Salad

Palesar Taulad

Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the original Yontau members had their backs against the wall on each of the post-swap tribes. At new Yontau, Dante was busy targeting Dino who was quickly winning everyone else on the tribe over, while his only ally Phil worried about becoming collateral damage. On Masu, Toni took the chance to take control of the tribe, forming bonds with Steffi and Tejan, and pulling in Killarney to get revenge on her Yontaus. Which tragically cost Thoriso the game, despite the fact she knew being loyal to Felix would lead to her demise.

The next day things were very very awkward for Felix at Masu, given he was all alone. And while he desperately wanted to seek revenge, he knew he had to bide his time to really achieve his goals. Toni and Tejan meanwhile were locking in a vote against Killarney should they return to tribal council, with her assuring Felix that she will be protecting him. Despite the fact he is a number for Dante and Co. meaning it may not be in her best interests, given she is so well connected outside of Dante. Tejan meanwhile caught up with Felix and assured him that he will (also) be protecting him throughout the game and while he was super friendly to his face, Felix was ready to smack him and desperate to stop having to be nice to those in power.

Over at Yontau Phil and Dino were just desperately waiting for the merge, hoping it can save them from being on the wrong side of the numbers. Dante meanwhile was busy plotting how to get rid of Dino, even though he doesn’t have any numbers or power. His plan was to get Meryl to tell Dino about the (expired) idol and that he would be playing it, though given he was so strong with how he floated the plan with Meryl, Marian and Palesa, it was starting to become clear that he won’t have any allies left come merge. Oh and Marian was planning to pass off her diplomatic immunity to Steffi should Masu lose the upcoming challenge.

The tribes reassembled with Nico for the latest immunity challenge, this time played as individuals with everyone standing on a perch over the water holding a ball above their head. Last one standing winning tribal immunity, before both tribes attend tribal council and vote someone out of the losing tribe. Oh and the last one standing from each tribe will venture to the Outpost. Everyone was still standing after 15 minutes, leading to Nico upping the ante and forcing them to hold the ball over their heads, rather than balancing it on them. Almost immediately it cost Felix his place, quickly followed by Dante. They obviously started gossiping about their respective tribes and who they should target at the upcoming vote, which could be good news for Dino, given he and Felix are tight.

Shane was next to drop who suggested they vote out Dante, wait no, Dino. Palesa dropped out of nowhere and added to the Dino pile on before the pain became too much for Marian and she joined the pile on. After struggling for what felt like eternity, Killarney finally dropped leaving three per tribe to fight for immunity. Well, until Meryl dropped out of nowhere, leaving Phil and Dino to fight for their safety. While Toni started assuring Dino that he can drop and the Masu tribe will look after him and Phil, and help them take out someone. Dino eventually fell out of the challenge, handing Phil the trip to the Outpost. Marian meanwhile started floating the idea of using diplomatic immunity and guaranteeing another one of their numbers are safe. And while Dante was very against it, Meryl was all for it and suggested they band together to get rid of Palesa, given how close she is becoming with Dante. Out of nowhere, Phil dropped handing Masu immunity before Tejan, Steffi and Toni debated who should go, giving it to Toni as the only one yet to visit. 

After Nico handed immunity off to Masu, Marian pulled out her Diplomatic Immunity and used it to join the Masu tribe and save herself at the vote ahead. As Toni and Phil headed off to the Outpost, Dino was feeling nervous again while Palesa admitted both tribes attending tribal council truly changes things as their fates are no longer just in their tribe’s hands.

Back at Yontau Palesa was growing more and more nervous about the vote, feeling like she had to pledge her allegiance to an alliance ASAP. She caught up with Meryl and Dino about Marian playing the Diplomatic Immunity with Dino concerned about her influencing things at Masu. Which was making Meryl super excited. Speaking of Marian and Masu, everyone was quite sombre which was confusing to Tejan given they are all likely to have made it to the merge. Steffi opened up to us about being disappointed by Marian’s arrival, wanting to have used the swap to build her resume on her own. Which is something Marian picked up on, given everyone was pretty damn frosty since she arrived.

Over at Yontau Dante and Shane were worried about two tribes reconvening at tribal council, particularly given they have no idea what is happening over at the Outpost. Shane suggested they go hunting for another idol, given Dante is unlikely to play the idol for anyone other than himself. Completely unaware Dante’s idol is dead. Felix and Marian were catching up at Masu, with Felix worried about which side to go with between his current ride or die Dino and Dante, his ride or die from their OG season. Steffi meanwhile was disappointed to have let Toni go to the Outpost, with Marian catching up with her to see if she was ok. Which put a target on Steffi’s back, just as she feared, as Felix, Tejan and Killarney speculated why Marian came over and what her agenda could be. Particularly focused on her potentially just being there to gather intel ahead of the suspected merge. With Marian just trying to assure Steffi their OG alliance is still solid, despite Steffi warning her that should there be another tribal immunity, there is no guarantee Marian will be safe.

Bouncing back to Yontau, Meryl shared her fears about Marian leaving to Dino, opening up about how difficult it is to be aligned with Dante given he is volatile and takes a lot of her energy. Thinking Dante is immune, she then floated the idea of getting rid of Palesa and while Dino was obviously keen for anyone else to be a target, he argued that Palesa is far nicer to him than Shane and would rather get rid of him. Meryl then shared that eventually, sooner rather than later, she will turn on Dante, but right now, she would rather target his potential number Palesa. Speaking of Palesa, she caught up with Dino and the duo put everything on the table, outlining their numbers on either tribe and how they can navigate the merge. With Palesa obviously doubling down on getting rid of Shane in the hope of getting in with Toni’s post merge numbers.

We finally arrived at the Outpost where Phil was desperate for a little bit of safety. Sadly for him, the advantage on offer was for two half idols should they correctly guess who will be voted out at the next tribal council. Which are huge stakes, but could screw over one of them should their alliance not last long. As such, the duo sat down to talk about the upcoming vote and spilled the tea on the rumours floating around each tribe. Their initial plan was to split the vote between Dante and Shane, while Phil suggested getting rid of Meryl to really make Dante feel isolated. Ultimately switching back to Shane at the last minute, while hyping up the hatred for Dante to make him play the idol.

Sadly for their idol chances, it was at that moment that Shane found a hidden immunity idol. Wait, no, it was Diplomatic Immunity and since Marian had already used it, it was null and void. 

The mood around camp in general was very tense, with Shane sharing his Diplomatic Immunity find with Meryl and suggesting that while it is expired, he can use it to create a little chaos. Concerned about everyone being kinda safe based with their idols or the assumptions of people having one, Meryl was considering playing her tribal council pass, given it is likely going to come down between her and Palesa as the safe options. 

Phil returned from the Outpost and told a little half-truth story about the half-idol, before he pulled Dino aside and suggested they get rid of Shane. Though he didn’t give all the truth. Palesa meanwhile was concerned about working with Dino and Phil, though knew she had to make a decision and felt they were safe given they were connected with Toni. As such, they were all planning to load all their votes on Shane.

Toni returned to Masu and filled them in, kinda, on the Outpost and suggested they all vote out Dante. Marian felt she was shifty and Killarney could tell she was lying, while she disappeared to fill Steffi in on the true plan to get rid of Shane instead. Sadly for her, Steffi didn’t love the idea and as such, was planning to mix things up herself. She pulled Killarney aside and suggested they join with Marian and Shane, and along with Felix, can take control of the game.

Over at Yontau Dante was still pushing for the vote against Phil, while Meryl quietly pulled him aside and suggested they team up to get rid of Palesa without Dante knowing. Not only does it keep them both safe, it weakens whatever Dante is planning moving forward and as such, they were both on board. Phil and Dino caught up about Meryl and debated whether they can trust her, with the latter concerned about what she can do moving forward and feeling like she is the far smarter move than the already abrasive Shane. Phil took that suggestion to Palesa, agreeing that she is totally more dangerous come merge and as such, was locked in on taking out Meryl. Shane then caught up with Phil to float the idea of getting rid of Palesa and assured him that he has never lied to him. He then spoke about Dante saying he has an idol, though admitted he is yet to see it. Oh but he has one. Which pushed Phil over the edge, given so many people are claiming to have an idol now.

Back at Masu Marian caught up with Steffi and Felix, worried about the perceived abundance of advantages and suggested maybe they vote for Palesa instead. Particularly since it weakens Shane. They rejoined the rest of their tribe and suggested the idea, which annoyed Toni given she was desperate to get rid of Shane. Steffi made sure that Toni was very vocal about her plan coming out on top, in the hope it would make everyone concerned about navigating around her throughout the season.

Meryl and Dante meanwhile caught up with the latter very nervous about going home, debating who would be best to target to keep them safe, given Marian would be annoyed if Shane goes, while Meryl ws nervous about how dangerous Palesa is. Particularly since she has been playing such a social game this season.

At tribal council Palesa was nervous about preemptively playing a merge game, as Marian mouthed to Dino to play his idol for Shane. Dante was concerned about the previous relationships coming into play and muddying the waters, while Shane suggested the increased prize money would make things more complicated. Relationships be damned. Phil spoke about being a free agent coming in and glad to build new bonds to push ahead, while Dino was nervous about navigating through the future merge phase.

After everyone started whispering amongst themselves, Nico grew sick of it and suggested everyone get up to gossip. Marian rallied her former allies to join the Palesa vote, while Meryl was worried about the votes being split between her and Shane. There were whispers of Shane, Palesa and Meryl and well, it was all confusing. While everyone was just nervous, as Tejan questioned why they are now planning on turning on one of their own. He then blew things up and asked people to clarify the plan, with Shane pulling out his pouch and suggesting he has an idol, while Steffi begged for them to just damn vote already. Tejan talking about being annoyed but feeling like his hands are tied and as such, he was fine to just get it over with.

With that the tribe voted, Dante outed his idol had expired, as did Shane and his expired pass while Dino held on firm to his real one. As Nico read the votes, much to Tejan and to my horror, they piled up on Queen Palesa and tragically booted her from the game. Just before the merge, which officially went down at tribal council.

Palesa didn’t need a map to find me hiding in Loser Lodge, following the sound of my screaming tears, heartbroken she missed out on the chance to take out a well deserved victory. Despite playing a very strong game her first go, she came in and completely changed the way she played, learning from her mistakes and changing strategy to keep everyone on their toes. And without a twist, I firmly believe she would have made it through the week unscathed. But alas, twists twisted and as such, we had to drown our sorrows with a Palesar Taulad.

While I experienced a slight trauma upon the discovery on the abundance of anchovies washing through a caesar salad, I quickly moved on after realising it tastes good. Creamy, salty and oh so crunchy, this salad is a sensory delight.

Enjoy!

Palesar Taulad
Serves: 2 icons feeling the blues.

Ingredients
4 streaky bacon rashers, diced
2 eggs
20g butter
2 garlic clove, minced
3 slices sourdough, cut into a 1cm dice
1 cos lettuce, washed, dried and roughly chopped
½ cup parmesan cheese, shaved
¼ cup Caesharonne Salad Dressing

Method
Pop a skillet over medium heat and get a pot of water on another hob and bring to the boil. Once the skillet is hot, add the bacon and cook, stirring, until nice and crispy. Remove from the skillet with a slotted spoon. Once the pot of water is boiling, gently add the eggs and hard boil.

