Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways arrived on the beaches of Samoa divided into Heroes or Villains depending on either how they play the game – for our 11 returnees – or how they intended to, for our newbies. Or their profession, in the case of our journos and real estate agents. As quickly as she came back for her redemption, poor Jackie was medevaced. She was followed by a string of newbies as Anjali, Michael, Mimi, Rogue and Sarah soon followed. George then set his sights on his nemesis Simon, but after a surprise individual immunity challenge we lived through the best tribal council of all time which cost Fraser his spot.
Iconic scream queen Sharni was next to go (back to Yabbie Creek, darl) before the swap (thankfully) cost Paige her spot in the game. We then suffered the tragedy of losing sweet Jordie before my dear friend and legit hero Benjamin Law was shown the door. Internal battles between the Spice Girls caused Stevie to be blindsided just ahead of the merge, before George’s instincts proved correct as Flick turned on them while Matt stayed loyal, allowing the OG Villains to take control and boot David from the game.
For her deception, Flick became Australia’s first ever Queen of the Jury before a lack of mateship sent Sam out. George then broke our hearts by turning on Shonee before the Villains turned their attention back to eliminating Heroes in the form of Shaun and Hayley. George and Simon’s feud finally came to a head with the King booting sweet, power-bottom Simon before Nina became the first Twine to join the jury.
The final four were gagged by Jonathan when he announced that they would be eliminating a juror with Matt and Gerry pushing to get rid of Shonee, given she was 100% in Liz’s corner. Which should have been a warning to George that he would not be making it to the final tribal council again, with the final three newbies banding together to send him to the ALL RETURNEE jury. At the final tribal council Liz well and truly rose to the occasion, laying out a comprehensive, nearly watertight argument why she deserved the win. Before the jury awarded her unanimously, making her our second Olympian to take out the crown. I mean, if presenting to the jury was an Olympic sport, she would come out on top while Sharn, famed barrister and two-time runner-up wouldn’t even qualify.
While the edit may not have shoved it down our throats, there is a very clear reason why Liz was not only the final woman and villain standing, but our newly minted Sole Survivor. And that is because she not only played a hell of a social game but also knew when to make the right moves. It may not have been the most exciting television watching the newbies ride it out with George at the end, however it made the most sense to use him as a shield as he will always be easy to eliminate at the end (another reason Sandra should actually always make it to the end, but people get too excited) as their best shot was with each other.
Despite Matt opting to eliminate Shonee from the jury for being a locked in Liz vote, he clearly underestimated the bonds she made and how well she would be able to articulate her game. Which is why he landed in second and she joins our iconic pantheon of winners. As the fireworks settled, I pulled her in for a massive hug – did you know I was a champion pole vaulter and we became friends on the circuit? – and thanked her for keeping us fed this season. More important than winning the title, she also managed to put an end to the long running Survivor curse and that is worth celebrating, with a glorious Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza.
This pizza is so delicious, it is hardly a surprise it had the power to end the curse. The earthiness of the asparagus works perfectly with the salty tang of the prosciutto and the creamy ricotta to deliver a pizza fit for the newest queen.
Enjoy!
Liz Parciuttov & Asparagus Pizza Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ⅔ cup ricotta kosher salt and pepper, to taste 1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed and cut into lengths 1 lemon, zested 2 tbsp chives, thinly sliced ½ cup parmesan cheese, grated 6 slices of prosciutto, roughly chopped
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Spread a thin layer of ricotta over the bases, followed by a sprinkle of salt and a good whack of pepper. Add the asparagus, lemon zest, chives and parmesan, before topping with the prosciutto. Transfer to the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden and crisp.
Serve and devour triumphantly, knowing you’re the one person great enough to break an epic(ish) curse.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Nina told George that Hayley told her about his cash prize, setting the stage for her blindside at the hands of her runner-up. After Liz took out an epic overnight spa reward, she locked in a final three deal with her guests, George and Nina, which TBH, gives off big Russell, Parvati and Sandra energy, so I am all in on it. After Simon won yet another immunity, the tribe locked in the plan to blindside Hayley. Not to be outdone, Hayley meanwhile was rallying Simon to join her to blindside George. Sadly for her, Nina wasn’t on board with said plan which meant Queen Hayley was tragically felled from the competition. This time without exile in sight to save her.
The next day George, Matt, Gerry and Nina woke up to watch the sunrise together with George disappointed to have lost his biggest rival though he was confident in his chances to make it to the end. Since he has two final three deals, because that sort of behaviour never comes back to blindside you. Particularly when you eliminated the two other massive threats coming into the season. Simon meanwhile was still left right out, though bless, openly told the tribe that he has absolutely nothing to lose and as such, if people need a number, they need to pull him in before it is too late. He then admitted to us that he may have bumbled through the post-merge, but it has actually left him in a good position as everyone underestimates him which could give him a different narrative to pitch the jury.
After filling up on some coconut, he went to the shore to talk to Matt, telling him that they need to talk sooner rather than later if he wants to make a move on George. While Matt was quiet, Simon powered ahead and told him that he is nothing more than George’s pawn and it is very obvious that is what the jury thinks of him, so he will not win unless he does something. Which is 100% correct. As Simon gave Gerry the same pitch, Matt reported back to George and while the latter pretended it was not the case, he laughed to us in confessional that that is all Matt is. Simon returned to camp to openly call everyone pawns for just mindlessly following George. This annoyed Liz who told Simon his actions have left him on the bottom and that is why she will never work with him before storming off, telling him she can’t deal with him anymore.
Poor Matt meanwhile broke down in confessional, admitting Simon’s words had gotten to him because he truly believes what he is saying and that he doesn’t know how to prove himself in the game. We then got another little personal story of Matt being away from his pregnant wife and that while he is struggling, he wants to focus so he can win the money for his family. So maybe he is ready to make a move after all? Feeling hurt to have been left out of the Hayley blindside, Matt approached Gerry to float the fact he thinks George made a deal with Nina and Liz at the reward and as such, he is wary of them as a rival trio, given George has a history of turning on his allies before they can get him. Deciding Simon is his best shot, Matt pulled him and Nina aside to float the idea of working together at the next vote, hoping Simon isn’t immune so the tribe is distracted by him. With Matt just begging Simon not to screw him over and tell George.
Which is either exactly what happens, or we’re finally getting the blindside.
The tribe joined with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to stand on narrow pedestals and keep a hand on an idol with the last person standing winning. So yeah, the iconic Hands on a Hard Idol challenge, but with individual stations. After 15 minutes JLP got bored and told them to move down to their narrowest pegs which instantly cost George his place, followed closely by Nina. The remaining four made it to 45 minutes before Jonathan made things even harder, making everyone spread across the two furthest apart pegs before Liz slipped out nowhere leaving Matt, Gerry and Simon to battle it out. After an hour and twenty minutes, Simon slipped off while stretching before the duo opted to go down to a single foot to speed up the challenge, ultimately costing Gerry and handing immunity to Matt.
Back at camp the tribe congratulated Matt on his win, barely able to contain their excitement to finally be able to get rid of Simon. He thankfully is a resilient king, asking the tribe if anyone wants to tell him where to put his vote, with George calmly telling him no. While he tried to talk to Matt, George pulled him and Gerry aside to try and keep things chaotic between his two alliances, locking in a split between Nina and Simon. George then dropped by the girls, telling Nina to put a single vote on Gerry just in case. Gloating to us about how making it a 2-2-1-1 vote will guarantee his safety, when in fact, it looks to have overcomplicated things. Simon and Matt finally caught up with the latter suggesting now would actually be the right time to blindside George and hot damn, is this about to get very exciting as George’s arrogance comes back to bite him?
While Matt was being genuine, poor Simon has grown wary of always being sold a decoy plan and as such, wanted to check in with Nina. Matt and George went idol hunting, giggling around as besties while Nina cautioned Simon about trusting Matt, floating the idea of instead targeting Gerry given they have all heard the plans to get rid of George before. And they have all been lies fed to them by his closest allies. George started to grow paranoid that something was afoot, so caught up with Nina and Matt with Nina accidentally talking about throwing a vote on Gerry. Which immediately made Matt concerned that George is telling everyone lies – he is – and more convinced than ever that he needs to take the shot at George.
At tribal council Matt spoke about how he laughed through the challenge, though admitted it was still painful. Simon meanwhile was terrified given he is no longer immune, with George pointing out that he is only still here because of his immunity, before cautioning everyone else that the end is in sight and everyone needs to focus on finding a clear path to make it to the end and not get distracted. Nina meanwhile wasn’t sure if she could trust what she has been told at this point, with Matt agreeing he isn’t sure what exactly to trust as Liz spoke about everyone flipping and getting antsy. Just as Nina and Simon whispered in the middle.
Gerry on the other hand was solid with his alliance and ready to ride things out, while Nina was worried about figuring out what her best choice was. While Matt just wanted to make the right choice for him moving forward, rather than someone else, as Simon laughed about not even having that luxury. Talk turned to resumes, with Nina pointing out that an extensive resume may help at the end, but it also makes you a massive threat to getting there. Simon started to whisper to Matt about flipping, while George whispered to Liz about being scared that they’ve lost Matt. He then went hard about it being unwise to throw away trust this late in the game, while Nina said that action is the only thing that matters at this point. George and Liz then spoke Russian – iconic – and flipped their votes on to Nina as Matt and Simon gave each other looks and Gerry was just left right out.
With that the tribe voted before Jonathan gagged them with the information that the two highest vote getters would not be voted out, instead going into Survivor isolation. Aka locked in a pen away from camp, only eating and drinking what people are willing to deliver them, unable to communicate with anyone unless they visit and worst of all, unable to compete in the next immunity challenge and only should they survive the next vote, they return to camp as normal. Five votes then piled up on Nina with her solitary vote dooming Gerry to join him, meaning shit is about to hit the fan.
Back at camp Gerry and Nina made their way to – triggering language warning – iso, where Gerry questioned how she ended up with five votes, given that was not the plan. Nina obviously had no clue, outlining to Gerry that she was told to vote for him by George, as the plan was meant to be Simon, though Gerry was clearly a back-up. And while he doesn’t usually trust people talking smack about George, he believed Nina instantly and was ready to bring him down. Speaking of George, he was busy explaining how the vote switched to Nina and while Liz felt Gerry would be angry, Matt assured them they had nothing to worry about. Right on cue, it appeared he did have something to worry about as Nina continued to spill secrets to Gerry, outing the jacuzzi alliance. As the duo were talking in their cage, Simon dropped by to check in on them, wondering how in the hell he was still in the game. He pointed out that Gerry is clearly on the bottom and he needs to make a move, as George loitered in the trees eavesdropping. Just as Gerry ominously assured them that when you cross him, he will bounce you.
