What a difference two weeks make! I mean, we had envisioned The E.J.A.C.U.L.A.T.E. Book Club as a time for us to get together with our friend Eric Jonrosh and tear shreds of our mutual friends’ talent or lack thereof.
Suri Cruise being the talented and ferocious tween that she is got in touch when she heard we would be discussing her first book Suri’s Burn Book (originally a blog, imagine that) she decided to get in touch and, knowing our catty behaviour, get in front of the situation. Therefore, our book club will now, forever more, involve our celebrity-author friends.
Eric chose Suri’s Burn Book for its strong sense of prose and the questions it asked about society; why do we act like children when we don’t own a Ferragamo, why did the Kardashians exist before the arrival of Caitlyn Jenner and why oh why do the Garnerflecks insist upon acting poor?
Suri’s writing blisters of the page as she highlights the inherent flaws with the current crop of second generation (plus) Hollywood. Give us the Lizas, the Drews and the Carries; these women knew what privilege could get you and, where required, derailed early enough to enjoy successful careers.
I mean, you just always knew Suri was behind Katie’s emancipation (and getting rid of her half smile), didn’t you?
Suri balances her acid tongue with surprising stints of sweet empathy (free the Kardashian-Disicks, am I right?) and the kind of scathing words that burn to your core – as such, the only appropriate thing to eat during the discussion/analysis was our Spicy, Sweet & Souri Cruise Soup.
Like Cruise’s work, the whack of chilli punches you in the gut like one of her barbs, the sweetness of the honey is like her public persona and the tang of the sake is representative of the tartness you feel in your soul from the existential questions Cruise’s work raises.
Five Jonrosh Goblets out of Five, for the book and the soup.
For those playing at home, what did you think of Suri’s work?
Spicy, Sweet & Souri Cruise Soup
3 cloves of garlic
2 red chillies
thumb-sized piece of ginger
200g shitake mushrooms, sliced
225g sliced bamboo shoots, drained
3 tbsp gluten free soy sauce
¼ cup cooking sake
1 teaspoon honey
1 ½ litres vegetable stock
250g firm tofu
4 spring onions
½ bunch of chives
1 large egg
freshly ground white pepper
Heat stock in a large saucepan before you get to work preparing everything else.
Peel the garlic, crush and finely slice, finely slice the chillies, peel and finely grate the ginger; combine all three in a bowl.
Drain the bamboo shoots and finely slice the mushrooms.
Heat a generous amount of oil in a large saucepan, over high heat; add the mushrooms, garlic, chillies, ginger and bamboo shoots and fry until softened and lightly golden.
Add the soy, sake and honey to the pan with a generous pinch of salt and pepper, stirring and cooking for a further minute. Add the stock and bring to a gentle boil, before reducing the heat and simmering for about ten minutes.
Use this time to dice the tofu into 1cm cubes, finely slice the shallots and chives, and quickly whisk the egg in a large mug.
Add the tofu, chives and shallots to the pan, stir and remove from the heat. Give the saucepan a stir and while stirring, pour in the egg to finely cook it into thin ribbons.
Add sriracha to taste and season with more soy, sake, salt and pepper until you balance the flavours to your taste.
Devour and clear out your sinuses.