Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers

Americana Week, Main, Party Food, Side, Snack

While our relationship with Alec Baldwin is volatile (let’s be honest, do any of the three of us have a non-volatile relationship?), it can not be denied that the man is an American icon and as such earns his place on our Americana Week celebrations.

We first met Alec on the set of Beetlejuice where we were his sworn enemies, but were won over while working together on Working Girl (we were script advisors) and it is this up and down between love and hate that has defined our relationship over the decades.

After we got him the role of The Shadow, he vowed to never turn away from us again and it was following its horrific release when he first used the term cocksucking faggot. The second time was after we called him useless in our lauded film, Team America.

Following years feuding and feeding information to Kim Basinger (we leaked the conversation with Ireland) and the paps, our dear friend Teens got in touch on his behalf, hoping that she can help mend our fences once and for all.

While the 30 Rock years were dreamy for our relationship, it has been strained ever since when he, again, referred to me as a cocksucking faggot to reporters. How dare he not mention that I was also beautiful? I do not tolerate sub-standard compliments (I don’t see how being a cocksucking faggot, isn’t a good thing).

Alec heard that we were in the country at the behest of Barack and wanted to try and win me back following his thoughtless oversights and as such, we dropped by.

To say Alec was laying on the charm is a major understatement, complimenting our high-Hollywood-society return (we assume he wants a career boost) and was hoping to get an invite to White House (please).

The only consolation we could offer was a batch of (his favourite) Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers!

 

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers_1

 

Like Alec, the balls are fiery and really pack a punch. If you’re not a fan of blue cheese, you could leave it out and ignore the stuffing steps.

Obviously Alec wanted me to leave in the cheese, he never could resist the creamy ooze from my balls popping in his mouth.

Enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

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Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers_2

 

Buffalec Baldwin Chicken Meatball Poppers
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
¼ cup unsalted butter
⅓ cup hot sauce, plus more for serving
500g chicken mince
1 egg
½ cup celery, minced in food processor
½ cup carrot, minced in food processor
¾ cups dried breadcrumbs
1 teaspoons coarse salt
150g (ish) blue cheese, broken into small shards

Method
Preheat oven to 180 C.

Place butter and hot sauce in a small saucepan and cook, whisking, over low heat until butter is melted and hot sauce is well incorporated. Remove from heat and transfer to a bowl to cool until room temperature (about 10 minutes).

Add chicken, eggs, celery, carrot, breadcrumbs and salt to bowl with the butter/hot sauce mixture and mix until well combined. Roll chicken mixture into large walnut sized round balls, flatten and place a piece of blue cheese in the centre, closing the meat around it.

Place balls on a lined prepared baking sheet, arranging in rows so that they are touching. Transfer to oven and bake until cooked, about 15 minutes.

Take out of oven and leave to stand for about 5 minutes before serving platter. Drizzle with extra hot sauce if desired, otherwise just devour.

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins

Americana Week, Party Food, Side, Snack

We thought it best to start off Americana Week by dropping in with one of our closest all-American friends and who is more red…white and blue than dear Taylor Swift?

Like many of our relationships, we started off as Tay’s staunchest of enemies following an altercation at Chateau Marmont in the mid-00s.

We were all young when we first saw her, I close my eyes and the flashbacks start…we were living in Beverly Hills with Lisa Vanderpump at the time and were trying to grift Lindsay Lohan, who was staying at the Chateau when TayTay and her entourage stopped us in our tracks and defended Linds.

While it used to be bad blood between us (these songs were both written about us), the three of us now have nothing but mad love for one another after T-Swiz accepted our baked apology during one of our 12-step programs.

Little known fact, but we are actually the ones that got Tay and our Hollywood friends first hooked on baking!

We made a beeline for Taylor’s Beverly Hills cottage as soon as we landed and were greeted by a batch of cookies and freshly squeezed OJ. It goes without saying, but Ms Swift is a delightful, saint.

We spent the morning baking it (our jetlag) off, gossiping about what has been happening in Hollywood since we left (other than Jaime King erroneously snubbing Annelie and I for a co-Godparent role with Taylor) and how hilarious it is that people don’t know we went back in time to choreograph the aerobics video to Shake It Off as a laugh.

Our wider circle of friends dropped by for an early 4th of July party and at Tay’s request we whipped up a batch of our universally lauded Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins.

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins_1

 

Regular potato skins are good, but if you want to really make them sing like Taylor, you’ve got to use sweet potato. The rich, sweetness is cut by sharp cheddar and a kick of chilli leaving a party in your mouth to which everyone is invited. Unlike our celebrity soirees.

