Month: February 2023

David Shakarakris Fries

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, Snack, Street Food, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Spice Girls were reunited and living it up on the Heroes after Liz accepted the offer to mutiny. She quickly told George that at the tribal council she jumped ship, the Villains had actually wanted to blindside Hayley, unaware that George felt like his best shot at making it to the end was working with her again. At the next challenge, he immediately spilled the beans to Hayley that she was in trouble and that it was specifically Nina that was after her. After the Heroes lost immunity, Flick and Matt were dead men walking with the Spice Girls split on who would be best for their game come merge. George wanted to work with Matt while Shiz thought Flick would be the most helpful. Which led to fireworks as Liz threatened to play her idol to save Flick at tribal council. Ultimately though, they chose peace, agreeing to vote out Stevie instead as a compromise. Breaking the hearts of the nation.

The next day George gave us the first nude scene of the season, which was way more erotic than I expected. With that out of the way, he returned to camp as everyone reflected on the trauma of tribal council and how bad they felt for Stevie. Flick meanwhile was grateful to Shonee for saving her, whispering how come the merge, they have a lot of similar targets and as such, will easily work together moving forward. Gerry meanwhile was absolutely fuming, knowing how dangerous Flick actually is to their alliance. He caught up with George and Matt, with the trio vowing to work together all the way to the end and hoping to figure out a way to get rid of Flick ASAP without upsetting the girls. Oh and unbeknownst to George, he is totally third in this little alliance.

The tribes joined Jonathan and a massive feast in the middle of the jungle, with everyone giddy to clearly have all made it to the merge. Hugging it out before JLP even told them to drop their buffs. Shaun in particular was thrilled to see Flick and Matt still alive in the game, with Gerry and George clearly gritting their teeth about the former. Hayley got emotional talking about how shocked she is to make it this far, while Simon was glad to finally become datable as a juror on his second shot.

Everyone then took their places at the table and devoured everything in sight, before David whispered to Hayley and Shaun about how much of an advantage the OG Heroes have. Though George reminded us that he shines when in trouble and as such, got to work schmoozing with everyone. Hayley admitted was shocked that both she and George made it to merge as Flick and Liz reunited with their former OG Hero allies. And promptly locked in an alliance to take control, as Hayley watched on and asked George whether she should be concerned. And while they weren’t coming for her yet – Simon says, hey! – it spurred George into action, catching up with Liz to reiterate that they are screwed.

The tribe ventured back to the former Heroes camp where Hayley suggested they come up with the new merge tribe name, with George’s crew suggesting Fa’Amolemole while Nina instead wanted Vigilantes. And while she lost out on a vote, she didn’t really care given she and the OG Heroes have the upper hand on the votes that count. As the Spice Girls and Hayley went for a swim, Flick caught up with Shaun to let him know that she had to pledge allegiance to George, Shonee and Liz at the previous tribal council and as such, one of them needs to budge on this first vote. Sadly for Flick though, he had no interest in it being him and as such, told her they will be staying Heroes strong, though trading Gerry out for Simon. And well, given she would be closer to the top of that group, she was happy to go back on her word. 

That night the alliance got together to plot about the upcoming tribal council, unaware that the Spice Girls were sitting back at camp watching them. And Flick girl, you’re in danger, because Shiz will not take it kindly if you’re really flipping on them so soon.

The next day Shiz and Flick went for an early morning walk down by the shore with Flick pretending that Simon is still the Heroes target, but she suggested she told them they need to split the vote. And then pretended it wouldn’t be on one of the Spice Girls. When it totally would. After Flick disappeared, Shonee told Liz that it was all a lie and Flick is out to get them, so pulled George aside to fill him in and tell him he was right. While he didn’t do a told-you-so dance, he got to work planning which two people would be easiest to lock in. And while George didn’t love it – and Liz sure as hell didn’t – he knew Simon was the easiest target given nobody wants to work with him, so if he offers something, surely it is a good thing. 

With that, the Spice Girls and Matt pulled Simon and Hayley aside to float the idea of working together. With George promptly throwing Flick under the bus, letting Simon know that voting him out was what she told them was the priority. Hayley was all in given she knew it was better to be amongst other threats, while Simon was awkward about being the one that everyone talks about being the target. Knowing he needed to work him just a little more, George pulled Simon aside and assured him that them working together would be so unexpected that it just may work for both of them. And once they take control, they can ride it to the end and deal with their feud once their mutual enemies are gone. Essentially.

The tribe reunited with Jonathan for the first individual immunity challenge of the season where they would have to hold their breath under grates in the ocean as the tide rises until only one was left. Or in the case of Survivor 43, as the tide rose and then fell, leaving Jeffrey to hand out immunity to both Owen and Karla. So congratulations Flick or Matt, I guess, given their professions. Everyone was still holding strong at 30 minutes before a surge took out George, Sam and Shonee in a matter of minutes. The next surge cost Liz her spot, followed by a heartbroken Shaun and Simon. Gerry was next to drop, as Shonee and George started to speculate on the sidelines, with Shonee suggesting they propose everyone unites to get rid of Hayley while George suggested Shonee is actually the more likely target for the Heroes. Back to the challenge, Flick was next out, followed by Hayley and David leaving Matt and Nina to face off before Nina tapped out, handing Matt the first individual immunity of the season. As predicted, I may note.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Matt on a hard fought victory, while Sam quickly suggested one of Shiz would be the best target. So yeah, I’m back to hating Sam. Someone I am loving though is Matt, who was thrilled to be trusted by most of the tribe and as such, ready to play both sides, though assured us (or me) that he intended to side with George to take control. Sam, Shaun, David, Flick and Nina caught up by the well with Flick quickly locking in Shonee as the target while David wanted them to split the vote on Liz to also flush her idol. Hayley and Matt joined the group, quietly nodding as they agreed to split between Shiz. Like the OG Villains, they knew they had to get Simon on board to pull it off, so Shaun pulled him aside to let him know the plan. Selling it as his last shot to prove loyalty, which is a mood.

George and Shonee meanwhile were busy figuring out the best alpha to target, with George wanting to get rid of Sam given all he cares about his loyalty and is kind of holding everyone together. Specifically Simon and Matt, who are most likely to flip back to the alphas. And you know Gerry was keen on that one, given Sam was the one that pushed to send him to the Villains originally. And as was Hayley, given he was coming for her with Nina. Poor Simon however was suffering some Villains related trauma and decided to catch up with Hayley to see what she was thinking and while she tried to gently nudge him in the direction of being smart and working with the OG Villains, he admitted that he is still unsure which way to go.

Simon then wisely approached the Spice Girls to find out what the plan was once Sam was gone, with Shonee and George telling him that he can dictate who goes next should they align. Liz and David meanwhile caught up by the well with Liz pretending the Villains were still out to get Simon, while Dave warned her that she is a target and as such, she should play her idol. She was obviously spooked, so went back to the Spice Girls with her spiralling as George and Shonee tried to keep her calm. The latter, however, was also worried about Simon not being with them and instead of fracturing again, George got to work finding another number to guarantee they have eight people to work with.

Being a bold, messy icon, George pulled Shaun aside and straight up suggested he needs to jump early rather than too late, telling him to join with the Villains to get rid of Sam, given he feels like he is running the show. Shaun ran straight to Sam to fill him in and as he scowled into the jungle about being the target, George went back to spill the beans to Shiz who were irate that he gave the plan to their opponents. As such, the girls flipped the vote to Dave to navigate around a potential idol and while the trio were feeling good, it started to spook Matt that they were all over the shop until Gerry tried to calm things down. While Simon continued to question whether he can trust George enough to keep them both around until the end.

And yes, the answer is yes, given the meat heads are more likely to beat you in challenges. And I prefer the Spice Girls.

At tribal council Hayley spoke about how difficult the first post-merge tribal council is, given everyone has built different relationships, across multiple tribes and now has competing agendas. Matt meanwhile was thrilled to be immune and having the power to make a choice that will secure his future in the game without the fear of it burning him. Yet. George mentioned this tribal council is a turning point in the game, with players setting up their shot at the end with a single decision. Oh and he is super confident, which made David scoff. Liz opened up about clearly being on the bottom of the tribe with Shonee agreeing that she feels like she is in danger, specifically concerned about having to rely on new people for her own survival. David spoke about being hopeful he has built enough relationships to come out on top, as Shonee and George started to whisper about whether Liz needs to play her idol.

George cut everyone off, throwing out Survivor is about deals, rather than relationships and if everyone holds firm, someone will be walking out of here and he won’t be coming back. Which made Flick feel super confident, given she is a female. Simon spoke about the power of being on the bottom at the merge, given you’re elevated into the swing vote position and get to choose which side to work with. Well, unless you’re Sarah who was trying to play the middle pre-merge and like Julia before her, who promptly got run over by Michelle and Aubry. With that the tribe voted and Liz played her idol for Shonee as the OG Heroes looked ready to shit their pants. Dave then tried to get in her head, telling her it was a bad move, though she wisely held firm as four votes piled up on Shonee – with her offering a quiet thanks to Flick – before a single one landed on Liz followed by the alliance of seven holding firm and taking control, sending David out of the game and Flick straight to the top of the hit list.

And they looked so angry.

Despite wanting to toss his food on the table and walk out, as David arrived at Loser Lodge there was a part of my heart that felt sorry for his stumble. The stumble being, choosing not to work with Shiz instead of turning on them and trying to take control with the boring Heroes. Thankfully he felt bad for not working with our icons – particularly since it cost him a spot on the jury – so I assured him that despite being the first alpha out, he is one I would have happily seen last longer given I think he would have played things more interestingly in a few rounds. Which seemed to cheer him up. But even if it didn’t, he got a massive bowl of David Shakarakris Fries which sure as hell did the job!

Shaker fries season is my favourite time at McDonald’s, however lately they have been opting for new flavours rather than the OG – though the cheeseburger was stunning, TBH. This little copycat may not be a perfect replica of my beloved shaker fries, though it is bloody delicious. Spicy, sweet and oh so salty, this is the perfect snack while having a cold beer on a summer afternoon (or when hungover the next day).

Enjoy!

David Shakarakris Fries
Serves: 2 dear, athletic besties.

Ingredients
2 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
2 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp beef stock powder
¼ tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp dried parsley
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
¼ tsp black pepper

Method
Cook the fries as per Jud’s recipe, or if going packet because they are just as great, as per their instructions.

Meanwhile combine the rest of the ingredients together in a small bowl and sprinkle a couple of teaspoons over the fries at first, before adjusting to taste. And devouring.

Excess of the mix can be stored in an airtight container in the pantry.


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Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Party Food, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Simon broke down after voting out his friend Jordie, which annoyed the hell out of Liz, who was actually aligned with Jordie. Obviously Nina saw the growing tension, getting into Liz’s ear and making an alliance to go to the end with her. And even Sam became likeable, after announcing that he too wanted to align with Liz. At the immunity challenge, Shonee and George were gutted to learn about the Jordie boot, so hilariously threw the challenge in an obvious fashion. Since everyone thought Flick was given Simon’s immunity idol, the OG Villains decided to vote for Ben given it was unlikely they’d play it for him. Which was the correct assumption as Flick was crushed to learn the idol she played for Matt was a fake – and that she was potentially played – while Ben was tragically booted from the game.

Back at camp Flick was well and truly feeling like a goose, though Matt was feeling good that she at least wanted to protect him. George asked her for the background on everything that went down, with Flick immediately assuming Simon was coming for her as revenge for their first season. And given George is iconic, he obviously agreed with her as the new Heroes tribe all raged about how terrible of a player Simon is. And you best believe Flick is planning to channel a little bit of George at the next challenge and completely blow up his game.

The next day Flick was still completely enraged, assuring George that she will never work with Simon ever again. They spoke about how stupid his plan was to give a fake idol, with Flick explaining that Shaun had even seen the idol and didn’t realise it was fake. Which led to them all explaining it isn’t hard, given what David did to him in his first season. Knowing the merge was imminent, George realised he needed to pull in another person and as such, approached Matt to come over to the Villains and take control. And while Matt didn’t immediately sign up for it, he did say that if he aligns with them, you best believe he is with them till the end. Matt then asked who would be the first target if he joined them, with Shonee smartly telling him they would vote out whoever he wanted. Oh and then when Matt proposed he bring one other person with him, Shonee agreed a buy one get one free would be ok to her. Like an icon.

Over at the Villains they were blissfully unaware that Simon was about to be destroyed, as Hayley diligently worked while Simon felt he was living the hero’s life. Since he gave up the idol and showed he was a man of his word and now, he will live out his dream and make the merge. And oh god, I feel bad for him. Liz meanwhile was thrilled to have secured a majority on the tribe alongside Nina, Dave and Sam, with Simon the number one target on her hitlist. And she is ready to give him a reality check ASAP. She pulled him aside to show off her idol, asking if he would be willing to show his and instead of saying he gave it away, he told her he isn’t sure he can trust her enough to do that. She then immediately called him out for giving up his idol and turning on Jordie and let’s just say, he could not handle it.

Liz ventured back to camp as Simon tried to clear the air, while she straight up destroyed him, asking him to explain what happened to the idol while everyone in camp watched just how good she can be. Concerned about how angry she was with Simon, Dave approached her to check in and see how she was doing, unsure how to manage her emotions should they return to tribal council. And while he pushed for Simon to go, she pointed out that nobody trusts him or wants to work with him, and as such, getting rid of a real threat like Hayley makes even more sense.

The tribes came together with JLP at the beach where the new Villains spoke about how glad they were to see Ben go – fucking vom – before Flick agressively came for Simon. Much to his absolute shock. As everyone turned on him, he tried to reiterate how he believed it was an idol with George and Flick calling him out for lying before George pointed out that Simon has no idea what is going on. And Shaun got played by being handed a fake idol not once, but twice.

