Apple Cider Vinegar

Rogue Reuben

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Lunch, Main, Sandwich, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways arrived in Samoa ready to prove who was better at the game, good or evil. While Sandra proved Villains generally do it better (multiple times), the Heroes went on a winning streak when it came to the immunity challenges, despite Rogue being the only true hero. Because despite winning all the rewards, the Villains sadly didn’t snag the Meat Tray that is the alpha athlete alliance. Back at the villains, after two losses in a row George found an idol while Simon found SOMETHING that he decided was an idol. With that in mind, Simon wanted to blindside George using the bling with Jordie trying to talk him out of it. At tribal council they floated the idea to Shiz who were not on board, instead talking the boys into taking out Mimi instead.

The next day at the dwindling Villains camp, George was busy hunting for his hat which Simon had burnt at tribal council the previous night in the hopes of being Sandra. That being said, he acted helpful, trying to figure out what happened to it before George gutted him by announcing he doesn’t really care about the damn hat, once again besting the nemesis. The nemesis he doesn’t even realise he has. With that out of the way, the tribe sat around eating cookies and reflecting on the excitement of the previous tribal council and changing the target from Stevie to Mimi at the last minute. Simon meanwhile was thrilled to have an idol, catching up with Jordie to show him what it looks like and well, Jordie’s reaction that it doesn’t look like one should be a warning to him.

We checked in with the Heroes – a good sign we might see a different tribe at tribal tonight – where Sharni was delighted as Paige whipped up some coconut rice. Poor Gerry wandered in with a foot injury with sweet Sharni looking after him, while Hayley was making sure he was fed and ugh, I love watching Sharni dote over him and stop him from working hard. She pointed out that the tribe was feeling pretty harmonious with the girls getting along, the boys bonding and well, Rogue just continued to offend and annoy everyone. Today she focused on how dumb the tribe are, not putting things under the shelter to stay dry. With Hayley summing it up as her working to reduce pain in the outside world, while Rogue had a solid knack for inflicting it.

Knowing she was an easy vote, Hayley started to get eager to go to tribal council and vote out Rogue though was concerned of her target as the sole winner in the cast. As such, she took Flick out to hunt for an idol under the cover of collecting wood. While they were on opposite sides on their original season, like Shonee, Flick was willing to work with Hayley for as long as it suits her. And then, and only then, will she stab her in the back and blindside her.

We caught up with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge – at the site of the very first challenge of the rebooted franchise – where the tribes would face off in trios to collect a football and then pass it to a kicker to score a goal. For an epic pizza party which, TBH feels super unfair for the Villains given the Heroes have not one but two AFL players. First up were the two AFL players, Sharni and Rogue versus Shiz, Simon and Jordie, with Shiz having to call out Rogue for being a psycho – who then told Liz she was a bit of a … – before David put them out of their misery and took out the point for Heroes after two misses from Jordie. Sarah, Stevie, George and Fraser faced off against Flick, Sam, Gerry and Matt with Sam being a bit of a jerk to George and Stevie and well, it was kind of a mess but thankfully Flick got it on her third kick and secured reward for the Heroes.

More importantly, every time Rogue uttered a word from the sideline, the Villains all rolled their eyes.

The Heroes were delighted to find their chest of pizzas back at camp until they realised they were all frozen. Oh and in one of the frozen pizza boxes, David and Sam found a clue to a hidden immunity idol. Though given he kept moving it from butt to taint and back again, I feel like it wasn’t as stealthily pocketed as he thought. Sam was thrilled to have found the clue for his allies, hopeful the idol will propel them to the end. And watching him try to figure out the clue with Shaun and David was hilarious, and I hope the plan to delay looking will come back to bite them. Shaun admitted that not having gone to tribal council puts them all on edge, given they need to draw a line in the sand and as such, he is not sure whether they should make the big move and target Hayley as a winner or get rid of an easy target Rogue who is, um, pretty awful and will delay they having to show their cards.

Hayley meanwhile realised that somebody had found the clue amongst the pizzas and as such, knew time was ticking for her to find the idol and protect herself should they go to tribal council. Speaking of which, she approached Shaun and Benjamin to float the idea of throwing the upcoming immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue. And while the boys were very much on board, her strategic mind to keep a strong 11 rather than a divisive 12 coming into a swap made Shaun more concerned about her.

We quickly reunited with my love JLP for the aforementioned immunity challenge where the tribes would have to hold on to a long log upside down elevated above the ocean with the last tribe to have two people holding on jagging immunity. After all the men on Heroes opted out other than Ben and Gerry – iconic, no – the tribes took their places with Jordie, Simon and Paige all struggling almost instantly. After four minutes Paige dropped, quickly followed by Flick and Benjamin. Simon was first to go from the Villains before Nina exited on the Heroes. Poor Gerry was next to go before Geroge dropped the Villains down to six versus three on the Heroes. As Stevie cheered on his tribe, Rogue dropped out of nowhere leaving Hayley and Sharni to fight for immunity before Hayley hilariously tried to look like she accidentally dropped, handing the jubilant Villains immunity.

As Sam wondered how Hayley actually dropped, given she looked so comfy. While Simon held Stevie in his arms as they celebrated.

Back at camp the tribe came together with the sit outs assuring the people that competed that they were impressed with how hard they fought, despite the loss. They then split up to plot with Nina and Hayley locking in the Rogue vote, with Nina ready for her to get spicy on the way out the door, given she is Rogue. Hayley went to Sharni to loop her in, followed by Flick who gave off the appearance that they didn’t even need to discuss it because, duh. The only thing that was a worry for Hayley was the potential spoiler of an idol, as such, suggesting they split on Gerry given he has an injured foot. 

After everyone reiterated the plan to get out Rogue was super obvious, the tribe caught up to smash some coconuts when Hayley realised that Rogue had disappeared. Not wanting Rogue to ruin her plans, Hayley pulled her aside to check what she was thinking with Rogue floating Shaun and David as options, while Shaun watched on from the bushes. Which made him once again suggest that getting rid of Hayley would make sense. Despite Rogue being the one to throw out his name. Paranoid, Shaun caught up with David and suggested they keep an eye on Hayley to make sure she doesn’t do anything wild. He then approached Flick to float the idea of them switching things up on Hayley with her admitting that it would be smart. She approached Nina who cautioned that they know Hayley is a limited time player, though I’m hopeful that means she means she needs to stay tonight because she will always be a target down the track.

The boys meanwhile were confident, busy locking in their votes for Hayley, as she was busy hunting for the idol. The Meat Tray then joined in the hunt, desperate to foil her plans, as Shaun jagged himself his first ever legit idol. Because let’s not forget that David completely duped him with a fakey. In any event, the find put some wind in his sails and got him ready to pull off a blindside. While Rogue told producers this isn’t a real tribal as there are no guns, so again, please don’t be stupid Shaun. Get Hayley later.

