Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Kameron finally awakened the beast in Cher: The Unauthorised Rusical and slayed the queens with her spot-on Cher. Meanwhile The Vixen had a breakthrough and spoke to Asia about her feelings and why she behaves the way she does – spoiler alert: fear and pain, like everyone. Sadly for her, her performance wasn’t a breakthrough, nor was Asia’s awful Moonstruck-era Cher as the new friends landing in the bottom with the third time not proving a charm for The Vixen, and she was sent from the competition.
The remaining queens returned to the Werk Room to discover that The Vixen channelled the All Stars 3 girls, leaving a cryptic, nasty message for Eureka. Thankfully Eureka knows how to play the game and said that while they didn’t get along, she was impressed by her talent. Eureka for Miss Congeniality?! JK Kimora. Anyway, Asia too was putting on a brave face saying that she desperately needed to lip sync to wake her up (Pearl) and recharge her drag batteries. The queens then congratulated Kameron, who still seemed to be shocked by her win and just seemed so awkward and endearing and I love her even more. Someone who isn’t lacking confidence however is Aquaria who argued that her bottom three placement was not a bottom three placement … despite being a fucking bottom three placement. She then acknowledged her confidence and shared that she wanted them all gone, so she could win which led to an argument with Asia about sportsmanship which you just know is going to come back and bite her. Bottoms up, I guess. For Kameron, swoon.
Back in the Werk Room the next day the queens joked about how empty the Werk Room is and how boring slash young Aquaria. Proving to be the latest gag of the season, Stephen Colbert interrupted their Kiki to issue this week’s challenge tease before Ru joined them to announce this week’s glorious mini challenge. Which required a super sized pit crew in long shorts. With the queens tasked with finding the Pit Crew-ers with matching underwear. And just like that, I passed out from dehydration. Sorry – I’m typing one handed, so you won’t get a full run down though Ru – praise the gay gods – made them all twerk before Aquaria won.
With victory under Aquaria’s belt, she was given the option to assign the roles in this week’s main challenge, where the Queens would act in the premium cable drama about a theme park full of drag queen robots – yas bish, it’s Breastworld! Shocking everyone, Aquaria allowed them to pick their own roles as a way to form a friendship and behave in a sportsmanlike manner. Miz Cracker snagged herself the main, while Asia picked one of the smallest making her nervous. Though not as nervous as Aquaria who took the scrap role that nobody wanted, quickly discovering why nobody wanted it.
Ru returned for his walkaround with Aquaria sharing that she gave everyone the chance to select their role to make friends, with Ru questioning why that makes sense before encouraging her to make the few-lined role her bitch. Monet was mixing up her wigs and was hoping to finally take a win, Eureka was confident in playing herself – essentially – while Kameron appeared nervous before Ru gave her a pep talk to bring more personality. Asia felt she was playing the role of her aunts before Ru brought up her shocking performance of Beyonce and gave her one hell of a pep talk, putting the one for Kameron to shame. Rounding things out, Ru rubbed Cracker’s face in her inability to snatch a win and encouraged her to be less rehearsed.
Ross and Michelle joined the queens to direct the girl’s Breastworld shoot which, TBH, was kind of an epic mess with Cracker and Eureka playing it flat and Kameron was just bad. Thankfully Monet and Aquaria were there, otherwise there would have been zero joy. Though Michelle and Ross seemed to enjoy Asia, so that is a thing. But we really only saw a line … so maybe it will be good?
The top six returned for elimination day, with Kameron 100% sure that he will be lip syncing. As was Eureka, who selected her runway outfit sorted partly based on its comfort for a lip sync. The queens then discussed aging before Aquaria spoke about her mentor, Amanda Lepore and respecting the elders of their community. Which is literally all of the other queens. There was kiki-ing about dating as a drag queen, sisterhood and it was just really nice.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by my two favourite kweens – YAS YAS YAS – Illana and Abbi. Yas kween, le Broads de Broad City. I am in heaven, damnit. Miz Cracker kicked off the Silver Foxy runway, channelling Devil Wear’s Prada Meryl. Asia brought comedy to her future old drag queen, Monet was hilarious as a drunk mess with her titties dragging on the floor, Aquaria tried to look like a fierce old queen before Eureka and Kameron pulled out a killer one-two punch – well Kameron did – as Sylvia and Yetta Fine. I mean, he bombed the challenge but damn did Kameron slay the runway. Meanwhile Breastworld – expertly narrated by Stephen Colbert – played out exactly as you’d expect with Kameron, Cracker and Eureka bombing while Monet and Aquaria owned the performance before Asia turned her third act role into a shining moment.
The judges loved Cracker’s look though hated the fact she got caught in her head in the challenge. They loved Kameron’s runway though as expected, felt she was the worst in Breastworld. The judges brought everything Monet was selling, felt Aquaria was participating in a different runway though loved her performance in Breastworld and though Eureka fell flat in both instances. Rounding things out, they loved Asia’s performance in Breastworld though weren’t sure about her look.
Ultimately both Monet and Aquaria were robbed of a win by Asia, while Kameron and Eureka landed in the bottom two as Cracker avoided the lipsync by the skin of her teeth. Both queens slayed the performance, as Kameron came out of her shell and Eureka mopped the floor with her kooch despite the busted knee. By the time it came to their synchronised lip syncs and Kameron’s vogueing while splitting, the judges were whooping and cheering before Ru declared both queens safe due to their killer performances. Not before pranking Eureka though.
While I was gagged to see a double shantay, I started to feel very attacked by the scheduling … until I remembered I was sitting next to my dear friend Laganja Estranja and I could post about her instead. Which is particularly convenient since she was quoted by Aquaria, okkkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrr?
Anyway as you know, I have a close relationship with the Haus of Edwards – when will Ganja join Alyssa (and again) and Shangie as a robbed goddess of All Stars? – and as such, have known Laganja since she was knee high to a drag-pig’s eye. And worked as part of the team to push her onto Drag Race.
Her run on Drag Race was hella exciting, with the highest of highs – not in the way she’d like – and the lowest of lows (see: untucked) but make no mistake, Ganja is an icon and she needs to return. Whether she likes it or not. Which I reiterated over and over while whipping up a big fat Lasanja Extranja.
Part sandwich, part cake and part whatever else the screenshot of a tweet I saw on Instagram said, lasagne is quite possibly the greatest meal. And this classic version, is so damn good. Also – shout out to Fame Hungry superfan – I said what I said, and don’t make me change it – Glenn X / DeLaCreme who suggested this needed to happen.
And as it was tweeted, so it be done. So enjoy … particularly you Glenn.
(How could you not when you’re devouring meat and creamy sauce, though)?
1 quantity Dolognese Parton
¼ cup flour
¼ tsp nutmeg
salt and pepper, to taste
¾ cup grated parmesan cheese
250g lasagne sheets
¾ cup grated mozzarella
Make the Dolognese and set aside while you get saucy, okkkkkkkrrrrrrr?
Preheat oven to 160°C.
Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until foamy before whisking in the flour, nutmeg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Cook stirring for a minute or so, or until the flouriness has left the mixture. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk until no lumps remain. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Stir in the parmesan and remove from heat.
To assemble, spread a quarter of the dolognese over the base of a baking dish. Layer with lasagne sheets and spoon over a quarter of the bechamel sauce. Top with another quarter of dolognese and repeat the process, finishing with the last quarter of bechamel. Make it feel very attacked by smothering with mozzarella and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes or until the pasta is tender. Unlike the way Untucked treated her.
Allow to rest for ten minutes or so before devouring, mawma.