As is becoming tradition, let’s get back to the reward challenge though, where the tribes would face off one on one to climb a net and grab a ring before trying to land it on a post, with the first tribe to 3 winning a massive Chinese banquet. First up were Matt and Shaun with the latter making quick work of things and taking out the first point for the Villains. Stevie was up next against Liz and while the Olympian was first to the net, Stevie took out the lead and scored the point without even wearing his glasses. Like an icon. Simon and George then faced off in a grudge match, with Simon getting to an early lead before knocking off his ring and allowing George to toss it off course. To quote JLP, it became the battle of the tossers with Shonee pointing out Simon has it in the bag. And he did, after throwing George’s ring off the course to boot. Next up were Sam and Flick, with Flick using the time to suggest the Villains throw the next immunity challenge to get rid of Simon because he is a snake and ugh, I love her. Oh and then Sam won the reward for the Villains. Eventually.

Back at camp the Villains were gagged to see just how epic their banquet was as they filled up their plates with food as everyone joked about the fortune cookies having a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Which you know will be the case. Everyone went quiet as they smashed their food before Sam – again, do I love him? – asked if they should address the Simon shaped elephant in the room, with him immediately copping to the fact he just assumed it was an idol without paperwork. And while nobody believed him, I feel bad, because he can’t help being trolled by production. He apologised for the situation – his stupidity – while Liz said that she was told it just looked like a piece of wood. While everyone looked completely enraged, as Shaun spoke about how gutted he was for Flick, given it could have humiliated her. Simon tried to play it cool and offered a chance for everyone to talk to him, with Sam admitting he probably would have been fooled too and while he assured them it was done for the betterment of the tribe, they clearly didn’t buy it.

While Simon tried to apologise to everyone, Sam reminded him he probably should be apologising to Flick. Shaun though wisely pointed out to us that he swore on his kids life in exchange for an idol and since it wasn’t one, the deal is off. And since the new Heroes want him gone, he got to work rallying everyone to throw the challenge and make their dreams come true.

The tribes reconnected with JLP for the immunity challenge where one on one they would race out to a station to memorise symbols and recreate the sequence, with the first tribe to three taking out immunity. After Simon sat out – what, bro?! – Shaun elected to face off against George with Shaun pretending to be stupid long enough to let George take out the first point. Next up Liz – out of the loop – tied things up against Shonee before Hayley took things slowly against Stevie, who put the Heroes out in front once again. As Flick and George quietly whispered about the Villains clearly throwing it. Oh and then Nina and Gerry faced off, with King Gerry taking out the win. Just as everyone but Simon wanted. 

Back at camp the tribe danced around the fact they threw the challenge, with Hayley thrilled by how easy it will be to get rid of Simon. Sam being Sam, he checked in with Simon to talk feelings as Shaun, Dave, Nina and Hayley caught up about splitting the vote between Simon and Liz, with a single vote thrown on Sam for safety. Simon caught up with Shaun, happy to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb in a split between himself and Liz. And while he was nervous, he knew he had to roll with it if he wanted to last much longer in the game. But obviously, Simon gonna Simon, pulling Liz aside to see what she knew, with her simply suggesting he look for a real idol. Hayley and Sam meanwhile caught up, with the latter suggesting someone else needs to have a vote put on them, worrying that it would once again be him.

As such, Sam caught up with Shaun to see what was happening and somehow, he saw it was all bullshit. He then pulled Nina aside to see what was actually happening, given Shaun’s story wasn’t adding up. With Nina quickly spilling the beans on the plan for Sam to be the sacrificial lamb should both the OG Villains have an idol, before the duo flipped the script on Hayley and locked in a vote for their secret alliance with Dave and Liz to get rid of the only winner on the cast. Nina pulled Liz aside to tell her Shaun and Hayley’s plan, which she was obviously not keen on, so she immediately locked in Nina and Sam’s plan to blindside Hayley instead. 

At tribal council Simon spoke about how terrified he was after being destroyed by Flick and Co, before questioning JLP on what exactly he pulled out of the cookie jar. With Jonathan thrilled to point out he only found a clue to which coconut had an idol under it. With Hayley wisely asking if that meant the idol had already been found. Thankfully for Simon – if you’re a fan – he felt vindicated that the producers confirmed he didn’t do it to spite anyone. Liz spoke about how tight the OG Heroes are and how disappointed she was to not be able to find an in, as David winked at her for playing the part so well. Simon turned things back to himself, pointing out he is now a gun for hire and as such, people need to use him when they can, rather than sending him out. While Shaun pointed out that both Simon and Liz add value to them. Sam spoke about how shocked he was to receive votes at the last tribal council, admitting that it makes him question his place in the tribe if they were willing to take the risk. While Liz just wasn’t sure if she could trust things enough not to play her idol.

Right on cue, JLP announced that this tribal council had a spoil and things would play out a little differently, as he wheeled out the Heroes before announcing that the Villains had a single opportunity to mutiny. One by one, they would go up to vote and if they wanted the shot, they were to write down their name, if not, they do nothing. If there is one name in the urn, they mutiny but if there are multiple – or none – they have to draw rocks to decide who goes. Liz pretty much signalled she is ready to go back to her friends, while Simon desperately wanted to take a shot at safety while David pointed out that it is a bad idea, since they hate him. Shaun meanwhile was busy whispering, suggesting if he goes over, it could be enough to win some people back. With that the tribe voted and Liz took the opportunity, while whispering to Nina about how they are still tight and she will fight for them to get all the intel.

The next day Stevie and Gerry bonded over being hard of hearing and enjoying being able to listen to people on their terms. Meanwhile the Spice Girls reunion tour was in full swing as Shonee and Liz went bathing in the ocean, holding each other close and living their best lives. And well, Shonee was feeling like she and George are particularly unstoppable. The trio hung out in the shelter, speculating whether a merge was imminent or whether they would get lucky enough to send the Villains back to tribal council one last time. Though when Liz told George that should the previous tribal council had played out, Hayley would have been blindsided, George was nervous about them returning given he knows it is better for both of their games if he and Hayley work together.

Flick meanwhile was feeling well and truly on the outs, but bless, she got to work bonding with Liz and working her social game a little bit. Liz boldly asked who she was working with on the original Heroes tribe and given Flick somehow found out who Liz had been working with, she opened up about vibing with Sam, Nina and Dave. And what do you know, just like that, Flick had almost worked her way into the girl gang. That is until she approached George and suggested she work with the Spice Girls to take control at the merge. He then pulled Gerry aside to fill him in on Flick’s powers and suggested they need to get rid of her ASAP, not just to keep Shiz in their pocket but also protect Hayley on the other side. So basically, we’re looking at another thrown challenge, this time going back to the new Heroes.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a massive challenge for a trip to the Survivor sandwich shop, where they would pull a cart through a series of obstacles to collect balls before shooting them into three baskets held up by their tribemates. Obviously the Villains got out to an early lead, though the Heroes managed to stay surprisingly close on their tails. Until the ramp happened, where the Heroes straight up got stuck and allowed the Villains to power ahead and start shooting their baskets before the Heroes even crossed the ramp. Oh and then Dave, a professional athlete, promptly landed ball after ball and took out the win for the Villains. As George warned Hayley that Nina had been gunning for her at the last tribal council. So you know shit is about to hit the fan.

We followed the Villains off to the reward where we learnt that, as is oft the case, the tribe would each go to the sandwich bar one at a time with the order decided by consensus. So yeah, obviously there is an advantage hidden there. And while Nina asked to go first, Hayley wisely said sticks is the fairest way to play things. Which obviously scared Nina, given she saw George whispering to Hayley after the challenge and didn’t want her anywhere near the start if she was nervous about being blindsided. While she got lucky with Shaun picking the shortest stick, Hayley was second and after Shaun came back empty handed – though full – Hayleyhad hope. Sadly for her, she also found nothing, as did everyone that came after until Sam trashed things and confirmed that maybe there really was nothing hidden there this time.

Meanwhile over with the Heroes, Matt watched on as the girls frolicked in the ocean, wary of the way Flick had weasled her way into their alliance. As such, he knew he desperately needed to make a final pitch to join the alliance ahead of her, pulling George aside to sell himself as the ultimate spy come the merge. And obviously pledge his undying loyalty to George and Gerry. Giving George the magic 7 people needed to take control. And oh God, do I ship this alliance?

The tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge – the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours – where everyone would have to hold a sandbag tethered to a trough above their head, with the last tribe standing high and dry winning immunity. Oh and one person on each tribe would race to solve a puzzle, with the first to finish getting the chance to kick someone out of the lineup from the opposing tribe. Everyone took their places as Stevie and Nina raced to finish the puzzle and while Nina was calm and methodical, Stevie was messy and a little bit chaotic. And while his tribe tried to keep him focused and upbeat, the writing was on the wall as they braced for Matt to be kicked out of the challenge. Which Nina did without hesitation after demolishing the puzzle, as Liz took on the second bag. After ten minutes, it started to rain making it even harder for everyone to hold on to the bags as Liz and Flick desperately tried to hold strong. Before they dropped after 20 minutes, sending the Heroes back to tribal council.

Back at camp the mood was decidedly sombre as Stevie apologised for bombing the puzzle, while George admitted to us that he isn’t overly upset, giving he can get rid of Flick and maintain control coming into the merge. He pulled Gerry aside to reiterate how important it is to get rid of her so they can topple the Heroes, with Gerry assuring him that he is positive that Matt is on their side. George then caught up with Stevie who was thrilled that Flick was the target, though assured him it was important that Shonee and Liz don’t find out how close they’ve grown to Matt. Which seems like a little misstep, but whatever. George caught up with Shiz, with the girls obviously suggesting they get rid of Matt with George trying to explain that from his experience with Flick, she won’t actually have their back long term and it is safer for all of them if they get rid of her now. 

Not being her first rodeo, Flick realised that nobody was talking to her and as such, she knew that her name was being thrown around. She decided to address it head on, pulling George aside and asking him what the plan is and while he assured her Matt was the target, she still felt uneasy. Uneasy, but not exactly sure what she could do to change anything. Aside from pulling the girls aside and pitching her case to them. She reiterated that Matt is definitely going to flip back to the OG Heroes as soon as possible, so she would love to work with them to get rid of him as she will stay loyal. And she and Liz have the same friends in the OG Heroes tribe. As the girls tried to convince George that she was an asset, Flick approached them to try her luck herself before Shonee wandered off with her. Leaving Liz to point out to George that she also doesn’t want to get rid of any more women yet. And after she couldn’t convince him to change his mind, she walked off, leaving George very nervous about pushing too hard to get rid of Flick, whether it means he is breaking up the band at the same time.

At tribal council Liz spoke about how thrilled she was to be reunited with her allies, while Flick admitted she feels like how Liz was feeling at the Villains tribe, well and truly at the bottom. Just like Matt. Stevie meanwhile was comfortable with this alliance, emphasis on this, which should be a warning to Shiz. Shonee spoke about how the differing opinions within alliances can be frustrating, however George tried to remind everyone that they, as a tribe, need to focus on having the strongest chance come the merge. While Liz tried to remind him that sometimes, you need to bend a little. Matt meanwhile laid his cards on the table, assuring everyone that he doesn’t want to take advantage of cracks and instead, work together and go far.

Flick meanwhile gave her hail mary plea, telling the OG Villains that she definitely has the best shot at pulling in the numbers they need from the other tribe. And she loves the girls and told George that she finally wants to work with him to boot. Gerry meanwhile was having none of it, telling her that he was screwed by the Heroes once and he knows they are going to want to pull Flick back in. As he and Flick spoke, George and Shonee whispered about the vote, with Liz telling Shonee to tell him that if he refuses to budge from Flick, she will give her her idol. And while he told her it was a waste, she was firm that she will be protecting her. This spooked George, who asked to talk to Gerry, telling him that the girls will play an idol to protect Flick and as such, they need to pick Matt or Stevie to go. And ugh, Gerry chose Stevie to be sacrificed, just as Shonee told Stevie how gorge he was looking tonight.

George returned to the group, whispering to Shiz that he would be willing to get rid of Stevie as a compromise. Which they quickly agreed to, as Stevie spoke about how difficult a vote it would be, given he has genuinely grown to love everyone. With that the tribe finally voted, Liz wisely held on to her idol and the OG Spice Girls – and I’m including Gerry in that – banded together to blindside Stevie from the game. And ugh, he was absolutely gutted. After quietly making his way to Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that despite just missing the merge, he still played a very strong game and sadly was just struck by a stray bullet. Which had him feeling ok before he became positively jubilant upon seeing the massive plate of Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks.

While it is kind of difficult to call this a recipe – given it is so simple – there is no denying these are a delicious little snack. Sweet and salty, they go well at a little party, celebrating game day – aka Rhianna’s recent halftime show – or my fave, as a breakfast snack when you had too much to drink at the aforementioned party.

Enjoy!

Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
12 rashers streaky bacon
24 chipolatas

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the bacon rashers in half and wrap around the chipolatas, either securing with a toothpick or placing them join-down on a lined baking sheet.

Transfer the baking sheet to the oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until cooked through and crisp.

Serve piping hot with your favourite sauces, for optimal devouring conditions.


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Jaxfruit Tacos

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls learnt the Maxi Challenge – or should we say, Maxine Challenge – would see them star in the sequel to Daytona Wind. And while the first one was super fun, it was mostly due to the fact the dolls were gagged by the surprise gas. Despite having the power to assign the roles, Aura opted to give up the campy, lead role and take on a quieter part which she quickly proceeded to bomb. Though Luxx noted, she probably would have bombed any and all roles she had. Jax meanwhile was forgettable and missed all the Drag Race references as Mistress – who inherited the lead role – slayed the game and took out victory. Only narrowly though, over her nemesis Malaysia, as the duo played off each other perfectly. Ultimately Jax and Aura landed in the bottom and like Angela Bassett, Jax did the thing and took out the lip sync, as Aura joined the win to elim club.

Before cursing them to be haunted by the ghost of her father on her way out the door. Backstage Jax was obviously a little nervous about said curse, given she was ultimately the one that sent Aura out the door, though was glad to prove she is going to be very difficult for the girls to send home. After a brief moment celebrating Mistress’ win, Loosey turned the attention back to herself as she complained about only being safe. When it is what she deserved. But whatever. I prefer Spice’s delusion that she is entering her top era.

