Simonscow Meeule

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Nina told George that Hayley told her about his cash prize, setting the stage for her blindside at the hands of her runner-up. After Liz took out an epic overnight spa reward, she locked in a final three deal with her guests, George and Nina, which TBH, gives off big Russell, Parvati and Sandra energy, so I am all in on it. After Simon won yet another immunity, the tribe locked in the plan to blindside Hayley. Not to be outdone, Hayley meanwhile was rallying Simon to join her to blindside George. Sadly for her, Nina wasn’t on board with said plan which meant Queen Hayley was tragically felled from the competition. This time without exile in sight to save her.

The next day George, Matt, Gerry and Nina woke up to watch the sunrise together with George disappointed to have lost his biggest rival though he was confident in his chances to make it to the end. Since he has two final three deals, because that sort of behaviour never comes back to blindside you. Particularly when you eliminated the two other massive threats coming into the season. Simon meanwhile was still left right out, though bless, openly told the tribe that he has absolutely nothing to lose and as such, if people need a number, they need to pull him in before it is too late. He then admitted to us that he may have bumbled through the post-merge, but it has actually left him in a good position as everyone underestimates him which could give him a different narrative to pitch the jury.

After filling up on some coconut, he went to the shore to talk to Matt, telling him that they need to talk sooner rather than later if he wants to make a move on George. While Matt was quiet, Simon powered ahead and told him that he is nothing more than George’s pawn and it is very obvious that is what the jury thinks of him, so he will not win unless he does something. Which is 100% correct. As Simon gave Gerry the same pitch, Matt reported back to George and while the latter pretended it was not the case, he laughed to us in confessional that that is all Matt is. Simon returned to camp to openly call everyone pawns for just mindlessly following George. This annoyed Liz who told Simon his actions have left him on the bottom and that is why she will never work with him before storming off, telling him she can’t deal with him anymore.

Poor Matt meanwhile broke down in confessional, admitting Simon’s words had gotten to him because he truly believes what he is saying and that he doesn’t know how to prove himself in the game. We then got another little personal story of Matt being away from his pregnant wife and that while he is struggling, he wants to focus so he can win the money for his family. So maybe he is ready to make a move after all? Feeling hurt to have been left out of the Hayley blindside, Matt approached Gerry to float the fact he thinks George made a deal with Nina and Liz at the reward and as such, he is wary of them as a rival trio, given George has a history of turning on his allies before they can get him. Deciding Simon is his best shot, Matt pulled him and Nina aside to float the idea of working together at the next vote, hoping Simon isn’t immune so the tribe is distracted by him. With Matt just begging Simon not to screw him over and tell George.

Which is either exactly what happens, or we’re finally getting the blindside.

The tribe joined with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would have to stand on narrow pedestals and keep a hand on an idol with the last person standing winning.  So yeah, the iconic Hands on a Hard Idol challenge, but with individual stations. After 15 minutes JLP got bored and told them to move down to their narrowest pegs which instantly cost George his place, followed closely by Nina. The remaining four made it to 45 minutes before Jonathan made things even harder, making everyone spread across the two furthest apart pegs before Liz slipped out nowhere leaving Matt, Gerry and Simon to battle it out. After an hour and twenty minutes, Simon slipped off while stretching before the duo opted to go down to a single foot to speed up the challenge, ultimately costing Gerry and handing immunity to Matt.

Back at camp the tribe congratulated Matt on his win, barely able to contain their excitement to finally be able to get rid of Simon. He thankfully is a resilient king, asking the tribe if anyone wants to tell him where to put his vote, with George calmly telling him no. While he tried to talk to Matt, George pulled him and Gerry aside to try and keep things chaotic between his two alliances, locking in a split between Nina and Simon. George then dropped by the girls, telling Nina to put a single vote on Gerry just in case. Gloating to us about how making it a 2-2-1-1 vote will guarantee his safety, when in fact, it looks to have overcomplicated things. Simon and Matt finally caught up with the latter suggesting now would actually be the right time to blindside George and hot damn, is this about to get very exciting as George’s arrogance comes back to bite him?

While Matt was being genuine, poor Simon has grown wary of always being sold a decoy plan and as such, wanted to check in with Nina. Matt and George went idol hunting, giggling around as besties while Nina cautioned Simon about trusting Matt, floating the idea of instead targeting Gerry given they have all heard the plans to get rid of George before. And they have all been lies fed to them by his closest allies. George started to grow paranoid that something was afoot, so caught up with Nina and Matt with Nina accidentally talking about throwing a vote on Gerry. Which immediately made Matt concerned that George is telling everyone lies – he is – and more convinced than ever that he needs to take the shot at George.

At tribal council Matt spoke about how he laughed through the challenge, though admitted it was still painful. Simon meanwhile was terrified given he is no longer immune, with George pointing out that he is only still here because of his immunity, before cautioning everyone else that the end is in sight and everyone needs to focus on finding a clear path to make it to the end and not get distracted. Nina meanwhile wasn’t sure if she could trust what she has been told at this point, with Matt agreeing he isn’t sure what exactly to trust as Liz spoke about everyone flipping and getting antsy. Just as Nina and Simon whispered in the middle.

Gerry on the other hand was solid with his alliance and ready to ride things out, while Nina was worried about figuring out what her best choice was. While Matt just wanted to make the right choice for him moving forward, rather than someone else, as Simon laughed about not even having that luxury. Talk turned to resumes, with Nina pointing out that an extensive resume may help at the end, but it also makes you a massive threat to getting there. Simon started to whisper to Matt about flipping, while George whispered to Liz about being scared that they’ve lost Matt. He then went hard about it being unwise to throw away trust this late in the game, while Nina said that action is the only thing that matters at this point. George and Liz then spoke Russian – iconic – and flipped their votes on to Nina as Matt and Simon gave each other looks and Gerry was just left right out.

With that the tribe voted before Jonathan gagged them with the information that the two highest vote getters would not be voted out, instead going into Survivor isolation. Aka locked in a pen away from camp, only eating and drinking what people are willing to deliver them, unable to  communicate with anyone unless they visit and worst of all, unable to compete in the next immunity challenge and only should they survive the next vote, they return to camp as normal. Five votes then piled up on Nina with her solitary vote dooming Gerry to join him, meaning shit is about to hit the fan.

Back at camp Gerry and Nina made their way to – triggering language warning – iso, where Gerry questioned how she ended up with five votes, given that was not the plan. Nina obviously had no clue, outlining to Gerry that she was told to vote for him by George, as the plan was meant to be Simon, though Gerry was clearly a back-up. And while he doesn’t usually trust people talking smack about George, he believed Nina instantly and was ready to bring him down. Speaking of George, he was busy explaining how the vote switched to Nina and while Liz felt Gerry would be angry, Matt assured them they had nothing to worry about. Right on cue, it appeared he did have something to worry about as Nina continued to spill secrets to Gerry, outing the jacuzzi alliance. As the duo were talking in their cage, Simon dropped by to check in on them, wondering how in the hell he was still in the game. He pointed out that Gerry is clearly on the bottom and he needs to make a move, as George loitered in the trees eavesdropping. Just as Gerry ominously assured them that when you cross him, he will bounce you.

The next day George was rightly super rattled, so as the duo slept he dropped by isolation to deliver them a chair to sit on. After returning to camp he continued to spiral, with Liz very much warning him and Matt that they need to keep Gerry happy as Nina is scorned and has information that is powerful enough to flip the game. George returned to take credit for the chair as Matt and Liz joined him to make sure they actually kept him happy. George explained that he just got nervous at tribal council and thought Matt was going to be blindsiding Gerry, so flipped to save him. And while Gerry appeared to believe George’s lies, Nina rightly pointed out George was only saying things to get that exact reaction and as such, he needs to stop trusting and make a move against him. As all he cares about is winning. 

The remaining four dropped by JLP where they would have to stack blocks around a hanging table while rotating it to feed through a window, with the first to knock them all the way around like dominoes taking out immunity. Simon obviously got out to an early lead while Liz, Matt and George continuously dropped theirs. As he got further and further along, Simon began to slow allowing Matt to close the gap while George and Liz both discovered that they had placed theirs too closely. Simon and Matt also discovered they had spaced theirs too closely as they raced to spread them out further, before Matt knocked his over just ahead of Simon, snatching immunity by a literal second. As George assured Simon they would talk later.

Back at camp Nina was mentally preparing Gerry for the fact she is the plan and he just needs to convince them he is on board, with her working on Simon and Gerry responsible for getting Matt over the line to blindside George. As the other four returned, Simon was left alone as George, Matt and Liz locked in a plan to split the vote on Simon and Nina, assuring them that he would not get nervous and change his mind again. George looped in Simon, assuring him that Nina is the plan though admitted the split will be on him, with Simon happily locked in with George given he knows he really has no options at all. Or so he thought.

George dragged Matt to isolation to get Gerry on board with repeating the original plan from the last tribal council to get rid of Nina but split on Simon. Nina being a wise icon, after the duo departed, she pointed out that George made Matt do all the talking given the fact Gerry doesn’t exactly trust him. While Matt was busy back at the shelter warning George that something felt off, given Gerry was actively trying to protect Nina. Simon was next to drop by isolation, straight up floating the plan to get rid of George, while he in turn spiralled to Liz about the fact that he could cop three votes and should that happen, he will go home. Matt then dropped by with Gerry only keen to make a move if his bestie is on board and while it seemed like the vote against George might actually happen, Matt was still nervous about making a move. Knowing the tides were turning, George dropped by to assure Gerry that he is his number one ally and that after playing 90 days in a row, he is honestly at the point he is just happy to come third. And no Gerry, make a move, don’t fall for it.

At tribal council Gerry spoke about how he enjoyed bonding with Nina while in isolation while Nina agreed it was great to reflect on everything that has happened in the game and focus on what is really happening. Gerry meanwhile had George bricking it, talking about how long it takes to build trust but warning that it can be broken very quickly. George jumped in and told the narrative that he flipped the vote to Nina to try and save Gerry, rather than himself, while Simon just smiled about having once again narrowly avoided certain doom. Nina spoke about the fact George has been on edge all day, meaning the panic wasn’t an isolated incident. Which was only made worse when Matt said he was ready to make moves that benefit only his endgame.

Simon hilariously opened up about the fact he called three players left in the game pawns, telling everyone that way too many are playing for George’s win rather than their own. Before outlining said pawns were Gerry, Matt and Liz. He told them that now is one of the last moments to make a move ahead of final tribal council and given it is a life changing amount of money, they need to play to win. Sadly his plea angered Gerry, who explained that Gerry is not a pawn, instead George has acted as a coach and mentor and he is grateful to him for everything he has learnt in the game. While Nina hilariously whispered to Simon that Gerry is clearly not going to be voting for George.

