Previously on Drag Race the fourteen new queens and the icon, the meme the legend Miss Vanjie, were tasked with taking Drag Race royalty’s trash and turning it into treasure. Soju was making her first dress when Miley joined the girls to spy on them in the Werk Room and Silky decided to ignore the decree that drag is not a contact sport. Brooke Lynn Hytes slayed the first challenge with Detox’s junk, while Coco’s girl Kahanna and Soju landed in the bottom, and Soju bid her cyst-ers farewell given the Montrese’s are here to assassinate via lip sync.
Back in the Werk Room the queens were sad to lose Soju, though thrilled that they got to live through a queen talking about an oozing cyst on the runway. Much to Vanjie’s disappointment as she believes cysts have no place in Mama Ru’s ears. The queens all congratulated Brooke on her well deserved victory while Scarlet was annoyed that she didn’t win give how great her critiques were. And she just wanted people to acknowledge that she too has oats that should be felt.
The queens arrived the next day and we learnt via Fuck, Marry, Kill that all the queens would kill SIlky before Ru arrived to share that we’re being punished with an acting challenge super early this season. But not before the celebrity photobomb mini challenge. Nina flashed Cardi B, Plastique was shook by Amber Rose, Scarlet mourned Harry and Megs’ wedding, Silky went full nude for Tom Brady, Ariel smelt Celine’s breakfast, Yvie went OD-D with Paris and Nicole, Honey was irked by Mariah, Kahanna was gooped by Gwen, Shuga tried to take all of Zef – relatable – Nicki scarred A’Keria, Brooke Lynn flashed Trump, Mercedes tried to figure out KellyAnne’s seating style, Ra’jah hung with Annie Wint and Vanjie palled around with Kim K and Madge.
Given skin is in, Brooke and Silky got to each cast their parody movie – Good God Girl, Get Out! and Why it gotta be black, Panther? – with Brooke going with Nina, Ra’jah, Honey, Shuga, Plastique and Ariel and Silky taking A’Keria, Vanjie, Mercedes, Yvie and Kahanna, with Scarlet on her team by default. Much to her disappointment. Given her acting prowess. Brooke’s team got off to a strong start with their take on Black Panther, kiki-ing while handing out roles and enjoying each other’s energy. Meanwhile over at Silky’s, Scarlet was concerned to have the most lines, while Kahanna was concerned with her absolute lack of them. More importantly, Vanjie had no idea what the fuck is going on and is concerned that she will choke on her first ever acting challenge.
Ru returned to check in on the girls with Ariel quickly pointing out that Silky’s personality could derail her team’s performance. Team Brooke jumped in to point out that she has made them all feel steamrolled since arriving, and wished that she wasn’t too on for the cameras. Ru went and checked in with Silky, quickly bringing up the fact her attitude needs to be checked. And to that, she says fuck you bitch. She then charmed the shit out of Ru and TBH, I don’t know who we’re meant to be rooting for – Silky or everyone else.
Brooke’s team were first upon transporting us to Dragkanda for Why It Gotta Be Black, Panther, where the leader struggled like Kameron Michaels before her. Shuga was stoner perfection, girl Ariel ad libbed a girl 1000 times, Ra’jah was fierce, Plastique was hilarious, Nina and Honey slayed, and then Ra’jah started to miss her lines and stumbled hard. Meanwhile on the set of Good God Girl, Get Out! Yvie and Scarlet shone from the start, Vanjie bombed in the best possible, struggling to hit the dorky dad muck and stumbled onto comedy gold, and Mercedes couldn’t pronounce opulence or own. And Kahanna was a mess. Silky pushed through not knowing her lines and A’Keria tased Silky’s left tit and I live for it.
Elimination Day arrived with Scarlet still feeling her oats, while Silky worked on doing white face and annoying Ariel. Speaking of which, Yvie brought up the drama and asked if Silky was ok, with her doubling down on her behaviour which lead to Ariel owning it was her. Which I live for, though I agree it is annoying that no one admitted to agreeing. Nina admitted she did agree, which annoyed Yvie, which annoyed Ra’jah, leading to them coming for each other and damn – the drama mama, finally!