The next day George was rightly super rattled, so as the duo slept he dropped by isolation to deliver them a chair to sit on. After returning to camp he continued to spiral, with Liz very much warning him and Matt that they need to keep Gerry happy as Nina is scorned and has information that is powerful enough to flip the game. George returned to take credit for the chair as Matt and Liz joined him to make sure they actually kept him happy. George explained that he just got nervous at tribal council and thought Matt was going to be blindsiding Gerry, so flipped to save him. And while Gerry appeared to believe George’s lies, Nina rightly pointed out George was only saying things to get that exact reaction and as such, he needs to stop trusting and make a move against him. As all he cares about is winning.
The remaining four dropped by JLP where they would have to stack blocks around a hanging table while rotating it to feed through a window, with the first to knock them all the way around like dominoes taking out immunity. Simon obviously got out to an early lead while Liz, Matt and George continuously dropped theirs. As he got further and further along, Simon began to slow allowing Matt to close the gap while George and Liz both discovered that they had placed theirs too closely. Simon and Matt also discovered they had spaced theirs too closely as they raced to spread them out further, before Matt knocked his over just ahead of Simon, snatching immunity by a literal second. As George assured Simon they would talk later.
Back at camp Nina was mentally preparing Gerry for the fact she is the plan and he just needs to convince them he is on board, with her working on Simon and Gerry responsible for getting Matt over the line to blindside George. As the other four returned, Simon was left alone as George, Matt and Liz locked in a plan to split the vote on Simon and Nina, assuring them that he would not get nervous and change his mind again. George looped in Simon, assuring him that Nina is the plan though admitted the split will be on him, with Simon happily locked in with George given he knows he really has no options at all. Or so he thought.
George dragged Matt to isolation to get Gerry on board with repeating the original plan from the last tribal council to get rid of Nina but split on Simon. Nina being a wise icon, after the duo departed, she pointed out that George made Matt do all the talking given the fact Gerry doesn’t exactly trust him. While Matt was busy back at the shelter warning George that something felt off, given Gerry was actively trying to protect Nina. Simon was next to drop by isolation, straight up floating the plan to get rid of George, while he in turn spiralled to Liz about the fact that he could cop three votes and should that happen, he will go home. Matt then dropped by with Gerry only keen to make a move if his bestie is on board and while it seemed like the vote against George might actually happen, Matt was still nervous about making a move. Knowing the tides were turning, George dropped by to assure Gerry that he is his number one ally and that after playing 90 days in a row, he is honestly at the point he is just happy to come third. And no Gerry, make a move, don’t fall for it.
At tribal council Gerry spoke about how he enjoyed bonding with Nina while in isolation while Nina agreed it was great to reflect on everything that has happened in the game and focus on what is really happening. Gerry meanwhile had George bricking it, talking about how long it takes to build trust but warning that it can be broken very quickly. George jumped in and told the narrative that he flipped the vote to Nina to try and save Gerry, rather than himself, while Simon just smiled about having once again narrowly avoided certain doom. Nina spoke about the fact George has been on edge all day, meaning the panic wasn’t an isolated incident. Which was only made worse when Matt said he was ready to make moves that benefit only his endgame.
Simon hilariously opened up about the fact he called three players left in the game pawns, telling everyone that way too many are playing for George’s win rather than their own. Before outlining said pawns were Gerry, Matt and Liz. He told them that now is one of the last moments to make a move ahead of final tribal council and given it is a life changing amount of money, they need to play to win. Sadly his plea angered Gerry, who explained that Gerry is not a pawn, instead George has acted as a coach and mentor and he is grateful to him for everything he has learnt in the game. While Nina hilariously whispered to Simon that Gerry is clearly not going to be voting for George.
With that the tribe voted piling up 3-3 on Nina and Simon before George finally got his wish on the revote, eliminating his nemesis Simon. Who was obviously an absolute delight, thanking his fellow competitors and praising them on a game well played. As he arrived at the Jury Villa, he was rightly applauded for carrying the season on his shoulders. I mean sure, he had to follow my screaming, heartbroken cries to find Jury Villa, but once he found it, I pulled him in for a massive hug – the kind he would climb Shaun to give – and thanked him for keeping us fed week after week. And by us, I mean the gays. His storyline was honestly iconic, starting out as the cocky alpha before being humbled and becoming a hilarious, happy and self-aware king who earned his place as one of the greats. So great, in fact, I felt bad I could only offer him a Simonscow Meeule to toast his success.
Like Simon, this spicy little number is an absolute delight. Packing the classic warmth and punch of a moscow mule, the addition of chilli adds just enough interest to keep us engaged (or enraged, from the heat).
Enjoy!
Simonscow Meeule Serves: 4.
Ingredients ½ cup vodka ⅓ cup lime juice 2 cups ginger beer ice, to serve 1 long red chilli, sliced on the diagonal mint leaves, to serve
Method Combine the vodka, lime juice and ginger beer in a jug and stir to combine.
Add some ice to four tumblers, followed by some chilli and mint before filling each glass with the gingery liquor. Then down and repeat as required until you accept you’re now an icon. Just like Shonee.
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Previously on Australian Survivor George was playing 5D chess as he told Hayley about his secret $60K prize at the auction, not as a way to get her to take him to the end as she assumed but to act as a canary in the coal mine for her turning on him. After his attempts to work with the OG Heroes at the previous tribal council, though when he won immunity George had to pivot. Despite Shaun and Nina being on the bottom without any more idols to save them, George started to grow concerned about how close Shiz were and as such, used Hayley and Nina to blindside arguably the biggest threat to win, Shonee, instead. Breaking the heart of the nation and ruining the month of March for me.
Back at camp Simon marvelled at how great the blindside was as Liz and George immediately caught up, with him taking full credit for the move but assuring her he feels horrible about it. Though he did admit that this turn of events now makes it easier for the two of them to win, before he promised that the two of them will still be there to face off at the final challenge. He went back to Hayley and Matt to assure them that Liz is still 100% on their side, gloating to us about how well he played it all. The next morning however it was very clear how wrong he was, as George and the tribe joked around while Liz stared daggers at him. In her confessional she broke down in tears, heartbroken to have not only lost her bestie but to have been lied to by the entire tribe. And while she felt all alone at the bottom, she vowed to bide her time and take George down at the right time.
As he dressed up as Shonee and she pretended to laugh. And oh God, I am here for her Natalie Anderson revenge arc.
George caught up with Gerry and once again incorrectly assured him that nothing has changed with Liz, so now they just power ahead as a group of five rather than six. Which was also formerly seven. As such, he turned his attention back to Nina, Shaun and Simon, vowing to exacerbate tensions between them to keep them from pulling off any moves together. Speaking of Simon, he was next to chat with George, pointing out that he did what he was asked at the previous tribal council and as such, wanted to know if he would protect him at the next vote. With George assuring him that he, Hayley and Matt all see it that way, so he is good. Simon then pointed out that he has had very little agency throughout the season and as such, is unlikely to get many votes at the end before straight up floating the idea of them going to the final two together.
Sadly George then told us that when the vote changed to Shonee, the deal changed. So poor, sweet Simon is once again in danger.
The tribe reconnected with my love JLP for the reward challenge where they would use their feet to release some blocks, organise them and then stack them onto a three level tower and place a flag on top. For one of two cars and a little picnic. Matt whipped out in front from the very first moments while everyone else took a more slow and steady approach. Nina overtook him when it came to building as Simon and Liz closed the gap. Shaun meanwhile was a mess while Hayley was surprisingly almost just bad, making me feel like she is throwing it to avoid the car curse. Simon eventually took out the lead as he powered through the third level with Nina and Matt right behind. Until Nina dropped a couple, that is. In any event, it didn’t really matter as Simon continued to power through, placed his flag and guaranteed he would not be winning the game. After breaking down in tears over such an epic victory, everyone hugged him before Shaun begged to go with him on the reward. After selecting his ute, he opted to take not Shaun but Matt and Hayley. Before JLP chose to be kind and let him choose one more person. With him shockingly once again not opting for Shaun, but Nina.
The foursome disappeared to celebrate Simon’s win with their epic feast, joyfully eating everything in sight before everyone spoke about how shocked – and grateful – they were to Simon for picking them to go along. Hayley knew it was a good chance for some strat chat and given Simon is super eager to play, asked him if there was a specific reason why he chose the three of them to come. With him hilariously saying no, given he had no options anyway. He then told everyone that George told him to vote Shaun last night to save himself, while Nina opened up about her own deal with George and that they really can’t let him get anywhere near the final five. While Matt straight up told them he didn’t think he would ever turn on George. For some reason that made Hayley feel like it was the right time to get messy, telling everyone about George’s $60K win at the auction. And while she thinks it will rally everyone and help them take George down, I feel telling Matt will be the actual undoing. Tragically, hers.
The groups came back together for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to squat against a wall to try and balance an idol on a ledge with the last person holding up their idol taking out victory. Almost instantly Matt became the first to go and followed by George, as Jonathan speculated the challenge would be over within ten minutes. Liz was next to drop, followed by Gerry at two minutes before Hayley dropped out of nowhere as Simon shook hard. Hayley tried to keep Shaun focused before Simon dropped, leaving Nina to fight it out against the athlete to be the first Twine to win individual immunity. After ten minutes both of them were struggling badly before Shaun finally dropped, taking out the win for the Twine family. And ugh, I’m as proud as Sandra would be right now!
Back at camp the tribe quickly got to work scrambling, with George pulling Shaun aside to float the idea of getting rid of Simon. He laid it on thick, pointing out that once Simon is gone, the entire tribe opens up as everyone settles on the endgame and that he truly sees value in them working together. George then caught up with Hayley, Matt and Nina, locking them in on a solid vote for Simon. Hayley however was ready to make a(nother) move and as such, pushed hard to split the vote between Shaun and Simon so she could dictate who goes home. Liz joined them and they quickly locked in the split before George approached Shaun to let him know about it too. Though once again assured him that things will get better tomorrow. That is if he is still there, thanks to Hayley.
George returned to camp and looped Gerry in on the plan, praising it for being completely foolproof. The only potential complication to it however, was Nina, who he just isn’t sure he can trust. As such, he pulled her aside and begged her to hold firm on the plan and while she assured him she is good, he wasn’t sure. He then found Hayley and spoke to her about his fears and once again, she promised they were fine. Sadly for him, he didn’t factor in Simon and given he had spent the afternoon being ignored, he was also ready to make a move given something is clearly afoot. And since Matt has already said he will never turn on George, Simon suggested they get rid of him instead. He and Shaun locked it in before approaching Liz to see if she’d be interested in working with them. And when she was, they rallied Nina and Hayley to see if they’d be willing to take the shot.
