Kimora Singamour Noodles

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with throwing a little ball, sinners style. The queens had to first walk the runway in a Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll inspired number, followed by a current-reigning-Miss-Fugly-Kitty-Scott-Claus-inspired Ugly as Sin before designing a showstopping number inspired by one of the Seven Deadly Sins, which were allocated by Icesis. Once again Icesis rose to the top and took out her second victory, after slaying each and every category while Kendall and Synthia were read for missing the mark on a couple and faced off in the lip sync. Sadly though, one of the besties had to go and it was the bananas talented Synthia Kiss.

Backstage Kendall was heartbroken to have been the one to send her bestie home, toasting to her success and telling the queens how proud of Synthia she is. After everyone spoke about how sad they were, Icesis admitted she wasn’t too disappointed because she knew one of them had to go for her to get her crown. Oh and we learnt that Kendall accidentally had her titties out during the performance and that is the kind of kinda that makes me live. Post lip sync, Kendall was feeling her oats and while she didn’t think she would be lip syncing, she was glad to show how sickening she is as a performer.

The queens were still feeling giddy and excited the next day, with Icesis thrilled to not only have won her second challenge but to have won her second design challenge. Sweet Pythia meanwhile was feeling disappointed, given she is also a talented designer – my words – but both times she was pipped at the post. Though she was feeling particularly salty since Icesis wore underwear and chains, while she served an entire sickening look. Her words this time.

Before my two faves descended into complete feuding chaos, Brad arrived to put the girls to the test in a little Fashion Puh-leeze! mini challenge. In duos, the dolls got in quick drag and joined Brad to read some of their sisters’ looks for filth. Up first were Kimora and Pythia in full yellow regalia, Adriana and Icesis were next giving full on glamazon while Kimora and Gia went a more opposites attract route, in the best way possible. During the challenge Kendall was working her dad jokes to perfection, Gia was cutting, Icesis and Adriana bounced off each other perfectly while Pythia seemed to struggle to get comfortable.

Ultimately Kendall took out a very well earned victory, which gave her the advantage of deciding the order in this week’s maxi challenge, The Roast of Brooke Lynn Hytes though they were encouraged to roast literally everyone in addition to their host. As Brad left, the dolls sat down to talk through the challenge with Kendall quickly allocating herself the first performance slot, so that she could set the tone of the roast. And you know, to finally prove herself. Kendall wanted Kimora or Icesis to go last as the strongest comedy girls, with Kimora offering herself up despite the risk. With that out of the way, Adriana was placed second, Gia third and Pythia fourth, leaving Icesis to go before Kimora. And in her mind, probably hurt both of them.

The dolls split up to start working on their routines with Pythia overwhelmed and Adriana absolutely terrified. Thankfully for them, they each got a bit of one-on-one time with Brad and Emma Hunter. Kendall was first to go and proved to make a good choice popping herself first since her Yvie Oddly jokes were near perfection. As was the laugh. Though the judges told her to get to the jokes as quickly as possible so that everyone was on board and can enjoy things. Adriana was still in her head while her rehearsal made Brad and Emma get lost in theirs, given they had no idea what was happening. Though I am hopeful her wackiness will sell it and this is a massive fake-out edit.

Kimora admitted to being a nervous public speaker, despite her passion for comedy. And given how great her rehearsal went, I think that second feeling will carry her through. On the other end of the spectrum, Pythia was super nervous and while she made herself laugh, Brad and Emma weren’t on board. Until the end when she let her rage at Icesis fly. Speaking of Icesis, her rehearsal didn’t go great, though she was open to working through their feedback and was glad to make cuts. Rounding things out was Gia Metric who thankfully could tell every time her jokes didn’t land. She then opened up that she struggled to be mean because she used to be an angry person and she was so scared to go backwards. But thankfully, the judges pushed her to go ALL in.

Elimination Day arrived with Pythia talking about how powerful she feels in drag and how it is what drew her to the career. She opened up that she named herself after a power woman in Greek culture as a way to take ownership of her femininity in a culture that focuses so heavily on masculinity. Gia spoke about the power of reclaiming your strength through drag though the challenge of not having that out of drag. Which is something all of the queens could relate to.

Emma joined Brooke, Amanda and Brad on the judges table for the roast where Kendall was fun, stupid and self-deprecating and damn, did she shine. Adriana meanwhile got stuck in her head from the start despite the cute jokes. Poor Gia didn’t seem to land any jokes, though at least got to advertise how good she is at deepthroating which, to be fair, isn’t nothing. Pythia meanwhile started out strong though as her confidence took hits, her performance flailed. Icesis came out looking for blood, going in hard and knocking it out of the park from start to finish. Even having herself in hysterics before the producer’s straight up pulled her off stage for going too long. Closing out the show was Kimora and like Pythia, she started out super strong though lost her way throughout the set and I worry that is all that the judges will remember.

