Grab the footy franks and the Tia Maria, Sharon love – we’ve got something to celebrate! Yes, Ru and Michelle have made their way back down under to witness another season of ratchet delights – Ru’s words, not mine – alongside the franchise’s best judge Rhys.
And you just know I was on hand to help keep the dolls happy post-boot, despite being absolutely up to pussy’s bow with recaps and commiserations all around the globe.
You know why? You know why, Kim? Not because I’m a bitch, but because I have a feeling in my waters this season is going to be a winner! Or at the very least, noice, different and unusual.
Who will go from a great hunk of spunk to a total hornbag, worthy of the Down Under crown? And who will stumble at the first hurdle and become the first sheila to sashay away? Likely screaming for a cardonnay and a statue of baby cheeses.
Or, you know, whatever I whip up for them next week.
Previously on All Winners as the dolls edged closer to another crown, Jaida and Jinkx were way out in front of the pack, while Shea was trailing behind with a solitary star. Facing another roast, Trinity was nervous after bombing both Season 9 and All Stars 4’s versions. Thankfully she got her redemption, with a killer set that was oh so joyous and silly. Once again all the girls were very strong in the challenge, though it was ultimately Jinkx – who followed DeLa to secure her fifth win in a single season – and Trinity that were deemed the top two. And once again, Jinkx powered through the lip sync, emerging as a lowkey assassin to secure another $10K. Though not the power to block, given Ru decided to suspend All Winners rules for the final challenge.
Backstage Jinkx was on cloud nine, thrilled to definitely be making it to the top four while the rest congratulated her on dominating the season. And were thrilled about not being blocked. Trinity too was proud to be guaranteed a spot in the finale with her fourth win, while Shea was essentially ready to accept defeat and the fact she will not be a finalist. Starting to question whether she can nap through next week rather than watch them lip sync for the crown. Jaida gave Shea a pep talk, reminding her that anything can happen in Drag Race and she isn’t even confident she will get there with her three stars. And oh God, please don’t be shitty foreshadowing.
The next day the dolls were all ready to fight for the last stars while Jaida showed off her cute arse. Her words, though I won’t disagree. Before we could see it unsheathed, Ru arrived to announce that for their final Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the Drag Race Gives Back Variety Extravaganza. With the winner of the lip sync not just getting $10K, but able to donate $30K to charity. Oh and this challenge is worth 3 stars, so yeah, condragulations Shea, you’re still in the game! But before they compete, they have to have a tic tac lunch opposite Ru and Michelle.
With all the bombs dropped, Ru exited as the dolls split up to prep for the talent show as Shea realised she just needs to win this challenge to make it to the end. Making her laser focused to kill the performance. Raja meanwhile was opening up to Trinity about her talent show performance, which is a traditional Indonesian dance number and fuck, give her the win and get her into the finale NOW.
Trinity was first to kiki with Ru and Michelle, talking about how different her life is thanks to Drag Race. She then spoke about her charity, Planned Parenthood and all that it does for the community before explaining to Ru that she doesn’t have small town ideals on account of being gay. And as she says, I LIVE! The Viv was next up talking about how the experience changed her, competing against people that she has looked up to and proving she deserves to be here. Her charity is Trans Lifeline and she will be singing an original song written by DIANE WARREN?!
Backstage Monet shared that she would be doing opera in the talent show and you just know this is going to be rudemption for the All Stars 4 talent show. She then dropped by Ru and Michelle with the former gushing over how proud she is of Monet, while she opened up about how powerful her fans are. And she will be singing for Black Power for Change, and requested that Ru wear opera glasses for the performance. Yvie meanwhile was effusive about how grateful she is to be back in the competition and to show a different side of herself. And since she is performing for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, I am rooting for her. She opened up about how her disease is slowly taking away her skills and while it sucks, she is proud of what she can do.
Talk backstage continued to be focused on the fact this final challenge is a fast track to the top four, which is what Shea spoke about with Ru and Michelle and how ready she is to fight. And since her song will be Luther Vandross does Janet Jackson for the Period Poverty Project, I look forward to her winning out this week. After Raja finished smoking Jinkx’s hair backstage, she dropped by to kiki with Ru and Michelle, admitting she still has her Season 3 tic tac at home. She then opened up about that while she grew up in a religious household, her family loved her and she appreciates the values they instilled in her. She then shared that she would be doing a traditional Balinese dance for the Trans Equality project. And best believe, it is her farewell performance. Because she is too tired to do the competition again.
Jinkx was up next talking about how she came in with an absolute fire and ready to make Ru proud. Which he shared that he was, and always wanted to see her shine as bright as she can. Jinkx opened up about how her sobriety has made her such a lighter, happier person with Ru opening up about her own sobriety too and how it had a similar impact on her mental health. Oh and Jinkx would be performing an original song for the Black Visions Collective. Jaida was her usual brand of adorable charm, opening up about letting go for her second round and just having fun. Which led to her learning, growing and loving herself and ugh, I love Jaida so damn much. Even more so after learning Free Black Therapy is her charity.
Runway Day arrived with everyone focused as they split up to prepare for a guaranteed shot at the top four. Raja by doing yoga, Trinity by running scales and getting energised, while The Viv was just excited to see everyone turn a killer show. Shea meanwhile was focused solely on the win and leapfrogging her way to the top four. While Monet was just terrified about bombing and looking a fool. Because opera is a very big swing. Yvie meanwhile pointed out that there is a possibility for a tie if two queens with two or less stars win, with everyone speculating how they would break it. Trinity opened up about feeling this is the best contest she’s ever been in, with Monet suggesting it is because there is no pressure because she was never going to win.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the panel by Hannah Einbinder as Trinity opened the show with a tonne of energy and all the charm. More importantly, she had four dancers without shirts on. Which was hot. Yvie was delivered in a chest before she gave full Yvie and was so damn fun. And acrobatic. Jaida was fierce as hell and looked absolutely perfect as she dropped all the beats. Which really shows how uncool I am. I mean, beats? But whatever, Jaida was amazing. Jinx was a star belting a confident, camp number about her growth between her seasons and well, it kinda felt like a victory lap because she is ready for that second crown.
Oh and she deepthroated the microphone.
Shea then came on stage and was perfection from start to finish, looking and sounding like an absolute popstar, complete with wind blown hair and well, this is why she is an icon. And why she is making it to the top four, as no one is topping this. Wait, no, Raja was fucking iconic and stunning, giving culture and heart. It was frenetic, hypnotic and like Raja, it was beautiful, warm and perfect. Did I mention I love Raja? Because, duh. The Vivienne gave an 80s-90s pop diva in her song, thankfully keeping her back-up dancers shirtless and well, it was stunning. And proving me wrong again, Monet came and did that and then some. Topping Shea’s performance, inspiring Ru to get the Opera glasses out and not missing a damn note as she emoted all through the opera as Hannah Einbinder and The Vivienne held back tears.
The judges loved how much fun Trinity had in the talent show, lived for Jinkx owning her power and stealing the moment and were gagged by Yvie’s fake-out opening and for thinking outside of the box. That she jumped out of. She then broke down, grateful to be back and do a farewell tour, sharing skills that she will soon lose. They praised The Vivienne for being so damn fierce and shining bright, while Shea received all the damn praise. All of it. Every thing she did this week, they loved every moment of it. With Hannah in particular speechless. Everyone was so grateful for Raja sharing so much of herself in the performance and were drawn in by her innate charm and beauty. She then broke down about how her dad’s favourite story to tell was about Raja running away at an airport and finding her performing this dance to a crowd.
Oh and she wants Indonesian Tourism to sponsor her.
Then, obviously, Monet also received all the praise and honestly, I’m not sure who is going to win this week. Because they also loved Jaida’s upbeat energy and how much of a star she is every time she is on stage.
Backstage the dolls were so proud of themselves for doing all that, Monet, Shea and Raja in particular. While Jinkx was just glad to not really have to worry about winning and to be able to just have fun. Trinity meanwhile was just proud to be entering Untucked fully clothed. Talk turned to who would be in the top with everyone agreeing Monet is definitely the top, with the second spot up for grabs. The Vivienne told her that the power of her voice literally brought her to tears, while Raja offered to buy everyone’s singles when they came out. Which is just adorable aunty.
Talk turned to Shea’s Janet level performance, with Trinity pointing out that while she only had one star before this week, she truly has slayed the entire competition and deserves her spot in the finale, should she have booked it. Oh and Shea just wanted to know what Jinkx singing while deepthroating feels like. When, you know. Everyone spoke about how emotional they felt on the MainStage, proud of everything they did and how close they’ve all gotten.
Then Hannah Einbinder arrived looking stunning and getting lavished in praise by the dolls. Which is exactly what she did to them too, wishing she could pay them all to have watched the. Which Raja was happy to oblige.
Ultimately it was Monet and Shea that landed in the top, booking their place in the top four opposite Jinkx. And well, since Monet now has the most stars, she would have to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And well, poor Jaida could see it coming a mile away as she put on a brave face before Monet gave Trinity the final place in the top four. Which is what she deserves, given she has four wins to Jaida’s two.
But don’t worry, because the bottom four would also have a chance for, well, Ru will reveal that in due course. Because there is a lip sync to be had, damnit!
