While I will gladly complain about the entire drop the 4 schtick and the permanent reduction in days – please Probst, I like my traditions sweet angel – I am sitting at an impasse, wondering how we’re ever going to get a more majestic winner than last season’s iconic Maryanne.
I mean, sure, I will fall in love with the latest batch of 18 new castaways Probst and Co. have dumped on a myriad of islands in Fiji to battle it out. But Maryanne was a star. She was messy, she was emotional, she was passionate, she was kind and honestly, she was a damn delight to watch.
I know I’m meant to be here reminding you that yes, I am still on Probst’s personal payroll to provide culinary comfort to the castaways to ease their post-boot pain. But could you imagine a world in which Maryanne had won but four seasons earlier – don’t worry about dropping that one – and competed on Winners at War.
It. Would. Have. Been. AMAZING.
That being said, I have high hopes that if we can still find an icon like her after 42 seasons, we surely will find someone to love in the 43rd. So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride while awaiting my post-boot catch-up/s next week!
Previously on All Winners the dolls put on a charity variety show for their penultimate challenge. And given it was going to be an epic show, Ru was generous enough to give out THREE stars each for the top two. Meaning whoever landed in the top got an express pass to the finale. Shea did an original song and was 100% Janet while Monet was the Phantom of the Opera, snatching their place in the top two, booking a ticket to the finale alongside Jinkx. As the person with the most stars, Monet had to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And while it was heartbreaking to watch for poor Jaida, Monet selected her twinner to join her. But don’t despair, because Jaida and the rest of the bottom four would ALSO compete for a crown. That of Queen of She Already Done Had Herses.
Backstage the top four were giddy to be eligible for the final crown and $200k, though given the bottom four are still in it for $50k, none of them were overly sad. Raja asked Monet how it felt to have the most stars, while she calmly explained it just means she is better than the rest of her sisters. Monet apologised for crushing Jaida’s dream, explaining she went with Trinity because she won more challenges. And they have seen some shit. While Jaida charmingly cussed her out for going with someone she has known for years, over someone she met on the first day of the season. The Vivienne was just giddy to be in the running for some money after winning a web series on her season, Jinkx gently told everyone she wants it the most and then Monet and Trinity gagged nobody by admitting they had an alliance.
LalapaRuza Day arrived with everyone a little subdued before talk turned to who they think will win the She Already Done Had Herses Crown, with Raja backing herself, while The Viv and Yvie pointed out they have each won a couple of lip syncs in their time.
Ru dropped by to thank the girls for building the legacy of the show before giving the girls one final Mini Challenge with the Pit Crew. Which was actually just getting into 15 minute quick drag and rocking a soul training. Jaida was obviously adorable and charming and looked stunning while doing it, Raja gave stoned aunty realness in all the right ways, Monet was hilarious, Shea was sexy AF, Trinity was a creepy mess and I LIVE, Jinkx did a Natasha Lyonne reprise while Yvie was a purple Diana Ross and The Viv was ultimate chav queen and ugh, I love them all. Which is the sentiment Raja shared, feeling like the 8 of them were destined to be here in this moment together and how she is reinvigorated by knowing them. AND AM I CRYING?!
We pivoted to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross took their seats as the dolls stomped the Grand Finale Eleganza Runway. Jaida was stunning in a shimmering, dripping white delight in honour of old Hollywood black excellence, Raja was captivating as an iridescent insect queen and was fucking fierce. The Viv gave a sexy black showgirl ball gown, in stark contrast to her original finale gown. Yvie gave three tier cotton candy cake, Jinkx was a stunning medieval maven, Monet was perfection in a futuristic Wakandan nude illusion, Shea was a frilled warm toned delight while Trinity gave baby pink princess realness.
The judges obviously felt Jaida was absolute perfection on the runway, as she was every damn week. And funny, charming, naughty and delightful. Raja rightly was praised for being the look queen of the season and for being such a joy to watch, each and every week. The Vivienne was praised for being such a powerhouse, serving stunning looks and slaying as a performer. They lived for Yvie giving something different each week and just being so good. Jinkx was universally beloved for just being so damn good at every thing she did. Monet was praised for bringing the soul and having the best time. Shea was praised for always having a message and elevating every damn moment, while Trinity was rightly praised for being 100% joy all season, and for leaning into the stupid and being kind with all her sisters.
Ru once again thanked the dolls for all that they have done, squeaking out a tear as she praised them for being heroic beacons for the community. A sobbing Monet then thanked Ru for giving them this show and the platform, and for the love she has given them all throughout the years.
And again, I’m crying.
We then got another live performance from Ru with some creepy/sexy clowns. And now I’m horny crying and so uncomfortable with myself.
Thankfully we moved on with Jaida, Raja, The Vivienne and Yvie returning to the stage for the She Already Done Had Herses Lip Sync Smackdown Lalaparuza For The Crown. Zaddy Alex dragged out the wheel with The Viv selected to compete in the first round, before Alex’s second spin chose her opponent as Yvie. Bruno and Bryce returned with The Viv selecting Bryce’s box, meaning she and Yvie would be lip syncing to Push It by my girls Salt’n’Pepa. Much to her regret, knowing this is right in Yvie’s wheelhouse.
As soon as the song kicked off it was clear the fear was very well founded as Yvie had all the energy and perfect moves for the song. Backflipping around the stage and being an all around star. That being said, The Viv was hilarious, giving iconic comedy and playing to her strengths, mocking what Yvie was doing and living her best life. Tragically though, it wasn’t enough, as Yvie progressed to the final round, leaving The Viv to finish in 7th/8th place. Which really doesn’t show how damn well she performed this season, because she ate. And was more than deserving of her participation sceptre.
Jaida and Raja took to the floor where Bruno returned to unveil their song, Let’s Hear It for The Boy and well, these two killed it. As you would expect. Raja lived every damn moment of the song, exuding joy and once again proved she is still a total star. While Jaida hit every lyric and kicked and flipped around the stage, there was no competing with Aunty Raja’s comedy, fun and general vibe. As such, she progressed to lip sync for the She Already Done Had Herses Crown while the newest icon Jaida sashayed away. No doubt with a new, massive following of fans and confidence in herself as a performer. And ugh, fuck I love Jaida. Particularly because she wanted Raja to buy her a wine AND farted in Michelle’s direction as her exit line.
We then pivoted to the top four as Jinkx, Monet, Trinity and Shea arrived for their first round of lip syncs with Alex’s wheel selecting Jinkx for slot number one, facing off against Shea Coulee. Jinkx then got lucky with Bruno’s box, scoring my girl Lady Gaga’sJudas as their song. Both of the dolls were nervous to be facing off against their sister, which was correct given they were both absolute fire. Jinkx served witchy vamp while Shea was desperate not to suffer the same fate as her last lip sync for the crown, serving a sexy reveal and being an all around bad arse. But yeah, there was no taking my eyes off Jinkx and the magnetic fire she had. Carrying her all the way to lip syncing for the crown. Much to her shock. With Shea being such a talented star, she was just overjoyed for her sister and grateful for her third journey in the competition. And well, if you do not stan Shea, please go to another website, because we stan Shea in there ‘ere parts.
The twinners took the stage and learnt from Bryce’s box that they’ll be lip syncing to – vom – So What by Pink. And despite that, they both served. While I hate that song they were both on fire. They had the attitude and all the right vibes, were absolutely hilarious and bounced off each other so damn well. I mean, it was a SHOW, as Trinity flipped around the stage, Monet was jump splitting and both had perfect comedic timing. And well, if there could be another double crowning moment to face Jinkx, I would take it, but ultimately Ru selected Monet to proceed to lip sync for the crown. And Trinity being Trinity, she was just absolutely charming and gracious in defeat and well, stan her too because she had been an absolute joy this season.
AND OH MY GOD TRINITY AND SHEA WERE FELLED BY A LIP SYNC FOR THE CROWN A SECOND TIME.
Raja and Yvie returned to the stage to lip sync for the secondary crown of the season to Sisters Are Doing it For Themselves. And based on the song alone, you should already know that my favourite Raja ate. Then came back for second and thirds. Yvie is obviously a killer lip syncer and performer, giving acrobatic perfection in every corner of the stage AND a fake-out failed wig reveal. But Raja is just SO enchanting, feeling every lyric and not only having the best time, but dragging you along for all the joy. And well, that was all it took to give Aunty Raja the Queen of She Already Done Had Herses Crown. And again, I AM CRYING.
Raja started to sob as she thanked Ru for putting her life on the trajectory it has had, with Ru praising her spirit and for being such a star. And well, she loves Yvie just as much. Which is why she also got a sceptre, as Ru reminded her that this stage is forever hers, no matter what adversity she may face. Oh and Raja was just grateful for the cashola.
Jinkx and Monet took to the stage for the final lip sync for the title of Queen of All Queens, to Swish Swish by Katy Perry – vom – and my dear Nicky Minaj. And well, Jinkx was desperate for the crown, while Monet vowed to leave everything on the stage to snatch it from her. Monet slow flossed, Jinkx served Carole Baskin realness, Monet flung cash, Jinkx stayed in the comedic pocket, Monet vogued and well, it was a show as both the dolls fought valiantly. Though ultimately, obviously, it was Jinkx that took out the victory and watching her breakdown over the honour was just beautiful. As is her love for her fellow sisters.
And seeing how happy Monet was for her sister was just beautiful, because she, like everyone else in the cast, is an absolute star and easily could have snatched the crown. Since she totally dominated the lip sync. I mean, did you see the lipstick she had prepared with Jinkx’s name written on it? Iconic.
Conveniently, the queen that won the most challenges also went on to win the season, so thankfully I didn’t have to sit around awkwardly with a runner-up, alone in the VIP style and instead got to have a true celebration.
As soon as Jinkx exited stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her just how proud of her I was. While Jinkx had always been a massive favourite to take out an All Winners season as we all dreamed of getting one, so managed to not only live up to the expectations but exceed them with flying colours. Every week, she was consistently perfect and showed just how versatile a performer she is. And that, to me, is more than enough reason to split an Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon salad.
This classic Meatball Shop salad truly proves the Springfield you don’t make friends with salad mantra wrong. It is fresh, zingy, hearty and oh so delicious. And the perfect way to honour the inaugural Queen of all Queens. (Because we better get another winner’s season ASAP)!
Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon Serves: 6.
Ingredients ¼ cup olive oil, plus extra for frying 1 large portabello mushroom, stem removed and cap cut into a large dice ¾ tsp kosher salt ½ bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 5cm lengths 1 romaine lettuce, trimmed, washed and torn into small pieces ½ fennel head, thinly sliced 30ml sherry vinegar 1 tsp Dijon mustard
Method Heat a lug of olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook the mushroom with ½ a teaspoon of salt until it starts to brown and the liquid has evaporated. Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the asparagus for a couple of minutes, before draining and running under cold water.
Combine the mushroom, asparagus, lettuce and fennel in a bowl. Whisk the ¼ cup of olive oil with the sherry vinegar, mustard and remaining salt before tossing to coat, serving and devouring. Regally.
Previously on All Winners as the dolls edged closer to another crown, Jaida and Jinkx were way out in front of the pack, while Shea was trailing behind with a solitary star. Facing another roast, Trinity was nervous after bombing both Season 9 and All Stars 4’s versions. Thankfully she got her redemption, with a killer set that was oh so joyous and silly. Once again all the girls were very strong in the challenge, though it was ultimately Jinkx – who followed DeLa to secure her fifth win in a single season – and Trinity that were deemed the top two. And once again, Jinkx powered through the lip sync, emerging as a lowkey assassin to secure another $10K. Though not the power to block, given Ru decided to suspend All Winners rules for the final challenge.