While George was just confident he was making it to the end again, unaware that there are multiple plans on the table and without Shonee around as a shield, he is now the biggest threat. Which is wild, given a winner is there.
At tribal council George opened up how great Shonee looks, though was using her as a reminder that anything can happen at tribal council and you can never let your guard down. Otherwise you get taken out. Liz meanwhile spoke about how sad she is to be without Shonee, fairly throwing George under the bus for being the cause of her demise though admitted she had to move on, otherwise she will be cut. Shaun meanwhile was grateful to have been saved at the last couple of tribal councils, though continued to advocate for people in the majority to use him – swoon – to make a move. Before Simon spoke about how Shonee going simply transferred power from the Spice Girls, to George, Gerry and Matt, meaning he was still on the outs. And George is still in power. While George tried to laugh it off, Matt started to spook and questioned whether Simon was still the plan.
Talk turned to Nina’s victory, with her sweetly saying she will keep it as a surprise for her mum. Liz mentioned that everyone should be feeling nervous without immunity, while Hayley reminded them that they now need to turn their attention to who they face off against in the final three. With George saying if you haven’t done that yet, you may as well just go to the jury now. Simon theatrically got up to wander off – bless – before talking about George telling he has done nothing to justify the win, leading to yet another blow-up between them as Simon – again, bless – told him trying is sometimes enough. He then admitted to being nervous, unsure how to rebuild trust this late in the game. With that the tribe voted and the smile was promptly wiped off George’s face as Hayley switched her vote and sent Shaun out of the game. As George vowed to get revenge on Nina for flipping, as he praised his spot-on instincts to Hayley on their walk back to camp.
As Shaun arrived at the Jury Villa, I was inspired by Simon at the previous immunity challenge and straight up climbed him like a tree for a hug. Once again, Shaun played an exceptionally strong game, which is sometimes forgotten because he looks and is built the way he is. He has solid reads on the game, builds loyalty, is strategic and most importantly, kind and likeable, meaning people naturally gravitate to him. Add in the fact he is 9 foot and hot as hell – not to be mistaken for rotting in hell or rawting in heal, which Tom Sandavol should do – and well, you’ve got an all around strong player that will make it to the merge, but will never win given he is the target. Which more than earned him a big fat platter of regal Coronashaun Chicken Hampsondwiches.
Originated way back when at the last coronation of the British Empire, these sandwiches may not be everyone’s cup of tea (see what I did there?), but they are jam packed with flavour. Sweet and tangy, they are a decadent way to celebrate a solid run and toast the way that is king of our loins. And long may he reign (on me).
Enjoy!
Coronashaun Chicken Hampsondwiches Serves: 2.
Ingredients ¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain 2 tbsp Joe Manngo Chutney 2 tsp curry powder 1 lemon, zested and juiced 2 tsp dijon mustard 1 tsp celery salt 1-2 cups roast chicken, shredded butter, for spreading 4 slices sourdough 1 cup baby spinach leaves
Method Combine the mayo, chutney, curry powder, lemon zest and juice, mustard and salt in a bowl and toss through the chicken until well coated. If you want a lighter flavour hit, go with more chicken.
To assemble, butter the bread and divide the mixture between two slices. If you went with more chicken, however, you can probably get more sandwiches out of it, so build to taste. Anyway, top the mixture with some baby spinach and close with the remaining bread. For full royal flair, cut into triangles. Otherwise just devour greedily.
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Previously on Survivor three powerboats sped through the ocean off Fiji to deliver 18 new victims to our lord and saviour Jeffrey Probst. Emphasis on victims, as poor Bruce hit his head during the first challenge and proceeded to bleed litres of blood until the challenge was paused for medical. After giving him the all clear to continue in the game, the challenge continued and somehow his Tika tribe powered ahead. That is until Carolyn got stuck at the end and the other tribes overtook them, with Soka winning supplies outright. Ratu meanwhile selected to earn theirs using brawn, leaving TIka to get theirs via smarts. Later that night the tribe joyfully had fire and settled in before Bruce deteriorated to the point where medical returned and he was tragically pulled from the game with a concussion.
The next day Ratu were the final tribe to get fire as they quickly became grateful for Matthew, given he was so good at building their camp for them. He opened up about having a massive spirit of adventure and that he came out to prove to his husband and son that they can do anything and ugh, I love him. Sadly his sense of adventure led to him climbing a massive rock and promptly falling off, dislocating his shoulder in the process. And while he popped it back in, the medic was called to camp as he started to bleed everywhere from his foot, worrying his stupidity would cost him his place in the game. Thankfully though, the hardest working doctor cleared him to stay in the game though Matthew started to worry about whether he would even be able to compete in the upcoming challenge. Unaware that they will sadly be able to sit someone out.
Back at Tika Carson was quickly locking in an alliance with Sarah and Helen, which breaks my heart given Carolyn and Yam Yam are the absolute best casting choices in years. Carolyn meanwhile knew she was on the bottom, given nobody had spoken to her and as such, she approached Helen to say she didn’t want to follow anyone around to chase friends but she was interested to chat if she was. Before we got an epic supercut of her hilariously being loud and kooky.
A boat dropped by the camps where they learnt one person from each would be going on an adventure, with Yam Yam suggesting they pull sticks at Tika with Sarah getting lucky. Soka did the same, with Matt disappointed to rep his tribe while Lauren drew the black rock to seal her fate. Which she rigged in her favour, like an icon. While she was gone however, the tribe speculated what she would tell them when she came back before they agreed to hunt for the key in her absence, while Maddy speculated the cage may only be there to cause chaos. Thankfully though, Brandon quickly found the key in front of her and while he thought he was being stealth, she spotted him leaving him to admit he found it. Despite Brandon wanting to tell everyone, Maddy suggested they talk it out first and while she was hoping it would bond them, it made him distrustful of her, so he instead opened it in front of everyone and confirmed that the cage was home to both an idol and fake one.
Over at Journey Island, Lauren, Matt and Sarah introduced themselves before walking to the top of the where they learnt they would each split up on their own paths where they learnt they would have to pull an item out of a bag, two of which lose will cause them to lose their votes and the the third being an advantage. The trick being if they lose their vote on the first pull, they can pull a second one and try again, either jagging the advantage or losing twice. Sadly Sarah lost her vote at the next tribal council before jagging the new inheritance advantage, which is where she can collect every advantage played at a future tribal council. Matt too lost his vote on the first try, though sadly had bad luck on his second too, leaving him voteless for two rounds. On the flipside, Lauren jagged the advantage on her first try getting the new Bank Your Vote advantage meaning she can forgo voting at an upcoming tribal council and hold on to the parchment for a later date.
Matt was first to get back to his camp with him only admitting he lost one of his votes. Sarah meanwhile told the tribe she risked her vote but wasn’t sure if she gained an advantage yet, while Lauren told them what the advantage on the table was but pretended she didn’t have it.
The tribe joined with Probst for the first immunity challenge of the season where Ratu and Soka were heartbroken to see that Bruce had in fact been medevaced. Though Probst assured them that now that he is in hospital, he is doing much better and will make a full recovery. But back to the challenge, where the tribes would race out in a boat to a buoy, dive off and swim to release a chest and then pull it over a track to unlock a slide puzzle. And then solve said puzzle, with first and second place being immune and third tribe joining Probst at tribal council. Matthew and Claire took their places on the sitout bench before all tribes were neck and neck as they swam to release their chests. Soka started to pull out in front as Ratu and Tika got stuck on the shore.
Eventually everyone caught up at the puzzle, while on the benches Claire was inspired by Shonee and Liz in Australia, whispering to Matthew what the person told them about the island, outing Lauren as a liar in the process. Medical made their fourth appearance of the premiere as Brandon was pulled off the course to cool down and get fluids before the challenge restarted and Soka quickly pulled out victory before Tika narrowly saved themselves, sending Ratu to the first tribal council of the season.
Back at camp Brandon apologised for letting the tribe down, while Matthew in particular was frustrated to have injured himself and not help in the challenge. He took the information Claire gave him during the challenge back to Brandon and Kane, with them quickly locking in the vote against Lauren. Meanwhile she was chatting with Maddy who was busy talking shit about Brandon, pointing out he doesn’t have their back and can’t be trusted due to the idol. They approached Jamie about banding together to get rid of him instead and leave the women to take control. Sadly for them, Jamie was nervous about everything and as such, was considering playing her Shot in the Dark. Maddy pulled Kane aside and told them the girls were planning to target Brandon and while Kane wasn’t thrilled about losing his strength too soon, he also just wanted to be on the right side of the first vote..
Which TBH, seems like something nobody could even predict at this point, given they entire tribe are all over the shop.
At tribal council Jamie spoke about how tense everyone was while Matthew was concerned about which plan will come together, given so many names were thrown out. Brandon agreed that there was a lot of confusion back at camp, while Lauren was feeling tense despite having a few little allies to lean on. Jamie spoke about knowing about at least one advantage since Brandon found the idol in front of everyone, which Matthew pointed out was better than someone keeping secrets. Brandon reiterated that he didn’t know he was going for an idol when he unlocked the cage, while Kane was hopeful tribal council would give him a little clarity, while Maddy was hopeful they would just be stronger as a group. While Brandon agreed he was looking to get rid of a weaker link. Before voting Jamie spoke about the fact she will be playing her Shot in the Dark, given her vote shouldn’t even matter tonight. Which immediately spooked Brandon.
With that the tribe voted, well, at least some of them, as Lauren banked her vote and Matthew joined Jamie in playing his Shot in the Dark. The latter of which became the first to actually be played correctly. Given the chaos, Brandon then played his idol which negated two of the three that were cast, sending Maddy out of the game with only a single vote.
As she arrived at Loser Lodge Maddy was obviously bummed to be out of the game so soon, though I reminded her that going out on a tribal council of firsts is alway memorable. And as such, she is now robbed and we queer folk will rally behind her right to play again and dominate. Similar to how Wentworth became a thing, I guess. While it wasn’t my best pep talk, she cheered up know an entire community would now be behind her as I toasted her hopeful return with a Maddy Snowbilla.
While on paper a snowball always seemed a little yuck, after taking the plunge – because alcohol is alcohol, ok? – I quickly fell in love. Sweet with a quick of tart, it is the perfect way to refresh your spirit on a cool evening.
Enjoy!
Maddy Snowbilla Serves: 1 robbed icon.
Ingredients ice 1 tbsp lime juice, plus lime wedges to garnish ¼ cup advocaat ½ cup lemonade
Method Fill an old fashioned or highball glass with ice, followed by the lime juice, advocaat and then the lemonade.
Stir gently, top with a lime wedge and down. Repeat as desired.