Both the dolls demolished the singing budgie, our Kylie’s – who coincidentally is returning for the Neighbours finale tonight – Supernova. They both hit every lyric, were sexy and sensual and at points, completely in sync with each other. Monet was splitting, Shea was voguing and well, it was good. Standing ovation from their sisters, kinda good. Ultimately though it was Shea that jagged the ultimate cash prize for her charity before Ru gagged them all by giving each of their charities $10K, so everyone’s a winner I guess.
Particularly because the bottom four will also be competing in a lip sync smackdown of their own, for the title of Queen of She’s Already Done Had Herses and a cash prize of $49K. Wait, no, Michelle upped it to $50K with her titty cash.
As the shocked dolls exited backstage, I yanked Trinity out of Monet’s arms for our second last visit of the season. In what feels like a broken record, every season I feel like I won’t be rooting for Trinity. And every season, the first episode happens and her charm and talent shines through, and I have no choice but to stan. And honestly, third-appearance-Trinity is her best iteration – she was joyous, iconic, polished and oh so talented, that I couldn’t be happier for her competing for the crown a third time.
Anyway, I yanked her out of Monet’s arms and gave her a massive hug, congratulating her for another killer run. And for doing it with kindness and compassion for her fellow sisters. Which is reason enough alone for a Dulce de Leche Terrinity the Tuck.
I know, I know – it is another terrine for Trinity’s recipe collection! But this is a dessert one, so I feel like I should be given a pass. Sweet and salty, with a beautiful biscuit crunch, this is a quick and easy dessert which looks so, so decadent.
Method I want to say this is a super easy recipe, but that is assuming you’ve already whipped up the Vanilla Ice and Nick Lachey recipes. Or, you know, bought ice cream and dulce de leche.
Assuming that is all done, line a loaf tin with cling film and sprinkle half the crumbled biscuits along the base. Gently spoon in ⅔ of the ice cream to cover the crumbs. Blob in the dulce de leche, followed by the rest of the ice cream. Using a skewer, swirl the caramel through the loaf to give you a marbled texture throughout the terrine. Sprinkle the rest of the crumb over the top, cover with some cling and transfer to the freezer to set for a couple of hours.
When you want to devour it, remove from the freezer for ten minutes, then carve into slabs. And then devour.
Previously on Canada’s Drag Race twelve new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to battle it out for a crown. And TBH, our hearts. Barely able to catch their breath, the dolls walked a street style fashion show. Before they had to turn their street clothes into catwalk chic for their mainstage debut. And again, so chic, Jamie. While most of the girls were quite strong, it was Lady Boom Boom who stormed the challenge to her first victory while Miss Moço and Halal Bae landed in the bottom. And after a hard fought lip sync, my zaddy Halal Bae found herself becoming the first boot.
And just like that, my basement started to drain.
Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Halal, none more so than her baby Bombae, who was now ready to fight for their family name. As was Miss Moço, who doesn’t want to land in the bottom again ever again. Or leave her fellow Toronto queen Jada with only Fiercalicious for company. Everyone congratulated Lady Boom Boom on her victory, while Jada was more focused on the fact that Boom Boom sounds sexy and floods her basement. Which is relatable, but triggering, since Halal Bae is gone.
The next day the dolls were energetic and ready to slay a new challenge, with Irma wanting to show off her comedy chops. Kimmy meanwhile noticed a bag had been left in the Werk Room which was filled with hockey jerseys, making everyone super butch. Or something. Brad arrived to explain that the jerseys were for his new gay hockey team, but first, the dolls would need to design the team kit in the form of a 30 minute quick-drag mini-challenge. First up Jada looked a technicolour mess, Kaos was just wild, Fiercalicious was delightfully slutty, Chelazon looked at the end of her tether, Boom Boom looked absolutely stunning, Vivian was adorable, Bombae wandered aimlessly, Moço flashed her buns – a win in my eyes – Giselle looked like she had seen some shit while Irma Gerd was intense and Kimmy served sex. Not sexy, just sex.
Ultimately it was Chelazon Leroux that took out victory though. Brad then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be nominated for AND presenting at the Who-Knows Awards. And as the winner of the Mini Challenge, Chelazon had the power to partner everyone up. After picking Giselle for herself, she paired Fiercalicious with Kimmy, gave Jada and Moço their wish of being a duo and put Irma and Vivian together, leaving Bombae, Kaos and Lady Boom Boom as the final trio. The latter of which would be presenting Busiest Beaver Award. Jada and Moço were given Frostiest Queen, Nicest Caribooty would be given out by Chelazon and Giselle, Best All Dressed would be given by Kimmy and Fiercalicious, while the Lifetime Achievement in Delusion would be presented by Irma and Vivian.
After Brad exited the dolls split up to start working on their sets, with Bombae confident in their group setting the scene and slaying. Irma and Vivian meanwhile were giggling away and coming up with the stupidest jokes possible. Jada and Moço were confident to be working together, given they do it in their real lives and were planning to leave nerves at the door. On the flipside, Fiercalicious started to spiral, worried about whether her and Kimmy can even be funny, while Chelazon and Giselle were just vibing. But more importantly, Irma and Vivian were absolutely delightful.
As Fiercalicious and Kimmy grew more and more frustrated with each other, Brad returned to check in with the girls, with Boom Boom opening up about being worried about not being funny in English. Jada and Moço were thrilled by how much Brad was living for their script, Chelazon and Giselle appeared to be on the right track while Kimmy and Fiercalicious appeared to make him nervous. Obviously Irma and Vivian were adorbs, despite Brad cautioning them to not try too hard.
Elimination Day arrived with Kaos super nervous of the challenge, while Fiercalicious was unsure how she and Kimmy will be able to pull things together. Talk turned to everyone’s sense of humour, with Irma using humour to make friends from a young age while Bombae treated it as her lifejacket. Chelazon meanwhile opened up about humour being so important for Indigenous people, sharing that she is two spirit and sharing how laughter has helped her through the tough times. Kaos meanwhile wanted to open up about her own journey as an Indigenous person, though didn’t want it to come off as insincere, given she felt she presents too white. Which is honestly heartbreaking.
Oh and Fiercalicious continued to yell at Kimmy.
Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by rockstar Carole Pope on the judges panel as the Who-Knows Awards kicked off. And well, as soon as Kaos, Lady Boom Boom and Bombae arrived to give out the Busiest Beaver Award, they were super cute. Albeit a little formulaic. Well, until Kaos and Boom Boom started to read their sisters, then they slayed. Oh and Jada won, because the girls actually voted on these awards. Giselle and Chelazon were camp delights as Kaos took out Best Caribooty, Moço and Jada meanwhile bombed as Frostiest Queen was bequeathed to Chelazon before Kimmy stole the damn show – despite not sticking to Fiercalicious’ direction – giving Best All Dressed to Lady Boom Boom before Irma and Vivian were silly, stupid and so much fun as the Lifetime Achievement Award for Delusion went to Miss Fiercalicious.
On the Goddess of the Ancient World runway, Kaos was a white, winter warrior bride and well, it was hot. Bombae was perfect, giving full glamour, Boom Boom was a sexy little cupid, Moço was vampy – and a little nervous – as the goddess of the underworld while Jada was a sexy snake-fish golden dream. Chelazon was a stunning sky goddess in black, while Giselle was a floral, forest delight, Kimmy was perfection as an orange sun goddess, Fiercalicious was a mirrored, golden delight before Vivian gave black and golden Norse delight and Irma closed the show as a chaotic, rainbow fairy floss delight.
Bombae, Giselle, Boom Boom, Kaos and Vivian were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Moço was praised for looking so glamorous and giving all the emotion. Though she was read for filth for bombing the challenge and missing the mark. Jada too was read for the challenge, though they also loved her runway. Chelazon received praise for powering through the challenge and for having an absolutely perfect mug, though the judges were disappointed she didn’t give enough in the looks. Kimmy meanwhile received universal praise for all that she did, from the challenge to the runway. As did Fiercalicious, despite the fact they were not vibing before taking the stage. And while Irma started strong, the judges felt she got stuck in her head and started to fade while they felt her look didn’t scream chaotic like she had hoped.
The tops and bottoms joined the girls backstage with Fiercalicious excited to be in the top, before quickly trying to rub it in Chelazon’s face, given she was trying to be shady by pairing her with Kimmy. Which is not at all what she was doing. Irma was disappointed to be in the bottom while Jada pulled focused as she broke down over her landing in the bottom. While Moço was more nervous about having to lip sync against her sister.
Ultimately it was Kimmy that took out her first win of the season as Chelazon and Fiercalicious were sent to safety. Meanwhile besties Moço and Jada’s worst fears came to life as Irma was deemed safe and they had to lip sync against each other to High School Confidential by Rough Trade (and you know, Carole Pope). And while they both fought valiantly, Jada had all the fire and emotion and managed to narrowly save herself, sending her sweet sister Miss Moço out of the competition.
As poor Moço caught up with me backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her how talented she is. It felt like she was nervous in her short time on the show, though I reiterated that she is such a star, win or lose, and not to worry. Which quickly perked her back up. Though maybe that was, you know, the French Miss Moçoa we shared.
