Earl Colecano

Baking, Main, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Fiji

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, we have a cast! I know we’ve officially known that Aubry, David, Kelley and Joe were Shangela-ing their ways back to the Island known Extinction for a couple of months, but we know who will be joining them!

Can I tell the difference between Chris, Dan or Eric despite one of them being bald? Nope. Do I care and love them all based on nothing else? Sure. Do I want Victoria’s hair? Of course. Are Julie and Reem going to be my fave newbies? Duh. Do I hope that Aubry and Kelley pair up like Aubry, Sandra and Cirie should have in Game Changers? Unequivocally.

Anyway, I have a lot of strong opinions about everything, so it was convenient that I had my dearest friend Earl Cole – the undisputed King of Fiji – drop by to join me and listen. While he wasn’t as opinionated as I was, he did agree that the winner is likely going to be someone that gets voted out pre-merge and manages to woo everyone whilst struggling on the Island Of Extinction.

While I am blindly hoping Aubry finally snatches a win, unless Joe channels Pearl Islands-era Savage, Hatch, Tyson, Locky or the Contenders boys and goes nude. In which case I am all in on him winning.

Given I quickly got thirsty, I needed something bready to sop everything up and distract me with a different kinda of joy. As such I whipped out a Milk Bar – third time this year, I know – Volcano, convenient rebranded as an Earl Colecano.

 

PHOTO 1

 

Like Bagel Bombs and Crack Pie before them, Milk Bar’s volcanoes are insanely addictive and delicious and can warm your soul even through the most brutal of polar vortexes. Creamy, herbed potatoes, sweet onion and a punch of gruyere are all you need to wash your troubles away.

Enjoy!

 

PHOTO 2

 

Earl Colecano
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 recipe Mother Dough, from Katey Sagal Bombs
3 garlic cloves
½ cup double cream
⅓ cup milk
1 bay leaf
1 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp kosher salt
black pepper
100g streaky bacon, diced and fried until crispy
2 potatoes
vegetable oil
2 red onions, thinly sliced
1 egg, whisked
1 cup shredded Gruyère cheese

Method
Prepare the Mother Dough as per Katey’s recipe – which is totally Christina Tosi’s – and leave to prove.

Meanwhile crush the garlic with a knife and chuck into a saucepan with the cream, milk, bay leaf, rosemary, ½ tsp of salt and a good whack of pepper. Bring it to the boil over medium heat before turning off, covering and leaving to steep for half an hour.

Thinly slice the potatoes and cover with iced water.

Preheat oven to 160C.

Layer the potatoes in a small baking dish, sprinkling with bacon as you go, until you’re out of both. Strain the steeped cream, pour over the potato and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until golden on top and cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before covering with foil, topping with weights – aka cans – and transferring to the fridge to set for a couple of hours.

While the potatoes are setting heat a lug of vegetable oil in a small saucepan and add the onions and leave in the pan for a couple of minutes without stirring. After that, reduce heat to low, add the remaining salt and cook for about half an hour, or until soft and caramelly.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Divide the dough into four equal pieces and flatten to form 20cm discs. Split the onions amongst the discs and top with a square of the potatoes. Oh, cut the gratin into squares – there will be left overs and on behalf on Christina, you’re welcome. Fold up the edges and pinch to enclose before rolling into a ball and placing on a lined baking sheet.

Brush the dough with egg and cut a deep X in the top of each. Fill each with a quarter of the cheese, leaving excess to erupt out the top. Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden, brown and the cheese is crispy.

Leave to rest for ten minutes before devouring. If you can.

 

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Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Vanuatu - Islands of Fire, Sweets

Another week, another painful wait for a cast announcement. I mean, since the season has already been filmed – not to mention my ability to time travel – I’m totally all over the cast of Edge of Extinction, I feel bad that you’re not in the know. And I can’t give you my sassy hot takes.

I will tease the fact there are three guys, all of whom I love, that I can not tell apart.

A lack of cast however will still not deter me from counting down – and trying to push through my concerns slash the general negative sentiment – to the upcoming season however, so I called my dear friend Chris Daugherty to drop by.

And hot damn, I just realised that this year’s countdown features dates with victors from controversial or low-rated seasons?!

Anyway despite an apparent dislike for Vanuatu as a whole, it is up there with one of the best turnarounds by a winner. Chris went from potentially being the first boot to find himself the last man standing at the final seven before joining with three other outcasts to take control of the game, slaying his biggest threats and taking out victory.

While I was rooting for Eliza when it aired – who I really need to catch one day soon – since she was young and scrappy and I was a teen, there is no denying that Chris deserved victory after overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds.

With that, I finally told him that I was proud of the game he played, asked him to help me figure out a way to identify the three identical strangers of Edge of Extinction and smashed a few Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts.

 

 

You know how much I love a creamy filled bun, and these babies sure don’t disappoint. Pillowy dough, tart lemony cheese and a sweet and sour crust? I’m in heaven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lemon Chrisotta Daughertynuts
Serves: 24.