At tribal council – thankfully minus guns – Rogue popped her shirt near the fire to help it dry as she spoke about how the tribe didn’t get margs or sex like on a honeymoon, so it’s not like a honeymoon could even be over, thank you JLP! Reminding everyone she is way too abrasive. Hayley meanwhile spoke about the fact they’ve had so much time to build bonds given they spent the first week immune, meaning they should be able to make a smart decision rather than using petty reasons. Flick meanwhile felt the game had been on pause, so was ready to know where they stand after tonight while Gerry was grateful to be around such accomplished people. While Rogue reiterated that they weren’t all heroes, which again made everyone give a collective eye roll as she clarified only Matt and Gerry were heroes. When Paige questioned whether Rogue was actually a hero, she got very salty and aggressively argued with her, offended to not be called a hero.

This fired Nina up, who stepped in to point out Rogue can come across really poorly, schooling her for speaking to everyone like trash. While Paige offered a calm ‘I agree,’ despite simmering with rage. Rogue tried to downplay the way she comes across with Sam jumping in saying it is fine that she doesn’t like anyone, before she realised everyone wanted her out and as such, requested to go. Like a you can’t fire me, I quit. This left Sam confused, Hayley was scared of the simplicity and Shaun was ready to get rid of some tension. With that the tribe voted as Rogue heckled Paige, telling her it should be easy for her to write down a name, as poor Paige just appeared shocked by how someone could be such a jerk. Jonathan then tallied the votes, as they piled up on Rogue before gagging the tribe as four votes came in for sweet Gerry and one for Paige – who iconically told Rogue there is no love there to share – before we were finally free of Rogue.

As soon as she arrived at Loser Lodge, I asked Rogue to take a seat and talk me though why she had been saying and doing the things she has. Given, you know, my extensive feuds with celebrities – looking at you Annie Lennox – and the fact none of us are perfect. As we’ve seen play out on social media, there appear to be some deeper issues leading to the drama between her and Paige which humanised that feud for me, however there is no way to dance around they things she said to Nina. Thankfully though, she apologised unreservedly to Nina, so I in turn thanked her for fighting for animals, then decided to continue with culinary comfort as planned, serving up a Rogue Reuben rather than saving it for Benjamin to get two recipes instead.

Given Rogue is such a passionate animal activist, I wanted to give her a recipe that was vegetarian or vegan. And dare I say it, this is even better than a traditional reuben. Sweet and earthy with a bit of a kick, this is the perfect sandwich for a meatless Monday, no?

Enjoy!

Rogue Reuben
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
10 button mushrooms, sliced
5 garlic cloves, minced
¼ head red cabbage, sliced
kosher salt and black pepper, to taste
¼ cup apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp horseradish
4 slices Ryan Ulrich Bread
¼ cup Russian dressing
4 slices Swiss cheese
2 tbsp unsalted butter

Method
To kick things off, divide the oil between two frying pans. In one, add the mushrooms and garlic with a good whack of pepper and cook until soft and golden. About 5 minutes. Meanwhile in the other pan, add the red cabbage and cook for a couple of minutes with a whack of salt and pepper. Stir in the vinegar and horseradish and cook for five minutes, by which time it should be a nice vibrant purple.

To assemble the sandwiches, spread the dressing on the bread, top two of the slices with mushrooms, some cheese, the cabbage and finally, another slice of cheese. Close the sandwiches and butter the top slice of bread with some butter.

Place a clean pan over medium heat and when nice and hot, place the sandwiches buttered side down in the pan. Cook for few minutes, or until golden and crisp. Carefully butter the top of the sandwiches and flip to cook the other side for a few minutes.

Serve immediately and devour, being careful to avoid getting burnt. By the cheese or a sharp tongue.


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Chicken Slidy Boom Boom

Burgers, Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Party Food, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls thought they were all going to be designing runway looks based on differing boxes. However when they opened them to check out their haul, they learnt it was all a ruse and instead, they would be designing looks based on the exact same items. Somehow everyone managed to pull off different looks, with Giselle stunning in a glamorous gown, while Kaos repeated a similar look from the previous design challenge. And Jada just straight up looked a mess. As the dolls untucked, a massive blow-up occurred between Fiercalicious and pretty much everyone, leaving her hurt in a very foul mood. Giselle rightly took out her first victory, while Jada once again saved herself via the lip sync as she sent Kaos packing.

Backstage the mood was well and truly sombre, with everyone missing Koas while Jada was feeling down after having to lip sync again. Despite turning the party, obviously. While everyone congratulated her on her performance, Fiercalicious looked on sulking, leading to Bombae and Kimmy calling her out for being in her feelings. With Kimmy in particular not interested in apologising to her, instead asking her to do better. As everyone gave their two cents, Lady Boom Boom cut them off and told everyone to move on and put high school to bed. And instead, congratulated poor Giselle on her first win. With even her over the idea of being congratulated, given she was sitting in her corset for way too long.

The next day the mood was so much better, with Bombae ready to take out a win before Fiercalicious apologised to her sisters and vowed to be less reactive and open to their feelings. And challenge her energy on a win. And just like that, they were all friends again. Kimmy pointed out that there are four queens with a win, begging the question, when will the other dolls slay? Which led to Irma promising us that should they get a comedy challenge, this could be her moment. Like Snatch Game. Which is what Brooke confirmed was the upcoming challenge as soon as she dropped by. Well, after opening the bibliotheque for some reading.

Fiercalicious channelled her feelings into destroying her sisters and damn, I wasn’t expecting her to be that good at reading. Boom Boom was cute as she sweetly eviscerated the dolls, Irma was brutal and oh so good, Giselle was silly, Jada was sage and cruel, Vivian was kooky and fun, Bombae was amazing while Kimmy was aggressive and amazing. Though ultimately there could only be one winner, and that was the icon herself, Lady Boom Boom.

But more importantly, Snatch Game! As Brooke exited, the dolls split up to talk about their characters with Boom Boom going with iconic Montreal drag queen Mado. Which is what Giselle was planning to do, though given she had back-ups, she did a full Divina and gave her the outfit and opted for someone else. As Jada and Fierce caught up, we learnt that the latter and Kimmy both planned to do Ariana Grande and well, this could get messy. Wait, no, Fierce graciously took the high road without a battle. Though trust she will be pissed if it costs her the competition.

Brooke returned to check on her girls, with Bombae going with Aziz Ansari and well, yes, this could be super fun. Or a total mess. Either way, I want to see it. Jada was planning to go with Saucy, who I’ve never heard of, but they look like an icon, so work. Vivian is going into battle with Ginger Minj and Jessica Chastain by playing Tammy Faye, while Brooke was nervous about Kimmy’s take on Ariana Grande. Though once again, she was confident she would make it fun. Fiercalicious pivoted to Kourtney Kardashian and damn, please let her get into a kickdown fight on the panel. Brooke was excited to see what Lady Boom Boom would do with Mado, while Irma is finally bringing Marilyn to Snatch Game. Oh and Giselle is going to play Marie Curie or Celine Dion, and while Broke seemed into the second (despite her trauma), Marie would be iconic. So let’s hope she sticks to her guns.