Backstage Jinkx was on cloud nine, thrilled to definitely be making it to the top four while the rest congratulated her on dominating the season. And were thrilled about not being blocked. Trinity too was proud to be guaranteed a spot in the finale with her fourth win, while Shea was essentially ready to accept defeat and the fact she will not be a finalist. Starting to question whether she can nap through next week rather than watch them lip sync for the crown. Jaida gave Shea a pep talk, reminding her that anything can happen in Drag Race and she isn’t even confident she will get there with her three stars. And oh God, please don’t be shitty foreshadowing.
The next day the dolls were all ready to fight for the last stars while Jaida showed off her cute arse. Her words, though I won’t disagree. Before we could see it unsheathed, Ru arrived to announce that for their final Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the Drag Race Gives Back Variety Extravaganza. With the winner of the lip sync not just getting $10K, but able to donate $30K to charity. Oh and this challenge is worth 3 stars, so yeah, condragulations Shea, you’re still in the game! But before they compete, they have to have a tic tac lunch opposite Ru and Michelle.
With all the bombs dropped, Ru exited as the dolls split up to prep for the talent show as Shea realised she just needs to win this challenge to make it to the end. Making her laser focused to kill the performance. Raja meanwhile was opening up to Trinity about her talent show performance, which is a traditional Indonesian dance number and fuck, give her the win and get her into the finale NOW.
Trinity was first to kiki with Ru and Michelle, talking about how different her life is thanks to Drag Race. She then spoke about her charity, Planned Parenthood and all that it does for the community before explaining to Ru that she doesn’t have small town ideals on account of being gay. And as she says, I LIVE! The Viv was next up talking about how the experience changed her, competing against people that she has looked up to and proving she deserves to be here. Her charity is Trans Lifeline and she will be singing an original song written by DIANE WARREN?!
Backstage Monet shared that she would be doing opera in the talent show and you just know this is going to be rudemption for the All Stars 4 talent show. She then dropped by Ru and Michelle with the former gushing over how proud she is of Monet, while she opened up about how powerful her fans are. And she will be singing for Black Power for Change, and requested that Ru wear opera glasses for the performance. Yvie meanwhile was effusive about how grateful she is to be back in the competition and to show a different side of herself. And since she is performing for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, I am rooting for her. She opened up about how her disease is slowly taking away her skills and while it sucks, she is proud of what she can do.
Talk backstage continued to be focused on the fact this final challenge is a fast track to the top four, which is what Shea spoke about with Ru and Michelle and how ready she is to fight. And since her song will be Luther Vandross does Janet Jackson for the Period Poverty Project, I look forward to her winning out this week. After Raja finished smoking Jinkx’s hair backstage, she dropped by to kiki with Ru and Michelle, admitting she still has her Season 3 tic tac at home. She then opened up about that while she grew up in a religious household, her family loved her and she appreciates the values they instilled in her. She then shared that she would be doing a traditional Balinese dance for the Trans Equality project. And best believe, it is her farewell performance. Because she is too tired to do the competition again.
Jinkx was up next talking about how she came in with an absolute fire and ready to make Ru proud. Which he shared that he was, and always wanted to see her shine as bright as she can. Jinkx opened up about how her sobriety has made her such a lighter, happier person with Ru opening up about her own sobriety too and how it had a similar impact on her mental health. Oh and Jinkx would be performing an original song for the Black Visions Collective. Jaida was her usual brand of adorable charm, opening up about letting go for her second round and just having fun. Which led to her learning, growing and loving herself and ugh, I love Jaida so damn much. Even more so after learning Free Black Therapy is her charity.
Runway Day arrived with everyone focused as they split up to prepare for a guaranteed shot at the top four. Raja by doing yoga, Trinity by running scales and getting energised, while The Viv was just excited to see everyone turn a killer show. Shea meanwhile was focused solely on the win and leapfrogging her way to the top four. While Monet was just terrified about bombing and looking a fool. Because opera is a very big swing. Yvie meanwhile pointed out that there is a possibility for a tie if two queens with two or less stars win, with everyone speculating how they would break it. Trinity opened up about feeling this is the best contest she’s ever been in, with Monet suggesting it is because there is no pressure because she was never going to win.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the panel by Hannah Einbinder as Trinity opened the show with a tonne of energy and all the charm. More importantly, she had four dancers without shirts on. Which was hot. Yvie was delivered in a chest before she gave full Yvie and was so damn fun. And acrobatic. Jaida was fierce as hell and looked absolutely perfect as she dropped all the beats. Which really shows how uncool I am. I mean, beats? But whatever, Jaida was amazing. Jinx was a star belting a confident, camp number about her growth between her seasons and well, it kinda felt like a victory lap because she is ready for that second crown.
Oh and she deepthroated the microphone.
Shea then came on stage and was perfection from start to finish, looking and sounding like an absolute popstar, complete with wind blown hair and well, this is why she is an icon. And why she is making it to the top four, as no one is topping this. Wait, no, Raja was fucking iconic and stunning, giving culture and heart. It was frenetic, hypnotic and like Raja, it was beautiful, warm and perfect. Did I mention I love Raja? Because, duh. The Vivienne gave an 80s-90s pop diva in her song, thankfully keeping her back-up dancers shirtless and well, it was stunning. And proving me wrong again, Monet came and did that and then some. Topping Shea’s performance, inspiring Ru to get the Opera glasses out and not missing a damn note as she emoted all through the opera as Hannah Einbinder and The Vivienne held back tears.
The judges loved how much fun Trinity had in the talent show, lived for Jinkx owning her power and stealing the moment and were gagged by Yvie’s fake-out opening and for thinking outside of the box. That she jumped out of. She then broke down, grateful to be back and do a farewell tour, sharing skills that she will soon lose. They praised The Vivienne for being so damn fierce and shining bright, while Shea received all the damn praise. All of it. Every thing she did this week, they loved every moment of it. With Hannah in particular speechless. Everyone was so grateful for Raja sharing so much of herself in the performance and were drawn in by her innate charm and beauty. She then broke down about how her dad’s favourite story to tell was about Raja running away at an airport and finding her performing this dance to a crowd.
Oh and she wants Indonesian Tourism to sponsor her.
Then, obviously, Monet also received all the praise and honestly, I’m not sure who is going to win this week. Because they also loved Jaida’s upbeat energy and how much of a star she is every time she is on stage.
Backstage the dolls were so proud of themselves for doing all that, Monet, Shea and Raja in particular. While Jinkx was just glad to not really have to worry about winning and to be able to just have fun. Trinity meanwhile was just proud to be entering Untucked fully clothed. Talk turned to who would be in the top with everyone agreeing Monet is definitely the top, with the second spot up for grabs. The Vivienne told her that the power of her voice literally brought her to tears, while Raja offered to buy everyone’s singles when they came out. Which is just adorable aunty.
Talk turned to Shea’s Janet level performance, with Trinity pointing out that while she only had one star before this week, she truly has slayed the entire competition and deserves her spot in the finale, should she have booked it. Oh and Shea just wanted to know what Jinkx singing while deepthroating feels like. When, you know. Everyone spoke about how emotional they felt on the MainStage, proud of everything they did and how close they’ve all gotten.
Then Hannah Einbinder arrived looking stunning and getting lavished in praise by the dolls. Which is exactly what she did to them too, wishing she could pay them all to have watched the. Which Raja was happy to oblige.
Ultimately it was Monet and Shea that landed in the top, booking their place in the top four opposite Jinkx. And well, since Monet now has the most stars, she would have to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And well, poor Jaida could see it coming a mile away as she put on a brave face before Monet gave Trinity the final place in the top four. Which is what she deserves, given she has four wins to Jaida’s two.
But don’t worry, because the bottom four would also have a chance for, well, Ru will reveal that in due course. Because there is a lip sync to be had, damnit!
Both the dolls demolished the singing budgie, our Kylie’s – who coincidentally is returning for the Neighbours finale tonight – Supernova. They both hit every lyric, were sexy and sensual and at points, completely in sync with each other. Monet was splitting, Shea was voguing and well, it was good. Standing ovation from their sisters, kinda good. Ultimately though it was Shea that jagged the ultimate cash prize for her charity before Ru gagged them all by giving each of their charities $10K, so everyone’s a winner I guess.
Particularly because the bottom four will also be competing in a lip sync smackdown of their own, for the title of Queen of She’s Already Done Had Herses and a cash prize of $49K. Wait, no, Michelle upped it to $50K with her titty cash.
As the shocked dolls exited backstage, I yanked Trinity out of Monet’s arms for our second last visit of the season. In what feels like a broken record, every season I feel like I won’t be rooting for Trinity. And every season, the first episode happens and her charm and talent shines through, and I have no choice but to stan. And honestly, third-appearance-Trinity is her best iteration – she was joyous, iconic, polished and oh so talented, that I couldn’t be happier for her competing for the crown a third time.
Anyway, I yanked her out of Monet’s arms and gave her a massive hug, congratulating her for another killer run. And for doing it with kindness and compassion for her fellow sisters. Which is reason enough alone for a Dulce de Leche Terrinity the Tuck.
I know, I know – it is another terrine for Trinity’s recipe collection! But this is a dessert one, so I feel like I should be given a pass. Sweet and salty, with a beautiful biscuit crunch, this is a quick and easy dessert which looks so, so decadent.
Method I want to say this is a super easy recipe, but that is assuming you’ve already whipped up the Vanilla Ice and Nick Lachey recipes. Or, you know, bought ice cream and dulce de leche.
Assuming that is all done, line a loaf tin with cling film and sprinkle half the crumbled biscuits along the base. Gently spoon in ⅔ of the ice cream to cover the crumbs. Blob in the dulce de leche, followed by the rest of the ice cream. Using a skewer, swirl the caramel through the loaf to give you a marbled texture throughout the terrine. Sprinkle the rest of the crumb over the top, cover with some cling and transfer to the freezer to set for a couple of hours.
When you want to devour it, remove from the freezer for ten minutes, then carve into slabs. And then devour.
Previously on All Winners the dolls were challenged with creating viral TikTok dances to sell their brand. Before that star-rich Trinity joked about wanting another star to poor single-starred Shea and Monet. While the last girl without being blocked Raja just desperately wanted to join the club. While everyone was strong in selling themselves and their brand, it was Jinkx with the least dance moves that stole the show as she hilariously made a sandwich. After following Ru’sMonet shone brightly, while Yvie gave moves that will totally be going viral. And obviously Raja was an icon. Because she is. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Monet that landed in the top before they slayed the iconic spoken word lip sync from Designing Women. Monet’s usual schtick was enough to snatch the win over her sister before she gladly blocked an equally happy Raja.
Backstage the dolls were living their best lives, none more so than Monet who was just excited to finally have another star. And ever the competitive optimist, now she was looking to finish with the most. The Viv was proud of her sisters for serving spoken word, with Trinity more jealous that she couldn’t participate rather than not jagging a win. Talk turned to how Raja would take the fact there is no plunger secret, which obviously cued her entry. And damn was she hilarious as she entered pissed, frustrated and so cute as she called them all cunts. I feel like a broken record, but the moment was iconic. Trinity then pointed out that Jinkx and Jaida are now in front with three stars each before congratulating Jinkx on winning 4 mother tucking challenges. Shea and Monet meanwhile were talking about their uphill battle to make it to the end before Jinkx sweetly dropped by and told them that if anyone could win the last two challenges and make it, it is Shea.
And Monet, which obviously made Shea feel less special.
