Previously on All Stars Ru auditioned the remaining queens to form a supergroup and collaborate with the iconic Henny. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, Gia continued to focus on the task of driving storylines and creating drama, pestering Farrah all episode and getting into her head before going on stage. Sadly Monique’s homage to Aaliyah was just as bad as Farrah’s attempt to dance landing them in the bottom, while Monet and Valentina slayed the competition. Most surprisingly, Valentina then slayed the lip sync sans mask, snatched the 10,000 doo-lahs and kicked Farrah to the kerb. Despite still loving her.
Back in the Werk Room the queens gave her a round of ooohhhhs before Valentina explained that she eliminated Farrah as she had done poorly in both challenges and she didn’t feel it was fair to give her a third chance before Monique got a second. Which is tragically not very villainous, which is how I like her. That being said, Naomi felt it was a sign that the competition was on and she looked forward to booting some of her friends if given the chance. Latrila pivoted and congratulated Valentina for finally knowing the lyrics in a lip-sync, which annoyed Monet as she felt she also slayed and really wanted the win. Speaking of Monet, she too had selected
Jasmine Masters Farrah. Things obviously went back to Gia who spoke about Farrah telling her she didn’t love her. Oh and while Gia normally brings the drama, Trinity decided to get in on the action and questioned Monet’s outfit decision for the lip sync.
The queens returned the next day to discover they would be doing a Bitchelor-Snatch Game crossover, called the Snatch Game of Love where they would each try and woo a Snatchelor while doing their celebrity impressions. Naomi was nervous about Snatch Game given her failure in Season 8, though she was feeling confident in her choice of Wendy Williams. Monet was feeling good given how she slayed in Season 10, though did admit that she also had the challenge of meeting high expectations. Latrice was hoping this season would feature less romper room fuckery as she plays Della Reese, while Manila was concerned that she has been out of the race for too long and wouldn’t live up to her Imelda Marcos from Season 3.
While Gia tried to pick up Valentina she announced that she would be playing Eartha Kitt in Snatch Game while Gia was planning to play Caitlyn Jenner. Which is conveniently who Trinity was doing, leading to a face-off between the queens with no one buying that Gia should have it because they are both trans. Thankfully Latrice broke the stand-off, deeming Trinity’s Caitlyn better than Gia’s and as such she needed to go with her back-up of Cardi B’s Insta-Celeb nail artist. Of course Gia gave a delightful parting shot, explaining that while trans playing trans would have been nice, an old white plastic bitch playing an old white plastic bitch probably made the most sense. I mean, I know there can be such thing as too much drama but damn Gia keeps things interesting.
With that we arrived at the first Snatch Game of Love panel featuring Monet as my dear Whitney Houston, Naomi as Wendy Williams, Trinity as the successful Caitlyn Jenner – another dear friend – and Valentina as Eartha Kitt vying for the love of my boyfriend Gus Kenworthy – who is almost ready to appear on this patch of cyberspace, FYI. Despite a killer Maya Angelou, Monet struggled with Whitney Houston, bombing alongside Valentina while Trinity steamrolled the competition and won Gus’ heart. Though Naomi did nail it, particularly when she fainted on the way out the door. Oh and mad props to Naomi for loving Trinity owning the competition and Valentina for referencing the greatest movie of all time, The Emperor’s New Groove.
The second panel vying for Keiynan Lonsdale’s affection featured Monique as Tiffany Haddish, Manila and Nicole Kidman’s Hours nose as my dear Barbra Streisand, Gia as Jenny Bui and Latrice as icon and my dearly departed friend Della Reese. Gia came through with enough romper room fuckery to annoy the hell of Latrice and take her out of her role, while Manila rose above the mess and slayed the competition, ultimately winning Keiynan’s heart.
Elimination Day rolled around and Monet was feeling nervous after bombing her panel, though was thankful that Gia bombed harder. On the flipside, Manila congratulated Trinity on owning the competition before they agreed that Gia would be in the bottom with one of Monet, Valentina and I’ll throw in Latrice for good measure. Clearly feeling her oats, Manila floated that while Gia will clearly be in the bottom it may actually be better to take out a threat. Out loud. In front of threats. Meanwhile Gia and Latrice met up with the former apologising for fucking up Latrice’s Snatch Game, and it really seemed genuine. Though I thought that last week.