With that the tribe voted piling up 3-3 on Nina and Simon before George finally got his wish on the revote, eliminating his nemesis Simon. Who was obviously an absolute delight, thanking his fellow competitors and praising them on a game well played. As he arrived at the Jury Villa, he was rightly applauded for carrying the season on his shoulders. I mean sure, he had to follow my screaming, heartbroken cries to find Jury Villa, but once he found it, I pulled him in for a massive hug – the kind he would climb Shaun to give – and thanked him for keeping us fed week after week. And by us, I mean the gays. His storyline was honestly iconic, starting out as the cocky alpha before being humbled and becoming a hilarious, happy and self-aware king who earned his place as one of the greats. So great, in fact, I felt bad I could only offer him a Simonscow Meeule to toast his success.

Like Simon, this spicy little number is an absolute delight. Packing the classic warmth and punch of a moscow mule, the addition of chilli adds just enough interest to keep us engaged (or enraged, from the heat).

Enjoy!

Simonscow Meeule
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ cup vodka
⅓ cup lime juice
2 cups ginger beer
ice, to serve
1 long red chilli, sliced on the diagonal
mint leaves, to serve

Method
Combine the vodka, lime juice and ginger beer in a jug and stir to combine.

Add some ice to four tumblers, followed by some chilli and mint before filling each glass with the gingery liquor. Then down and repeat as required until you accept you’re now an icon. Just like Shonee.


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Maddy Snowbilla

Drink, TV Recap, Survivor, TV, Survivor 44

Previously on Survivor three powerboats sped through the ocean off Fiji to deliver 18 new victims to our lord and saviour Jeffrey Probst. Emphasis on victims, as poor Bruce hit his head during the first challenge and proceeded to bleed litres of blood until the challenge was paused for medical. After giving him the all clear to continue in the game, the challenge continued and somehow his Tika tribe powered ahead. That is until Carolyn got stuck at the end and the other tribes overtook them, with Soka winning supplies outright. Ratu meanwhile selected to earn theirs using brawn, leaving TIka to get theirs via smarts. Later that night the tribe joyfully had fire and settled in before Bruce deteriorated to the point where medical returned and he was tragically pulled from the game with a concussion.

The next day Ratu were the final tribe to get fire as they quickly became grateful for Matthew, given he was so good at building their camp for them. He opened up about having a massive spirit of adventure and that he came out to prove to his husband and son that they can do anything and ugh, I love him. Sadly his sense of adventure led to him climbing a massive rock and promptly falling off, dislocating his shoulder in the process. And while he popped it back in, the medic was called to camp as he started to bleed everywhere from his foot, worrying his stupidity would cost him his place in the game. Thankfully though, the hardest working doctor cleared him to stay in the game though Matthew started to worry about whether he would even be able to compete in the upcoming challenge. Unaware that they will sadly be able to sit someone out.

Back at Tika Carson was quickly locking in an alliance with Sarah and Helen, which breaks my heart given Carolyn and Yam Yam are the absolute best casting choices in years. Carolyn meanwhile knew she was on the bottom, given nobody had spoken to her and as such, she approached Helen to say she didn’t want to follow anyone around to chase friends but she was interested to chat if she was. Before we got an epic supercut of her hilariously being loud and kooky.

A boat dropped by the camps where they learnt one person from each would be going on an adventure, with Yam Yam suggesting they pull sticks at Tika with Sarah getting lucky. Soka did the same, with Matt disappointed to rep his tribe while Lauren drew the black rock to seal her fate. Which she rigged in her favour, like an icon. While she was gone however, the tribe speculated what she would tell them when she came back before they agreed to hunt for the key in her absence, while Maddy speculated the cage may only be there to cause chaos. Thankfully though, Brandon quickly found the key in front of her and while he thought he was being stealth, she spotted him leaving him to admit he found it. Despite Brandon wanting to tell everyone, Maddy suggested they talk it out first and while she was hoping it would bond them, it made him distrustful of her, so he instead opened it in front of everyone and confirmed that the cage was home to both an idol and fake one.

Over at Journey Island, Lauren, Matt and Sarah introduced themselves before walking to the top of the where they learnt they would each split up on their own paths where they learnt they would have to pull an item out of a bag, two of which lose will cause them to lose their votes and the the third being an advantage. The trick being if they lose their vote on the first pull, they can pull a second one and try again, either jagging the advantage or losing twice. Sadly Sarah lost her vote at the next tribal council before jagging the new inheritance advantage, which is where she can collect every advantage played at a future tribal council. Matt too lost his vote on the first try, though sadly had bad luck on his second too, leaving him voteless for two rounds. On the flipside, Lauren jagged the advantage on her first try getting the new Bank Your Vote advantage meaning she can forgo voting at an upcoming tribal council and hold on to the parchment for a later date.

Matt was first to get back to his camp with him only admitting he lost one of his votes. Sarah meanwhile told the tribe she risked her vote but wasn’t sure if she gained an advantage yet, while Lauren told them what the advantage on the table was but pretended she didn’t have it.

The tribe joined with Probst for the first immunity challenge of the season where Ratu and Soka were heartbroken to see that Bruce had in fact been medevaced. Though Probst assured them that now that he is in hospital, he is doing much better and will make a full recovery. But back to the challenge, where the tribes would race out in a boat to a buoy, dive off and swim to release a chest and then pull it over a track to unlock a slide puzzle. And then solve said puzzle, with first and second place being immune and third tribe joining Probst at tribal council. Matthew and Claire took their places on the sitout bench before all tribes were neck and neck as they swam to release their chests. Soka started to pull out in front as Ratu and Tika got stuck on the shore.

Eventually everyone caught up at the puzzle, while on the benches Claire was inspired by Shonee and Liz in Australia, whispering to Matthew what the person told them about the island, outing Lauren as a liar in the process. Medical made their fourth appearance of the premiere as Brandon was pulled off the course to cool down and get fluids before the challenge restarted and Soka quickly pulled out victory before Tika narrowly saved themselves, sending Ratu to the first tribal council of the season.

Back at camp Brandon apologised for letting the tribe down, while Matthew in particular was frustrated to have injured himself and not help in the challenge. He took the information Claire gave him during the challenge back to Brandon and Kane, with them quickly locking in the vote against Lauren. Meanwhile she was chatting with Maddy who was busy talking shit about Brandon, pointing out he doesn’t have their back and can’t be trusted due to the idol. They approached Jamie about banding together to get rid of him instead and leave the women to take control. Sadly for them, Jamie was nervous about everything and as such, was considering playing her Shot in the Dark. Maddy pulled Kane aside and told them the girls were planning to target Brandon and while Kane wasn’t thrilled about losing his strength too soon, he also just wanted to be on the right side of the first vote.. 

Which TBH, seems like something nobody could even predict at this point, given they entire tribe are all over the shop.

At tribal council Jamie spoke about how tense everyone was while Matthew was concerned about which plan will come together, given so many names were thrown out. Brandon agreed that there was a lot of confusion back at camp, while Lauren was feeling tense despite having a few little allies to lean on. Jamie spoke about knowing about at least one advantage since Brandon found the idol in front of everyone, which Matthew pointed out was better than someone keeping secrets. Brandon reiterated that he didn’t know he was going for an idol when he unlocked the cage, while Kane was hopeful tribal council would give him a little clarity, while Maddy was hopeful they would just be stronger as a group. While Brandon agreed he was looking to get rid of a weaker link. Before voting Jamie spoke about the fact she will be playing her Shot in the Dark, given her vote shouldn’t even matter tonight. Which immediately spooked Brandon. 

With that the tribe voted, well, at least some of them, as Lauren banked her vote and Matthew joined Jamie in playing his Shot in the Dark. The latter of which became the first to actually be played correctly. Given the chaos, Brandon then played his idol which negated two of the three that were cast, sending Maddy out of the game with only a single vote.

As she arrived at Loser Lodge Maddy was obviously bummed to be out of the game so soon, though I reminded her that going out on a tribal council of firsts is alway memorable. And as such, she is now robbed and we queer folk will rally behind her right to play again and dominate. Similar to how Wentworth became a thing, I guess. While it wasn’t my best pep talk, she cheered up know an entire community would now be behind her as I toasted her hopeful return with a Maddy Snowbilla.

While on paper a snowball always seemed a little yuck, after taking the plunge – because alcohol is alcohol, ok? – I quickly fell in love. Sweet with a quick of tart, it is the perfect way to refresh your spirit on a cool evening.

Enjoy!

Maddy Snowbilla
Serves: 1 robbed icon.

Ingredients
ice
1 tbsp lime juice, plus lime wedges to garnish
¼ cup advocaat
½ cup lemonade

Method
Fill an old fashioned or highball glass with ice, followed by the lime juice, advocaat and then the lemonade.

Stir gently, top with a lime wedge and down. Repeat as desired.


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Cranbura Maygarita

Drink, TV Recap, RuPaul's Drag Race, TV, RuPaul's Drag Race 15

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the girls were tasked with forming a trio of girl groups. But once again, there was a twist on the classic challenge, as this time they were Golden Girl Groups. Each band would tackle a different genre, which of course led to an epic argument between two teams who both felt metal would be the funniest with their old make-up. Which meant Mistress and Luxx got into an epic fight with Malaysia (and kinda Sasha), before rock paper scissors handed metal to the latter team, leading to a breakout moment from Aura who won the challenge. Meanwhile the peaceful R&B team were far and away the weakest, leading to Jax and Robin landing in the bottom with our hair-skipping icon slaying the lip sync and sending sweet Robin out the door.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost sweet Robin, before talk turned to the challenge with Mistress admitting to being shocked that her entire team was not in the top. Being a messy icon, she mentioned that someone told her that Malaysia was heated in Untucked about what happened when they fought over genres. Malaysia stayed quiet and simply said that she said what she said, while Mistress admitted that she didn’t exactly realise they were being serious, which is why she was laughing not because she disrespects her. While Sasha and her talked it out, Malaysia continued to sulk in the corner, refusing to engage with Mistress once again laughing, which only made Malaysia even more angry. And well, the dolls are fighting.

The next day the tensions appeared to have dissipated and instead everyone was just now awkward, while Mistress just continued to smirk like an icon. Before she and Malaysia could get into it again, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be starring in the reboot of the Daytona Wind. And while I love that for them, I don’t know how fun it will be if they know the farts are coming. Oh and this time, it will be a sitcom AND since Aura won the last challenge, she would cast the whole damn thing.

The lead character of Fancy was a big bold role, and as such, everyone put their hand up for it until Aura said she wanted it given she has never been campy. And Anetra? Well, she just wanted metal. Because she is a chill icon. Thankfully everyone followed her lead and gladly took the rest of the roles and split up to read through their scripts, with Mistress and Malaysia soon learning that they would be scene partners for most of the damn. Though given they are both strong actresses it should be fine, particularly since Aura was clearly struggling with Fancy. To the point where Mistress wisely pointed out it was a bomb and offered to switch out for the big, starring role. Like a shrewd icon.

The dolls met up with Ru on set where Loosey was a star from start to finish, Spice was hilariously ridiculous – so, Spice – while Malaysia lived for slamming doors in Mistress’ face, while she absolutely ate. Though to be fair, so did Mistress. Jax meanwhile was at a 7, which allowed Mistress to add some killer ad libs as she and Malaysia bounced off each other perfectly. Aura meanwhile was just, not good, while Big Daddy gagged the girls with the fact he is alive. But sadly, we don’t know who is playing him. Yet. But it definitely does not sound like Carson.