Moving back to the skillet, add the butter and garlic and saute for a minute. Add the bread and cook, agitating frequently, until they become golden brown  – or in my case, brown brown – and crisp.

Combine the lettuce, parmesan, bacon and croutons in a bowl with the dressing and toss to coat. Remove the eggs from the pot, peel and cut into quarters and toss over the salad. Then devour, joyously.


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Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 7, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 8, Salad, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on All Winners the dolls put on a charity variety show for their penultimate challenge. And given it was going to be an epic show, Ru was generous enough to give out THREE stars each for the top two. Meaning whoever landed in the top got an express pass to the finale. Shea did an original song and was 100% Janet while Monet was the Phantom of the Opera, snatching their place in the top two, booking a ticket to the finale alongside Jinkx. As the person with the most stars, Monet had to break the tie between Jaida and Trinity. And while it was heartbreaking to watch for poor Jaida, Monet selected her twinner to join her. But don’t despair, because Jaida and the rest of the bottom four would ALSO compete for a crown. That of Queen of She Already Done Had Herses.

Backstage the top four were giddy to be eligible for the final crown and $200k, though given the bottom four are still in it for $50k, none of them were overly sad. Raja asked Monet how it felt to have the most stars, while she calmly explained it just means she is better than the rest of her sisters. Monet apologised for crushing Jaida’s dream, explaining she went with Trinity because she won more challenges. And they have seen some shit. While Jaida charmingly cussed her out for going with someone she has known for years, over someone she met on the first day of the season. The Vivienne was just giddy to be in the running for some money after winning a web series on her season, Jinkx gently told everyone she wants it the most and then Monet and Trinity gagged nobody by admitting they had an alliance.

LalapaRuza Day arrived with everyone a little subdued before talk turned to who they think will win the She Already Done Had Herses Crown, with Raja backing herself, while The Viv and Yvie pointed out they have each won a couple of lip syncs in their time.

Ru dropped by to thank the girls for building the legacy of the show before giving the girls one final Mini Challenge with the Pit Crew. Which was actually just getting into 15 minute quick drag and rocking a soul training. Jaida was obviously adorable and charming and looked stunning while doing it, Raja gave stoned aunty realness in all the right ways, Monet was hilarious, Shea was sexy AF, Trinity was a creepy mess and I LIVE, Jinkx did a Natasha Lyonne reprise while Yvie was a purple Diana Ross and The Viv was ultimate chav queen and ugh, I love them all. Which is the sentiment Raja shared, feeling like the 8 of them were destined to be here in this moment together and how she is reinvigorated by knowing them. AND AM I CRYING?!

We pivoted to the mainstage where it was family only as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross took their seats as the dolls stomped the Grand Finale Eleganza Runway. Jaida was stunning in a shimmering, dripping white delight in honour of old Hollywood black excellence, Raja was captivating as an iridescent insect queen and was fucking fierce. The Viv gave a sexy black showgirl ball gown, in stark contrast to her original finale gown. Yvie gave three tier cotton candy cake, Jinkx was a stunning medieval maven, Monet was perfection in a futuristic Wakandan nude illusion, Shea was a frilled warm toned delight while Trinity gave baby pink princess realness.

The judges obviously felt Jaida was absolute perfection on the runway, as she was every damn week. And funny, charming, naughty and delightful. Raja rightly was praised for being the look queen of the season and for being such a joy to watch, each and every week. The Vivienne was praised for being such a powerhouse, serving stunning looks and slaying as a performer. They lived for Yvie giving something different each week and just being so good. Jinkx was universally beloved for just being so damn good at every thing she did. Monet was praised for bringing the soul and having the best time. Shea was praised for always having a message and elevating every damn moment, while Trinity was rightly praised for being 100% joy all season, and for leaning into the stupid and being kind with all her sisters.

Ru once again thanked the dolls for all that they have done, squeaking out a tear as she praised them for being heroic beacons for the community. A sobbing Monet then thanked Ru for giving them this show and the platform, and for the love she has given them all throughout the years.

And again, I’m crying.

We then got another live performance from Ru with some creepy/sexy clowns. And now I’m horny crying and so uncomfortable with myself.

Thankfully we moved on with Jaida, Raja, The Vivienne and Yvie returning to the stage for the She Already Done Had Herses Lip Sync Smackdown Lalaparuza For The Crown. Zaddy Alex dragged out the wheel with The Viv selected to compete in the first round, before Alex’s second spin chose her opponent as Yvie. Bruno and Bryce returned with The Viv selecting Bryce’s box, meaning she and Yvie would be lip syncing to Push It by my girls Salt’n’Pepa. Much to her regret, knowing this is right in Yvie’s wheelhouse.

As soon as the song kicked off it was clear the fear was very well founded as Yvie had all the energy and perfect moves for the song. Backflipping around the stage and being an all around star. That being said, The Viv was hilarious, giving iconic comedy and playing to her strengths, mocking what Yvie was doing and living her best life. Tragically though, it wasn’t enough, as Yvie progressed to the final round, leaving The Viv to finish in 7th/8th place. Which really doesn’t show how damn well she performed this season, because she ate. And was more than deserving of her participation sceptre.

Jaida and Raja took to the floor where Bruno returned to unveil their song, Let’s Hear It for The Boy and well, these two killed it. As you would expect. Raja lived every damn moment of the song, exuding joy and once again proved she is still a total star. While Jaida hit every lyric and kicked and flipped around the stage, there was no competing with Aunty Raja’s comedy, fun and general vibe. As such, she progressed to lip sync for the She Already Done Had Herses Crown while the newest icon Jaida sashayed away. No doubt with a new, massive following of fans and confidence in herself as a performer. And ugh, fuck I love Jaida. Particularly because she wanted Raja to buy her a wine AND farted in Michelle’s direction as her exit line.

We then pivoted to the top four as Jinkx, Monet, Trinity and Shea arrived for their first round of lip syncs with Alex’s wheel selecting Jinkx for slot number one, facing off against Shea Coulee. Jinkx then got lucky with Bruno’s box, scoring my girl Lady Gaga’s Judas as their song. Both of the dolls were nervous to be facing off against their sister, which was correct given they were both absolute fire. Jinkx served witchy vamp while Shea was desperate not to suffer the same fate as her last lip sync for the crown, serving a sexy reveal and being an all around bad arse. But yeah, there was no taking my eyes off Jinkx and the magnetic fire she had. Carrying her all the way to lip syncing for the crown. Much to her shock. With Shea being such a talented star, she was just overjoyed for her sister and grateful for her third journey in the competition. And well, if you do not stan Shea, please go to another website, because we stan Shea in there ‘ere parts.

The twinners took the stage and learnt from Bryce’s box that they’ll be lip syncing to – vom – So What by Pink. And despite that, they both served. While I hate that song they were both on fire. They had the attitude and all the right vibes, were absolutely hilarious and bounced off each other so damn well. I mean, it was a SHOW, as Trinity flipped around the stage, Monet was jump splitting and both had perfect comedic timing. And well, if there could be another double crowning moment to face Jinkx, I would take it, but ultimately Ru selected Monet to proceed to lip sync for the crown. And Trinity being Trinity, she was just absolutely charming and gracious in defeat and well, stan her too because she had been an absolute joy this season.

AND OH MY GOD TRINITY AND SHEA WERE FELLED BY A LIP SYNC FOR THE CROWN A SECOND TIME.

Raja and Yvie returned to the stage to lip sync for the secondary crown of the season to Sisters Are Doing it For Themselves. And based on the song alone, you should already know that my favourite Raja ate. Then came back for second and thirds. Yvie is obviously a killer lip syncer and performer, giving acrobatic perfection in every corner of the stage AND a fake-out failed wig reveal. But Raja is just SO enchanting, feeling every lyric and not only having the best time, but dragging you along for all the joy. And well, that was all it took to give Aunty Raja the Queen of She Already Done Had Herses Crown. And again, I AM CRYING.

Raja started to sob as she thanked Ru for putting her life on the trajectory it has had, with Ru praising her spirit and for being such a star. And well, she loves Yvie just as much. Which is why she also got a sceptre, as Ru reminded her that this stage is forever hers, no matter what adversity she may face. Oh and Raja was just grateful for the cashola.

Jinkx and Monet took to the stage for the final lip sync for the title of Queen of All Queens, to Swish Swish by Katy Perry – vom – and my dear Nicky Minaj. And well, Jinkx was desperate for the crown, while Monet vowed to leave everything on the stage to snatch it from her. Monet slow flossed, Jinkx served Carole Baskin realness, Monet flung cash, Jinkx stayed in the comedic pocket, Monet vogued and well, it was a show as both the dolls fought valiantly. Though ultimately, obviously, it was Jinkx that took out the victory and watching her breakdown over the honour was just beautiful. As is her love for her fellow sisters.

And seeing how happy Monet was for her sister was just beautiful, because she, like everyone else in the cast, is an absolute star and easily could have snatched the crown. Since she totally dominated the lip sync. I mean, did you see the lipstick she had prepared with Jinkx’s name written on it? Iconic.

Conveniently, the queen that won the most challenges also went on to win the season, so thankfully I didn’t have to sit around awkwardly with a runner-up, alone in the VIP style and instead got to have a true celebration.

As soon as Jinkx exited stage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and told her just how proud of her I was. While Jinkx had always been a massive favourite to take out an All Winners season as we all dreamed of getting one, so managed to not only live up to the expectations but exceed them with flying colours. Every week, she was consistently perfect and showed just how versatile a performer she is. And that, to me, is more than enough reason to split an Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon salad.

This classic Meatball Shop salad truly proves the Springfield you don’t make friends with salad mantra wrong. It is fresh, zingy, hearty and oh so delicious. And the perfect way to honour the inaugural Queen of all Queens. (Because we better get another winner’s season ASAP)!

Enjoy!

Everything but the Kitchen Sinkx Monsoon
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
¼ cup olive oil, plus extra for frying
1 large portabello mushroom, stem removed and cap cut into a large dice
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 5cm lengths
1 romaine lettuce, trimmed, washed and torn into small pieces
½ fennel head, thinly sliced
30ml sherry vinegar
1 tsp Dijon mustard

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook the mushroom with ½ a teaspoon of salt until it starts to brown and the liquid has evaporated. Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the asparagus for a couple of minutes, before draining and running under cold water.

Combine the mushroom, asparagus, lettuce and fennel in a bowl. Whisk the ¼ cup of olive oil with the sherry vinegar, mustard and remaining salt before tossing to coat, serving and devouring. Regally.


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Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika

Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the tribal switch was impacting each tribe in vastly different ways. Over at Yontau, the former Masu members had the majority and planned to systematically eliminate the Yontaus after Phil botched a plan to blindside Dante. Over at new Masu, the original Masus were similarly enjoying good fortune, this time despite a numbers disadvantage. In part because the Yontau members didn’t get along, but more importantly, because Pinty was difficult to be around and an easy, unifying target.