The next day Kennedy Davenport hijacked Rumail to announce that the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors nominees were about to be named. Which was all explained when Ru arrived, as for this week’s Maxi Challenge they were all tasked with roasting their fellow nominees – or sisters – in honour of the iconic Kennedy Davenport. In front of Ronan Farrow, no less. More importantly, the order would be decided by fate as the pit crew arrived for a little mini challenge where the queens would have to pop a balloon against one of the zaddies bums. With the colour of the confetti in their balloon deciding their position. In the challenge, obviously.
Jaida topped her way to 7th place, Trinity thrust into 5th, Jinkx struggled her way into 4th – insert they’re all bottoms joke here – Monet quickly fucked into 6th, Yvie jagged 2nd, Shea busted into 3rd, while Raja brought sexy back before dominating her man into first. Leaving The Viv to close the show without even needing to pop her cherry. Though bless, she was still allowed.
After everyone had a cigarette and calmed down, they split up to work on their sets with Jinkx confident to be playing within her wheelhouse. Though kindly asked her sisters if there was anything off limits she should avoid. Jinkx admitted she was struggling to write for The Viv, while The Viv was more concerned about her jokes getting lost in translation. Shea, Trinity, Yvie and Jaida caught up, with Shea scared about getting enough stars by the finale, while Jaida and Yvie were terrified about popping their roast cherries. Though Yvie was ready to do her best. Jinkx and Monet joined the fray, with the latter reminding everyone she won the All Stars roast. And that Trinity lost. Badly. She meanwhile was nervous about overcoming one of her weaknesses, with Jinkx offering to pay her back for her design challenge kindnesses and help her out in any way possible.
Shea was first to run through her set with Ross and Solomon Georgio and was so damn charming. While Jaida just tried to flatter her way through it all, Monet was in her element, Raja was cruel and totally silly and I love it. The Vivienne unwisely looked to be reading Ru, while Jinkx was having the time of her life. Trinity slowly started to get out of her head and power through the nerves, while Yvie was just being Yvie. In the highest of all compliments.
Performance Day arrived as everyone split up to beat their mugs, with Yvie ready to be read though unsure what people will be able to find to say about her. Monet meanwhile wanted everyone to go in on her, hard, while Shea was just terrified given if she doesn’t win this challenge, it is highly unlikely she has a path to get to the end. Monet and Trinity meanwhile pulled themselves aside to strategise who to block and while they thought they were being super subtle, everyone knew what was up. And well, Jinkx was thrilled to call them out about it. Again. Raja and Yvie meanwhile wanted to catch their way up, while Jinkx grew panicked about potentially being blocked tonight, given it could cost her making it to the end. And she really wants to beat her competition bestie Monet in the end.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Ronan Farrow on the judges panel as the dolls made their way to the stage to open the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors Hall of Shade. Where icon Peppermint’s daughter Wintergreen gave the introductory address, a monologue delivered by Kennedy herself during her runs on the show. Which was everything. Raja opened the show and as usual, she was absolutely delightful and living her best life, as she just straight up vibed. Yvie went low and was oh so good and Shea was stunning as she charmingly destroyed her sisters before Jinkx absolutely dominated from start to finish, weaving big dicks and incest into an epic set. I mean, that timing! Trinity meanwhile did a killer job with zinger after zinger before Monet read her for filth for it, and then eviscerated all of her sisters. And it was so damn good. Jaida was cute and charming, despite her nerves. Well, until she just started reading herself, then she was gold. Before The Viv closed the show in brutal fashion. And it was perfect.
On the All Glowed Up runway Raja was stunning as an iridescent butterfly, Yvie was perfection as an illuminated mushroom patch, Shea was a gorgeously shimmering sunflower and Jinkx was a gloriously burning witch and ugh, it was amazing. Trinity was a neon carnival delight, Monet served sexy solar system realness, Jaida was a beautiful mermaid, though after dark, before The Vivienne closed the show as a gorgeous rainbow angel.
Before critiquing the dolls, Ru announced that this week the rules would be changing and nobody would be getting blocked. Since they want everyone on a level playing field for the final challenge. More importantly, the judges lived for how mean Raja was in the roast and for looking architectural and stunning on the runway. Yvie received praise for sticking to her vibe and serving a gorgeous runway. Shea meanwhile received universal praise for her stunning runway and for bringing power to her roast. Jinkx was obviously universally beloved, even though the judges had epically high expectations for her. Oh and they lived for her concept on the runway. Trinity too was universally beloved, from the roast to the runway and well, this was redemption. The judges lived for everything Monet gave them in the roast and for serving something classy and creative on the runway. While Jaida was clearly nervous in the challenge, they lived for how she powered through but more importantly, they thought her runway was absolutely perfect. Oh and the obviously adored The Viv for being dominant in every facet of the week.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally deliver in a roast on the show while Wintergreen straight up shot the show in drag. Until the girls convinced her to join them for a kiki, and encouraged her to take Wintergreen out on the road. Wintergreen in turn praised the girls for all that they do and how hard they work. Everyone donned their dressing gowns, grateful to be out of the runways given they were so uncomfortable. Yvie thanked everyone for being such killer artists and making them all better. Everyone praised Trinity for finally turning things around, while she pointed out that everyone is great. Particularly Shea, who didn’t even have notes. Shea in turn pointed out that while she is last place when it comes to stars, she has had such a fun journey with everyone that it doesn’t even matter to her.
Ronan Farrow then dropped by and well, I want his suit so badly. It was killer. As was Jinkx wanting to bone him. So badly.
Ultimately it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top before battling it out to Ava Max’s Kings & Queens. And well, Jinkx was a camp and poppy delight and it was oh so unexpected, I lived for every damn minute out it. Trinity was obviously on point with the comedy and all the lyrics, but there was no taking your eyes off Jinkx. I mean, she even did a damn cartwheel. Almost. Which proved to be enough to give her the ultimate win and net her another $10K.
Given how well she did in the challenge, it was kind of awkward to pull The Vivienne aside for some commiserations. Given she did THAT. That being said, she was disappointed to not land in the top, though the sight of her favourite scouser – me – made her feel so much better. I reminded her that like Raja, Shea and Monet before her, the number of wins and stars really don’t matter, given she has been so damn strong all season. I mean, the level of talent has been insane and The Vivienne has been the one to shine brightest. Which gave me the perfect excuse to reward her fire with equally fiery The Vivikorean Fire Pockets.
Another Brendan Pang number from Masterchef, these barely tweaked delights are the ultimate snack. Earthy, sweet and oh-so-spicy, they are the perfect snack for a cold rainy day or with an ice cold beer in the sweltering heat. So, like, whenever, I guess?
The Vivikorean Fire Pockets Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 1 cup water salt, to taste 500g chicken mince 4 shallots, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp gochujang 1 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tsp rice wine vinegar 1 tsp ground white pepper 1 tsp Korean chilli flakes ½ tbsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar ½ tsp sesame oil 1 cup grated vintage cheddar vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method Combine the flour and water in a bowl with a good pinch of salt, mixing with a fork until it has all come together. Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until nice and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.
Pop the chicken, shallots, garlic, gochujang, soy, vinegar, pepper, chilli, ginger, sugar and sesame oil in a larger bowl and scrunch with your hand until well combined.
Divide the dough into 8 portions and working one at a time, roll them out into a 20cm round. Place a couple of tablespoons of filling into the centre and top with a tablespoon of cheese. Working with your index finger and thumb, fold the dough towards the centre on top to enclose, pleating as you go until sealed. Place on a lined plate or baking sheet and repeat the process until done.
When it comes time to cook, heat a couple of tablespoons of the vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, place half the pockets in, pleated side down, and cook for about five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Flip and repeat the process for another five minutes. Transfer to a lined plate and add a little extra cheese to gently melt over the pleats and repeat the process with the remaining pockets.
Then obviously, serve immediately with a drizzle of Korean chilli oil. Before devouring. Greedily.
Previously on All Winners Jaida was joyously feeling her oats, out in front with three stars as the girls with only one started to worry about their path to the finale. None more than Monet. In the last Maxi Challenge the dolls acted in the epic scene Santa’s School For Girls, a Christmas, horror, teen movie hybrid. Raja and The Vivienne slayed, Trinity and Jaida were silly and fun while Jinkx did the best she could with the worst part in the scene. Ultimately though it was Raja and Viv who found themselves becoming the top two, with Raja slaying the lip sync and taking out the win. And girl, she was well and truly giddy with power as she joyous blocked former frontrunner Jaida.
Backstage Raja was well and truly feeling her oats, thrilled to not just jag a second star but to claim $10k. While The Viv was glad to finally get her second star on her third win, Jaida arrived and was heartbroken to be blocked while looking so damn cute. While Raja straight up pointed at her and laughed. Like a damn icon. As Trinity asked Jaida if she was happy about learning the secret of the plunger, Raja grew more and more jealous about the fact she isn’t in on the gag. Which obviously lead to Jaida floating the idea of nobody blocking Raja so she can never find out what she is missing out on. Talk turned to track records with everyone but Shea and Monet thrilled to be close to making it to the finale, before it descended into absolute chaos – as it so often does – with the star moment obviously being Shea’s Kevin McCalister impersonation.
Things were decidedly more calm the next day as Monet continued to smart about having only one star. Thankfully before she could get too in her feelings, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be making their own branded viral videos for social media, all to one of Ru’s songs. Because she is nothing if not a smart lady who is going to get those royalty cheques.
The dolls split up to talk through their ideas with Raja being totally relatable, knowing a tonne about TikTok dances but being disgusted by the thought of doing one. Everyone opened up about their brands with Monet starting to feel good about the challenge, which made her nervous, given she assumed there must be a catch. Jaida meanwhile was keeping it simple, Trinity was going to combine her signature three moves while Yvie was leaning into having no bones. That being said, she was super stressed given she hates viral dances and only uses the internet for cat videos. Which is so relatable, except I watch French Bulldogs and Bostons.
Jinkx meanwhile was smashing a peanut butter sandwich into her mouth which WOULD be relatable, except she used smooth rather than Super Crunchy. That being said, while everyone thought she was losing her grip on reality, like Katya before her, she was feeling pretty confident and committing to making a sandwich for her four bars.
Ru made a triumphant return – screaming wagon wheel watusi, no less – to check in with the girls with The Vivienne ready to do a so you can’t dance Viv-eo, Shea would Shea-ke it down to get a star, Trinity was doing THE tuck and Yvie was leaning into the odd by way of Gumby. Jinkx meanwhile was sticking with the sandie-j dance, leaning in to her middle aged mother persona, while Monet was going to be doing the ex-change and while Ru was confused by her explanation, her excitement and energy is clearly going to prove her well. As will Ru’s suggestion to lean into money moves.
When it came to shooting their dances, Yvie was living her best life and so much fun, Jinkx was so damn stupid and I loved every moment, Trinity was in full momager mode with her back-up dancers, Viv was silly, Shea shook it all up, Raja looked stunning, Jaida kept forgetting her lines and Monet thought she lost a nail.
Runway Day arrived with Monet excited to see how their dances turned out and more importantly, grab herself a second star. Finally. Shea meanwhile opened up about dreaming of being a dancer as a child, explaining that she took that vibe into the challenge. Shea and Monet then tried to identify their mononym, which immediately made Jaida want in. Trinity and Jinkx meanwhile kikied about their videos with the latter showing how she clearly understood the assignment, saying the dance was there but whatever, because she truly sold herself. Trinity was also happy with hers. They then spoke about stars, realising everyone either catches up this week or two girls can join Jaida out in front. The Viv, Raja and Jaida were also talking about stars with Raja questioning what she wanted more, another star or to finally learn the secret of the plunger. While Jaida joked about being blocked all the way to the end. And yeah, Raja is totally getting blocked, isn’t she?