Elimination Day arrived with Malaysia and Mistress coming together to clear the air as they beat their mugs. As everyone obviously watched on out of the corners of their eyes. But it all ended well as they copped to what they did wrong, apologising and well, it was lovely and I love that for them. 

Ru, Michelle and Carson took their places on the judges panel alongside our favourite familiar, Harvey Guillen as Loosey kicked off the Puffer Please runway looking like a sexy marshmallow. Spice gave snow bimbo, Sasha oozed sex in yellow and black stripes, Luxx gave Jackie O does the Jetsons, Malaysia was a gorgeous lemon, Aura was perfection in a kimono while Jax was a glorious bee. Mistress was a sexy beach puff, Anetra was the sluttiest bird while Marcia was hilariously frostbitten in a puffer bikini while Salina looked glorious, yet very Salina.

When it came to The Daytona Wind Loosey was hilarious and perfect as the maid, Spice was Spice, Sasha and Luxx made a glorious couple, while Malaysia knocked it out of the park andMistress was perfection from start to finish. And well, they bounced off each other so well. Marcia was so much fun as a nerd as Anetra gave perfect timing, while Salina was gloriously camp. At the other end of the pack, Jax and Aura were kinda just there or worse, boring. More importantly, Danny mother tucking Trejo played the very undead Big Daddy and ugh, it was perfection.

Loosey, Sasha, Luxx and Salina were sent to safety before Spice was read for being one note in the performance and for always doing the same thing on the runway. Since it is boring Michelle. Malaysia received universal praise for her performance and looking gorgeous on the runway. Aura was praised for her runway though was obviously read for giving nothing in the challenge, while Jax was read for giving even less. Mistress too received universal praise in the performance and for giving something different on the runway, while Anetra was praised for her chemistry with Marcia and for slaying the runway. While Marcia too was beloved, despite still needing to drag up her looks even further. Despite the judges acknowledging that she already had grown immensely.

Backstage the dolls were glad to get another week in the competition, but Loosey and Salina were kinda pressed about being safe again. Which Sasha obviously felt was bratty. We then got a little extra time with Danny Trejo and ugh, he is the best and I love him. Sasha was proud to be serving her classic brand on the runway, while Salina explained her backpack vibe and everyone read Loosey for serving Donald Duck. Which I can not unsee. Oh and then she went back to bitching about missing out on a spot in the top. Talk eventually turned to the challenge as the girls questioned how Mistress managed to sneak out the biggest role from under Aura. Before Luxx said what we were all thinking, pointing out that Aura likely would have struggled with any role. 

The tops and bottoms returned with Aura letting them know she is definitely lip syncing, while Spice and Jax were battling it out for the final spot. Mistress meanwhile tried to downplay how much Ru loved her, while Anetra and Marcia spoke about how the judges couldn’t split them as a duo, and Malaysia was thrilled to finally get all of the judges’ love. Loosey then pulled attention back to her, sharing how upset she was to not land in the top while the safe girls rolled their eyes. Mistress meanwhile pointed out that maybe her runway let her down, which obviously upset her more while Marcia tried to remind her that they probably expected her to do well and as such, the bar was just set higher for her.

Oh and then Harvey dropped by to kiki with the dolls and ugh, he is so damn cute and lovely and I love him. And need a pep talk from him, ASAP.

Ultimately Jax was sent straight to the bottom two before Malaysia was sent to safety, therefore handing Mistress her first win of the season. Anetra and Marcia were deemed safe before Spice narrowly joined them – hilariously doing her runway shtick one last time, much to Michelle and Ru’s rage – leaving Aura to battle it out with Jax. And while both of them came out guns blazing as soon as Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa’s Sweetest Pie kicked off, it was clear that Jax is not someone you want to face off against. As she hit every lyric and served tricks and stunts before once again saving herself, leaving Aura to join the infamous win to elim club. Giving us an iconic exit line – my dead Dad will haunt you all – on the way out.

Backstage Aura was obviously disappointed to be exiting the competition so soon, though was grateful to at least get a win under her belt before her departure. I pulled her in for a massive hug – because duh, she is the trade of the season – and assured her that joining the win to elim club puts her in a spectacular group of queens and she is nearly guaranteed a return because of it. You know, on account of the whole, better to be eliminated too soon than overstay your welcome, thing. Plus, being the trade, the fandom will always remember you fondly. Almost as fondly as the taste of a Cranbura Maygarita.

Everyone loves a good margie but add in some festive spice of a little cranberry and well, you’re in heaven. Still packing the zing and freshness of the usual marg, this variation adds to the tartness to really make it sing. In all the right ways.

Enjoy!

Cranbura Maygarita
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4-8 lime wedges, for garnish and rimming glasses 
¼ cup kosher salt 
1 cup cranberry juice 
⅓ cup tequila 
¼ cup fresh lime juice 
¼ cup triple sec 
ice, to serve
½ cup cranberries, muddled

Method
Rub the edges of four margarita glasses with lime juice and dip into the salt to coat the rim.

Pop the cranberry juice, tequila, lime juice, triple sec and ice in a large cocktail shaker and shake until well combined.

Divide the muddled cranberries between the glasses, followed by the margs and then garnish with a lime. Before downing, with glee.


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Karla Cruz Godoy Rogers

Drink, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the top six faced off for reward where Owen led himself, Karla and Cody to victory for a much needed pep in the form of coffee and pastries. Sadly for them, while enjoying said spoils, the losers were back at camp where Gabler was calmly pointing out both Cassidy and Jesse need to take out their closest allies if they want a shot at winning. After Cassidy took out immunity, it became a battle for the duo to make their allies the target. The initial plan revolved around getting Karla out by lulling her into holding on to her idol, though eventually it landed on Jesse playing Cody’s idol to spook Karla into burning hers while everyone else blindsided Cody himself. Which happened and was oh so brutal. But oh so glorious to watch.

The next day Jesse was still thrilled that his plan went perfectly, blindsiding Cody and flushing Karla’s idol in a delightful show for the jury. That being said, he and the rest of the final five awoke on a new beach and had to start everything from scratch and well, that is just exhausting. So win some and lose some, I guess. Gabler was confident in his chances of taking out the win given he has been hiding in plain sight all season. Owen was shocked to have made it to the end, despite starting on the absolute bottom and being blindsided over and over. Jesse knew he now had a massive target on his back, while Cassidy was proud of having voted perfectly all game, though knew that she needed a big move to take out victory. While Karla was just grateful to still be alive given her body is straight up shutting down. But trust, our Queen is ready to FIGHT.

As the final five hunted for food in the jungle, they stumbled upon a clue each for the final advantage. They would have to unscramble words for directions to the phrase, with Cassidy just focused on making sure that Karla is not the one to get it given booting her will be her big move. Jesse meanwhile knew nobody intended to take him to the end and as such, was just as desperate. Despite Owen whipping through the phrase, Karla was the first to solve it and ran off to find it. Sadly for her, he ended up hot on her trail and overtook her as she limped to the rocks, before realising it had to be hidden in a tree. As the other trio struggled with the phrase, Karla and Owen hunted through trees with Queen Karla snatching it just ahead of Owen. Like, by a matter of centimetres.

Which obviously pissed him off. Karla meanwhile was obviously giddy as she learnt that the advantage would give her a leg up in the next immunity challenge. And given she is so beat up, this is an advantage she truly needs.

Right on cue Jeffrey appeared for said immunity challenge where the final five would race a buoy through a series of obstacles before walking blocks over a balance beam between two rods and then solve a word puzzle. Oh and in addition to immunity, they would get an epic steak reward. And since Karla won the advantage, she would only have to carry two thirds of her blocks to the puzzle table which is arguably a huge advantage, not a slight one. Everyone was neck and neck with the buoy, with Jesse slowly falling out of the challenge. Owen took a slight lead as the girls nipped at his heels as Jesse worked to close the gap. The balance beam proved to be the great equaliser, making Karla’s advantage all the more powerful as everyone raced to solve the word puzzle. Despite Karla thinking she had the phrase, it proved wrong allowing Owen enough time to step in and jag himself immunity.

As is tradition, Owen was given the power to take someone on reward with him, selecting Cassidy with zero hesitation as the other trio sadly returned to camp. But first, at the Sanctuary Owen and Cassidy were delighted to see a massive plate of food with Owen thrilled to have a guaranteed place in the final four. The duo started to talk through who would be the better person to eliminate tonight, given both Karla and Jesse are major threats, though they couldn’t really land on who was the most important to get out now. Owen felt like Jesse’s move at the previous tribal council made him unbeatable, while Cassidy was concerned about Karla’s ability to talk her way out of trouble. And say, into a million dollars. Plus Cassidy, like Mrs. Loomis, loves some good old fashioned revenge on people coming for her, so Karla would be her preference.

Back at camp Gabler – who the victors felt had no shot at final tribal council – was disappointed that Owen didn’t take him on reward, particularly since he was so damn fatigued. Karla and Jesse meanwhile were busy trying to figure out a way to avoid going out due to their threat levels, with Karla suggesting they loop in Gabler to get rid of Cassidy instead. Sadly for Jesse – or Karla, TBH – Karla actually was coming for Jesse after the Cody move and as such, wanted to lull him into a false sense of security. While Gabler wanted to stick with Cassidy and Owen, given he is fairly confident he would be able to beat them at the final tribal council. Begging the question, is he going to beat them at the final tribal council?

Owen and Cassidy returned to camp with Karla quickly pushing the importance of them banding together to get rid of Jesse first. While Owen was convinced, when it came to Cassidy she fought back as Karla explained how much better a game Jesse has played and how he will destroy her. Oh and then when that didn’t work, she straight up threatened Cassidy with smearing her name to the jury and guaranteeing she doesn’t win. Enraged, Cassidy pulled Jesse aside to tell him that Karla had been throwing his name out all afternoon and while he wanted to stick with the majority, his head told him that Cassidy was a bigger threat in the final immunity challenge. And that could cost him.

At tribal council Jesse spoke about the importance of throwing other people under the bus to reduce their threat level, specifically throwing out Karla’s name. She then pointed out that the last tribal council proves just why everyone needs to get rid of him. He then gagged literally everyone by announcing that none of it matters to him, given he is also immune since he is currently in possession of Jeanine’s idol. After Owen confirmed it looked legit, Karla immediately pivoted to suggesting getting rid of Cassidy and Gabler are also options. Cassidy downplayed it as nothing but a last ditch attempt, until Jesse and Karla got up to talk about another big move they could pull off. Eventually everyone was up and whispering as Karla pretended to not be coming for Cassidy, though when everyone sat back down, she admitted she knew Karla was still coming for her. While Gabler was just confused about which of the plans going around made the most sense.

With that the tribe voted and despite the theatrics of tribal council, Jesse stood firm and played the idol on himself as the tribe banded together to eliminate Queen Karla in fifth place. As she made her way to Ponderosa she was a little disappointed, though mainly just proud of how well she played and how much of a threat she had become. And while that threat level is what cost her, it totally guarantees her a second shot at the game and once I reminded her of that, she was positively joyous. Though maybe she just loves a Karla Cruz Godoy Rogers.

