Lygia Gunntini Fizz

Previously on All Stars Ru auditioned the remaining queens to form a supergroup and collaborate with the iconic Henny. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, Gia continued to focus on the task of driving storylines and creating drama, pestering Farrah all episode and getting into her head before going on stage. Sadly Monique’s homage to Aaliyah was just as bad as Farrah’s attempt to dance landing them in the bottom, while Monet and Valentina slayed the competition. Most surprisingly, Valentina then slayed the lip sync sans mask, snatched the 10,000 doo-lahs and kicked Farrah to the kerb. Despite still loving her.

Unlike Gia.

Back in the Werk Room the queens gave her a round of ooohhhhs before Valentina explained that she eliminated Farrah as she had done poorly in both challenges and she didn’t feel it was fair to give her a third chance before Monique got a second. Which is tragically not very villainous, which is how I like her. That being said, Naomi felt it was a sign that the competition was on and she looked forward to booting some of her friends if given the chance. Latr ila pivoted and congratulated Valentina for finally knowing the lyrics in a lip-sync, which annoyed Monet as she felt she also slayed and really wanted the win. Speaking of Monet, she too had selected ~~Jasmine Masters~~ Farrah. Things obviously went back to Gia who spoke about Farrah telling her she didn’t love her. Oh and while Gia normally brings the drama, Trinity decided to get in on the action and questioned Monet’s outfit decision for the lip sync.

The queens returned the next day to discover they would be doing a Bitchelor-Snatch Game crossover, called the Snatch Game of Love where they would each try and woo a Snatchelor while doing their celebrity impressions. Naomi was nervous about Snatch Game given her failure in Season 8, though she was feeling confident in her choice of Wendy Williams. Monet was feeling good given how she slayed in Season 10, though did admit that she also had the challenge of meeting high expectations. Latrice was hoping this season would feature less romper room fuckery as she plays Della Reese, while Manila was concerned that she has been out of the race for too long and wouldn’t live up to her Imelda Marcos from Season 3.

While Gia tried to pick up Valentina she announced that she would be playing Eartha Kitt in Snatch Game while Gia was planning to play Caitlyn Jenner. Which is conveniently who Trinity was doing, leading to a face-off between the queens with no one buying that Gia should have it because they are both trans. Thankfully Latrice broke the stand-off, deeming Trinity’s Caitlyn better than Gia’s and as such she needed to go with her back-up of Cardi B’s Insta-Celeb nail artist. Of course Gia gave a delightful parting shot, explaining that while trans playing trans would have been nice, an old white plastic bitch playing an old white plastic bitch probably made the most sense. I mean, I know there can be such thing as too much drama but damn Gia keeps things interesting.

With that we arrived at the first Snatch Game of Love panel featuring Monet as my dear Whitney Houston, Naomi as Wendy Williams, Trinity as the successful Caitlyn Jenner – another dear friend – and Valentina as Eartha Kitt vying for the love of my boyfriend Gus Kenworthy – who is almost ready to appear on this patch of cyberspace, FYI. Despite a killer Maya Angelou, Monet struggled with Whitney Houston, bombing alongside Valentina while Trinity steamrolled the competition and won Gus’ heart. Though Naomi did nail it, particularly when she fainted on the way out the door. Oh and mad props to Naomi for loving Trinity owning the competition and Valentina for referencing the greatest movie of all time, The Emperor’s New Groove.

The second panel vying for Keiynan Lonsdale’s affection featured Monique as Tiffany Haddish, Manila and Nicole Kidman’s Hours nose as my dear Barbra Streisand, Gia as Jenny Bui and Latrice as icon and my dearly departed friend Della Reese. Gia came through with enough romper room fuckery to annoy the hell of Latrice and take her out of her role, while Manila rose above the mess and slayed the competition, ultimately winning Keiynan’s heart.