Back at camp Felix and Thoriso were well and truly on the outs after Killarney defected to get rid of Pinty, while Steffi and Toni tried to apologise and make them feel better. Tejan assured them that the vote wasn’t necessarily down tribal lines and instead was against Pinty being a little grumpy. And well, tomorrow is always another day in this game. Said next day, Toni awoke before the rest of the tribe, nudging Tejan awake and sending him to go hunt for a hidden immunity idol while she kept watch. Once he found the idol however, he was disappointed to discover it was only for the other tribe with them quickly planning to give it to Dino to try and protect him from Dante.

Over at Yontau Shane and Phil were catching up about Dante’s mood, with Shane assuring him that while Dante wants Dino and him out as soon as possible, that isn’t what he or Meryl want. And as such, he is ready to make a move ASAP. And will put his head on the line to save him. That being said, Phil isn’t really buying it and is ready to outlast Shane on their second go together.

The tribes reconvened with Nico for the latest immunity challenge where they would chop through a rope to release a Miley-style wrecking ball, manoeuvre it through obstacles and then use it to smash three large tiles. With the winners getting immunity and pizza, clearly unaware it is a Survivor curse. But, you know, whatever. Felix got Masu out to an early lead chopping through their ropes before tapping back in for a third go and extending the lead. Well, until Thoriso struggled to get up a wall and allowed Yontau to overtake them. While Felix worked hard to get them back in the game, Dino and Dante formed a formidable duo as they knocked out tile after tile and despite a late-breaking push, sent Masu back to tribal council. But not before Toni gave Dino a snuggly hug to hand over Tejan’s idol.

They headed back to camp where Dino was in shock that not a soul noticed the idol exchange. To try and cover their tracks, he told the tribe that she was trying to fill him in on what was happening on the other tribe. After he excused himself from the camp, Palesa told everyone that she is sure that she witnessed an idol exchange between he and Toni and as such, they all needed to be wary. Shane pulled Dino aside to fill him in on the new lay of the land, reiterating how much Dino can trust him and should, essentially, pledge his undying loyalty to Shane.

Marian and Meryl meanwhile were growing more and more nervous of Dino, given he is clearly closer to Toni than them and as such decided he needs to go. Sadly, he was busy catching Phil up on the idol and started planning how they could use it to survive. Palesa dropped by and told Dino she caught him handing off the idol and all three agreed that Shane is not to be trusted and as such, started brainstorming ideas to get rid of him ASAP.

Back at camp a dejected Masu tried to congratulate each other on fighting hard in the challenge. Thoriso meanwhile was worried about how to get herself out of the current predicament, while Felix too was ready to fight to stay alive. Toni caught Steffi up on the idol exchange and begged her to keep it quiet from Tejan, because they need Dino to feel loyal to them. Tejan joined the girls and the talk turned to the upcoming tribal council, wondering how to navigate a potential idol play from Thoriso and Felix. Speaking of Felix, Toni caught up to him and assured him that she still wants to work with him, outlined the Dino idol exchange but didn’t give him anything else to put his mind at ease.

Felix caught up with Tejan and Thoriso, telling them that Toni told him about the exchange given she knows he caught her. With Tejan explaining how he found it and all of them agreeing that giving it to Dino was a great idea. They then talked strategy and Tejan realised that he vibes better with Thoriso and as such, questioned whether he should be turning on Toni instead as he needs a collaborator, not undying loyalty.

Toni meanwhile was feeling in control of the tribe, catching up with Steffi to debate who is the best person to get rid of out of loyal Killarney or Thoriso. WIth them settling on the safer bet being to stick with Killarney and vote out Thoriso. Sadly just as Tejan was trying to put the target on Killarney instead. He caught up with Toni and pointed out that Killarney doesn’t bring them any other potential options, while keeping Thoriso could give them more wiggle room later in the game. After they locked in a split vote, Tejan realised that he could change things up and protect Thoriso, though was unsure what exactly the cost would be moving forward with his OG allies.

At tribal council Tejan spoke about how things weren’t too chaotic given there is a majority. Felix joked that it clearly meant he and Thoriso are in trouble tonight. While Tejan tried to backpedal, Thoriso doubled down that there is nothing she can do to change their minds if they don’t see the value you can add to their game. While Nico told her it was defeatist, she argued that it is realistic and knowing there may not be something she can do, she is still going to pitch it. Nico asked Killarney how she hooked up with the Masus to form a majority, essentially saying she is just more mature and loyal. 

Felix spoke about how disappointed it was to come into tribal knowing it might be his last, giving a final pitch to keep him. Toni tried to say that being voted out in a returning season is kind of a compliment, with everyone begging not to be complimented tonight. With that the tribe voted and Thoriso stood firm in her alliance with Felix, and Tejan to OG Masu, leading to a 2-2-2 vote between the original Yontau members. After revoting, Thoriso’s loyalty to Felix ended up being her undoing as the tribe banded together to boot her from the game.

Thoriso was her usual, delightful self as she arrived at Loser Lodge, knowing she did all that she could. I pulled her in and agreed that once again, she was playing a stellar game and frankly, the only reason she got eliminated was bad luck of the swap. With that, we laughed, cried and celebrated her second go with Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika.

Less your traditional salad and more an orgy of delicious roasted flavours thrown in a bowl, this salad packs a spicy kick and fills you with unending joy. Which is just what you need after 2.5 weeks eating pap. Or when you want to feel healthy in winter.

Enjoy!

Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
800g sweet potatoes, washed and cut into wedges
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 chorizos, sliced into thick coins
½ cup sour cream
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp Harissa Oleynik
salt and pepper, to taste
1 bunch watercress, leaves picked

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C. Toss the sweet potatoes with the olive oil and transfer to a baking sheet, and roast for 30 minutes, or until golden and charred.

Meanwhile, pop a skillet over medium heat and cook the chorizos until crisp and glistening with the oozing oil.

Whisk together the sour cream, garlic, lemon zest and juice, Harissa Oleynik with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, toss the sweet potato and chorizo in a serving dish, sprinkle with watercress and drizzle with the dressing. Then devour, joyously.


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Corn, Capsicum and Halomar Zahlad

Main, Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor Jeffrey decided to get shady and returned the Do or Die Twist to the game, which yes, we all hate. So thankfully, it was once again a total bust and Queen Lindsay lived to fight another day. Sadly, it wasn’t a good episode for all our queens as Drea trusted Omar with information about her Knowledge is Power advantage. And then our King brutally neutered its power and blocked every single one of her plans before uniting the tribe to get her out of the game.

Back at camp Lindsay was thrilled to have overcome the Do or Die drama, with the tribe all genuinely appearing to be glad she was saved. Though maybe that is because Omar set off some epic drama at tribal council to get rid of Drea and well, that always makes a survivor feel good. None more so than Lindsay, who now  has an idol because the final amulet is gone and Mike feels like he owes Omar, making him grateful. And for everyone else, Omar painted the biggest target on his back since Drea pointed out he is the one that orchestrated her demise, so that is a win for everyone. Oh and Mike has zero intention of protecting Omar, instead wanting to get rid of him before he could cross him too. 

As everyone slept, Mike and Maryanne caught up, with Mike reiterating that Omar is only looking out for Omar. Maryanne meanwhile was already well on the journey of wanting him gone, since the jury had just watched Omar pull off an epic move and now was the frontrunner to win, should he make it. Instead, she planned to use her extra vote to have her moment in the sun and usurp his place in power. And yas, Maryanne, work!

The next day Maryanne caught up with Omar, Lindsay and Romeo, with Maryanne sharing how paranoid Mike was becoming while Lindsay instead focused on how necessary it was to take out Jonathan. Said duo meanwhile were down by the shore to talk through their options before Omar joined them, unaware that Jonathan is well and truly ready to get rid of both him and Lindsay. And put an end to the Taku domination.

Just like that the tribe met up with Jeffrey for another reward challenge where they would have to untangle a spool of rope until they could make it to a series of obstacles, which they would then traverse before, you guessed it, solve a puzzle! Oh and more importantly, the winner could choose between chicken and veggies or a cake and cookies feast.

As the challenge got underway, Jonathan got out to an early lead while Maryanne axed herself multiple times and almost took out a camera person, laughing in delight the whole time. Lindsay started to close the gap with Jonathan before everyone caught up at the puzzle. Because yeah, it is a puzzle. Somehow, out of nowhere, Omar found his rhythm and quickly solved the puzzle, taking out victory. And dare I say it, grew the target on his back. We then got a touching moment where Omar shared that he powered through the challenge to make his niece proud. Sadly though, the joy quickly turned to shade as Jeff told him he could pick two people to join him for chicken, or three if he goes with cake. So he obviously went with cake, selecting Romeo, Maryanne and then Mike.

Which only fired up the challenge beasts even more. (I assume).

The victors disappeared down the beach to enjoy their feast, Romeo in particular, given he has not had a reward all season. While Omar spoke about feeling guilty about not picking Jonathan, he shared with us that he is thrilled to be making things more difficult for the beast. Speaking of Jonathan, he and Lindsay were both pretending to still be aligned as they smashed all their rice. When the two groups came back together, Lindsay and Mike went for a walk, with Lindsay assuring him that as long as Jonathan doesn’t have immunity, he is fine. 

Mike went back to Jonathan to loop him in on Lindsay’s idol – oh, she told him about her idol – and told him that they need to guarantee she doesn’t take out immunity this week so that she can’t use said idol to protect Omar. He then ran to Maryanne to push for her to take out Omar too, assuring her that he would play his idol for her at the final five, unaware that she has her own idol and as such doesn’t need him. But in any event, she is thrilled to get rid of Omar. Mike then told Maryanne about Lindsay’s amulet idol and given she wasn’t aware of things, she was also ready to get rid of her instead since she is clearly just a goat to Lindsay.

The tribe reconnected with Probst for this week’s immunity challenge where they would each race through obstacles collecting puzzle steps, build a ladder, collect a bag of balls and then land said balls on a table maze. Jonathan obviously got out to an early lead, while Lindsay and Romeo nipped at his heels. Lindsay and Omar took over and started to pull away and got to work on their balls, with Lindsay whipping through and starting on the maze ahead of everyone. Eventually Jonathan, Omar and Mike joined her, with Jonathan landing his first ball just ahead of Lindsay. As they tried to manoeuvre their second ball towards the final slot, Lindsay dropped before Jonathan dropped just at the very end. Which gave her enough time to land her ball and take out her second individual immunity.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Lindsay on her win, while she was just thrilled to come out on top of Jonathan. Speaking of Jonathan, he was nervous about Lindsay playing her idol on Omar, so instead, he and Mike planned to take out Romeo. Lindsay assured Jonathan that Mike was the target before she caught up with Maryanne and Romeo to lock in the vote against him. While Omar took care of Mike. The duo then caught up, with Lindsay assuring Omar she has no intention of playing her idol as she doesn’t want it back in circulation.

Sadly for both of them, Maryanne was still pushing ahead with the Omar plan and caught up with Mike to talk through the plan. And Mike had changed his mind and wanted to play it safe and target Romeo and get rid of him instead. As such, Maryanne approached Romeo and looped him in on the extra vote and set in motion the plan to band together to get rid of Omar. Maryanne returned to Mike and Jonathan, telling them that with her extra vote, they could split the vote between Romeo and Omar, blindsiding Lindsay and Omar and sending the latter from the game. Barring any shenanigans at tribal council, obviously.