Yeah yeah, a Roy Rogers doesn’t have alcohol but it has all the sugar, which is sometimes better. Sweet cola mixed with joyous cherry-esque – despite the fact grenadine is pomegranate – flavour? Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Karla Cruz Godoy Rogers
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
90ml grenadine
600ml cola
2-4 maraschino cherries, to garnish

Method
Divide the grenadine between two tall glasses and fill them with ice. Top with cola, stir and then garnish with a cherry or two.

Then down, obviously.


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Mayor Bille Fil

Drink, TV Recap, TV, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls starred in the opening and closing performance of the new hit rusical, Lairy Poppins. Which was bad news for Dakota, given she absolutely hates musicals. Despite that, it was a strong showing across the board which gave us one of the strongest rusicals of all time. Despite giving herself the starring role to snatch a win, Pixie grew nervous at the last minute and asked Danny to trade with her. Which obviously meant Danny took out her third victory of the season. Dakota meanwhile landed in the bottom opposite Baby and while she obviously turned out the lip sync – because it is what she does, after all – she opted to leave the competition due to the pressure it was putting on her emotionally. Likely saving Dakota from elimination.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken by Baby’s departure, praising her for looking after her mental health and genuinely applauding her for making the tough decision to care for herself. The dolls took to the couches where Danny was exhausted by the literal weight of her epic outfit, while Jonbers was just thrilled to land in the top and get lavished in praise by Ru and Co. Which led to Pixie getting a wee bit shady, pointing out that since she doesn’t have a badge, she is likely the next to go. Oh and then Danny ran around eating everyone with her plant head.

Everyone returned to the Werk Room squawking like birds before realising that they’ve made it to the halfway point of the competition. Jonbers shared that she finally realised that she needed to have fun and enjoy herself during the rusical which is why she succeeded, while Peppa was far more focused on just getting another win. Oh and Cheddar was carrying a fake cockroach around. Before we could learn more about her backstory, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge – finally! – they would be playing the Snatch Game. Much to the delight of everyone but Le Fil.

As soon as Ru departed, the dolls immediately split up to talk through characters, with Le Fil opting for Marie Kondo despite playing Posh Spice on Mel C’s global tour, while Danny wanted to do Louis Walsh and Jonbers was planning on doing my love Enya. Before we could learn more, Ru returned with Baga Chipz MBE to give some advice with Ru and Baga happy with both of Le Fil’s choices, while Pixie shared was doing Shirley Bassey, Peppa was going with Lil Nas X, Cheddar was undecided between Quentin Crisp and Lizzie I while Dakota was all in on Pete Burns. Jonbers and Danny were last up to kiki, with Ru reiterating how much she loved Jonbers in the rusical. Almost as much as she likes the idea of her doing Enya, though not as much as her own idea for Jonbers, St. Patty, the female version of St. Patrick. While Ru read Danny’s version of Louis, leading to a late breaking change to Cilla Blake.

After Ru left, Peppa channelled Lisa Barlow and was physically shaking leading to Jonbers pulling her aside for a pep talk, encouraging her to just believe in herself and to channel the Black Peppa energy into the challenge. And ugh, I love to see it. Cheddar meanwhile looked perfect as Liz the First while Danny too spiralled over who to choose. Which again led to a beautiful pep talk, this time from Cheddar, Pixie and Dakota. And is this her fourth win incoming?

We ventured to the mainstage where Ru was joined by Tess Daly and AJ Odudu on the panel for Strictly Come Snatch Game. And well Cheddar was perfect from the very start, particularly with her rotted teeth. Le Fil was energetic, Danny stuck with Cilla Black and was a delight, Pixie was strong and Dakota was an absolute delight. Peppa meanwhile was awkward but sexy, while Jonber’s St Patty was demented and hilarious. Cheddar went from strength to strength with every round, giving a horned up, murderous, giggly delight, while Jonbers was far and away having the best time. Pixie meanwhile appeared to struggle and leant into only diamonds despite some strong jokes, while Peppa was total bombed. And Le Fil was one, tidy and polite note. Oh and Dakota is funny, which needs to be reiterated.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls excited to be embracing girl power in honour of this week’s guest judge Mel B. Pixie meanwhile took time out to congratulate Jonbers on killing two challenges in a row, before Jonbers in turn praised Cheddar as the only other spoiler to her first win. Peppa meanwhile knew she bombed and accepted it, while Le Fil had fun despite not being super funny. Everyone split up to get ready with Cheddar opening up to Dakota about her runway look which pays homage to the pink triangle used to fight the inaction against AIDS (and before that, the way to identify queer people in the holocaust). Talk turned to the general horror of government’s inaction and how it led to the genocide of queer people, and the stigma and trauma we still live with from coming of age through the ads of the time.

And ugh, I loved Cheddar’s passionate lecture about HIV education and well, just give her the crown, please.

Ru, Michelle, Alan and my girl Scary Spice took their places on the panel as Dakota kicked off the Tickled Pink runway looking stunning as a modern day Marilyn, by way of Courtney Act. Black Peppa was stunning in a clash of patterns and textures while paying homage to Marge Simpson and fairy floss. Pixie paid homage to Ru’s racer girl look in the opening titles, Cheddar was breathtaking in her glorious statement number. It was architectural, sexy, stunning and dare I say it, also paying homage to Dragometry? Danny owned 51% of the runway with a sweet, velvet and feathered delight. Jonbers gave a cute showgirl while Le Fil was stunning in an umbrella and tent gown which is so much better than my description.

Dakota and Danny were sent to safety before Peppa, obviously, was read for filth for her Lil Nas X despite Mel B getting horned up by her look. Oh and they loved the runway. Pixie meanwhile got a mixed bag for Snatch Game, with more lows than highs, though they lived for her runway. Cheddar received wall to wall praise for nailing Snatch Game and for giving such a stunning look on the runway that gave an even stronger message. Jonbers too got universal praise, with everyone glad that she was clearly having so much fun. Oh and her outfit was cute. And well, poor Le Fil was read for just being lovely and quiet, rather than bringing any jokes. Though damn did they love her outfit!

Backstage Team D were thrilled to be safe as the tops and bottoms joined them to fill them in on the critiques. While Jonbers was thrilled, Pixie was disappointed to have gotten mixed reviews, leading to the girls reminding her that she needs to get back out of her head and embrace her talent. Peppa knew she was bad so wasn’t too disappointed, instead turning her attention to the lip sync which is kinda the vibe that Le Fil was giving off too. As Jonbers and Cheddar opened up about how much it meant to them to do well in Snatch Game.

Ultimately Cheddar jagged her second win of the season, leaving Jonbers with a second week of being the bridesmaid. At the other end of the pack, Pixie obviously avoided landing in the bottom two, leaving Le Fil and Peppa to battle it out to the iconic Stop by my girls, the Spicys. Le Fil gave camp comedy perfection and while Peppa started out slow, she built throughout the song until she literally flipped and somersaulted all over the stage. Which was enough to save herself, sending sweet Le Fil out of the competition.

As soon as Le Fil rounded the corner back into the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and immediately burst into tears over the thought of losing her. While Le Fil didn’t have as large a personality compared to some of her sisters, her warmth and heart radiated through the screen and I instantly fell in love. Add in the fact she is super talented, knows how to consistently turn a perfect look and is dripping in charm, there was no denying the importance of toasting her success with a punchy Mayor Bille Fil.

Zesty and bitter, this quick and easy cocktail is oh so refreshing. Though maybe that is because they are so easy to make, meaning you barely notice drinking another.

Enjoy!

Mayor Bille Fil
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
30ml sweet vermouth
30ml dry vermouth
12ml gin
2 tsp orange juice
dash of bitters

Method
Pop everything in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake, pour and down.


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Lemon & Sminty Drop

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were paired up to make complimentary looks ready for the bingo hall out of a box of colour-themed goodies. While Sminty and Le Fil panicked about their options, they ultimately slayed – obviously – while Jonbers and Peppa went the opposite route, living for their options and concept though ultimately unable to execute their vision in time. Oh and while I felt Cheddar and Copper looked perfect as good vs evil, though Cheddar looked like a snazzy rock while Copper gave Barbarella realness. Dakota and Baby though were the clear standouts and took out the win, while Peppa and Copper were singled out as the worst of their pairs and forced to face off in the lip sync. Tragically sending Copper out of the competition.

Backstage Peppa was feeling humbled by her appearance in the bottom before she followed it up by praising her dear sister Ginger. And by Ginger, she was talking about Copper. Sminty meanwhile could get her name right, though was feeling awks to have called her an old maiden, particularly since she was heartbroken to have lost her warm presence. Cheddar felt badly to have not been in the bottom with her partner, while Danny questioned if Jonbers was just grateful that Peppa had to lip sync from their pair, essentially saying that she thinks Jonbers got bloody lucky.

Things were far more chill the next day as Dakota proudly unveiled her second badge leading to shady little Sminty questioning whether it means she is no longer Da-coaster. Before Baby could unleash on her sisters for ruining her first win in the Girl Groups challenge again, Ru arrived to lead the girls in a booty-tastic quick-drag game of Musical Chairs. Zaddy Brit Crew was brought out to adjudicate as the dolls twerked their way around the booty chairs until Danny exited first. Just as she predicted. She was followed by Cheddar, Dakota, Le Fil, Baby, Peppa and Jonbers before Pixie took out the win over Sminty. Which seemed right, given they both had cheeto dust on as foundation.

And for her troubles, she would be picking teams for this week’s Maxi Challenge where the dolls would appear in the new UK chat show Catty Man. So basically, Bossy Rossy, but hopefully with funny improv? Pixie is smart, so obviously she grabbed Cheddar and Danny, then assigned Dakota, Le Fil and Baby to Group 2 leaving Peppa, Jonbers and Sminty as the last group. After Ru departed the groups split up, de-dragged and kikied about how the groups were formed with Group 2 thinking it was all kind and fair. While Pixie admitted to her co-stars that she put the final group together knowing it is likely to bomb. Badly. They took their places around the werk room to read the overview of the scenes, with Group 1 getting a great psychic, attempted murder narrative. Group 2 would be dealing with a case of swapped tonges while Group 3 aka Group Pixie-designed-to-bomb would be confronting a catfish.

We ventured straight to set where Cheddar, Pixie and Danny were first to chat with Catty Man himself and my dear friend, Alan Carr. And well, they were perfection from start to finish. Cheddar was a camp, heartbroken, vamp, Danny was the most ridiculous psychic and having the most damn fun. And by the time Pixie arrived, pitch perfect, I don’t see how any of the other teams could top them. Insert a because they’re all bottoms joke here yourselves, please. Dakota’s fake voice was madness and had everyone, herself and Alan included, in hysterics. Baby was hilarious and charming, though more importantly, was sitting spread eagle on the chair while Le Fil was a doddering, doctor, delight. Rounding out taping, Peppa was ready to run out and get married; sweet, loved up and oh so cute, Sminty meanwhile got a bit swallowed up by the scene. Particularly once Jonbers arrived, giving sexy, stupid and so much fun. While Sminty just stayed on stage until the lights went out. Shocked and confused.