Snatch Game kicked off with Bombae bringing the energy while Giselle was perfection from the very first moment, complete with a green glow from beneath the desk. Fierce had the Kardashian vibe down pat, Irma was hilarious, Vivian was the right level of manic and was so damn adorable. Jada’s Saucy was cute and fun, while Kimmy was an absolute mess. In the most entertaining way. While Boom Boom was there. There is no denying that this was Giselle’s challenge to lose though, as she dominated each and every moment – I mean, she lost teeth and hair, drew a new brow with her marker and was all around hilarious – while Irma and Vivian narrowly followed behind for supremacy. At the other end of the pack, Kimmy’s bomb was totally entertaining, while Boom Boom was kinda boring as Bombae just missed the mark.

Elimination Day arrived with Vivian feeling her oats, ready to breakthrough with a potential win. She opened up to Irma, sharing that she was embraced by a group of people at a Baptist Church growing up and that their warmth and kindness helped her become the person she is today. This led to a discussion about all of their journeys with religion, and while Vivian’s was good, Kimmy was sent to a conversion camp, as was Giselle, though somehow accidentally after a priest told her it was an artist camp. And as such, her mother pulled her out when she found out about the lie. Bombae on the flipside was taught about the queer god and goddesses of hindu culture and embraced by her family growing up, though admitted they didn’t know she does drag. With Boom Boom hilariously suggesting that might be for the best, given she hasn’t won a challenge.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the returning Sarain Fox as the dolls stomped the Periodic Table of Elements runway. Fiercalicious was an iconic club kid dominatrix as Neon, Kimmy gave prehistoric A’Whora vibes for calcium before Vivian slayed arsenic as Joker before revealing a Batman love interest in arsenic-made green. Boom Boom was avant garde for bromide, complete with liquid pumping through the architectural look. Giselle was a gorgeous goddess snitch serving gold before Jada gave pop glamour in honour of sodium and Irma was a glamorous ‘50s housewife in a yellow gown for uranium. And then Bombae stole the show as the sexiest living balloon for helium.

Jada and Fiercalicious were both sent to untuck before the judges read Kimmy for filth, despite looking like Ariana in Snatch Game. On the flipside, they lived for her runway. Vivian received wall-to-wall praise for both Snatch Game and her glamorous runway. Sweet Boom Boom was praised for giving perfect Mado in appearance, though read for giving absolutely nothing more. Though they loved her runway. They lived for everything Giselle did this week, from the demented character study, to making them laugh and looking perfect on the runway. They also adored everything Irma did in the Snatch Game and the light and shade she brought to her performance. Oh and they loved her look. Poor Bombae, meanwhile, was praised for starting strong, though read for completely losing momentum. But thankfully, they loved the runway.

Backstage Kimmy was disappointed to be in the bottom, though knew she deserved it and as such, was just ready to bring it in the lip sync. She opened up about not singing in the challenge due to it triggering her gender dysphoria, though didn’t want to bring it up and sound like she was making excuses. Which is super heartbreaking. Boom Boom too was ready to lip sync, while Bombae was disappointed to miss the mark. But was fired up to perform should she have to.

Ultimately Irma Gerd and Vivian were sent to safety as Giselle took out her second win in a row. At the other end of the pack, Bombae runway narrowly saved her as Kimmy and Boom Boom faced off to Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepson. And damn was it good! Both girls hit every lyric and looked so beautiful, while Kimmy stripped off and started kicking and flipping around the stage, poor Boom Boom was kinda held back by her restrictive outfit. Which is honestly the only thing that could split them, saving Kimmy and sending sweet Lady Boom Boom out of the competition.

While she was disappointed backstage, I reminded her that she followed in the tradition of her fellow non-English speaking sisters in stumbling on Snatch Game which is hardly something to be embarrassed about. I mean, ask France host Nicky Doll, it is painfully hard to be funny in another language, and as such, she was always at a disadvantage this week. Which was enough of a pep talk to cheer up the former front runner, giving us plenty of time to lol about while smashing some Chicken Slidy Boom Booms in honour of her slayage.

You know the deal, I love burgers. But sliders have an even bigger place in my heart, given they are baby versions, meaning you can eat twice as much without any guilt. Creamy slaw, chicken so crisp you could cut a tooth and the tang of pickle also doesn’t hurt making these so damn moreish.

Enjoy!

Chicken Slidy Boom Boom
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups red cabbage, shredded
4 shallots, sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 celery stalk, finely sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 ½ tsp apple cider vinegar
2 tsp maple syrup
salt and pepper, to taste
4 boneless pieces of Farrahed Moan Chicken, cut in half
8 slider rolls
4-6 pickles, sliced
4 slices American Cheese, cut in half

Method
Combine the cabbage, shallots, carrot, celery, mayo, apple cider vinegar and maple syrup in a bowl until everything is well coated. Adjust the mayo and seasoning, depending on taste.

After you’ve prepared the chicken as per Farrah’s instructions, split the sliders and pop a spoon of the slaw on the bottom, followed by the pickle, the chicken and then some cheese. Then close and repeat until they’re all done, before smashing, happily.


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Drag Slidlas

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Main, Party Food, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls travelled time – not in the way we do it here, which is legit time travel which again, we invented – as they threw a little centuries ball. As they traversed the past, present and future of drag, most of the girls soared however none moreso than Drag Sethlas, who finally scored a well deserved win. Tragically as the rest of the girls were solid, aside from Estrella’s terrible designed 30th century look, Diamante landed in the bottom opposite her for not doing enough, rather than being a mess. Which tragically led to Estrella destroying the lip sync and sending Diamante home. Again, on a very solid week.

Backstage the dolls were delighted to see that Diamante had left them the antenna from her look, though Estrella did worry that maybe it would bring them bad luck. Which TBH, is not something she could really risk right now. The one thing they could all agree on was that they would miss her kind spirit. Oh and then Estrella pressed her titty on the mirror, which is important. Marina meanwhile told Estrella she was lucky to get the lip sync song she did, before they quickly swept any drama aside to congratulate Sethlas on finally jagging a well earned win.

The next day the queens were butching it up talking about football for some reason, before getting back to normal as they recapped their own ball. With everyone agreeing Estrella’s dumpster fire outfit belongs in a museum. Or to be burnt. Supremme dropped by before they could reach consensus, challenging them to a little itty-bitty mini challenge where they would get into quick drag, write a fighter introduction/poem and get into skydiving suits. And no, that is not something that is lost in translation, the dolls are just as confused as we are.