Right on cue the tribe arrived at tribal where Omar spoke about worrying that this one could be as wild as the last. Romeo spoke about the dynamics changing as everyone looked towards making decisions of who to sit with at the end, rather than how to get there. Lindsay agreed that they need to start looking at threats, while Omar mentioned he has been looking at threats for the entire game and now there are just less places to hide. Maryanne meanwhile spoke about feeling less on the bottom and that she was finally able to think, while Lindsay admitted she is feeling confident with the plans she is involved in. But can never guarantee she is the right plan. 

Mike reiterated his passion for trust while Omar agreed that you always run the risk of someone not believing what you’re saying and changing the plan, even when you’re telling the truth. Jonathan spoke about the fact that somebody is being lied to tonight and as such, someone is going to be sad back at camp. Maryanne spoke about the fact that due to the Shot in the Dark, you can no longer rely on a unanimous vote, proving its fundamental weakness. But whatever.

With that, the tribe voted – Maryanne twice – before she pulled off the epic 3-2-2 vote against Omar, getting rid of the biggest threat. And landing a big, juicy entry on her own resume. And while it is always painful to be voted out right before the finale, Omar was still overjoyed as he entered Ponderosa. Because as the victim of an epic move, he is always going to be remembered as the biggest threat of the season that needed a big move to get rid of him. As such, we giddily smashed a Corn, Capsicum and Hallomar Zahlad and started planning his strategy for his inevitable second season.

Salty, sweet and packing a herbaceous punch, this salad hits all the right notes (and then some)! Plus, since it is salad, you never have to feel guilty about smashing a massive bowl. Right?

Enjoy!

Corn, Capsicum and Halomar Zahlad
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
2 corn cobs, husks and silk removed
250g haloumi, thinly sliced
3 tbsp flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp coriander, roughly chopped
2 tbsp mint, roughly chopped
1 tbsp oregano, roughly chopped
¼ cup olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups rocket, washed and rinsed
1 cup grape tomatoes, cut into halves or quarters depending on the size
⅔ cup chargrilled capsicum, drained and cut into strips

Method
Pop a cast iron griddle pan over a medium heat. Once scorching hot, brush with olive oil and pop the corn on the pan, cooking, turning occasionally, for about ten minutes, or until nice and charred. Remove from pan to cool.

Next, fry the haloumi for a couple of minutes each side. Again, hoping to get a good char. Remove from the pan.

Combine the parsley, coriander, mint and oregano in a jug with the olive oil, red wine vinegar and a good whack of salt and pepper. Stir until well combined.

To assemble, pop the rocket in a bowl and sprinkle over the tomatoes and capsicum. Cut the corn off the cobs in chunks and pop over the top, alongside the haloumi. Drizzle with the dressing and devour immediately. Ideally with smug satisfaction.


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Avacadavid & Mangoodchild Salad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Josh was seething after Jordan was booted by the minority, though for some reason, he focused his attention on taking out Sam. Now in the top eight with two hidden immunity idols, Mark and Sam’s power continued to grow as Mark took out individual immunity. Giving himself immunity in three forms and finally waking up their allies to take a shot. After flipping to the new purga-three plus Dave, Josh encouraged them to play their idol for Sam, but they didn’t, leaving her to be tragically booted from the game while Mark lived to fight another three tribals minimum.

Back at camp everyone tried to soothe Mark’s pain and while he accepted Josh’s hug, he pushed away Shay and KJ when they tried to offer him sympathy. As he stared into the fire, Dave assured Shay he was the one that pulled Josh over to their side. Mark then snapped out of his trance and snapped at Josh to come and explain himself to him, with Josh telling him that everyone was nervous of the marrieds and their collection of idols were proving too threatening. Oh and then Mark lost even more charm, telling Josh that Jordie is a non-entity in the season while reminding us that Jordie is just a gardener, while he is a trained killer. Which honestly, is a shit brag. Reminding me how much I wish Sam outlasted Mark.

The next day Jordie and his crew were living their best lives, as Dave whipped up a bush fig compote. All under the scowling eye of Mark. After he went to sulk and fish, Jordie celebrated finally taking out revenge on Sam for taking out his brother. Knowing that Josh was still a massive wild card, Jordie pulled him aside to find out how he was feeling. And while Jordie was still shocked that nobody believed him about Mark’s two idols, he was glad that Josh now identified him as a massive threat and as such, wanted to work with him to take out Mark so they both have a better shot.

Mark meanwhile was still in his feelings over letting Sam go when he could have saved her, opening up about wanting to let his game go for her. Begging the question, why did they have to side with his alliance at the merge, over hers. Oh and then the winner’s music intensified, so I guess I have to accept that this is the only way we can honour Sam’s killer game.

Oh and then he and Josh caught up, brainstorming ways to keep themselves alive but trust and believe, this was just a winner’s edit.

The tribe met up with Jonathan where they would each face off holding a rope while they lean over the water, with the last person standing jagging a trip to the Survivor spa. Complete with shower, bed and surf and turf. Though more importantly, a bed. Before taking their places, Shay pledged to take Chrissy and KJ with her should she win and as such, Chrissy was positively giddy as she leant over the water. While she struggled almost instantly, Jordie tried to give her a pep talk while Shay assured her that she or KJ would win her the reward. Which obviously meant KJ was the next to go, leaving their chances resting on Shay’s shoulders. After half an hour, Dave dropped followed by Mark. The boys then made a deal with Shay, who agreed to take them with her despite the fact she already promised the girls. And when she picked the boys over the girls, KJ was ready to destroy her while Chrissy pretended she was all good.

The trio arrived at their outdoor spa and immediately started trimming and plucking anything and everything in sight. They then smashed their feast, followed by the boys marvelling at their luck to convince Shay to take them with her despite her promise to the girls. They started talking about how much calmer things feel now that Sam is out of the game, while Josh continued to assure us that he knows Mark only has one idol. Which he does not, he has two. Though thankfully, he still sees the sole idol as an issue and as such, locked in a plan to get rid of Mark with a split on Dave or Chrissy, given they don’t really care either way.

Though don’t assume that means Josh is working with them long term, only long enough to lessen his threat level. Begging the question, is he actually wise?

Meanwhile back at camp, the losers were heartbroken, though none more so than Chrissy, who was as keen for the spa as we both were for zaddy JLP. KJ joined the rage, frustrated by the fact Shay straight up promised to take her on reward and then backflipped. Dave (rightly) pointed out that Jordie wisely set up this current predicament, getting himself a reward while making Shay look like even more of a target. As such, they locked in their votes against Jordie.

The next day we checked in on the spa going trio where Shay was busy shaving her legs as the boys had some pillow talk about protecting each other. And I guess more importantly, protecting each other from the upcoming vote.

The two groups reconvened with Jonethan for the latest immunity challenge where they would race over a net to collect sandbags before carrying them over obstacles and then tossing them into a bucket to release puzzle pieces and, wait for it, then solve a puzzle. Mark, Jordie and Josh got out to the slightest of leads, but then I spotted a horse in the background and well, I blacked out. Until Jonathan spoke about toss after toss and well, swoon. Fuelled by the rage of missing out on a shampoo, Chrissy took out the lead while the boys continued to nip at her heels. While everyone caught up at the puzzle, the five word phrase proved super difficult allowing Josh enough time to take out victory.

Back at camp Josh pulled Chrissy aside to lock in a split vote against Mark to, at the very least, get rid of his idol given it puts them on an equal playing field. Josh then suggested they push for the new majority to vote for Mark, push Mark to play his idol and then decide who goes out of the group. And while Chrissy pushed hard for it to be Jordie, Josh fought just as hard for another target. Given Jordie continues to be a distraction for people wanting to boot him instead.

While Shay was feeling safe thanks to alliances made at the reward, she caught up with KJ to assure her that they are still tight and while she disappointed KJ with her decision, it is truly best for both of their games. KJ rightly saw that as a decent take, reminding Shay that the boys are all busy targeting each other and as such, they should just take a step back and let them take each other out so they can get to the end.

Shay then caught Jordie up on the plan before they checked in with Dave to assure him the plan is still to get rid of Mark and they don’t need to worry about a vote split, given it is unlikely he will play his idol this round. Which Dave readily agreed to. Sadly for Jordie, however, Dave had plans of his own and as such, was ready to get rid of Jordie with the help of Chrissy and KJ. Meanwhile Mark was trying to figure out his plan forward, approaching Shay whether now was the right time to play the idol with her assuring him that he should. Which is obviously what she would be telling him, since she wants to flush it. Though somehow, he felt he outsmarted her in the situation?

At tribal council Shay spoke about how wonderful it was to have a shower while Dave called it out as a risky move. While KJ and Chrissy rolled their eyes at each other. Dave spoke about the importance of forming alliances at rewards, as Chrissy spoke about how disappointed she was to be left behind after Shay promised to take her, Dave jumped in to continue to talk about how stupid it was though pointed out it was a brilliant play be Jordie to avoid getting his hands dirty. That pissed off Jordie, who pointed out that the biggest threat in the game is definitely Mark and as such, they need to strike at him ASAP to at least flush one of the idols out. Given nobody believes there is a second. Again, when there is.

Josh implored everyone in the tribe to vote with their best interests in mind, while Mark continued to lie about his second idol and warned everyone that he has three opportunities to play his idol. And when he plays it and who for are questions that still remain. Dave reiterated that there are still a tonne of targets left in the game, while Jordie reiterated just how uncertain the vote ahead is. With that, the tribe voted and Mark played an idol for himself, leaving the votes to pile up two each for Jordie and Dave. With that, the tribe re-voted and for some reason, booted Dave from the game.

As soon as I saw Dave enter Jury Villa, I bit my tongue to stop myself from asking just why he named himself Juicy Dave before pulling him a hug and congratulating him on making it so far. I was heartbroken to see Briana go – again, I would suffer the same fate if I played – but glad that he tried to do her proud and as such, toasted his success with an Avacadavid & Mangoodchild Salad.

Sweet juicy – geddit – mango, creamy avo, salty bacon and the zingy dressing work together to form what is arguably the greatest salad of all time. Whether it ruins your chance at joining the property market or not.

Enjoy!

Avacadavid & Mangoodchild Salad
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
6 rasher streaky bacon, cut into strips
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 tbsp thickened cream
salt and pepper, to taste
2 baby cos, leaves torn, washed and dried
2 mangoes, peeled and diced
2 avocados, peeled and diced

Method
Fry the bacon in a small skillet for a few minutes, or until brown and crisp. Transfer to a plate lined with baking powder.

Pop the olive oil, lemon zest and juice, dijon mustard and thickened cream in a jar with a good whack of salt and pepper and shake until well combined.

To assemble, pop the lettuce in a bowl, followed by the mango and avocado, sprinkle over the bacon and drizzle with the bacon. Then, obviously, devour.


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Beetroot and Bean Watsalad

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor, before Nina was tragically whisked from the game she got to enjoy a reward with her tribe. But she wasn’t the only one not having luck as Mark thought he snatched a clue to a hidden immunity idol without anyone knowing. Unaware that his ally Jordie saw everything. With the alphas in control of the Blood tribe, KJ was thrilled to be the new resident female in their alliance, leaving Shay cast aside. After Water threw the next immunity challenge, Jesse and Sam planned to re-blindside Ben. That is until Ben told them that Croc was trying to save him and instead target Jesse. As such they flipped things on Croc and sent him home with an idol in his pocket. While poor Queen Chrissy sobbed.