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the judges panel by Ben Platt as Shea kicked off the What Lies Beneath runway in a stunning, tonal, blue gown, complete with her buns out. Jaida too went with icy shades of blues before revealing a stunning floral gown before serving stripes and a a fiery, floral nude illusion. The Viv went from Wicked Witch to Elsa to Elsa, in pants. Raja was a bright delight, serving hoops, spikes, flamingos and finally, body-ody-ody. Yvie went from a cocoon to a slimily slug, Jinkx was perfect in a Picasso suit to Monet – the artist, not her sister – gown before going Pollack housewife before rocking cubism. And yeah, it was great. Monet went Harriet Tubman, to Black Panther and then BLM and like Jinkx, it was perfect. Trinity meanwhile was a burlesque babe going from mermaid gown to sexy flower.
Shea’s video was hilariously serious giving confused moves and well, she looked fucking stunning. The judges lived for how charming she was in her video and by the fact her dance was totally achievable for a viral moment. Oh and then lived for her runways. They lived for how silly and on brand Jaida was serving the new diva rules. And obviously her outfits were deemed perfect. The Viv gave classic British humour, complete with taking the piss out of internet culture and the passion for repeating the words, The Viveo. And her musical theatre looks were deemed stunning. Aunty Raja gave self-help via dance video and ugh, it was so stupid I lived for every moment. Which is exactly how the judges felt, about the video and her runways.
Yvie gave full Yvie, ridiculous, camp and all limb. And well, I totally see her dance going viral within the next 24 hours. And the judges once again felt her runway was stunning, but her make-up was even better. Jinkx meanwhile stole the show, polished, wild, dumb and hilarious from start to finish. And had Ru nearly wetting her pants. And her art received universal praise for her work of art on the runway. Monet’s video oozed charm and personality as she leaned into Ru’s suggestions and like Yvie, will be viral in the next day. When it came to her runway, they all lived for how great she looked while serving such a powerful message. Trinity rounded out the show serving stupid in her video, being wild, sexy and so bloody fun. And rightly received universal praise for her stunning runway.
Backstage the dolls were loving their turn on the runway, mainly because Ben was flirting with all of them. Everyone praised each other on their looks, gushing over all the details and honestly, once again, I love seeing how much the dolls all clearly love each other. And how the competition has given them the space to show another side of themselves and try new things. Talk turned to their videos and who the girls think will be in the top, with Monet thinking it is down to her, Shea, Trinity and Jinkx. That in turn lead to talking about getting blocked with Raja talking about how fun it was to block one of her sisters, likening it to Monopoly. While Jinkx obviously didn’t like the concept of blocking, though mainly because she is one of two people that have had to do it twice. While Yvie and Monet felt left out, given they’ve never gotten to block.
After a detour about selfies, Ben Platt dropped by to kiki with the girls. And let me tell you, he was just so great as Dear in Dear Evan Hansen.
Ultimately it was Monet who landed in the top two alongside Jinkx before they competed for the ultimate win in a spoken word lip sync to the icnoic scene from Designing Women. Which was every bit as fun and delightful, and wild, as you can imagine. And while I will stan Jinkx until the day I die, there was no denying this was Monet’s moment. Just like the night the lights went out in Gerogia. She was silly, sassy and honestly a star, earning her $10k before she promptly blocked Raja. Who you just know is going to be pissed when she discovers there is no bloody secret next week.
As they were filing backstage, Jaida was shocked as I whispered at her to come and follow me. Given she has the most stars, alongside Jinkx. I then had to explain that Ru hadn’t shared the intel re. the star system before I set this season’s rules and as such, based it on wins. And tragically, she has the least amongst the dolls I have left. Which is a very long-winded explanation she didn’t care for, given she looks so cute in her runway. Which is the most Jaida way to explain that she doesn’t care for explanation and just wants some fuel for the final three weeks. Fuel in the form of some Jaida Essence Halloumi.
Yes, this is just a recipe for making cheese. But as you should know, halloumi isn’t just any old cheese. Salty, firm and gloriously squeaky – whether you like it or not – halloumi is the MVP of any meal. And it is even better when freshly made.
Jaida Essence Halloumi Serves: 1 person and a delightful icon.
Method Pour 1 cup of boiling water into a bowl and leave to cool before whisking in the rennet.
Meanwhile pop the milk in a pot over low heat and cook, stirring, until it hits 36°C on a candy thermometer and try to keep it at that temperature for as long as possible. Whisk in the rennet mixture for a few seconds before stopping the liquid completely. Cover and leave undisturbed for an hour, or until set. You will want to grab a curd and pull it apart, if it leaves a crack, it’s done. Otherwise leave for another half an hour.
When the curds are nice and set – and the temp is still at 36°C – use a bread knife to dice into 1-2cm cubes. Leave to rest for ten minutes before reheating to 40°C. Line a colander with the cheesecloth and place over a pot. Drain the curds from the whey and wrap the cloth tightly to form a block of curds. Pop a plate on top and place a weight on top before leaving for an hour or so to set.
Transfer the whey into a saucepan that is just a little bigger than the block and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Stir in 1 tbsp of salt and scoop any solids that form on the top (this is ricotta), then add the block of curds and poached gently until it rises to the top. Then drain.
To brine the cheese, mix the remaining cheese for 1.5L of water in a sterile jar until dissolved. Pop in the cheese and leave in the fridge to brine for a day.
Then, drain, slice and fry. Or whatever you want to do with halloumi.
Previously on All Winners Jinkx explained she blocked Viv for being on an upward trajectory and hoped to stop her dead in her tracks. She then handed her extra star over to Jaida, while Raja gave the universe balance as she handed hers over to Yvie. For the Maxi Challenge, the dolls performed in a Y2K Girl Groups challenge, with The Viv bringing the drama when Raja, Monet, Shea and Trinity formed their own group and left everyone else to form the other. That is until they came up with a killer, challenge winning concept and absolutely destroyed the performance. After everyone gave their best Dolly on the runway, Viv and Yvie landed in the top two and after turning an epic show, Viv won the lip sync and then promptly blocked Jinkx for the second time.
Backstage Yvie was feeling her oats after going from 0 to 2 stars in the span of an episode and now being a front runner, while Raja kindly pointed out that she is now also first in line to get blocked. Jinkx then came in here lookin’ like that – thanks Monet – and admitted she is feeling a little bit pressed by being blocked for the second time, particularly since she and The Viv were on the same team. The Vivienne rightly explained that she was just as pissed to miss out on her second star – which Jinkx pointed out happened to her and Trinity already – though Jinkx is truly the frontrunner and as such, she is content with her choice. And well, Jinkx admitted she is glad to be leading the way through the competition with another first to her name.
Like an icon.
Things were far more chill the next day, while Monet was feeling disappointed to be away from her home AND gorgeous cat Colleen. She and Shea were also missing being in the top, but well, maybe this week will be their time? Conveniently Ru returned to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be designing a signature look inspired by one of Ru and Zaldy’s eight favourite looks. As the winner of last week’s challenge, The Vivienne was first to pick her look going for the Despy’s Ru, Trinity then picked the Season 8 promo, Monet selected The Facekini look, Shea snatched the Sugar Ball look, Jaida then went with the Divas tribute to Diana Ross before Yvie jagged Supermodel of the World – which Raja desperately wanted – while Jinkx got the Down Under promo look. Meaning poor Raja was stuck with the Born Naked promo look. Which she promised to devour all the same.
Everyone split up to start designing their looks with Trinity confident in her peplum gown choices, while Raja just marvelled at how quickly she can pull together concepts and then execute them. And as such, she tried to make her second guess herself because, sabotage. Like a damn icon. Jaida meanwhile was feeling golden and looking forward to jagging her third star and overtaking Jinkx and Yvie as the sole frontrunner. As Raja was ripping her fabric, she was delighting Shea with the ASMR of it all. And you know, the fire in her butt. Yvie was feeling a little lost, while Jaida spun in circles and got dizzy – for real. Jinkx joked about The Vivienne making a bad choice by blocking her rather than one of the sewers, though was hopeful to improve on her last outfit and finally make something that she would like to wear. And well, she may not get a star but she would love the chance to revenge block The Vivienne. Monet too was unhappy about yet another design challenge, which, relatable.
Ru dropped by to kiki with the girls, talking through their looks with Yvie joking about being born the year Supermodel of the World was released, so was glad she got to jag it. And well, her plan to make massive pants on the way to literally flipping the outfit to become Supermodel of the Underworld is inspired. Just like her sister Willow. Monet admitted she picked her inspo because it was the episode she first lip synced in the competition. Oh and she was going to go the club kid route, complete with hats. And well, this could be interesting. Shea was going to be making a print on the fabric from scratch – wild – while Raja was disappointed to not get her first choice, though she was happy with the one she got and was ready to go full roped, white Mad Max.
As Ru left, Yvie continued to work on her pants and started to worry about her lack of speed when it comes to sewing. Monet meanwhile was worried about how big her head was, along with her fundamental lack of atelier skills. On the flipside, Jinkx was looking forward to breaking her curse and making something nice. Until she tried to put it on and realised she glued the fabric to the bodysuit at its smallest size and had to start over. But well, Jinkx’s high on glue hysteria was a delight and I could watch this on a loop, TBH. Yvie meanwhile absolutely killed her pants, as Shea looked around and realised that she is far and away the furthest behind the pack. And needed to hurry.
Runway Day arrived with Jinkx feeling good about her designed look, while Trinity was living for Jaida’s design. As The Viv beat her mug, Trinity slid on over to help Shea finish her outfit before jumping over and finishing Monet’s and hot damn, is she the Miss Congeniality? Raja’s look meanwhile was a white delight and she was absolutely living for it and did not give a shit what anyone else thought about it. Which is good, because the Twinners were not vibing with it. Talk then turned to who they think they should block, with Trinity leaning towards Yvie despite Monet more than willing to block Jinkx again. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile knew they had massive targets on their back for a blocking, with Jaida hoping to top two her way to safety. Though given Trinity literally works down to the wire making more and more perfection, she is clearly going to have a fight on her hands.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by the iconic Betsey Johnson on the judging panel as the dolls debuted their legendary Legendary Legends Looks with Yvie looking straight up perfect in her orange pants complete with pink bodice and ALL the ruffles. The Viv served drama in her sexy golden gown, Shea was vintage glamour for a Sunday drive in her pink cheetah look. Trinity served a full on dramatic gown and well, it was stunning and the fact she made that in a day is just wild. Raja was punk perfection, while Jinkx actually delivered a full on gorgeous saloon girl look before Jaida stole the damn show in a golden showgirl, disco look. And well, Monet served a Pollack masked bodysuit. And it was GOOD.
The judges lived for how Yvie managed to distil Ru through her aesthetic and for making such polished pants. And obviously Betsey loved her chaotic vibe. The Vivienne received universal praise for her mug and for adding so many beautiful details to the look. Betsey loved Shea turning Ru’s look rocker and for bringing all the fun to the runway. Before Shea thanked Trinity for helping her finish the outfit. Speaking of Trinity, the judges loved literally every thing she served on the runway this week. And for the fact she made it in the workroom. In a day. Raja’s look was praised for giving something completely different and still looking perfect. Jinkx was rightly praised for serving such a polished look before Jaida far and away stole the judges hearts. From the cut, to the vibe and all the polish, she is far and away their number one this week. And it’s what she deserves. And Monet was also beloved, for being a clash of dumb and beautiful and damn am I proud of her and Jinkx this week!