How does this differ from a regular hot chocolate? More chocolate and cream, essentially. But those two additions truly give you an other worldly experience. Velvety and rich, this is a decadent treat that is perfect for reminding people how talented they are.
French Miss Moçoa Serves: 2.
Ingredients 60g dark chocolate, chopped 45g milk chocolate, chopped 1 ¼ cups milk ½ cup double cream 2 tsp muscovado sugar, plus extra if needed ¼ tsp kosher salt
Method Pop everything in a small saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until the chocolate is melted and it is piping hot.
Previously on Drag Race France the dolls finally played Snatch Game and well, it was a pretty good show. Grande Damn, Soa, Paloma and Elips all had their characters down and had Nicky in stitches, with nary a rattlesnake noise to be heard. While Lolita clearly struggled, I still found her to be quite solid with only Kam and Bertha struggling. Ultimately La Grande Dame’s slay secured her first win of the season, while Kam and Bertha ended up lip syncing for their lives. Hilariously to stock music, given they didn’t have the rights to the song in Australia. While we couldn’t really tell how either girl went, Bertha fought her way out of the bottom while poor Kam exited the competition.
Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Kam but delighted to see she has left such a fun, cute message. With Kam going with a win under her belt, the dolls were shaken and well and truly realised that they are rapidly approaching the pointy end of the competition. The next day, however, the dolls were back to feeling their oats and living their best lives as they posed their way back into the Werk Room. Bertha opened up about how sucky it feels when you have to lip sync for your life, though she was glad to survive and ready to rise like a phoenix. While Soa was ready for Grande Dame to lip sync, now that she has a challenge win under her belt.
Nicky interrupted their kiki to announce that given they have worked so hard, they would each be able to nap for a minute … before ruining their bliss with a Mini Challenge where they would pair up star in a beauty parlour skit where they would be doing each other’s make up. While wearing wacky glasses, assuming nothing got lost in translation. Soa and Grand Dame were silly and wild, as Soa was aggressively put in a baby-hooker mug. Lolita gave Elips the sloppiest mug, though their segment kinda dragged before Paloma and Bertha were just oh so fun, despite Bertha finishing up looking like a granny-hooker. Though obviously it was Grande Dame and Soa who took out victory, since duh, Soa is charismatic as hell.
And given said victory gave them the chance to pick their groups in this week’s girl groups Maxi Challenge, it was the correct one to win. Soa selected Elips and Lolita to join her band, while Grande Dame went with Bertha and was left with Paloma. Who thankfully wasn’t upset, just ready to demolish writing their verses and performing their song Boom Boom live on the mainstage. Oh and they’ll be doing things UK Season 3 style, with one group getting a pop version and with the other ones rocking out.
After Nicky exited, the dolls sat down to listen to each version with the groups conveniently wanting different ones, making it super chill and very much not an All WinnersVivienne or Camden vs Bosco vibe. Soa, Elips and Lolita were ready to rock the rock, confident in Lolita’s ability to kill the choreography. Team Grande Dame meanwhile were going to be popping up consent, which instantly made the returned Nicky nervous about her making things fun. Meanwhile Team Soa announced they would be going by The Nails and were super confident with their plan to focus on their flaws and make fun of them.
Paloma, Grande Dame and Bertha – aka Les Soeurs Jacquettes – were first up to record with Mark Weld and zaddy Thoj. And once everyone got over how hot Thoj was, they made quick work of laying down their vocals. Well Paloma and Bertha did, as Grande Dame struggled to find her intro. Though when she did, it was perfect. While Elips was a little bit apprehensive when The Nails stepped behind the microphone, they all ended up knocking it out of the park as they got into their rock personas.
Jour d’elimination arrived with the dolls quickly splitting up to get ready for their girl band debuts before Soa admitted her dad didn’t know she did drag. Lolita opened up about how acceptance and support varies from family to family and she is lucky to have her family’s support, in drag and as someone living with HIV. She opened up to the girls about her status and how she has had to push through so many labels in her life though was grateful for them and her parents support. And then talk turned about how the gay community are generally more careful about HIV than the straights which is a timely reminder, given they have the highest rates of transmission now. So yeah, everyone needs to be sensible and take precautions, ya hear red cross?!
Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined on the judges panel by Shy’m and Yanis Marshall as Les Soeurs Jacquettes opened the show with their pop version of Boom Boom. And it was so much fun, despite barely being able to hear Paloma’s verse, as the trio looked to have the best time in all their bright glory. And nailing every move. The Nails’ rock version was moody, cohesive and a hell of a good time too, despite Elips feeling slightly out matched by her sisters.
On the La nuit des 1000 Mylène runway, Lolita was a moody, sexy vamp, dripping in blood and spreading the undetectable = untransmittable message. Elip was a chic delight – so chic, Jamie – in a chequered 80s suit, Grande Dame was stunning in a big, geometric gown, revealing a sexy nude illusion dress underneath. Soa brought the drama, looking beautiful in a red gown before revealing a skimpy white skirt and bandeau underneath. Paloma was beautiful in a shimmering golden gown before revealing a flowing, white Tawny Kitaen-esque gown. On and then Bertha closed the show looking gorgeous as an ancient warrior.
The judges felt like Bertha went into cosplay territory on the runway, though loved her performance. Despite Daphné finding her to be too reserved. They loved Paloma’s look too, though found her to be nervous in the performance. Grande Dame meanwhile received universal praise for both the runway – despite not giving Myène – and the performance, though she was reminded to follow direction better. The judges loved every single thing Soa served this week, as they did with Lolita. Particularly for her powerful message on the runway. Elips meanwhile was beloved on the runway, though read for being too reserved and nervous in the performance.
Backstage Bertha toasted everyone for nailing the challenge, though TBH they were all exhausted. Everyone agreed it was Soa’s challenge to lose and it was likely Elips and Paloma would be the two lip syncing. Soa admitted she was trying to make sure everyone shined in her team before Paloma opened up about being so lonely growing up.
We then quickly flipped back to the mainstage where the dolls were proven right, as Soa took out her second, very well deserved victory of the season before Elips and Paloma were told they would be lip syncing as Lolita, Bertha and Grande Dame were sent to safety. And once again, they couldn’t spring for the Australisian rights to the song and so the dolls two-stepped the Wagon Wheel Watusi until Nicky opted to send Elips home. But before we get to that, let’s focus on how much of a bop the royalty free song was. Truly Le-Gend-Aire!
As was Elips’ run on the show, she was super chill and composed as she made her way backstage. I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for how magnetic and polished she is as a performer. While she was one of the quieter personalities, there is no denying that Elips is an absolute star. One that is very worthy of being celebrated over a batch of Celippos.
Yes, these little copycats are nothing more than frozen juice. But when they taste like nostalgia and joy, how can you be disappointed? Sweet and fresh, these are the perfect way to fill a summer afternoon.
Celippos Serves: 6-8.
Ingredients 3 cups pineapple juice 3 cups raspberry juice
Method Freeze both juices for about half an hour, or until starting to firm but are by no means solid.
Blitz the first juice in a blender and pour into ice cream moulds (or sandwich bags, if you want to try for the calippo shape). Blitz the second juice in the blender and gently pour it in the mould, to have two distinct colours.
Transfer to the freezer and leave to set for a few hours. Then, devour.
Previously on Survivor South Africa with Tania gone, the target on Pinty’s back was briefly reduced. Though given she continued to upset people on her tribe, it quickly grew back bigger than ever. After Yontau lost another immunity challenge, it looked like the tribe were going to send her from the game. That is until Phil and Dino hatched a plan to blindside Tevin from the game for being too powerful. Oh and to make Pinty feel super loyal to them. They went person to person until they had enough numbers, leaving Seamus, Shona and Killarney on the outs as Tevin exited the game.
The next day Seamus was disappointed to find himself on the outs with his tribe, despite not really caring that his buddy Tevin left. To try and fix things, he approached Dino to clear the air and see why he was left out. Dino admitted to us that he never knew where he stood with Seamus, though he apologised to him and said they can work together moving forward. Phil meanwhile was thrilled by how everything went down, glad to have built trust with a majority AND have Pinty’s undying loyalty. Shona meanwhile was also feeling disappointed, worried that once again her tribe was underestimating her. Though she assured us it would be at their peril. And well, werk Queen Shona.
Over at Masu Dante was busy removing the symbols from the trees as they all anticipated a swap. He then moved over to Toni and assured her that he is always willing to work with her and come swap, he wants her to know he can be trusted.
The tribes met up with Nico for the next reward challenge where they were gagged to remain on their OG tribes. Anyway, one person would sit in a crate and be wheeled and carried through an obstacle course by the rest of the tribe before solving a puzzle at the end. First tribe to finish getting to spin a wheel to decide their reward. Despite a slower start, Dino’s untying – with burnt hands, no less – got Yontau out to an early lead. Finishing in a blow-out, despite a late-breaking burst from Meryl on Masu, as once again they struggled to work as a team. After spinning the wheel Yontau were less than thrilled to discover they won a bag of lentils. They were thrilled, however, to get the chance to invite two people from Masu to join them, who will also get a chance to spin the wheel. And just like that, Toni and Tejan locked in mac and cheese for them. Well Toni, but Tejan got to go for the trip too so let’s give him some credit.