The next day things were looking rather zen at Water as Ben fished in his speedos while Sam led the girls in washing out their bits, her words, not mine. Jesse and Khanh followed this by stripping off, making me as wet as the stream they frolicked in. While Chrissy looked on completely enraged, Ben opened up about how he was feeling awkward about the blindside, though was thrilled to have defied the odds and made his way back to the top of the tribe. Poor Chrissy meanwhile was heartbroken to have lost her support network in Croc, missing everything he reminded her of at home. Sam tried to make things better, assuring Chrissy that everyone loves Croc though they were told he was turning on them first and therefore felt they had to take him out first. And then Chrissy herself confirmed things that Croc had said without even realising it.

But, you know, Sam followed that up by confirming Ben was the mastermind of the blindside and Ben, girl, you’re in danger because Chrissy is coming for you.

Over at the Blood tribe everyone was genuinely zen, with Mark living for his all male alliance and while that sounds like my dream, in Survivor, I absolutely hate it. Particularly because it is less about them taking out the weak links and more about them taking out the women, given Shay could beat any of them in a challenge. Mark meanwhile was frustrated that he hadn’t been able to find his idol yet, despite the clue clearly directing him to find it tethered underwater by the well.

As he stealthily looked again, he told us how he would be putting his army training to good use while searching undetected. Under the watchful eye of Jordie, who quickly popped out of the bushes and forced Mark to confess that he found a clue. Mark then found the idol but pretended he hadn’t found anything and as such, the duo went hunting together. Well, until Mark grew tired of Jordie shadowing him and instead confessed he had the idol, assuming Jordie was an honest player. Which he is well and truly not. But go off sis, because villain Jordie is a delight.

The tribes reconnected with Jonathan for another immunity challenge which they were gagged to learn was an individual affair, with one person from each tribe jagging immunity. Since both tribes will be going to tribal council, and both tribes would be voting someone out. Aka, another twist. Put as far as the challenge goes, everyone would stand on narrow pegs and hold a rod above their heads to keep a ball pressed against a wall, with the last person from each tribe winning immunity.

Almost instantly, Dave dropped from the challenge, followed closely by Jordan begging the question, is that blood alliance gender or strength based? Michelle was first out for Water as Mark quickly followed over on Blood, followed by Mel, Josh and KJ leaving Jordie and Shay to fight it out. Ben and Chrissy meanwhile were verbally sparring over Croc’s blindside with them eventually clearing the air before Chrissy dropped, followed immediately by Jesse who fell on his face. With Jordie showing genuine concern and well, swoon.

After 26 minutes, Ben dropped out in agony as Chrissy caught him before he fell. Sam meanwhile was desperate to make a deal with Khanh, asking him to give her the necklace should she let him win the challenge despite the fact she was allegedly feeling fine. She then immediately dropped out of the challenge and proved she was not, in fact, fine as she passed out and required medical to be rushed in to make sure she was ok. With that excitement out of the way, poor Jordie dropped out without any medical intervention, handing Shay the second immunity and frankly, putting us all out of our misery. Because that looks painful.

Back at the Blood tribe, Jordie was frustrated that Shay’s victory had put a kibosh on their plans, though was grateful to have two other women to split the votes between. The boys caught up in the water to debate the merits of keeping Mel or KJ, settling on the former given she still has a partner in the game which is dangerous moving forward. Meanwhile the girls were back at camp and instead of bonding to form a rival alliance, Shay told KJ to do the washing up and walked away and well, that is not going to change the status quo.

Given she had no options with the girls, KJ approached the boys in the water and reiterated her status as a free agent to try and save herself. Though given Jordie straight up plotted a split vote between KJ and Mel IN FRONT OF KJ, that should not make her feel assured in the slightest. The boys then looped in Mel, assuring her the plan is to take out KJ and well, this messiness just guarantees someone is coming out of tribal council angry. Though given how awkward Josh was while telling Shay about the plan, she should also be worried about her long-term survival. Particularly when she shared she was nervous about KJ coming for her and wanted her gone. And when they didn’t budge, that should show her they clearly don’t care about her. Shay then tried to rally the broader group on a plan to take out KJ and while Mark seemed interested, I can’t bring myself to get my hopes up for him turning on the boys.

Over at the Water tribe things were moderately less chaotic as Chrissy was focused on getting revenge on Ben and quickly rallied the troops to finally get rid of him. She, Sam and Khanh all agreed to get rid of him, with the girls assuring Khanh that Jesse will be all in on the plan to get rid of Ben too. Then somehow, that made Chrissy nervous given Sam and Jesse also voted for Croc and as such, she also hated them. And damn, this may end up being just as chaotic. As Chrissy napped away the afternoon, Ben was busy trying to woo the tribe to his idea to flush Khanh’s idol and get rid of Chrissy instead. He then went person to person sharing his plan and while Sam and Jesse debated the merits of the split, I still have an awful feeling we’re losing one of the speedo kings tonight.

At tribal council Dave admitted he was shocked by how strong Jordie was in the challenge while Shay admitted she felt like she needed to win, given their tribe is a complete sausage fest. She joked that Mel and KJ were now on their own, before pretending they’d be fine, while both KJ and Mel reiterated that they are in fact fighting for their lives in the game. Mark tried to downplay the predictability, given people are wont to be conflicting and chaotic. While Shay tried to pretend original tribes may come into play, Mark admitted his decision will be based on what is best for his merge game. Jordie spoke about the likelihood there is an idol in play at the camp, with Jordan laughing about someone finally learning to keep it quiet while Mark looked straight up anxious. Jordie meanwhile agreed they’ve reached the point of the game where they are making decisions based on the next week in the game, rather than just focusing on seeing tomorrow.

Jonathan turned his attention to the Water tribe, with Chrissy still smarting about Croc’s blindside and vowied that there are definitely going to be some upset people after the upcoming vote. But she will not be one of them, since her name is not on the block. Ben admitted she is likely targeting him, with Chrissy reminding everyone she is fiercely loyal which Ben agreed he was too despite the fact he cut Croc. Who was the only person willing to save him. Which is valid, but not the right argument.

Sam spoke about how she pushed so hard in the challenge to make her son and Mark proud, while Khanh spoke about pushing himself in the challenge to prove he could, rather than it being a sign of him feeling unsafe with his tribe. Jesse agreed that it was more about PBs before Ben got up and started to whisper to Khanh to play his idol for himself rather than on Chrissy, given he would essentially be voting himself out if not. This got Jonathan’s attention with Khanh admitting Ben told him to play his idol to save himself and while JLP tried to make him feel awks about giving up immunity to Sam, he admitted he still has an idol and doesn’t care. Particularly since he has the relationships to carry him through should it get flushed.

Sam and Chrissy assured him that he is definitely not part of the plan, as Khanh started to sob about how grateful he is to have found so many genuine friends on his tribe. Sam agreed that she is shocked by how many bonds she has made and while they all feel like their trust has been broken over time, they need to come back, move on and work together the next day because that is how the game works.

With that the tribes voted though before Jonathan read them, he announced that the person voted out on each tribe would get a chance to fight for their life in a firemaking challenge with the winner staying in the game and returning to their tribe, while the loser would officially be out of the game. 

Ultimately it was Mel and Ben voted out of their respective tribes and were whisked off to the side of tribal council to battle out in the firemaking challenge. While her sister looked to already be accepting her defeat, Mel absolutely dominated the challenge, immediately getting flames and managing to keep it going as she built it into a full blown fire. While Ben managed to get a flame, he appeared to keep smothering it as Michelle barked at Mel to find the smallest sticks she could find. While Mel’s too went out, she and Ben eventually built a flame, before Mel managed to keep hers consistent the longest, burning through the rope and saving her position in the game. As Water celebrated finally getting Ben out of the game.

Obviously, his loss absolutely broke my heart given he is one of my top two speedo kings of the season. Which I obviously told him as I pulled him into my arms back at Loser Lodge.

I’ve known Ben for years and years, meeting at a Bens for speedos club. While he was there to fight the speedo stigma of the modern age, I was there to scout talent and funnily enough, suggested he go on Survivor to join the pantheon of zaddies throughout the years. Promising him a Beetroot and Bean Watsalad as a thank you for his service.

Like Ben, this fresh little number is an absolute dreamboat. Rich a earthy, smooth and creamy with a little bit of spice and zing, there is nothing more you could want to put in your mouth. The salad, guys – head out of the gutter. Though, obvi, Ben is a total swoon.

Enjoy!

Beetroot and Bean Watsalad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 beetroot, peeled
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 sprig rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
2 sprigs thyme leaves, roughly chopped
1 garlic cloves, minced
200g beans, trimmed and cut into lengths
100g feta, diced
¼ cup red onion, diced
¼ cup walnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and wrap each beetroot in foil after giving them a good rub in 1 tbsp olive oil and seasoning generously with salt and pepper. Pop into the oven and cook for about an hour, or until tender. Remove from the oven and leave to rest for fifteen minutes.

While the beetroot is cooling down, combine the remaining olive oil with the vinegar, rosemary, thyme and a good whack of salt and pepper. Shake to combine. Then blanch the beans until they are a nice, bright green. Remove and leave to chill.

Dice the beetroot and add to a bowl with the beans, feta, red onion and walnuts. Pour over the dressing and toss until well combined. Then devour.


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River Mediterranean Salad

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls were tasked with promoting the new home assistant, Draglexa. And girl, it was a mess. While it often feels like everyone is getting the shady edit during the filming segments, this one didn’t appear to go badly … until their commercials were played for the judges and the rattlesnake sound came out. To the point where Ru gave no one the win. Feeling extra shady, the queens were asked to announce who should go home with the dolls split on sending Scarlett and Charity home. This pissed off Scarlett, who stormed out of untucked, followed by the lip sync which was a rematch against Charity with the latter tragically felled from the competition.

Backstage Scarlett looked like she was returning from war, heartbroken to have sent her sister home though proud to show the fire within herself. River tried to keep things positive by immediately going shady and asked if anyone thought Charity should have stayed, with most of the dolls agreeing that Ru made the right decision. Scarlett complained that everyone suggested she should go home before the lip sync, with Ella trying to remind her they had to answer a question and nobody hates her, so she needs to stop moping around. Choriza spoke about the fact that wins aren’t automatically granted anymore, leaving Vanity to ask whether Choriza will stop relying on comedy and show some diversity. And well, things were about to go south before Krystal suggested they de drag and go the fuck to sleep.

The dolls were feeling far more jovial the next day, conga-ing into the new week with them acutely aware that they need to bring it this week given they kinda bombed the last challenge. Scarlett meanwhile was still feeling salty about getting flagged as the person that should go home and then a myriad of other grievances, leading to Krystal rightly calling her out for bouncing between the things that were upsetting her and damn, how is she only 19?