The next day Spice was still busy trotting around despite Ru and Michelle’s hate, while Loosey asked the girls without a win how angry they were. Which obviously led to all the girls eviscerating her for going full Milk and raging over being safe. Before she could spiral any further, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d all be lip syncing, in a battle royale LalaPaRuZa in full assassin drag. And by the end of the night, one of the dolls will be going home. They immediately split up to beat their mugs, with Mistress super confident knowing Spice, Loosey and Marcia are the easy marks, though admitted to fearing facing off against Sasha or Anetra. As she should, TBH.

We quickly pivoted to the Mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Ross took their places on the panel as the girls lined up to hear the rules. Which were super simple, given they just need to survive one of the eight lip syncs that were about to unfold. And Ru, Michelle and Ross’ coffee enema energy, which is always a highlight to me. Bruno entered the mainstage to toss his balls before selecting Malaysia as the first one to lip sync, meaning she was able to pick her opponent. Ultimately opting for Marcia. Which meant Marcia had the power to pick the song, going with Anitta’s Boys Don’t Cry. And while Malaysia was expecting to steamroll, Marcia had tricks up her sleeves, flipping around the stage and giving sass as she hit every lyric. And rightly took out the first victory, sending her back to safety while Malaysia would have to lip sync again in the next round.

Next up Bruno grabbed Loosey’s ball with her also picking the easy mark in Spice, with Spice selecting Joan Jett’s Do You Wanna Touch. Sweet Spice tried her darndest, bringing all the energy to the performance however Loosey’s choice proved wise as she took out victory and joined Marcia Cubed backstage. But yeah, make no mistake, the lip sync was boring. Bruno wheeled out his balls yet again, this time pulling out Luxx who opted to face Salina. Who in turn chose It’s All Coming Back to Me Now by my sweet Celine. Aka a song she does on the reg back home. And girl, it showed as while Luxx gave all the drama and emotion, it was definitely Salina’s show as she rightly entered the top nine and sent Luxx through to the next round.

Bruno’s balls decreed Mistress was next who chose Jax, feeling she was more likely to pick the song she wanted, Tell It To My Heart by the iconic Taylor Dayne. And despite Jax proving herself to be a bit of an assassin so far, it was Mistress who stole the show, serving reveals, comedy and drama and ugh, she was perfect. And lucky that the judges have already seen Jax’s tricks and flips twice already. As such, Mistress was deemed safe and Jax was forced to lip sync again. Which gagged the safe girls, before Mistress mocked Loosey for doing a shit job and just getting lucky with her opponent. Most importantly, the final round was an absolute battle royale as Anetra and Sasha faced off with the former picking I’m In Love With A Monster by Fifth Harmony. And holy shit, did mother Sasha and Anetra feed us. Every letter was hit, the dolls were on the beat, every flip and trick was perfection and gaggy and well, TBH, I feel like both of them should have been deemed safe. But sadly only Sasha was sent to safety, while Anetra was forced to lip sync again.

Bruno’s balls lined up Malaysia to kick things off again, this time going with the safest bet on stage in the form of Spice. And while Spice wisely chose Don’t Go Yet by Camila Cabello because Malaysia wouldn’t know the lyrics, neither did she. And well it was an adorable mess as they both tried to serve something, before Spice ultimately resorted to the conga. Which obviously led to Malaysia joining the safe girls. Where she promptly pretended she didn’t pick Marcia because she thought she could beat her. But more importantly, the last lip sync would be a throuple as the remaining dolls faced off to Vanessa Williams’ The Right Stuff. With Luxx proving that rage can take you far, as all three of the girls hit every lyric and absolutely dominated, but Luxx just clearly had more fire to stay which pushed her over the edge and sent her to safety.

Meaning Spice, Anetra and Jax took the stage assuming they would battle as a trio before Ru gagged them with a twist, courtesy of Bruno’s balls. You see, he would pull a queen’s name out of his sack and then that queen would get to choose which one of her sisters would be safe. And because Anetra doesn’t enjoy murdering puppies, she gagged the dolls by sending Spice to safety and opted to battle Jax in the final round. And while Jax vowed to make Anetra regret her choice, as soon as Finally by Cece Peniston started playing, it was clear Anetra is really one to be feared. She gave camp charms, sexy moves, hairography and all the attitude as she ran every phrase flipped over the stage before walking the duck all the way to safety, ultimately sending Jax home.

As I pulled Jax in for a hug backstage, I reminded her that a Lalaparuza also cost a lip sync assassin their spot last year – RIP Jasmine – meaning that she kinda, sorta did all she could to navigate the producer’s newest favourite storyline. I reminded her that despite being in the bottom twice in the season, she truly got the chance to shine. I mean, who will be able to forget her skipping with her hair? Not. Me. Plus to misquote Batman like Simon, it is always better to die a robbed goddess than live long enough to become a person production rigged the season for. Which was enough to cheer her up before she even saw the banquet of Jaxfruit Tacos.

I would argue that Mexican is the best cuisine, be it Tex Mex to the more traditional variety. And these jackfruit numbers are even better, since you can pretend they’re a healthy option. Spicy and smoky, the pulled pork-ness of the jackfruit melts in your mouth and makes you want more.

Enjoy!

Jaxfruit Tacos
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
800g canned jackfruit in brine, drained
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp ground coriander
1 ½ tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp cinnamon
400g canned diced tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 avocado, diced
1 tomato, diced
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 cup rice
1 ½ cup chicken stock
12 taco shells

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and sweat the onions, stirring, for about five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for another minute before stirring in the jackfruit, breaking up with a wooden spoon to roughly shred it. Cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring in the cumin, oregano, half the chilli, coriander, one teaspoon of the paprika, the cinnamon, canned tomato and paste. Stir to combine and simmer for ten minutes, or until fragrant and reduced.

While that is simmering, combine the avocado, tomato and lime zest and juice in a bowl. Set aside. Next, pop the rice in a medium saucepan with the stock and remaining chilli and paprika. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cook covered until all the liquid has absorbed. Remove from the heat and leave the lid on to allow it to steam a little. Finally, cook the taco shells in the oven for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp.

To serve, fill the tacos with rice, the jackfruit and avocado salsa – adding cheese and sour cream, if they are your jam – before devouring.


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Benjamin Crullaw

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Shonee and George were living it up at the top of the new Heroes, accepting meetings with all the plebs who were begging for mercy. Meanwhile at the Villains, Simon won over the OG Heroes with his non-idol leaving Liz and Jordie on the outs. As such, at the immunity challenge, Shonee handed her idol over to Jordie while Shaun gave Simon’s non-idol to Flick to cause chaos in the Heroes tribe. After Liz also found an idol, she and Jordie used them to bluff the Heroes into turning on their own. However they were sadly just as played, as the Heroes made a last minute switch at tribal council to tie things up between Jordie and the presumed target, mateship king Sam. And when Jordie and Liz held onto their idols, Jordie was blindsided from the game. Breaking my heart in the process.

While the Villains tribal was busy being chaotic, at the Heroes camp Stevie was looking to the stars alongside Flick and Matt, who were quietly working him to float the idea of working with the Heroes. And by that, they straight up told him that they were given information at the immunity challenge that Simon still wants to work with him and should he survive tribal council, it is a sign that they should band together to take control over here. Which is great, but can we also remember that he (and Simon) will easily be on the bottom of the Heroes when the threats are gone and as such, it is just a bad idea all round for them. Though it is Simon and Stevie, so it tracks.

The next day, Liz was feeling even worse about her situation back at camp. Despite Liz being the only person outside the alliance, it was Simon who spent the day breaking down in tears about missing Jordie, who he played a critical role in voting out. The white heterosexual males all appeared to be struggling, with Sam taking the last tribal council as a sign that the Heroes aren’t as loyal as he would like and as such, he only felt like he could trust David. Knowing Sam was feeling shitty about what happened, Nina also took it as a wake-up call and knew that she needed to bring Jordie and Liz’s energy with the idols if she wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps and take out the win.

After clearing the air with Sam and vowing to be a tight three with him and David, Nina realised they need one other person to take out the majority. And since she has an idol and some tight allies on the other side that could set them up at the merge, she set her sights on Queen Liz and ugh, I love to see it. After the girls talked shit about Simon, Liz went to catch up with Sam. Right on cue Simon asked to join the conversation with Liz being an icon, telling him to let them talk and they can have one next. Or something. While Sam straight up told her that he wants to work with her and oh my God, do I like Sam now? I guess I do and you’ll just have to accept I am fickle and love to change my mind.

Back at the Heroes, the tribe were celebrating Stevie doubling the number of days played from his first season. Flick meanwhile was more celebratory about her non-idol, as she and Matt decided to chat to Ben about how to take control. Though obviously left the existence of said idol out of the discussion, which is a problem, given he is one of the only people that knows it is not one. But no, no, Flick can’t trust Ben – who has been nothing but loyal – and would rather hold out hope that Stevie may, just may, change. As Flick and Shonee bonded in the hammock, George grew worried about her social game and as such, suggested to Gerry and Stevie that they throw the challenge to get rid of Flick and keep themselves in control of the tribe. And Flick girl, you in danger.

The tribes joined with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where Shonee was heartbroken to learn her idol exited along with her ally. While George was so ropeable that he called it a declaration of war from the OG Heroes and reminded them that he has two hostages that he is willing to get rid of. Liz and Shonee once again whispered like icons, with Liz outing Simon for ditching them and shared that Simon handed his non-idol over to Matt and Flick to use to blindside George. But back to the challenge. The tribes would transport massive blocks through a series of obstacles before using them to form a staircase and ascend a tower. So yeah, this is built for the new Villains tribe whether George was planning to throw it or not.

While the Villains clearly had the advantage, George and Shonee still obviously chose to throw it, doing the absolute bare minimum and well, I love that for them. Hayley meanwhile bitched about them throwing it as the Villains powered ahead, reminding us that this surely was a challenge the Villains were going to win anyway, so can you really get mad at the icons? Once again Liz stepped away from her tribe to chat to George and Shonee, outing Simon for working with Shaun and Hayley specifically, but assuring them that she has an idol and to not worry about her. Despite the fact the rest of their tribe were throwing it, Ben, Flick and Matt desperately tried to close the gap, somehow leading to the Villains only narrowly managing to take out immunity. As Simon desperately tried to gesture to Stevie about destiny before wishing the tribe luck at tribal council.

Back at camp Matt was ropable about the fact George and Shonee threw the challenge and as such, was even more fired up to woo Stevie to their side. He tried to downplay the rage though, pointing out that the Villains appeared to have a wild one the last night, speculating about Simon playing an idol. With George, ever the icon, telling him it didn’t happen because he gave the idol to Flick. With her awkwardly having no way to deny it, so instead pointing out that she will be happy to show George the idol tonight at tribal council.

Flick, Matt and Ben went for a walk to get water, asking Stevie if he would like to come with them and while he did, George wisely asked him to stay with them. As the Villains and Gerry tried to decide who to load their votes on, Gerry pointed out that the Heroes don’t care for Ben and as such, he is the safest bet to vote for given they will not play an idol for him. As the Heroes were by the well, Flick came clean to Ben about the idol, hoping to leverage it to convince him that now is the time to blindside George. While back at the shelter, Gerry was about to have an aneurysm trying to explain the plan to Stevie – and the fact four people can’t split six votes – as Shonee quietly told him to breathe and just keep focused.

As the two factions came back together, Stevie went for a walk with Flick, Matt and Ben to lock in the plan to blindside George due to his threat level. While George, Gerry and Shonee grew more and more frustrated that Stevie was wandering around camp and potentially outing all of their plans. After Stevie left the Heroes, they realised they needed to come up with a back-up, so if Stevie isn’t with them, they would play the idol and put their votes on the most likely to not have one in the other alliance, Gerry. But if Stevie is in, they will take the shot on George. Stevie rejoined the Spice Girls alliance and once again floated the idea of splitting the vote as each of them reminded him that there are not enough people and to do that. Unless Shonee can pull in a crab, that is.

Knowing Stevie was too much of a liability, George opted to appeal to Flick and asked her what she thinks the merge will look like when it is just the Heroes left. Which obviously led to him pointing out it may be better to work together to take control now and set up an easier path to the end. And while they agreed finding a compromise could be for the best, we didn’t learn what that compromise could be. Only if Flick proves willing to work with George, they will have a truce and if not, she will be the next one out.

At tribal council George explained that at the challenge he declared war on all the Heroes and as such, the OGs best have come prepared. Flick was obviously nervous, though admitted that given she has experience with George, she knows to take his grandiose statements in her stride. She spoke about everyone chatting with their allies at the challenge, as Shonee lol’ed about how obvious she is, while Stevie focused about just playing it straight tonight and going with the flow to make it to the merge. Ben admitted that he feels in trouble though that everyone really should be feeling that way, with George agreeing they really should, given Flick has an idol and is definitely planning to play it. Flick confirmed its existence and that if she guesses the right person to play it on, she and her allies should be sitting pretty. Though let’s just say, Matt is not feeling so confident about it. 

Flick admitted she knows she could be the one going home tonight if she makes a mistake and while George shared that he fears going out due to an idol, he would just rather work with Flick and go to the end together. Again. George then straight up offered to go have a chat in the corner and cut a deal, with Shonee and Stevie agreeing it makes sense for her to play it smart. George told Flick she should burn her idol to prove loyalty which she obviously opted against, given it puts her at way too much risk and as such, no deal was reached between the rivals. With that the tribe finally voted and Flick played what she thought was an idol for Matt as Ben looked on in disgust knowing it wasn’t one. After Jonathan confirmed it, he got to tallying the votes with three votes piling up on Gerry, followed by four on Ben, which were enough to tragically send my actual hero out of the game.

Like Jordie just yesterday, Ben found his way to Loser Lodge by following my enraged screams. I mean, first we could have lost Sam yesterday and TBH we could have lost Matt today as the only straight male that wasn’t working with Shonee. Instead, we lost my gracious inspiration, who forgave my years of stalking in desperation of gaining his talent by osmosis and came to Australian Survivor ready to play with charm, kindness and a little bit of drama (RIP, Sharni). Instead, he was cast out from the alphas – let’s just take a pause to read into that however you want – and never really got his footing in the game.