Ingredients
750g flour
150g raw caster sugar, plus ¼ cup for filling
7g dried yeast
1 cup lukewarm milk
⅓ cup buttermilk
3 eggs, at room temperature
30g melted butter, plus extra to coat the ‘nuts
250g ricotta
3 lemons
1 cup caster sugar

Method
Combine flour, 150g raw caster sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the dough hook, stir in the milk, buttermilk, 2 eggs, and 30g of melted butter. Attach the hook and knead for five minutes, or until smooth and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to prove for two hours.

When proving is half an hour from being done, blitz the ricotta with the remaining egg and the juice and zest of two lemons. Chill in a bowl until you’re ready to go.

Preheat oven to 180C.

Knock back the dough, turn onto a lightly floured surface and roll to 3mm thick. Cut into 24 rounds and place a dollop of the ricotta mixture in the centre of each. Fold to enclose, roll into balls and place on a lined baking sheet. Repeat until done, cover and leave to prove for a further hour. Once puffed, transfer to the oven to bake for 10 minutes.

While they’re baking, combine the regular caster sugar with the zest of the remaining lemon.

While the doughnuts are still hot, dip in the butter and toss through the lemon sugar. Then devour.

 

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Lamber Tarkich

Baking, Main, Survivor, Survivor: All Stars, Survivor: Edge of Extinction, Survivor: The Australian Outback

I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, we just exited the latest Survivor Dark Ages with the killer albeit horribly named David vs. Goliath, and we’re entering a season named Edge of Extinction. Which without spoiling, actually screw it you need to be warned – features the return of Redemption Island instead with worse rules and a new name.

Will I still watch it and likely love it like a good superfan? Sure. But I am concerned about what it means for Survivor movie forward. The one thing giving me hope is that a season that ends with every person voted out on the jury and the first boot winning, could give us Gabon levels of insanity. Which is literally the best case.

Anyway as I am wont to do, I’m assembling some of my favourite winners – or at least the remaining winners – to help countdown to the new season. And likely do some sort of ritual to steer it towards Gabon.

As you know I am a dear friend of Romber and even introduced them and tee-ed up their alliance which led to love, The Amazing Race, marriage and four daughters. It also makes me responsible for All Stars so either you’re welcome or I apologise, depending on your views on the season.

I’ve known Amber since the filming of Australian Outback after trekking to find the set in search of Probst. While my unintended meddling screwed over Kucha far more than it did Ogakor, I did kinda screw over Amber’s game by wooing Colby – who I must catch soon – and turning him against Jerri – who I also must catch soon – setting up her downfall, she soon moved past the pain after introducing her and Rob.

While we haven’t had an official cast reveal yet, we do know that Aubry will be returning – hopefully with an edit this time – alongside second chancers Kelley and Joe, and Family Guy writer David who I assume was emboldened by Mike White’s success last season. Given the twist seems tailor made for the likes of Joe to finally succeed, I am hoping it backfires and either Kelley or Aubry rank highest amongst the returnees. Amber obviously is hoping that Kelley will snatch victory and complete her Brkich narrative, albeit over three seasons.

It was as robust conversation as it could be without being able to spoil the rest of the cast, however it was a delight to catch-up, talk smack about Rob continuously spoiling the switch and merge tribe colours with his Instagram posts and smash a big ol’ Lamber Tarkich.

 

 

Based on a number I saw whilst browsing Taste.com.au, this tart is a delicious, quick meal to throw together during the week. Not that I don’t believe Amber isn’t worth effort, because she dominated All Stars and played Rob to perfection (… and still ended up married) so don’t at me. Sometimes simply is best, packed with spice and fresh flavours, it will have you salivating from the moment it goes into the oven.

Enjoy!

 

 

Lamber Tarkich
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
1 tbsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
2 red chillies, sliced
¼ cup pine nuts
1 lemon, zested and juiced
small handful mint, roughly chopped
10 sheets filo pastry
50g butter, melted
1 cup Sierra Dawn-Hummus
2 tomatoes, deseeded and diced
½ tsp sumac
1 red onion, diced
small handful flat-leaf parsley
100g feta, crumbled

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Heat a good lug of oil in a large skillet and cook the tomato paste and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add the mince, spices and chillies, and cook for five minutes before stirring in the pine nuts, lemon and mint, and removing from the heat. Set aside to cool slightly.

Brush each sheet of filo with butter -bar the top one – and stack on each other. Fold the edges inward to form a rough rectangular shape and place on a lined baking sheet. Stab the base with a fork and transfer to the oven to bake for ten minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

To assemble, smear the centre with Hummus and top with the lamb mixture. Combine the tomato, sumac, onion, parsley and feta in a bowl and sprinkle over the top. Place in the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until golden and warm.

Devour.

 

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Nick Blintzon

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor twenty Americans were marooned on a cyclone ravaged Fijian Island and separated into two biblically themed tribes based on whether they were successful or not. Ironically – I think, Alanis help me out – the first boot wasn’t taken out by a vote but instead Pat was felled by an act of God as a wave sent their arc flying and cracked his back. He was followed out the door by Jessica – after my pizza curse struck again – and Jeremy before Bi up and quit – due to a torn ACL, but don’t tell Jeff –  just as the tribes were switching.