The fights were interrupted by Ru who dropped by to open the library and damn, that is just what they need, no? Choriza kicked off the reading challenge landing some sick burns, getting the queens mixed up the entire time. Vanity went in on Ella for being bland and Scarlett for saying like a lot. River mocked Choriza being horny and Scarlett for interrupting, Krystal was savagely hilarious, Ella was witty and lovable, Scarlett went IN on everyone for her revenge while Kitty was wild and demented and I live for her. Rightly so, Choriza took out victory before the dolls learnt that this was only just the beginning, for this week, they’d be playing Snatch Game.

The dolls split up to talk about their chosen characters, with Vanity sharing she would be playing Jocelyn Jee Esien while Krystal would be rocking Charity Shop Sue. Ru arrived to kiki with the girls with Choriza sharing that she would be playing Margarita Pracatan aka a singing version of her, who used her charm to get by. Oh but Ru would prefer her to play Cher and well, I’m confused. Ella meanwhile was going to play Mystic Meg, though Ru preferred her back-up character of Nigella Lawson, so she too was likely to change things up. Scarlett planned to do Danny Dyer, so obviously Ru wanted her to do Tilda Swinton or Macaulay Culkin. Kitty thought she would play Cilla Black, so Ru tasked her with playing the GC despite that being played by her sister Cheryl in Sheeeeason One. River was going to play Amy Childs from TOWIE, but Ru surprisingly didn’t give her a new character to do instead.

We immediately pivoted to the Snatch Game set where Judi Love and Nadine Coyle were ready to play with the dolls. Ella, Scarlett and Kitty all opted to change to Ru’s suggested characters, while Krystal, Vanity, River and Choriza held their ground on their OG choices. From the very first moments it was Ella’s show, bringing the sultry smut of Nigella that was always destined for Snatch Game greatness. Kitty was delightful and demented, Scarlett screamed her way through the challenge – in a good way – while on the other end of the panel, River, Choriza and Krystal just kinda got lost in the pack. Most importantly, Ella DID say meek-ro-wa-vay and that alone is worthy of victory.

Elimination Day rolled around with Ella proud to have slayed the Snatch Game, though felt a couple of the girls should be worried. Vanity meanwhile was triggered by the fact she had to play a character, given she had to play the character of a straight kid growing up. Kitty meanwhile shared that she never had to come out, given her parents always said she could bring a girl or boy home. Choriza meanwhile shared that she came out at 11, though it wasn’t until she was 18 that she realised that her father was holding her sexuality against her and always appeared to be angry with her. Krystal shared that she and her father never saw eye to eye, though Drag Race helped him understand who she was as a person. River meanwhile struggled with feeling that being gay is disgusting, with Ella reminding them that as queer kids, you’re constantly in a state of stress. With Scarlett agreeing that that is why she acts the way that she does now, while Ella shared that she just desperately tried to fit in and be straight.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined on the judging panel by the iconic Lulu – CHAMPAGNE FOR LULU – for the Feeling Fruity runway. Choriza was up first serving the most iconic Carmen Miranda inspired peach look, Krystal was the sexiest dragonfruit to grace the planet, Scarlett wore lime, though looked like an iceberg lettuce instead. River looked like a cup of Runts, Ella was a sexy, vampy watermelon, Vanity was a gorgeous African mama in a coral gown while Kitty was the juiciest cherry crossed with Little Red Riding Hood.

And Poison Ivy.

The judges lived for Choriza’s runway look, though they felt she needed to give more in Snatch Game. Krystal was praised for pushing herself in Snatch Game, though read for kind of missing the mark. And the fact she was repeating a silhouette on the runway. The judges lived for Scarlett screaming her way through Snatch Game, though was read for dressing as a lettuce. River meanwhile, was read for sticking in early-TOWIE Amy Childs and getting swallowed up by her sisters, while Michelle felt her look was crafty. Ella received universal praise for knocking Nigella out of the park and looking like a star on the runway. Vanity was read in the same way Krystal was, though was praised for looking beautiful on the runway. And Kitty, like Ella, received universal praise for start to finish. And had the judges in hysterics on the runway to boot.

Backstage Kitty was on cloud nine, thrilled to finally have her breakthrough moment in the competition. Ella too was proud of herself for nailing Snatch Game and surprising everyone with her improv skills. Choriza meanwhile was heartbroken to be read for just being there while River was disappointed to be down, but by no means was she ready to go out. Oh and Krystal was sure it would be her lip syncing, given she set such a high standard for herself in the first week’s of the competition. While Scarlett was thrilled to turn things around and prove herself again, leading to the dolls rallying around each other and ugh, I love the girls.

Ultimately Scarlett and Kitty were deemed safe, handing a well deserved victory to Ella. Vanity was sent to safety while Krystal narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving my faves River and Choriza to lip sync to Lulu’s Shout. And while I love everything about Lulu, I hate everything about this dark, dark timeline – NOT MY FAVES. 

Things only got darker as both Choriza and River were wacky and charming, but that lip sync kind of felt flat, despite Lulu living. And then when Choriza changed her wig on stage – not a reveal, changed – the timeline went pitch-black as Ru opted to send BOTH of them home. 

Some people say that you could hear my screams from outer-space at that moment, which reminds me, bravo to the editors for hiding it. And security for stopping me from getting to the mainstage as I tried to storm the get and force Ru and Michelle to change their damn minds. I could have handled one going, but both of my icons? I don’t think.

Eventually the security and on-set psychologists were able to get me calm enough to proceed with the usual culinary comfort but we agreed that it was best to do them one at a time to avoid me being triggered. As such, River was first up and immediately pointed and shuffled her way into my arms to try and lighten the mood. And while it didn’t change the sad outcome, it truly did help and I mustered a weak smile. Think SJP’s first little joke in Mexico in the SATC movie. That was my level of trauma.

After breathing my way through the pain, I was able to praise River on being one of the breakout stars of the season with her kindness, charm and raw talent. And then I realised, while she may have lost this season, she will undoubtedly win her next. Right? Right, Ru? RIGHT? With that, I was able to whip up a River Mediterranean Salad and toast to her success.

While I used to subscribe to the Springfield view of salad, this little number is a game-changing delight. Plus, it is great for a lazy person. Decadent and simple, the feta and crackers elevate the store-bought ingredients to give you a perfect mid-week (get it?) meal.

Enjoy!

River Mediterranean Salad
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
400g can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
½ cup roasted capsicum, drained and torn into strips
1⁄2 cup green Sicilian olives, rinsed
⅓ cup sundried tomatoes, drained
200g Danish feta, diced
2 cups mixed salad leaf, washed and drained
1 cup rosemary and garlic crackers
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
1 lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
I am lazy when it comes to salad – probably because I’d rather be having fries but I’m north of 30, so shouldn’t – so this one is pretty basic.

Chuck everything in a bowl. Toss. Serve.

Then devour. Always devour.


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Veronica Green Salad

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Salad, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race UK after slaying the first challenge, Victoria and Krystal were tasked with lip syncing for the win. And while the latter took out the win, Victoria put her body on the line and injured her knee. After backing it up in a physical Dragoton exercise challenge where Krystal took out her second victory and Elektra was sent home, Victoria was summoned to the front of stage and sent to see the doctors to make sure she is ok to continue in the competition. The next day, Ru returned to chat to the dolls and officially announced that Victoria truly is s-gone, as she was pulled from the competition.

We then did a hard pivot as Ru challenged the dolls to make profile videos for the new dating app Findhr, swelling themselves as butch manses ready to find their lady. Vanity was up first looking super hot as a chav with a massive piece of meat, Choriza was as charmingly ridiculous as ever, Scarlett was an aggressively sexual lumber twink and once again, I’m so in love with her. Krystal looked like the most glamorous meth addict, Veronica was a hilarious nerd leather daddy, Charity was a sexy farmer with her nips out and yes, I’ve stopped mentioning the jokes and am solely objectifying the dolls. Kitty was demented as the highest voiced builder in all of the land, River was dementedly deadpan while Ella was the hottest, closet-case on the building site. 

Rightfully so, Scarlett took out victory before Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be serving two looks on the runway. The first, the Happy Camper Runway,  would show off something you’d wear while walking the children in nature while the second, Camp Fire Couture runway would be made out of a bunch of camp supplies lying around the set. Which Scarlett got to start picking through 15 seconds ahead of the other queens. In that time, she managed to grab two kites and pulled over a shelf before the rest of the dolls charged at her and absolutely tore the set apart.

The dolls split up to look at what they snagged with Kitty eating marshmallows while Choriza took courage and inspiration from the owl figurine she found. River meanwhile was hoping that this would be the week she would be able to show Ru her style, while her table mate Ella was just terrified by the entire challenge ahead.

As the dolls started to work on their outfits, Ru arrived with Raven in tow to kiki with the girls with Kitty sharing her grandmother taught her how to sew before she came to the show. Choriza admitted that she has been training by sewing a dress a day since she found out that she made the cast while Veronica admitted that she was a bit lost when the last season shut down but tried to stay motivated and actually made the outfit she wore on last week’s runway. Charity shared that she was sure that this was the challenge that was up her alley while Vanity was just straight up wanted advice to make her make-up less shiny. Krystal meanwhile was just overwhelmed by meeting her idol Raven while Scarlett wanted Raven’s advice on working around her Boxxxy Mandrews jawline.

Again, Scarlett, I love you.

After Ru left, Veronica went around the room, giving the dolls advice and helping them with their runways while River helped Krystal figure out how to make her outfit work. With River wisely admitting that she doesn’t want to help anyone else as she needs to put herself first. Charity and Kitty started talking about how they came to drag with the former admitting that contracting HIV made her want to take control of her life, while Charity was still processing the trauma of one man turning her life upside down. She then broke down to Kitty about the fact she is still scared to put herself out there and be cast aside just because of her status. And ugh, I love them both and am so grateful for Charity sharing.

Vanity and Scarlet meanwhile were busy putting Ru’s advice into their outfits, as they made edits to ensure you could tell that they listened. Krystal meanwhile was continuing to panic, this time pulling Veronica aside to ask how in the hell she would get it done. While Choriza watched on, worried about Veronica finishing her own outfit amongst the chaos.

Elimination Day rolled around with the girls wildly putting the finishing touches on their looks. Or in River’s case, starting from scratch on a better outfit though worried that once again, she won’t be able to show the judges who she is. Ella meanwhile was living for her outfit and gagged by the fact she has been able to pull it together, despite her complete lack of skills. Kitty meanwhile was living for her sleeping bag look, while she and Scarlett read everyone for filth. Poor Veronica though finally realised that helping all the other queens wasn’t the greatest idea as she desperately tried to finish her own outfit as Krystal sat there, finished, with another killer look.

Ru, Michelle and Graham were joined by Nicola Coughlan before the dolls shared their Happy Campers runways, with Krystal slaying in a stunning emerald scout gown. Kitty too was in a scout dress, though lost in the full bush. River was gorgeous as she went off the map, Charity was a crazed murder-bunny, Choriza served sexy blue backpack, Scarlet was a goth Robin Hood, Vanity was technicolour glamour bags – complete with smiles, as per Ru’s advice – while Ella was full-on Jane, though trying to catch butterflies as Veronica recovered from her hard day at the festival.