Given there was a giant gong between Supremme and zaddy pit crew, it should have been obvious that the dolls would be sumo wrestling. For an advantage in the upcoming Maxi Challenge, so you know the dolls were ready to battle. Somehow little Sethlas destroyed Venedita, Estrella quickly beat Sharonne before Marina eliminated Juriji. Tragically. In round two, Sethlas was quickly disposed of by Estrella before she then destroyed Marina. Earning herself the advantage of selecting who everyone would be partnered with in the upcoming Maxi Challenge, where the duos would film Spanish tourism ads. Obviously she selected to work with Sharonne before popping Juriji and Venedita together, leaving Sethlas and Marina to form the third duo.

Supremme departed and left the girls to prep their commercials with Estrella worried about being overshadowed by Sharonne’s talent, though was confident they would continue to work well together. Sethlas and Marina meanwhile looked enraged to be working together, though bless Marina, she focused on writing before they pivoted to shit talking Venedita and Juriji. Who as they predicted were planning to lean into being sexy bimbos and while Marina and Sethlas thought it would be a bad idea, you know they will turn it.

Sharonne and Estrella were first to make it to set with Estrella getting her face sandwiched by the Pit Crew’s butts, so win or lose, she won today. Sharonne then got topped and well, I don’t know if they had a plot but consider me on the next flight. Venedita and Juriji were so fun and stupid, AND had the Pit Crew fucking in their fake dunes, so again, I’m sold. Rounding out the shoots, Marina and Sethlas struggled. Badly. Though maybe because they had a lot less sex in it?

Dia de eliminacion arrived with Marina and Sethlas admitting that they would have preferred to work with someone else, while Sethlas shaded Estrella for taking the easy route of teaming up with frontrunner Sharonne. They split up to prep for the runway with Marina getting this week’s emotional moment, talking about how close she is with her mother and how she is struggling without her and her dad around for support in the competition.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Ruth Lorenzo on the panel as the queens debuted their Raffaella Carra looks for the Night of 1000 Raffaellas runway. Estrella was a vision in red, peeking out of an umbrella and being an absolute delight. Venedita too chose a red look, giving disco diva glamour and ugh, it was perfection. Juriji was stunning in a simple white gown, complete wth shimmering boobs and a phone hidden in her crotch. Sharonne was a golden diva and looked stun-ning while Sethlas was a bronzed beauty in a sea of fabric. Oh and then Marina stole the show in a sequined, cabaret style look.

When it came to the commercials, Sharonne and Estrella were totally demented and showed off pit crew booty, so yeah, that is a win to me. Despite it making zero sense. Though bless their passion for the glory hole. Oh and the judges loved it and both of their runways. Sethlas and Marina’s ad was far more sexed than the taping led us to believe, and somehow, it made less sense than the first one. The judges meanwhile read it for being too filthy and not showing any light or shade. Marina’s runway was praised for playing into her strengths, while Sethlas was read for being too abstract in her approach. Venedita and Juriji’s ad was hilariously camp and culminated in seagulls shitting on them. So yeah, the judges lived for it and them. Particularly praising their chemistry, despite it being quite stereotypical. When it came to their runways, both where praised for looking absolutely stunning and doing Raffaella proud.

Supremme decided now would be the right time to make them all shady, asking who should go home tonight with Sharonne singling out Marina for a lack of personality. Estrella said that Sethlas should go home because of her shitty ad, while Marina said Juriji though couldn’t give a reason. Sethlas thought Juriji should go because she isn’t showing enough diversity, while Venedita and Juriji agreed Marina should go for her sub-par performance in the ad.

Backstage the dolls were well and truly feeling tense, while Sharonne tried to remind them that it wasn’t personal and they need to move on. While Estrella tried to make Sethlas feel better about saying her, she ended up saying that Juriji isn’t versatile which filled her with rage. When she got sassy with the girls, it was Sethlas’ turn to feel enraged as she cussed out Juriji for disrespecting her. Before Marina thankfully pointed out she is the one that was named the most and as such, they should chill out. Sadly it didn’t work as Sethlas continued to bitch about Juriji not being versatile and the judges not expecting the same from her, before they thankfully split up to freshen their mugs.

Ultimately Sharonne and Estrella both took out the win, while Juriji and Venedita were thankfully sent to safety leaving Sethlas and Marina to lip sync for their lives. Obviously, to one of Queen Raffaella’s songs, Que dolor. And while I was expecting Sethlas to absolutely demolish Marina, the latter absolutely slayed. Giving all the camp fun and fancy footwork the song required, embodying Rafaella while Sethlas was kinda just there and while she did give us a surprising glitter reveal near the end, it wasn’t enough to save herself as Marina stayed in the pocket and saved herself.

Despite being heartbroken to have missed out on the finale, Sethlas perked up when we were reunited backstage. You see, as a short man, I have an affinity with the Carina queens, given we always meet up at platform conventions. Which is where Sethlas and I first became friends as little fellas. As such, it was such an honour to be there for her in her lowest momentand reminding her how much of a star she is over a big ol’ batch of Drag Slidlas.

Rich, sticky barbecue pork, mised with the creaminess of the slaw and the tartness of the pickle work together perfectly to deliver a quick and easy snack, that also feels like you’ve put in a tonne of effort. Which, TBH, is important.

Enjoy!

Drag Slidlas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
4 cups pulled pork
1 ½ cups apple cider vinegar
3 garlic cloves, smashed
1 red chilli
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 tbsp dijon mustard
2 tsp smoke essence
½ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp pepper
16 slider rolls
2 cups Benjamin Slaw
8 dill pickles, drained and sliced

Method
I’m going to assume you’ve got a favourite pulled pork recipe, or you’ve got some pre-prepped. That is for no other reason than me being lazy and not living for the fattiness of the pork. In any event, get the meat ready first and foremost.

While the meat is getting prepped, combine the vinegar, garlic, chilli, muscovado sugar, tomato paste, dijon mustard, smoking essence, salt and pepper in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for five minutes. Remove from the heat and pout over the warm pulled pork.

To assemble your sliders, cut all the buns in half and spoon some slaw on the bottoms of each. Top with a couple of slices of pickle, followed bu the pulled pork before devouring, greedily. You could also add some swiss cheese if you want some cheese in the mix, but these are so tasty, you honestly don’t need to worry.



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Birriana Goodchild

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, 24 new castaways were dropped into the middle of the lush, Australian bushland. While they entered the game as 12 pairs, Jonathan quickly split them up to form two tribes of individuals. Each had to face off in the first reward challenge where Nina beat her mother – Queen Sandra – to secure reward for her tribe. The Water tribe however bombed the following immunity challenge, while a poor, injured Alex looked on from the sidelines. Back at camp, Andy quickly suggested everyone should band together to get rid of him, however Nina had other ideas as she effortlessly rallied the tribe against Andy. At tribal, Shayelle and Briana were beaten to the idol by Chrissy which was ultimately pointless given Andy was booted anyway.

The next day Shayelle was worried about how her partner Ben was faring over on the other tribe, so focused her energy on leading the tribe in some yoga as a distraction. Because she is an actual yogi, rather than a Henry yogi. While everyone was living for her calming energy, Chrissy was more focused on the fact she was a goddess and instead decided she would try and beef her up in the jungle.