Elimination Day arrived with Sminty clearly having exited the Catty Man set and joining her sisters to prep for the runway, while Pixie and Danny spoke about who they think will win a badge out of the two of them or whether it would be a group win. Because yeah, they felt what we saw, I guess? Le Fil and Dakota meanwhile were talking about how excited they were for the runway. Dakota opened up about how important her hair was to her growing up and how nice it will be for her to pay homage to her grandmother who let her embrace her desire for long, billowing locks. Le Fil too felt like hair was so important to her, given being male is so important in her culture and that growing out her hair as an adult feels like coming into her own. Peppa meanwhile spoke to Cheddar about how she would proudly honour her blackness with braided hair, while Cheddar opened up about losing her hair after getting sick as a teen and while it led to a lot of insecurities, shaving it all off made her fully come into her own.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Alison Hammond as Danny kicked off The Mane Event runway looking mad as she walked the dog with her shock of red hair. But given she called her dog, Divina Dog Campo – the red dog with a silver leash, it’s a win for me. Cheddar slayed as the sexiest Cheshire Cat known to man, complete with a rainbow furball. Pixie gave the Birth of Venus and looked oh so glamorous, Dakota was stunning as she honoured her grandmother’s hair-doll curtains she destroyed growing up, Baby was sexy in an architectural gown made of dreads before Le Fil was stunning, giving all the hair we’ve collectively lost down the drain. Black Peppa was stunning in a gorgeous braided regal gown, Sminty was perfection as a sexy-moth while Jonbers was gorgeously camp as Lady Di’s step mother, though make it furkini sexy.

Dakota, Peppa and Jonbers were sent to safety before Cheddar received universal praise for the challenge and even more for the runway. Danny’s performance in the challenge was completely beloved as was her bringing glam on the runway. And well, Pixie too received top marks for all that she did this week. Because honestly, any of the three could win this. Baby meanwhile was read for letting her nerves get to her and serving only one note, though obviously they all lived for her runway despite Ru wanting it to be elevated. They felt Le Fil was a little bit flat and gave the much needed shade to the challenge (though no personal light), though they loved her filthy concept on the runway. Then poor Sminty was read for just disappearing in the challenge but damn were they in love with her runway, Mothy Kendoll, in honour of her mother.

Backstage Dakota was so grateful to be safe despite being nervous about the challenge, while Jonbers wished she was able to have been in the top. As the tops and bottoms joined the girls, Danny broke down about how much it meant to her for Ru to call her a comedy legend who was perfect. Pixie broke down about how much the judges loved her look, while Cheddar praised Pixie for doing so well in the challenge, before loading praise on Danny, which made her a little sad. Talk turned to the bottom with everyone speculating whether the fact that Sminty’s runway being the best of the night would be enough to save her from being the absolute worst in the challenge. While Baby opened about struggling with her emotions throughout the competition, though both she and Sminty vowed to give it their all in the lip sync.

Ultimately Cheddar was deemed safe before Danny took out victory – much to Pixie’s clear disappointment, despite the pride for her sister – before Pixie joined them. At the other end of the pack, Le Fil narrowly avoided lip syncing, leaving Baby and Sminty to battle it out to Mel and Kim’s Respectable, with both of the dolls absolutely slaying, giving camp, comedy and hitting every damn line. But damn, let’s just say that Baby’s attitude was unbeatable, giving all the sass before straight up stripping down to a thong. And well, like me, that was enough for Ru to give her the win, tragically eliminating Sminty from the competition.

Thankfully in the most iconic way possible, sad twerking at the door on the way out.

By the time she arrived backstage, I had fully converted myself into an old timey mobster-talent agent-esque character, telling her, “kid, you did GREAT! That exit just secured your career and made you a STAR baby.” While I quickly came back into my own, Sminty’s willingness to make fun of herself and give us a Vanjie style moment made an already delightful run completely iconic. Which is all I needed to justify toasting her success with a fresh, punchy Lemon & Sminty Drop.

This delight is actually Lady Sonja Tremont Morgan’s signature drink, but TBH, I feel like she and Sminty would be the best of friends so I am sure she is happy to share. Sharp, tart and earthy, this refreshing little drop is both celebratory and refreshing. Like the new legend, Sminty.

Enjoy!

Lemon & Sminty Drop
Makes: 1.

Ingredients
½ lemon
1 sprig mint
ice
1-2 shots blue raspberry vodka
soda water

Method
Squeeze a quarter of the lemon into a tall glass and muddle with the mint.

Fill the glass with ice, pour in the vodka and top with soda water and the remaining lemon to garish. Then, down.


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Minnie Cooperstown

Drink, TV Recap, TV, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls hosted a cute little brunch in duos. While Molly tried to do a little bit of sabo, by pairing herself with her bestie Hannah while making sure every other pair had a contender. And well, not. Despite Yuri disappearing for half the day to go to hospital, she and Spaknie absolutely slayed their set – CUM (which is generally the culprit of all eye irritations in my house, but I digress) – while Pomara and Bev just felt like they were at two different venues. As such Spankie and Yuri took out a very well earned joint victory while Bev and Pomara faced off in the lip sync, with Pomara tragically shown the door.

Backstage Bev was well and truly in her feels, though was giddy to have survived. She was feeling like everyone was ready for her to go next, though was ready to gag them. Speaking of gag, she opened up about her and Pomara not getting along in the challenge and while she wasn’t comfortable then, she assured her sisters she was ready to speak up as needed. She congratulated Spankie and Yuri on their joint victory, with Spankie giddy to be the first two-time winner of the season. While Hannah questioned whether she is maybe cursed and is the reason she and Molly didn’t win. Oh and then she questioned whether her topping Spankie would look like a Chihuahua doing a Great Dane which adds nothing to the story, but is a very important visual.

The next day the dolls were full of energy and having the best damn time, while Hannah admitted she continues to have a steely focus on hitting the top. She opened up about being emotionally drained, leading to a beautiful discussion amongst the girls about mental health and the general pressure of the competition. Ru then dropped by and gagged them once again with the news that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be playing the Snatch Game. As she left, the dolls split up to talk characters with Spankie bringing Dame Edna to the stage and yes, that is perfect for her. Yuri is going with my girl Courtney Love, Minnie is doing Ellen while Molly is going with zaddy Orville Peck, which made Spankie particularly nervous.

Ru returned for a walk through with Hannah debating between Liza and Drew Barrymore, though ideally will follow Alexis rather than Willow. Bev was thinking she would go with Val Garland, until Ru questioned whether anyone found her funny in her real life. Kween Kong was going with Nene Leakes, opening up to Ru that she was hoping to get out of her head, let go and finally have some fun. Minnie was excited by Ellen which thrilled Ru, though I wish she went with the one she was joking about, Mr G. She then threw Bev under the bus, telling Ru she was gagged by Bev lying about getting along with Pomara on the mainstage and well, there is going to be drama once again.

After Ru departed, Yuri was looking forward to being messy, Hannah was a mix of emotions while Kween opened up about her talk to Ru making her feel seen and ready to shine. She opened up about her upbringing and life, feeling guilty about leaving her family behind to start her career and succeed, always worrying about making it up to them. Hannah then brought up Bev seeming a little down, with her calling out Minnie for throwing her under the bus in front of Ru and telling her it hurt her feelings.

We ventured to the Snatch Game set where Rhys and Raven joined the dolls to compete, where Minnie was confusing and Kween was a zaddy and selling Nene’s energy. Yuri was a delightful mess, Bev was a little confusing but so committed while Hannah stole the damn show as Liza. Molly was hilariously off character, while Spankie was a killer Dame Edna. But make no mistake, this was Hannah’s breakout challenge. I mean, her Liza was a masterclass and so much damn fun. I mean, she even followed in Jinkx’s trajectory of singing covers of Ru’s songs. And it was perfect. Though Yuri and Spankie were also super fun. And while Minnie and Molly were a mess, Bev was forgettable, which is the far greater sin in Snatch Game.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls recapping their performances, with Hannah thrilled to clearly be getting her first win while Bev was feeling fine. Which elicited eyerolls from everyone. Minnie meanwhile knew that she bombed, though was hopeful her runway would be able to save her. As they split up to beat their mugs, Spankie suggested they do impersonations of each other with Hannah and Spankie nailing each other. Molly did a pitch perfect Minnie, but more importantly, was brave to do it. Kween read Yuri for filth, by saying her sitting there was a Yuri impression and again, Kween is my life and loins at this point.

On the Cirque Du So-Gay runway, Minnie slayed the runway as the rollergirl clown while Kween was the sexiest bearded lady, complete with a full, shimering bush. Spankie slayed in a harlequin mime number, Yuri was a sexy showgirl in white, complete with a tattooed burlesque show. Bev went full sexy lion, lion-tamer, owning the big top, Molly was perfection as a fairy floss mime-clown, while Hannah gave sexy-jester realness.

Kween was sent to safety solo before Minnie was praised for her runway, though read for absolutely bombing Snatch Game. Spankie was praised for doing well, despite Michelle wanting more, while her runway was praised for her growth. And by that, I assume Michelle meant pants. Yuri was praised for leaning into the stupid and agan, slaying the runway. While Bev’s runway received universal praise, her Snatch was read for absolute filth for just missing every damn mark. She then opened up about feeling like an imposter, before Ru encouraged her to kill the inner saboteur and slay. Molly’s runway was beloved, though her Orville was read for being nothing. While Hannah received effusive praise for literally everything she did this week, from the runway to her Liza. And well, that praise was deserved.

Backstage Kween’s peace and quiet was interrupted by the rest of the dolls with everyone congratulating Hannah on slaying the game. Bev opened up about feeling the pressure of the competition, while Minnie started to break down, feeling bad for having upset Bev and stressed about it playing on her mind when she clearly has to lip sync. Molly meanwhile was nervous about lip syncing because Minnie is beloved by the judges.

Obviously Hannah took out victory while Spankie and Yuri were deemed safe. On the flipside, Molly narrowly avoided lip syncing, leaving current feuders Minnie and Bev to battle for safety. To Lady Gaga’s Dance in the Dark, no less. While Minnie delighted in clown comedy, Bev was desperate to save herself, giving all the emotion and slaying every damn lyric and well, it was good. Good enough to give her another week and tragically send the legend that is Minnie Cooper home. Thankfully with a lot of love from her sisters.

While I was tempted to start a feud with her when she walked backstage – I crave the attention, you know – I couldn’t do that to such an icon. Instead, I pulled Minnie in for a massive hug and reiterated how damn proud of her I am. Not only is she a killer performer that has well and truly earned her legacy, she also knew the assignment when coming on reality TV and gave us camp, gaggy moments and a lot of heart. I then asked her if she had any other potential people she was tossing around for Snatch Game and upon hearing she opted against doing Jeanne Little, who she would have demolished the competition with, I lost it. There were tears, rage screams and well, I am ashamed at how much it hurt. Thankfully after her holding me in her arms and assuring me it was ok, and downing a Minnie Cooperstown, everything was all good.