On the Campfire Couture runway, Krystal was stunning in an architectural bodice, Kitty was a slutty, shiny fembot, River was a beautiful, vintage flight attendant in a stunning burnt orange paisley rug. Charity was slutty, sexy and demented in a gingham stripper outfit, complete with cakes. Choriza gave bond villainess in gingham while Scarlett was stunning in a gorgeous pastel gingham rug, Vanity was dripping in ropes and knots, Ella was stunning in a check mini with a fluro couture raincoat while Veronica was tragically a mess in her meant-to-be-triumphant butterfly number.

Kitty, River and Charity were sent to safety before Krystal received her traditional rave reviews for every single thing she did. Though Graham did caution that while she is good, he now expects more from her. Choriza was read for the confusion for her first look and the second look for being sloppy, though her charm had the judges in stitches as she explained why she had an eye patch. Scarlett meanwhile was read for being a bit cosplay on the first look, though the judges lived for every tiny detail of her second look. And her Cher flick. Vanity meanwhile was read for not hitting the first theme, despite looking good. Ella received universal praise for the camp look and the killer construction of the second garment, while Michelle wants to know who Ella is. Veronica meanwhile was read for not being all the way there with the first look, while her second look was read for being an absolute mess. Though Veronica opened up to the judges about the pain of season 2 being split up by the pandemic, her depression and the look was meant to show her triumph over sadness and ugh, I will always love Veronica SO. DAMN. MUCH.

Backstage the safe girls were kikiing, with Kitty shocked to be safe but even more shocked that River was safe with her. Charity meanwhile praised her for serving a great concept, while Kitty was shocked Charity wasn’t in the top. Speaking of the tops – and bottoms – the rest of the queens joined them, with Choriza proud of her looks despite being read. Scarlet shared that while they loved her second look, they were concerned about the first. Krystal was gloating about all the praise she received, with Charity questioning whether she should really win another challenge given she was dragged to the runway by Veronica. Vanity meanwhile was reading Scarlett’s look for filth, while Veronica quietly shared how much the judges hated everything before she started breaking down. She admitted that her time management is never great, but she was also distracted by helping everyone else which could be what sends her home.

Ultimately Ella Vaday was sent to safety, followed by Krystal, handing Scarlett her first victory of the season. At the other end of the pack, Choriza managed to save herself with her demented brand of storytelling, leaving Vanity and Veronica to battle it out in the lip sync. And damn, did both the dolls bring it to ‘I’ve Got the Music In Me’. Vanity was fierce, hitting every lyric as she hit the floor in a split while Veronica channelled all of the emotions as she tore her dress apart on the stage. Tragically though, Vanity pipped Veronica at the post as our iconic comeback queen was forced to sashay away.

As she, the judges and most importantly, me, all sobbed.

I let out a guttural scream upon seeing her enter the Werk Room, before theatrically collapsing into her arms. Through sobs, I told her how heartbroken I was to see her go on a look that was meant to be her triumph over COVID and depression. We held each other for a long time, telling each other that it will be ok and that Veronica’s talent and pure heart would make her a star one day. Given how emotional I was, I couldn’t muster eating a massive meal so instead plated us up a quick Veronica Green Salad each.

Fresh and zingy, this super quick and easy salad is the perfect accompaniment to a summer dinner. Or, you know, the sadness of your dear friend’s dreams being crushed.

Enjoy!

Veronica Green Salad
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp lemon juice
¼ cup olive oil
1 tsp French mustard
pinch of salt
3 cups mixed salad leaves, washed and dried
2 ripe avocados, sliced
1 Lebanese cucumber, seeded and diced
½ green capsicum, diced

Method
Combine the lemon juice, olive oil, French mustard and salt in a jug and whisk together until well combined.

To serve, layer the salad leaves, avo, capsicum and cucumber in a bowl before drizzling with the dressing.

And you know, devouring.


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Kale Shannon Slawson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Salad, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor, well and truly on the outs Laura and Rachel went for a cheeky walk and what do you know, they found an idol. Sadly for them, it was under the watchful eye of George. Jonathan decided to cause a little chaos and switched up the tribes, with new Brawn still taking out immunity despite now having Wai and Hayley – self proclaimed not-Brawns – in their midst. Cara returned to the Brains tribe and along with Geroge, joined the Brawns to get rid of one of the Brains girls that were formerly controlling their tribe. However George confused the hell out of everyone while teeing up the split vote and after Laura correctly played her idol for Rach, Cara’s accidental vote for Laura inadvertently sent Big D from the game.

Back at camp the tribe was in absolute shock, none more so than Kez who was heartbroken to lose her friend Daini. Standing around the fire, Cara eventually admitted it was her mistake that cost him the game and while everyone appeared to laugh it off, me thinks Queen Kez may hold a grudge. And well, I hate the thought of my two Queens feuding.

The next day things were moderately less dramatic as the tribe napped, George meandered the camp and Cara was straight up embarrassed by her stuff up. Her plan was to lay as low as possible and avoid anyone holding it against her. Sadly for her, George was desperate to raise her up and spin the situation – very vocally – to take the heat off her and in turn, keep their new alliance safe.

Meanwhile in the billabong Rachel and Laura were celebrating their lucky win, though realised they were still in a shitty situation. And as such, decided to try and turn the former Brawns against Cara ASAP. Sadly for them, they had their own situation going on as Georgia became painfully ill and well, the poor thing looked like death.

Over at the Brawn Camp, Andrew was joyously fishing while Hayley worried about their extreme numbers disadvantage. As such, she got together with Andrew to renew their bond and make sure he was willing to put everything aside and find a crack in the old Brawn tribe. Speaking of the former Brawns, Shannon was ride or die with the Brawns, though did assure us that she was still looking to get rid of Simon ASAP and make sure she beats him. Which, TBH, doesn’t bode well for her survival tonight, right? Or his I guess.

In any event, we’re getting some form of resolution to this storyline tonight – I feel it in me waters, Kim.

My love Jonathan arrived for this week’s immunity challenge where the tribes were gagged to discover that not only did Cara’s mistake screw Daini, but that tribal immunity is on hold for the episode and instead they would all be competing as individuals. As both tribes are going to tribal and both of them are voting someone out, with two winners from each tribe getting champagne in addition to immunity. The challenge? Well they have to make their way through an obstacle course and then pair up to cross parallel balance beams before tossing sacks and landing them on a table. First two to finish from each tribe scoring victory.

Before the challenge even began, Georgia opted out due to her illness. When it came to the challenge, both tribes were neck and neck through the obstacles until everyone on Brawn powered ahead, leaving Wai alone on the balance beam. Until Queen Chelsea came back and kindly helped. While everyone on Brains continued to work together until the end of the challenge, Brawns started to split off as Baden and Simon started tossing their sacks.  Andrew and Baden were first to sling a sack on Brawn, while Kez soon followed on Brains. They were joined by Gerald, Dani and then SLAY, Wai! It was back and forth as people landed their bags and knocked them off until Andrew scored one of the first immunities followed by Wai, much to the delight of the rest of her tribe. Which is just so nice.

Oh and on the Brains, Emmett won immunity and then started gossiping with Simon while Hayley joined Georgia on the bench to do the same. More importantly, Queen Rach was next to jag herself immunity. As the victors exited stage left to enjoy their champagne reward, poor Georgia was loaded into an ambulance to get checked out, much to the fears of her tribemates.

Arriving at the bush bar, the group were delighted by their tasting plate more so than the dranks. Which is concerning, but whatever. In any event, Rachel was planning to use her time at the bar to charm Emmett and try to get him to get rid of either Cara and George. And he immediately agreed, so I guess we can just call this episode a day, then. Go home Jonathan, one of the tribals is all sorted!

Back at Brains Laura was thrilled her mate Rach was living it up with the champagne, though was worried about what was going on with Georgia. And just like that, Jonathan appeared to announce that Georgia is being temporarily pulled from the game for observation and as per rules, has 24 hours to return before forfeiting her place. And as such, won’t be voting at tribal council and also can’t be booted.

While it is good that we can make sure she is safe, Laura realised that meant that she was the only target left now, so needed to desperately find a crack. She started working with Gerald and Kez and after barely even trying, had Kez on board given she is still enraged to have lost Daini. Before we could learn more, Emmett and Rachel returned from the reward with Rach thanking everyone for giving her the real reward, seeing how they all lifted each other up at the challenge. Ugh, isn’t she the sweetest?

After noticing Georgia was gone, Rachel and Laura went for a walk to exchange all the latest intel, glad that everyone was seemingly ready to get rid of Cara. Emmett and Kez meanwhile had their own chat, with the former admitting that all he cares about is the two of them and Gerald making the merge and as such, he doesn’t actually care who gets voted out between Cara and Laura. And given Cara fucked up, they were more interested in getting rid of her.

We next checked in with the Brawns with Hayley glad that both of their immunities went to former Brains and as such, have more leverage despite not having the numbers. As such, she went for the most bold move and told everyone that the Brains were planning to vote four strong and since two of them are immune, she plans to do scissor, paper, rock to decide who she plays the idol on between her and Baden and as such, the Brawns should start a conversation with them to decide who to get rid of out of their group.

She and Baden then went for a walk, with Baden excited to just lock in a name while Hayley cautioned him to wait and see who is the first to break ranks and talk to them. Speaking of which, Shannon and Flick were catching up with Simon and talking about how to proceed with both suggesting they play his idol and join with them to the Brains and sacrifice Chelsea instead. Which he readily agreed to after they assured him that they can bring Dani back in after the vote.

But psych, he didn’t plan on following through with that at all, taking Dani and Celsea to the well to let them know everything. And then suggest they all load their votes on Baden, which annoyed Dani, because she feels like this would actually be the perfect time to get rid of Shannon instead. And you know, assert her dominance on the tribe. 

Meanwhile Shannon and Flick were first to get to Hayley and Baden, immediately offering up Chelsea as the boot. As they left, Simon, Chelsea and Dani replaced them and pitched getting rid of Shannon. And just like that, Hayley and Baden were spoilt for choice. Both options being good, because Chelsea and Dani are a tight pair, while Shannon is a big threat. But to Hayley, keeping a threat around isn’t the worst thing at this point.

Once Wai and Andrew returned they were pulled aside by Hayley and quickly caught up on all of her and Baden’s handiwork, with them excited to take power just by instilling them with enough fear.

Both tribes descended on tribal council with Jonathan catching the Brawns up on the situation with Georgia before getting right down to business. Cara spoke about her guilt in sending Daini home due to her stupid mistake, not wanting anyone to think it was deliberate move on her part. Emmett meanwhile denied getting chatty at the reward, given they were too busy eating. Rachel on the other hand was just glad to be safe and wanted to contribute to the conversation to help them keep the tribe strong. 

On the flipside, Laura was shitting her pants as the odd one out on the tribe, fully expecting to go home next. Particularly since Emmett is confident that the alliance have a strong plan that they will execute perfectly. Despite that, Cara was still nervous and while George tried to raise her up, the Brawns weren’t so forgiving. Dani was emphatic about the fact she would have immediately booted Cara for her mistake, with Cara assuring her tribe that she knows the plan and will not make a mistake again. 