We then got a nice little interlude hearing about Manila being married and Latrice preparing for his wedding, and finding a love note from his fiancé in his luggage and damn I am crying. Latrice is delightful and I love that she found love. Manila then admitted that she had girlfriends in High School and damn, that is a pivot. Particularly since she had sex with them, since humans are beautiful creatures. Which legit lead to Monet talking about aliens.
On the runway Ru served legs and damn, I am moister than when Gus and Keiynan arrived earlier. Monet kicked off booting the house down, channelling Manila in chanelling Nicole Kidman serving BMX bandits realness. Naomi played Malificent, Trinity slayed in leather and beads, while Valentina wore full body boots with a very bunchy patch of leather in her snatch. Monique was served a nicer version of her offensive Aaliyah outfit by channelling a crafty Red Riding Hood. Manilla owned the runway as a BDSM bunny while Gia was going for a Rhianna denim look, though it was a cringe as Britney’s. Latrice was gorgeous dripping in jewels from tit to toe.
Monet and Monique both finished safe, before Naomi was praised for her Snatch Game performance though read for not really wearing boots. Trinity received glowing praise for literally everything she did, with Ross saying her Caitlyn was one of the best snatches ever. While everyone liked her saggy-crotched outfit, her Snatch Game was panned for studying too hard on Eartha and not having fun. Manila too received praise for literally everything, while Gia’s outfit was liked while, well, we all saw her Snatch Game. Though Gus thanked her for making a difference for the trans community. And Latrice was obviously loved on the runway, though read for being unable to focus while Gia was tearing her down. Obviously Trinity and Manila snatched the win, while Gia was joined in the bottom two by Valentina.
Backstage – while Gus and Keiynan (thumb) wrestled onstage – Trinity pulled Manila aside to see if she was still thinking about taking out a threat. Manila questioned that maybe keeping Gia would be enough to turn her attitude around, and given Valentina won last week it would make sense to take out the competition. Trinity cautioned her that it would instantly make her a target and she needs to weigh up whether it was worth it, working hard to guarantee her friend’s safety. Gia and Manila caught up, with Gia admitting to being overwhelmed by competing in the competition as a trans woman. She then broke down, saying she is sick of being looked at as a man dressing as a woman and she feels like being back is dragging her back to her messier ways. Like me, Manila felt that Gia is trying to be nice and not bring anyone down, but I’m not sure if that is enough to save her.
Meanwhile Trinity pulled Valentina aside to let her know that she will be fighting to win that lip sync, as if Manila wins it is highly likely she will be sending Valentina home over the weaker Gia. Trinity and Gia caught up, with Gia congratulating her on her win and Trinity reminding Gia that no matter what, she supports and loves her. On the other side of the Werk Room Manila admitted to Valentina that she was considering sending her home, before her motives became very clear. Manila floated the idea that she would save her, if she was guaranteed safety from Valentina if the roles were reversed. This obviously pissed off Valentina, who instead opted to challenge her to fight fair and they can battle it out at the top.
In other news, despite it only being thumb wrestling and they weren’t wearing lycra, the boys looked hot as hell and I love it.
Trinity and Manila battled it out to my girl Whitney’s How Will I Know, though Manila honestly won it ten seconds in playing up the giddy, loved up young girl and it was fucking glorious. It was also glorious sitting there for the entire lip sync wondering which way Manila would opt to go when it came it eliminating. Despite her threats Manila opted to go the fair – or safest – route, eliminating Gia and keeping Valentina around to fight another day.
Gia was absolutely not here to find herself eliminated from the competition, though respected that she really didn’t do great in Snatch Game. Given I have known Gia forever – I mean, I am essentially part of the Haus of Edwards given how close I am to Alyssa, Shangie and Laganja – she was thrilled to see someone that truly got and loved her backstage. Particularly since I was packing a tray of Lygia Gunntini Fizzes.
Based off a Nigella recipe, I cut back on the lychee flavour – I find it too much, which is something I never felt I would say – to focus on the burn rather than the sweet floral flavour. But maybe that is your jam, so double the liqueur if it is.
Lygia Gunntini Fizz
60ml white rum
60 ml lychee liqueur
ice, to serve
1 cup soda water
2 lychees, to garnish
Place the white rum, vodka and liqueur in a cocktail shaker, and shake to combine.
Fill two glasses with ice and pour the liquor amongst them. Top with soda water and a lychee.