Despite being in a Goliath majority on her newly formed tribe, Natalia became the second and final victim of my pizza curse before Natalie became a victim of herself, exiting without so much as turning to face Angelina as she begged for a jacket, followed by poor Lyrsa who was wondering how in the hell she would tolerate the pre-jury vacay with the boss.

With that the tribes merged and Elizabeth started to accrue a Harem of Hunks, as she was followed into Ponderosa by John, Dan, Alec and Carl before Gabby broke the drought after trying to turn on Christian. Turns out she was one vote too soon, as he followed her out the door before Davie, Alison and Kara arrived to round out the jury.

The final three plead their case to the jury with Angelina completely shut out, no doubt in part because she opted to humiliate Alison on her way out the door – but she gave up her shot at immunity for rice, guys! Despite a strong game Mike proved that Goliath’s always have a weakness, as Nick overpowered him at final tribal council and snatched the title of Sole Survivor slash $1M.

While poor Nick struggled to find his feet in the first few days, Pat’s medevac saved him from the fate of becoming the first one out and allowed him to reset his game. And reset he did, taking control of the original David tribe with Christian, and then manoeuvring out of a minority position on the post-swap Jabeni tribe.

By the time he was playing a pivotal role in snatching back the majority on the merge tribe, keeping a meat shield long enough to avoid being targeted and snatching a string of late game immunity challenges, he pretty much had the game on lock. And what an exciting game it was. And by game, I mean season. This season was great. So great, the only way I could toast his success was splitting a big plate of Nick Blintzon.

 

 

Picture it: crepes, rolled into cheese filled tubes and then fried (or baked). Still with me? Then you dust with icing sugar and go to heaven. Because these are delicious.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nick Blintzon
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 eggs
400ml milk
250g flour
1 tsp salt
butter, to grease
1 cup ricotta cheese
250g cream cheese
⅓ cup raw caster sugar
1 lemon, juiced
1 tsp vanilla
icing sugar, to garnish

Method
Whisk three of the eggs and milk together in a small bowl, and the flour and salt in another. Form a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients, whisking continuously, until smooth and combined.

Melt a good knob of butter in a skillet and pour ⅓ cup of mixture into the pan to make a crepe. Repeat the process until the batter is all used. Leave them to cool slightly.

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Beat the remaining egg, ricotta, cream cheese, sugar, lemon juice and vanilla until smooth and combined.

Place a couple of tablespoons in the centre of each crepe and fold like a burrito. Brush with some melted butter, place on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to bake for twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Devour immediately, dusted heavily with icing sugar.

 

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Mike White Chocolate Mud Cake

Baking, Dessert, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

After toughing it out on a Fijian Island for 39 days without a jacket, begging for idols and scaling the largest cliff face on the planet to snatch an idol to embarrass one of the final jurors, the heroic Angelina’s claim for the title were completely ignored by the jury, despite having a passion for negotiation and persuasion. With that it came down to Hollywood heavyweight Mike White and public defender Nick, with the former toppled by the latter fulfilling the destiny of the season’s theme.

Given the fact that Mike comes from the entertainment industry and is the most well-known celebrity to ever join the cast – and as such has a lot of easy targets to paint on him in a game where any excuse to vote someone out is valid – he never should have made the merge, let alone the final three and be a couple of votes away from winning.

But that is how well my dear friend Mike played.

Obviously I first met Mike while working together on Dawson’s Creek and we quickly bonded over our sardonic wit. As is often the case, I vowed to make him a star however plot twist, when he decided to partner with Jack Black – who I was feuding with at the time – we went our separate ways and I had to watch him succeed without me.

Well until footage of me having a meltdown at work leaked – by me – on the internet, and he reached out to see if I was ok and whether he could base a television show about me. I am passionate about being a muse, so gladly gave him my blessing and Amy Jellicoe slash Enlightened were born and our friendship renewed. You’re welcome.

Anyway Mike’s charm and killer gut instincts that allowed his to wait until just the right moment to make a move played a huge roll in him getting to the end and almost snatching the title of Sole Survivor. And while he was disappointed not to win, he was thrilled to see me in Ponderosa waiting to cheer him up with a big, heavy Mike White Chocolate Mud Cake.

 

 

Obviously this is ridiculously, sickeningly sweet, as mud cake is want to do, but damn is it good. Dense, moist and melt in the mouth, there is nothing better to distract from losing $900k after 39 days on an island.

Enjoy!

 

 

Mike White Chocolate Mud Cake
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
700g white chocolate, roughly chopped
350g unsalted butter, chopped
2 ½ cups raw caster sugar
1 ½ cups milk
2 ⅔ cups plain flour
1 tbsp baking powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
½ cup cream

Method
Preheat oven to 140°C.

Combine 200g of the chocolate in a large saucepan with the butter, sugar and milk, and stir over low heat until smooth and combined. Transfer to a large mixing bowl and leave to cool slightly. Whisk in the flour, vanilla and eggs, and stir until just combined.