Meanwhile over at the Blood tribe, Sophie was struggling with the heat and completely shocked by life in the jungle. We then learnt that the tribe had still not gotten fire which is quite a concern on Day 3. Thankfully, Briana’s dad Dave finally got a flame as everyone gathered around to block the wind, which instantly changed everyone’s mood as they sat down to a pot of rice. Sophie caught up with Sandra, sharing that a bunch of people would love to learn from her while they are here which made Sandra feel mildly more relaxed about her standing. Though Sophie knew that as great as having Sandra is, she is always a threat. Which should in turn make her nervous. The tribe ventured to the well, worried about who had been voted out at the last tribal council with Kate already having a bad feeling it was Andy. While Sandra warned us that should Nina be voted out, she will be coming for anyone and everyone like the Hulk.

Speaking of Nina she was busy knocking up a washing line on the Water Tribe before they all lazed under the shelter to enjoy some shade. That is, until some of the logs started to snap and they had to rebuild the entire structure. Nina shared that while her mum prepared her for life in the game, she is wanting to play her own game and opened up to her allies that Andy being so keen to be in the presence of her mum is part of what made her nervous about him. Tragically though, while she was vibing on Mark, Alex and Jordie, she was unsure how to feel about Khanh, which is essentially my dream alliance. Particularly as Briana got in her ear talking about how threatening he is.

While that makes me nervous, given the fact that Chrissy is out for Briana’s blood after the way she treated her at the last tribal council, I am hopeful Chrissy will get her revenge before I lose my love Khanh.

Briana meanwhile was living her best life, loving her in-game bestie Shayelle and thinking she is a boss. We learnt a bit more about her, which essentially was that she rollerskates, wears rainbow stripes and is fun. Which is all you need to know – I mean, after the last two years, I’ll take an eternal optimist to bring up my mood! Thankfully, she is self-aware to know her performance at tribal council could be a problem for her game so approached Chrissy in the water to apologise to her and clear the air. And while I thought it was going to be a good thing, her apology was essentially, the game has started and as such, Chrissy was even more annoyed by how intense she is.

The tribes joined Jonathan by a river where poor Kate was heartbroken to see her big brother Andy had indeed been voted out and ugh, watching her hold back tears was heartbreaking. Until she shaded the Water tribe, pointing out he is weirdly good at both puzzles and throwing things and as such, they just made it easier for her tribe to win challenges. Speaking of which, today’s would see people from each tribe racing to climb out of a large, net cube before jumping off and grabbing a flag to secure a point. First to four winning fishing gear and comfort items.

Once again, Sandra refused to sit out of the challenge with Sam taking her place on the sit out bench as Croc and Jesse faced off against her husband Mark and Khanh. And damn, Khanh was a beast as he battled Jesse, climbed out and scored the first point for Water. Kate and Sophie then fought off Nina and Briana and damn, was it a fight as they all scraped and yanked at each other before Nina broke free and snatched another point for the Water tribe. Leading to Sandra apologising to Kate for her daughter’s behaviour.

We then had Mark introduce Khanh to Sam as his boyfriend and just like that, my basement is flooded. I mean, Mark and Sam are so relaxed and fun this year, and I’m living for it!

Up next were Shay and Chrissy fighting Sandra and Amy, with Shay single handedly fighting everyone off and taking out another point for Water. That meant KJ and Khanh faced off against David and Michelle for victory, where David literally tried to rip off Khanh’s shorts who nearly gave full Sugar, before pulling up his pants and securing the win for his tribe. Given this is Blood V Water, Jonathan gave them the opportunity to share their spoils with the other tribe with Water quickly opting to give their loved ones some comfort items while they hung on to the fishing gear.

Back at camp the Water tribe were thrilled by how well they performed in the reward challenge. Well, for a split second before Briana held on to the tackle box with a vice grip to hunt for an idol clue in front of all of the tribe. While she thought she was super smooth and bubbly about it, she was well and truly putting everyone off side as Khanh complained about her intensity. And vowed to keep how at risk she is from her so she continues to annoy the tribe until they boot her from the game.

Meanwhile the Blood tribe were grateful to have been given their comfort items, none more so than Kate who was still heartbroken to have lost Andy. As she walked off to clear her mind, Michelle joined her to make sure she was ok. As they wandered chatting and looking for firewood, Kate spotted Ben, Sophie, Amy, Jordan and Sam plotting by the well, suggesting that if Andy is cutthroat, it is likely Kate is too and as such, they need to keep an eye on her. We then learnt more about Sam who promised us that she has learnt from the mistakes from her first game, vowing to be less anxious and more observant. Oh and she and Mark just want to get to the merge so they can reunite and run the game to the end like Rob and Amber before them.

Back with the rest of the tribe, Croc was asking Sandra about whether there is a point in the game where everyone just loses their mind, with her wisely explaining how everyone gets paranoid at different times and you just need to be agile. Sadly for Croc though, while he was learning from the great, Sam and Sophie are already suggesting he can’t get to the merge and as such, he won’t last long enough to find out more.

The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would have to drag three barrels over hurdles before grabbing three more barrels, which they thenhad to navigate through a path and up to the top of a platform before rolling them down to knock vases off a series of poles. After Sophie took her place on the bench – Sandra wisely choosing to keep performing in the challenges – both tribes made their way to the second trio of barrels neck and neck. While Water had the slightest of leads, Croc’s leadership, and honestly brute strength, was enough to see them close the gap. Wait, no, Water pulled away again and then knocked over their first vase before Blood even joined the fray. Eventually Blood started rolling too, quickly tying things up as both tribes knocked off their second vases in quick succession. Before Jesse calmly knocked off Blood’s third and secured immunity for the tribe.

Back at camp Briana was ready to cause a little bit of chaos in the hope of saving her game, while Chrissy shared that she is feeling like a hot mess. She admitted to KJ and Mark that she is feeling very nervous, with Mark emphatically telling her not to worry. Chrissy then caught up with Mel, Jordie and Josh to lock in the vote for Briana, knowing that she has been playing too hard too fast and as such they need to take her out. Chrissy assured them that she watched Briana like a hawk yesterday but reminded them that somebody needs to watch her today to make sure she doesn’t find an idol and ruin any plans.

Oh and Chrissy shared she is aligned with KJ, Mark, Mel, Jordie, Josh and Khanh and ugh, why is Nina not included in this majority?!

Speaking of Nina, Briana pulled her and Alex aside to float going after Chrissy which they obviously agreed to. As Briana went person to person to woo them to her side, she got absolutely nothing and as such, grew more and more paranoid. She and Shayelle then went hunting for the idol, leading to the rest of the tribe sending out a search party, arriving just in time to see Shay unhook a hidden immunity idol from the top of a tree. As Briana ran to her to celebrate the moment and I assume, her safety.