Elimination Day rolled around and Monet was feeling nervous after bombing her panel, though was thankful that Gia bombed harder. On the flipside, Manila congratulated Trinity on owning the competition before they agreed that Gia would be in the bottom with one of Monet, Valentina and I’ll throw in Latrice for good measure. Clearly feeling her oats, Manila floated that while Gia will clearly be in the bottom it may actually be better to take out a threat. Out loud. In front of threats. Meanwhile Gia and Latrice met up with the former apologising for fucking up Latrice’s Snatch Game, and it really seemed genuine. Though I thought that last week.

We then got a nice little interlude hearing about Manila being married and Latrice preparing for his wedding, and finding a love note from his fiancé in his luggage and damn I am crying. Latrice is delightful and I love that she found love. Manila then admitted that she had girlfriends in High School and damn, that is a pivot. Particularly since she had sex with them, since humans are beautiful creatures. Which legit lead to Monet talking about aliens.

On the runway Ru served legs and damn, I am moister than when Gus and Keiynan arrived earlier. Monet kicked off booting the house down, channelling Manila in chanelling Nicole Kidman serving BMX bandits realness. Naomi played Malificent, Trinity slayed in leather and beads, while Valentina wore full body boots with a very bunchy patch of leather in her snatch. Monique was served a nicer version of her offensive Aaliyah outfit by channelling a crafty Red Riding Hood. Manilla owned the runway as a BDSM bunny while Gia was going for a Rhianna denim look, though it was a cringe as Britney’s. Latrice was gorgeous dripping in jewels from tit to toe.

Monet and Monique both finished safe, before Naomi was praised for her Snatch Game performance though read for not really wearing boots. Trinity received glowing praise for literally everything she did, with Ross saying her Caitlyn was one of the best snatches ever. While everyone liked her saggy-crotched outfit, her Snatch Game was panned for studying too hard on Eartha and not having fun. Manila too received praise for literally everything, while Gia’s outfit was liked while, well, we all saw her Snatch Game. Though Gus thanked her for making a difference for the trans community. And Latrice was obviously loved on the runway, though read for being unable to focus while Gia was tearing her down. Obviously Trinity and Manila snatched the win, while Gia was joined in the bottom two by Valentina.

Backstage – while Gus and Keiynan (thumb) wrestled onstage – Trinity pulled Manila aside to see if she was still thinking about taking out a threat. Manila questioned that maybe keeping Gia would be enough to turn her attitude around, and given Valentina won last week it would make sense to take out the competition. Trinity cautioned her that it would instantly make her a target and she needs to weigh up whether it was worth it, working hard to guarantee her friend’s safety. Gia and Manila caught up, with Gia admitting to being overwhelmed by competing in the competition as a trans woman. She then broke down, saying she is sick of being looked at as a man dressing as a woman and she feels like being back is dragging her back to her messier ways. Like me, Manila felt that Gia is trying to be nice and not bring anyone down, but I’m not sure if that is enough to save her.

Meanwhile Trinity pulled Valentina aside to let her know that she will be fighting to win that lip sync, as if Manila wins it is highly likely she will be sending Valentina home over the weaker Gia. Trinity and Gia caught up, with Gia congratulating her on her win and Trinity reminding Gia that no matter what, she supports and loves her. On the other side of the Werk Room Manila admitted to Valentina that she was considering sending her home, before her motives became very clear. Manila floated the idea that she would save her, if she was guaranteed safety from Valentina if the roles were reversed. This obviously pissed off Valentina, who instead opted to challenge her to fight fair and they can battle it out at the top.

In other news, despite it only being thumb wrestling and they weren’t wearing lycra, the boys looked hot as hell and I love it.

Trinity and Manila battled it out to my girl Whitney’s How Will I Know, though Manila honestly won it ten seconds in playing up the giddy, loved up young girl and it was fucking glorious. It was also glorious sitting there for the entire lip sync wondering which way Manila would opt to go when it came it eliminating. Despite her threats Manila opted to go the fair – or safest – route, eliminating Gia and keeping Valentina around to fight another day.