Backstage everyone was feeling confident in their performance before Raja admitted to shoplifting from Betsey Johnson’s store when she was a kid. Everyone praised Shea’s mug and lived for The Vivienne, before Trinity admitted she wasn’t sure about Raja’s look though admitted the end product took her breath away. Jaida meanwhile praised Trinity for helping all of the girls get their looks over the line, which allowed Trinity to open up about feeling how close they all are and that she just wants everyone to shine. And well, everyone has been helpful throughout the competition. Talk turned to who will be joining Jaida in the top, with everyone thinking it is Trinity’s to lose before Raja wisely asked everyone to talk about their track records. Painting a target on Jaida and Yvie’s back for having multiple stars and no blocks, keeping the heat off herself like a wise doll. Trinity asked what everyone’s strategy is with blocking, with everyone honestly super confused about which way to go.
Jaida turned the conversation to who is everyone’s biggest competition, identifying Trinity, The Viv and Jinkx as the frontrunners, with Trinity countering Jaida and Yvie are now frontrunners and having that late breaking momentum is always a good thing. She then furthered things by pointing out Shea, Monet and Raja have probably been the most consistent competitors however, and honestly could have been the top any week. Talk turned to their most iconic looks in her first season with Trinity living for her Club Kid look AND the fact she couldn’t even blink because she glued her eyes. Jaida loved her Stars and Stripes and Jinkx’s fave was her roast look.
Oh and then Betsey Johnson arrived and admitted she hurt her ankle doing a split on the mainstage and officially joined the Eureka, Victoria, Kornbread club! Proving it is a club for icons only.
Ultimately it was Trinity that joined Jaida in the top and as soon as Jessie J’s I Want Love kicked off, they were both hungry for the outright win. Trinity was sexy and sultry, Jaida was bringing the drama and using every inch of the stage. Trinity started doing flips and splits, but when she literally bit Jaida’s arse, it was clear it was her win. And given she is being the congenial icon of the season, she stuck to her word and blocked the only other eligible 2-star holder, Yvie. Since giving Jinkx her third would be cruel.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally grab a second star and pocket some cash, while Jinkx quickly pointed out that Jaida is the first person to make it to three stars. Which obviously made her remind Trinity and Jinkx that they too should have three too, if blocks weren’t a thing. Speaking of the blockages, Yvie arrived to find out why she got blocked with Trinity explaining that she just couldn’t block Jinkx again and as such, went with the only eligible person with two stars. YOU SEE, I was right. Talk turned to track records, with Monet, Viv and Shea terrified about how they will be able to get into the finals given there are only four more chances to win. While Monet and Shea were just feeling super awks given they started so strong and then kinda faded into the back. Which isn’t true, but I know what they mean.
The next day Raja continued to live her best life while Jinkx was just delightfully on her own planet. Before Monet could get dressed into black or white like the rest of the dolls, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the new hit movie Santa’s School for Girls. A mashup of Christmas movies, horror and Mean Girls. And since Trinity won, she would be assigning the roles. After Ru left, the dolls split up to read through the script with Trinity trying to play things fairly by giving everyone one of their options. Well, except for when Monet realised Jinkx would kill the role and stole it out from under her to effectively block her from her next star. Because Jinkx’s audition they were forced to do was WAY better than Monet.
Everyone split up to talk through their plans for the characters with Viv keen to go full Joan Crawford, while Raja was looking to tap into her kooky goth vibes and be disinterested, packed full of angst and ugh, I can’t wait to see it. Jaida and Yvie meanwhile were worried about going up against such talented actors, though Jaida did admit she could easily see a path to the finals for herself so doesn’t really care. Trinity braved up to talk to Jinkx and apologise for not giving her the role she wants, but given Jinkx is a damn star, she was ready to kill her dud anyway. And steal all of the spotlights.
The dolls joined Ru and Janicxa Bravo – writer and director of Zola – on set as Ru forced The Vivienne to break because she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Which is always a good sign. Yvie, Jinkx and Trinity bounced off each other well, Monet was charming as hell, Jaida committed to every moment while Raja absolutely devoured the scenery as she relished in the bad girl persona.
Runway Day arrived with everyone splitting up to act a fool before Shea suggested The Viv should use some new dance moves in the lip sync. Because she slayed and was totally in the top. Raja too was feeling her oats – and maybe pissing on herself – before Trinity reminded everyone that only two people have never been blocked, which obviously made Jaida point out that since she is probs in the top four anyway, why would they continue to block her since nothing will stop her. Which obviously led to everyone arguing all of the arguments to avoid being blocked. Oh and then Shea and Trinity reenacted victims in horror movies, which added nothing but was super fun.
Janicxa stuck around to join Ru, Michelle and Ross on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Knitty Knitty Bang Bang runway. The Vivienne looked stunning in a plated wool gown which was just so stunning. Shea was bright, covered in rings and a coat and ugh, it was perfect. Yvie gave fiery hippie alien priestess, Jinkx was gorgeous with a golden old Marlene Dietrich inspired gown while Trinity was pretty in purple. Monet was so damn fun in a striped knitted street outfit while Jaida was so damn cute serving full Big Comfy Couch realness. Oh and then Raja stole the show giving golden warrior robot in a knitted gown. When it came to the challenge, having a director that cared in the form of Janicxa made all the difference, as it was high camp, high energy and killer. Though yeah, it was definitely The Viv, Raja and Trinity that stole the show. And Monet when she went full Brenda-in-Scary-Movie.
And the Pit Crew police officers obviously, who were a total swoon.
The judges loved everything the murderous Vivienne served in the scene, giving gravitas and madness in equal measure. And then she demolished the runway to boot. They loved Shea’s African tribal inspired runway and her perfection as the straight queen in the scene. Yvie’s wickedness delighted the judges, as did how great she looked on the runway. Jinkx received universal praise for bringing so much to the smallest role and for looking beautiful and selling the shit out of her runway. They lived for Trinity leaning into stupid in the challenge and being unexpected on the runway. Monet was praised for committing to each and everything she did in the challenge and the runway, giving light and shade of what she can offer. Jaida’s commitment was beloved, as was how perfect she looked on the runway before Raja was absolutely lavished in praise for every minute of every moment she delivered this week.
Backstage the dolls were boiling it up in their knitwear, talking about how uncomfortable doing drag can be. Everyone lived for how great Shea looked bald, while Yvie was grateful that The Viv taught her about this thing called blending. Talk turned to how great Janicxa was in directing the scene, and how much fun they had (and how good things turned out). Trinity pointed out that The Vivienne is definitely in the top after that performance, though was unsure who would be joining her given Monet, Raja and Shea were all so damn good. With Raja admitting that she would love to finally jag another win. They also all praised Jinkx for what she brought to the role she was given, since she really didn’t want it.
Oh and then they spoke about the perks of big and little butts. And the majesty of eating cakes. Which is always important.
Ultimately Raja and The Vivienne landed in the top two, facing off to Super Freak by Rick James. And while The Vivienne was fierce and gave us everything, this was far and away Raja’s show as she gave stupid fun, followed by some ridiculously camp air saxophone that even if Viv didn’t trip, she was jagging that $10k. After taking it victory, Raja then camped it up on the runway, living for every moment as she was drunk with power before she ultimately blocked Jaida. Complete the kiss of death. Which, I would gladly take from Raja, TBH.
As everyone was filling out to return to the work room, I pulled Monet aside and gave her a massive hug and told her to be patient, because she will finally jag another win soon. Because as the girls told her last week, she has been hanging around the top of the pack every week and her one star dinner truly doesn’t reflect how well she has done. With that she perked up and was glad to have her sister around for a brief kiki before smashing a Three Cheese Calzonét X Change and returning to the Werk Room with a fire in her belly. (Pizza curse be damned! Unless calzones don’t count?).
While pizza is all well and good, when given the option to turn one into a calzone, one should always take it. I mean, the outside gets super crispy while the inside delicately steams until it is molten hot and delicious. Particularly with the perfect three cheese blend and dough filled with spicy sausgae, like this.
Three Cheese Calzonét X Change Serves: 2 dear friends with healthy booties.
Ingredients 2 cups mozzarella cheese, grated ½ cup ricotta cheese ⅓ cup parmesan cheese, grated a small handful fresh basil, roughly chopped 2 shallots, sliced 2 balls of dough as per the Pizsa Zsa Gabor recipe flour, for dustin’ 100g salami, sliced Amber Marinara Sauce, for dippin’
Method Preheat the oven to 200C.
Combine the mozzarella, ricotta, parmesan, basil and shallots in a bowl. Roll out the balls of dough on a lightly floured surface to form large discs and divide the cheese mixture between them, spreading them on one side of the circle, leaving a couple of centimetres around the edge. Top with salami and mushrooms, spinach and/or olives if you should desire before folding over and pressing the calzones shut, being careful to not leave much air in. Roll the edges to seal and transfer to a lined baking sheet.
Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until browned on the outside. Leave to rest for a couple of minutes before devouring, happily, with some Amber Marinara Sauce for dipping.
Previously on All Winners just after winning her first star in the ball alongside Trinity, Jaida pointed out that since she blocked Jinkx, now Monet was the only challenge winner who hadn’t been blocked. Which was quickly pointed out to be wrong, since she now also falls into that category. In any event, it didn’t matter to either of them as both Jinkx and The Vivienne absolutely dominated as they improved their way through Judge Judy-spoof, Fairytale Justice. Despite Raja once again delivering another strong performance and Yvie being a sexy Big Bad Wolf. After Jinkx and The Vivienne landed in the top two, The Viv demolished the lip sync and while it is unclear how much influence Jaida had, she blocked Monet.
Who was NOT happy about it.
Backstage The Viv was well and truly feeling her oats, thrilled to finally have her star turn, with all of her sisters thrilled for her to get a star. Yvie joked about poor Jinkx not landing her second star, with Jaida adorably singing an apology before Raja rightly called out Ru for not giving her a damn star yet. This was interrupted by the arrival of Monet who was completely irate about the fact that she was blocked though desperately trying to hide it. She then played into Shea’s lie that the platinum plunger comes with a little extra power and I live for the fact everyone is just playing along and adding to the paranoia. The Viv then explained that she only blocked her because she was next in line and well, the other person she wanted to block wasn’t eligible. Which put Jinkx on notice.
Oh and then Yvie got her wang out. Again.
The next day Jaida was jacked up on coffee, though not like Ru on the enema, before Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would write an uplifting commencement address for queer graduates around the world. Oh and Carson and Nikki Glaser would be on hand to help them work through their set AND since Monet was blocked, she would be able to set the order. Adding to the fake-secret that the plunger comes with power. Oh and Ru was in a giving mood, so the winners of this week’s challenge would also receive TWO stars. One to keep and one to give to one of their sisters.
With that, the dolls were thrilled at the prospect of getting two stars as they split up to plan their sets. Yvie was going to lean into her fun side and hoped the judges would laugh along with her, while Jinkx and Raja were brainstorming their ideas. The latter of which was planning to play a mountain top cult leader and while Jinkx was loving the idea, she was worried about whether Raja would be able to turn it out. Trinity meanwhile was sewing away in the corner while Shea was struggling to focus given Jaida was living her best life with a xylophone and generally being loud. As the rest of the dolls were dishing out shade, Monet decided that she was going to work her blockage into a free star, first trying to be kind and asking everyone where they would like to go in the set. And then asking them to consider giving her a star if she followed through. Which she mostly did, giving herself the opening slot, followed by Shea, Trinity, Raja, Jaida, Yvie and Jinkx, while The Vivienne would close the show.
Monet was first to workshop with Nikki and Carson with them living for all her jokes and sass, though encouraging her to add a little bit of heart as well. Shea meanwhile was leaning into the fact she is beautiful, cool and perfect, with a fuck you to society for making her question it. The Viv meanwhile was going to shade her struggles with sobriety, Trinity was just going to have a tonne of fun mocking her struggles with learning growing up while Jinkx obviously delighted them with her set about getting run over in Amsterdam. Or getting a condom stuck inside herself. Then Jaida was just an absolute delight being completely silly and wild. Nikki and Carson meanwhile advised Yvie to add a few more jokes because her concept could be great. But only if she gets out of her head. And then Raja confused the shit out of them with them also advising her to add more funny, despite Raja feeling like it was perfect. Like a fucking icon.