Pour into a lined cake tin and bake for 2 hours, though start checking from 1 ½ hours and stop once an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for about half an hour, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Once cooled, bring the cream to the boil in a small saucepan and transfer to a bowl. Add the remaining chocolate and stir until smooth. Transfer to the fridge to cool for half an hour, stirring a couple of times.

To assemble, flip the cake upside down, slather with ganache and devour.

 

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Chicken Angelinguine Keeleek

Main, Pasta, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the final six battled it out for a combination immunity and reward challenge after Angelina almost died in pursuit of being the sole female to snatch one this season. Thankfully she lived long enough to share in Nick’s reward and a drunk Mike quickly figured out where said idol was, allowing her to snatch it. After that the tribe voted out Davie and a still-tipsy Mike’s request, before Nick snatched another immunity win and Angelina concocted a plan to embarrass Alison on the way out the door using the idol. We didn’t get to hear anyone’s take on her tribal council spectacle as we went straight to the final immunity challenge, where Nick secured the hat trick before dragging Angelina to the end and Hollywood player Mike winning the fire challenge and sending Kara to become the final member of the jury.

The next day the final three sat by the shore to watch the sun rise and celebrating making it to the end over breakfast. Angelina was still struggling to comprehend the fact she made it to the end, though was proud of herself for making it to the end and the way she has handled herself. Nick was proud of being an underdog that came from nothing which was mirrored in the game, almost being the first boot before slowly building relationships and making it to the end. Mike too was overwhelmed by making it to the end, proud of the game he played and leaving it all out on the island at his age. When he is used to the Hollywood life.

At tribal council Probst spoke about the fluidity of the gameplay this season and echoes Mike’s sentiments about storytelling and I am putting on my tinfoil hat, deciding it is sign Mike wins. With that the jury commenced their roundtable discussion with the outwit portion of the game as Elizabeth congratulated them on making the end before telling them to cut the crap and be honest for everyone. Christian asked them to articulate how they outwitted with Nick talking about his penchant for naming his two person alliances, though John sassed him for peaking when he voted him out and asked for more recent information which Mike called bullshit on when he explained he was sad that Carl and Davie were blindsided. John then asked for Mike to outline his game, which Angelina decided was her time to speak, talking about being public enemy number one before working her way through the game. And did you know she gave up immunity for rice? Well that reminder pissed off Davie.

After being shushed by Davie and told to move on, she handed the floor to Mike who explained he made so many relationships and that was his strength. Gabby questioned their lack of relationship, though congratulated him for getting rid of her as he couldn’t trust her. Alison asked him to apologise for being a dick when she was voted out – which he did – before he explained how he went back to his anxious, nerdy roots in the game and ultimately, he used it to his advantage to downplay his threat level. Nick jumped in and said he tried to do that, however ultimately had to play the game to survive. Gabby focused on the different treatment of women, Kara agreed and congratulated Mike for making it to the end.

Dan kicked off the outplay portion of the game, asking Mike how he contributed around camp. Mike completely shut him down, explaining her played to his strengths and also always gave it his all. Davie asked them to articulate how Nick and Angelina were a Goliath and David respectively, with Angelina focussing on her disastrous idol find. Alison then asked if the fake idol was to embarrass her, which she denied before Nick shut her down and told Alison it was definitely to embarrass her and show off to the jury. Nick then spoke about his Goliath ways when it came to challenges and puzzles,

Rounding things out Angelina spoke about her way outlasting the competition, hitting rock bottom on the island before rising to the challenge and being the most triumphant, battle-tested member of the final three. Nick spoke about being an underdog the entire game and talking about how his life experience – his mother died of a drug overdose leading to him working with addicts to avoid prison – galvanised him to make it to use every advantage he could find to take people out and survive one more day. Mike rounded things out talking about how he wasn’t scared being out on the island or being voted out, focusing on the journey rather than the win. Which was far more powerful than I made it sound, as Alison welled up.

With that the jury voted, John proud of Nick, Gabby started to cry, Christian shocked me and voted for Mike. None of them, however, voted for poor Angelina who landed in third place. While I loved her for the drama and for calling out the sexism that exists within Survivor – Dawn should have won Caramoan and don’t at me – her game was definitely flawed. I mean, she managed to go from being on the bottom, to finding a strong alliance and controlling the merge. But then decided to embarrass someone that knew they were getting booted on their way out the door, and that has more to do with her loss. Which I told her as we smashed a Chicken Angelinguine Keeleek together, huddled for warmth under my jacket.

 

 

Landing in third place can be a pretty depressing thing. You can argue that you were robbed if you were taken out in the final days, but third place means you were the worst option at final tribal. This I opted not to tell her, and focused on the comforting carby, creamy goodness of this pasta. And given how her mood quickly changed, I think that was a good choice.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chicken Angelinguine Keeleek
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g linguine
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
1 leek, sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
500g chicken breast, sliced
2 tsp chilli flakes
300ml cream
1 lemon, juiced and zested
small handful tarragon, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
parmesan, to serve

Method
Get a pot of salted water on high heat and once boiling, cook as per the packet instructions.

Melt the butter and olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and once foamy, add the leek and garlic and sweat for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken and cook stirring for a further five minutes, or until browned. Add the chilli, cream, lemon juice and zest and tarragon, and cook for a further couple of minutes.

