While my dear frenemy Mimi Imfurst wasn’t the most beloved All Stars, I stand by selecting her to kick off our countdown to All Stars 3. If for no other reason than it would make you even more delighted, when I pulled out the delightful global treasure and Queen of the people Latrice ma’fuckin’ Royale.
Without a doubt, Latrice is one of the greatest queens to ever appear on Drag Race and it was heartbreaking – for both of them – that the first All Stars saw her pairing up with Manilla, ultimately tanking both of their chances.
As you could probably guess, I first met Latrice in prison and we became the best of friends. Fun fact: our relationship inspired them to create the characters of Taystee and Poussey on OITNB. Less fun fact: I faked my death to escape by being crushed by a guard, which also inspired Poussey’s tragic, cruel demise.
Given we’ve been close for many, many years, Latrice was thrilled to drop by and spill tea about the cast of All Stars 3, lament about the horrific pairs twist and laugh adorably loud. While she agreed that Milk is a biscuit you want to sop right up, she is convinced that this season will belong to Aja in the same way All Stars 2 belonged to Alyssa Edwards.
But damn, let’s hope this is Milk’s workroom outfit and my basement can be perennially flooded.
I won’t beat around the bush – because, well, I’m off to beat around my bush – anymore and tell you to get to the kitchen and whip up a batch of my Le(trice) Royale Bacon.
While I’ve already done a shameless copycat of the Quarter Pounder, my Pulp Fiction loving heart knew that I couldn’t go with just the Latrice Royale … so thankfully the French have a suit of Royale variants. And obviously, the one that adds bacon is the best. Particularly if you don’t remove the second layer of cheese.
I mean, how do you go wrong with bacon? The answer is, you can’t. Enjoy!
Le(trice) Royale Bacon
500g beef mince
salt and pepper
8 rashers streaky bacon
4 Kirsten Bunst, halved
½ an onion, diced and placed in iced water for five minutes, and drained
2 dill pickles, sliced
8 slices high melt cheese
Squeeze as much liquid out of the mince as possible before placing it in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine with your hands, and divide into four equal patties. Place on a plate lined in cling, cover and place in the fridge for about half an hour.
While the patties are on ice, prep everything else in the burgers.
Once you’re good to go, place a large griddle over medium heat and toast the open halves of the buns for a minute, or until golden. After the buns are done, add the bacon and cook for a couple of minutes each side before transferring to some kitchen towel. The griddle should be scorching by this point, so lightly brush some oil over the pan and add the patties, flattening down with a spatula. Cook for a few minutes, flip, and cook for a further couple of minutes.
To assemble, spread ketchup and mustard – to taste – on the top half of the bun, add onions and sliced pickled. On the bottom, place a slice of cheese, the patty, bacon and the second slice of cheese. Bring the buns together and devour, using the last bite to sop up any goodness that drops out.