I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how heartbroken I was that he couldn’t win over Shonee and join the Villains to control the game post-merge. Because if there is one thing we can tell from watching thus far, it is that the Spice Girls are unmatched at this point and the alphas will soon be in trouble. In what I like to think is revenge for the way they treated the man that gave us the name Meat Tray alliance. Oh the other thing I am concerned about – though wisely didn’t tell Ben – is that doughnuts, like pizza, are a cursed food for reality contestants since Jordie’s were followed by a piping hot Benjamin Crullaw. So I think I may have cursed his chances, which just fucking sucks TBH.

These fancier cousins of doughnuts are the perfect way to honour my personal hero. Particularly since he kindly dropped the stalking charges to allow me to provide culinary comfort for the broader cast. Crunchy on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside, with a heavy coating of cinnamon sugar? Like any time I spend with Ben, I am in heaven.

Enjoy!

Benjamin Crullaw
Serves: 2 amazingly talented Ben’s who are destined for best friendship. Forever.

Ingredients
100g butter, cubed
250ml water
170g flour
3 eggs
sunflower oil, for frying
1 cup raw caster sugar
¼ cup ground cinnamon

Method
Combine butter and water in a large saucepan and bring to the boil. Once the butter has melted, add the flour and beat aggressively with a wooden spoon for a couple of minutes – this is like making profiteroles, ok? – or until it starts to come away from the sides.

Remove mixture from the heat and transfer to a stand mixture. Using a paddle attachment, beat the dough on medium, adding the eggs one at a time, waiting until the mixture has completely come together before adding the next egg. Spoon mixture into a piping bag with a 12mm star nozzle and pipe the dough into 8cm rings onto a lined baking sheet, pressing together at the ends to join.

While they rest a little, place about 10cm of oil in a large, deep saucepan and heat to 175C and combine the cinnamon and sugar in a bowl. Once at temperature, carefully add a couple of doughnuts and cook, turning a couple of times, for about 10 minutes, or until golden and browned. Remove and drain on a paper towel for a minute or so before tossing in the cinnamon sugar.

Repeat the process and then devour, like the besties you are.


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Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Baking, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribes were delighted to get a reprieve from challenges with the arrival of the auction, only to be gagged by a tribe swap. Venturing to the Heroes tribe, Shonee was heartbroken to be split up from Liz, though grateful that she at least still had George. After jagging an epic reward at the auction, George took the girls for a little party where Shonee found a second idol, though assured them she would be ready to hand it off to Liz if and when needed. Simon was nervous about being on the bottom of the new Villains, though sucked up to the alphas to win them over. Plus, he was in possession of what he thought was an idol. After the Heroes lost immunity the OGs planned to blindside George, only for George and Shonee to school them, wooing Gerry to their side and idoling out Paige. As God wanted.

The next day Shonee was blissfully napping away the morning, thrilled to be on top with George and close friends like Stevie and Gerry. And now that Paige is gone, she can eat all the crispy rice she wants and ugh, it is what our Queen deserves. Long may she reign.

We checked in with the Villains, where Simon was talking about how normal it feels to be moist. Which doesn’t add anything, but I love it because it sounds so suss. Liz meanwhile was heartbroken to be away from Shonee, breaking down in tears to us as she spoke about how lonely she feels. Particularly since the Heroes are clearly dominating the new tribe and she, Jordie and Simon are left out. The trio caught up with Simon checking if they had had any luck making friends before he suggested he will play the idol for one of them, should it be needed. Which Liz knows is a lie, given he is clearly too selfish and he refused to play one for Stevie just last week.

Back at the Heroes tribe George was just as radiant as Shonee, thrilled to have taken control and ready to eliminate the original Heroes one by one (by one). He caught up with Stevie to talk through the plan before Benjamin interrupted to see if he could join the chat. Ben admitted that the only reason George copped votes the night before is because they are intimidated by him but that now he would truly like to work with him. George then caught up with Shonee as Flick took her turn to pledge her undying loyalty, one upping Ben by suggesting she could even be a double agent to sweeten the deal. Oh and then closing out the pitches, Matt pulled George aside one on one, offering up all the information about his allies and how he could be of value to help the Villains take control come the merge.

And oh god, if Matt is telling the truth, go with him as I want to see how the Meat Tray takes the betrayal. Particularly Sam, as he will be salty.

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the reward challenge with Liz delighted to see Paige booted, while the OG Heroes were gutted. But more importantly, the challenge where in groups of four each tribe would race around a course in the shallows, carrying bags and chasing each other with the first tribe to catch the other scoring a point. And the first tribe to three getting a big Aussie breakfast. First up were Matt, Shonee, Ben and Flick versus Shaun, Hayley, Liz and Simon with Ben the first to drop out of the challenge, followed by Shonee, Hayley and Liz, with Shaun and Simon pissbolting to hunt Flick and Matt down, scoring the first point for Villains. Sam, Shaun, Jordie and David made quick work of Stevie, Gerry, Ben and George, but damn were they adorable. As were the original Heroes talking through the status quo on each tribe, while Liz and Shonee bitched about hating everyone before Shonee promised to hand her an idol should she need it. Oh and then the Villains won the third round with Simon and Sam quickly catching the Heroes.

Back at camp the Villains were thrilled to find a table laden with fruit, bread, eggs, bacon, hash browns, cheese and most importantly, coffee. And ugh, I am hungry just looking at it. Simon toasted them for being so strong before they downed the coffee and went absolutely wild. Well, except for Liz who quietly watched on thinking about how bland and annoying all the men are. Which was beautifully juxtaposed with Simon screaming and celebrating as he desperately tried to win friends. Given she is invisible on the tribe, she knew she could excuse herself without anyone noticing and got to work foraging through the jungle to find an idol. And hot damn, our girl did it. And as expected, not a soul noticed. And if they did, she could just say the coffee and eggs went right through her, no?

Upon returning to camp, Liz invited Jordie for a trip to hunt for wood where she quickly filled her only ally in on her hidden immunity idol with the duo thrilled to have hope amongst the chaos. Assuming they play the situation smartly, that is. They returned to camp with Liz filling him in on Shonee’s idol and that she is willing to hand it to them at a challenge should they need it. And well, Liz is ready to call in that favour and blindside one of the Heroes. Yes, come through Spice Girls!

Shaun meanwhile was heartbroken about Paige getting voted out, taking Sam for a walk to talk through how they make the most of their numbers advantage. Sam suggested they tell Simon they will take him to the merge if he hands off his idol and while Natalie Bolton and Cirie Fields can pull it off, Sam definitely can not, given he is not it. Plus, it isn’t an idol. Sam pulled Simon aside to tell him that he spoke to the guys and while they are friends, there is a caviar – his words – in that they need Simon to give him his idol before they agree to take him to merge. Simon wisely pledged his undying loyalty and assured him that he wants to go to the very end with them, not just merge. Oh but he would only be willing to hand the idol over to Shaun. As such, Simon and Shaun caught up by the well with Shaun doing a far better job sharing the plan, telling Simon he knows it is risky but he also knows that out of the three Villains, he is the one they want to protect.

Simon then pulled Shaun and Hayley aside, doubling down on the plan and suggesting they hand the idol across to Flick on the Heroes tribe so that she can play it to blindside George. And that he wants to get a message to Stevie so that he can help them move forward. Upon showing them his idol however, Hayley questioned if there was any paperwork and when he said it came with nothing, she wisely asked how he was sure it was an idol when it could be something else, like a nullifier. But sadly – or well, not – that was where the logic ended, as they laughed about how poetic it would be for Simon to send his idol to the other side to blindside his nemesis George, which will be a huge move. And again, lol.

Almost as lol as Simon botching his quote about living long enough to become a Hero and the producers trolling him by keeping it in.

The tribes came back together for the immunity challenge where they would race through a series of obstacles before chopping wood to release coconuts and then shooting coconuts at six targets, with the first tribe to finish jagging immunity. The Villains got out to an early lead, quickly releasing their sack of nuts – this time JLP’s words – while the Heroes desperately tried to close the gap. Nina hit the first target for the Villains before Matt finally started shooting for the Heroes. More importantly, Shonee and Liz just casually walked over to each other and started discussing how to hand off the idol. Nina knocked her second target as Matt took out the lead for Heroes as he smashed three, then four and five before ultimately jagging immunity for the tribe. 

After the challenge David and Flick hugged, talking through the non-idol hand off while Simon tried to talk to Stevie about trusting in Flick and to vote with her at their next tribal council. While Shonee calmly handed the idol to Jordie unnoticed before Shaun awkwardly passed the disc off to Flick. And oh god, I need the non-idol to blow up in someone’s face so badly. And now I’m not even sure who I want to be the victim.

Back at camp the tribe rallied around to process their loss, while Liz and Jordie couldn’t wipe the grins off their faces. Hayley meanwhile was confident about tribal given they have the numbers, pointing out to Simon and Shaun they should split the vote on Jordie and Liz and ultimately get rid of Jordie should no idols get played. The Heroes quickly locked in their plan, while Jordie and Liz laughed it up at the well, given they can derail whatever it is they are planning. Wanting to have more impact than a single moment, Jordie suggested they pull Hayley and Nina aside and show them the idols before making them pick which of the boys they want to send home. And then promptly not play the idols at all. Which obviously made Liz nervous, given she wasn’t sure they should trust them and instead just go the safe route of playing their idols.

They pulled Nina and Hayley aside with both of the girls shitting their pants, unable to name who they want to go before Liz narrowed it down to either Sam and Shaun. With Hayley first to lock in Sam, given he is so loyal it is hard to work with him, given if you upset him, he is done with you. Liz suggested this is the night to prove loyalty, before Jordie pointed out it isn’t a threat but if there is whispering at tribal council, he will gladly change the vote.

Backed into a corner, Hayley approached Shaun to ensure that should she and Nina have to work with the Villains, she hasn’t burnt everyone. The plan to take out Sam spread like wildfire, with everyone kind of accepting the fact Sam is screwed. David suggested they instead just vote out Simon, while Shaun reminded him he swore on his children’s life and as such, can not do that to Simon. And to be fair, Simon and Sam will both fill the same role in their alliance. Right on cue, Sam approached the group and both awkwardly and aggressively asked if something was wrong with David, Nina and Shaun just dancing around things as Mateship looked enraged.

Hayley meanwhile caught up with Simon to fill him in on the situation until she exited because he looked too shocked and to calm down. Jordie approached him and asked why he looked so rattled – lol – with Simon pretending to still be OG Villains strong and as such, all in on voting out Sam. Shaun, Nina and Hayley then caught up, with Nina cautioning that she truly believes they will play the idols and as such, if the Heroes just lock in the vote on Sam, there will be no surprises and they can make a move next time.

At tribal council Shaun spoke about how grateful he is that their new tribe is stacked, while Jordie turned the attention to the fact the OG Villains are well and truly outnumbered which Simon agreed made him nervous. Shaun wisely suggested that everyone really should be worried. Jordie spoke about how tight the Heroes tribe are known to be with Sam talking about how loyal the Heroes are, while they all looked ready to vom from the guilt. Jordie spoke about how today was an epic scramble as Nina motioned to Sam that Jordie and Liz both have idols. While Liz watched on as all the Heroes grew more and more paranoid. As Simon spoke about how nervous he now is, Liz filled Jordie in on the whispers happening while Hayley reiterated the Heroes needed to stay strong, before Sam suggested that if the Villains have an idol, they should be nervous.

As Simon spoke about being rattled, Shaun told Nina that she and Hayley should still vote Sam while he, Simon and David switch back to voting for Jordie so that should the idol be played, Sam goes home, otherwise they can get rid of Jordie on the revote. Jordie admitted it feels like it could be his last tribal council tonight, with everyone agreeing they feel just as nervous. Liz admitted she is stressed, but that you need to risk it for the biscuit while Hayley wanted people to walk away from tribal council with some clarity about who they want to work with, while Jordie wanted everyone to leave knowing this is how you play the game.

With that the tribe voted and tragically neither Jordie or Liz played their idols, resulting in a tie between Jordie and Sam. Which on the revote, led to the Heroes eliminating Jordie, leaving Liz all alone. As is often the case, Jordie found his way to Loser Lodge by following the wailing sounds of my screams when I found out he came so close to not just breaking up the Heroes but also sending Sam, the worst person to ever play Survivor in the global franchise, home. Sadly though, he took the gamble of holding onto his idol to navigate through to the merge and while it cost him his game, I am impressed with the logic behind it, given he knew he was screwed if he couldn’t leverage an alliance.

I pulled him in for a massive hug, congratulating him and Sam on their pregnancy and thanking him for being such a damn delight this season. I mean, while Jordie was balls deep in an all male alliance last year, this year he channelled Erika Jayne, ready to give the gays (and girls) what they want, working with Shiz and George while gloriously mocking the Meat Tray. I told him I was proud of how grounded and fun his energy was and assured him that when it comes to his third time, he is poised for another deep run. And until then, he always has Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora.

These Portuguese pumpkin donuts – aka Sonhos de abobora – are positively delightful. Earthy, spiced and oh so sweet, the crisp shell gives way to a pillowy little cake that will have you coming back for more and more.

Enjoy!

Jordie Hansenhos de Abobora
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
250g butternut pumpkin, peeled and diced
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
80g butter, melted and cooled
¼ cup brandy
2 tbsp dried yeast
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 eggs, lightly whisked
2 ⅓ cups flour, sieved
½ tsp kosher salt
2 tbsp warm water
vegetable oil, for fryin’
2 tbsp ground cinnamon

Method
Steam the pumpkin for 10 minutes or until nice and soft. Remove from the heat to cool and then blitz in a food processor until nice and smooth. Transfer to a bowl.

Whisk half a cup of sugar, the butter, brandy, yeast and vanilla into the pumpkin until well combined. Set aside for 5 minutes and leave to prove. Whisk in the egg before folding through the flour and water to form a thick dough. Cover, set aside and leave to prove for another half an hour, or until doubled in size.