At this point the pasta should be done, so drain and add to the saucy pan, season and serve. Cover in parmesan and devour, thankful to be alive despite scaling the largest cliff in the southern hemisphere without any support.

 

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Cookara & Kayream Ice Cream

Dessert, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, Sweets, TV Recap

Forgoing any fallout from tribal council – and any previously on from me outside the fact Davie finished sixth, Alison finished fifth and my puppy is cute and distracting – we arrived at the final immunity challenge where the tribe would need to add balls into a contraption using one arm with the last person to drop snatching immunity. Before getting an explainer – of the oft repeated challenge that JT and Jeremy won on their way to victory – Angelina was studying the contraption, despite it just being the balls dropping at alternating sides. In any event this is too boring to give a play-by-play, so Angelina was the first to drop after going to three balls, followed closely by Mike before Kara suffered the painful Wentworth style heartbreak of losing final immunity as trying to drop the fourth ball. And Nick secured his hat trick of immunity wins, shocked that he took it out and guaranteeing himself a shot in the final three. Slash that a David will make it to the end.

Back at camp Angelina was thrilled by Nick’s victory, since it is a win for her and she will be dragged to the end. Mike however pulled Nick aside first, explaining that he is the easiest person to beat, Kara then worked to convince him that while she is likeable, she hasn’t played a great game and Angelina focused on the fact she is dislikeable. Not wanting to upset anyone, Nick called everyone together and explained that he would take Angelina to the end as he views Kara and Mike as the bigger threats. With that Mike and Kara got to work practising fire, with Kara appearing to be the more successful of the two while Mike eventually got there despite his extreme anxiety.

At tribal council Nick spoke about how happy he was to have a place in the final three, while everyone gave some low-key pitches before he confirmed that he would be dragging Angelina to the end. Tragically without her even having to beg for it. With that Mike and Kara sat down to make fire, Kara excited and Mike overcome with sheer terror. Kara quickly got flame, though it quickly went out. Mike eventually got a spark and the flame managed to hold as he desperately tried to build a structure to maintain a fire. Kara got another flame, which once again went out. This happened again before Mike’s fire continued to grow, it burnt through the rope and he managed to earn his place in the final three and sending poor Kara to the jury.

Despite the tragic way she exited the game – fire should only be a tie breaking, in my opinion – Kara took exiting the game without ever receiving a single vote in stride. I mean, that is a sign the thing is flawed right? She was never targeted and while it may weed out a goat going to the end, I feel like she had a genuine shot and winning and deflecting the target from herself is more a reason as to why she didn’t receive votes. Obviously I went on this rant to her and she was super thankful about it, but no doubt she was thrilled when I wheeled out a couple of bowls of Cookara & Kayream Ice Cream and shut the hell up.

 

 

Cookies and cream is arguably one of the most universally beloved ice creams, and I would argue that this quick and easy no-churn version is near perfection. Sweet ripples of velvety ice cream, layered with crunchy biscuits? I can’t. Too much.

Enjoy!

 

 

Cookara & Kayream Ice Cream
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
600ml double cream
375g condensed milk
3 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup Oreos or other generic, less murdery chocolate cookies, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the double cream, condensed milk and vanilla extract in the bowl of a stand mixer, and whisk on low until soft peaks form.

Remove from the mixer, fold through the Oreos, transfer to a container and freeze overnight.

The next day, remove it from the freezer and devour.

 

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Alison Raybouldy Mary

Drink, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor yada yada yada, Davie was blindsided. This is a six person finale people and I have a teeny puppy fighting for my attention, I can’t give you more than that. How hard is my life, right?

Back at camp poor Nick was feeling betrayed by his allies, confused as to why they would choose to lie to him and chucking the shit that they couldn’t bring themselves to give him one vote. Angelina followed him as he stormed down the beach, trying to allay his fears and remind him that they will be going to the final three together. Nick was concerned that Mike would target him next despite Angelina assuring him that he is safe, yelling at Mike, Kara and Alison that Mike has no shot against Alison. Mike tried to go and talk to Nick and while he reassured him that Alison will be the next to go, he vowed to take it Nick if he didn’t simmer down and threatened his game.

Probst returned for the final five immunity challenge where the tribe would be required to stand on a tall pole in the ocean and fill a tube using a bucket of water to release a key … which is used to release puzzle pieces for them to solve. Poor tall, skinny Alison struggled to maintain balance while Nick took the lead. Somehow Alison managed to close the gap and overtake him despite being struck by fear, allowing her to start solving the puzzle before anyone else made it to shore. Nick and Kara soon arrived, followed by Mike as poor Angelina struggled with the challenge. Despite being first to the beach, Nick soon overtook Alison and snatched immunity before anyone got close.