While King Khanh threatened to steal it before making the real boss move of picking it up from the ground and handing it to Shay, reminding her it is hers and hers only. In front of everyone. After Briana went back to camp, Khanh and Nina got into Shayelle’s ear and told her that Briana was totally planning to steal the idol from her which is why he jumped in to give it to her. Sadly, the drama only made Shayelle more confused about tribal council given she will clearly either be sending her ally Briana home or instead Chrissy, who brings good vibes to the tribe.

At tribal council Alex opened up about how shocked he was to survive his first tribal council, though he shared how grateful he was, given he feels much better. Josh spoke about how that speaks to their desire for a cohesive tribe rather than tossing him aside at the first sign of injury, which immediately made Briana talk about how much she loves everyone. Though she did admit that she is closest to Shay. As Briana spoke about hoping the tribe valued her, Chrissy said that everyone should be expecting their name to come up and as such, she is nervous. Jordie said that everyone is performing in challenges, so like Josh, his vote would be based on keeping the tribe harmonious. 

Chrissy suggested she would have received more votes at the last tribal council if she didn’t find the idol. Mark suggested that this tribal council would be pretty logical and not problematic while Briana assured her allies that she trusts everyone she spoke with (like Andy last tribal, uh oh). Chrissy agreed she could trust her people though wasn’t exactly sure she trusts the plan. Briana then started whispering to Shay to vote for Chrissy before Khanh spoke about being close to a few people, which made Briana more and more nervous. Despite being confident earlier, Briana started to spiral before trying to pull it together. And then immediately threatened the tribe that she was ready to do something crazy.

With that, the tribe voted and nothing crazy happened as the tribe banded together to boot Briana from the game. Well except for Mark who threw a vote on Chrissy, ideally to paint a target on Shay though I feel he is way too nice and was just covering bases in case an idol was played.

But I’ve digressed. Like Andy yesterday, seeing Briana arrive in Loser Lodge was quite triggering because I see a lot of myself in her. I’m a little bit too much and when backed into a corner, try too hard to win people back despite it being the last thing people want. While Bri was disappointed to be out of the game, she was already hopeful to come back, learn from her mistakes and take out the win – which honestly, is the kind of energy the world needs right now. As such, I served up a big bowl of Birriana Goodchild and vowed to send all the good vibes for her second go.

Don’t let the looks fool you! While birria may appear to be a boring old stew, it is actually a feisty bowl of flavour and goodness. Which like Bri, is just what the world needs more off.

Enjoy!

Birriana Goodchild
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
5 dried guajillo chillies
4 dried ancho chillies
4 dried chiles de arbol
¼ cup apple cider vinegar
400g tinned crushed tomatoes
10 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp dried Mexican oregano
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
2 tbsp olive oil
1.2kg beef chuck, cut into a large dice
salt and pepper, to taste
1 onion, diced
1L beef stock
2 sprigs thyme leaves
2 bay leaves
1 cinnamon stick
½ teaspoon cloves

Method
Place the chillies in a bowl and top with freshly boiled water. Leave to soak for 10 minutes before removing the stems and seeds. Combine the soft chillies with the apple cider vinegar, tomatoes, garlic, oregano, paprika, cumin and 3 cups of the chilli water in a blender and blitz until smooth. Leave aside.

Preheat the oven to 150ºC.

Heat the oil in a dutch oven over medium heat, season the chunks of beef and sear a few pieces at a time, until browned and caramelised on the outside. Remove to rest on a plate and repeat the process until done.

Return the beef back to the pot and top with the chilli mixture, onion, stock, bay leaves, thyme, cinnamon and cloves. Stir and bring to the boil before covering and popping in the oven to cook for about 3 hours, or until juicy and tender.

Remove from the oven and remove the visible bay leaves, cinnamon and cloves – or play it fast and loose like me and eat around the cloves. Serve immediately and devour, glad to have played the game.


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Sosie Bacon Jam

Condiment, Gravy, Sauce

Wellity wellity, look who is back for some Sunday sauciness! Wait, no, shit, like Patty Hogg, I’ve said too much, I’ve said too much. Let me backpedal, I was on the phone to my love Kev last weekend – it was Daddy’s day, after all – and my god-daughter Sosie yelled out to send her love and talk about how much she missed me.

After Kev and I were done letting each other know how much we love each other, I got him to put Sose on the line and told her to get out here and visit with me some time. Ten minutes later she told me the flights were booked and to get baking.

So obviously I have known Sosie for her entire life and as her godfather have always tried to help her out when she needed it. I then got her cast in the Scream TV show, in an HBO vehicle and opposite three of my boyfriends in 13 Reasons Why, so I think you would agree I’ve been quite successful.

I was feeling super nostalgic spending time with Sosie, so told her how proud I am of her ad nauseum. Before whipping her up a vat of Sosie Bacon Jam.

 

 

Sticky, sweet and with a gloriously salty kick, bacon jam is quite possibly one of my favourite things. Chuck it on a burger, a sandy, with some cheese, in a quiche, hell even a shoe Old Gregg style, I will eat it.

Enjoy!

 

 

Sosie Bacon Jam
Serves: 1-2 cups.

Ingredients
olive oil
500g streaky bacon, finely diced
1 onion, finely diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
⅓ cup bourbon
⅔ cup apple cider vinegar
¼ cup muscovado sugar
2 tbsp thyme leaves
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Heat a small lug of olive oil in a large saucepan and cook the bacon over medium heat for about fifteen minutes, or until crispy, caramelised and straight up glorious. Add the onion and garlic and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Add the bourbon and cook the alcohol off for a minute before stirring through the apple cider, muscovado and thyme. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and leave to simmer, stirring semi-frequently, for 20 minutes, or until thick and sticky.

Season to taste and transfer to a sterilised jar. Or just eat with a spoon like a true member of the Bacon clan would.

It can keep for a week or so refrigerated, but I don’t think you’ll have any left over. Just sayin’.

 

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Joe Manngo Chutney

Condiment, Dip, Sauce, Survivor, Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, the Mike and Joe frantically searched for cracks in the alliance of seven. While they were successful in finding an in, it was in know way to their credit, as Ben, Lauren, Devon and Ashley hatched a plan to blindside Ryan and Chrissy and take control. While I’m still confused how inserting someone into the game on day 28 only to blindside them is a power move, farewell JP. We barely knew ye!

Things were hella awkward back at camp after the blindside, with Ben pretending to be upset and Chrissy pretending to be cool with the vote … as her voice got higher and higher with each sentence. Ryan was mildly more successful pretending to be gracious about the blindside, though was still hella pissed about the vote. Though it appears not as personally attacked as Chrissy. In any event, Ben should play the Glenn Close role in the reboot of Fatal Attraction.

Ben went for a walk with Lauren and Ashley to discuss their success under the guise of making nice, while Ryan and Devon got together to clear the air. While Ryan tried to argue the semantics of his idol lie, Devon pretended they were ok despite being completely unmoved.