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Previously on Australian Survivor on the bottom with dwindling options, Shaun revealed his idol to Simon, anointing him his closest ally as they locked in a plan to blindside George. After Simon won immunity and climbed Shaun like we all want to, George was spooked by their growing closeness. The Vigilantes planned to split the vote on Nina and Shaun given Sam is not exactly the most strategic person. That is until Simon left the group and they agreed to load all their votes on Sam, to navigate around a Simon flip. Sadly for George, Hayley was also planning on making a move against him, telling Nina the real plan and advising her to use any idols they had on Sam given they won’t be doing a split. With Shaun’s idol in hand, Nina improved their chances further by jagging a second. Despite having three out of their four people immune, however, the Heroes and Simon botched the double idol play resulting in Sam’s exit.
The next day Shiz were busy hunting for crabs and doing best friend shit, with Shonee particularly thrilled to have all the power in the game on top of having a bestie. She spoke about how close they are before venturing to the ocean to plot who would be the smartest people to take to the end, agreeing Gerry is easiest to beat in challenges while Simon is a bit of a joke. The one person they know they can’t hang with, however, is George, given everyone will assume they rode his coattails. And they were happy to lose to each other, but not him. Oh and then Shonee wandered off and found yet another idol which honestly is just Queen shit. As is her plan to use it to have a fun little blindside.
Shaun and Nina however were feeling far less zen, bonding over how screwed they kind of are after their spectacular blunder with the idols. They agreed the smartest thing to do was keep quiet about Hayley leaking information, given it means they could still use her in the future. Simon meanwhile was explaining why he moved to Hayley – unaware she also tried to flip – while George went person to person talking about how stupid Simon is. Seeing this, Nina decided it was in her best interests to throw him under the bus, approaching the Vigilantes to work with them to get rid of Simon the instant he doesn’t have immunity. Oh and then she and Shaun decided they probably still need an idol to seal the deal, despite not having the best track records.
With the duo off hunting for idols, the Vigilantes discussed who would be the smartest to take out next and while Hayley and Matt felt Simon was easy – given that is what George wants – Shonee knew it was a bad idea, given Shaun and Nina have more friends on the jury and Simon’s gameplay has been far from winning. The Spice Girls and Hayley caught up with Shonee calmly trying to explain why they need to put Simon on the backburner, particularly since the immunities get less physical as they go along, meaning he will get less and less threatening.
Shonee and Liz then sneakily ate rice by the shelter as everyone else was away, unaware that George was lurking behind and heard them refer to themselves as Shiz rather than the Spice Girls. And well, let’s just say, he was pissed. Later that night, George woke up and paced the shoreline as he simmered in rage, before Gerry woke up and joined him. George unleashed about how hurt he was and floated making a move sooner rather than later. And oh God, please don’t break up yet, I can’t handle it!
The tribe met Jonathan for the latest epic immunity challenge which would play out across three stages. The first would see them race to land three sandbags on a disc with the first six to finish moving on. In the next stage they would have to toss sandbags to knock rungs off a ladder and then use them to build a bridge with the first three to finish going to the final round where they would be tethered to a spinning platform and have to stack 10 discs into a tower with the first to finish winning. Simon was the first to move on to the second round, followed by Gerry, Matt, Liz, Shaun and Hayley. In the second round Shaun pulled out in front as Hayley and Simon nipped at his heels, while George whispered to Nina that he just doesn’t want either of the boys to win. Sadly for him however, they made it to the final round with Hayley. Simon got out to an early lead, while Shaun continued to botch the balancing as Hayley quietly worked away. Until she dropped, giving Simon plenty of breathing room to place the final disc and secure immunity. Again.
Back at camp everyone gave Simon some half hearted congratulations before he, Nina and Shaun went for a walk to the well, leaving the Vigilantes to lock in the split vote between Nina and Shaun. The minority meanwhile focused on hunting for an idol as Simon went back to chat with the Vigilantes, with him suggesting they work together for this vote and that he will just lock in who he will vote for when the time comes. Obviously George hated that idea, given he wants control, so he agreed to work with Simon once again and not come for him until the OG Heroes are gone. But only if he votes for Shaun.
George returned to the shelter to fill Shiz in on the plan and while they were happy with things, they went into the ocean to wash off together and talk about how happy they would be if the other person won. Sadly George watched on, growing more and more jealous of their closeness until he suggested to us that Shonee is so dangerous to his game that maybe now is the time to take the shot. And ugh, I fucking hate it here.
As the tribe gathered to eat dinner, the girls fed each other as George looked on angrily. He pulled Gerry aside to float the idea of getting rid of Shonee and while he was keen on it, he cautioned that now is not the right time and told George they just need to hold firm for a few more rounds. As such, George pulled Hayley aside to get a different answer with her obviously thrilled by the idea, wanting to play a fun, messy game. Which obviously filled George with joy as he suggested to her that while Liz will be angry, he will happily beg for her forgiveness tomorrow. He went back to Gerry to fill him in, who in turn told Matt, while George went to rope in Nina. Horrifically, it all fell into place very quickly as everyone was ready to get rid of Shonee ASAP, given she is such a massive threat. While she spoke to Matt about feeling nervous, given she has been the one to blow up 3-3 votes from the minority in the past.
At tribal council – where I was ready to vom and cry all at once – Simon spoke about how immunity is the only thing that saved him tonight, meaning either Shaun or Nina are going home. Nina played coy about hearing word of people jumping ship as Shaun whispered to her asking what George had wanted to talk to her about back at camp, with her just assuring him they are fine. Liz spoke about the alliance being solid and steamrolling to the end, while Shonee was equally as confident as George spoke about sticking to a deal that was cut post immunity challenge. Matt, Simon and Shonee all mentioned they heard about the deals, while Matt and Shonee agreed George’s deals are always solid. George spoke about how they need to make moves when they have numbers, while Shonee whispered to Liz whether they should be worried. With Liz assuring her they are fine.
Talk turned to timing, with Shonee reiterating that it is too early to make a move and doing it too soon often screws you out of alliances and stops you from making it to the end. Nina joked about them definitely being at the right point of the season to make a move, so to join her, while George spoke about how making moves at the right time is simply when you have the numbers. Nina whispered to Shaun that it won’t be him going home tonight, making him confident enough to speak up and tell the majority that if they don’t know how they are proceeding beyond the six, then they are likely not making it to the end. With that the tribe voted and despite our queen feeling uncomfortable about a 3-3 vote, she held firm onto her idol and was tragically blindsided from the game. As Liz looked on enraged – just like me! – while George thought winking at the jury would make them like him, rather than hate him.
While Shonee was her usual positive, delightful self as she arrived at the Jury Villa, I was an absolute mess. I was screaming, I was shaking, I had had it. Officially. I went full Laura Dern in Enlightened on poor Sam and Flick – coincidentally created by King Mike White – until Shonee arrived and pulled me, her number one cherub in for a hug. After a day or so – just ahead of the next boot, TBH – I stopped crying long enough to congratulate her on such a strong game. Despite this being her lowest placement, she absolutely dominated the game and proved she is far and away the best player of the franchise. She then got me talking about pilates, which is now my personality – I do it with David Wenham, which is a true sentence – giving me enough strength to toast her third game with a delicious Lemonee Buttell Cake. In preparation for her fourth, winning game.
Like Shonee, this cake is near perfection. Sweet, a little zesty and a hint of salt, working together to give you a joyous (viewing) experience. Oh and the lemon butter creates a glorious, gooey centre which is just perfection.
Ingredients 300g raw caster sugar 2 lemons, zested and juiced ¾ tsp sea salt 3 eggs, at room temperature, 2 separated 227g unsalted butter, melted and cooled 330g flour 2 ½ tsp baking powder 250g cream cheese, softened 225g icing sugar, plus extra for dusting
Method Preheat the oven to 170C and line a 22cm round pan with baking paper, leaving an overhang to help remove the cake later.
In a large bowl, combine the caster sugar with half the zest and ½ tsp of salt using your fingers until it is a fragrant, yellow mixture. Add the whole egg, half the lemon juice and cooled butter and whisk to combine before folding through the flour and baking powder until just combined. Transfer to the lined pan, smoothing out the top.
Using a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and icing sugar together until it forms a smooth, soft batter. Add the egg yolks, remaining salt, lemon zest and juice, and beat until smooth. Pour on top of the cake and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until the edges have browned and the centre is puffed. If it is still a bit under, cover with foil and cook for another 10-15 minutes to set completely.
Transfer the pan to a wire rack to cool for 10 minutes or so before removing to cool completely. Then simply sprinkle it with some icing sugar and devour it in honour of our queen.
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Previously on Australian Survivor as the original Spice Girls decreed, two became one, as the Heroes and Villains came together to form a single tribe. With Simon once again all alone on the bottom. Flick was thrilled to reunite with her bestie Shaun and while she initially wanted to protect the Spice Girls as payback, she ultimately decided to stick Heroes strong after Shaun reminded them they have more than enough numbers to take over. Sadly for them, George roped in Hayley and his former nemesis Simon to take control. After David sketched out Liz by the well, she decided to play her idol for Shonee, though didn’t need to, as David himself was booted from the game. As Shonee whispered to George that Flick is finished and ugh, I have goosebumps.
Back at camp Matt pulled everyone together to admit that he was the one that flipped, with Hayley quickly jumping in to say that she also made the jump to make sure they both got the credit come final tribal council. As Sam and Co. tried to wrap their heads around things, they kept taking little shots at the OG Heroes with George and Shonee iconically telling him to stop undermining their decision to play for themselves. The new power alliance then opted for a trip to the hammock – since the Heroes wouldn’t let them use it the day before – where Matt giggled about being an evil vixen, while Simon was happy to finally have friends again and ugh, is nature healing? Because when Matt suggested they call their alliance the Vigilantes to steal Nina’s suggested tribe name, I almost flooded my basement.
While the four Heroes stood quietly in the dark and sulked.
The next day Shiz were talking about their disappointment that Flick broke the girl code, likening it to a messy breakup. As such, they pulled Flick aside to find out what they did to upset her and while she explained she was just trying to save herself the night before, it obviously meant nothing to them. Though while they accepted the apology, Shonee was still out for blood and if All Stars is anything to go by, Flick is in trouble. Sam, Nina and Shaun meanwhile were busy trying to figure out how to get out of the mess of their own making and while Sam suggested they need an idol, Shaun smartly mentioned they need another way. As such, they decided that Simon was their best option to flip again, so they put Flick to work on winning him back. Or somehow win four immunities for the upcoming tribal.