Lucky we let you read about them!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins_2

 

Sweet Potaylor Swift Skins
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2-4 large sweet potatoes
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
4 shallots, finely sliced
hot sauce, to taste
pinch smoked paprika
chives, for serving
sour cream, for serving

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C. Thoroughly wash sweet potatoes and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until tender. Allow sweet potatoes to cool (leaving oven on).

Cook bacon in a small fry-pan for 5 minutes, or until crisp. Remove from heat.

Cut sweet potatoes into quarters, ensuring skin remains intact. Scoop out flesh, leaving roughly a 5mm layer of potato. If your potatoes are huge, cut them into smaller strips (like in the pictures) Place skins onto a baking tray, flesh-side down and bake for 5 minutes, or until golden. Turn over and bake for a further 5 minutes.

Sprinkle bacon, shallots and a dash of hot sauce into skins. Top with cheese and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until cheese is melted and golden.

Serve with sour cream , finely slice chives and a sprinkle of smoked paprika.

USA is A OK! (aka Americana Week)

Americana Week, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

With Friday’s SCOTUS ruling, we are feeling excited and loving all things equality … and if there is something we place as equal value on in as our extensive list of celebrity friends, it is the culinary joy that is Americana food.

I mean, literally cover us in rib sauce and buffalo wings in a bath of mac and cheese and we would be at our happiest.

We are heading over to the good ole U S of A at the request of our dear friend and POTUS, Barack, to oversee some official (and sadly private) cook-out duties at the White House for the 4th of July weekend.

While we can’t take you behind the scenes of that catch-up (he is POTUS guys, don’t be greedy) we thought we would drop in on five of our friends and help them celebrate their independence days.

What can we make that can live up to the movie (and its future sequel starring our dear friend Karl)?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: New Line Cinema/Buzzfeed.

Salsa Struthers

Dip, Sauce, Side

I know what you’re thinking, “didn’t they just post a recipe two days ago?”

Yes, that is true but having so many friends wanting to catch-up means we have to find new ways to burn through the list and keep people happy. Popularity can truly be a curse sometimes!

Sally Struthers has been emailing us for the last few months asking for help in fixing one of her past culinary disasters at a cast party for Gilmore Girls. Since we were eventually, and tragically, blacklisted from the set by ASP after our failed triplets storyline, Sally convinced us that going back in time would help rectify her shame and stop us from pitching the storyline.

We have known Sally for a long time, working as her PAs / chariots around the set of All In The Family (which is where we first met Bea) and remained friends throughout her career and travelled with her to Africa for philanthropic work. She even convinced ABC to create the character of Baby Sinclair as an ode to young Annelie!

While we still pitched the storyline (and stand by its brilliance) and got ourselves banned, we did help Sally shine with a simple and delicious Salsa Struthers for the party.

It was so great catching up with our 00s friends and getting to re-live the joy of being on the Gilmore Girls set … and we used the opportunity to make bets with the cast about future shows that would film on the Stars Hollow lot (we made a killing off the Hart of Dixie “prediction”).

 

Salsa Struthers_1

 

While most people associate those thick, rich jarred sauces as salsa, the only truly glorious salsa is made with nice ripe tomatoes and is generously seasoned with a kick of lime.

Sally is now a believer – enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Salsa Struthers_2

 

Salsa Struthers
Makes: 1(ish) cup.

Ingredients
2 tomatoes, roughly chopped
Juice of ½ lime
1 shallot, finely sliced
1 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
1 tbsp pickled jalapeño, roughly chopped

Method
Mix the tomatoes with the lime juice, shallot, coriander and jalapeño, then season carefully to taste.

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies

Main, Party Food, Snack

Time travel is a many splendored thing, despite what The Butterfly Effect would have you believe. I mean, it isn’t all hover boards and future lotto numbers (although that reminds me…), but getting to spend time with dearly departed friends and experiencing major historical events (we were on the Titanic and accidentally caused the Captain to hit the iceberg) and even experienced Jurassic World when the world was in the actual Jurassic period.

It is fucking ace.

Thankfully we didn’t venture quite so far back this time (we weren’t wanting to be present for Stockard Channing’s birth or anything), dropping in to the late 80s to the set of The Golden Girls to discuss the importance of our placement on Bea Arthur’s will.

We have been dropping in on The Golden Girls for the best part of a decade now to experience the joys of the show first hand … and to try and earn Guest-Star Emmy’s by recasting ourselves into the episodes (it is actually Ben playing the Elvis impersonator played by Quentin Tarantino).