Everyone congratulated Nick on his back-to-back immunity win before Angelina pulled Nick and Mike aside to lock in the vote for Alison, though did ask that they jump on board to create a huge show at tribal council to win the jury over. She decided that Mike should convince Alison and Kara to vote for her before she plays the idol and saves herself. Given Mike doesn’t want to help build her resume nor piss off Kara, he approached Kara to tell her about the plan and generally talk smack about the absurdity of Angelina’s plan. Sadly that appeared to backfire as Kara approached Alison, filled her in and suggested they get rid of Mike instead. Alison then took the plan to Nick in the hope of swaying him after being blindside, which he was obviously open to … however he and Kara then caught up and they vowed to vote together though weren’t sure who would be tougher to beat in the final three out of Alison and Mike.

Oh and Angelina then made a fake hidden immunity idol and led Alison to find it, just to rub in her potential demise even further which is evil. But really good television and will totally see her get torn to shreds, should Alison go and she makes the end.

At tribal council Nick admitted to being shitty about being left out of the last vote before Angelina explained that she comforted him and reminded him that everyone has felt that at one point or another. Probst reminded them that Davie challenged them to make a bigger move than his blindside, which appeared to piss off Mike since there goes a promised jury vote. Angelina and Alison acknowledged their friction, Mike and Alison appeared to now have friction while Nick and Kara sat pretty, realising that their decision will decide the final four and get rid of the biggest threat. With that the tribe voted, Mike gave an extremely sassy voting confessional and Kara voted to ensure Angelina’s idol play is unsuccessful. Alison played the fake idol, pretty certain that it is fake while Angelina snickered, admitted she made it and then played her idol, over explaining the process much to the disgust of the jury.

Oh, did I mention Alison was voted out?

Despite Angelina’s nasty slash hilariously catastrophic idol theatre, Alison arrived at Ponderosa as happy and delightful as she has been all game. Except when she is hangry, obviously. After getting a brief check-up – I like free medical care, ok – and checking each other’s pulses, Alison deemed me needed a drink to calm our nerves. Which is convenient, since I had a pitcher of Alison Raybouldy Mary ready to distract from her end-game loss.

 

PHOTO 1

 

I don’t know why, since alcohol, but I’ve always been against bloody Marys. Maybe it has something to do with Kirsten Cohen’s battle with alcoholism, I don’t know? In any event, they are totally delicious and let’s be honest, allow you to drink before midday without judgement. Which is enough.

Enjoy!

 

PHOTO 2

 

Alison Raybouldy Mary
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
½ cup tomato juice
2 shots vodka
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
¼ tsp Tabasco sauce
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp black pepper
2 lemon wedges
ice, to taste
2 stalks celery

Method
Divide the tomato juice, vodka, Worcestershire, hot sauce, salt and pepper between the glasses and stir to combine.

Squeeze the lemon wedges into each and leave in the glass.

Top with ice, garnish with the celery and down.

 

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Davie Sazerickenbacker

Drink, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor 20 new castaways arrived on a boat where Probst split them into two tribes based on whether they were successful or not, which is really harsh when you lay it out plainly, no? For 35 days they were hammered by the weather, to the point a wild wave took out poor Pat as he was thrown about a boat off camera. With that alliances shifted throughout the game with Jessica, Jeremy voted out before Bi quit and the tribes switched up. That lead to Natalia, Queen Natalie and Lyrsa heading out the door before the tribes merged – you get what I’m up to now right? – and Elizabeth, John, Dan, Alec, Carl, Gabby and Christian headed to the jury, leaving Angelina, Nick, Davie, Kara, Mike and Alison to battle it out for the win.

The day after Christian got the boot, everyone woke as early as possible and commenced the hunt for a rehidden idol, clearing learning from Ben’s win. Mike knew how big the stakes were, Alison felt she was on the hot seat and needed to save herself before Angelina finally fulfilled her premiere confessional by finding the clue to the hidden immunity idol. She was instructed to find a ladder, dig it up and prob it against a huge rock. Sadly after she undug her ladder and hid it for later, she discovered she lost the clue and tragically had to make her move ASAP. So back she went to find the ladder and climbed the rockwall behind the well … and then got stuck. Surprisingly no one realised she had gone, so she returned to the well to discover Nick, Davie and Alison, breaking down to say she fell from a tree as a cover. Dr Alison checked her for bruises, Nick hugged and damn, she is an icon and I love her.

My boy Probst returned for the final six immunity challenge where they would race through obstacles, release a stair puzzle, solve said puzzle, ascend said stair puzzle and solve another 63 piece puzzle. Immunity came with a side of spaghetti, GB and cake, so er’ryone was even more excited. Hopefully Angelina can handle it after her injury. It was neck and neck at the start until Kara and Davie started to pull away from the pack, with Angelina, Nick and Mike closing the gap and poor Alison painfully struggling to throw things. Kara began to pull away further, with Mike, Angelina and Davie following closely behind. Given it is a ridiculously huge puzzle of the logo everyone eventually closed the gap, though it appeared Kara and Angelina were in front. Though I’m not Christian, so what would I know? Turns out nothing, as Nick snagged immunity and continued the ‘no double winners’ streak.