Heat about 15cm of oil in a large saucepan until it hits 160C and mix the remaining sugar with the cinnamon. Cook spoonfuls of dough a few at a time for about 3 minutes, or until golden and cooked through. Transfer to a paper towel to drain for a minute before tossing through the cinnamon sugar. Repeat the process until all cooked, then devour with glee. Ideally with some Dulce de Nick Lachey.


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Paige Donarred Greens

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Stevie was grateful for Shiz saving him in the most chaotic tribal council of the season, while Jordie was left right out on the Villains. Though with Shiz secretly vowing to have his back. While Simon was Simon. Shonee meanwhile casually found herself a new piece of bling in the form of an idol, wisely keeping it a secret from even her closest of allies. At the immunity challenge George and Simon aired their dirty laundry to the Heroes before Shiz single handedly scored them immunity. Back at the Heroes, Gerry was fired up and ready to call them out for the way they handled sending him to the Villains, while Ben quickly realised it was him or Gerry going home. After finding the cookie non-idol, Ben used it as a clue to finding another idol on the Heroes beach, which he ultimately used to save himself, as he stitched up Sharni and swiftly got her booted from the game.

In no small part thanks to Paige’s lie that Sharni dropped the block, but whatevs, I’m not bitter.

Letting us know we’re in for a big episode, the tribes immediately joined with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle where they were delighted to discover an auction awaiting them. Psych, it wasn’t an auction though, as Jonathan unveiled the first covered item, new buffs, meaning they are finally switching! One by one they went up to select their new buffs with Nina going to the Villains, Ben sticking with the Heroes, Sam going to the Villains, Gerry sticking with the Heroes, alongside ally George before Liz found herself isolated on the Villains, as Shonee also landed on the Heroes. David added more beef to the Villains, alongside Shaun and Simon before Matt stuck with Heroes, Hayley went to Villains, Stevie went to Heroes and Jordie stuck with the Villains. Alongside his nemesis Simon and all his new alpha bros. While Flick and Paige were stuck on the Heroes tribe.

And while everyone laughed about the meat tray all landing together, George hilariously reminded them that meat heads normally suck at Survivor and as such, he isn’t concerned with the idiots. Basically.

But turns out, there was actually an auction too with each tribe getting $2500, with max bids set at $500. The catch being, the money would be shared amongst the tribe meaning some could win big and others end up with nothing. George quickly worked out that everyone then had $320 to spend, with Liz winning the first item, a cheeseburger and beer for $320. Ben jumped straight to $320 on a covered item which led Sam to jump to $360 for what he assumed was an advantage, but ultimately ended up being chocolate. Which honestly, I think makes more sense for him than a note. The next item was a scroll with Ben jumping straight up to $400 as Paige, shock horror, started to bitch to George about needing to vote Ben out ASAP. Oh and the scroll meant he scored an onion and while everyone laughed, Paige – again, shock – looked sour.

Paige then bid $400 on spag bol and red wine – I guess we can all go over $320 now – before Shaun bought it for $500. Flick then bought tacos and margs for $480 before Liz and Paige went into bat for Jordie and Matt bidding on a call from home, given they are both expecting children. While Jordie sweetly tried to step back and let Matt take the call for $200, Matt just as sweetly pointed out he is up to date with the scans and knows the baby is good and as such Jordie can have it to get his update as the two both burst into tears. As did I. While Paige told Matt he is such a good bloke. As Jordie spoke to Sam, he learnt they got the all clear from the doctors AND they found out they are having a boy and ugh, watching everyone cheer for him was so damn wholesome. As was him sobbing about how much he misses her. 

Matt tried to assure him he was crying happy tears for him which honestly broke me even more before George spent $320 on a covered item, which turned out to be a pass as the guest of Honour at a Survivor afternoon party with two of his friends. And while Ben tried to remind him it is a social game, he was loyal and stuck with Shiz as Paige, once again, looked saltier than the dead sea. While Jordie and Simon cautioned everyone that was a dangerous reward, particularly for someone like George.

The Spice Girls arrived at their epic reward, ready to devour everything in sight – including some leftover Sharlami Vinson, FYI – before George learnt he had just won $60,000 from Set for Life. They debated whether they should be checking for an advantage, with them agreeing to just wait until the end before Shonee straight up found an idol while smashing a party pie. Making it two in two episodes. Liz turned the talk to their new tribes, with George sharing that Flick told them Ben can’t be trusted while Liz was confident in all the strength she had on the new Villains, but knew that should they lose, she will be first on the chopping black. With Shonee assuring her that she will hand off the idol if she does lose an immunity. Since she should probs keep it as new Heroes is super weak comparatively and more likely to attend all the premerge tribal councils.

Back at the Heroes camp, Paige told Stevie that everyone helps out around at their camp before reiterating to Flick how much she wants to get rid of Ben ASAP. Given he allegedly twisted her words the previous night, which he didn’t. He told Flick that while she doesn’t trust George, she feels she could at least work with him for a couple of rounds, knowing they’ve split up the chance that he and Ben could potentially align. While Ben quietly worked nearby and oh god, I hope he heard. Also, as an aside, does it feel like a lot of the hate towards Ben comes from a place of casual homophobia? Because it is starting to feel like it. Though to be fair, I am super sensitive about that and may be finding reasons why my hero keeps getting called shady.

We checked in with the new Villains tribe where Hayley was thrilled by their surroundings, while Simon was more focused on how stacked their tribe is and thrilled to finally put an end to his losing streak. Knowing he no longer is the only person carrying the tribe through every challenge. Simon caught up with Shaun to fangirl over him, before Shaun admitted that he plans to use the Jeremy Collins meat shield strategy as Simon desperately tried to get pulled in. They returned to camp with Jordie overhearing him suck up and as such, he decided the only way to survive this mess is to blend in as best as possible, talking footy and copying Shauns’s fashion choices. And ugh, I love Jordie so much as this is hilarious, knowing he is quietly mocking them. Despite how well Simon was trying, the Heroes were still focused on sticking together with Shaun, Hayley, Nina and David locking in a plan to flush Simon’s idol ASAP and then pick off the original Villains. Because yeah, they can all see how desperately Simon was trying to win their love.

The new tribes reconnected for an epic immunity challenge where they would race to transport a tribe member locked in a cage through a tunnel, then a gate, up a huge ramp and then down into a pool before they unlocked said member and two people solved a puzzle. Because duh. Shonee and Hayley took their places in the cages, with the former loving the chance to have a little R&R during the challenge. Obviously the Villains got out to an early, massive lead, unlocking Hayley before the Heroes even made it to the ramp. Hayley and Nina got to work on the puzzle as Stevie cheered his tribe on before finally getting the chance to free Shonee and starting on the puzzle with George. A full circle moment, and I love it. While Hayley and Nina calmly worked through the colours, George started to bicker with Stevie about messing up his work. While Ben looked frustrated to be shut out of the puzzle before subbing out with George. That made the challenge exciting as the Heroes closed the gap as Hayley and Nina madly finished the puzzle and just snatched immunity for the Villains.

As the tribes hugged it out, David told Paige not to trust George whatever she does – like duh, is that really the most important message to share – which made her change her mind about targeting Ben as soon as she returned to camp. Well, after yelling at Stevie for trying to debrief too early and then yelling at everyone to get to work on fire and making some rice. Thankfully George is wise and instead got to work scrambling and locking in a plan of his own. Flick tried to lock him and Shonee in on a plan to get rid of Ben, floating that afterwards, they could align with Paige and Matt to run the tribe. Once Shonee and George were left alone, they laughed about how easy her plan would be to derail, given they are not going to just do what the OG Heroes want and instead will work with Gerry to get rid of one of the originals. And after finding God, they locked in Paige as their target given life is for living.

With that George and Shonee got to locking in a new majority, first pulling in Stevie to get rid of Paige and assured him that under no circumstances are they to tell Flick, Matt, Paige or Ben. George then floated the idea with Gerry, who was also very much on board given he wanted to mix things up. And admitted Paige can be hard work.

After locking in the 4-3-1 vote – given Ben’s is irrelevant at this point – and filling me with joy, Paige decided to ruin everything and pulled Flick and Matt aside to talk about getting rid of George instead, given the meat heads are too scared of him making the merge and told her to do it. Flick wisely cautioned them that they need to decide whether it is better to stay hero strong, or to get rid of Ben. Right on cue, Ben arrived who assured them all that the OG Heroes would be so proud of them if they managed to get rid of George. While Paige once again acted like Ben has given any reason not to trust him. He then pointed out that they need to try and woo Gerry to their side if they want it to work, with Ben offering to do it while Flick wisely suggested they should all try, given he hasn’t exactly felt the love from the original Heroes tribe. 

Up first, Ben pointed out that he and Gerry were both kind of on the bottom of the OG Heroes and as such, they need to make a decision that would save them in the long run. Gerry the icon told him he wasn’t willing to commit to anything yet, before all the Heroes obviously pulled him aside to take their shot. While Shonee quietly watched on as it all unfolded. Feeling confident, Paige went off to relax, while Shonee decided to act on the nervous energy; pulling George aside to warn him that something is afoot as the Heroes hung out, gleefully talking about taking out the King as Shonee assured us that while she doesn’t want to play the idol, if that is what it takes, she will.

At tribal council George and Shonee joked about being frequent flyers while Paige spoke about how it was too soon to deem any of the newbies heroic. Eyeroll. George spoke about this tribal council drawing a line in the sand and letting people know where they stand. Paige said that she doesn’t focus on goals when voting, given they all have the same – I mean, duh, but also WHAT? – while Flick spoke about how scary tribal council always is. Shonee brought some intelligent strategy to the table, telling JLP that if you have enough conversations, you can build trust and prove that you can add value to people’s games long term and meet those goals. Gerry meanwhile spoke about having loyalty to people, but he doesn’t know if he has it from others. And while trust takes forever to build, it can break just as quickly.

George felt like Gerry should be able to trust him and he hopes they are still friends, while Paige started whispering to Flick that she is sure they can get George out. Shonee meanwhile admitted she isn’t feeling as confident as George, while Matt spoke about being very nervous given the OG Heroes were whispering. Paige had a big shit eating grin talking about how confident she is that her conversations from the afternoon will hold firm. George meanwhile wanted tonight’s vote to bring a group of people together that will be able to run the game and make it to the end. Like a shared goal, even.

With that the tribe voted, Shonee wisely opted to play one of her idols on George as Paige looked ready to shit her pants, realising that her genius plan didn’t exactly account for an idol. As four votes piled up on George the cocky Heroes grew less and less confident as the rest came in on Paige, sending her out of the game in tears of rage. And ugh, it was GLORIOUS. As was Flick congratulating them as Shonee reminded her that the whispering tipped her off, given this is not her first rodeo.

Paige was still rather annoyed by the time she arrived at Loser Lodge and despite myself, I told her to hold her head high and be proud of the game she played. While her confidence and the paranoia of the game turned her quite bossy in the last few episodes, she started off strong, building a lot of trust with her allies and firmly placing her in the Heroes majority. Sadly though she was undone by two of the best at the game in George and Shonee, meaning she had to settle for some pre-merge comfort in the form of Paige Donarred Greens.

Given the off-screen drama that fueled Rogue to hate on Paige so much, it was kinda poetic that both of them ended up with vegetarian dishes. But when they taste as good and wholesome as this, it is hard to pass up. A little spicy with a hint of tang, this is the perfect side for a Sunday roast. Of ethically farmed meat, obvi.

Enjoy!

Paige Donarred Greens
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
6 cups collard greens (aka borekale), washed and dried, removed from the main stems and bruised
2 bay leaves
1L chicken stock
¼ cup lemon juice
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place the oil in a large pot over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about ten minutes or so, or until sweet and tender. Add the bay leaves and cook for another minute or so.

Slice the greens into 3cm thick ribbons and add to the pot along with the stock, juice, sugar and chilli. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently, for about  an hour or until the greens are gloriously soft and the liquid reduced. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper before devouring with your favourite roast. 

Or on its own, whatever.


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Cranbura Maygarita

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the girls were tasked with forming a trio of girl groups. But once again, there was a twist on the classic challenge, as this time they were Golden Girl Groups. Each band would tackle a different genre, which of course led to an epic argument between two teams who both felt metal would be the funniest with their old make-up. Which meant Mistress and Luxx got into an epic fight with Malaysia (and kinda Sasha), before rock paper scissors handed metal to the latter team, leading to a breakout moment from Aura who won the challenge. Meanwhile the peaceful R&B team were far and away the weakest, leading to Jax and Robin landing in the bottom with our hair-skipping icon slaying the lip sync and sending sweet Robin out the door.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost sweet Robin, before talk turned to the challenge with Mistress admitting to being shocked that her entire team was not in the top. Being a messy icon, she mentioned that someone told her that Malaysia was heated in Untucked about what happened when they fought over genres. Malaysia stayed quiet and simply said that she said what she said, while Mistress admitted that she didn’t exactly realise they were being serious, which is why she was laughing not because she disrespects her. While Sasha and her talked it out, Malaysia continued to sulk in the corner, refusing to engage with Mistress once again laughing, which only made Malaysia even more angry. And well, the dolls are fighting.

The next day the tensions appeared to have dissipated and instead everyone was just now awkward, while Mistress just continued to smirk like an icon. Before she and Malaysia could get into it again, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the reboot of the Daytona Wind. And while I love that for them, I don’t know how fun it will be if they know the farts are coming. Oh and this time, it will be a sitcom AND since Aura won the last challenge, she would cast the whole damn thing.

The lead character of Fancy was a big bold role, and as such, everyone put their hand up for it until Aura said she wanted it given she has never been campy. And Anetra? Well, she just wanted metal. Because she is a chill icon. Thankfully everyone followed her lead and gladly took the rest of the roles and split up to read through their scripts, with Mistress and Malaysia soon learning that they would be scene partners for most of the damn. Though given they are both strong actresses it should be fine, particularly since Aura was clearly struggling with Fancy. To the point where Mistress wisely pointed out it was a bomb and offered to switch out for the big, starring role. Like a shrewd icon.