While at first dear Bea wasn’t thrilled to hear our visit had an ulterior motive, when we laid out our plans for the museum she was moved to tears by our love, adoration and the promise to ban Betty White (we love you Bets, but you know we need this museum to work for our grand plans to take off…).

Oh and obviously the Mini Beaf Arthur and Mushroom Pies didn’t hurt the deal!

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_1

 

There is nothing better than a dirty street pie, except of course a dirty home-made pie. By no stretch of the imagination is this meal dignified, but to me a good pie will never be dignified; chunks of veggies and meat bathed in rich gravy with a nice whack of pepper … to the extent that when I make this it is practically a pepper steak pie.

Obviously drown in tommy sauce for final, glorious impact!

Enjoy!

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies_2

 

Mini Beaf Arthur & Mushroom Pies
Makes: 18.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 brown onion, halved, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
500g lean beef mince
large handful mushrooms, sliced
1 carrot, peeled, coarsely grated
1 stalk of celery, coarsely grated
1 cup beef stock
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 sheets shortcrust pastry, just thawed
2 sheets ready-rolled puff pastry, just thawed
salt and pepper, to taste
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Heat oil in a medium frying pan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes or until onion softens. Add the mince and cook, stirring / breaking up any lumps with a spoon, for 5 minutes or until browned. Add the carrot, celery and mushrooms and stir until well combined.

Add flour and tomato paste to mince mixture and cook, stirring, for a minute. Pour in beef stock and cook, again stirring, until sauce thickens slightly. Remove from heat. Cover and set aside for 30 minutes to cool.

Preheat oven to 180°C. Cut the shortcrust pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Line eighteen muffin pans with the shortcrust pastry squares. Spoon mince mixture among pastry cases.

Cut puff pastry sheets into 18 even squares. Top each pie with a pastry square, scrunching any excess around the edge for decoration. Brush tops with egg.

Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and set aside in the pans for 5 minutes to cool. Serve pies with tommy sauce.

Travelled down the road and back in time

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

It is a well-known fact that Annelie and I invented time-travel.

We won’t bore you with the details other than the fact it happens in thirteen years from now, anything beyond that would be too much for your poor, non-Scientific minds. Comparatively of course, as we are the two brightest (in your face Hawking).

Anyway, we have tried to keep all of our catch-ups in the present but sometimes you just want to spend time with some of your dearly-departed friends – particularly when their Hollywood home is on the market and we think it would be worthwhile going back to have their will changed.

Calm down, I can almost hear the universal disdain from here but dear Bea Arthur was one of our closest friends and she will appreciate the fact that we want to convert her home into a museum slash theme park, second to only Dollywood.

What says hey, we are from the future and would love for you to change your will so that we can convert your home into a monetised shrine to you?

It has to be something more enticing than a lifetime ban for her frenemy, Betty White…

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: NBC/LogoTV.com.

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)

Side

Lets just get it out of the way straight up – Nicole Kidman is still one of our nemeses (and just the worst) and Grace of Monaco is truly horrific. The Weinstein movie that became a Lifetime movie, not the woman; she was a champ (and a close friend).

Despite our catch up with Simon Baker-he-will-always-be-Denny-to-us being based on a horror, our time with him was anything but.

We first met Simon on the set of the greatest Australian drama of all time, E Street, where we were working as Toni Pearen’s mirror. Yes, her mirror – she paid us to describe how she looked and by that, to tell her that she looked ok.

Obviously seeing we were in a horrid situation, Simon took us under his wings (sadly and shockingly, not under the covers though) and hired us as his bodyguards slash entourage (the show is actually based on us, not Marky Blah-k) before our fortunes changed after meeting Zsa Zsa in priz. Once he joined us in L.A. we were able to payback his kindness and got him his first film role in L.A. Confidential (I was having a torrid affair with Spacey at the time).

Not long after he married his wife Bec and became stuck tolerating Ms. Kidman with us. As such, we like to catch-up every couple of months to trash talk and reminisce about the good old (pre-Kidman) days.

As I said, Grace of Monaco is one of her worst but thankfully our Simon Potato Baker (Denny) is one of our best.

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)_1

 

Rich, creamy, cheesey with a kick of garlic and (a crap-load of) bacon. Need I say more? Serve with a steak or whatever piece of meat you like or as we prefer, in the dish with a large spoon each.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)_2

 

Simon Potato Baker (Denny)
Serves: 4 (dependent on the size of the dish used).