Gia was absolutely not here to find herself eliminated from the competition, though respected that she really didn’t do great in Snatch Game. Given I have known Gia forever – I mean, I am essentially part of the Haus of Edwards given how close I am to Alyssa, Shangie and Laganja – she was thrilled to see someone that truly got and loved her backstage. Particularly since I was packing a tray of Lygia Gunntini Fizzes.

Based off a Nigella recipe, I cut back on the lychee flavour – I find it too much, which is something I never felt I would say – to focus on the burn rather than the sweet floral flavour. But maybe that is your jam, so double the liqueur if it is.

Enjoy!

Lygia Gunntini Fizz
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
60ml white rum
60ml vodka
60 ml lychee liqueur
ice, to serve
1 cup soda water
2 lychees, to garnish

Method
Place the white rum, vodka and liqueur in a cocktail shaker, and shake to combine.

Fill two glasses with ice and pour the liquor amongst them. Top with soda water and a lychee.

Down.

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Lasanja Estranja

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, RuPaul's Drag Race 6, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Kameron finally awakened the beast in Cher: The Unauthorised Rusical and slayed the queens with her spot-on Cher. Meanwhile The Vixen had a breakthrough and spoke to Asia about her feelings and why she behaves the way she does – spoiler alert: fear and pain, like everyone. Sadly for her, her performance wasn’t a breakthrough, nor was Asia’s awful Moonstruck-era Cher as the new friends landing in the bottom with the third time not proving a charm for The Vixen, and she was sent from the competition.

The remaining queens returned to the Werk Room to discover that The Vixen channelled the All Stars 3 girls, leaving a cryptic, nasty message for Eureka. Thankfully Eureka knows how to play the game and said that while they didn’t get along, she was impressed by her talent. Eureka for Miss Congeniality?! JK Kimora. Anyway, Asia too was putting on a brave face saying that she desperately needed to lip sync to wake her up (Pearl) and recharge her drag batteries. The queens then congratulated Kameron, who still seemed to be shocked by her win and just seemed so awkward and endearing and I love her even more. Someone who isn’t lacking confidence however is Aquaria who argued that her bottom three placement was not a bottom three placement … despite being a fucking bottom three placement. She then acknowledged her confidence and shared that she wanted them all gone, so she could win which led to an argument with Asia about sportsmanship which you just know is going to come back and bite her. Bottoms up, I guess. For Kameron, swoon.

Back in the Werk Room the next day the queens joked about how empty the Werk Room is and how boring slash young Aquaria. Proving to be the latest gag of the season, Stephen Colbert interrupted their Kiki to issue this week’s challenge tease before Ru joined them to announce this week’s glorious mini challenge. Which required a super sized pit crew in long shorts. With the queens tasked with finding the Pit Crew-ers with matching underwear. And just like that, I passed out from dehydration. Sorry – I’m typing one handed, so you won’t get a full run down though Ru – praise the gay gods – made them all twerk before Aquaria won.

With victory under Aquaria’s belt, she was given the option to assign the roles in this week’s main challenge, where the Queens would act in the premium cable drama about a theme park full of drag queen robots – yas bish, it’s Breastworld! Shocking everyone, Aquaria allowed them to pick their own roles as a way to form a friendship and behave in a sportsmanlike manner. Miz Cracker snagged herself the main, while Asia picked one of the smallest making her nervous. Though not as nervous as Aquaria who took the scrap role that nobody wanted, quickly discovering why nobody wanted it.

Ru returned for his walkaround with Aquaria sharing that she gave everyone the chance to select their role to make friends, with Ru questioning why that makes sense before encouraging her to make the few-lined role her bitch. Monet was mixing up her wigs and was hoping to finally take a win, Eureka was confident in playing herself – essentially – while Kameron appeared nervous before Ru gave her a pep talk to bring more personality. Asia felt she was playing the role of her aunts before Ru brought up her shocking performance of Beyonce and gave her one hell of a pep talk, putting the one for Kameron to shame. Rounding things out, Ru rubbed Cracker’s face in her inability to snatch a win and encouraged her to be less rehearsed.