The dolls met up with Ru on set where Loosey was a star from start to finish, Spice was hilariously ridiculous – so, Spice – while Malaysia lived for slamming doors in Mistress’ face, while she absolutely ate. Though to be fair, so did Mistress. Jax meanwhile was at a 7, which allowed Mistress to add some killer ad libs as she and Malaysia bounced off each other perfectly. Aura meanwhile was just, not good, while Big Daddy gagged the girls with the fact he is alive. But sadly, we don’t know who is playing him. Yet. But it definitely does not sound like Carson.

Elimination Day arrived with Malaysia and Mistress coming together to clear the air as they beat their mugs. As everyone obviously watched on out of the corners of their eyes. But it all ended well as they copped to what they did wrong, apologising and well, it was lovely and I love that for them. 

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the judges panel alongside our favourite familiar, Harvey Guillen as Loosey kicked off the Puffer Please runway looking like a sexy marshmallow. Spice gave snow bimbo, Sasha oozed sex in yellow and black stripes, Luxx gave Jackie O does the Jetsons, Malaysia was a gorgeous lemon, Aura was perfection in a kimono while Jax was a glorious bee. Mistress was a sexy beach puff, Anetra was the sluttiest bird while Marcia was hilariously frostbitten in a puffer bikini while Salina looked glorious, yet very Salina.

When it came to The Daytona Wind Loosey was hilarious and perfect as the maid, Spice was Spice, Sasha and Luxx made a glorious couple, while Malaysia knocked it out of the park andMistress was perfection from start to finish. And well, they bounced off each other so well. Marcia was so much fun as a nerd as Anetra gave perfect timing, while Salina was gloriously camp. At the other end of the pack, Jax and Aura were kinda just there or worse, boring. More importantly, Danny mother tucking Trejo played the very undead Big Daddy and ugh, it was perfection.

Loosey, Sasha, Luxx and Salina were sent to safety before Spice was read for being one note in the performance and for always doing the same thing on the runway. Since it is boring Michelle. Malaysia received universal praise for her performance and looking gorgeous on the runway. Aura was praised for her runway though was obviously read for giving nothing in the challenge, while Jax was read for giving even less. Mistress too received universal praise in the performance and for giving something different on the runway, while Anetra was praised for her chemistry with Marcia and for slaying the runway. While Marcia too was beloved, despite still needing to drag up her looks even further. Despite the judges acknowledging that she already had grown immensely.

Backstage the dolls were glad to get another week in the competition, but Loosey and Salina were kinda pressed about being safe again. Which Sasha obviously felt was bratty. We then got a little extra time with Danny Trejo and ugh, he is the best and I love him. Sasha was proud to be serving her classic brand on the runway, while Salina explained her backpack vibe and everyone read Loosey for serving Donald Duck. Which I can not unsee. Oh and then she went back to bitching about missing out on a spot in the top. Talk eventually turned to the challenge as the girls questioned how Mistress managed to sneak out the biggest role from under Aura. Before Luxx said what we were all thinking, pointing out that Aura likely would have struggled with any role. 

The tops and bottoms returned with Aura letting them know she is definitely lip syncing, while Spice and Jax were battling it out for the final spot. Mistress meanwhile tried to downplay how much Ru loved her, while Anetra and Marcia spoke about how the judges couldn’t split them as a duo, and Malaysia was thrilled to finally get all of the judges’ love. Loosey then pulled attention back to her, sharing how upset she was to not land in the top while the safe girls rolled their eyes. Mistress meanwhile pointed out that maybe her runway let her down, which obviously upset her more while Marcia tried to remind her that they probably expected her to do well and as such, the bar was just set higher for her.

Oh and then Harvey dropped by to kiki with the dolls and ugh, he is so damn cute and lovely and I love him. And need a pep talk from him, ASAP.

Ultimately Jax was sent straight to the bottom two before Malaysia was sent to safety, therefore handing Mistress her first win of the season. Anetra and Marcia were deemed safe before Spice narrowly joined them – hilariously doing her runway shtick one last time, much to Michelle and Ru’s rage – leaving Aura to battle it out with Jax. And while both of them came out guns blazing as soon as Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa’s Sweetest Pie kicked off, it was clear that Jax is not someone you want to face off against. As she hit every lyric and served tricks and stunts before once again saving herself, leaving Aura to join the infamous win to elim club. Giving us an iconic exit line – my dead Dad will haunt you all – on the way out.

Backstage Aura was obviously disappointed to be exiting the competition so soon, though was grateful to at least get a win under her belt before her departure. I pulled her in for a massive hug – because duh, she is the trade of the season – and assured her that joining the win to elim club puts her in a spectacular group of queens and she is nearly guaranteed a return because of it. You know, on account of the whole, better to be eliminated too soon than overstay your welcome, thing. Plus, being the trade, the fandom will always remember you fondly. Almost as fondly as the taste of a Cranbura Maygarita.

Everyone loves a good margie but add in some festive spice of a little cranberry and well, you’re in heaven. Still packing the zing and freshness of the usual marg, this variation adds to the tartness to really make it sing. In all the right ways.

Enjoy!

Cranbura Maygarita
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4-8 lime wedges, for garnish and rimming glasses 
¼ cup kosher salt 
1 cup cranberry juice 
⅓ cup tequila 
¼ cup fresh lime juice 
¼ cup triple sec 
ice, to serve
½ cup cranberries, muddled

Method
Rub the edges of four margarita glasses with lime juice and dip into the salt to coat the rim.

Pop the cranberry juice, tequila, lime juice, triple sec and ice in a large cocktail shaker and shake until well combined.

Divide the muddled cranberries between the glasses, followed by the margs and then garnish with a lime. Before downing, with glee.


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Sharlami Vinson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor we witnessed a tribal council so epic, I don’t even understand how we attack recapping it. Before we got to that point, Gerry survived his 48 hours at the Villains tribe before opting to return to the Heroes, despite not really vibing with them. The Villains then went on to lose another immunity challenge with Simon locking in the numbers to get rid of George as soon as they returned to camp. Sadly for him, Jordie was ready to make a move on Simon and get rid of him and his attitude, given it was way too toxic for most of the tribe. While everything looked set to send Simon out of the game with an (alleged) idol in his pocket, JLP surprised everyone with an individual immunity challenge at tribal council, which Simon promptly won. With his back against the wall, George blew everything up, telling Simon that Jordie had betrayed him and told everyone about his idol, while he would be playing his idol for himself. He then fractured Simon and Stevie’s bond, begging Simon to save sweet Stevie by playing his idol for him, and after breaking Stevie’s heart by refusing, the Spice Girls gagged the tribe by voting out Fraser instead.

The next day things were, how do you say, tense? Except for Stevie and Shiz, as he pulled the girls aside to share how grateful he is to them for saving him as he broke down in tears and ugh, it was beautiful. And what a full circle moment, since Shonee blindsided him their first season and he spent the first week hungry for revenge. 

Everyone came back together, hanging out in silence before Simon felt slapping Jordie over the back of the head was the best way to de-escalate the tension. Jordie once again proved to be mature, biting his tongue before Simon finally asked him to talk and then promptly berated Jordie for making the choices he made. While all Jordie knew was that he was absolutely screwed, though given he has Alex’s sister/Jay’s ex Sam Frost waiting for him at home, pregnant with their first child he has all the motivation he needs to dig deep and embrace the chaos. As such, Jordie caught up with Shiz by the well to bond over the trauma of tribal council while Shonee admitted that they need to work together because she actually trusts him.

Oh and then our Queen straight up pocketed a hidden immunity idol without a note or anyone noticing, despite it being right in front of all of them.

We did a check in with the Heroes where the tribe was so zen, they were straight up playing cricket and living their best lives. Gerry however wasn’t loving it, admitting that he only came back to the tribe for Sharni given they are so tight, however he knows he feels better among the Villains. The tribe caught up to grill him and while they were trying to be chill, Paige grew pretty tense in her line of questioning and as such, Gerry let slip that while he is with them, if they cross him, he will fight back. He then called out Sam for his stupid comment at tribal before Benjamin asked him why he voted for him, with Gerry pointing out he has a silver tongue. Which led to Ben asking him what, if anything, he told the Villains with Gerry iconically pointing out he didn’t really need to say anything, given the Villains cantell the alphas are on the top.

Benjamin admitted that he was grateful for Gerry pointing it out, given it clarified a few things in his head and ideally some others. Since he knows he is on the bottom, and wants to get himself into a better position. As he was whipping up food for the tribe, he found the Heroes version of Simon’s non-idol and while he was smart enough to realise that without a note, he has nothing, he viewed it as a clue and got to work hunting. All around the coconut hidden near their well. And damn, please find it my King – I need mum and dad to both jag idols in the one episode.

The tribes joined Jonathan in the jungle for the latest immunity challenge where Simon and George aired their dirty laundry for the Heroes. After George finished things by letting them know Simon still has an idol, JLP announced that in pairs the tribes would hold three blocks off the ground between their feet with the last tribe to have a block elevated taking out the win. So yeah, congrats Villains, Shonee has you! But if you want to talk about the challenge, David and Sam, Sharni and Paige and Ben and Gerry held up the blocks for the Heroes, while Jordie and Simon were paired, as were George and Stevie while Shiz were clearly poised to be the winning pair. 

Nearly instantly Gerry dropped out for the Heroes while Simon fought back tears as he dropped after ten minutes. George and Stevie soon followed, leaving Shiz to fight for their safety while the Heroes had two pairs going strong. And by strong, not really as Sam dropped leaving Sharni and Paige to fight for the Heroes. After an hour Paige developed a cramp and started to hold back tears as Shonee calmly told Liz to keep it together. JLP noticed our Queen was holding firm, asking how she went last time she did this challenge with Shonee pointing out she did two hours and she could easily do it again. Not that she needed to, as Sharni and Paige dropped after an hour as Liz told the Heroes they have plenty of excess meat they can cut off. Before she and Shonee held the idol arm in arm and skipped out of the jungle. 

While in contrast, Paige bitterly whispered to anyone that would listen about it being Sharni that dropped the block, not her. And who cares, you lost?

Back at camp Flick tried to lift everyone’s spirits, congratulating them on fighting so hard while Sharni agreed that when pain comes into it, it is all mental. Everyone split up to start scrambling, with Paige’s approach being to burst into tears to Nina, Flick and Hayley. And while they all tried to make her feel better, they also didn’t care who dropped the block, just that they were going to tribal council. The meat heads meanwhile quickly locked in the vote for the only queer, minority male on the tribe with Sam pretending it is because he is shifty. Which, ugh. They then loudly – and TBH, aggressively – pulled Gerry over, with Sam essentially telling him that he has to vote with them given he is close to the bottom. They locked in Sharni too, though warned her Gerry could be collateral damage should Ben play an idol. While they looped in the rest of the girls on the plan, Sam was shockingly astute enough to be nervous that said plan could easily fall apart.

Hayley caught up with Shaun only to be interrupted by Ben and while they pretended they were keen to get rid of Gerry, Ben knew he was in trouble and got back to hunting. Before finally, FINALLY, jagged the legit hidden immunity idol. And just like that, I can breathe. Sadly for him, it was all caught by Matt. Who immediately took the information back to Sam. Which, eyeroll. The duo then went person to person, telling them this means they should stick to the plan. Sadly when the information got back to Sharni, she only just learnt that it was a confirmed split vote on Gerry and as such, was not on board. Knowing he didn’t exactly want to burn the idol too soon, Ben caught up with Paige, who once again accused Sharni of throwing the immunity challenge. And as such, Ben had some leverage he felt he could use that night.

At tribal council Paige continued to push the narrative that she didn’t drop the block as Sharni started to straight up shoot her daggers while Flick cautioned Paige to hold her tongue. While Sharni calmly spoke about being super comfortable in the challenge, she then pointed out that Paige is playing a blame game when they should have celebrated the fact they made it an hour. While Paige denied blaming Sharni, Ben spoke up and called Paige on her lie and that she straight up accused Sharni of throwing the challenge. When she once again denied it, Ben got up to talk to the returnee females to tell them Paige was right and that they should change the vote from him to Sharni instead. He then flagged it with Shaun, while Sharni spoke about her disappointment about how things are blowing up on her.

Gerry spoke about feeling like he hasn’t had much luck with the Heroes, while Sharni spoke about the fact she has been nothing but honest with everyone and has been upfront about the fact she won’t write Gerry’s name down. Benjamin then pointed out that it is important that honesty and loyalty doesn’t make them naive before making a pitch to the tribe that they are now coming up to an important phase of the game and as such, they need hardened players around to survive further. Meaning this honest, loyal game isn’t really going to serve them any longer.

With that the tribe voted, Ben wisely played his idol – to mine and Hayley’s delight – leaving Sharni to tragically be eliminated. Much to Paige’s shit eating grin and my utter heartbreak for mother. As soon as she arrived at Loser Lodge I pulled her in for a massive hug and shared how disappointed I was that she and Ben ended up on opposite sides of the vote, given Paige would have been such a lovely pre-swap boot. But alas, she always has her successful acting career which I see prospering after she joins the latest Neighbours reboot. Alongside me, of course! Which is what I pitched to her as we smashed a freshly made Sharlami Vinson.

I know, I know – making salami from scratch is a big ask, when it is so easy to buy from the deli. But it is something I encourage everyone to try at least once in their life for a special occasion like a date with Sharns. Spicy, smokey and packed full of flavour, this simple little number is a delight.

Enjoy!

Sharlami Vinson
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 tbsp Morton’s Tender Quick Meat Cure
2 tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp black pepper, ground
2 tsp mustard seed, ground
1 tsp chilli powder
3 drops liquid smoke
2kg beef mince

Method
Combine the Morton Cure and salt with two tablespoons of water to dissolve before adding the pepper, mustard seed, chilli and smoke.

In a large bowl, combine the mince with the spicy cure mixture and scrunch with your hands until it has come together.

Pop two long pieces of cling film on the bench and form the meat into a firmly packed cylinder in the middle of each. Tightly wrap with the cling to form a salami shape. Wrap the cylinders in foil before transferring to the fridge to chill for 24 hours to cure.

Once it has adequately cured, preheat the oven to 160C.

Carefully remove the salami from the wrapped and place on a lined baking sheet. Transfer to the oven to bake for about an hour, or until cooked through. Then either allow to cool completely or devour it still warm.


