Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls played the Snatch Game. And well, as is tradition, there weren’t many wins, though thankfully Ashley and Isis slayed. The former giving us gay Jesus – but for real, not JVN – while Isis’ choice to pivot from her original pick Gloria Swanson to Donatella Versace proved correct. At the other end of the pack was the rest of them, though for reasons, Flor was popped in the bottom despite her Charro only being one note rather than bad (like say, Italy’s Gabriella Labucci). Rita, however, was just bad bad as she found herself lip syncing for the third time and finally being put out of her misery. Though she got the recipe of the season, so that is kind of a win, TBH.
Backstage Flor barely read the mirror measure before wiping it away and assuring the dolls that she is now primed and ready to rise again. As they sat down, Gabriella praised Ashley for the victory and slaying Snatch Game in general, while Bumpa admitted that she was sure it would be Isis taking out victory. Which obviously annoyed Ashley, who felt she was just being bitter as she is on the decline, while Ashley is on the up and up. So they’re either a winning duo or in the bottom two tonight, no?
The next day the dolls were feeling rather zen, reiterating it felt like it was Rita’s time to go which led to Isis joking that Flor’s time may also be up soon. This fired her up, leading to Gabriella explaining that everyone has kinda won or had a star moment, while she hasn’t and as such, it was a fair assessment. Which absolutely made her lose it, cussing out Gabriella and telling her she bombed Snatch Game and should have been in the lip sync but just got lucky. Lucky to be beloved.
Before she could make it physical, Ru arrived and thankfully opened the library, with the help of a rugged zaddy member of the Pit Crew named Ben. So like the dolls, my basement is flooded. Gabriella was up first and bombed like it was Snatch Game. Isis too, sucked. Thankfully, them being so bad let Ru open up and read the dolls herself, so at least we started to win, I guess. Bumpa had a single joke, Flor was ok, Ashley also had a single read while Hollywould had energy but zero jokes. Not a one. And as such, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, Ru deemed Ben from the Pit Crew the winner. And in addition to his $2500 worth of glitter, he would be the one dividing the dolls into two girl groups for this week’s Maxi Challenge.
Inspired by Nicky Kid’s greatest film (outside of the AMC commercial) BMX Bandits, the dolls would write verses on the new hit single BMX Bitches, record them with Michelle and then perform live on the mainstage. And with Ben from the Pit Crew being another messy Ben (or under the guidance of Alexis Michelle), he joyfully grouped Ashley, Bumpa and Flor as one band, leaving Isis, Hollywould and Gabriella as the other.
After Ru exited, the dolls split up to work through their lyrics, with the latter group thrilled to be together. Gabriella planned to lean into character in the performance, given she is starting to get sick and lose her voice, with her sisters sweetly assuring her it was a good idea. The other group meanwhile were ready to prove themselves, while Ashley wistfully looked at the group of challenge winners, wishing she was with them rather than win-less Flor and Bumpa. As team winners powered ahead with their verses, Bumpa and Co were focused on trying to come up with a name. And sitting round in awkward silence. Meaning they are winning, or it is so obviously bad, there is no hiding it.
F.A.B. International – aka Flor, Ashley and Bumpa – were first up to record with Michelle with Ashley struggling to give energy, notes and personality. Flor on the other hand was sassy and delightfully, getting Michelle back into a good mood. While Bumpa was somewhere in the middle, giving so many words Toto style, though also getting a chance to shine. Leaving Ashley super nervous about the performance. The dolls traded out with SNS (Sexy & Stupid) where Gabriella’s smoker character to hide her busted voice was beloved, Hollywould rapped the shit out of her verse while Isis committed to singing. Sadly just the one note though, annoying Michelle who asked her to speak her verse instead. Leading her to spiral as Gabriella and Hollywould encouraged her to stay confident.
Backstage Isis opened up to her sisters, heartbroken to have let herself down as Ashley too joined the pity party. Feeling like she has well and truly made a fool of herself. Thankfully their sisters divide their time between the duo, raising them up and encouraging them to focus on how fierce they are.