George, Simon and Matt caught up by the well, with George thanking Simon for putting their issues aside and working together and well, it was wholesome and I love it. Particularly since Simon finally feels like he has friends. Hang on, maybe I don’t love Simon because he still wants to work with Shaun. Given he has lingering uncertainty about whether he can trust the Spice Girls, he caught up with Sam and Flick to talk about how shocked he is to have an alliance while Sam tried to act like he was happy for him to have some power. With Simon reiterating he is ready to make moves at the right time and aligning with George proves he can bury the hatchet, which kinda gives them some hope without saying anything. And again, do I now love Simon?
The tribe joined Jonathan on a beach for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a barrel containing 40% of their body weight with the last one standing winning. After ten minutes, Shonee asked Shaun how much weight would be in his barrel before George dropped out of nowhere. While Shonee started to struggle, she managed to hold on another 25 minutes before she dropped out. As Shonee and George kikied about getting rid of Flick, the rest of the tribe clocked up an hour before JLP told everyone they had to drop down to only one hand, costing Nina, Gerry and Shaun straight away. Sam was next to go, followed by Flick as Shonee praised her allies for outlasting the Heroes. And while Liz started to celebrate, Shonee told her to cut out the funny business and focus. Matt and Simon then dropped out, leaving Hayley and Liz to face off with Hayley dropping out of nowhere after another 20 minutes, handing the Olympian immunity.
With Flick quickly jumping in to congratulate the girls on being so strong. Which will not save you babes, I’m sorry.
Back at camp George obviously called his allies aside for a pow wow as the 4 Heroes skulked off to the well to figure out if there was anything they could do. George assured the Vigilantes that the only way they don’t make it to the top seven, is if something goes catastrophically wrong. They locked Flick as the target and while Simon suggested they need to split the vote in case of an idol. Everyone explained that they don’t have the numbers to make it work, with George going on step further and pointing out he or Shonee would be the target anyway so let them take the risk. He assured us that while he still doesn’t trust Simon 100%, he will be watching him like a hawk. The Heroes went person to person trying to figure out who the target is in the hope of saving themselves with an idol, though the Vigilantes would not budge. As such, they decided to load their votes on Matt to spook him a little and not upset anyone in power, while Shaun awkwardly danced around having an idol in the hope of them finding a second one to save the group. Given he is holding on to his, to play at the right time to save himself.
While Flick spent hours hunting around the hidden idol, she gave up and decided she needed to at least talk to Simon about making a move on George. She reminded him that the Spice Girls are a solid four, meaning nine is the latest they can make a move to beat them. Shonee meanwhile was watching on, talking to Hayley about how Flick could easily convince Simon to make a move just for the sake of it. Thankfully though, he checked in with Hayley who was super reassuring, reminding him that they want to get rid of more of the alphas first before trying anything and as such, it makes sense to hold firm for now. Hayley was then pulled aside by Shaun, who tried to guilt her into sharing who the target was, with her expertly not budging or even offering assurance. Leading him to speculate to us whether it was a smart decision to actually play the idol for himself or Flick, given she is his number one.
At tribal council Sam spoke about how shocked he was after the previous tribal council, though also knew he couldn’t really do much, before throwing out that nothing that happened at the last tribal council changed anyone’s place for those that flipped. Which drew an audible gasp from George, who pointed out that they are now on the winning ship and that ship has set sail, whether the OG Heroes like it or not. Shaun tried to point out that he is just in a bit of a trough, but the game is all about peaks and valleys with Simon agreeing that his game has only been ups and downs, though he is glad to be working with George and being part of the conversation now.
George pointed out that you should never close the door on any options, or at least, that is how the Vigilantes roll. Which annoyed the hell out of Nina that the tribe name she suggested was co-opted for the alliance working against her. Flick tried to pretend she was swap screwed with George whispering about the fact she actually had a numbers advantage, so that’s a lie. While she doubled down on the fact she was upsetting someone either way she went, which Shonee called bullshit on given she was the one leading the charge against Shiz, which makes it all the more hurtful. Particularly since Liz was willing to use her idol to save her. This clearly got Shaun thinking about doing the same as Matt pointed out he was in the same situation as Flick at the previous tribal, though clearly made the right choice. And well, now one of Flick, Nina, Sam and Shaun are drowning and they don’t have a lifesaver on their side. Which feels extra savage and I love that for him.
With that the tribe voted before Shaun proved himself a little more selfish than the Villains – or well, Liz – as he held on to his idol as his closest ally Flick was shown the door. Though hey, at least she has now been the final juror and the Queen of the Jury in her Survivor career. As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her that while I am firmly team Shiz, I was rooting for her and love how effortlessly she plays the social game. Plus, she is sensible and not bitter, meaning we should be lucky enough to have a fair jury on our hands with no toxicity with her as the Queen. Leaving me nothing more to do than toast her success and her new reign with a piping hot bowl of Flick Paellmateer.
While I forgo any of the seafood additions which are commonly placed in a paella, this is still a smokey, salty delight. The rich, spiced tomato bathes the al dente rice, working with the sweet meats to warm your soul and wash away any disappointment.
Enjoy!
Flick Paellmateer Serves: 4.
Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 5 garlic cloves, minced 1 carrot, cut into rings ½ a bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves and stalks roughly chopped separately 500g chicken thighs, diced 250g chorizo, cut into rings 2 tsp hot smoked paprika 1 capsicum, sliced 300g paella rice 2 tbsp tomato purée 3 cups chicken stock kosher salt and pepper, to taste 100g peas 1 lemon, for squeezin’ at the end
Method Heat the oil in a dutch oven – or paella pan, ideally – over medium heat and add the onion, garlic and carrot. Cook for a couple of minutes before stirring in the parsley stalks, chicken, chorizo and paprika. Cook for another five minutes or so before stirring in the capsicum and cooking until soft and sweet. About five minutes.
Add the rice and tomato purée to the pan and stir for a couple of minutes, until the rice is coated in all the juices. Stir in the stock and a good whack of salt and pepper, bring to the boil and reduce heat to low to simmer for about 15 minutes. Once reduced, stir in the peas and cook for a further few minutes, or until cooked through.
Adjust seasoning and serve with a good sprinkle of parsley leaves and a squeeze of lemon juice, before devouring.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls learnt the Maxi Challenge – or should we say, Maxine Challenge – would see them star in the sequel to Daytona Wind. And while the first one was super fun, it was mostly due to the fact the dolls were gagged by the surprise gas. Despite having the power to assign the roles, Aura opted to give up the campy, lead role and take on a quieter part which she quickly proceeded to bomb. Though Luxx noted, she probably would have bombed any and all roles she had. Jax meanwhile was forgettable and missed all the Drag Race references as Mistress – who inherited the lead role – slayed the game and took out victory. Only narrowly though, over her nemesis Malaysia, as the duo played off each other perfectly. Ultimately Jax and Aura landed in the bottom and like Angela Bassett, Jax did the thing and took out the lip sync, as Aura joined the win to elim club.
Before cursing them to be haunted by the ghost of her father on her way out the door. Backstage Jax was obviously a little nervous about said curse, given she was ultimately the one that sent Aura out the door, though was glad to prove she is going to be very difficult for the girls to send home. After a brief moment celebrating Mistress’ win, Loosey turned the attention back to herself as she complained about only being safe. When it is what she deserved. But whatever. I prefer Spice’s delusion that she is entering her top era.
The next day Spice was still busy trotting around despite Ru and Michelle’s hate, while Loosey asked the girls without a win how angry they were. Which obviously led to all the girls eviscerating her for going full Milk and raging over being safe. Before she could spiral any further, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d all be lip syncing, in a battle royale LalaPaRuZa in full assassin drag. And by the end of the night, one of the dolls will be going home. They immediately split up to beat their mugs, with Mistress super confident knowing Spice, Loosey and Marcia are the easy marks, though admitted to fearing facing off against Sasha or Anetra. As she should, TBH.
We quickly pivoted to the Mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Ross took their places on the panel as the girls lined up to hear the rules. Which were super simple, given they just need to survive one of the eight lip syncs that were about to unfold. And Ru, Michelle and Ross’ coffee enema energy, which is always a highlight to me. Bruno entered the mainstage to toss his balls before selecting Malaysia as the first one to lip sync, meaning she was able to pick her opponent. Ultimately opting for Marcia. Which meant Marcia had the power to pick the song, going with Anitta’s Boys Don’t Cry. And while Malaysia was expecting to steamroll, Marcia had tricks up her sleeves, flipping around the stage and giving sass as she hit every lyric. And rightly took out the first victory, sending her back to safety while Malaysia would have to lip sync again in the next round.
Next up Bruno grabbed Loosey’s ball with her also picking the easy mark in Spice, with Spice selecting Joan Jett’s Do You Wanna Touch. Sweet Spice tried her darndest, bringing all the energy to the performance however Loosey’s choice proved wise as she took out victory and joined Marcia Cubed backstage. But yeah, make no mistake, the lip sync was boring. Bruno wheeled out his balls yet again, this time pulling out Luxx who opted to face Salina. Who in turn chose It’s All Coming Back to Me Now by my sweet Celine. Aka a song she does on the reg back home. And girl, it showed as while Luxx gave all the drama and emotion, it was definitely Salina’s show as she rightly entered the top nine and sent Luxx through to the next round.
Bruno’s balls decreed Mistress was next who chose Jax, feeling she was more likely to pick the song she wanted, Tell It To My Heart by the iconic Taylor Dayne. And despite Jax proving herself to be a bit of an assassin so far, it was Mistress who stole the show, serving reveals, comedy and drama and ugh, she was perfect. And lucky that the judges have already seen Jax’s tricks and flips twice already. As such, Mistress was deemed safe and Jax was forced to lip sync again. Which gagged the safe girls, before Mistress mocked Loosey for doing a shit job and just getting lucky with her opponent. Most importantly, the final round was an absolute battle royale as Anetra and Sasha faced off with the former picking I’m In Love With A Monster by Fifth Harmony. And holy shit, did mother Sasha and Anetra feed us. Every letter was hit, the dolls were on the beat, every flip and trick was perfection and gaggy and well, TBH, I feel like both of them should have been deemed safe. But sadly only Sasha was sent to safety, while Anetra was forced to lip sync again.
Bruno’s balls lined up Malaysia to kick things off again, this time going with the safest bet on stage in the form of Spice. And while Spice wisely chose Don’t Go Yet by Camila Cabello because Malaysia wouldn’t know the lyrics, neither did she. And well it was an adorable mess as they both tried to serve something, before Spice ultimately resorted to the conga. Which obviously led to Malaysia joining the safe girls. Where she promptly pretended she didn’t pick Marcia because she thought she could beat her. But more importantly, the last lip sync would be a throuple as the remaining dolls faced off to Vanessa Williams’ The Right Stuff. With Luxx proving that rage can take you far, as all three of the girls hit every lyric and absolutely dominated, but Luxx just clearly had more fire to stay which pushed her over the edge and sent her to safety.