Ross and Michelle joined the queens to direct the girl’s Breastworld shoot which, TBH, was kind of an epic mess with Cracker and Eureka playing it flat and Kameron was just bad. Thankfully Monet and Aquaria were there, otherwise there would have been zero joy. Though Michelle and Ross seemed to enjoy Asia, so that is a thing. But we really only saw a line … so maybe it will be good?

The top six returned for elimination day, with Kameron 100% sure that he will be lip syncing. As was Eureka, who selected her runway outfit sorted partly based on its comfort for a lip sync. The queens then discussed aging before Aquaria spoke about her mentor, Amanda Lepore and respecting the elders of their community. Which is literally all of the other queens. There was kiki-ing about dating as a drag queen, sisterhood and it was just really nice.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by my two favourite kweens – YAS YAS YAS – Illana and Abbi. Yas kween, le Broads de Broad City. I am in heaven, damnit. Miz Cracker kicked off the Silver Foxy runway, channelling Devil Wear’s Prada Meryl. Asia brought comedy to her future old drag queen, Monet was hilarious as a drunk mess with her titties dragging on the floor, Aquaria tried to look like a fierce old queen before Eureka and Kameron pulled out a killer one-two punch – well Kameron did – as Sylvia and Yetta Fine. I mean, he bombed the challenge but damn did Kameron slay the runway. Meanwhile Breastworld – expertly narrated by Stephen Colbert – played out exactly as you’d expect with Kameron, Cracker and Eureka bombing while Monet and Aquaria owned the performance before Asia turned her third act role into a shining moment.

The judges loved Cracker’s look though hated the fact she got caught in her head in the challenge. They loved Kameron’s runway though as expected, felt she was the worst in Breastworld. The judges brought everything Monet was selling, felt Aquaria was participating in a different runway though loved her performance in Breastworld and though Eureka fell flat in both instances. Rounding things out, they loved Asia’s performance in Breastworld though weren’t sure about her look.

Ultimately both Monet and Aquaria were robbed of a win by Asia, while Kameron and Eureka landed in the bottom two as Cracker avoided the lipsync by the skin of her teeth. Both queens slayed the performance, as Kameron came out of her shell and Eureka mopped the floor with her kooch despite the busted knee. By the time it came to their synchronised lip syncs and Kameron’s vogueing while splitting, the judges were whooping and cheering before Ru declared both queens safe due to their killer performances. Not before pranking Eureka though.

While I was gagged to see a double shantay, I started to feel very attacked by the scheduling … until I remembered I was sitting next to my dear friend Laganja Estranja and I could post about her instead. Which is particularly convenient since she was quoted by Aquaria, okkkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrr?

Anyway as you know, I have a close relationship with the Haus of Edwards – when will Ganja join Alyssa (and again) and Shangie as a robbed goddess of All Stars? – and as such, have known Laganja since she was knee high to a drag-pig’s eye. And worked as part of the team to push her onto Drag Race.

Her run on Drag Race was hella exciting, with the highest of highs – not in the way she’d like – and the lowest of lows (see: untucked) but make no mistake, Ganja is an icon and she needs to return. Whether she likes it or not. Which I reiterated over and over while whipping up a big fat Lasanja Extranja.

Part sandwich, part cake and part whatever else the screenshot of a tweet I saw on Instagram said, lasagne is quite possibly the greatest meal. And this classic version, is so damn good. Also – shout out to Fame Hungry superfan – I said what I said, and don’t make me change it – Glenn X / DeLaCreme who suggested this needed to happen.

And as it was tweeted, so it be done. So enjoy … particularly you Glenn.