F.A.B. were first to work through the choreography with Corey Barker, complete with bikes for all the dolls. And while it looks to be hilarious, camp fun, I’m not sure either of the groups will be able to nail it. Because bikes. Ashley continued to doubt herself and Bumpa had Corey confused, so bless, Flor seemed great by comparison. SNS meanwhile were solid, nailing their handlebar wanking, though it was clear Hollywould was truly a star (see what I did there?). Though Gabriella was also pretty damn good.
Elimination Day arrived with Isis still nervous, while Gabriella’s voice sounded even worse, morphing more and more into Madge. Ashley, bless, tried to assure her she’ll be resting at home tomorrow, Gabriella destroying her as she reminded her that she shouldn’t really talk as the weakest dancer of the group.
We quickly pivoted to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined on the panel by the iconic Rachel Hunter. F.A.B. were up first with the performance clearly owned by Flor as Bumpa seemed lost for most of the time and well, it happened and Ashley was there. SNS meanwhile, slayed. Even Isis who had the energy and sold each moment. Gabriella was a demented, bogan, delight, though it was clear Hollywould was the Beyonce of the group; fierce, energetic and fun in each and every moment. On the Fuschia? I Don’t Even Know Her! runway Gabriella was a gorgeous fuschia space diva, Isis meanwhile gave futuristic snake queen, Hollywould was all glamour in an ode to old Hollywood, Bumpa was hilarious as I Dream of Jeanie, Ashley on the other hand was perfection in a gorgeous gown while Flor too gave alien enchantress.
Gabriella received universal praise for the performance, particularly for overcoming her lack of voice, while they also lived for her runway. Isis was praised for slaying the performance despite her weakness in the recording, and her outfit was just as beloved while Hollywould was the most beloved, for owning the performance and the runway. Bumpa’s runway received praise though she was read for getting lost in the performance, despite the fact she always sells fun. Ashley’s look in the performance was beloved, though all they could focus on were her nerves. Which was a direct contrast to the runway, which she nailed. Flor’s performance on the other hand was loved as was the runway, though Michelle hated the fit of her girl group look.
Feeling shady, Ru asked the dolls who they felt should go home, with Gabriella saying Flor, Isis hedging her bets between Flor and Ashley, Hollywould identified Ashley and Bumpa, while Ashley and Bumpa said Flor, while Flor returned serve on Bumpa. As such, backstage Flor was feeling nice and spicy, while Gabriella and Isis tried to start things off with an apology. Flor coldly suggested she didn’t care, while Ashley admitted she actually wanted to say Bumpa as Hollywould admitted that she picked Bumpa and Ashley because they clearly got the worst critiques. The dolls then started to fight, with everyone kinda agreeing Bumpa was the worst in the challenge and has gotten by in the competition thanks to her personality. To make Bumpa feel better, Isis tried to suggest Flor had also had that luck, leading to Ashley jumping in to defend her, yet again. And damn, they are cranky this week!
Ultimately SNS were deemed the top group, though it was Hollywould that took out victory solo. Flor too was deemed safe, leaving Bumpa and Ashley to lip sync for the final spot, to the Masterchef theme no less! And damn, it was a show. Both of the dolls hit every lyric and all the energy, though it was clear that Bumpa’s camp energy had the judges delighted. Tragically leading to Ashley’s exit, the newest member of the win to elim club.
As she arrived backstage, I pulled Ashley and her nipple pasties in for a massive hug and immediately reminded her she should be proud of herself. While she got off to a rough start, she always gave us iconic moments and won the Snatch Game, the latter of which should qualify her for an All Stars season on its own. Which seemed to perk her up enough to celebrate her success and toast to leveraging her appearance with a piping hot Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich.
Does this pretty much just use leftovers from the fridge? Sure! But when it tastes this good, despite being so easy, who cares? The spicy kimchi and the sweet, crispy chicken make the perfect pairing on their own, but when you add in some vintage cheese, it truly sings.
Enjoy!
Chicken & Kimchley Madisondwich
Serves: 2.
Ingredients
4 slices bread
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
6 slices of vintage cheddar cheese
2 cups Josh Karaagate Chicken
1 cup kimchi
Method
Assuming you’ve already got the mayo, chicken and kimchi ready – or have some lying around the fridge – this is super simple.
Smear mayo on the bread, layer the cheese on two of the slices, top with karaage and kimchi, followed by the remaining bread. And then devour, gloriously.
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