This little drink is the perfect pick-me-up when you’re feeling down, earthy, sweet and packing a minty punch, it is a symphony of flavours that fill your heart with joy.

So, enjoy!

Minnie Cooperstown
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
45ml gin
25ml red vermouth
35ml dry vermouth
a couple of dashes of bitters
2 mint leaves

Method
Combine everything in a cocktail shaker with ice and stir to chill. Strain into a glass and down.

And then repeat, as necessary (in a responsible manner).


As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

French Miss Moçoa

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race twelve new queens entered the Werk Room, ready to battle it out for a crown. And TBH, our hearts. Barely able to catch their breath, the dolls walked a street style fashion show. Before they had to turn their street clothes into catwalk chic for their mainstage debut. And again, so chic, Jamie. While most of the girls were quite strong, it was Lady Boom Boom who stormed the challenge to her first victory while Miss Moço and Halal Bae landed in the bottom. And after a hard fought lip sync, my zaddy Halal Bae found herself becoming the first boot.

And just like that, my basement started to drain.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Halal, none more so than her baby Bombae, who was now ready to fight for their family name. As was Miss Moço, who doesn’t want to land in the bottom again ever again. Or leave her fellow Toronto queen Jada with only Fiercalicious for company. Everyone congratulated Lady Boom Boom on her victory, while Jada was more focused on the fact that Boom Boom sounds sexy and floods her basement. Which is relatable, but triggering, since Halal Bae is gone.

The next day the dolls were energetic and ready to slay a new challenge, with Irma wanting to show off her comedy chops. Kimmy meanwhile noticed a bag had been left in the Werk Room which was filled with hockey jerseys, making everyone super butch. Or something. Brad arrived to explain that the jerseys were for his new gay hockey team, but first, the dolls would need to design the team kit in the form of a 30 minute quick-drag mini-challenge. First up Jada looked a technicolour mess, Kaos was just wild, Fiercalicious was delightfully slutty, Chelazon looked at the end of her tether, Boom Boom looked absolutely stunning, Vivian was adorable, Bombae wandered aimlessly, Moço flashed her buns – a win in my eyes – Giselle looked like she had seen some shit while Irma Gerd was intense and Kimmy served sex. Not sexy, just sex.

Ultimately it was Chelazon Leroux that took out victory though. Brad then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be nominated for AND presenting at the Who-Knows Awards. And as the winner of the Mini Challenge, Chelazon had the power to partner everyone up. After picking Giselle for herself, she paired Fiercalicious with Kimmy, gave Jada and Moço their wish of being a duo and put Irma and Vivian together, leaving Bombae, Kaos and Lady Boom Boom as the final trio. The latter of which would be presenting Busiest Beaver Award. Jada and Moço were given Frostiest Queen, Nicest Caribooty would be given out by Chelazon and Giselle, Best All Dressed would be given by Kimmy and Fiercalicious, while the Lifetime Achievement in Delusion would be presented by Irma and Vivian.

After Brad exited the dolls split up to start working on their sets, with Bombae confident in their group setting the scene and slaying. Irma and Vivian meanwhile were giggling away and coming up with the stupidest jokes possible. Jada and Moço were confident to be working together, given they do it in their real lives and were planning to leave nerves at the door. On the flipside, Fiercalicious started to spiral, worried about whether her and Kimmy can even be funny, while Chelazon and Giselle were just vibing. But more importantly, Irma and Vivian were absolutely delightful.

As Fiercalicious and Kimmy grew more and more frustrated with each other, Brad returned to check in with the girls, with Boom Boom opening up about being worried about not being funny in English. Jada and Moço were thrilled by how much Brad was living for their script, Chelazon and Giselle appeared to be on the right track while Kimmy and Fiercalicious appeared to make him nervous. Obviously Irma and Vivian were adorbs, despite Brad cautioning them to not try too hard. 

Elimination Day arrived with Kaos super nervous of the challenge, while Fiercalicious was unsure how she and Kimmy will be able to pull things together. Talk turned to everyone’s sense of humour, with Irma using humour to make friends from a young age while Bombae treated it as her lifejacket. Chelazon meanwhile opened up about humour being so important for Indigenous people, sharing that she is two spirit and sharing how laughter has helped her through the tough times. Kaos meanwhile wanted to open up about her own journey as an Indigenous person, though didn’t want it to come off as insincere, given she felt she presents too white. Which is honestly heartbreaking.

Oh and Fiercalicious continued to yell at Kimmy.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by rockstar Carole Pope on the judges panel as the Who-Knows Awards kicked off. And well, as soon as Kaos, Lady Boom Boom and Bombae arrived to give out the Busiest Beaver Award, they were super cute. Albeit a little formulaic. Well, until Kaos and Boom Boom started to read their sisters, then they slayed. Oh and Jada won, because the girls actually voted on these awards. Giselle and Chelazon were camp delights as Kaos took out Best Caribooty, Moço and Jada meanwhile bombed as Frostiest Queen was bequeathed to Chelazon before Kimmy stole the damn show – despite not sticking to Fiercalicious’ direction – giving Best All Dressed to Lady Boom Boom before Irma and Vivian were silly, stupid and so much fun as the Lifetime Achievement Award for Delusion went to Miss Fiercalicious.

On the Goddess of the Ancient World runway, Kaos was a white, winter warrior bride and well, it was hot. Bombae was perfect, giving full glamour, Boom Boom was a sexy little cupid, Moço was vampy – and a little nervous – as the goddess of the underworld while Jada was a sexy snake-fish golden dream. Chelazon was a stunning sky goddess in black, while Giselle was a floral, forest delight, Kimmy was perfection as an orange sun goddess, Fiercalicious was a mirrored, golden delight before Vivian gave black and golden Norse delight and Irma closed the show as a chaotic, rainbow fairy floss delight.

Bombae, Giselle, Boom Boom, Kaos and Vivian were deemed safe and sent to untuck before Moço was praised for looking so glamorous and giving all the emotion. Though she was read for filth for bombing the challenge and missing the mark. Jada too was read for the challenge, though they also loved her runway. Chelazon received praise for powering through the challenge and for having an absolutely perfect mug, though the judges were disappointed she didn’t give enough in the looks. Kimmy meanwhile received universal praise for all that she did, from the challenge to the runway. As did Fiercalicious, despite the fact they were not vibing before taking the stage. And while Irma started strong, the judges felt she got stuck in her head and started to fade while they felt her look didn’t scream chaotic like she had hoped.

The tops and bottoms joined the girls backstage with Fiercalicious excited to be in the top, before quickly trying to rub it in Chelazon’s face, given she was trying to be shady by pairing her with Kimmy. Which is not at all what she was doing. Irma was disappointed to be in the bottom while Jada pulled focused as she broke down over her landing in the bottom. While Moço was more nervous about having to lip sync against her sister.

Ultimately it was Kimmy that took out her first win of the season as Chelazon and Fiercalicious were sent to safety. Meanwhile besties Moço and Jada’s worst fears came to life as Irma was deemed safe and they had to lip sync against each other to High School Confidential by Rough Trade (and you know, Carole Pope). And while they both fought valiantly, Jada had all the fire and emotion and managed to narrowly save herself, sending her sweet sister Miss Moço out of the competition.

As poor Moço caught up with me backstage I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her how talented she is. It felt like she was nervous in her short time on the show, though I reiterated that she is such a star, win or lose, and not to worry. Which quickly perked her back up. Though maybe that was, you know, the French Miss Moçoa we shared.

How does this differ from a regular hot chocolate? More chocolate and cream, essentially. But those two additions truly give you an other worldly experience. Velvety and rich, this is a decadent treat that is perfect for reminding people how talented they are.

Enjoy!

French Miss Moçoa
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
60g dark chocolate, chopped 
45g milk chocolate, chopped 
1 ¼ cups milk 
½ cup double cream 
2 tsp muscovado sugar, plus extra if needed
¼ tsp kosher salt

Method
Pop everything in a small saucepan over low heat and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until the chocolate is melted and it is piping hot.

Pour into two mugs and down, gloriously.


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Halall Baetters

Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race Brooke Lynn Hytes has welcomed 24 dolls into her folk over two seasons, with Priyanka and Icesis joining the winner’s circle. Hilariously a club that Brooke herself has not even managed to join. Along the way, we’ve met some icons and while Lemon was the first to go in UK vs. The World, she will forever be in my heart thanks to her killer Snatch Game. And then, well, Jimbo is Jimbo and her bologna clown was amazing. So basically, stop sleeping on Canada and get into it for this new batch of stunning queens.

First up being the iconic Bombae who describes herself as a model club kid who is super chaotic and well, I live for her already. Kimmy Couture arrived looking snatched and ready to break the Asian curse, more importantly she is a trans icon and the daughter of current reigning Icesis. So she is prepared but also terrified. Chelazon Leroux joined the gang looking like a stoned version of Willow’s entrance look and I kinda live. Jada Shada Hudson arrived and called herself a throat goat, so she instantly became my favourite because she is the moment. And has such a good damn vibe. And hopefully can teach us anything we’re doing wrong with our throat games. Miss Moço gave a wig reveal for her entry, so obviously I live for that before Giselle Lullaby arrived looking like Ozzy Ostrich but giving Fabio out of drag. So now I live for her.

Kaos arrived dressed as an owl and well, did she inspire the promo theme because that is amazing? Miss Fiercalious entered serving tall Jorgeous and am I turning into Ru, because well, I love this little twink. Vivian Vanderpuss was next giving old Kendall Gender, ironically being younger than her. But who cares, because she is camp, charming and a total nerd daddy out of drag. Lady Boom Boom arrived stripping off to a cute comic book look and I love her too. Particularly since she joked about coming to the competition to learn English. Irma Gerd entered serving full on weirdo and I live for every single thing about here before Halal Bae arrived giving chest hair to round out the cast, exposed face and well, she is sickening. And so damn hot. Oh and she is also Bombae’s mother and hooked up with Jada in the past, so this will totally get interesting!

Brooke dropped by before I could complete my erotic fan fiction of Halal Bae and Jada, with Brad and Traci in tow for the trio to officially welcome everyone to the competition. And what better way to welcome them than a quick little sidewalk chic mini fashion show mini challenge. But more importantly, we learnt Trojan is the cash sponsor this season. Which. Is. Iconic.

First on the runway was Bombae looking stunning in a black and yellow puffer jacket, with a reveal to biker gear and buns underneath. Moço was a neon business woman, Kimmy was damn stunning in full black, complete with conical bra and beret. Jada was fierce in clashing colours and prints while Chelazon was boudoir street. Wait no, they were denim shorts. Giselle went with a shiny neon tracksuit, Kaos was a clash of plaids looking like ‘80s Cyndi Lauper while Fiercalious was so cute in red and white. While Vivian was delightful walking imaginary dogs in a colour palette straight out of Scooby Doo, Halal Bae gave sexy raccoon, before Irma Gerd was weird and delightful, giving Paddington goes fishing. Finally, Lady Boom Boom gave Bimini does Paris Hilton and I live. Ultimately though there can only be one winner, which rightly was deemed Bombae.