(How could you not when you’re devouring meat and creamy sauce, though)?

Lasanja Estranja
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 quantity Dolognese Parton
80g butter
¼ cup flour
¼ tsp nutmeg
salt and pepper, to taste
1L milk
¾ cup grated parmesan cheese
250g lasagne sheets
¾ cup grated mozzarella

Method
Make the Dolognese and set aside while you get saucy, okkkkkkkrrrrrrr?

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until foamy before whisking in the flour, nutmeg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Cook stirring for a minute or so, or until the flouriness has left the mixture. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk until no lumps remain. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Stir in the parmesan and remove from heat.

To assemble, spread a quarter of the dolognese over the base of a baking dish. Layer with lasagne sheets and spoon over a quarter of the bechamel sauce. Top with another quarter of dolognese and repeat the process, finishing with the last quarter of bechamel. Make it feel very attacked by smothering with mozzarella and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes or until the pasta is tender. Unlike the way Untucked treated her.

Allow to rest for ten minutes or so before devouring, mawma.

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Milk Duds

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 6, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 3, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the remaining queens performed a VH1 Divas live to RuPaul where Shangel(l)a slayed, Kennedy and Thorgy missed the mark and Milk broke down over only being classed as safe. Once again Ben won the challenge, this time with Shangie who skipped her way to victory and ultimately sent Thorgy Thor from the competition. Ugh, gross.

Back in the werkroom the queens were disgusted and/or aroused to see Thorgy’s farewell boner. While Milk came to her fellow clown queen’s defense, Kennedy was well pissed and felt it was inappropriate. Before wigs started flying, the queens sat down to discover that BenDeLa would have also sent Thorgy home. She then danced around her logic, pissing Shangie off for dancing around. Thankfully that discussion kicked off more drama between Shangie and Milk, the latter of which would have sent home Kennedy … needlessly angering a killer lip syncer, which is kind of a stupid move, no?

The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where Ben and ChiChi hugged in a way that misted my basements, before Ru arrived to announce this week’s challenge. The queens would be paired up to improv their way through hit reality show The Bitchleor. Aja and Kennedy were paired up as the needy and party girls, Trixie was cast as the fake bitch with Milk tagging along as a stalker. DeLa got to play a cougar opposite BeBe’s virgin, with Shangie and ChiChi cast as a polyamorous couple.

BeBe was confident in her African Princess character, while DeLa was kind of nervous about the entire thing. Aja planned to channel Farrah Moan, which made Kennedy nervous as she wasn’t sure Aja knew what the word needy meant. My girl Milk was living for her stalker role, as that is how both she and I secured our mans. And well, ChiChi was on a street of struggle and started to go back to her insecure season 8 roots.

Ru and Michelle arrived on set with the bitchelor himself, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, to meet the queens. BeBe was far funnier than BenDeLa expected, BenDeLa was the creepiest cougar to ever grace the planet, Trixie was perfection, Milk was intense, Aja truly was Farrah, Kennedy brought literally all, of, IT, Shangie was a sexual dominatrix and ChiChi seemed to be missing the point of her character. Or maybe that was her character?

On the two-on-one dates, DeLa continued to dominate by deepthroating bananas and feed Jeffrey like Alicia Silverstone does her kids. BeBe on the flipside, was kind of just there. Milk continued to be super intense, while Trixie was super hilarious … whenever she had a chance to talk, given Milk just wouldn’t stop. Farrah and Kennedy got Jeffrey shirtless – praise – before Kennedy pulled liquor out of her boobs and undies, and Kennedy continued to steal the show while Aja tried desperately to stop herself from laughing. Miss Milk needs to hope she isn’t in the bottom, otherwise Kennedy is going to take her out because she CAN NOT lose. Shangie and Cheech wrapped up the dates with a spa bath where Shangie floated and ChiChi was lucky not to drown.