Obviously Probst gave him the opportunity to share his reward with one other person, selecting Angelina to join him since she is vego and can eat the crap he isn’t interested. Probst then obviously gave him another person to share it with, with Davie telling him he got the family reward so he doesn’t need to share it with him leaving Mike ‘also a vegetarian’ White to snag an invite and TBH, secure a Jabeni final three alliance – #JabeniStrong – no? An emaciated Alison started to breakdown, desperate to have something to eat and finally get a win in the game which is sad and all, but you’ve got a couple of days left at which point you should be ok to suck it up.

Back at camp the winning trio went to the well, where there feast was laid out in front of them and Angelina desperately tried not to think about the idol that is hidden around her. While Alison, Kara and Davie sulked over some rice, they all spoke about being concerned by Nick referencing Jabeni strong. Back at the well Angelina turned conversation to the final three and discussed who to target, with Nick desperate to get rid of Alison while the others focused on Davie, concerned Alison would have an idol. With that Angelina shared that she had found the clue but struggled to find an idol, so the trio searched high and low before Mike pointed out the obvious place it would be hidden. And just like that, Angelina is the only woman to find an idol this season.

Everyone reconvened at camp to scramble before tribal with Alison pulling Angelina aside to see whether she could save her. Angelina explained that she has the power to save her given she has been in control, though wasn’t sure if she would which seems unnecessarily gloaty. Meanwhile Mike and Kara caught up, with Mike explaining that the other two want to target a breaking down Alison but he believes Davie is finishing strong and as such, desperately needs him gone. Kara was completely on board, so Mike approached Angelina to see if she would join them and avoid it going to a tie.

At tribal council Nick spoke about the joy of winning immunity before Angelina spoke about a tonne of names being thrown out, which is hard given only five people can receive votes. Like me Alison called bullshit, pointing out it is either her or Davie tonight, which the latter agreed with since they very well could have gone last week. Angelina slyly took ownership of her game, saying she could have gotten Alison out at the last two tribal councils but she didn’t. Nick was glad people were on the same page as him, Mike was hoping he was on that page and Davie gave a lowkey threat, saying that should someone be hurt by their blindside, it could cost people the win. With that, the tribe voted, Angelina held onto her hard won immunity idol and poor Davie found himself blindsided from the game. Though promising to vote for whoever orchestrated the blindside, despite his threat. Which Mike obvi was keen to point out was him.

Given his promise on the way out the door, Davie was impressed that the tribe felt he had to be blindsided and was thrilled to have made an impact. Though maybe it has more to do with the fact that he is a super positive person, rather than actually being thrilled about it rather than say, winning. But I guess, when smashing a tray of Davie Sazerickenbacker, you’d be feeling a little happy too I guess.

 

 

I’ve only recently gotten into the sazerac – thanks Martha and Snoop! – but damn if I’m not all in, balls deep on this potent little drink. Sour, sweet and packing a punch, you don’t need to many to be filled with joy. Liquor induced or otherwise.

Enjoy!

 

 

Davie Sazerickenbacker
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
½ cup rye whisky
1 tsp muscovado sugar
3 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
½ tsp absinthe
lemon peel

Method
I used the very specific method outlined on Esquire – though with some slight tweaks to ingredients – and while it sounds a bit redic, I encourage you to follow them exactly as it’s delicious. Place the sugar in an old-fashioned glass with a few drops of water to dissolve. Fill it with ice, whiskey and the bitters, and stir to combine.

Divide the absinthe between two additional old-fashioned glasses and roll it around to coat the inside of the glasses, disposing – gasp – anything else. Divide the whiskey between the glasses, add a twist of lemon and down.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

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Christian Hubisquie

Main, Soup, Survivor, Survivor: David vs. Goliath, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor four Davids and four Goliaths remained in the game, however Nick and Gabby realised that they needed to turn on fellow David Christian – confusing, no? – if they wanted to have a chance of winning. Sadly for them Davie warned him of the plan allowing him to play his idol and save himself, resulting is Gabby herself being blindsided from the game.

Things were relatively calm when Kalokalo returned to camp with everyone congratulating Christian on his well played idol. Despite voting for him at tribal, Nick went and congratulated him and tried to clear the air – again – and while he was sad the plan failed, he was glad to be able to hide a fake immunity idol in the hopes that he could get them to stop looking and snag himself the rehidden one. However while he, Angelina and Mike caught up with Christian by the raft, he decided to find the fake one. Mike took the intel back to Kara and Davie, and while Kara believed it, Davie didn’t believe that it would be hidden under the raft and figured out Nick was faking it (clearly he’s never heard of Ben)! The next morning Davie went searching for the idol the next morning, hoping to avoid Nick getting a second and powering to the final three. He then pulled in Christian and told him that Nick did have two idols and that they need to deal with him ASAP.

Confused? Same.

My boy Probst returned for this week’s reward challenge – for a helicopter ride to a luxury feast – where the tribe would be required to untangle themselves from a rope, gathering enough to make it through obstacle and throw bags to knock over all their blocks. The challenge was a complete blowout, with Davie knocking off most of his blocks before anyone even started throwing. Sadly for him he didn’t have enough rope, leaving him only two bags to throw with as Nick closed the gap. He and Nick continued to throw with one block remaining each before Davie just snatched victory. As Probst is want to do, he gave Davie the chance to invite one person along with him, paying Nick back for the family visit. He then got a second opportunity, leading to Angelina doing what she does best, begging to come along on reward for giving up her shot at immunity for the tribe’s rice. Sadly Davie gave zero fucks, taking Kara as she protected him during the swap. Much to Angelina’s chagrin.