Meaning Spice, Anetra and Jax took the stage assuming they would battle as a trio before Ru gagged them with a twist, courtesy of Bruno’s balls. You see, he would pull a queen’s name out of his sack and then that queen would get to choose which one of her sisters would be safe. And because Anetra doesn’t enjoy murdering puppies, she gagged the dolls by sending Spice to safety and opted to battle Jax in the final round. And while Jax vowed to make Anetra regret her choice, as soon as Finally by Cece Peniston started playing, it was clear Anetra is really one to be feared. She gave camp charms, sexy moves, hairography and all the attitude as she ran every phrase flipped over the stage before walking the duck all the way to safety, ultimately sending Jax home.
As I pulled Jax in for a hug backstage, I reminded her that a Lalaparuza also cost a lip sync assassin their spot last year – RIP Jasmine – meaning that she kinda, sorta did all she could to navigate the producer’s newest favourite storyline. I reminded her that despite being in the bottom twice in the season, she truly got the chance to shine. I mean, who will be able to forget her skipping with her hair? Not. Me. Plus to misquote Batman like Simon, it is always better to die a robbed goddess than live long enough to become a person production rigged the season for. Which was enough to cheer her up before she even saw the banquet of Jaxfruit Tacos.
I would argue that Mexican is the best cuisine, be it Tex Mex to the more traditional variety. And these jackfruit numbers are even better, since you can pretend they’re a healthy option. Spicy and smoky, the pulled pork-ness of the jackfruit melts in your mouth and makes you want more.
Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and sweat the onions, stirring, for about five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for another minute before stirring in the jackfruit, breaking up with a wooden spoon to roughly shred it. Cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring in the cumin, oregano, half the chilli, coriander, one teaspoon of the paprika, the cinnamon, canned tomato and paste. Stir to combine and simmer for ten minutes, or until fragrant and reduced.
While that is simmering, combine the avocado, tomato and lime zest and juice in a bowl. Set aside. Next, pop the rice in a medium saucepan with the stock and remaining chilli and paprika. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cook covered until all the liquid has absorbed. Remove from the heat and leave the lid on to allow it to steam a little. Finally, cook the taco shells in the oven for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp.
To serve, fill the tacos with rice, the jackfruit and avocado salsa – adding cheese and sour cream, if they are your jam – before devouring.
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Previously on Australian Survivor Stevie was grateful for Shiz saving him in the most chaotic tribal council of the season, while Jordiewas left right out on the Villains. Though with Shiz secretly vowing to have his back. While Simon was Simon. Shonee meanwhile casually found herself a new piece of bling in the form of an idol, wisely keeping it a secret from even her closest of allies. At the immunity challenge George and Simon aired their dirty laundry to the Heroes before Shiz single handedly scored them immunity. Back at the Heroes, Gerry was fired up and ready to call them out for the way they handled sending him to the Villains, while Ben quickly realised it was him or Gerry going home. After finding the cookie non-idol, Ben used it as a clue to finding another idol on the Heroes beach, which he ultimately used to save himself, as he stitched up Sharni and swiftly got her booted from the game.
In no small part thanks to Paige’s lie that Sharni dropped the block, but whatevs, I’m not bitter.
Letting us know we’re in for a big episode, the tribes immediately joined with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle where they were delighted to discover an auction awaiting them. Psych, it wasn’t an auction though, as Jonathan unveiled the first covered item, new buffs, meaning they are finally switching! One by one they went up to select their new buffs with Nina going to the Villains, Ben sticking with the Heroes, Sam going to the Villains, Gerry sticking with the Heroes, alongside ally George before Liz found herself isolated on the Villains, as Shonee also landed on the Heroes. David added more beef to the Villains, alongside Shaun and Simon before Matt stuck with Heroes, Hayley went to Villains, Stevie went to Heroes and Jordie stuck with the Villains. Alongside his nemesis Simon and all his new alpha bros. While Flick and Paige were stuck on the Heroes tribe.
And while everyone laughed about the meat tray all landing together, George hilariously reminded them that meat heads normally suck at Survivor and as such, he isn’t concerned with the idiots. Basically.
But turns out, there was actually an auction too with each tribe getting $2500, with max bids set at $500. The catch being, the money would be shared amongst the tribe meaning some could win big and others end up with nothing. George quickly worked out that everyone then had $320 to spend, with Liz winning the first item, a cheeseburger and beer for $320. Ben jumped straight to $320 on a covered item which led Sam to jump to $360 for what he assumed was an advantage, but ultimately ended up being chocolate. Which honestly, I think makes more sense for him than a note. The next item was a scroll with Ben jumping straight up to $400 as Paige, shock horror, started to bitch to George about needing to vote Ben out ASAP. Oh and the scroll meant he scored an onion and while everyone laughed, Paige – again, shock – looked sour.
Paige then bid $400 on spag bol and red wine – I guess we can all go over $320 now – before Shaun bought it for $500. Flick then bought tacos and margs for $480 before Liz and Paige went into bat for Jordie and Matt bidding on a call from home, given they are both expecting children. While Jordie sweetly tried to step back and let Matt take the call for $200, Matt just as sweetly pointed out he is up to date with the scans and knows the baby is good and as such Jordie can have it to get his update as the two both burst into tears. As did I. While Paige told Matt he is such a good bloke. As Jordie spoke to Sam, he learnt they got the all clear from the doctors AND they found out they are having a boy and ugh, watching everyone cheer for him was so damn wholesome. As was him sobbing about how much he misses her.
Matt tried to assure him he was crying happy tears for him which honestly broke me even more before George spent $320 on a covered item, which turned out to be a pass as the guest of Honour at a Survivor afternoon party with two of his friends. And while Ben tried to remind him it is a social game, he was loyal and stuck with Shiz as Paige, once again, looked saltier than the dead sea. While Jordie and Simon cautioned everyone that was a dangerous reward, particularly for someone like George.
The Spice Girls arrived at their epic reward, ready to devour everything in sight – including some leftover Sharlami Vinson, FYI – before George learnt he had just won $60,000 from Set for Life. They debated whether they should be checking for an advantage, with them agreeing to just wait until the end before Shonee straight up found an idol while smashing a party pie. Making it two in two episodes. Liz turned the talk to their new tribes, with George sharing that Flick told them Ben can’t be trusted while Liz was confident in all the strength she had on the new Villains, but knew that should they lose, she will be first on the chopping black. With Shonee assuring her that she will hand off the idol if she does lose an immunity. Since she should probs keep it as new Heroes is super weak comparatively and more likely to attend all the premerge tribal councils.
Back at the Heroes camp, Paige told Stevie that everyone helps out around at their camp before reiterating to Flick how much she wants to get rid of Ben ASAP. Given he allegedly twisted her words the previous night, which he didn’t. He told Flick that while she doesn’t trust George, she feels she could at least work with him for a couple of rounds, knowing they’ve split up the chance that he and Ben could potentially align. While Ben quietly worked nearby and oh god, I hope he heard. Also, as an aside, does it feel like a lot of the hate towards Ben comes from a place of casual homophobia? Because it is starting to feel like it. Though to be fair, I am super sensitive about that and may be finding reasons why my hero keeps getting called shady.
We checked in with the new Villains tribe where Hayley was thrilled by their surroundings, while Simon was more focused on how stacked their tribe is and thrilled to finally put an end to his losing streak. Knowing he no longer is the only person carrying the tribe through every challenge. Simon caught up with Shaun to fangirl over him, before Shaun admitted that he plans to use the Jeremy Collins meat shield strategy as Simon desperately tried to get pulled in. They returned to camp with Jordie overhearing him suck up and as such, he decided the only way to survive this mess is to blend in as best as possible, talking footy and copying Shauns’s fashion choices. And ugh, I love Jordie so much as this is hilarious, knowing he is quietly mocking them. Despite how well Simon was trying, the Heroes were still focused on sticking together with Shaun, Hayley, Nina and David locking in a plan to flush Simon’s idol ASAP and then pick off the original Villains. Because yeah, they can all see how desperately Simon was trying to win their love.
The new tribes reconnected for an epic immunity challenge where they would race to transport a tribe member locked in a cage through a tunnel, then a gate, up a huge ramp and then down into a pool before they unlocked said member and two people solved a puzzle. Because duh. Shonee and Hayley took their places in the cages, with the former loving the chance to have a little R&R during the challenge. Obviously the Villains got out to an early, massive lead, unlocking Hayley before the Heroes even made it to the ramp. Hayley and Nina got to work on the puzzle as Stevie cheered his tribe on before finally getting the chance to free Shonee and starting on the puzzle with George. A full circle moment, and I love it. While Hayley and Nina calmly worked through the colours, George started to bicker with Stevie about messing up his work. While Ben looked frustrated to be shut out of the puzzle before subbing out with George. That made the challenge exciting as the Heroes closed the gap as Hayley and Nina madly finished the puzzle and just snatched immunity for the Villains.
As the tribes hugged it out, David told Paige not to trust George whatever she does – like duh, is that really the most important message to share – which made her change her mind about targeting Ben as soon as she returned to camp. Well, after yelling at Stevie for trying to debrief too early and then yelling at everyone to get to work on fire and making some rice. Thankfully George is wise and instead got to work scrambling and locking in a plan of his own. Flick tried to lock him and Shonee in on a plan to get rid of Ben, floating that afterwards, they could align with Paige and Matt to run the tribe. Once Shonee and George were left alone, they laughed about how easy her plan would be to derail, given they are not going to just do what the OG Heroes want and instead will work with Gerry to get rid of one of the originals. And after finding God, they locked in Paige as their target given life is for living.
With that George and Shonee got to locking in a new majority, first pulling in Stevie to get rid of Paige and assured him that under no circumstances are they to tell Flick, Matt, Paige or Ben. George then floated the idea with Gerry, who was also very much on board given he wanted to mix things up. And admitted Paige can be hard work.
After locking in the 4-3-1 vote – given Ben’s is irrelevant at this point – and filling me with joy, Paige decided to ruin everything and pulled Flick and Matt aside to talk about getting rid of George instead, given the meat heads are too scared of him making the merge and told her to do it. Flick wisely cautioned them that they need to decide whether it is better to stay hero strong, or to get rid of Ben. Right on cue, Ben arrived who assured them all that the OG Heroes would be so proud of them if they managed to get rid of George. While Paige once again acted like Ben has given any reason not to trust him. He then pointed out that they need to try and woo Gerry to their side if they want it to work, with Ben offering to do it while Flick wisely suggested they should all try, given he hasn’t exactly felt the love from the original Heroes tribe.
