Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the top five were tasked with auditioning for Ru’s new girl group the Kitty Girls … against the five previously eliminated queens. Gasp. Sadly for the eliminees, the top five wiped the floor with them, none more so than DeLa and (apparently) BeBe who lip synced for the chance to eliminate one of their fellow top fivers and bring back Morgan, Thorgy, Milk, Chi Chi or Aja. DeLa won yet again, bringing Morgan back to the competition before pulling off the gag of the century AND ELIMINATING HERSELF FROM THE COMPETITION.
Needless to say the new top five were pretty shook when they returned to the werkroom. Trixie couldn’t believe she opted out Geri style in front of Baby Bunton, no doubt concerned about it triggering some PTSD (Viva Forever, Baby). Morgan wasn’t sure whether she was more shocked about being chosen to return, or the fact DeLa kinda wasted a spot of another alumni who would have fought hard for the crown. While they agreed she hated pulling lipsticks, Kennedy wasn’t down for her quit. Obviously.
Thankfully Trixie put it best, saying that now that their front runner has gone, they’re the pretty girls at prom and their chances of winning just skyrocketed. Well, except for Kennedy and Morgan TBH.
The queens checked in to see how Morgan was going … before BeBe got hella shady and refused to show anyone who she was planning to eliminate or bring back. Shangelarys Targaryen just found her Cersei, and she ain’t happy.
Ru dropped by the werkroom with Queen Nancy Pelosi who is a delightful fucking icon and I love her. After reminding everyone to vote, Ru tasked her with werking before handing the queens their next task – playing Oscar winning roles in a raunchy comedy. Morgan’s welcome back gift was to cast the roles, giving Sharon Frockovich to Trixie, The Queen to BeBe, Actavia to Shangela, The Beige Swan to herself and La La to Kennedy, much to Trixie chagrin, who wanted one of the latter two.
The queens met with Ross who coached them through overacting during filming. Shangela obviously slayed her poo-pie making role, while BeBe assumed she was the queen that inspired The Queen, while Trixie thankfully discovered her role was a true gift hamming it up to Ross’ delight. Kennedy was then too much, and Morgan was mute … and then hissed at everyone.
We flashed forward to elimination day where Trixie discovered she suffers from my problem, being so sarcastic that people assume she is an asshole (RIP the Big and the Milky). Morgan however flagged that sometimes people do think she thinks a little highly of herself. Shangie called out BeBe for being bougie, looking down her nose at other queens. Morgan talked about loving to share the stage with her fellow sisters, poor Kennedy spoke about wanting to be people’s first choice rather than an afterthought.
On the runway, BeBe and Kennedy exchanged looks with BeBe covered in rhinestones and Kennedy bringing full glamazon. Morgan went full Scot, Shangela was horny and Trixie slayed them all, dressed as the sexiest librarian complete with a stack of books on her head to help reading for filth. Ru then gave a screening of their films trailer, where Trixie and Shangela owned the screen while the other three floundered. At best.
BeBe was praised for her runway, though destroyed for her acting. Shangela and Trixie deservedly universal praise, Kennedy was meh and Morgan was praised for her runway before being destroyed for her performance as The Beige Swan.
Trixie and Shangela obviously took out victory, giving them the opportunity to grill the bottom 3 and make them sweat. BeBe felt she did well in the challenge – spoiler, she didn’t – and that her track record should be enough to keep herself safe … before letting slip that she clearly has never watched an episode of Drag Race. I mean, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ORNACIA? Thankfully for her Kennedy pronounces meme, mimi, which was enough to run distraction.
Trixie pulled BeBe aside to find out why she decided to fuck up the challenge with BeBe continuing to play the line that she did well. Again, she didn’t. Shangela caught up with Kennedy, vowing not to eliminate her, I assume because she loaned her a top. They then plotted who should be eliminated out of BeBe and Morgan, wanting to give the latter a chance to shine and knock the former down a peg or two. Morgan and Trixie caught up, with Morgan acknowledging the other girls have proven themselves while she has only had to do three challenges.
While Trixie gave a killer performance to Ru’s Freaky Money – featured on Gay for Play, praise BenDeLaChrist – there was no competing with Shangela’s obese stripper schtick, who slayed the lip sync and sent Morgan out of the competition again. Eerily completing Aja’s prophecy from the first episode, truly making her Mor-gone.
(Seriously what is with Morgans being cut from reality TV shows this week?)
Morgs may not have made it to the final four, but she looked beautiful on the runway and got to show her softer, kinder side in the werk room and after her elimination. And dare I say it, that is the best way to rehab a bitchy image … take note Phi Phi. Once again, her one episode performance – and it is not just because I love her mumma Chad – was more than worthy of some hearty Morgan McGriddles.
Now I know my hotcakes are way too thin … but when something tastes this good, I expect you to look the other way and accept my failings. I mean, the maple chunks still squirt in your mouth while devouring the ultimate breakfast sandwich. What more could you ask for? Don’t answer that.
½ cup maple syrup
1 cup flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp butter, melted, plus extra for cooking
½ cup milk
5 egg, 1 whole, 4 scrambled
4 pork sausages, skins removed and shaped into patties
4 slices American cheese
Bring the maple syrup to the boil in a saucepan over medium heat, and cook syrup, stirring constantly, for about ten minutes, or until syrupy, caramelly and thick. Pour onto a lined baking sheet and allow to cool completely and harden. Once set, smash it into small shards and set aside.
Meanwhile combine the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in a bowl, and whisk the butter, milk and the ‘whole’ egg in a jug. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet while stirring. Continue stirring until a smooth batter forms.
Place a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When scorching, reduce heat to low and melt a teaspoon of butter. Pour a tablespoon or so of batter into the pan, sprinkle with the maple shards and pour in a further tablespoon. Cook until firm around the edges and bubbles hold their shape on the top. Flip and cook for a further minutes or so. Repeat until you’ve got 8 pancakes.
Melt some more butter in the pan and cook the patties for a couple of minutes each side, or until cooked through. Leave to rest. Add, you guessed it, butter and pour the eggs into the pan and cook until it forms a thin omelette. Flip, remove from heat and cut into quarters.
To make the sandwich, place a pancake on a plate, top with cheese, patties and a piece of egg. Top with remaining pancake, and devour. With or without Slash Browns.
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