When the losers returned to camp Angelina continued to seethe and shared her feelings with everyone. She then made a massive pot of rice, and TBH I am scared for Davie’s safety. Meanwhile Davie and his frenemy Nick and bestie Kara arrived at the reward where they quickly got to work smashing a tonne of food. After Nick went to have a food nap, Davie filled Kara in on Nick’s idols and the two vowed to blindside him at the next tribal. They returned to camp well fed, before Kara pulled Alison aside to bring her in on the Nick blindside, bringing joy to Alison as she finally feels safe. Alison then approached Mike to see if he would join them and while he agreed that Nick is a big threat, he isn’t sure he is the most pressing one at this moment.

Davie got up early the next morning to go hunting for the real rehidden idol, which he quickly found. Wait no, it was a note for an advantage which told him to go to the end of the beach where he was greeted by a Ghost Island set up which handed him an idol and gave him the opportunity to risk his vote to extend its power, like the great Chris Noble. Thankfully Davie isn’t an idiot, knowing it is too late in the game to risk his vote, sticking with its single-tribal power.

Probst returned for this week’s reward challenge where everyone would have to stand on a narrow perch and balance a bunch of balls on a disc, which you know is my favourite as I live for Probst ball puns. Everyone survived the single ball round, however Kara and Angelina quickly dropped when they added a second, Davie’s separated – which is uncomfortable – and he soon followed them, as did Christian, leaving Alison, Mike and Nick to battle it out for immunity. Nick dropped just before they moved to the three ball round where they both struggled almost instantly as Alison’s dropped out of nowhere handing Mike individual immunity and continuing the no repeat winners streak.

Back at camp Mike was feeling confident and ready to make a big move and take control of the game. Meanwhile Nick felt taking out Alison is the most pressing issue, while Kara is still pushing to get rid of Nick. And I just remembered that Christian is here since he has been non-existent this episode. Mike must have had the realisation too and decided that it is still critical to target Christian since he doesn’t have immunity nor an idol, trying to convince Alison and Nick to join his cause. Meanwhile Nick and Davie caught up, with Nick admitting his idol find was completely fake and as such, Davie was back being aligned with Nick and was ready to take out Alison. Mike noticed Nick talking to Christian and Davie, and decided it was time to make sure Nick was loyal to him. This led to Mike telling Nick about the plot against him leaving the votes split and hopefully, Mike can rally enough to send Christian home.

At tribal council Nick spoke about the game not slowing down, Angelina admitted to focusing on keeping the right people to take her to the end and Davie was confused about how to figure out who he trusts. Christian worried about who was willing to work with him, rather than whether they’ve voted against him before, while Alison and Davie brought up the fluid nature of the game and needed to adapt tribal to tribal. Mike agreed, hoping that he can play with everyone, Nick praised everyone for playing a good game and Alison tried to deflect being a threat. Which Christian agreed was a difficult label to shake, not wanting to break Laura Morrett’s vote record from Blood vs. Water. Mike admitted that immunity made him confident, making people nervous look around as they headed off to vote.

Before Probst had a chance to tally the votes, Davie played his idol for himself which led to Nick playing an idol. Psyche it was fake, he just wanted to read the room and while Angelina assured him he was safe, he opted to play his real idol as well. Two votes rolled in for Davie – which obvi did not count – while two also fell to Alison and Christian, with Mike’s plan coming together and a third vote ultimately taking Christian out of the game. And burning the remaining idols – YAS!

While he was obviously disappointed to be out of the game, Christian took his loss in stride and was happy to be voted out in a complex manner with vote splits and multiple idols. With that, we laughed, cried and ran some puzzle codes before sitting down to a piping hot bowl of Christian Hubisquie.

 

 

My favourite colour of Nutrimetics lipstick owned by my mother was Lobster Bisque, obviously, because to a four year old, bisque is a hilarious word. In any event I always thought that one day I would have lobster bisque, until I learnt that lobster was seafood. Which is the long way of telling you, lobster is out, tomato is in and all is right so in the world.

Well except for the fact Christian was booted. But enjoy!

 

 

Christian Hubisquie
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 carrots, halved and sliced
2 celery stalks, sliced
2 tbsp flour
4 cups chicken stock
800g can diced tomatoes
small handful of parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves
2 bay leaves
1 cup cream
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Melt the butter in a dutch oven over medium heat with the oil until well combined and a little foamy. Add the onion and sweat for five minutes, stirring occasionally allowing it to get charred to add to the flavour. Add the garlic, carrot and celery and cook for a further five of minutes.

Add the flour and cook, stirring, for a minute or two, or until it loses its flouriness. Add the stock, tomatoes and herbs and quickly stir to combine. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for half an hour, stirring occasionally.

Remove from the heat and blitz with a stick blender until smooth. Stir through the cream, season and return to heat until cooked through. Serve immediately with a dash of fresh cream.

 

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