Ingredients (All quantities depend on the size of the dish)
4-6 (ish) large potatoes
6 rashers shortcut bacon, dependent on how much you love bacon
1-2 tablespoons crushed garlic
1 cup of grated cheddar
300ml cream
salt and pepper, to season

Method
Pre-heat oven to 160 C.

Peel and wash all potatoes and slice into just under ½cm slices. Cut bacon into a small dice.

Place a layer of potatoes over the base of your dish. Sprinkle with some diced bacon, crushed garlic and grated cheese, to taste.

Repeat until all the ingredients have been used up slash you have almost filled the dish, finishing with a layer of potatoes.

Once done, pour cream over the the potatoes until it is ½ to ¾ of the way up the dish. Season and top with a generous layer of cheese.

Bake in the oven for 30 minutes to 1 hour, or until potato is tender and the bake is browned on the top.

He’s A Sexy Babymaker

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I’ve said it once and I will likely say it a thousand times, mutual hatred is the ultimate relationship builder! None more so than when you are united by the hate of one Ms. Nicky Kidman (you know what you did Nicole).

While we made some poor choices and befriended her on the set of BMX Bandits, poor Simon Baker Denny married into a friendship with her and has had to tolerate her ways ever since.

Simon is dropping by to hate-watch Grace of Monaco with us and requested a small snack, that is warming and delicious. Super specific but we love him (even despite this look), what should we make?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: Unknown.

Empanada Stone

Main, Party Food, Snack

You know what is odd about our friendship with Emma Stone? We didn’t meet her in any kind of institution or other involuntary lock-up that normally leads to such beautiful friendships. Look, Ben did get locked up briefly after befriending two delightful old ducks from Washington and proceeding to get raucously drunk and heckle Emma during a performance of Cabaret – but Ben’s unceremonious turfing out wasn’t Emma’s fault. Despite taking out a restraining order against us, she clearly loved the fuss.

So how did we meet? Emma she had just finished filming Easy A and found that we had a mutual nemesis – the eternally smug-faced Penn Badgley. Penn attempted to steal Ben’s identity when he was majorly internet famous during the Great Moustache Cultivation of 2013. Let’s be honest, you don’t really need a reason to hate Penn Badgley, so having one was a bonus.

While our antics may have gotten Penn sectioned, Ben and I stayed out of involuntary confinement for a change – all in all a great success.

 

emma1

 

Despite the Cabaret incident, Emma has fond memories of the days of sabotaging Penn. As she now has a vendetta against whoever cast her in Aloha, she wanted to come over for lunch and discuss a glorious new revenge plot. We needed a recipe that would work like our fool-proof schemes – soft and buttery and inviting on the outside, with a fiery inferno waiting within. It had to be Empanada Stones.

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

 

emma 2

 

Empanada Stone
Serves: 16 empanadas

Ingredients
Dough
2.5 cups plain flour
150g butter, cold
1 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 tablespoon white vinegar
iced water, to bind

Filling
500g minced beef
2 eggs, hard boiled and cooled
100g chopped mixed olives
1 brown onion, finely diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed2 tablespoons tomato paste
1  cup beef stock
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano

Egg, additional for washing pastry

Method
Dough
Rub butter into sifted flour. Stir through egg and vinegar, and then add iced water until pastry binds. Knead gently until a disc is formed. Wrap in clingfilm and refrigerate for 30 mins.

Filling
Brown mince and soften onion in a large stove-top casserole dish. Add garlic, tomato paste and spices and cook until aromatic. Add stock and simmer for 30 minutes or until thick.

Stir through olives and chopped egg and allow mixture to cool to room temperature.

Assembly
Heat oven to 180 degrees C. Grease and line a large baking tray.

Roll out pastry to approximately 0.5cm thick and cut rounds of desired size. Fill with 2-3 tablespoons of mixture and press to seal, pressing with a fork along the sealed edge.Brush each empanada lightly with egg wash.

Bake 20-25 mins or until golden and crisp.

Aloha or (The Unexpected Virtue of Cultural Ignorance)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Our famous friends always tell us that we make a great shoulder to cry on. With all the eyebrow raising and tut-tutting surrounding our old friend Emma Stone and her role in Cameron Crowe’s Aloha, we thought our friend might need just that.

While I have needed to work through my deep-seated resentment for Emma (who replaced me as Woody Allen’s latest muse), I do admit she has a fine set of pipes so we need to keep her on side for a possible Jazz In Your Face vocal cameo (we are totally making it back on Ellen).

What could we make that could soothe our ‘culturally confused’ friend?

Also guys, as we are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Friendster, FriendFace, Myspace and YouFace coming soon.

Picture source: marieclaire.com