This week’s runway was inspired by Roxxxy Andrews – no, it wasn’t a waiting for the bus runway … it was a wig reveal runway! ChiChi was feeling out of her depth as she prepared, knowing she bombed the challenge. Trixie was desperate to get her first win and finally have a star moment on the show. Ben, Milk and Shangela started to bring the shade, discussing who deserved to be in the bottom three. Ben thought Aja, ChiChi and BeBe would round out the bottom, while Shangie told them she agreed on two and thought that Aja or Milk would be the third. To Milk, who was still wearing Jinx’s delusion and felt she would win. I love you, but safe maybe, but not the top girl.

On the other side of the room, Kennedy, Chi Chi and Aja were talking about the previous days drama with Kennedy talking about how rude Milk was. Which yeah, ain’t looking good for the Big and Milky.

Kennedy, Trixie and Aja owned the runway, Milk went back to her clown roots, ChiChi was a beautiful Cher, DeLa channeled Michelle and Shangela followed the journey of the ultimate cinema snack, popcorn. Shangela and BeBe ended up being safe before DeLa – once again – received universal praise, Trixie finally got glowing reviews, despite being smothered by Milk. Speaking of whom, got praise for her look despite the cup holding the hair being visible and was torn to shreds for her domineering performance. Aja’s killer look was beloved, before being read for not understanding the character … though she didn’t know the definition of needy, so I will let it slide. Kennedy received far and away the best praise, rightfully so, before ChiChi was praised for her runway performance, despite her horrid performance.

Once again BenDeLa won the challenge, this time with the on-point Kennedy, while Milk, Aja and Chi x 2 landed in the bottom. Backstage Trixie was disappointed to not get a win, though decided to avoid crying about it. Milk on the other hand, was once again in tears to land in the bottom three before Kennedy announced that she would not require one on ones to decide who to eliminate. Ben praised Aja’s performance in the competition thus far, ChiChi was questioning whether she was even an All Star and Milk was heartbroken but felt DeLa would reward her track record, while the other girls spoke about how she ruined Trixie’s shot at getting her first win. She then finished her conversation with Ben by saying the judges wanted her here, which came off a bit threatening.

Both DeLa and Kennedy played the lip sync seriously, though once Kennedy removed her coat to reveal a sequined gown … before yet another wig reveal, there was no question Kennedy was winning the lip sync. And much to only Milk’s shock, that meant my dear friend Milk found herself out of the competition.

While she was heartbroken to have found herself out of the competition, Milk was thrilled to see her best friend waiting in the wings to provide her culinary comfort. And begged me to stay with her as long as needed … thus last year’s masterful date to throw you off the scent of her casting. Given she had soured, I thought it best to steer clear of a Choccy Milk, and instead made her some sweet Milk Duds to dull her post-boot pain.

Super sweet with an awesome mouth feel – aka texture – this is the Milk I know and love. And I’m going to keep drowning myself in delusion and pretend the drama was all a ploy to stay longer, since it work for G-G-Gia in her OG season.

Enjoy!

Milk Duds
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
pinch of kosher salt
¾ cup double cream
200g milk chocolate

Method
Combine the sugar and salt with half a cup of water in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until dissolved. Once boiling, stop stirring – well if you can, you know I can’t – reduce heat and simmer until it is a dark honey colour. About five to ten minutes. Add the cream while whisking – be careful, it will spit – and continue cooking until it comes to 130°C on a candy thermometer. Pour into a lined slice dish, cover and allow to set for a couple of hours.

Once set, cut the caramel into candy sized pieces … completely ignoring the shape a milk dud should be. Melt the chocolate in a microwave, dip the caramels in the chocolate and place on a lined baking sheet to set.

Devour, through your non-safe tears.

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Fame Hungry

Procrasti-baking with our celebrity faux-riends

RuPaul’s Drag Race 6

Lygia Gunntini Fizz

Lasanja Estranja

Milk Duds