The next day Devon entered the winner’s edit fray, giving some nice personal content before meeting up with Ben for some breakfast, thankful that after one vote, their majority will be on lock and Ben can come out of the closet. The alliance closet, tragically. In any event, Devon’s cockiness seems far more likeable, making me feel like it won’t bite him in the butt. Yet.

My boy Probst arrived for a spa reward challenge, where the tribes would be split into teams and required to swim to a boat before rowing to the shore, collecting blocks along the way. They then need to use the blocks to push puzzle pieces out of a tunnel before, obvi, building said puzzle. Ashley, Ben, Devon and Joe got out to an early lead before stranding Ben with the second puzzle pieces and allowing Chrissy, Ryan, Mike and Lauren to catch-up. Sadly, that wasn’t enough as Ashley, Ben, Devon and Joe’s brute strength returned their lead while releasing the puzzle pieces, giving them victory before Mike and Chrissy could claw back.

At the reward, Joe was feeling better about his place in the game after surviving the last tribal and getting a shower. Devon’s stocks continued to rise, grateful for a shower … and Ben’s skillful portrayal as a blindsidee scorned. While the boys showered – in separate showers, sadly – Devon and Ashley gloated about the move, with the latter also realising that Ben will need to be legit blindsided soon.

Back at camp Ryan was feeling nervous, pulling Mike aside to try and find some common ground to form an alliance. Poor Mike was feeling super confidence in his new alliance of five – which is made up of three aligned people with two patsies – so quickly shut him down. Sadly Chrissy was having as much luck trying to win Lauren over by starting to discuss strategy on day 28. Chrissy’s mood continued to plummet as the rain rolled in the next day, taking some time alone in the shelter to wallow by herself. Thankfully Mike was on hand with some rice and comfort to perk her up.

Jiffy Pop returned for what looks to be a huge immunity challenge, where they were required to wheel a key through an obstacle course, unlock some puzzle pieces and, wait, build said puzzle. So yeah, not actually that huge. Ben, Devon and Joe got out to an early lead with Chrissy and Ashley close behind. Aka, Mike, Ryan and Lauren are total non-events. Devon was first across with all the puzzle pieces, followed closely by Ashley and Ben. thankfully for everyone else, the puzzle proved extremely difficult allowing Chrissy to catch up and snag immunity, despite everyone trying to cheat off her answers.

The tribe quickly commenced scrambling with the secret final four alliance of Ashley, Ben, Devon and Lauren sneaking away to lock in a vote against Joe. Ben then exited, allowing the three to tell Mike and Joe that the five of them will be splitting the votes between Ben and Ryan. With them busy, Ben joined Chrissy and Ryan to discuss who they should target, tossing up between Devon and Ashley, while Ben encouraged Ryan to save himself by playing his idol. To add a little confusion to the mix, Lauren and Ashley hooked up to discuss the issue of getting rid of Ben. While they agreed he will need to go eventually, they aren’t quite sure if it is the right time. Ashley then took the plan to Devon, who wasn’t convinced that it was a good idea just yet.

At tribal council Cole and JP continued to wear clothes, while Mike seemed pretty happy with himself, as too was Chrissy which makes more sense given she has immunity. Joe started to gloat about successfully taking advantage of the people at the bottom of Ben’s broken alliance, which to reiterate, nobody knows isn’t broken given he continues to get a Meryl-worthy performance. Mike joined in the gloating act, highlighting that neither he nor Joe are very self-aware. Vague talked turned to trusting your alliance and the ebbs and flows of the game before Joe announced that he was the safest he has felt even without an idol, thanks to his alliance. Sadly for him, that trust was misplaced as Ryan needlessly played his idol on himself, allowing the votes to roll in for Ashley before sending Joe out of the game.

What I didn’t mention when filling you in on JP, is that our relationship broke down after he discovered I was the firebug destroying his town all to assemble a life-calendar in my boudoir. I was arrested and since I’m a celeb, quickly put on parole … which is where I met and befriended Joe. While I gave him a decent amount of shit for the way he played the game, Joe is an absolute sweetheart out of the game and I wholeheartedly credit him for turning my life around. And for that, he’ll get aw many vats of my Joe Manngo Chutney whenever he is down.

 

 

The strong kick of chilli mixed with the hint of curry work perfectly with the sweetness of my juicy, juicy mangoes, leaving you with a condiment you want to drink by the jugful. Which Joe coincidentally does.

Enjoy!

 

 

Joe Manngo Chutney
Serves: 500ml-1L.

Ingredients
2kg mangoes, peeled, seeded and roughly chopped
sea salt
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped
2 onions, diced
2 cloves of garlic
1 fresh red chilli
1 cup apple cider vinegar
2 cups muscovado sugar
1 tbsp minced ginger
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp mixed spice
1 tsp ground clove
¼ cup sultanas

Method
Put the mangoes in a bowl and sprinkle with salt. Cover and leave overnight to rest. In the morning, drain off the juice and rinse the fruit thoroughly.

Combine the apple, garlic, chilli, vinegar, sugar, ginger, cumin, coriander, mixed spice, cloves and sultanas in a large saucepan over a low heat, and cook until the sugar just dissolves.

Add the mangoes, bring to the boil and add simmer for an hour, or until the chutney is thick and syrupy.

Spoon into sterilised jars and seal … or devour immediately with cold meat and sharp cheeses. Or use it in the Jacken Thomas & Avocado Pizza.

 

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Amyrican Adams Pasta Salad

Pasta, Salad, Side, Snack, Vegetarian

It is hard to remember a time when Amy Adams wasn’t a critically acclaimed darling with five Academy Award nominations under her belt. But there was, and that time was ‘98 … a year before her screen debut in Drop Dead Gorgeous.

While Leslie Miller wasn’t an Oscar bait role, Ames’ performance was pitch perfect and I knew from the start that she was destined for greatness. As is often the case when I get that feeling, I immediately hitched my wagon to her and vowed to make her a big big fucking star.

Thankfully Amy never held my advice that Cruel Intentions 2 was a good idea against me, and listened to me when I suggested she co-star with my dear friend Ben in Junebug. You may have heard of it? It is the one that put her on the map, snagged her first Oscar nom … and first Oscar robbery at the hands of Rachel Weisz.

Everybody knows that Michelle Williams and Ames’ should have tied for Supporting Actress that year, but I’ve digressed.

Ames’ is super busy filming Sharp Objects and doing reshoots on Justice League, so I was so touched that she wanted to make the time to catch up and celebrate the movie that launched her career … and her words, our best friendship. Isn’t she a doll?!

Given cook-outs are the best thing about Fourth of July for non-Americans, I decided to continue you rolling with the rapidly revealing theme and whip up another (not so healthy) salad, this time in the form of my Amyrican Adams Pasta Salad.

 

 

Like Kirstie before her, I prefer my salads to be as un-salad-like as possible. Don’t be fooled by the capsicum, tomato and carrot, this pasta salad isn’t very healthy … but damn is it delicious!

Enjoy!