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Frasausage Melack

Keeping it Kardashian Khristmas, Main, Sandwich, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry joined the Villains as a spy, though after being welcomed so warmly, he embraced his new tribe and well, rose to the top with George and Shiz. After the Heroes narrowly took out immunity – thanks to Benjamin and Paige slaying with some signing to stealthily solve the puzzle – Simon was ready to finally take the shot on George, given he has an immunity idol – lol – and a group of allies behind him to seize power. Sadly, Shonee realised she, Liz and George couldn’t trust Sarah and as such, whipped everyone into a frenzy to take out the swing vote instead of taking a shot, Sarah, who definitely didn’t push Miss Greece down the stairs.

The next day the Heroes were talking about how small their tribe feels without Gerry, while Sharni in particular was still annoyed at how things played out. Despite Sharni loving the idea of playing with loyalty, I live for how annoyed she is at the tribe. Realising she was annoyed, Sam checked in with her with Sharni talking about how desperately she was hoping Gerry survived, knowing it spoke to how strong a game he can play. And how kind he is.

Speaking of Gerry, he was living his best life at the Villains camp, smashing some rice in awe of the waves on their beach. And TBH, he did not really want to go back to his old tribe anymore, given they are so kind and he just clicked with Shonee, Liz and George. This glorious foursome were hunting for wood as Gerry grew more and more nervous about returning to the Heroes, given they stitched him up. Despite the initial purpose being to get goss for the Heroes, he pointed out to his new besties – he is Old Spice in the alliance, FYI – that Simon needs to go ASAP as if he makes the swap, he will immediately align with the alphas running the Heroes and as such, he is down to get rid of him. Though sadly George spoke about it in front of Simon.

As Simon prepared to go for a swim, he could barely hide his disdain for George who was trying to make conversation. As he was chilling out, Liz called his bestie Jordie over to point out what happened, with him realising that his ally is getting way too toxic for the tribe. And that night under the cover of darkness, Jordie and George caught up about how to navigate the escalating tensions, while Jordie shared with us that now just might be the time to play Simon and George off against each other and give the rest of them a break.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where the Heroes were delighted to see Gerry had survived the previous tribal council. Well, until JLP got cheeky and offered him the choice between sticking with the Villains and returning to the Heroes in which case they got super awkward, until he opted to return to them. While the Villains were left reeling, Jonathan explained that to win immunity they would face off in trios to push a ball into a goal in the water with the first tribe to two securing victory. First up were Shiz and Simon opposite Flick, Hayley and Shaun, with the Heroes obviously taking out the first point, despite some heroic fighting from Shonee. As George whispered from the sidelines that Simon’s desire to face Shaun is hurting their chances. Jordie, Fraser and George then faced off against Sam, David and Matt with the Heroes quickly scoring immunity despite some epic fighting from George. As Stevie muttered about getting rid of George on the sidelines.

Back at camp the tribe spoke about how disappointed they were to lose Gerry before everything descended into absolute chaos. Simon’s faction were thrilled to be able to take out their biggest nemesis, George. With Simon feeling particularly confident, given he has the idol – he doesn’t – and a loyal bestie in Jordie – debatable. He caught up with Stevie who was thrilled to jump on board getting rid of George while Simon coached him on how to sell his desire to get rid of him to Shiz and George. After thanking Stevie for protecting him after all he has done to protect him, Stevie came up with some codes before they split up to scramble. Stevie went to George to tell him how he is over Simon bossing him around, while Simon caught up with Shiz who questioned why George and Stevie were even talking.

Jordie meanwhile continued to question what is the best path forward given Simon is abrasive and rubbing everyone the wrong way. He approached Fraser and outlined everything, telling him that they now have a decision to make. Ready to lock in with George and Shiz – knowing that joining the alpha alliance would be his undoing – Jordie told them about Simon’s idol, telling them they need to make sure he has no clue about the vote to guarantee he doesn’t play it. After getting Fraser over the line, the group locked in their plan as Liz worried about Simon crying once he is blindsided with an idol. Again. Feeling uber confident, Simon then caught up with George to assure him that he knows they need each other and that Stevie will be going home tonight.

While Shiz spoke about how much they are looking forward to Simon going home.

At tribal council George spoke about how disappointed he was that Gerry left them, despite the Heroes voting him out previously. That being said, he accepts the fact he felt safer amongst a tribe of athletes that consistently win challenges. Which obviously annoyed Simon. As George spoke about wanting to focus on getting rid of the weak, Simon angrily told him he can’t exactly vote for himself, while George calmly thanked him for calling him weak. Liz spoke about being sick of the tension, while Stevie felt something needed to be done while Jordie cautioned everyone needed to come together otherwise they will all be screwed. George meanwhile spoke about how much he achieved in his first seasons and as such, he doesn’t feel like he needs to build a legacy because he already has one while not every returnee can say that.

Growing more irate, Simon sassed out George, asking why he doesn’t want to win, rubbing salt in his wounds for Hayley beating him. Jordie grew more and more exasperated, assuring everyone to trust in the last conversations they had, with Shonee agreeing it was for the best. As they seemingly tried to wrap things up, JLP decided to throw a spanner in the works, announcing that tonight’s tribal council will be a little different as while they are still booting someone from the game, it won’t happen until after they have competed in a little individual immunity challenge.

With that Jonathan and the Villains relocated to a field outside tribal council  where they would each race to build poles long enough to release a flint from a post before building a fire big enough to burn through a rope. Simon quickly built his pole, though failed to release his flint as he and George started to bicker. While quietly working away, Shonee made her first attempt before failing as Simon tried again and jagged his flint. As George and Shiz looked ready to murder him, Liz quietly cheered on Jordie, willing him to close the gap and keep the plan from falling apart. Though it was all for nothing as Simon built a large fire and jagged immunity, while George turned his attention to scrambling. As Simon tried to squeak out a tear over how proud he is to win immunity.

After returning to tribal council, George and Shiz went to one corner of tribal council while the rest of the tribe went to another. George told Shiz to join the boys and act like he is going home, while he intended to create war and chaos amongst them. When Shiz approached them however, Simon loudly told them all to go sit down and open it up to the floor instead. While Liz requested he calm down. Simon spoke about his pride at having immunity, particularly since he knows he was likely copping votes tonight. George piped up and said that he was told that Stevie was going home, meaning the plan had clearly changed multiple times. Stevie said that came as a shock to him, while George asked Simon why he was told that plan.

Simon said that he told multiple people different things to keep things from blowing up, while George doubled down on how much Simon throws out way too many options. Stevie questioned why Simon threw out his name ahead of the second tribal council, while Simon desperately tried to assure him they were close and how much he values their friendship. George pointed out that Simon’s attitude shows he takes the game way too personally and he really needs to correct if he wants to last much further. Before ominously pointing out that the numbers will speak loudest tonight.

The groups split up to lock in their plans, with George filling Shiz in on the fact he has an idol and that he will be playing it but making things as uncomfortable as possible before the votes are read. While Simon forced the boys to lock in on George. After returning to their seats, Simon attempted to apologise to Shonee and Liz, with the later pointing out he clearly has no respect for them or their games before he and George grew more and more hostile with each other. That led to Jordie jumping in and reminding them that this is a game and it is meant to be fun, rather than them speaking to each other like absolute trash. To which Jonathan agreed, as George ominously shared that he is looking forward to a little bit of fun.

With that the tribe voted – Simon of all people telling George to treat people with respect – as George pulled out his idol as the last person – Stevie – stood up to vote, leading to laughter from Jordie and Fraser as Simon asked him who was going home, then. He then started taunting Simon, asking if he would be playing his idol to save Stevie and prove whether he is a hero or a villain. Sadly he took it one step further though, pointing out that Jordie is coming for him and told everyone about his idol. Which is worse than what Dani did in their first season, given Jordie pretends to be his bestie. He then told Simon to play his idol for Stevie and prove he is good, before Simon asked Jordie what was true. Jordie admitted to everything, knowing the numbers were against him and shared that he voted against Stevie.

George then double down, telling Simon his smartest move was to play the idol for Stevie and guarantee that one of the people that have been disloyal to him goes home and wake up tomorrow in power with him and Shiz, a clean slate between them and the knowledge that he only has one more traitor to get rid of before they swap. Simon held firm, pointing out that somebody needs to go while George turned his attention to Stevie, apologising and pointing out he desperately wanted to wake up with him tomorrow morning. Simon then offered a heartfelt apology to Stevie who was flabbergasted that Simon had turned on him while George pointed out that he will know who he can trust when he wakes up the next morning.

Which should have been a clue that all was not as it seems as two votes piled up on George – which did not count – and a pair came in for Stevie before George, Shonee and Liz’s votes piled up on Fraser. Brilliantly ruining Simon’s game and locking in Stevie as a number for George. And ugh, it was hard to watch for most of the time, but that was an epic tribal council. As was Stevie telling Simon they are not friends as he tried to apologise.

By the time Fraser arrived at Loser Lodge he was relieved to be away from the drastically escalating tensions, disappointed to be out of the game and a teeny tiny bit excited to be the person going home after such a memorable tribal council. I pulled him in for a hug and assured him that there was honestly nothing he could have done amidst the chaos that had unfolded over the course of the night and as such, he should still be proud of the game he had played. Oh and of course, rest easy knowing that being the person eliminated after the biggest tribal council of the series pretty much guarantees him a second shot. Which cheered him up almost as much as the piping hot Frasausage Melack I whipped up.

While I know a melt is nothing more than a toasted sandie, there is something so soothing about them that I instantly put them on a pedestal over a classic toastie. Though maybe it is because they focus even more heavily on cheese, which is essentially my personality and life at this point. Add in a little sausage and you know I’m in heaven.

Enjoy!

Frasausage Melack
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
1 red capsicum, seeded and sliced
2 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste
500g Italian sausage, casings removed
8 slices sourdough
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 cup provolone cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
¼ cup butter

Method
Pop the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and saute the onions and capsicums for about ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the chilli flakes, season and cook for a further minute or so before removing from the heat.

Shape the sausage meat into four thin patties and add to the still hot pan and cook for a couple of minutes each side until cooked. Remove from heat and wipe out the pan.

To assemble the sandwiches, smear the mayo on each slice of bread before dividing half the cheeses on four of the slices. Top with the onion and capsicum, followed by the patties and the rest of the cheese. Close the sandwiches with the remaining bread and smear some butter on the top of each.

Pop the clean skillet over medium heat again and place the sandwiches buttered side down on the pan and cook for a few minutes. Butter the tops of the sandwiches before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Serve immediately, cut in half of course, and devour.


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Chicken and Sarah Marschkroom Baos

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Poultry, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Simon was still blissfully under the assumption that he had an idol in his possession. And while we may not know what, if anything, he found in the cookie jar, one thing we can be certain of is that the producers are going to love however it blows up in his face. Hayley meanwhile successfully threw an immunity challenge, desperate to break the (Australian) winner’s curse. And since Rogue was on her tribe, she felt it was kind of a safe bet. Sadly Shaun got a clue to an idol from David and Sam, and while the trio of allies vowed to find and use it together, Shaun jagged it for himself – his first real one! –  and decided now might be the right time to turn the tide against Hayley. Thankfully for our Queen, Rogue Rogued and offended her tribe one final time and got herself booted. Though not before doing a you-can’t-fire-me-I-quit plea to be booted.

The next day the Villains were enjoying the peace of a restful sleep after their first night off while Jordie and Fraser bonded over wanting to be arseholes instead of being on 24/7. And by being on, essentially they wanted to do nothing, stop helping and piss by the shelter, which speaks to my desire to retire by 40 on a deep, deep level. Simon however was not being lazy, lopping bamboo and being useful while Jordie and George joined him to help out and reinforce the shelter. Jordie opened up to us about how bossy Simon can be and while they both wanted George out, his temper is making working with Simon difficult. Right on cue, Simon yelled at George for getting distracted too easily and well, it was awkward and everyone just looked like they were embarrassed. For Simon.

Jordie realised that the boys were a tight four, while the girls and George were also bonded and as such, caught up with George to float the idea of working together to protect each other from their factions. Despite the fact Jordie knew it could come back to bite him, should they get caught.

Meanwhile over at the Heroes camp, the tribe were thrilled to be free of Rogue’s attitude and feeling well and truly zen again. Hayley was thrilled to have broken the curse, while Benjamin and Sharni were busy bonding while tidying and being super helpful and ugh, it is so damn wholesome. We then got a deep dive on Benjamin and his career, though I was across most of it given he is my hero. Being kind and crafty, he suggested the tribe whip up a fake idol together and while you would assume it was to benefit the entire tribe come swap, it made David, Flick and Sam feel like they cannot trust him. David and Sam caught up with Shaun, who was wisely keeping the fact he has the real idol a secret before the brainstrust went hunting along the shore. While Shaun giggled about outsmarting them, knowing that playing like a hero didn’t exactly serve him well during his first season.

The tribes joined up with my love JLP for the reward challenge where they would battle in pairs to knock barrels off a deck, with the first tribe to three scoring a tower of baked goods. And well, let’s just say, when I saw I snag roll I practically creamed my jeans, while Liz questioned whether the bread was ciabatta or sourdough, while Shonee was just looking for assurances it all came with a balsamic glaze. Like damn icons. First up were Stevie and Simon versus Shaun and Ben with the Heroes taking the point due to Simon not letting Stevie toss anything. Sam and Hayley then faced off against Jordie and George with George’s fire to best Hayley taking out the point for the Villains. Shonee and Fraser took on sweet Gerry and Matt with the Heroes quickly putting Shonee out of her misery before Paige and David defeated Sarah and Liz, handing the reward to Heroes.

Ideally for us to discover the pastries are actually raw when they return to camp.

Back at camp they learnt the producers had once again trolled them, this time spreading 11 treats out in front of them with the person who read the note – Sam – getting to decide who got to eat what. Hayley got a croissant, Paige got the meat pie, Sharni got a full loaf of bread, Gerry got a snag roll – lucky king – David got a choccie cake, Flick got a cupcake, Nina got a donut, Benjamin got a party pie, Matt a lamington, Shaun got a spongelog – and the realisation that Sam is out of his depth in the game – while Sam kept himself a slice of gluten free toast. Aka loyal to an absolute fault.