Back at camp Marian, Dante and Steffi worried about how much shit Toni will talk about while on the reward. Palesa meanwhile was busy working her way back in with her tribemates, speculating who was the biggest threat on the other tribe, with Dante identifying Dino and boy was he laser focused on getting him out ASAP! Speaking of Dino, he and the Yontau tribe were joyously smashing their mac and cheese as Toni warned everyone about how threatening Dante is. Particularly for the men. And while she was running her mouth, poor Tejan just looked on, worried about how to navigate her mouth moving forward.
They returned to the Masu camp with Toni feeling the welcome was frosty and therefore chose to hold back sharing most of the information. And sadly for her, everyone knew it. As such, Shane went for a walk with Tejan, where he admitted how much information Toni gave the rival tribe and he was now willing to join the rest of the tribe to vote her out.
The next day Seamus was still busy making new friends to take control over at Yontau, doing some yoga with Killarney. While she wanted to work with Dino, Seamus suggested he was only wanting to protect the strong men to help him come merge. And while she was open to all plans, she ultimately just wanted to stick with the numbers until after the merge. Seamus then tried his luck with Shona where things went far more poorly, as she didn’t buy anything he was saying and as such, was ready to turn on him instead. Over at Masu, Steffi and Marian continued to bond, with Steffi going so far as to share the fact she found the hidden immunity idol.
Zaddy Nico made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would have to solve a puzzle to release a key, unlock a gate and climb through some obstacles before solving another, giant slide puzzle. While Masu generally struggles with the challenges where they have to work together, they managed to get out to an early lead. Well, until Yontau caught up at the final puzzle as Masu struggled to listen to one person. While Yontau started to pull ahead, Masu managed to get things together, overtake them and secure immunity once again.
Back at camp Shona quickly got to work scrambling, approaching Phil to float the idea of getting rid of Seamus before he could turn things on Dino. Killarney soon joined them and the trio locked in the vote, but Killarney was quite confused so it could get cooked like Cara before her. Seamus meanwhile was busy approaching Pinty about getting rid of Dino, worrying that a swap is imminent and not wanting to face off against him during a puzzle challenge. After locking in Pinty, he approached Thoriso to join what he felt was their final number. Thoriso meanwhile was not keen, immediately approaching Pinty about getting rid of Seamus too. Much to her absolute delight.
Unaware everyone else was already down to get rid of Seamus, Shona approached Dino to fill him in on everything that had been going on around camp. And while Dino had wanted to protect Seamus in the game, he was happy to pivot and turn on him instead. With him quickly looping in Felix, as he delighted in everyone working for him and essentially doing his dirty work. Oh and he was going to throw a vote on Killarney JIC Seamus had an idol.
At tribal council Shona spoke about the tribe generally being unified, despite being left out of the loop on the last vote. Phil agreed that while that will happen, the tribe collectively wanted to get as many people to merge and that is unwavering. Thoriso stopped Nico from pulling apart the argument, saying that unity is about sticking together in the face of differences and not a sign of any larger problem. Like a damn boss. Killarney explained how the votes have been based on a number of reasons, while Dino just wanted to play the game without being malicious and always wanted to be fun and friendly. While Seamus said it would be silly to trust everyone, though he was trying not to be paranoid and trust is all about taking a leap of faith. Which Felix agreed with.
With that the tribe voted and poor Seamus found he lept in the wrong direction, as the tribe banded together to boot him from the game. While Seamus spoke about the trauma of being voted out first in the Philippines, it forced him out of his shell and to address things that were bothering him. And that introspection, led to him being an absolute delight this go around and while I was sad to see him go so soon, I am proud about how he had grown. Which is word-for-word what I told him as we smashed Schmearus Holmes in Loser Lodge.
Yeah yeah, bagels and cream cheese are a match made in heaven. But if you really want to elevate your breakfast experience, a good schmear is where it’s at. And this one is glorious. Salty bacon, sweet shallots and a hint of paprika work together to start your day right.
Schmearus Holmes Serves: 1 person with a spoon, TBH.
Ingredients 100g bacon, diced 250g cream cheese, softened 4 spring onions, finely sliced 1 tsp paprika salt and pepper, taste
Method Place a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon for a few minutes, or until crisp. Remove and drain on a paper towel until cool.
Once chill, combine everything in a bowl – less salt, more pepper is my advise – or using the paddle attachment in a stand mixer if you’re feeling lazy. Transfer to a serving bowl and leave to chill for half an hour or so before schmearing on a bagel. Or devouring with a spoon. Because it is good.
Previously on Survivor South Africa after losing the first two immunity challenges, the Masu tribe were feeling deflated. But boy were they busy. Dante was trying to improve on his last game, playing out in front and keeping his options open, while Meryl, Steffi and Marian had formed a tight trio. Over at Yontau, Dino fell asleep and into the fire which was far from the most dramatic thing as Pinty and Tania continued to feud. At tribal council the tribe was split over who to get rid of, ultimately trusting in Pinty pulling her head in (or wanting a bigger target around), as Tania was booted from the game. Potentially due to the Survivor Pizza Curse.
Things were far more zen the next day as Seamus and Phil caught up, agreeing that Pinty is kind of out of control and Tania was correct about everything she said. Though Phil admitted that he kept Pinty for the sole purpose of using her abrasive behaviours as a shield. Speaking of Pinty, she caught up with Thoriso to put the target on Seamus instead, given he played the idol he found with Tevin, even though he clearly didn’t need to (ignoring the fact it expired that night and he also had first boot trauma). And while Thoriso agreed they were a dangerous duo, she felt that Tevin was a far bigger threat than Seamus and as such, he should be their priority.
Over at Masu Toni was still fuming over Dante taking control of the tribe, while Marian approached her to clear the air. Like a boss, she told her to never use her skin as a reason to boot her again, while Toni explained she was trying to give people a gentler reason to get rid of her. Which doesn’t make much sense, but hey, she accepted it. Marian realised that Toni was feeling like she had no room to play, given she had been backed into a corner, so she tried to make her feel heard and loved. And like she had options. And you know, stick with the Masu tribe come the surely-impending swap. Before both of them locked things in officially, knowing the pre-mergers will definitely be out for blood come the merge.
Palesa meanwhile was cosying up to Dante as they both assured each other that they were keen to work together and were glad they didn’t feel the need to talk constantly. Which was all a ruse as Palesa shared with us that she knows Dante is a massive threat and clearly working at dismantling everyone else’s options and as such, she was biding her time until she could start dismantling his, instead.
The tribes met up with Nico for the latest reward-immunity combo where they would face off one at a time, running down an alley opposite their rival and attempting to pull a trigger before them. First tribe to five winning immunity and a huge bounty of comfort items. And ingredients to make toasties. Steffi and Shona were first and while Shona boldly tried to tackle her, Steffi Steffi-ed and quickly scored the point. Meryl then destroyed Pinty, Tejan continued the streak over Seamus before Queen Palesa scored Masu’s fourth point over Queen Killarney. Dante then ran for the win against Felix, which he narrowly did. Much to the agony of Yontau.
Back at Masu the tribe were completely overjoyed, sitting around smashing their sandies and feeling like real people again. On and then Steffi found the hidden immunity idol while the tribe were in food comas, proving she learnt a lot from King Chappies in his short time on the island.
The mood, however, was far more sombre over Yontau, embarrassed by how badly they lost. Felix tried to give them a pep talk and encouraged everyone to believe in themselves since they have been excelling when they work together. Killarney meanwhile was nervous after she bombed her point, which proved to be a good read as Pinty approached Tevin to float the idea of voting her out. Which he was obviously keen to do. When she made the same pitch to Seamus, she was far less successful as he pointed out both of them also lost their points and as such, they shouldn’t target her for that. He then approached Tevin, Dino, Thoriso and Felix to float getting rid of Pinty instead. Given she is still abrasive. While they appeared to be making headway, Dino grew nervous, given it is obvious Tevin and Seamus are leading the tribe and given he is injured, he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself and instead would like to keep targets like Pinty around.
Thoriso too was feeling like Tevin was more of a problem, though knew she couldn’t be the one to float his name to Felix, Phil or Seamus. And what do you know, she is in luck as Phil approached Felix about prioritising getting rid of Tevin. Given Pinty will Pinty every day until she is gone. Speaking of which, she then caught up with Felix and opened up about how frustrated she is by Tevin and Seamus being out in front and as such, she wanted to get one of them out ASAP as she was feeling nervous about trusting the boys.
Killarney meanwhile was hanging out with the boys who told her that she is their pawn, though not to worry as they were planning to end Pinty’s reign of terror. As Tevin and Seamus were bonding with Shona over her being voted out on Day 9 on her first season, Phil noticed how tight their hold had gotten over the tribe. As such, he approached Dino and Felix to seriously work on flipping the vote on Tevin to continue dismantling the Philippines alliance. Tevin and Seamus meanwhile were successful in locking in their numbers with Shona, as Phil continued to work the boys and assure them that saving Pinty will only make her more and more loyal.
Oh and then Tevin found the hidden immunity idol.