Up first, Ben pointed out that he and Gerry were both kind of on the bottom of the OG Heroes and as such, they need to make a decision that would save them in the long run. Gerry the icon told him he wasn’t willing to commit to anything yet, before all the Heroes obviously pulled him aside to take their shot. While Shonee quietly watched on as it all unfolded. Feeling confident, Paige went off to relax, while Shonee decided to act on the nervous energy; pulling George aside to warn him that something is afoot as the Heroes hung out, gleefully talking about taking out the King as Shonee assured us that while she doesn’t want to play the idol, if that is what it takes, she will.
At tribal council George and Shonee joked about being frequent flyers while Paige spoke about how it was too soon to deem any of the newbies heroic. Eyeroll. George spoke about this tribal council drawing a line in the sand and letting people know where they stand. Paige said that she doesn’t focus on goals when voting, given they all have the same – I mean, duh, but also WHAT? – while Flick spoke about how scary tribal council always is. Shonee brought some intelligent strategy to the table, telling JLP that if you have enough conversations, you can build trust and prove that you can add value to people’s games long term and meet those goals. Gerry meanwhile spoke about having loyalty to people, but he doesn’t know if he has it from others. And while trust takes forever to build, it can break just as quickly.
George felt like Gerry should be able to trust him and he hopes they are still friends, while Paige started whispering to Flick that she is sure they can get George out. Shonee meanwhile admitted she isn’t feeling as confident as George, while Matt spoke about being very nervous given the OG Heroes were whispering. Paige had a big shit eating grin talking about how confident she is that her conversations from the afternoon will hold firm. George meanwhile wanted tonight’s vote to bring a group of people together that will be able to run the game and make it to the end. Like a shared goal, even.
With that the tribe voted, Shonee wisely opted to play one of her idols on George as Paige looked ready to shit her pants, realising that her genius plan didn’t exactly account for an idol. As four votes piled up on George the cocky Heroes grew less and less confident as the rest came in on Paige, sending her out of the game in tears of rage. And ugh, it was GLORIOUS. As was Flick congratulating them as Shonee reminded her that the whispering tipped her off, given this is not her first rodeo.
Paige was still rather annoyed by the time she arrived at Loser Lodge and despite myself, I told her to hold her head high and be proud of the game she played. While her confidence and the paranoia of the game turned her quite bossy in the last few episodes, she started off strong, building a lot of trust with her allies and firmly placing her in the Heroes majority. Sadly though she was undone by two of the best at the game in George and Shonee, meaning she had to settle for some pre-merge comfort in the form of Paige Donarred Greens.
Given the off-screen drama that fueled Rogue to hate on Paige so much, it was kinda poetic that both of them ended up with vegetarian dishes. But when they taste as good and wholesome as this, it is hard to pass up. A little spicy with a hint of tang, this is the perfect side for a Sunday roast. Of ethically farmed meat, obvi.
Enjoy!
Paige Donarred Greens Serves: 4-6.
Ingredients 3 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 5 garlic cloves, minced 6 cups collard greens (aka borekale), washed and dried, removed from the main stems and bruised 2 bay leaves 1L chicken stock ¼ cup lemon juice 1 tbsp raw caster sugar 1 tsp chilli flakes salt and pepper, to taste
Method Place the oil in a large pot over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about ten minutes or so, or until sweet and tender. Add the bay leaves and cook for another minute or so.
Slice the greens into 3cm thick ribbons and add to the pot along with the stock, juice, sugar and chilli. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently, for about an hour or until the greens are gloriously soft and the liquid reduced. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper before devouring with your favourite roast.
Or on its own, whatever.
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the girls were tasked with forming a trio of girl groups. But once again, there was a twist on the classic challenge, as this time they were Golden Girl Groups. Each band would tackle a different genre, which of course led to an epic argument between two teams who both felt metal would be the funniest with their old make-up. Which meant Mistress and Luxx got into an epic fight with Malaysia (and kinda Sasha), before rock paper scissors handed metal to the latter team, leading to a breakout moment from Aura who won the challenge. Meanwhile the peaceful R&B team were far and away the weakest, leading to Jax and Robin landing in the bottom with our hair-skipping icon slaying the lip sync and sending sweet Robin out the door.
Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost sweet Robin, before talk turned to the challenge with Mistress admitting to being shocked that her entire team was not in the top. Being a messy icon, she mentioned that someone told her that Malaysia was heated in Untucked about what happened when they fought over genres. Malaysia stayed quiet and simply said that she said what she said, while Mistress admitted that she didn’t exactly realise they were being serious, which is why she was laughing not because she disrespects her. While Sasha and her talked it out, Malaysia continued to sulk in the corner, refusing to engage with Mistress once again laughing, which only made Malaysia even more angry. And well, the dolls are fighting.
The next day the tensions appeared to have dissipated and instead everyone was just now awkward, while Mistress just continued to smirk like an icon. Before she and Malaysia could get into it again, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the reboot of the Daytona Wind. And while I love that for them, I don’t know how fun it will be if they know the farts are coming. Oh and this time, it will be a sitcom AND since Aura won the last challenge, she would cast the whole damn thing.
The lead character of Fancy was a big bold role, and as such, everyone put their hand up for it until Aura said she wanted it given she has never been campy. And Anetra? Well, she just wanted metal. Because she is a chill icon. Thankfully everyone followed her lead and gladly took the rest of the roles and split up to read through their scripts, with Mistress and Malaysia soon learning that they would be scene partners for most of the damn. Though given they are both strong actresses it should be fine, particularly since Aura was clearly struggling with Fancy. To the point where Mistress wisely pointed out it was a bomb and offered to switch out for the big, starring role. Like a shrewd icon.
The dolls met up with Ru on set where Loosey was a star from start to finish, Spice was hilariously ridiculous – so, Spice – while Malaysia lived for slamming doors in Mistress’ face, while she absolutely ate. Though to be fair, so did Mistress. Jax meanwhile was at a 7, which allowed Mistress to add some killer ad libs as she and Malaysia bounced off each other perfectly. Aura meanwhile was just, not good, while Big Daddy gagged the girls with the fact he is alive. But sadly, we don’t know who is playing him. Yet. But it definitely does not sound like Carson.
Elimination Day arrived with Malaysia and Mistress coming together to clear the air as they beat their mugs. As everyone obviously watched on out of the corners of their eyes. But it all ended well as they copped to what they did wrong, apologising and well, it was lovely and I love that for them.
Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the judges panel alongside our favourite familiar, Harvey Guillen as Loosey kicked off the Puffer Please runway looking like a sexy marshmallow. Spice gave snow bimbo, Sasha oozed sex in yellow and black stripes, Luxx gave Jackie O does the Jetsons, Malaysia was a gorgeous lemon, Aura was perfection in a kimono while Jax was a glorious bee. Mistress was a sexy beach puff, Anetra was the sluttiest bird while Marcia was hilariously frostbitten in a puffer bikini while Salina looked glorious, yet very Salina.
When it came to The Daytona Wind Loosey was hilarious and perfect as the maid, Spice was Spice, Sasha and Luxx made a glorious couple, while Malaysia knocked it out of the park andMistress was perfection from start to finish. And well, they bounced off each other so well. Marcia was so much fun as a nerd as Anetra gave perfect timing, while Salina was gloriously camp. At the other end of the pack, Jax and Aura were kinda just there or worse, boring. More importantly, Danny mother tucking Trejo played the very undead Big Daddy and ugh, it was perfection.
Loosey, Sasha, Luxx and Salina were sent to safety before Spice was read for being one note in the performance and for always doing the same thing on the runway. Since it is boring Michelle. Malaysia received universal praise for her performance and looking gorgeous on the runway. Aura was praised for her runway though was obviously read for giving nothing in the challenge, while Jax was read for giving even less. Mistress too received universal praise in the performance and for giving something different on the runway, while Anetra was praised for her chemistry with Marcia and for slaying the runway. While Marcia too was beloved, despite still needing to drag up her looks even further. Despite the judges acknowledging that she already had grown immensely.
Backstage the dolls were glad to get another week in the competition, but Loosey and Salina were kinda pressed about being safe again. Which Sasha obviously felt was bratty. We then got a little extra time with Danny Trejo and ugh, he is the best and I love him. Sasha was proud to be serving her classic brand on the runway, while Salina explained her backpack vibe and everyone read Loosey for serving Donald Duck. Which I can not unsee. Oh and then she went back to bitching about missing out on a spot in the top. Talk eventually turned to the challenge as the girls questioned how Mistress managed to sneak out the biggest role from under Aura. Before Luxx said what we were all thinking, pointing out that Aura likely would have struggled with any role.
The tops and bottoms returned with Aura letting them know she is definitely lip syncing, while Spice and Jax were battling it out for the final spot. Mistress meanwhile tried to downplay how much Ru loved her, while Anetra and Marcia spoke about how the judges couldn’t split them as a duo, and Malaysia was thrilled to finally get all of the judges’ love. Loosey then pulled attention back to her, sharing how upset she was to not land in the top while the safe girls rolled their eyes. Mistress meanwhile pointed out that maybe her runway let her down, which obviously upset her more while Marcia tried to remind her that they probably expected her to do well and as such, the bar was just set higher for her.
Oh and then Harvey dropped by to kiki with the dolls and ugh, he is so damn cute and lovely and I love him. And need a pep talk from him, ASAP.
Ultimately Jax was sent straight to the bottom two before Malaysia was sent to safety, therefore handing Mistress her first win of the season. Anetra and Marcia were deemed safe before Spice narrowly joined them – hilariously doing her runway shtick one last time, much to Michelle and Ru’s rage – leaving Aura to battle it out with Jax. And while both of them came out guns blazing as soon as Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa’s Sweetest Pie kicked off, it was clear that Jax is not someone you want to face off against. As she hit every lyric and served tricks and stunts before once again saving herself, leaving Aura to join the infamous win to elim club. Giving us an iconic exit line – my dead Dad will haunt you all – on the way out.
Backstage Aura was obviously disappointed to be exiting the competition so soon, though was grateful to at least get a win under her belt before her departure. I pulled her in for a massive hug – because duh, she is the trade of the season – and assured her that joining the win to elim club puts her in a spectacular group of queens and she is nearly guaranteed a return because of it. You know, on account of the whole, better to be eliminated too soon than overstay your welcome, thing. Plus, being the trade, the fandom will always remember you fondly. Almost as fondly as the taste of a Cranbura Maygarita.
Everyone loves a good margie but add in some festive spice of a little cranberry and well, you’re in heaven. Still packing the zing and freshness of the usual marg, this variation adds to the tartness to really make it sing. In all the right ways.
Enjoy!
Cranbura Maygarita Serves: 4.