After smashing the food, Hayley got back to work hunting for an idol while Shaun watched on. Realising he had to do something to distract Sam and David from the fact he actually had the idol, Shaun told them he caught Hayley catching the idol and as such, they spread it like wildfire throughout camp. Hayley being the best player in the camp, pulled Shaun aside realising something was off between them and tried to find what the problem was. Which thankfully, finally made Shaun realise that it is stupid to vote out Hayley already, given she is a clear threat and as such distracts from the fact he is ten feet and looks stunning in a speedo.

The tribes caught up with Jonathan again for the immunity challenge where the tribes would race to push a heavy cart through a course to collect fire making equipment before lighting a fire to release a bag of coconuts. Aka the final four firemaking challenge on a massive scale. Despite being far weaker on paper, the Villains got out to an early lead before everyone fought over wood. With Stevie climbing it to make things hard for the Heroes like a damn icon. Deciding they had enough, the Villains powered to the end of the course while the Heroes focused on getting as many supplies as possible. The villains were first to make it to the end with Stevie getting to work on the fire as the rest of the tribe tried to figure out the best place to build the bonfire in the conditions. After lighting the torch, the Villains built a tall structure in a race against time as the Heroes closed the gap. Though way too slowly as the Villains took out the win before the Heroes even lit their fire.

Back at camp Sam was busy speculating whether they take out Ben for being shifty – which I repeat, he wasn’t – or Gerry for having an injured foot. Ben, Shaun, Flick, Sharni and Nina caught up by the well, agreeing how difficult the upcoming vote will be given they don’t have a Rogue. Nina suggested getting rid of Gerry would make sense given he is injured and while everyone felt bad about losing such a sweet man, Sharni tried to rationalise it as something that may save him from further injury in the long run. But damn does she hate the idea. After everyone disappeared, Sharni admitted she won’t be writing Gerry’s name down to Nina with her suggesting they get rid of Ben instead, for being shifty. This plan spread like wildfire and while Hayley was not a fan of the idea, given she and Ben are so close, she knew she wasn’t safe enough to make any demands.

Sadly for her laying low wasn’t keeping her safe anyway as Sam, David and Matt decided now would be a perfect time to blindside Hayley, given everyone is distracted, so got to work trying to find two more to get rid of her. While Nina gave some non-committal assurances, Shaun was not so thrilled about blindsiding his new ally and despite pretending it doesn’t bother him, it spurred him into action. First he told Flick what was happening before the duo approached Sam and David, assuring them that while Hayley needs to go before the merge, now is not the right time and as such, they need to see sense and not cause more chaos than they need to.

At tribal council David was surprised they were back at tribal council, while Flick spoke about how much more difficult tonight’s tribal council is compared to the last one, given they all get along. Ben was hopeful everyone was on the same page, though was nervous about blowing things up, given the last vote actually created some harmony. Hayley spoke about being worried that the upcoming vote won’t create the factions they think, while sweet Gerry was concerned his injury would be his undoing, given everyone is friendly. Ben felt like everyone should be nervous, while Gerry was the only one willing to cop to feeling like he will be receiving votes tonight.

Gerry spoke about being strong in challenges and at camp, with Shaun reiterating he has done so much for all of them and while he is still strong, he has an injury and anything will make you a target. After pointing out Gerry can’t vote for himself, Hayley begged him not to vote for her – lol – before Jonathan dropped the bomb that while they are voting someone out tonight, it is actually to send them to the Villains tribe. And should they survive their exile for two days – aka, through the next tribal council – they will return back to the Heroes camp with a tonne of intel. Which is a good twist (finally), as it could actually go either way for the person voted out and the tribe as a whole, meaning the way forward is murky.

This gagged the tribe with Shaun suggesting they get to whispering to figure out who to vote for, while Hayley suggested they should vote for a clearly loyal person, given they will give the Villains nothing and the Heroes everything upon their return. Ben meanwhile wanted to send someone that would cause chaos, while Gerry told them to focus on sending an asset. Nina meanwhile pointed out that while you want to send a spy that won’t be offended, there is still the risk that the person could just be voted out by the Villains next. Hayley smartly asked whether the Villains would know how it all transpired, with JLP assuring them it will only be what the Heroes tell them.

Paige meanwhile suggested she would be happy to go, while everyone else whispered to lock in the Gerry vote. As Nina jumped on the Paige bandwagon, telling the tribe it was easy, Paige continued to push to go for the star moment, while Sam suggested they vote someone that makes sense to have been voted out that they’d also be willing to lose given it isn’t a guarantee they come back. Which obviously made Gerry nervous as he asked who Sam was suggesting then. And ugh, Sam, you were so damn close to making a compelling argument, why did you have to go and tell the person you’re about to vote as a spy that they are expendable? With that the tribe voted, sending sweet Gerry over to the Villains for the weekend. And thanks to Sam’s blunder, he was taking a little bit of a bruised ego which should thankfully make things a little interesting.

As Gerry arrived at the Villains camp, everyone was fast asleep as he quietly crawled into the shelter to try and gently wake someone up. As he alerted Simon – who hilariously thought it was Sam – he pulled him in for a hug, while the rest of the tribe awoke to welcome him. Well except for George, who was annoyed that he scored a better spot in the shelter and after sassing him out, told us that it was critical that he makes sure he woos Gerry before Simon does. And well, who is going to tell him it may be too late already?

We checked in with the Heroes where Sharni was regalling the Meat Tray with stories of waking up and punching a crab. And while they seemed close, Sharni shared that she was just flexing her acting muscles – or chops, even – given she is so annoyed with them for risking Gerry despite Paige wanting to go to the other tribe. While Shaun tried to explain that voting for Gerry made the most sense, it didn’t make Sharni feel any less annoyed by how it all went down behind his back.

We returned to the Villains camp where Simon interrupted George and Gerry bonded, while George stared daggers at him. Fraser joined the conversation to see if he knew he was copping votes the previous night, with the sweet man proving to have a few sly tricks up his sleeve as he expertly spun a lie. And well Gerry, he was just feeling all the love from the tribe and was grateful for how friendly and kind they all are and as such, his loyalty was already wavering. Particularly since they were happy for him to be expendable. We then learnt about Gerry’s life on Fraser Island and all the hardship he has experienced and ugh, just like Sharni, I want only good things for him. As Simon continued to suck up to Gerry, George went person to person, pointing out how obvious Simon was being to try and woo him as a number. And George, maybe stop complaining and start befriending?

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge with George sassily asking the Heroes to explain why they voted out Gerry before learning that one at a time they would face off one on one to knock their opponent’s idol off a disc. With the first tribe to three getting a huge collection of supplies and a piping hot lasagne. Or not, who knows? It could be frozen. Sam and Simon were first to do battle with Simon tragically dropping his, leading to a smug little dance from Sam. Shonee was next up against Flick, with our Queen tying things up before George and Hayley faced off, with Hayley obviously putting Heroes back out in front. Jordie and Shaun were up next with Jordie wisely tossing his in the air as he slapped Shaun’s to the ground, once again tying things up leaving Simon and David to battle out for reward with Simon botching the toss strategy as the Heroes jagged the win.

But hey, at least George got some intel from Hayley that he should trust Gerry.

Back at the ever improving Heroes camp, derpy Sam was thrilled with their latest haul as he carved up one of the three lasagnes for the tribe to devour. The spirits were obviously very high, but only got higher as Matt discovered pictures from home. We met David’s girlfriend who made him break down in tears, while Matt showed off a picture of him proposing to his girlfriend – post nervous poo – Hayley showed the day she bought a house, Benjamin spoke about his high school sweetheart Scott, we met Sharni’s grandfather, Sam’s girlfriend, Sandra got a photo cameo, Megan Gale graced our screens, Flick’s boyfriend made a return before Paige sobbed talking about her grandmother who passed away a few months earlier and ugh, I’m crying too.

Meanwhile the Villains were busy working, with Stevie getting them all on firewood duty while George quickly started working on Gerry. He pulled him aside and told him that Hayley told him to trust Gerry before Geroge spilled the tea on what was going on within the tribe, before they both offered up their allies and vowed to work together. While sweet Gerry proved to also be shrewd, knowing that he now holds the power to choose between George and Simon. And without the heroes realising, he can return to them with a new tribe of allies to bring them down. And FUCK YES, rise King Gerry.

The tribes joined JLP on a beach for the next immunity challenge where the heroes announced that they got photos from home. Which made Gerry look ready to kill. But back to the challenge, where they would race out to a boat, row it into shore and drag it up the beach before crawling under a net and tying their paddles into a pole to release a key which they would use to unlock blocks which they would then use to solve a word puzzle. While the tribes were neck and neck at the start, Shaun being a man mountain let the Heroes take the lead as he propped up the net and let the tribe breeze through. The Villains desperately tried to close the gap with once again, the puzzle proving to be the great equaliser. The Villains were first to get their letters ready while the Heroes figured out the phrase. Clearly out of their depth, the Villains vowed to just copy off the Heroes as Ben straight up signed the answer to Paige to slow them down. With the Heroes solving the puzzle a fraction ahead of the Villains.

Back at camp Simon was well and truly over the losses, while the tribe tried to rally and keep morale up. As everyone split up, Simon quickly locked in the plan to vote out George with Fraser however it was all reliant on Gerry. But given he had clearly warmed to Geroge, Simon instead tried to woo Sarah to his side. She was obviously in on the plan, telling Simon she knows he is a snake and as such, wants to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Simon took the information back to Fraser with the duo celebrating how easily it came together, as George watched on, assuming they were coming for him.

George caught up with Shiz by the well with George talking about how horribly Simon treats him and as such, he is willing to get rid of him ASAP. While George was confident they had Sarah and Gerry in their corner to make a move, Shiz both cautioned him that Sarah isn’t as loyal as he thinks and as such, suggested that maybe they should consider targeting her instead. And while Geroge was happy with the plan, he was also worried that she would push him down the stairs quicker than you can say Miss Greece. As such, George approached Gerry to let him know about the plan with Gerry quickly jumping on board. Talk turned to who would be the best person to rope in as a fifth, with them settling on Stevie, given he is another old boy. Sadly Stevie was not thrilled to blindside Sarah at first, given he is very close with Simon, though knew that getting rid of her takes him one step closer to the switch.

Stevie wisely caught up with Gerry to talk through what they should do, with Gerry reminding him that things change minute by minute and he needs to go with the flow. Stevie then approached Fraser to check if they are voting for George or Sarah, with the eavesdropping Simon wondering how Sarah became an option all of a sudden and grew all the more confused as they headed out for their date with JLP.

At tribal council Gerry spoke about how welcomed he was by his fellow Villains, while George spoke about how great it was to get a new member, particularly one that slotted right into the tribe. Shonee felt like Gerry fit in with them, given they are kind of lovely despite their love for some cheeky villanousness. George reiterated how grateful he was to have Gerry in his corner, while he was focused on making sure that the person they vote out tonight is the biggest risk to flip on the tribe post swap. As hell froze over, Simon agreed that was the wisest move while Jordie implied a tribe swap was imminent which upset JLP, given he sets the rules. While George, Simon and Jordie appeared to be on the same page, Stevie spoke about being worried about just following, rather than making the move that benefits him. Jordie spoke about voting for the shiftiest while Sarah was focused on sticking with the people she trusts. As George stared at Simon and Jordie, willing them to flip and take her out.

With that the tribe voted, George held onto his idol and once again, Simon got cold feet ahead of the vote, joining with the Shiz crew to blindside Sarah. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, Sarah quickly proved how she became a champion beauty queen, acting poised and charming as I pulled her in for a hug. I congratulated her on playing a solid game, telling her that if this had been a season of just newbies, I truly believe she would have taken it all the way and well, that was enough to cheer her up before I served up a fresh batch of piping hot Chicken and Sarah Marschkroom Baos.

There is nothing I love more than a glorious steamed bun, and this lighter chicken version is truly delicious. Sweet and earthy, it warms even the coldest of villains. And could even guarantee nobody is pushed down the stairs, or anything.

Enjoy!

Chicken and Sarah Marschkroom Baos
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
7g sachet dry yeast
¾ cup warm water
2 cups flour
1 cup cornflour
5 tbsp raw caster sugar
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 ½ tsp baking powder
canola oil
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp minced ginger
2 cups shiitake mushrooms, sliced
salt and pepper
500g chicken mince
⅓ cup chopped chives
1 tbsp truffle oil

Method
In the large bowl of an electric mixer, dissolve the yeast into the water and let it rest until it is foamy and glorious.

While that is frothing away, sift the flour, cornflour and sugar together. When the yeast is ready, add the flour and oil.

Using a dough hook, turn the mixer on to the lowest setting and leave to knead for about 5 minutes or until a small ball is formed. Place in a large oiled bowl, cover with a damp cloth and allow to prove for 2 hours.

While the dough is working on proving itself to you, get to work on the meat mixture. 

Heat a lug of canola oil in a large frying pan and saute garlic and ginger for a minute or so, or until nice and fragrant. Add the mushrooms and cook for five minutes or so, or until soft. Remove from heat, season and allow to cool completely. Once chill, combine the shiitakes, mince, chives, and truffle oil in a bowl and scrunch until well combined.

After the dough has made something of itself, return it to the bowl of the mixer, add the baking powder and knead it again on the lowest setting until it is smooth again, adding water a teaspoon at a time if it looks too dry. Trust your gut here people, I did. Cover with a damp cloth and leave to rest for 15 minutes.

While resting, cut out ten 10x10cm squares of baking paper and add water to the steamer and bring to the boil.

When ready, roll the dough out into a long tube and divide into ten pieces. Flatten each piece into a 12cm diameter disc, leaving more dough towards the centre, add a good chunk of the filling and bring the dough together to close the bun at the top. Place on a square of parchment and repeat the process until all done.

Steam the buns for 12 minutes over high heat, three or four at a time depending on the size of your steamer, making sure the water does not touch the buns. Then devour, gleefully, with your fave condiments.


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