Phil and Pinty finally caught up with Pinty herself pitching the idea of splitting up Tevin and Seamus, which obviously worked given that was his plan himself. She then filled in Thoriso on the change in plan, who was frankly thrilled. And lol, what do you know, Seamus was keen to do a Shona and stash a hidden immunity idol at tribal council for down the road. And well, I look forward to seeing the other person’s face when the first one to do the fake play steals their thunder. So. Many. Lols.
At tribal council Seamus admitted it was difficult to lose, though was confident they were the stronger, more cohesive team. Phil spoke about how disheartening it can be to lose, though was glad they were ready to keep pushing forward. Throiso reiterated that everyone working together is their collective goal, with Shona agreeing that they wanted to get as many of the tribe members as far as possible. Tevin agreed that was his strategy on the first go around and while it may be boring TV it works, despite the fact that it got him blindsided his first go around. Dino meanwhile wanted to keep his options open while Tevin focused on the unpredictability of the game.
Talk turned to Pinty being the star of the last tribal council, with her agreeing that she is still on the block this one though felt Killarney is more of a weakness for the tribe. This fired Killarney up, who called Pinty out for being a difficult personality to deal with and that nobody won their point and as such, her argument was moot. As Pinty tried to defend herself as the strongest woman, she threw Shona and Thoriso under the bus, leading to Pinty backpedalling and praising them for trying. Unlike Killarney. Who well and truly was over her pitch and encouraged everyone to ignore her scrambling for the desperation it is.
Nico bought up the potential of another idol being in play, with Seamus nervous about having to split votes so soon while Dino and Phil tried to distract and keep playing up the tribal unity. With that the tribe voted and they were anything but unified as the votes landed four a piece between Tevin and Pinty before the final vote blindsided Tevin from the game. With an idol in his pocket.
Despite the fact he experienced the same fate on his second go around, Tevin exited with his head held high and was proud of what he achieved. Which I guess is easier to deal with when you’re constantly targeted for being a threat. I guess. As he re-entered loser lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and told him how disappointed I was to see him go. And then got a little cheeky and pointed out that his exit really improves Toni’s standing in the game and as such, we should all be grateful. Though, maybe that was the Chocolate Biscottevin Naidu.
So crunchy you could chip a tooth, these biscotti are so damn tasty. Sweet and delicate chocolate, cooked to a perfect crisp with lightly toasted hazelnuts? Perfection. Perfection, I tell you!
Chocolate Biscottevin Naidu Serves: 8.
Ingredients 2 ¼ cups flour, plus extra for dusting ¼ cup good quality cocoa powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp kosher salt 325g chocolate, roughly chopped 5 eggs, 4 whole plus 1 separated 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 ½ cups raw caster sugar, plus extra for sprinkling 225g blanched hazelnuts, roughly chopped
Method Preheat the oven to 160C and line two baking sheets with baking paper or silpat.
Combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda, salt and half the chocolate in a food processor and blitz until combined and chocolate is in smaller chunks.
Meanwhile whisk the four eggs, vanilla and the raw caster sugar in a stand mixer on medium until it forms light, creamy ribbons. Trade in the paddle attachment and fold in the flour mixture, remaining chocolate and hazelnuts until just combined.
Transfer the dough to a floured surface – very floured – and split into four. Roll each portion into a log and place on the lined baking sheets. Whisk the remaining white and brush over each, followed by a generous sprinkle of sugar. Pop the logs in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until firm to touch. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for about half an hour.
Once they are cool enough to cut, transfer to a cutting board and slice into 1.5cm slices using a serrated knife. Line the biscotti flat on the lined baking sheets and return to the oven to cook for another 20 minutes. Remove when nice and crisp, and transfer to a wire rack to cool. Or just devour piping out, fresh from the oven. Because these are good.
Previously on Survivor South Africa the pre-merge returnees on Yontau managed to avoid the first tribal council. Sadly for them, it gave them plenty of time to create drama in the absence of scrambling. We had Pinty overeating and yelling at people, Tania righteously standing up to her bullying and most importantly, Thoriso lying about Tevin finding an idol. Though she was safe, given Tania kindly took the fall for her. After Yontau won immunity, Toni tried to rally the troops against Marian. Sadly for her, the threat of the Season 6 alliance loomed large and instead they blindsided Toni’s bestie PK.
Back at camp Tejan was disappointed to be on the wrong side of the numbers while Toni started to flip out on the alliance for making the wrong decision by voting out PK instead of her. This annoyed Dante who then yelled at her to calm down given she and PK being close is what put them in this position. She then pulled herself aside to try and calm down, with Meryl going to comfort her. Despite not really wanting to hear what was bothering Toni. They rejoined the tribe where Toni continued to talk about them making a bad decision before Marian spoke up and called her out for saying she is the weakest in the tribe, when she would actually describe Toni as such.
We then checked in with Yontau where Tevin was leading a discussion about where to sleep which obviously pissed off Pinty, given people now wanted to take her place by the fire when they spent the first few nights in the shelter. And well, everyone was kinda over her shit. Or maybe it is just me.
The next day we learnt Dino had fallen asleep and fell into the fire, burning his hands quite badly, though thankfully able to continue in the game. Though he will have to sit out some of the challenges. In non-burn related drama, Tania continued to complain about Pinty to Tevin and while he cautioned her to not let it bother her, otherwise she will be the one painting a target on her own back. And while she agreed that was the best move, she also worried she wouldn’t be able to stay quiet. Particularly since the rest of the tribe were also frustrated by Pinty’s attitude. Proven by the fact her allies Tevin and Seamus already questioned how long they’d be able to babysit her and keep her anger at bay.
Back at Masu things were slightly less dramatic as Toni and Dante apologised to each other, before they started a new argument and grew angrier and angrier. Toni exited camp in a rage, deciding that the best case was to swap ASAP and play at the bottom of a new tribe rather than deal with them anymore. On the flipside Meryl, Marian and Steffi hung out by the well, thrilled at their ability to play in the middle of the tribe and ready to go to the end together.
We finally checked in with my love Nico who returned for the latest immunity challenge where two people from each tribe would hold on to nets while the rest of their tribe would try and weigh down their rivals’ with sandbags. Dante and Steffi faced off against Thoriso and Felix as sack-holders, with the latter quickly becoming a target and dropping his bags first. This made Yontau turn their attention to Dante, who was loaded up while Steffi relaxed without a sandbag in her basket. As Dante struggled, Thoriso tried to stay zen and keep her tribe in the game. After Dante dropped, the girls battled it out as Thoriso edged closer and closer to the ground, eventually dropping and handing immunity to Masu.
The victors headed off to enjoy their breakfast reward, feeling nourished and energised. While they all tried to play it calm as they searched for an idol hidden at their table. Before throwing caution to the wind and openly hunting in front of each other. Sadly for them, it was pointless as everyone left empty handed.
Back at camp Yontau were on edge about their first tribal council, with Phil wanting to focus on keeping the tribe unified rather than strong. Which means Tania and Pinty are well and truly in trouble. Tevin pulled Tania aside to encourage her to clear the air with Pinty and lessen the target on her back, though given she wasn’t really interested in hearing what Tevin had to say, it could spell trouble for Tania. That being said she did try to talk to Pinty to apologise, while Pinty straight up ran away to leave Tania to further spiral in front of the tribe.
Felix admitted that he sees Pinty is quite the bully and is making camp difficult for everyone else, while Pinty tried to suggest Tania was making decisions based on her unstable emotions. Which is not cool. Everyone in the tribe quietly admitted both of them are causing chaos, though given they haven’t been to tribal council yet, the uncertainty of tribal lines made them nervous about which person was the safer option to take out.
The next day Tania was ready to fight and save herself by shutting up, while Killarney, Shona and Thoriso worried about her unpredictability. Right on cue Tania hid in the bushes behind them as they locked in the vote against her, but agreed they couldn’t be bothered dealing with the fallout of telling her. Not to worry though, as she then followed them back to camp and immediately didn’t shut up, calling them out for not having courage and tried to tell them that that will be what costs them the game. Rather than say approaching them with a counter plan.
Thoriso caught up with Seamus to fill him in on Tania’s latest chaotic moves, while Shona quietly put finishing touches on a fake hidden immunity idol which she planned to leave at tribal council for future use, should she need it. Seamus then caught up with Pinty, talking about the fact they were both the first boots from their tribe in their season, with Pinty trying to snatch the idol away from him to guarantee her safety. Meanwhile, out of nowhere, Phil and Felix started to float the idea of flipping the vote on Seamus instead. Oh and Tevin calmly watched on leaving Tania one final chance to flip the vote on Pinty, in which case he would gladly flip to get rid of her too.
At tribal council Tevin spoke about not loving being back at tribal council, particularly since nobody in their tribe has had the pleasure of enjoying the individual game. He spoke about Seamus having the idol and being glad he is guaranteed to survive a tribal council. Dino spoke about the obvious drama back at camp, identifying Tania as the biggest problem. This gave her the chance to throw Pinty under the bus, talking about how Pinty’s attitude is causing most of the drama. Pinty fought back, saying that Tania called her a greedy fucking pig, which was untrue due to the addition of fuck. As Tania remained calm, Pinty continued to fight back and was pretty harsh to poor Tania, which was really uncute.