On the Dungeons and Drag Queens Runway Gia was a gorgeous lizard queen, dripping in yellow and green. Adriana looked like the stunning daughter of the monster from The Shape of Water. Icesis was a perfectly regal demon in red and black while Kendall was a straight up elfin goddess. Kimora was perfection dressed like a glamazon raven – not Raven – while Pythia was a perfect little peach princess before a centaur ruveal. And well, it. Was. Perfect.

The judges lived for everything Icesis did in the roast, except for the fact she didn’t manage her time. Kimora meanwhile received universal praise for both of her looks, despite the ill-fitting nature of her runway. Oh and they also weren’t vibing with how flat she was in the roast. Gia received universal praise for her runway, though the roast was absolutely read for filth. Particularly since she spent most of the time talking about herself. Adriana’s runway was also beloved, despite the fact it was a designer recreation. That being said, the judges were proud of her for powering through her nerves in the roast. Kendall meanwhile received universal praise with the judges living for how hard she has worked and the fact she finally got to prove herself. Rounding things out, Pythia’s runway had everyone gagged for doing something different to her sisters, though they weren’t thrilled (or really disappointed) by the up and down nature of her performance.

Backstage Pythia was mentally preparing to lip sync again, though was ready to put her additional centaur legs to use should they be needed to trip anyone up. Adriana felt like the judges would be asking the dolls who should be going home, so decided to get it out of the way early by posing the question herself. Before anyone could speak, Kimora stepped in and told everyone to name her because she is ready, much to their collective gag. She spoke about having done everything she can in the competition and that at this point, she is ready to go. This led Kendall to beg her to find her fight because one round of bad critiques shouldn’t make her question her skills. Icesis started to cry, Gia was shocked by someone wanting out, Adriana and Pythia were confused, while Kimora simply reiterated that she knows her limits and well, she has hit them. So just let her go.

Ultimately Kendall took out a very well earned victory (which was maybe helped by Icesis running so damn over), while Pythia and Icesis were deemed safe. Adriana meanwhile narrowly avoided lip syncing, leaving Gia to battle against Kimora. Though given Kimora was ready to throw in the towel, it was less of a battle and more Gia turning tricks all over the stage to Get Down by b4-4 while Kimora lifted her up and acted like a ra-girl. Much to the confused maybe-delight of the judges and her sisters, who wondered why she just kept chasing after Gia. 

And as she wanted it to be written, so was it done as Gia was saved while Kimora was sent out with Amanda’s ‘that was weird as shit’ ringing in her ears. Though she was very effusive about her praise to the judges and the show for giving her a shot, so I don’t think anyone should be disappointed. Nor should she be disappointed in herself for her final moments, which she was already regretting because frankly, that ‘weird as shit’ lip sync was weird, and funny and memorable. And isn’t that the point.

Which is obviously what I told her as she entered the work room.

I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for knowing when the time was right to exit for her. Since, you know, self-care is fucking important. Given she is an absolute icon, I made sure to reiterate that over and over so she wouldn’t forget it before whipping out my big, fat bowl of Kimora Singamour Noodles.

Full of curry spice and jam-packed with the freshest veggies, this little number is the perfect quick and dirty meal for whipping up after work. Or when you weren’t expecting your bestie to get eliminated.

Enjoy!

Kimora Singamour Noodles
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp shaoxing wine
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp muscovado sugar
2 tbsp peanut oil
300g chicken breast, diced
¾ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper, freshly cracked
1 small onion, sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 red capsicum, sliced
1 cup snow peas, trimmed and halved down the centre
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp curry powder
½ tsp turmeric
200g thin rice noodles, cooked per packet instructions

Method
Combine the shaoxing, sesame oil, soy and fish sauces and the muscovado sugar in a small jug, whisk and leave to rest while you do all your mise en place, including cooking the noodles per the packet instructions.

When you’re ready to go, heat the peanut oil in a wok over medium heat and add ¼ tsp salt and the pepper and swirl in the hot oil. Working quickly, add the chicken and stir-fry for a couple of minutes. Remove and leave to rest on some paper towel.

Next stir-fry the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the carrots, capsicum, snow peas and garlic, cooking for a further minute. Return the chicken to the wok, along with the noodles, chilli flakes, curry powder and turmeric and toss for a minute or so before adding the prepared liquids. Cook, stirring, for a further couple of minutes, or until the chicken and noodles have soaked up most of the sauce.

Serve and devour immediately, in honour of the iconic Kimora.


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