Ingredients 4-8 lime wedges, for garnish and rimming glasses ¼ cup kosher salt 1 cup cranberry juice ⅓ cup tequila ¼ cup fresh lime juice ¼ cup triple sec ice, to serve ½ cup cranberries, muddled
Method Rub the edges of four margarita glasses with lime juice and dip into the salt to coat the rim.
Pop the cranberry juice, tequila, lime juice, triple sec and ice in a large cocktail shaker and shake until well combined.
Divide the muddled cranberries between the glasses, followed by the margs and then garnish with a lime. Before downing, with glee.
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Previously on Australian Survivor George returned from hospital with a brutal facial injury, which instantly endeared him to the tribe that desperately wanted him gone. The tribe christened him and despite the rebirth, Simon and Michael were still out for his now exposed blood. Simon in particular desperate to have the title of Kingslayer on his resume. The Heroes dominated yet another immunity challenge as George bombed the puzzle – justice for Stevie – sending the Villains back to tribal for a second time in a row. Back at camp, the tribe locked in a plan to get rid of George, though Queen Shonee was an icon as she turned the tide and saved our king, sending Michael from the game instead.
The next day the Spice Girls – aka Shiz and George – were busy bonding with Sarah, hoping for answers to whether she actually pushed Miss Greece down the stairs. And while she assured us that she didn’t, I live for the black humour of how she would have wanted to alongside the assurances she was only temporarily in a wheelchair, to get out of anyone thinking she is awful. We then learnt more about the iconic beauty queen, who plays rugby league in her spare time and loves it due to her passion for smashing people. Begging the question, did she actually push Miss Greece?
Stevie meanwhile was doing some tai chi as Jordie and Simon caught up about the fact George is still here, with the boys thankfully moving on and agreeing it was best to use him as a shield. For now. The tribe convened to talk through how they plan to maintain the fire while away at the upcoming challenge, while Stevie adorably tried to keep them all focused and motivated before pulling them into some tai chi. And while he isn’t great strategically, Shonee lives for his kooky ways despite him wanting her gone. And what is good for Shonee is good for me.
Jonathan made a speedy return for the reward challenge where the Heroes were gagged to see George survive, rather than the fact it was Michael that departed. For the challenge, the tribes would face off one on one to grab a sandbag in the water and score a goal, with the first tribe to three getting a giant cookie jar. More importantly, this kind of challenge generally gets us buns as the boys grapple in the water. First up were Shonee and Flick with our Queen putting in one hell of a fight before Flick scored the first point for the Heroes. Stevie once again faced off against Shaun who obviously won before Jordie scored the first point for the Villains against Matt. Sam and Simon were up – the latter in speedos, swoon – with Simon tying things up after a brutal, brutal battle. That left Mimi and Paige to battle for the win which started off a bit derpy before the duo fought hard, dragging each other back and forth before Mimi secured the cookies for the Villains. Like a damn boss.
We finally checked in with the dejected Heroes trip with Shaun sad to have missed out on the cookies, while Rogue gave them a pep talk which obviously sounded more like reprimanding them for not being strategic enough. Everyone started to speculate whether a clue would be in the cookies and how ultimately it would make the Villains more chaotic and as such, could help them in the long run. Shaun, David, Matt and Sam caught up in the water to form an alpha male alliance with Benjamin pointing out to the girls what was happening, while Ben narrated an ad for all the meat on offer and yes producers, thank you, thank you, thank you!
While Rogue was busy questioning who, other than her, was actually a hero.
Back over with the funner Villains, the tribe instantly cracked the cookies and got to work smashing them before Jordie suggested they sit by the shore to continue eating them. George meanwhile went to crack a coconut – which was obviously code for idol hunting – as the tribe were otherwise occupied. Sadly for him, it wasn’t the perfect cover as Jordie questioned where he was as everyone praised his strategy in the challenge. And while he did find the idol, it may no longer be a total secret as there is suspicion. And a giant bulge in his pocket.
That being said, it appeared that nobody had actually noticed George’s antics, as the tribe seductively ate cookie after cookie before everyone started to speculate whether they should search the jar for a clue or advantage. Despite the risk of literally getting their hand caught in the cookie jar. While Jordie cautioned Fraser against it unless he was feeling nervous, Fraser tried the same with Mimi who was less concerned about the repercussions. After night fell, she quietly got out of bed and started searching through the jar – unsuccessfully – as Liz awoke and just as quietly watched on behind her. The next day Mimi was disappointed to have not found anything while Liz got to work spreading the update to everyone in the tribe.
And just like that, Mimi was now public enemy number one.
The tribe rejoined JLP for the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race a ladder over a series of obstacles before releasing a sack of coconuts and then using said coconuts to smash six tiles. The Villains got out to an early lead on the first obstacle before the Heroes’ brute strength slowly closed the gap. And then they pulled way out in front. To the point where they smashed all of their tiles before the Villains even released theirs.
Back at camp the tribe were, how do you say, very disappointed, with Stevie questioning what the hell they are doing wrong. He caught up with Simon and Jordie to suggest they focus on getting rid of dysfunction by taking out Mimi. Which the boys were obviously on board with, particularly since they know he would be loyal to them if they protect him. The Shiz too were focusing on Mimi or Stevie, with Shonee rightly pointing out that since Stevie is coming for her, it makes sense for her to get rid of him. The boys joined the girls, Sarah and George, quickly pushing them back towards getting rid of Mimi for her shiftiness.
Well, for a little bit.
George obviously hates not being in control, so approached Mimi to fill her in on what has been happening and told her to go hunting for an idol while he worked overtime on turning the tide on Stevie. He and Fraser joined up with Shiz and quickly locked them in on the Stevie plan, before they floated the plan to Sarah. Everyone eventually reconvened at the shelter where Simon stumbled upon the advantage that was hidden in the cookie jar. Wait, no, the producers crossed out the idol symbol so I am just guessing it is a random token with zero power. Or if he is lucky, an idol nullifier. Simon caught up with Jordie, filling him in on the potential idol before floating the idea of idoling George instead. And damn, things just got spicy or funny. And there will be no in between. Begging the question, do the producers have a fetish for making Simon look silly? Because if so, the idol is for real fake.
Simon got to work making sure everyone was voting for Stevie, laying it on thick with George to ensure he thought they were tight and as such make the blindside all the more sweet. Mimi meanwhile caught up with Shonee to see if they were good, with the Queen assuring her that duh, of course they were. Stevie traded out with Shonee, suggesting Mimi goes idol hunting while both of them pretended they didn’t know the other was a target. Simon and Jordie caught up with Shonee, not letting her in on the plan before she reiterated that while she doesn’t trust George, she knows she needs him for now to save herself. And after she left, Jordie rightly pointed out that they can’t afford to make a move without at least checking in with Shiz, because otherwise, they will flip on the boys and they will follow him out the door.
At tribal council Fraser tried to downplay the fact they are slowly growing more and more screwed, as the tribe snacked on cookies. Liz spoke about being sick of tribal council but knew it was the game and as such, was ready to get on with it. Simon started to whisper to Jordie about wanting to make history, before Jordie told Jonathan that he is more focused on quality over quantity and while he wants numbers, he’d like to make sure they are loyal. Simon reiterated the fact they have won a couple of challenges and as such, they at least know they can beat the Heroes, with George agreeing that the last win in particular was arguably the best he has had in both seasons.
Talk turned to the paranoia of the cookie jar with Jordie outing someone for hunting in it for an advantage. Though stopped short of naming Mimi, despite everyone already knowing about it. Liz hilariously then admitted that she knows who it is given she was the one who saw them, before Simon and Jordie started whispering again as Jordie desperately asked him to reconsider. And when he didn’t listen, he instead asked to talk to the girls who swiftly told him they would not be on board. At all. Despite the whispering, Stevie was not concerned and assured Jonathan that if they wanted him to know what they were talking about, they would tell him. He and Mimi then argued over whether he was loyal or had trust, and while they fired up, it made Shonee and Liz keen to flip things back on to her instead of Stevie.
After Shiz got the boys on the new page, Simon decided it was a good idea to now play his non-idol for Mimi while Jordie openly declared that tonight is not the night for big moves and that instead, they needed to focus on building trust with the people they want to work with. Aka Simon, cool your jets, you can get idol redemption another day. Well, if it is legit, that is. The tribe finally voted and Simon wisely opted against any theatrics as Mimi was brutally blindsided from the game, meaning Shonee has now booted and saved Stevie. Like a merciful queen.
As Mimi pulled up at Loser Lodge, I quickly ran out to give her a massive hug, disappointed to see yet another queen exit the game too soon. I assured her that despite the stumble with the cookie jar, she had been playing a solid game and should be proud of how she always stayed true to herself. Plus, she totally dominated the reward challenge. With the formal pep talk out of the way, we gossiped about whether we thought the Villains were doomed for a Stephanie LaGrossa V Bobby Jon demise, or whether they’d be able to win immunity soon. But that goss is not something I’m willing to share just yet. Just the secret to some delicious Mimi Ricottang Cookies.
Yes, yes, it is another festive recipe, but you’ll have to accept that the show filmed last year and festive cheer commences in July in my house. Plus, you don’t necessarily need the sprinkles to make these ones a winner. Soft and melt in your mouth, the light flavour transports you to a place of calm.
Enjoy!
Mimi Ricottang Cookies Serves: 12.
Ingredients 240g unsalted butter, softened 425g raw caster sugar 1 ¾ cups ricotta cheese 1 lemon, zested and juiced 1 tbsp vanilla extract 2 eggs 480g flour 2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp kosher salt 450g icing sugar ¼ – ½ cup milk, depending on desired consistency
Method In a stand mixer, cream all but a tablespoon of the butter and caster sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the ricotta, lemon zest and half the vanilla, and return to medium speed to beat until well combined. One by one, beat in the eggs, allowing the mixture to come back together between them. Scrape down the sides of the bowl before folding in flour, baking soda and salt. Return to the mixer one last time and beat until everything is just combined. Cover the dough and pop in the fridge to chill for a couple of hours.
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a few baking sheets.
When the dough is cold and firm, shape into tablespoon sized balls and place on the baking sheets leaving about 5cm between them to allow for spread. Pop the trays in the oven and bake for 15 minutes or until lightly baked, just before golden, before allowing to cool for five minutes on the tray after which they should be stabilised to cool completely on a wire rack.
While the cookies cool, melt the remaining butter. Sieve the icing sugar into a large bowl before slowly whisking in the melted butter, lemon juice, remaining vanilla and enough milk to form a glaze. That will depend on your own preferences.
Pour a little bit of glaze on top of each cookie, followed by the sprinkle of your choice – don’t have to be festive, but why not, I say – before smashing. Gleefully.
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