The judges then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would have to design a couture outfit fit for their MainStage debut, using the clothes on their backs. And well, that is a damn challenge. More importantly, the dolls then de-dragged with everyone horny for Kaos and Halal Bae and well, relatable.

After everyone was giving their natural face, the dolls split up to start working on their outfits with Halal knowing her daughter would slay, given she has a tonne of fabric and is the seamstress of the family. Boom Boom meanwhile shared that she studied fashion which obviously led to everyone dropping by for advice for the rest of the episode. Kaos meanwhile was confident in her ideas, though concerned about the execution. Fiercalious was being shady about Chelazon to Jada and Halal, ready for her to be the first to go home. Irma and Vivian meanwhile were bonding over being from small towns and being weirdos, and well, I love them and want them to get married immediately because they are the absolute sweetest. Chelazon and Bombae meanwhile were bonding about coming from conserative towns.

Halal meanwhile was busy wishing they could have just started from scratch while Fiercalious realised she has one of the weakest looks. On the other side of the room Kimmy was continually starting over, much to Vivian’s delight as Jada hoped to fake her way through the challenge, given she is super shit at sewing. Moço started to get in her head, as Kimmy chose not to give her advice as she commenced her spiral. Oh and then Miss Fiercalious irritated everyone with her attitude and constant need for help.

Elimination Day arrived with the nerves well and truly kicking in as the Toronto dolls bonded over their diversity and how they all arrived in Toronto for a new start. Jada then opened up about how she fled from Barbados after being outed. Bombae shared that she only just got her permanent recesidency days before the competition, while Halal shared that Egypt and Kuwait weren’t the safest places to be queer, so she considers herself Canadian first. But she will always rock body hair and a moustache in honour of her heritage.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by supermodel Monika Schnarre on the judges panel as Lady Boom Boom kicked off the Sidewalk to Catwalk runway, looking stunning in an architectural black and pink look. Kaos was stunning in spiky plaids, Jada gave Southern Belle straight out of Dynasty while Irma was perfection in an almost Vivian Westwood inspired look. Almost being the emphasis there. Kimmy was black swan beauty, Bombae wore a bouncing ballet gown, Moço was kinda a neon mess with a bunch of ruching down the sides. Chelzaon gave a black gown with cutouts and a message while Vivian served a stunning black gown. Halal turned her raccoon into a dominatrix, while Fiercalious was a wet hair babe, despite the dress being kind of a mess. Then Giselle stole the show in a shiny pink and chartreuse mod gown.

Ultimately Lady Boom Boom, Kaos, Jada Shade Hudson, Moço, Halal Bae and Fiercalious were deemed the tops and bottoms, as the other dolls went to untuck. The judges lived for how Lady Boom Boom turned her tracksuit into a stunning couture gown, completely transforming and elevating Juicy. Kaos was praised for clearly keeping the spirit of the first look but creating something so perfect and different. Jada too received universal praise, for the storytelling and giving such polish in the design. She then broke down, feeling like she proved herself and looks pretty, despite not being a strong sewer. Meanwhile Miss Moço was read for ruining her killer streetwear look with such an ill-fitting runway. And for clearly knowing the look wasn’t her best, with the judges reminding her to fake it when she isn’t confident. Halal was praised for being the moustache queen, though they wished her lip was a different colour despite going for raccoon. Oh and they just didn’t live for the look. While Fiercalious was praised for being perfectly beat, though read for not bringing enough of her streetwear look to the final garment.

Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to not be the first ones going home with them all agreeing Fiercalious needed the most help to get to the runway. Right on cue, she and the rest of the tops and bottoms joined them with Fiercalious admitting she will be in the bottom, despite looking pretty while Halal felt she was definitely in the bottom two. As was Moço, who shared she was the most hated. On the flip side, Jada was thrilled to be one of the Toronto girls making it to the top, particularly since she can not sew. While it was obvious Lady Boom Boom had the skills, Kaos was proud to be in the top given she was so confused. Talk turned to who should have been in the bottom instead with Bombae saying Halal should not have been in the bottom and while she didn’t want to name anyone else, outside of Fiercalious. Kimmy took the shade to the next level and asked Fiercalious how it feels to be the first one to go home before Chelazon softened things, reminding her to have fun lip syncing.

Ultimately it was Lady Boom Boom that took out the first win of the season as Jada and Kaos were sent to safety, alongside Fiercalious who was shocked AND gave an iconic crying fake out. As Moço and Halal Bae faced off to Bieber and my girl Nicky Minaj’s Beauty and a Beat, both of the dolls were ready to prove why they should stay. Moço hiked up her dress and looked infinitely better, hitting every lyric and serving face while Halal gave sex and madness and was so much fun. Though by the time Moço was somersaulting and cartwheeling, it was clear that she was not going anywhere as zaddy Halal Bae tragically sashayed away.

Straight into my arms, as I pulled him in for a strong, lingering, almost romantic hug. As we briefly separated, I gave him my usual spiel that being the first boot is just as memorable as iconic as making it to the end, so if she wasn’t going to win, this was the best place to finish. Plus, she is so sexy that the world will rally around her as a robbed goddess as we collectively lust after her. With that, she was perked up as I toasted her performance with Halall Baetters. Before cheering her up in other ways, obviously.

Yeah, yeah, lemon, lime and bitters – or LLB, thus the hybrid LL Bitters shoe horning – is super simple and easy to make, but that doesn’t take away from how damn good it is. Sweet with a tang, it is the second best thing I tasted that day. (Oh and its easily spiked with vodka for optimal delight).

Enjoy!

Halall Baetters
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 cups lemonade, chilled
¼ cup fresh lime juice, plus wedges for serving
½ tsp Angostura Bitters, plus extra for serving
ice, to serve

Method
Combine the lemonade, lime juice and bitters in a jug and stir until a consistent colour.

Divide the ice between two glasses, divide the LLB and then top with a few drops of bitters and lime to serve.

Then down, thirstily, for optimal energy.


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Boozy Rajafresca

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 7, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 8, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Winners eight iconic victors of seasons past returned to the mainstage to compete for the chance to be crowned the one, true, Queen of all Queens. After kicking off the season with a killer rumix where Shea and Monet slayed in front of Cameron Diaz, the dolls backed it up with Snatch Game. And not just any Snatch Game, a double dose of Snatch, where each queen was tasked with delivering not one, but two performances. While Jinkx obviously delivered a masterclass duo of performances alongside Trinity, Raja was the surprise package and stole my heart with her hilarious turns. Ultimately though it was Jinkx and Trinity that landed in the top making Shea’s choice to block Trinity a smart one. Well, until Jinkx won the lip sync and returned the favour, blocking Shea the very next week.

Backstage Jinkx was feeling her oats post-win and ugh, I love to see it. She then explained that she blocked Shea this week because she already has a star and given Shea is that good, it is unlikely she will stumble again. And as such, they all need to do what they can. And well, everyone agreed they would have made the same decision, while Yvie would have lingered on Monet to make her shit herself. Which, lol. Shea arrived and started to play mind games with the dolls, pretending the platinum plunger comes with a special power and given Trinity is hilarious, she jumped onboard and well, again, this is the greatest season of all time.

Oh but don’t worry, Inspector Jaida is on the case and she will get all the answers for us. Whatever that means.

The next day Monet welcomed the trio of starred girls, while Trinity was a little disappointed that she should, technically, have a damn star by now. Soooo, Jaida and Trinity are the top in the ball, I’m guessing? Before I could make any more predictions, Ru arrived to play a little game of hung man with the dolls and the Pit Crew. And well, like The Viv, I’m dripping. Or in Ginger Minj speak, my basement is flooded. Jinkx took out the only puzzle with the answer of Vanna White Party. Which led into this week’s Maxi Challenge, the BALL. First category the dolls would be walking the runway in game show hostess glam for Vanna White Realness. The second category would feature Wheel of Fortune’s famous Before and After, like Diana Ross Matthews. Or in my mind RuPaul Simon, because seeing that duo would be hilarious.

Closing out the ball the dolls would be rocking Realness of Fortune Eleganza. Aka a garment made from scratch with the dolls spinning a wheel to pick their inspiration city. Jinkx got the lavender fields of Provence, Shea won White Cliffs of Dover, Monet jagged the Emerald Isle, Jaida got the Black Sand Beach, Raja got Gold of the Golden Pagoda, Yvie won $500 and then $1000 before getting bankrupted before The Viv finally won money on the show, $1000 dollars, then $500 and then finally got a city with the Blue Hole of Belize before Trinity got bankrupted. This left Yvie to get the Pink City of Jaipur and Trinity getting the straggler of the Red Square of Russia.

With everyone’s colours sorted, the dolls split up to collect their supplies before The Vivienne admitted she would be playing it safe with the design. Given she doesn’t really wear blue, ever. Trinity meanwhile was slowly making a ruffle and driving everyone mad, while Monet admitted she hasn’t made a dress since the infamous sponge look. Raja meanwhile was feeling a little nervous given this is one of her strengths and she doesn’t have a fat arse blunt or two bottles of wine, which makes up her usual process. Jinkx was in a battle with the sewing machine and honestly was not feeling fortunate. That being said, she was glad to have lucked out by blocking one of the sewers and had settled for the critique of, it’s a dress. Since that would be a step up for her in design challenges. Shea meanwhile was worried how to bring a non-bridal white look, given she already served it in All Stars 5.

Ru dropped by to check in on her daughters with Jinkx outlining her strategy and admitting she is still terrible at sewing. But, she hoped to braid her way into a gown. Monet was feeling her 70s oats and ready to Survivor the competition to the crown. Jaida was ready to pull off a very technical dress, given she made her entire Season 12 wardrobe. Yvie meanwhile was trying to punk up pink, like Pink or the girl from my school that looks like Pink. Allegedly.

After Ru departed, Jaida started to worry she may have been too ambitious with her design, though doubled down on the fact she was here to cement her legacy, not rest on it. And yes, I love Jaida’s entire vibe. Oh and then everyone thirsted over Monet’s booty which, I get it as a fellow booty queen. Shea meanwhile decided to lean into bridal despite having served it once before, while Trinity was continuing to work out a full on gown and ugh, she is so damn talented. Yvie meanwhile made a seam and Raja a vagina. While Jinkx was getting into the Season 5 mindset, stressed about the mess she was in until Trinity dropped by, gave her a pep talk and some ideas and well, I love to see it.