Is this going to be a Katya’s Krisis Kontrol moment? I damn hope so.
Runway Day arrived with Jinkx succumbing to Jaida’s tajin shots while The Viv and Raja were fanging for some wine. As they started to beat their mugs Jinkx admitted that she just desperately wanted to beat The Vivienne, given they truly are each other’s biggest competition and she spends most of her time watching her, wishing she thought of whatever she was doing first. Oh and then everyone shaded Jaida for not being blocked yet.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the judges panel by Nikki Glaser as Monet opened the Draguation Ceremony looking stunning in pink and gold. And while she started slowly, losing her comb at the time she praised her Season 10 runways gave her the energy she needed that by the time she channelled James Earl Jones, I was sold. Shea was as stunning as always and slayed her performance, reading her sisters and praising herself for being popular. Trinity was absolutely hilarious as she joked about being unable to read her palm cards before she quickly leaned into the heart before pivoting back into silly fun comedy. And again, she is a star. Raja meanwhile stole the show from start to finish; weird, wacky and oh so fun. And yeah, this is a Katya moment and I am so glad she was smart enough to trust in herself.
Jaida kicked off the second half with a bang, joking about being from Trump University and just being stupid and packed full of charm. Yvie stumbled onto stage and dropped all her cards in a hilarious bit and while her set wasn’t packed with laughs, it was full to the brim with heart. Sadly for her, she was then followed by Jinkx who once again gave a masterclass, having killer framing devices, hilarious jokes and was so smart with all the genuine emotional beats she added. And while The Viv also gave an absolute killer performance, complete with a face plant finish, coming after Jinkx was always a hard act to follow.
On the Veiled It runway, Monet was stunning in an hourglass baby blue bird in a cage number. Shea was a mash of bright pleated fabric and looked stunning and Trinity was perfect in a red widow slash wedding gown. Raja meanwhile stole the show as a literal covergirl while Jaida was the sexiest black widow known to man before Yvie was bright, beaded perfection. Jinkx looked gorgeous dripping in lavender and butterflies, while The Vivienne gave S&M shimmering stunner, complete with ball gag.
The judges loved everything Monet did this week, particularly for serving glamour on the runway. Shea was praised for her zen vibe and giving complete perfection on the runway. Trinity was praised for showing her heart and having fun, and more importantly, for looking glorious doing it. Raja was praised for landing everything weird and wonderful and for serving something different and intellectual on the runway. Jaida was praised for being fun and charming and for the sexiness she brought to the runway while the judges loved Yvie’s look and her pratfalls. Jinkx once again received universal praise for each and every thing she did this week, with Ru even jumping on the joke and suggesting she was the one that ran her over. While they lived for The Viv’s commitment in the challenge and the sex she brought to the runway. Before the dolls went to Untuck, Nancy Pelosi dropped by to thank the queens for all that they do and ugh, I live for Queen Nancy. With Raja thanking her for her shady clap which has become a masterclass in shade.
Backstage Yvie once again received praise from her sisters for her runway and all the details she added to it. Trinity meanwhile was busy making narratives for everyone’s looks, before Shea turned her attention to Raja and how much she killed the challenge. And completely leant into her own brand of humour and ugh, I love to see everyone living for her. The Vivienne praised everyone for sticking to their brand and shaded Monet for giving her the perfect spot to shine. We then got a flashback to when the girls were getting ready, talking about who would deliver their dream commencement speech. Raja then spoke about graduating in ‘92 and hot damn, again, I want to age like Raja as she is perfect. She opened up about how difficult it was in High School at the time while The Vivienne opened up that yes, they have High School in England and honestly, she lived her best life as a queer kid in private school. And then Jinkx gave all the heart talking about how privileged she felt growing up in a queer friendly environment like America. Comparatively. While Shea was inspired by TV to come out and literally exploded her way onto the social scene.
Oh and then Monet brought up Sum 41 as the dolls read her pussycat wig before Nikki dropped by to kiki with girls. And stop them from stealing the dress off her body.
Ultimately Jinkx and Raja took out victory and were told that they will be gifting their extra stars at the beginning of next week’s episode. But first, the lip sync for that little tip and well, it was stunning. In a fun, they are so cool kinda way. As soon as Lizzo’s Better in Color kicked off the girls were straight up living their best lives. Jinkx was serving stupid white lady dancing while Raja was just oh so cool. Ultimately though, it was Jinkx that took out another win and promptly blocked The Vivienne, because obviously.
Backstage Raja was thrilled to finally have a win for what should have been her fourth one and ugh, I love to see it for the icon. Trinity led the dolls in congratulating them on their win and while Jinkx was clearly the frontrunner, she did point out that someone else will have two stars this week when she gives one away. The Vivienne arrived and admitted that she was completely expecting to be blocked by Jinkx and while she explained she did it because Viv is a competitor, Viv was sure Jinkx was just doing it for good old fashioned revenge. Talk turned to who Jinkx and Raja would be giving their stars to, with Yvie trying to play on their emotions, while Trinity reminded them that she was very helpful when it came to design challenges and the dolls best remember it. And Jaida wanted people to give her a star for her perfect nipples. Which is an argument I can get behind.
The next day the dolls returned to the Werk Room where Trinity was ready to be given a star, while Raja was just thrilled to be in the star club. And once Ru arrived, everyone was in said club as Raja gave hers to sweet Yvie. While Jinkx gave hers to Jaida, proving that nipples can get you everything. With that out of the way, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be serving ‘00s realness for this season’s girl groups challenge, in throwback appearances on TRL. Ideally without Carson Daly. One group would be performing the love song 2getha 4eva and the other would get Titanic, the ultimate break-up anthem. As usual they would be writing their own verses, recording the tune and then performing live on the mainstage. Oh and Ru said they could pick teams however they want, so they just drew a line in the middle of the room and ran with it.
As they sat down to listen to the tunes Yvie was feeling confident in getting a shining moment, while Trinity was triggered by the fact Justin Timberlake would never love her. As everyone tried to select songs, The Vivienne pointed out that she wasn’t thrilled about people selecting their team and then leaving the dregs together. And while Jinkx suggested they all just pick the song they like best and fight it out if that doesn’t leave equal teams, The Viv ending up relenting and sticking with the original groups. And girl, it is tense. And you know she is going to fight.
The dolls split up to work on their songs, with team Monet, Shea, Trinity and Raja forming M.S.T.R. and planned to position their performance about losing the E of their group M.S.T.R.E. The other girls meanwhile leant into their status as the leftovers, calling themselves The Other Girls and planned to frame their band as all the girls that were kicked out of girl groups and were going to be camp and fucking stupid and ugh, I love it.
M.S.T.R. were up first recording their song Titanic, with Raja admitting she hopes nobody wants her to explain Y2K since she partied through the era while the rest of the girls were at school. Monet was planning to channel Britney, Trinity was working through her passion for JT while Raja wanted to sound young. Shea meanwhile was rapping and living her best life and I love it. When The Other Girls took the mic they were totally bonkers and ugh, I love it. Like Jaida’s rap involved fart sounds and Yvie was doing dial-up modem sounds and it was just delightful.
The teams came together for a quick dance battle as they returned to choreograph their performances with The Other Girls continuing to be fun and bonkers. And while they wanted to intimidate their rivals, they were mainly confused about what was going on. M.S.T.R. meanwhile had varying degrees of skills, with Monet and Shea living their best lives, while Trinity and Raja both would have preferred if they showed off sexy, stripping.
Runway Day arrived with both groups ready to slay, with The Other Girls continuing to be wild and ready to be silly, while Raja led her team in some yoga. Everyone split up to get ready with Shea and Trinity talking about being proud of how far they’ve all come before Shea opened up about worrying that she was blending into the back of the group. As everyone beat their mugs, Trinity joked about being annoyed by Jinkx for giving a star to Jaida over her, with Jinkx admitting she was debating between the two of them, not saying she was avoiding Trinity as she is more likely to score more stars. Monet reminded Viv that she was blocked before Jinkx awkwardly pointed out that she would have made a different decision if she knew they’d be in a group together. Oh and Raja encouraged her sisters to look like Michelle Visage in her Season 3 era on stage.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Tove Lo on the judges panel as Ross dressed as Carson Gayly as M.S.T.R. debuted their song Titanic and well, it was a bop. Monet was perfect, Trinity was manic and fun, Shea was sexy perfection and Raja was perfect, like Paris in the Stars are Blind era. In the best way possible. Then The Other Girls arrived and it was completely ridiculous in all the right ways, Viv was self-deprecating, Jaida was just stupid, Jinkx was fun holding on to her youth and Yvie was all fire from start to finish. As a malfunctioning robot.
Then, on the runway we’ve all been waiting for, Monet kicked off The Night of 1000 Dolly Parton’s runway serving glamour in the coat of many colours gown. Trinity was perfect in a shimmering yellow number, Shea served biker Dolly in the best way possible, Raja was iconic in silver as she played her nails down the runway, The Viv was eerily accurate in a stunning blue number while Jaida was the personification of Dolly and I love it. Jinkx meanwhile gave ‘80s fun and ugh, I loved it too. While Yvie was manic and having the absolute best time.
The judges lived for everything Monet served this week, particularly for how she served something unique on the runway. Trinity was praised for such a likeness on the runway and being silly in the performance, Shea was praised for being smart, fun and full of glamour. And for also doing something special on the runway. They loved Raja for being the worst dancer in the group and living the best life, while she was beloved for having far and away the best runway. The Vivienne received glowing praise for being hilariously stereotypical and for literally inhabiting Dolly on the runway. Jaida was praised for being so silly and fun, in the performance and on the runway. The judges loved Jinkx’s old lady and for her simplistic Dolly runway, while Yvie’s robot was iconic and everyone loved everything she did this week.
Backstage the dolls were living their best lives as Raja opened up about how much Dolly means to her, with Monet admitting she didn’t even know about Dollywood. That being said, she loves her as the dolls spoke about how iconic she is. As she deserves. Jaida continued the love, talking about how great her team worked with everyone agreeing they knocked it out of the park. And had so much fun doing it. Talk turned to who they think will be in the top with everyone agreeing that The Viv will be in the top alongside either Monet or Yvie. Though not that it means anything to Viv since she is blocked. Raja then led the girls in a communal scream – as Monet pretended to participate – before Tove Lo joined them and looked to be having the time of her life as she gushed over all of them. As everyone got ready to return to the mainstage, Trinity took some time to heap Monet with praise and remind her how proud she is to be her twinner and ugh, it truly was beautiful. As was Jinkx awkwardly strumming the ukulele at the end.
Ultimately it was The Vivienne and Yvie that found themselves in the top two, lip syncing to my absolute favourite Dolly Parton number, Why’d You Come in Here Looking Like That. And well, it was just as iconic as I want for that song. Yvie was camp, silly and absolutely killed it, but shit, The Vivienne was absolutely amazing as she gave every single Dolly-ism and well, was perfect. Stunning. I love her so much. Someone that may not love her however was the Jinkx as after she took out the win, she immediately returned serve and blocked her teammate.
Since everyone has taken out a win now, I quickly ran the numbers and was shocked to find that Shea was next for a date. As per the last alphabetically, ranked by wins rule which is SUPER easy to follow. After I quickly yanked her aside while they reset the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her how much of a star she is. And while she didn’t take out the win this week, she was just like Beyonce. And since she knows we’re dear friends, that meant a lot to her. As such, I gave her a quick pep talk for the second half of the competition and fed her soul with a nice, warming Shea Vindouleé.