Tania spoke about it needing to be either her or Pinty that goes home tonight, given their tension is an issue. And since most of the tribe walks around Pinty on eggshells, she thinks it should be her. Pinty continued to get super sassy as Tania made a last ditch plea, reminding people that one vote could mean everything in this game. Sadly though, it was all for nought, as Seamus played the idol on himself and the tribe banded together to get rid of Tania. Presumably to keep Pinty’s attitude around as an easy target for a swap. I assume.
As Tania arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that she can exit the game with her head held high as once again, she stuck to her morals. And well, I can totally relate to not being able to hold my tongue when someone is being a jerk. I then had to admit something to her. Something tragic, which explains why the tribe opted to keep Pinty over Tania – the damn pizza curse. Despite loving Tania, I thought maybe someone iconic like her would be able to overcome it, but alas, instead, I cursed her game with my Tandooria Chickeland Pizza.
Hot and spicy, with a healthy slathering of raita, this little fusion is near perfection. Add in some chilli and sweet capsicum, and well, it is as wonderful as my love Tania.
Tandooria Chickeland Pizza Serves: 2-4 dear friends, or Pinty.
Ingredients 2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor ⅓ cup passata oregano and basil, roughly chopped, to taste 4 tbsp tandoori paste 1 cup natural yoghurt 500g chicken breast, diced 1 tbsp olive oil 1 red onion, sliced 1 red capsicum, sliced mozzarella, to taste 2 tsp mint, roughly chopped ½ tsp chilli flakes 1 lebanese cucumber, seeded and grated salt and pepper, to taste
Method Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.
Combine the tandoori paste, two tablespoons of the yoghurt and chicken in a bowl, tossing to coat and leaving to marinate for 15 minutes. Once done, heat a lug of olive oil in a frying pan and cook the chicken until crisp and gorgeous.
Smear passata over the prepared bases, sprinkle of the herbs, onion, capsium and chicken, followed by a generous dose of mozzarella. Transfer to the oven and bake for fifteen minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
While that is getting all hot, combine the yoghurt, mint, chilli flakes, cucumber and a good whack of salt and pepper.
Once the pizza is ready, drizzle with the raita and devour, greedily. Though not like a greedy little pig.
Previously on All Winners the dolls were challenged with creating viral TikTok dances to sell their brand. Before that star-rich Trinity joked about wanting another star to poor single-starred Shea and Monet. While the last girl without being blocked Raja just desperately wanted to join the club. While everyone was strong in selling themselves and their brand, it was Jinkx with the least dance moves that stole the show as she hilariously made a sandwich. After following Ru’sMonet shone brightly, while Yvie gave moves that will totally be going viral. And obviously Raja was an icon. Because she is. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Monet that landed in the top before they slayed the iconic spoken word lip sync from Designing Women. Monet’s usual schtick was enough to snatch the win over her sister before she gladly blocked an equally happy Raja.
Backstage the dolls were living their best lives, none more so than Monet who was just excited to finally have another star. And ever the competitive optimist, now she was looking to finish with the most. The Viv was proud of her sisters for serving spoken word, with Trinity more jealous that she couldn’t participate rather than not jagging a win. Talk turned to how Raja would take the fact there is no plunger secret, which obviously cued her entry. And damn was she hilarious as she entered pissed, frustrated and so cute as she called them all cunts. I feel like a broken record, but the moment was iconic. Trinity then pointed out that Jinkx and Jaida are now in front with three stars each before congratulating Jinkx on winning 4 mother tucking challenges. Shea and Monet meanwhile were talking about their uphill battle to make it to the end before Jinkx sweetly dropped by and told them that if anyone could win the last two challenges and make it, it is Shea.
And Monet, which obviously made Shea feel less special.
The next day Kennedy Davenport hijacked Rumail to announce that the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors nominees were about to be named. Which was all explained when Ru arrived, as for this week’s Maxi Challenge they were all tasked with roasting their fellow nominees – or sisters – in honour of the iconic Kennedy Davenport. In front of Ronan Farrow, no less. More importantly, the order would be decided by fate as the pit crew arrived for a little mini challenge where the queens would have to pop a balloon against one of the zaddies bums. With the colour of the confetti in their balloon deciding their position. In the challenge, obviously.
Jaida topped her way to 7th place, Trinity thrust into 5th, Jinkx struggled her way into 4th – insert they’re all bottoms joke here – Monet quickly fucked into 6th, Yvie jagged 2nd, Shea busted into 3rd, while Raja brought sexy back before dominating her man into first. Leaving The Viv to close the show without even needing to pop her cherry. Though bless, she was still allowed.
After everyone had a cigarette and calmed down, they split up to work on their sets with Jinkx confident to be playing within her wheelhouse. Though kindly asked her sisters if there was anything off limits she should avoid. Jinkx admitted she was struggling to write for The Viv, while The Viv was more concerned about her jokes getting lost in translation. Shea, Trinity, Yvie and Jaida caught up, with Shea scared about getting enough stars by the finale, while Jaida and Yvie were terrified about popping their roast cherries. Though Yvie was ready to do her best. Jinkx and Monet joined the fray, with the latter reminding everyone she won the All Stars roast. And that Trinity lost. Badly. She meanwhile was nervous about overcoming one of her weaknesses, with Jinkx offering to pay her back for her design challenge kindnesses and help her out in any way possible.
Shea was first to run through her set with Ross and Solomon Georgio and was so damn charming. While Jaida just tried to flatter her way through it all, Monet was in her element, Raja was cruel and totally silly and I love it. The Vivienne unwisely looked to be reading Ru, while Jinkx was having the time of her life. Trinity slowly started to get out of her head and power through the nerves, while Yvie was just being Yvie. In the highest of all compliments.
Performance Day arrived as everyone split up to beat their mugs, with Yvie ready to be read though unsure what people will be able to find to say about her. Monet meanwhile wanted everyone to go in on her, hard, while Shea was just terrified given if she doesn’t win this challenge, it is highly unlikely she has a path to get to the end. Monet and Trinity meanwhile pulled themselves aside to strategise who to block and while they thought they were being super subtle, everyone knew what was up. And well, Jinkx was thrilled to call them out about it. Again. Raja and Yvie meanwhile wanted to catch their way up, while Jinkx grew panicked about potentially being blocked tonight, given it could cost her making it to the end. And she really wants to beat her competition bestie Monet in the end.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Ronan Farrow on the judges panel as the dolls made their way to the stage to open the Kennedy Davenport Center Honors Hall of Shade. Where icon Peppermint’s daughter Wintergreen gave the introductory address, a monologue delivered by Kennedy herself during her runs on the show. Which was everything. Raja opened the show and as usual, she was absolutely delightful and living her best life, as she just straight up vibed. Yvie went low and was oh so good and Shea was stunning as she charmingly destroyed her sisters before Jinkx absolutely dominated from start to finish, weaving big dicks and incest into an epic set. I mean, that timing! Trinity meanwhile did a killer job with zinger after zinger before Monet read her for filth for it, and then eviscerated all of her sisters. And it was so damn good. Jaida was cute and charming, despite her nerves. Well, until she just started reading herself, then she was gold. Before The Viv closed the show in brutal fashion. And it was perfect.
On the All Glowed Up runway Raja was stunning as an iridescent butterfly, Yvie was perfection as an illuminated mushroom patch, Shea was a gorgeously shimmering sunflower and Jinkx was a gloriously burning witch and ugh, it was amazing. Trinity was a neon carnival delight, Monet served sexy solar system realness, Jaida was a beautiful mermaid, though after dark, before The Vivienne closed the show as a gorgeous rainbow angel.
Before critiquing the dolls, Ru announced that this week the rules would be changing and nobody would be getting blocked. Since they want everyone on a level playing field for the final challenge. More importantly, the judges lived for how mean Raja was in the roast and for looking architectural and stunning on the runway. Yvie received praise for sticking to her vibe and serving a gorgeous runway. Shea meanwhile received universal praise for her stunning runway and for bringing power to her roast. Jinkx was obviously universally beloved, even though the judges had epically high expectations for her. Oh and they lived for her concept on the runway. Trinity too was universally beloved, from the roast to the runway and well, this was redemption. The judges lived for everything Monet gave them in the roast and for serving something classy and creative on the runway. While Jaida was clearly nervous in the challenge, they lived for how she powered through but more importantly, they thought her runway was absolutely perfect. Oh and the obviously adored The Viv for being dominant in every facet of the week.
Backstage Trinity was thrilled to finally deliver in a roast on the show while Wintergreen straight up shot the show in drag. Until the girls convinced her to join them for a kiki, and encouraged her to take Wintergreen out on the road. Wintergreen in turn praised the girls for all that they do and how hard they work. Everyone donned their dressing gowns, grateful to be out of the runways given they were so uncomfortable. Yvie thanked everyone for being such killer artists and making them all better. Everyone praised Trinity for finally turning things around, while she pointed out that everyone is great. Particularly Shea, who didn’t even have notes. Shea in turn pointed out that while she is last place when it comes to stars, she has had such a fun journey with everyone that it doesn’t even matter to her.