Runway Day arrived with Jinkx perking up after a spank from Trinity before the dolls started beating their mugs. While The Viv was not impressed by any of the doll’s accent work, Trinity and Monet were doubling down on their alliance before Jinkx dropped by to shade their not-so-secret alliance. And then was promptly offered a spot in the alliance and while she didn’t sign up to an official deal, she reminded the girls that she appreciates what both of them have done for her throughout the competition. Given they didn’t get an agreement, Trinity approached Shea to see if she wanted in on the game and well, Shea was not into it either. So when Jaida approached, she outed Trinity’s approach to building an alliance, with Jaida just as disinterested in joining. But also a little confused and just wanting to do her best.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Kirby Howell-Baptiste on the panel as the dolls kicked off the Realness of Fortune Ball with their Vanna White Realness looks with Vanna White watching from the wall, stunning in a shimmering black gown and ugh, I love her. Perfection. Iconic. Again, best season ever. Jinkx was stunning, also in black, gagged to see Vanna on the runway. Shea and Monet were perfect in white, Jaida was adorable in a stunning silver gown, complete with lighting up the letters as she walked along. Raja almost died when she saw Vanna White in her perfect purple gown. Yvie was full Yvie, noticing Vanna at the very last minute while The Viv gave all peach in a velvet gown – completely unaware who Vanna was – and Trinity was a sparkling beauty, giving full pageant perfection.

On the Before and After runway, Jinkx was perfection as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Fonda, Shea was a sexy Gold Tooth Fairy, Monet gave Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth realness, serving neon paint in the palace. Jaida’s Bag Lady in Red was stun. Ning and ugh, I love her. Raja’s Olivia Newton-John Waters was so damn gorgeous and camp. Yvie was hilarious as Cardi Bea Arthur and ugh, it was hot and oh so golden. The Vivienne meanwhile was amazing as Princess Diana Ross before Trinity stole the show as RuPaul Charles II, which was a dandy delight.

Closing the show with their made looks, Jinkx managed to sew her gown and well, it was a gown. Which is what she wanted. Shea was a sexy New Orleans bride, Monet was having fun as a disco diva, Jaida was insanely talented, serving architectural perfection, Myanmar Golden Pagoda Raja was fucking stunning, Yvie was dramatic in blushing pink while The Vivienne was gorgeous in baby blue before Trinity too gave insane perfection in what she whipped up in a day.

The judges lived for Jinkx’s first two looks for being right in the pocket, while they were glad she was able to pull together the outfit. Which led to her praising Trinity for having her back. Shea received universal praise for the looks, whether the Vanna White look gave Vanna White or not. Monet was praised for giving fun and wit, while Jaida rightly received all the praise for everything she did, but more importantly for making the look she did in the space of a day. Raja too received universal praise for each look, despite the fact they wanted more John Waters in the middle look. Which, lies. Yvie was praised for thinking outside the box for each category while The Viv was beloved, despite not giving much Vanna like Shea. And then Trinity received top marks, bought the vowels and shut it down with each category.

As the dolls untucked Jaida was confident in her performance, though nervous given a lot of her sisters also served killer looks. The Viv was already keen for another ball while Jinkx was just thrilled to see Vanna live, in the flesh. While Yvie caught her ring in her outfit, the dolls praised Shea for giving full wedding glam while they were busy thirsting over Monet’s wig colour. Viv added some shade asking whose outfit they would want to wear, with pretty much everyone wanting to try on Raja’s though Jinkx feeling The Viv was more her vibe. They then gushed over Viv’s make-up before they were gagged to learn Jaida even made her damn boot covers. Which is ridiculous and talented. Oh and then everyone gagged Yvie given they were so proud of her for making her Cardi Bea Arthur look and well, it was too much.

Ultimately it was Trinity and Jaida who landed in the top with Trinity finally jagging a star, meaning she and Jaida are now part of a five person club. As soon as Beyonce’s Green Light kicked off though, it was very obvious that this was Jaida’s for the taking. While Trinity gave all the sex and comedy in the world, Jaida was on point from start to finish, feeling every lyric, hitting every letter and then playing air sax into a split. And yeah, no surprises that she took out the $10k and then blocked Jinkx. Because obviously.

Backstage Jaida was thrilled to have finally shine, once again asserting her dominance in design challenges. She was feeling vindicated, valedictorian and validation. The dolls congratulated Trinity for taking out her first star from two wins, which was the perfect introduction for Jinkx who joined her sisters and was once again charming and hilarious. And fine about being blocked, unless she wins this week and misses out on being the first queen to win two stars. Which totally means she is winning this week, right? As is Viv who is feeling very hungry for the win and well, let’s see if I’m right. Again, for the record.

In any event, we know that Raja will be robbed which is reassuring, only in its consistency.

The next day Jinkx arrived playing Bing Bang Bong on the ukulele and well, it was just as amazing as you’d expect. Though now we’re all going to have it in our head for days. Jaida meanwhile was being shady, pointing out Monet is the only person with a star that hasn’t been blocked. Well, until Trinity reminded her that she now has a star.

Ru dropped by to explain that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be improv-ing their way through the court show, Fairytale Justice. In two teams, the dolls would play out the cases of fairytale miscarriages of justice. And as winners of last week’s challenge, Jaida and Trinity were team captains, with Jaida going with Jinkx, Monet and Yvie while Trinity opted for Shea, Viv and were left with Raja. Team Jaida was covering the case of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf, while Team Trinity would act out Goldielocks’ break and enter at the bears’ house.

Team Jaida were all living for their roles, with Jinkx comfortable to take on any and all feedback and make her character as bizarre as possible. Because you know she is going to go for the win, despite being blocked. Over with Team Trinity, Raja was typecast as a sexy granny, while The Viv was ready to turn out her first ever improv challenge. And given she was going to turn Goldilocks into the fucken’ Chuckie girl, condragulations Viv! The one thing both teams could agree on is that their rival teams were going to turn it out.

Blow the House Down Boots was the first case to be argued with Jinkx delightfully demented, and ugh, I love it. She was vapid, she was wild and horny, and it was perfection. Yvie was the sexiest wolf on earth, Jaida was so fun and ridiculous and then Monet arrived and shut it down playing the straight guy of the scene and while it won’t give her a win, she was hella fun. Particularly when she started slapping the hell out of everyone and everything. As soon as The Vivienne skipped into the scene, it was clear she was going to land in the top. She barely uttered her first sentence before Shea started breaking with laughter. Though Shea did play a fun straight guy, Raja was a hilarious and thirsty grandmother, yelling at Michelle before Trinity arrived and was as manic and stupid as you’ve come to expect. Though it was far and away The Vivienne’s scene, as she cycled through the accents and was completely bonkers and well, it was the best.

Runway Day arrived with The Viv still running through the accents as the groups split up to talk through their performances with Raja praising The Viv standing out in their scene, despite the fact they all did so well. As everyone started to beat their mugs, Jaida was offering out Tajin shots as they kikied about their performances. Raja meanwhile spoke about not wanting to do an old lady again, while Yvie decided to not play a man again. They then got distracted by Jaida’s make-up as she was blending black and white, and joking about going on stage half baked and screaming at the judges for not giving them enough time. Oh and then Jinkx pointed out that they usually block the person that blocked the week before, so good luck to ya Jaida!

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman as Jaida absolutely slayed the Spikes on the Runway number in a Grace Jones in Mad Max style look. Jinkx gave the most glamorous echidna known to man while Monet was serving punk Valentina teas and well, it was good. Yvie served sexy scorpion, Trinity was a sexy, staked vampire, while The Viv was perfect in a light blue bodysuit with golden spikes. And it was so stunning. As was Raja’s shimmering mediaeval space warrior. Shea meanwhile was crazed in her hobble skirted purple fairy alien.

Jaida meanwhile received universal praise for all that she served this week, until Jinkx received even more praise for all that she did, and for being such a consummate professional and staying true to who she is. Monet was praised for stealing the show with her entrance, while the judges lived for her runway. They lived for Yvie’s killer runway and was praised for her commitment to the role. Trinity’s interpretation of the runway was beloved for being unexpected and they lived for how much fun Trinity is having this season. The judges had no idea what Shea’s runway was, but they lived for it and the way she made the straight guy Karen-bear role likeable. The Vivienne too received glowing, universal praise, besting even Jinkx with how much the judges lived for her and her instantly iconic runway. Obviously everyone was obsessed with Raja’s runway for the perfection it was and how well she delivered the character in the challenge, with Ru in particular living for her clear rebirth this season.

As the dolls untucked they quickly praised Yvie for looking so stunning on the runway and being so sexy in the challenge. Essentially, they were all horny for Yvie. They were also in agreement about The Vivienne in the top two this week, but weren’t sure who would be joining her because Jinkx, Raja and Yvie all got such good critiques. Which fired Raja up more than anything, given she has slayed each and every week, but has not received a star yet. Talk turned to how grateful Ru is for all of them for coming back before they decided to address the politics of blocking, with Jinkx not wanting to block someone on her team, but also not wanting to block someone without a star, narrowing down the list to Jaida and Monet. While everyone agreed that Monet, girl, The Viv is coming for you. Oh but she was in the bathroom the entire conversation, so who really knows. Jeffrey dropped backstage to kiki with the girls, saving The Viv from actually having to give an answer and well, Jeffrey is so hot, so let’s just enjoy that for all that he is.

Obviously Jinkx and The Vivienne took out victory, robbing Raja of yet another win and leaving us with a 6-way tie with one star. Since Jaida blew it for Jinkx. But whatever, because she was ready to kill Because Love is Gonna Save the Day by Whitney Houston. While The Vivienne also slayed the lip sync and gave all the attitude and emotion, I always have a soft spot for Jinkx’s brand of demented. Sadly for her though, The Viv straight up collected a xylophone from Jaida on the side of stage mid-song and played it to the beat and that was just unbeatable. As such, she took out the win and quickly blocked Monet and it was delightful as they bantered back and forth. Though me thinks Monet was well and truly fuming deep down inside.

As the dolls filed past me to return to the Werk Room, I reluctantly pulled Raja aside and told her that it was her turn. Reluctantly because she arguably should have three bloody stars already and the undisputed frontrunner, but alas, she has taken her sister Raven’s spot as the perennial bridesmaid. I pulled her in for a hug and instantly started ranting and raving about the robbery that we’ve witnessed week after week before she calmly told me that a) I was coming off a bit Tyra (Banks, thankfully) and b) she is having the best time and is just thrilled by the journey, winning be damned. While she was proud to be doing so well and to be performing to a new audience – and in HD – I handed her a big fat blunt and told her that next week WOULD be her week, otherwise I will be forced to key Ru and/or Michelle’s car. A promise I toasted to with a big ol’ jug of Boozy Rajafresca.

In an effort to push her back into the Winner’s Circle, I was inspired by one of her fellow member Aquaria but given Raja likes a tipple like me – and is of legal drinking age, I spiked it! Fresh and fruity with a nice warmth coming through with the addition of chilli (and the vodka, obvi), it is the perfect way to drink away a balmy summer evening.

Enjoy!

Boozy Rajafresca
Serves: 2 dear old friends.

Ingredients
1 batch Aguaria Fresca
½ cup vodka (or more or less, depending on the size of the watermelon and how strong you’d like it)
2 tsp chilli flakes

Method
Combine the Aguaria Fresca in a jug with the vodka and chilli, and give a good stir. Then down, happily.

The other option is to follow Aquaria’s recipe and just pop the vodka and chilli in the blender with everything else and then blitz. It doesn’t really matter how you get there, all that matters is the refreshment.


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