With that out of the way Silky decided white face was a bad choice before the pageant girls spoke about their experiences where we learnt that Mercedes used to be on a no-fly list AND THEN spoke about having a stroke in the middle of a pageant and holy shit, I love her. And feel really bad about calling out her struggles with pronunciation during the filming.
On the zodiac runway Brooke Lynn looked like she got caught in a series of can-rings, Plastique was horny, Ra’jah served Lamb Chop realness and Nina was a flaming lion while Honey channeled The Lion King, but make it Diana Ross via Bebe. Shuga was Betty Spaghetti scorpio, Ariel looked like a technicolour bull, Silky looked like a protester thought her bodysuit was fur, Yvie was the love child of Tin Man and the Lion, in the best way and Vanjie owned the runway with a floral scale. A’Keria showed that trying to rep Pisces is tough, despite being the best sign, Mercedes looked like a warrior queen, Kahanna was a mess until her skirt fell away – when it was still bad but at least improved – and it turns out Pisces can look good, because Scarlet was bubbly and beautiful. When it came to movies, Ra’jah, Shuga and Plastique stole the show in Why It Gotta Be Black, Panther? while Brooke and Ariel fell flat. On the flipside, Good God Girl, Get Out! was a tale of high highs, Derrick Barry cameos, and low lows. Vanjie stole every scene as a demented dad, Scarlet and Yvie owned the show and well, Kahanna and Mercedes bombed.
Despite having the best runway Vanjie was called safe alongside Nina, Silky, Honey, A’Keria and Ra’jah. Brooke’s outfit was praised, while her performance in the challenge was read for filth given she missed her Beyonce-what? Line. Plastique’s thriftiness for using the same boots in the shoot and on the runway was read, though she was praised for slaying the challenge. As was Shuga, though Michelle didn’t see how her runway was Scorpio. And Ariel was called out for being clunky. Scarlet received universal praise for her performance and slaying the runway, as did Yvie, with their chemistry highlighted for carrying the movie. Mercedes runway was read before Michelle called out her pronunciation, leading to Mercedes sharing her medical history and poor Michelle felt as awkward as me. Kahanna’s outfit was read for filth given how basic it was, and while Ross praised her for trying really hard in the challenge, it wasn’t good.
With that Scarlet and Yvie took out shared victory – the chemistry comment making more sense – while Mercedes and Kahanna landed in the bottom two, lip syncing for their life to Britney’s Work Bitch. And work they did. Mercedes was brought to life, wig revealing, hitting every syllable and back bending and splitting like a boss, while Kahanna obviously flipped around and did the Montrese clan proud. Tragically though it wasn’t enough for the wee Montrese as she was cruelly chopped from the competition … and sent into my loving arms. The poor thing was heartbroken to have done her drag justice, and wished that she just had one more week to show us. Which I reminded her could be All Stars 5 if the thirst is real, over fat slabs of Kahanna Moncrepes. And obvi, the thirst is real.
Like Kahanna beautiful face and killer moves, this cake is super super sweet and I dream about it most nights. Delicate crepes, velvety nutella filling and a rich layer of chocolate. I need it in my mouth, like, yesterday.
1 cup flour
1 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 ½ cups milk
4 eggs, lightly whisked
butter, to grease
1 cup Nutella
½ cup thickened cream
100g dark chocolate, chopped
Combine the flour and sugar in a large bowl, and whisk the milk and eggs in a jug. Slowly whisk the wet ingredients with the dry until a smooth mix is formed. Cover and leave to rest in the fridge for an hour.
Bring a small frying pan to a medium heat, grease with a small nob of butter and pour 2 tbsp of batter in the pan, swirling to coat the base. Cook for a minute on each side before transferring to a plate and repeating the process until the batter is gone.
To make the filling, combine the nutella and mascarpone, stirring until smooth.
To assemble, place a crepe on the serving platter and spread a little bit of the nutella mixture on top. Add a crepe, top with more mixture and repeat the process until done, leaving the final crepe exposed. Transfer to the fridge to set for a couple of hours.
When the cake is set, place the cream in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer. Remove from heat and pour into a bowl with the chopped up chocolate. Stir until smooth, pour over the cake and return to the fridge to set for fifteen minutes.
Carve and devour immediately, eating your feelings that we’re down a thirst trap.
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