There is nothing better than a vindaloo! Smooth and earthy, yet packing a wicked heat to it, it can wake you up, warm your heart and clear out your nostrils – which is good with flurona rolling around – all while tasting delicious.
Shea Vindouleé Serves: 4.
Ingredients 8 dried kashmiri chilies, stemmed, seeded and soaked in boiling water for five minutes, liquid reserved 2 onions, sliced 6 garlic cloves 1 tbsp minced ginger 1 tsp paprika 2 tsp cumin ½ tsp pepper 2 tsp malt vinegar 3 tbsp vegetable oil 1 tbsp chilli flakes ½ tsp ground coriander seeds 1 tsp kashmiri chilli powder 1 tsp dried fenugreek leaves ½ tsp kosher salt 2 cups beef stock 800g tinned tomatoes 1 tbsp tomato paste 1 tsp tamarind paste 1 tsp muscovado sugar 500g diced lamb rice, to serve
Method Pop the hydrated chillies, half the onion, garlic, ginger, paprika, half the cumin, pepper and malt vinegar in a blender with half the vegetable oil and a couple of tablespoons of the chilli water. Blitz until a smooth paste forms, scraping down the sides and re-blitzing or adding more water may be required.
Place the remaining oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat and cook off the curry paste with the remaining onion, chilli flakes, coriander seeds, fenugreek and salt. Cook for about ten minutes, or until nice and fragrant. Stir in the stock, tinned tomatoes, tomato paste, tamarind paste and muscovado sugar and cook for a further five minutes. Fold in the lamb, bring to the boil and reduce to a simmer and cook for half an hour or until the meat is nice, tender and reduced. And you know, cooked through.
Serve with freshly cooked rice and devour, gloriously.
Previously on All Winners eight iconic victors of seasons past returned to the mainstage to compete for the chance to be crowned the one, true, Queen of all Queens. After kicking off the season with a killer rumix where Shea and Monet slayed in front of Cameron Diaz, the dolls backed it up with Snatch Game. And not just any Snatch Game, a double dose of Snatch, where each queen was tasked with delivering not one, but two performances. While Jinkx obviously delivered a masterclass duo of performances alongside Trinity, Raja was the surprise package and stole my heart with her hilarious turns. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top making Shea’s choice to block Trinity a smart one. Well, until Jinkx won the lip sync and returned the favour, blocking Shea the very next week.
Backstage Jinkx was feeling her oats post-win and ugh, I love to see it. She then explained that she blocked Shea this week because she already has a star and given Shea is that good, it is unlikely she will stumble again. And as such, they all need to do what they can. And well, everyone agreed they would have made the same decision, while Yvie would have lingered on Monet to make her shit herself. Which, lol. Shea arrived and started to play mind games with the dolls, pretending the platinum plunger comes with a special power and given Trinity is hilarious, she jumped onboard and well, again, this is the greatest season of all time.
Oh but don’t worry, Inspector Jaida is on the case and she will get all the answers for us. Whatever that means.
The next day Monet welcomed the trio of starred girls, while Trinity was a little disappointed that she should, technically, have a damn star by now. Soooo, Jaida and Trinity are the top in the ball, I’m guessing? Before I could make any more predictions, Ru arrived to play a little game of hung man with the dolls and the Pit Crew. And well, like The Viv, I’m dripping. Or in Ginger Minj speak, my basement is flooded. Jinkx took out the only puzzle with the answer of Vanna White Party. Which led into this week’s Maxi Challenge, the BALL. First category the dolls would be walking the runway in game show hostess glam for Vanna White Realness. The second category would feature Wheel of Fortune’s famous Before and After, like Diana RossMatthews. Or in my mind RuPaul Simon, because seeing that duo would be hilarious.
Closing out the ball the dolls would be rocking Realness of Fortune Eleganza. Aka a garment made from scratch with the dolls spinning a wheel to pick their inspiration city. Jinkx got the lavender fields of Provence, Shea won White Cliffs of Dover, Monet jagged the Emerald Isle, Jaida got the Black Sand Beach, Raja got Gold of the Golden Pagoda, Yvie won $500 and then $1000 before getting bankrupted before The Viv finally won money on the show, $1000 dollars, then $500 and then finally got a city with the Blue Hole of Belize before Trinity got bankrupted. This left Yvie to get the Pink City of Jaipur and Trinity getting the straggler of the Red Square of Russia.
With everyone’s colours sorted, the dolls split up to collect their supplies before The Vivienne admitted she would be playing it safe with the design. Given she doesn’t really wear blue, ever. Trinity meanwhile was slowly making a ruffle and driving everyone mad, while Monet admitted she hasn’t made a dress since the infamous sponge look. Raja meanwhile was feeling a little nervous given this is one of her strengths and she doesn’t have a fat arse blunt or two bottles of wine, which makes up her usual process. Jinkx was in a battle with the sewing machine and honestly was not feeling fortunate. That being said, she was glad to have lucked out by blocking one of the sewers and had settled for the critique of, it’s a dress. Since that would be a step up for her in design challenges. Shea meanwhile was worried how to bring a non-bridal white look, given she already served it in All Stars 5.
Ru dropped by to check in on her daughters with Jinkx outlining her strategy and admitting she is still terrible at sewing. But, she hoped to braid her way into a gown. Monet was feeling her 70s oats and ready to Survivor the competition to the crown. Jaida was ready to pull off a very technical dress, given she made her entire Season 12 wardrobe. Yvie meanwhile was trying to punk up pink, like Pink or the girl from my school that looks like Pink. Allegedly.
After Ru departed, Jaida started to worry she may have been too ambitious with her design, though doubled down on the fact she was here to cement her legacy, not rest on it. And yes, I love Jaida’s entire vibe. Oh and then everyone thirsted over Monet’s booty which, I get it as a fellow booty queen. Shea meanwhile decided to lean into bridal despite having served it once before, while Trinity was continuing to work out a full on gown and ugh, she is so damn talented. Yvie meanwhile made a seam and Raja a vagina. While Jinkx was getting into the Season 5 mindset, stressed about the mess she was in until Trinity dropped by, gave her a pep talk and some ideas and well, I love to see it.
Runway Day arrived with Jinkx perking up after a spank from Trinity before the dolls started beating their mugs. While The Viv was not impressed by any of the doll’s accent work, Trinity and Monet were doubling down on their alliance before Jinkx dropped by to shade their not-so-secret alliance. And then was promptly offered a spot in the alliance and while she didn’t sign up to an official deal, she reminded the girls that she appreciates what both of them have done for her throughout the competition. Given they didn’t get an agreement, Trinity approached Shea to see if she wanted in on the game and well, Shea was not into it either. So when Jaida approached, she outed Trinity’s approach to building an alliance, with Jaida just as disinterested in joining. But also a little confused and just wanting to do her best.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Kirby Howell-Baptiste on the panel as the dolls kicked off the Realness of Fortune Ball with their Vanna White Realness looks with Vanna White watching from the wall, stunning in a shimmering black gown and ugh, I love her. Perfection. Iconic. Again, best season ever. Jinkx was stunning, also in black, gagged to see Vanna on the runway. Shea and Monet were perfect in white, Jaida was adorable in a stunning silver gown, complete with lighting up the letters as she walked along. Raja almost died when she saw Vanna White in her perfect purple gown. Yvie was full Yvie, noticing Vanna at the very last minute while The Viv gave all peach in a velvet gown – completely unaware who Vanna was – and Trinity was a sparkling beauty, giving full pageant perfection.
On the Before and After runway, Jinkx was perfection as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Fonda, Shea was a sexy Gold Tooth Fairy, Monet gave Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth realness, serving neon paint in the palace. Jaida’s Bag Lady in Red was stun. Ning and ugh, I love her. Raja’s Olivia Newton-John Waters was so damn gorgeous and camp. Yvie was hilarious as Cardi Bea Arthur and ugh, it was hot and oh so golden. The Vivienne meanwhile was amazing as Princess Diana Ross before Trinity stole the show as RuPaul Charles II, which was a dandy delight.
Closing the show with their made looks, Jinkx managed to sew her gown and well, it was a gown. Which is what she wanted. Shea was a sexy New Orleans bride, Monet was having fun as a disco diva, Jaida was insanely talented, serving architectural perfection, Myanmar Golden Pagoda Raja was fucking stunning, Yvie was dramatic in blushing pink while The Vivienne was gorgeous in baby blue before Trinity too gave insane perfection in what she whipped up in a day.
The judges lived for Jinkx’s first two looks for being right in the pocket, while they were glad she was able to pull together the outfit. Which led to her praising Trinity for having her back. Shea received universal praise for the looks, whether the Vanna White look gave Vanna White or not. Monet was praised for giving fun and wit, while Jaida rightly received all the praise for everything she did, but more importantly for making the look she did in the space of a day. Raja too received universal praise for each look, despite the fact they wanted more John Waters in the middle look. Which, lies. Yvie was praised for thinking outside the box for each category while The Viv was beloved, despite not giving much Vanna like Shea. And then Trinity received top marks, bought the vowels and shut it down with each category.
As the dolls untucked Jaida was confident in her performance, though nervous given a lot of her sisters also served killer looks. The Viv was already keen for another ball while Jinkx was just thrilled to see Vanna live, in the flesh. While Yvie caught her ring in her outfit, the dolls praised Shea for giving full wedding glam while they were busy thirsting over Monet’s wig colour. Viv added some shade asking whose outfit they would want to wear, with pretty much everyone wanting to try on Raja’s though Jinkx feeling The Viv was more her vibe. They then gushed over Viv’s make-up before they were gagged to learn Jaida even made her damn boot covers. Which is ridiculous and talented. Oh and then everyone gagged Yvie given they were so proud of her for making her Cardi Bea Arthur look and well, it was too much.
Ultimately it was Trinity and Jaida who landed in the top with Trinity finally jagging a star, meaning she and Jaida are now part of a five person club. As soon as Beyonce’s Green Light kicked off though, it was very obvious that this was Jaida’s for the taking. While Trinity gave all the sex and comedy in the world, Jaida was on point from start to finish, feeling every lyric, hitting every letter and then playing air sax into a split. And yeah, no surprises that she took out the $10k and then blocked Jinkx. Because obviously.
Backstage Jaida was thrilled to have finally shine, once again asserting her dominance in design challenges. She was feeling vindicated, valedictorian and validation. The dolls congratulated Trinity for taking out her first star from two wins, which was the perfect introduction for Jinkx who joined her sisters and was once again charming and hilarious. And fine about being blocked, unless she wins this week and misses out on being the first queen to win two stars. Which totally means she is winning this week, right? As is Viv who is feeling very hungry for the win and well, let’s see if I’m right. Again, for the record.
In any event, we know that Raja will be robbed which is reassuring, only in its consistency.
The next day Jinkx arrived playing Bing Bang Bong on the ukulele and well, it was just as amazing as you’d expect. Though now we’re all going to have it in our head for days. Jaida meanwhile was being shady, pointing out Monet is the only person with a star that hasn’t been blocked. Well, until Trinity reminded her that she now has a star.
Ru dropped by to explain that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be improv-ing their way through the court show, Fairytale Justice. In two teams, the dolls would play out the cases of fairytale miscarriages of justice. And as winners of last week’s challenge, Jaida and Trinity were team captains, with Jaida going with Jinkx, Monet and Yvie while Trinity opted for Shea, Viv and were left with Raja. Team Jaida was covering the case of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf, while Team Trinity would act out Goldielocks’ break and enter at the bears’ house.