We checked in with the Brawn tribe with Shannon excited to see where things stand post swap. Hayley gagged Jonathan by yet again announcing her plan to the entire tribal council, delighting Emmett and George while making the OG Brawns on her tribe very nervous. Flick herself was worried about making a mistake at tribal council and going home, while Simon was straight up terrified, though continued to highlight how strong he is in the hope that nobody targets him. 

To keep things interesting, Shannon outed Simon’s idol and said that should he play his idol, Brains too could have their plans blown up. Dani just spoke about being Brawns strong while Shannon was confident they would make things work. Hayley admitted that she is getting very nervous, with Shannon telling her that all the conversations she had today are truthful. And Dani just said that she can trust her. While Baden was just hopeful that the division in the tribe won’t be down tribal lines after tonight.

With that the tribes voted, Baden and Hayley hung on to their/Hayley’s idol before Laura found herself voted out of the Brains tribe. But then when Jonathan immediately started reading the Brawn votes – and given there were still ten minutes left – it was obvious a twist was afoot, despite the Brawns voting out Shannon.

We then learnt that while Laura and Shannon were both voted out, only one would be booted from the game and that decision will be made by the four immune people. With that, Rachel, Emmett, Wai and Andrew were required to make a unanimous decision on who to boot and should they not be able to, the girls battle it out with a fire making challenge. And while Andrew and Rachel were keen to save Laura, Wai gagged everyone by voting for Shannon to stay. And while Emmett wanted fireworks by way of the challenge, he also wanted Shannon to stay to keep OG Brawn strong. Something Simon, Dani and Chelsea clearly don’t care about anymore.

Then Simon happened, stepping in to tell Emmett that Shannon threw all the former Brawns under the bus as soon as the challenge ended and as such, Emmett was the one making a shit move. Which miraculously led to both Wai and Emmett backpedalling on their decisions, saving Laura and instead sending Shannon from the game as the eighth boot for her disloyalty. Even though, yes, that is the point of the game. But so is using it to further yourself. 

Why did I go on that tangent? You know that.

Anyway, I saw Shannon arrive at Loser Lodge and while I was heartbroken my dear friend’s dream was over, I was glad to be able to hang with each other. You see, Shan and I are the absolute best of friends, given we’re both influencers – remember, I am the OG Celeste Barber … who also went to my school but that is a story for another day, ya’ dig?

So Shan and I are best friends and spoiler alert, this season was meant to be Blood vs Water and we were scheduled to compete but then ‘rona happened and they went in a different direction. And since there is no beauty tribe and there is no way you can spin me as strong, I was dropped. But given I’m so critical to the health and wellbeing of the casts, that is probably for the best.

Seriously, what is with the tangents today? You know the drill, I told Shan she played a killer game, she is an absolute star and I love her. Then got down to nourishing her soul with a big ol’ Kale Shannon Slawson.

I know, I know. You don’t make friends with salad. But when they taste this good, you HAVE to make an exception. Tart, fresh and packed full of flavour, this is just what you need to dull your post boot pain.

Enjoy!

Kale Shannon Slawson
Serves: 2 stunning influencers, but would also suffice for 6 people for dinner as a side.

Ingredients
4 cups kale, washed and shredded
1 cup red cabbage, washed and shredded
2 carrots, peeled and grated
1 small red onion, diced
⅓ cup craisins
½ cup slivered almonds
3 tbsp pepitas
3 tbsp sunflower seeds
1⁄4 cup tahini
2 lemons, zested and juiced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tsp dijon mustard
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combine the kale, red cabbage, carrot, red onion, craisins, almonds, pepitas and sunflower seeds in a large bowl and toss to combine.

Meanwhile, whisk literally everything else together in a jug.

Pour the dressing over the salad, toss to combine and then serve.

And then devour, obvi.


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Beetroot & Minti Salad

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 1, Salad, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España the top nine were tasked with serving full diva in a girl group extravaganza. After the two new bands debuted and broke up, the queens paid homage to Veneno on the runway with Carmen and Inti singled out for channeling the icon. At the other end of the spectrum, Vulcano and Arantxa completely bombed the challenge and were read for filth by the judges. Ultimately Carmen took out her first victory, while Vulanco and Arantxa battled to stay in the competition, with Arantxa narrowly saving herself and sending Vulcano out of the competition second.

Backstage the queens were saddened to have lost the iconic Vulcano, well, except for Hugáceo, who was thrilled that Arantxa managed to take out a huge threat for everyone else. Arantxa requested they all buy her dinner as a way to say thank you to her, though I don’t think Carmen will be doing that since she felt Arantxa should have been the one to go home. Speaking of Carmen, everyone congratulated her on the win, well, except for Pupi who was just irritated by Carmen’s passion for looking at herself in the mirror.

The next day Arantxa led the queens back into the Werk Room in a tribute to Drag Vulcano. Except for Carmen and Dovima, who had no interest and were just tributing themselves. Talk turned to how open the race is since they lost two of the biggest names back to back, with Carmen and Pupi kindly suggesting the other one should follow the other names out the door. 

Before they could get into a fight, Supremme arrived to welcome the Pit Crew back into our lives for this week’s Mini Challenge. And again, with those packages we all win. Apparently the queens were tasked with doing football quick drag and then competed in a cheeky little sports pageant. Cheeky coming from (or on) the Pit Crew. Arantxa was a mess, but so charming. Killer was a butch monster, Sagittaria was a sweet little twink, Carmen was a stunning woman, Dovima rocked Bob Downe realness, Hugáceo was a thing of nightmares – in the best way possible – Inti was adorably, ridiculous and Pupi looked like a Little Britain extra.

Ultimately Killer Queen took out victory before the group played a quick kick of football on the pitch. Are these the right terms? All I know is that I pitched a tent over the Pit Crew.

For the Maxi Challenge the queens were required to sell themselves in ads promoting themselves as influencers for one of four magazines. While highlighting their skills as singers, models and actresses. As the winner of the challenge, Killer Queen was able to choose her magazine and her partner, opting for Abuela with Arantxa. She then paired Carmen and Dovima on Glamurosa, Pilingui went to Sagittaria and Inti, leaving Pupi and Hugáceo with Chunga. Opting to be kind, and not shady, thinking that is where they will all excel.

The duos quickly split up to work on their looks and brainstorm how to influence within their brands. Killer shared her weight loss journey with Arantxa and how she was bullied throughout her school life and kids used to take photos of her in the change rooms. And then spoke about coming on to the show to encourage people to love themselves. Ugh, I love her. Sagittaria meanwhile wasn’t feeling loved up and instead assumed the duo would land in the bottom because they’ve been doing nothing but talking. 

Oh and clearly eavesdropping on the chat, Carmen apologised for leading the anti-ugly brigade the week before and vowed to stop.

On set for their modelling Arantxa and Killer were the most ridiculous old grannies, Carmen and Dovima were in their element as slutty models, Pupi and Hugáceo were sexy, alterna-punk delights and Inti and Sagittaria were the filthiest bimbos I’ve ever seen. When it came to the singing portion, the queens had to lip sync on the treadmill with Carmen and Dovima running through it and popping tits, as the former fell off. Killer and Arantxa continued to lean into their ridiculous, Hugáceo – who also fell – and Pupi looked demented, but the latter got special attention from the Pit Crew so she truly won. Before Sagittaria popped a tit and tried to give fellatio.

When it came to their acting challenge, Hugáceo was a sadist waxer that relished Pupi’s overacted pain. The grannies worked hard to pick up the Pit Crew at the bar – swoon – Inti and Sagittaria were a little bit of a mess as phone sex operators, until Sagittaria stepped in as a mother looking for a good mac and cheese recipe. Which I have, coincidentally. Oh and they got to dance with the Pit Crew. As did Carmen and Dovima who were ridiculous, and kinda bad, after realising that they’re dating the same man. Ultimately becoming a very sexy couple themselves.

On the My Roots runway, Pupi was a glamorous red and black showgirl in honour of Madrid. Inti was stunning in a Diablada inspired look from Bolivia, which was used to scare away colonists. It was bright, bold and so powerful, and I loved everything about them. Arantxa came out in honour of the cheese of her home town – Manchego – but plot twist, she wasn’t actually from Castilla la Mancha and instead had an Iberian Ham reveal beneath it.  Hugáceo was once again a flawless work of art,with a heart that literally gave off sparks. Dovima drew inspiration from San Jordi from Cataluna, serving A Knight’s Tale chic and was kind of just, there. Carmen was a sexy pussycat, but to quote Michelle, it is just a bodysuit. While Sagittaria slayed in a gown of dripping, Creme Catalan latex and Killer meanwhile was the good version of the cat look, as a sexy, suited pussy.

The Abeulas magazine ad was a demented delight as the Pit Crew thrusted away in the background before the queens served the creepiest kiss. And well bitch, they died. The judges lived for everything both of the queens did in the challenge and on the runway, however they wished that Killer challenged herself a bit more to get out of her box. Dovima and Carmen’s ad was silly and ridiculous, but they ended up making out only with each other and actually ditched the Pit Crew guy, so big mistake. HUGE. The judges meanwhile wished they were able to showcase a different side of themselves. Though Dovima was praised for growing, the Javier’s wished she would work on her runway walk. As it was a mess.

Chungas magazine was gloriously punk, with the judges living for every minute of it. Though Hugáceo was read for having too much going on in their look. Rounding out the ads, Inti and Sagittaria were hilarious and served us mother daughter bonding over their prostituion careers. Until they fought over their husband/father. That being said, the judges loved everything about Sagittaria but felt like Inti was just there. And that she didn’t have the energy on the runway to sell the outfit. Into then opened up about the meaning behind their outfit, with Ana pointing out that she felt like there was too much happening and while the message was strong, the look was confusing. Though wished it had more detail, confusing the hell out of Inti.

Ultimately Killer, Arantxa, Carmen and Hugáceo were deemed safe and sent to untuck before the judges read Dovima for not giving enough. Pupi was praised for thinking outside the box on the runway and being a damn delight in the performance. Inti was praised for the stories they infuse into their outfits, with Javier Ambrossi encouraging them to take critiques that mean something to them onboard and tune out the ones that don’t, but cautioned they are only trying to help them. And Sagittaria received universal praise for everything she did.

We then forwent Untucked as Inti brokedown and started to get out of her drag and remove her make as the other queens rallied around to try and talk her out of it. But sadly, they couldn’t as Inti shared that she mentally can’t face week after week of being misunderstood and honestly, I relate to that on a deep level. Add to that the pressure of being in a competition and it more than makes sense.

Supremme joined them backstage to try and talk them out of it and remind them it is a fair competition, but it fell on deaf ears. As the top seven returned to the stage, with Sagittaria taking out her first victory of the season, Dovima lip synced alone and Inti was left to join me for a delicious Beetroot & Minti Salad.

Neither of us was feeling very jovial after her emotional elimination, but this salad truly is life affirming. Sweet, tart and packing a massive punch, this is the perfect way to get yourself back in the game.

Enjoy!

Beetroot & Minti Salad
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 beetroot, peeled and grated
1 orange, peeled, segmented and diced
½ cup mint leaves, torn
100g feta, crumbled
olive oil, salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Soooo, its salad so just chuck it all in a bowl with a lug of oil and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Give it a toss and serve.

Before devouring, obvs.


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