Ronan Farrow then dropped by and well, I want his suit so badly. It was killer. As was Jinkx wanting to bone him. So badly.
Ultimately it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top before battling it out to Ava Max’s Kings & Queens. And well, Jinkx was a camp and poppy delight and it was oh so unexpected, I lived for every damn minute out it. Trinity was obviously on point with the comedy and all the lyrics, but there was no taking your eyes off Jinkx. I mean, she even did a damn cartwheel. Almost. Which proved to be enough to give her the ultimate win and net her another $10K.
Given how well she did in the challenge, it was kind of awkward to pull The Vivienne aside for some commiserations. Given she did THAT. That being said, she was disappointed to not land in the top, though the sight of her favourite scouser – me – made her feel so much better. I reminded her that like Raja, Shea and Monet before her, the number of wins and stars really don’t matter, given she has been so damn strong all season. I mean, the level of talent has been insane and The Vivienne has been the one to shine brightest. Which gave me the perfect excuse to reward her fire with equally fiery The Vivikorean Fire Pockets.
Another Brendan Pang number from Masterchef, these barely tweaked delights are the ultimate snack. Earthy, sweet and oh-so-spicy, they are the perfect snack for a cold rainy day or with an ice cold beer in the sweltering heat. So, like, whenever, I guess?
The Vivikorean Fire Pockets Serves: 4.
Ingredients 2 cups plain flour, plus extra for dusting 1 cup water salt, to taste 500g chicken mince 4 shallots, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp gochujang 1 tbsp light soy sauce 1 tsp rice wine vinegar 1 tsp ground white pepper 1 tsp Korean chilli flakes ½ tbsp minced ginger ½ tsp raw caster sugar ½ tsp sesame oil 1 cup grated vintage cheddar vegetable oil, for fryin’
Method Combine the flour and water in a bowl with a good pinch of salt, mixing with a fork until it has all come together. Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until nice and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.
Pop the chicken, shallots, garlic, gochujang, soy, vinegar, pepper, chilli, ginger, sugar and sesame oil in a larger bowl and scrunch with your hand until well combined.
Divide the dough into 8 portions and working one at a time, roll them out into a 20cm round. Place a couple of tablespoons of filling into the centre and top with a tablespoon of cheese. Working with your index finger and thumb, fold the dough towards the centre on top to enclose, pleating as you go until sealed. Place on a lined plate or baking sheet and repeat the process until done.
When it comes time to cook, heat a couple of tablespoons of the vegetable oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Once nice and hot, place half the pockets in, pleated side down, and cook for about five minutes, or until golden and crisp. Flip and repeat the process for another five minutes. Transfer to a lined plate and add a little extra cheese to gently melt over the pleats and repeat the process with the remaining pockets.
Then obviously, serve immediately with a drizzle of Korean chilli oil. Before devouring. Greedily.
Previously on Canada’s Drag Race Brooke Lynn Hytes has welcomed 24 dolls into her folk over two seasons, with Priyanka and Icesis joining the winner’s circle. Hilariously a club that Brooke herself has not even managed to join. Along the way, we’ve met some icons and while Lemon was the first to go in UK vs. The World, she will forever be in my heart thanks to her killer Snatch Game. And then, well, Jimbo is Jimbo and her bologna clown was amazing. So basically, stop sleeping on Canada and get into it for this new batch of stunning queens.
First up being the iconic Bombae who describes herself as a model club kid who is super chaotic and well, I live for her already. Kimmy Couture arrived looking snatched and ready to break the Asian curse, more importantly she is a trans icon and the daughter of current reigning Icesis. So she is prepared but also terrified. Chelazon Leroux joined the gang looking like a stoned version of Willow’s entrance look and I kinda live. Jada Shada Hudson arrived and called herself a throat goat, so she instantly became my favourite because she is the moment. And has such a good damn vibe. And hopefully can teach us anything we’re doing wrong with our throat games. Miss Moço gave a wig reveal for her entry, so obviously I live for that before Giselle Lullaby arrived looking like Ozzy Ostrich but giving Fabio out of drag. So now I live for her.
Kaos arrived dressed as an owl and well, did she inspire the promo theme because that is amazing? Miss Fiercalious entered serving tall Jorgeous and am I turning into Ru, because well, I love this little twink. Vivian Vanderpuss was next giving old Kendall Gender, ironically being younger than her. But who cares, because she is camp, charming and a total nerd daddy out of drag. Lady Boom Boom arrived stripping off to a cute comic book look and I love her too. Particularly since she joked about coming to the competition to learn English. Irma Gerd entered serving full on weirdo and I live for every single thing about here before Halal Bae arrived giving chest hair to round out the cast, exposed face and well, she is sickening. And so damn hot. Oh and she is also Bombae’s mother and hooked up with Jada in the past, so this will totally get interesting!
Brooke dropped by before I could complete my erotic fan fiction of Halal Bae and Jada, with Brad and Traci in tow for the trio to officially welcome everyone to the competition. And what better way to welcome them than a quick little sidewalk chic mini fashion show mini challenge. But more importantly, we learnt Trojan is the cash sponsor this season. Which. Is. Iconic.
First on the runway was Bombae looking stunning in a black and yellow puffer jacket, with a reveal to biker gear and buns underneath. Moço was a neon business woman, Kimmy was damn stunning in full black, complete with conical bra and beret. Jada was fierce in clashing colours and prints while Chelazon was boudoir street. Wait no, they were denim shorts. Giselle went with a shiny neon tracksuit, Kaos was a clash of plaids looking like ‘80s Cyndi Lauper while Fiercalious was so cute in red and white. While Vivian was delightful walking imaginary dogs in a colour palette straight out of Scooby Doo, Halal Bae gave sexy raccoon, before Irma Gerd was weird and delightful, giving Paddington goes fishing. Finally, Lady Boom Boom gave Bimini does Paris Hilton and I live. Ultimately though there can only be one winner, which rightly was deemed Bombae.
The judges then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to design a couture outfit fit for their MainStage debut, using the clothes on their backs. And well, that is a damn challenge. More importantly, the dolls then de-dragged with everyone horny for Kaos and Halal Bae and well, relatable.
After everyone was giving their natural face, the dolls split up to start working on their outfits with Halal knowing her daughter would slay, given she has a tonne of fabric and is the seamstress of the family. Boom Boom meanwhile shared that she studied fashion which obviously led to everyone dropping by for advice for the rest of the episode. Kaos meanwhile was confident in her ideas, though concerned about the execution. Fiercalious was being shady about Chelazon to Jada and Halal, ready for her to be the first to go home. Irma and Vivian meanwhile were bonding over being from small towns and being weirdos, and well, I love them and want them to get married immediately because they are the absolute sweetest. Chelazon and Bombae meanwhile were bonding about coming from conserative towns.
Halal meanwhile was busy wishing they could have just started from scratch while Fiercalious realised she has one of the weakest looks. On the other side of the room Kimmy was continually starting over, much to Vivian’s delight as Jada hoped to fake her way through the challenge, given she is super shit at sewing. Moço started to get in her head, as Kimmy chose not to give her advice as she commenced her spiral. Oh and then Miss Fiercalious irritated everyone with her attitude and constant need for help.
Elimination Day arrived with the nerves well and truly kicking in as the Toronto dolls bonded over their diversity and how they all arrived in Toronto for a new start. Jada then opened up about how she fled from Barbados after being outed. Bombae shared that she only just got her permanent recesidency days before the competition, while Halal shared that Egypt and Kuwait weren’t the safest places to be queer, so she considers herself Canadian first. But she will always rock body hair and a moustache in honour of her heritage.
Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by supermodel Monika Schnarre on the judges panel as Lady Boom Boom kicked off the Sidewalk to Catwalk runway, looking stunning in an architectural black and pink look. Kaos was stunning in spiky plaids, Jada gave Southern Belle straight out of Dynasty while Irma was perfection in an almost Vivian Westwood inspired look. Almost being the emphasis there. Kimmy was black swan beauty, Bombae wore a bouncing ballet gown, Moço was kinda a neon mess with a bunch of ruching down the sides. Chelzaon gave a black gown with cutouts and a message while Vivian served a stunning black gown. Halal turned her raccoon into a dominatrix, while Fiercalious was a wet hair babe, despite the dress being kind of a mess. Then Giselle stole the show in a shiny pink and chartreuse mod gown.
Ultimately Lady Boom Boom, Kaos, Jada Shade Hudson, Moço, Halal Bae and Fiercalious were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the other dolls went to untuck. The judges lived for how Lady Boom Boom turned her tracksuit into a stunning couture gown, completely transforming and elevating Juicy. Kaos was praised for clearly keeping the spirit of the first look but creating something so perfect and different. Jada too received universal praise, for the storytelling and giving such polish in the design. She then broke down, feeling like she proved herself and looks pretty, despite not being a strong sewer. Meanwhile Miss Moço was read for ruining her killer streetwear look with such an ill-fitting runway. And for clearly knowing the look wasn’t her best, with the judges reminding her to fake it when she isn’t confident. Halal was praised for being the moustache queen, though they wished her lip was a different colour despite going for raccoon. Oh and they just didn’t live for the look. While Fiercalious was praised for being perfectly beat, though read for not bringing enough of her streetwear look to the final garment.
Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to not be the first ones going home with them all agreeing Fiercalious needed the most help to get to the runway. Right on cue, she and the rest of the tops and bottoms joined them with Fiercalious admitting she will be in the bottom, despite looking pretty while Halal felt she was definitely in the bottom two. As was Moço, who shared she was the most hated. On the flip side, Jada was thrilled to be one of the Toronto girls making it to the top, particularly since she can not sew. While it was obvious Lady Boom Boom had the skills, Kaos was proud to be in the top given she was so confused. Talk turned to who should have been in the bottom instead with Bombae saying Halal should not have been in the bottom and while she didn’t want to name anyone else, outside of Fiercalious. Kimmy took the shade to the next level and asked Fiercalious how it feels to be the first one to go home before Chelazon softened things, reminding her to have fun lip syncing.
Ultimately it was Lady Boom Boom that took out the first win of the season as Jada and Kaos were sent to safety, alongside Fiercalious who was shocked AND gave an iconic crying fake out. As Moço and Halal Bae faced off to Bieber and my girl Nicky Minaj’s Beauty and a Beat, both of the dolls were ready to prove why they should stay. Moço hiked up her dress and looked infinitely better, hitting every lyric and serving face while Halal gave sex and madness and was so much fun. Though by the time Moço was somersaulting and cartwheeling, it was clear that she was not going anywhere as zaddy Halal Bae tragically sashayed away.
Straight into my arms, as I pulled him in for a strong, lingering, almost romantic hug. As we briefly separated, I gave him my usual spiel that being the first boot is just as memorable as iconic as making it to the end, so if she wasn’t going to win, this was the best place to finish. Plus, she is so sexy that the world will rally around her as a robbed goddess as we collectively lust after her. With that, she was perked up as I toasted her performance with Halall Baetters. Before cheering her up in other ways, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, lemon, lime and bitters – or LLB, thus the hybrid LL Bitters shoe horning – is super simple and easy to make, but that doesn’t take away from how damn good it is. Sweet with a tang, it is the second best thing I tasted that day. (Oh and its easily spiked with vodka for optimal delight).
Halall Baetters Serves: 2.
Ingredients 2 cups lemonade, chilled ¼ cup fresh lime juice, plus wedges for serving ½ tsp Angostura Bitters, plus extra for serving ice, to serve
Method Combine the lemonade, lime juice and bitters in a jug and stir until a consistent colour.
Divide the ice between two glasses, divide the LLB and then top with a few drops of bitters and lime to serve.
Previously on Drag Race France the dolls threw a little French Ball, serving hometowns and cliches before stomping the runway in a final look fit for the Cannes red carpet. Though made out of pool toys. While everyone kinda slayed the first two categories, it was Kam who rose above the pack and even shone in her designed look, serving glamour Nemo. At the other end of the pack, Briochée, Bertha and Soa kinda sucked. Ultimately though Bertha was given a reprieve, leaving Soa to solidify her place as the lip sync assassin of the season as she sent sweet Briochée home.
Backstage they were heartbroken to have lost Briochée while Soa made the dolls horny as she flashed her butt while cleaning the mirror message. Which was all we got for an aftermath meaning they either had nothing bad to say about Briochée, or we’re in for a big episode. The dolls Squid Game-d their way back into the Werk Room the next day with Soa disappointed to once again be in the bottom, though was proud to be deemed the lip sync assassin of the season. Everyone congratulated Kam on her win, while she was ready to finally intimidate the dolls as a winner.
Nicky interrupted the pleasantries to drop by and open the bibliotheque with the help of the zaddy Pit Crew for the première French reading challenge. First up was Big Bertha who absolutely eviscerated Paloma as looking like the critic from Ratatouille and Lolita as a pain. Kam meanwhile was a mess, Lolita was read while trying to read, Elips was surprisingly cutting and so damn good while La Grande Dame was amazing calling Lolita as an Oompa Loompa, which would hurt if it wasn’t so true. And then Nicky for not winning. Paloma then read Grande Dame for being a slut and Kam for being nipped and tucked before Soa charmed the hell out of me whether she was necessarily good or not. In any event, La Big Bertha took out victory.
But that was only the warm up, as has become habit, the dolls would need to back up their shade by participating in the ultimate Drag Race challenge – Snatch Game! As Nicky left the dolls split up to talk through their strategies with Grande Dame nervous about slaying the improvisation, while Soa was ready to be as wild as possible. Nicky returned to Kiki with the dolls with Paloma opening up that she will be playing Fanny Ardent or Roselyne Bachelot, which was Nicky’s choice for her. Kam meanwhile went with Mirielle Mathieu despite being cautioned she isn’t the funniest character while Lolita looked to be on a winner with Rossy de Palma. Elips would be playing Chantal Ladesou and despite being nervous, clearly has the voice locked down. Soa is going with the wild and underground Félindra, ready to return to the top. While Bertha was confident in her decision to play Jean-Pierre Coffe. Oh and Grande Dame is ready to slay as Alexandra Rosenfeld.
We quickly ventured to the Snatch Game set where Berengere Krief and Bilal Hassani joined the dolls with Soa immediately slaying, being stupid and fun. Grande Dame leant into all the beauty queen jokes, bouncing off Soa perfectly. Bertha meanwhile didn’t have the laughs translate over from the Werk Room. Lolita was charming, Kam looked perfect though quickly faded into the background. Paloma meanwhile was fun and breathy while Elips was hilarious despite me having no idea what was going on. While Soa, Grande Dame, Paloma and Elips went from strength to strength throughout the challenge, Bertha and Kam struggled more and more and well, it was hard to watch.
Jour de l’elimination arrived with everyone splitting up to beat their mugs, with Bertha and Lolita clearly petrified about landing in the bottom after struggling throughout Snatch Game. With Soa working overtime to try and give her a pep talk/reading her before Lolita opened up about feeling like she pushed all her sisters away and while it was hard to watch her breakdown, it was nice to see everyone rally around her to make sure she was okay. Proving emphatically that she isn’t isolated and truly is loved.
Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined by Bilal Hassani on the judges panel as the dolls stomped the Lendemain de soirée runway where Elips was stunning with a disco ball lodged in her head. Bertha gave glamour in a black pantsuit with a train of trash bags, Soa was sexy and street and ready to fight while Kam brought the bed back in a pink and red quilted gown. Grande Dame was stunning dressed as a used condom, complete with a cum wig like a damn icon. Paloma served tabloid princess, Lolita served balloon baby that got drunk at her kid’s party, complete with a drink in her wig.
Ultimately Elips was sent to safety before the judges praised Bertha for looking stunning on the runway, with her opening up she made the look last night as she felt her original one was too simple and she needed to prove herself after Snatch Game. Which the judges agreed just wasn’t fun. Soa was praised for everything she served this week, from the killer runway to her hilarious Snatch Game. Kam’s runway received universal praise for looking such a delight, while her Snatch Game was read for being such a bomb. Grande Dame received universal praise for being the sexiest condom of all time and for nailing Snatch Game AND having fun doing it. Paloma too received universal praise for all that she did, while Lolita was read for being lost in Snatch Game. Despite the judges loving her fun concept on the runway. Allowing her to open up to the judges and having them reiterate that she truly belongs.
The tops and bottoms joined Elips backstage where they all agreed Grand Dame would be taking out the win, though they weren’t sure who out of the bottoms would be lip syncing. Kam admitted she was disappointed she wasn’t funny, though this was the challenge she was most afraid of. As she broke down, she told them she was angry at herself for going from the top to the bottom. Bertha too was emotional, hating to have disappointed the judges but to also have to lip sync against one of her sisters.
Ultimately the dolls were right as Grande Dame took out her first win of the season while Soa and Paloma were sent to safety. At the other end of the pack, Lolita narrowly avoided the bottom as Bertha and Kam lip sync to a song that was banned in Australia which is a bit of a lol TBH. But either way, Bertha was doing the absolute most while Kam walked off stage for a baggy wig reveal. Though sadly, it wasn’t enough to save herself, as Bertha was saved and Kam joined the win to elim club, which is kinda iconic. As iconic as say, somebody not paying for the rights to the song for all regions.
As a heartbroken Kam ventured backstage, I quickly pulled her in and reminded her that not only is she a massive talent. The win-elim club seems like hella fun and if you can’t be a Porkchop girl, that is definitely the way to go. Plus, she will always be remembered for serving such a strong package in the ball and that is enough to be beloved. And to smash a vat of Blueberry Jam Hugh.
Like Kam, this little jam is a perfect little sweet number with a hidden layer of depth to it. In colour and juiciness from the blueberries. We’ve all fallen in love with raspberries and strawberries, though I implore you to give their blue sister a go. Because it is good.
Blueberry Jam Hugh Makes: 2 cups.
Ingredients 500g blueberries 2 cups raw caster sugar 6 tbsp fresh lemon juice
Method Combine everything in a large saucepan over medium heat and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low and cook, simmering for half an hour, stirring frequently. When the jam is starting to jell, you know it is done, otherwise keep on truckin’ for another 5-10 minutes.
Spoon the hot jam into sterilised jars and sealing, inverting for a couple of minutes before turning the right side up and leaving aside to cool completely.