Team Jaida were all living for their roles, with Jinkx comfortable to take on any and all feedback and make her character as bizarre as possible. Because you know she is going to go for the win, despite being blocked. Over with Team Trinity, Raja was typecast as a sexy granny, while The Viv was ready to turn out her first ever improv challenge. And given she was going to turn Goldilocks into the fucken’ Chuckie girl, condragulations Viv! The one thing both teams could agree on is that their rival teams were going to turn it out.
Blow the House Down Boots was the first case to be argued with Jinkx delightfully demented, and ugh, I love it. She was vapid, she was wild and horny, and it was perfection. Yvie was the sexiest wolf on earth, Jaida was so fun and ridiculous and then Monet arrived and shut it down playing the straight guy of the scene and while it won’t give her a win, she was hella fun. Particularly when she started slapping the hell out of everyone and everything. As soon as The Vivienne skipped into the scene, it was clear she was going to land in the top. She barely uttered her first sentence before Shea started breaking with laughter. Though Shea did play a fun straight guy, Raja was a hilarious and thirsty grandmother, yelling at Michelle before Trinity arrived and was as manic and stupid as you’ve come to expect. Though it was far and away The Vivienne’s scene, as she cycled through the accents and was completely bonkers and well, it was the best.
Runway Day arrived with The Viv still running through the accents as the groups split up to talk through their performances with Raja praising The Viv standing out in their scene, despite the fact they all did so well. As everyone started to beat their mugs, Jaida was offering out Tajin shots as they kikied about their performances. Raja meanwhile spoke about not wanting to do an old lady again, while Yvie decided to not play a man again. They then got distracted by Jaida’s make-up as she was blending black and white, and joking about going on stage half baked and screaming at the judges for not giving them enough time. Oh and then Jinkx pointed out that they usually block the person that blocked the week before, so good luck to ya Jaida!
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman as Jaida absolutely slayed the Spikes on the Runway number in a Grace Jones in Mad Max style look. Jinkx gave the most glamorous echidna known to man while Monet was serving punk Valentina teas and well, it was good. Yvie served sexy scorpion, Trinity was a sexy, staked vampire, while The Viv was perfect in a light blue bodysuit with golden spikes. And it was so stunning. As was Raja’s shimmering mediaeval space warrior. Shea meanwhile was crazed in her hobble skirted purple fairy alien.
Jaida meanwhile received universal praise for all that she served this week, until Jinkx received even more praise for all that she did, and for being such a consummate professional and staying true to who she is. Monet was praised for stealing the show with her entrance, while the judges lived for her runway. They lived for Yvie’s killer runway and was praised for her commitment to the role. Trinity’s interpretation of the runway was beloved for being unexpected and they lived for how much fun Trinity is having this season. The judges had no idea what Shea’s runway was, but they lived for it and the way she made the straight guy Karen-bear role likeable. The Vivienne too received glowing, universal praise, besting even Jinkx with how much the judges lived for her and her instantly iconic runway. Obviously everyone was obsessed with Raja’s runway for the perfection it was and how well she delivered the character in the challenge, with Ru in particular living for her clear rebirth this season.
As the dolls untucked they quickly praised Yvie for looking so stunning on the runway and being so sexy in the challenge. Essentially, they were all horny for Yvie. They were also in agreement about The Vivienne in the top two this week, but weren’t sure who would be joining her because Jinkx, Raja and Yvie all got such good critiques. Which fired Raja up more than anything, given she has slayed each and every week, but has not received a star yet. Talk turned to how grateful Ru is for all of them for coming back before they decided to address the politics of blocking, with Jinkx not wanting to block someone on her team, but also not wanting to block someone without a star, narrowing down the list to Jaida and Monet. While everyone agreed that Monet, girl, The Viv is coming for you. Oh but she was in the bathroom the entire conversation, so who really knows. Jeffrey dropped backstage to kiki with the girls, saving The Viv from actually having to give an answer and well, Jeffrey is so hot, so let’s just enjoy that for all that he is.
Obviously Jinkx and The Vivienne took out victory, robbing Raja of yet another win and leaving us with a 6-way tie with one star. Since Jaida blew it for Jinkx. But whatever, because she was ready to kill Because Love is Gonna Save the Day by Whitney Houston. While The Vivienne also slayed the lip sync and gave all the attitude and emotion, I always have a soft spot for Jinkx’s brand of demented. Sadly for her though, The Viv straight up collected a xylophone from Jaida on the side of stage mid-song and played it to the beat and that was just unbeatable. As such, she took out the win and quickly blocked Monet and it was delightful as they bantered back and forth. Though me thinks Monet was well and truly fuming deep down inside.
As the dolls filed past me to return to the Werk Room, I reluctantly pulled Raja aside and told her that it was her turn. Reluctantly because she arguably should have three bloody stars already and the undisputed frontrunner, but alas, she has taken her sister Raven’s spot as the perennial bridesmaid. I pulled her in for a hug and instantly started ranting and raving about the robbery that we’ve witnessed week after week before she calmly told me that a) I was coming off a bit Tyra (Banks, thankfully) and b) she is having the best time and is just thrilled by the journey, winning be damned. While she was proud to be doing so well and to be performing to a new audience – and in HD – I handed her a big fat blunt and told her that next week WOULD be her week, otherwise I will be forced to key Ru and/or Michelle’s car. A promise I toasted to with a big ol’ jug of Boozy Rajafresca.
In an effort to push her back into the Winner’s Circle, I was inspired by one of her fellow member Aquaria but given Raja likes a tipple like me – and is of legal drinking age, I spiked it! Fresh and fruity with a nice warmth coming through with the addition of chilli (and the vodka, obvi), it is the perfect way to drink away a balmy summer evening.
Boozy Rajafresca Serves: 2 dear old friends.
Ingredients 1 batch Aguaria Fresca ½ cup vodka (or more or less, depending on the size of the watermelon and how strong you’d like it) 2 tsp chilli flakes
Method Combine the Aguaria Fresca in a jug with the vodka and chilli, and give a good stir. Then down, happily.
The other option is to follow Aquaria’s recipe and just pop the vodka and chilli in the blender with everything else and then blitz. It doesn’t really matter how you get there, all that matters is the refreshment.
Previously on Survivor 18 new castaways were marooned on the islands of Fiji, ready to repeat all the tricks of last season. But hot damn did they have more success. Despite tragically losing Jackson before the first immunity challenge, the Ika tribe arrived at tribal council ready to play. Sadly for Zach, that was as far as his game went. More importantly, it also broke Maryanne’s heart as he was the literal embodiment of every white man she has ever loved. We then lost Marya, Jenny and Swati in quick succession, before Daniel blew up his game and set up the demise of Vati post-merge.
Speaking of which, the fake merge cost Lydia her game before Chanelle became the queen of the jury. Ika lost Rocksroy and Tori in a double tribal council before Omar took control by getting rid of Hai and Drea. In turn, that painted a target on his back and got him booted by Maryanne’s epic 3-2-2 play. This then led to Lindsay getting booted before the fire making challenge took out Jonathan, leaving Romeo, Mike and Maryanne to face the jury at final tribal council.
Despite Romeo putting in a strong showing, he came out of the experience with nary a vote while Mike’s subpar performance scored him only one as the jury gave Maryanne a resounding win for not only a game well played, but for dominating final tribal council.
After the cast finished filming the on island reunion, I quickly pulled Maryanne aside to toast her success. While she had a wild yet somehow quiet game at the start, she expertly read the room and was able to reset once she realised how she was being perceived, leading her on a path to greatness. Pulling off some epic moves at the right moments to not only get her to the end, but earn her the win. More importantly, she also was an epic and engaging character that will go down in the pantheon of legends. But for now, we’ll always have Maryanne Picoketchutney.
I always had a fear of the bright yellow pickle that lived in my fridge as a child, but thankfully with time comes wisdom and as an adult, my love affair began. Super tart, a little bit sweet and lightly spice, this is the perfect accompaniment for any occasion. Particularly a win.
Maryanne Picoketchutney Makes: 1.5L.
Ingredients 500g cauliflower, cut into small florets 200g zucchini, cut into a fine dice 100g green beans, trimmed and thinly sliced 1 onion, diced 2 tbsp sea salt 600ml malt vinegar 3 tbsp English mustard powder 1 tbsp coriander seeds 2 tbsp yellow mustard seeds 2 tsp cumin seeds 1 tsp turmeric ¼ cup plain flour ⅔ cup raw caster sugar 2 bay leaves
Method Combine the cauliflower, zucchini, beans and onion in a bowl with the salt. Cover and leave to steep at room temperature overnight. In the morning, rinse under cold water and drain.
Whisk 100 ml of vinegar with the mustard powder, coriander, mustard and cumin seeds, turmeric and flour to form a paste.
Combine the rest of the ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until the sugar dissolves. Whisk in the mustard mixture and cook for a couple of minutes, or until starting to thicken. Add the drained vegetables and cook for a further couple of minutes.
Ladle the mixture into sterilised jars and seal immediately, storing in a cool dark place until opened. Then devour, immediately.
Previously on Survivor after Mike defeated Jonathan in the firemaking challenge and won his spot in the final three, the trio enjoyed one final day in Fiji before heading to tribal council. After copping a respectful grilling, Maryanne dominated the Q&A with equal parts charm and wisdom while Romeo was surprisingly confident in articulating why he deserved to be here. Sadly for him, it wasn’t enough to secure him any votes as he finished in third place.
Jeffrey then read the votes and despite playing a strong game, only one vote turned up for Mike as he took out second place, handing Maryanne a near unanimous victory as the jury crowned her the Sole Survivor.
Once Mike was done smashing pizza on the after show, I pulled him aside to perk him back up after just coming up short. Mike had played such a dominant game, controlling his tribe before the merge and managing to form meaningful bonds that carried him far into the game. Never mind the fact he was smart and knew when to make a move, all while minimising the fact he was super buff and a massive threat.
Really the only major flaw was his game was not owning it and like Sharn in Australia – who suffered her third loss in the recent election – the jury couldn’t respect it and it cost him the game. While he was disappointed at the outcome, Mike being Mike, he was super upbeat and proud of Maryanne. Though it is easy to work through the pain when you’re smashing a Mikaarage Chicken Turger.
Super crispy chicken, velvety mayonnaise and creamy avocado, smooshed between two soft buns, how can you go wrong? Oh and did I mention crunchy lettuce and a punch of kecap manis. It is, so, good.
Mikaraage Chicken Turger Serves: 8.
Ingredients 1 tbsp mirin 1 tbsp soy sauce 4 garlic cloves, minced 2 tsp ginger, minced ½ cup kewpie mayonnaise 8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs 100g cornflour sunflower oil, for frying 3 avocados, mashed 1 lemon, zested and juiced salt and pepper, to taste 8 burger rolls 1 butter lettuce 2 tomatoes ¼ cup kecap manis
Method Combine the mirin, soy, garlic and ginger and 1 tbsp of the mayo in a bowl. Add the chicken and stir to coat, before covering and popping in the fridge to marinate for an hour or so.
Pop the cornflour in a bowl and heat about 5cm deep of oil in a large pan over medium heat. Take the chicken out of the fridge and press the chicken into the cornflour to coat before transferring the chicken into the pot to fry, two at a time, for about 4-5 minutes each side or until cooked through. Transfer to some paper towel to drain and repeat the process until the chicken is done.
To assemble the burgers, mash the avo with the lemon zest and juice and a good whack of salt and pepper. Split all the buns in half and toast on a griddle pan. Spread the avo on the base, followed by some lettuce and tomato, then the chicken, followed by a drizzle of kewpie and some kecap manis. Then devour immediately, greedily. Messily. Happily.