 

 

Amyrican Adams Pasta Salad
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
500g macaroni, cooked, rinsed, and drained
3 stalks celery, sliced
2 shallots, thinly sliced
1 red capsicum, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
1 carrot, grated
½ cup mayonnaise
1 tsp mustard powder
1 tsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
⅓ cup sour cream
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Combined everything in a bowl.

Stir.

Devour.

 

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Ben Whishawbi Peas

Party Food, Side, Snack

Let’s start with the best news – despite my mad science skillz, I did not accidentally engineer a way for two men to procreate meaning that Benny Whish wasn’t dropping by to spring a decade’s worth of child support payments on me.

The bad news is that he isn’t still curled up in a ball pining over me … which is just odd and kind of rude, TBH.

I first met the other Ben while he was starring in Hamlet in 2004. I played the roles of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and let’s just say I spied action on and off the stage. Oh the action off stage …

Our torrid dressing room affair quickly blossomed into love and I vowed to make him a star, and us a power couple … fulfilling my fantasy to date someone that looked similar and shared my name given it didn’t work out so well with Batfleck.

After I purchased the rights to Perfume to try and snag my first Oscar, he brutally stole the role out from under me. We went through an extremely messy break-up that even the divine Cate Blanchett could not fix, despite her best attempts on the set of I’m Not There.

I’ve utilised the following decade to tear him down at any opportunity, so was super surprised to hear that he wanted to reconnect. Needless to say, I was extremely wary when he arrived … but shock of all shocks, he wanted to apologise for the Perfume slight.

While it doesn’t bring me back the Oscar I was robbed of, the fact that he could admit that I would have done better with the part is enough for me to forgive him. Plus – it is pride month and since we’re both married gay men, I was softened by the idea to double date. I’m a sucker for the community.


He on the other hand is a sucker for my Ben Whishawbi Peas.

 

 

While this used to be our go to post-coital snack, there was something oddly pleasant about sitting down with a beer and the spicy snacks, to work through our issues and celebrate actual happy relationships as adults.

Seriously, being this mature makes me sick … but these babies don’t – enjoy!

 

 

Ben Whishawbi Peas
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 cups frozen peas, defrosted and drained
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
1/2 tsp onion salt
1 clove of garlic, minced
¼ cup wasabi
1 tbsp tahini
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tsp Dijon mustard

Method
Preheat oven to 100°C.

Place the peas on a lined baking sheet with the olive oil, toss to coat and bake for about three hours, or until they are well dried.

While they are baking, combine everything in a jug.

Remove the peas from the oven and transfer to a bowl and toss through the wasabi coating. Return to the baking tray and bake for a further 15 minutes, or until dry and crisp.

Devour.

 

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Debbean Wanner Salad

Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, the tribes merged and Zeke decided it was the perfect time to turn on his two closest allies Andrea and Cirie. Thankfully for the latter two however, Debbie decided it was the perfect time for the tribe to boot Ozzy, leading the charge to send him to the jury.

Back at camp Debbie basked in the afterglow of tribal, confident that her majority were locked in and would not budge. On the other end of the spectrum, Andrea was feeling uneasy about being left out of the loop and lashed out at Zeke for targeting her. This made Zeke feel unease and trapped with the majority, until Sarah pulled him aside and vowed to work together to sway the game.

Uttering lines being drawn for the 700th time in the episode, Sarah pointed out that the tide always comes up and washes them away. I wonder if she knew that Debs did hers in concrete, making it impenetrable?!

Not wanting to be left out of the fun my boy Jeff arrived to preside over a cheeky team reward challenge for a luxury picnic on the beach – which is an oxymoron, I know. Given that there are an uneven number of castaways, someone was left out and thankfully for our viewing pleasure … it was Michaela, who cussed out her competitors and provided sassy commentary while missing the secret advantage hidden until the sit-out bench.

Oh … and the challenge? The teams had to complete an obstacle course over the water which for the first time ever made me wish this were Australian Survivor because there was blurring aplenty as people lost their clothes over the obstacles.

Brad got his team out to a very early lead against Tai – which was no-doubt cemented by Debbie’s expert crawl across the balance beam – which never really went away. To add insult to injury, poor Cirie struggled to make it to the second platform until Sarah joined her to help her finish the course.

After Brad’s team secured victory, Troyzan returned to the game and joined Sarah, Tai and Zeke to help her finish the course. Which she did and then broke down in tears.

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.

To make my face leaks worse, she then spoke about how she pushed herself to prove to her sons that you should never give up. I’m probs paraphrasing here but the tears distracted my vision.

While Brad, Aubry, Andrea, Debbie and Sierra left to enjoy their reward, Jeff summoned a boat to collect the losers when Sarah spotted the secret advantage that Michaela had been sitting on for the last hour, quickly snatching it for herself and cementing this episode as the Sarah show.

Back at camp the losers continued to win me over by holding a Cirie love fest with Sarah talking about how proud of her she was and Tai telling her that her kids would be proud of her achievements. Softening me and the cunning strategist that is Cirie Fields.

Getting us back into the game, Sarah removed herself from the rest of the tribe to discover her secret advantage was the cursed vote stealer – last used by Stephen Fishbach to boot himself from the game – which she vowed to use correctly.

Meanwhile Civil Air Patrol Captain Debbie Wanner and the rest of the victors enjoyed their flight to the luxury beach picnic which truly did look quite amazing. After Brad gloated about his move to split from his alliance of Sarah and Troyzan in the challenge to ensure they’d be able to keep abreast of what was happening in each location.

Andrea then vocalised her pain about Zeke turning on her for no reason, before Sierra ominously claimed that the game was locked down and she was in control.

Back at camp, Cirie got to work winning Sarah back over to her side as she appealed to her need to change how she played the game and make moves to earn her the win. While Sarah wasn’t convinced it is the right time to make a move, she definitely was ready for it … which doesn’t bode well for confident ol’ Sierra.

Sensing I was struggling with the lack of eye-candy left in the game Jeff returned for a(nother) classic immunity challenge where everyone has to spell immunity with blocks, balanced on a teetering table. Jeff got to work giving Tai sass for not being able to spell immunity – despite English being his second language – which as dear Joe del Campo can attest, is difficult on no food.

Andrea got out to an early lead before dropping her tower, allowing Troyzan to overtake her and take out his first immunity win of the season as blocks of letters rained down at the other end of the course. Sadly though Fiji does not appear to be his island.

With her ally winning immunity Sierra was feeling extremely confident and quickly threw the target on Andrea, which her alliance was all on board with … despite Michaela’s sass potentially moving the target to her back. Despite Debbie trying to get rid of Michaela, Brad – her nemesis from two episodes ago – was able to convince her that Andrea was the biggest threat at the moment.

Given that she was left out of all the discussion with her own alliance, Sarah started to feel nervous and decided that it was potentially time for her to make a move. She approached Zeke and decided they need to work with Andrea to flip the numbers and take out one of the alliance. Sierra then pulled Sarah aside to run the numbers and propose a final three with them and Debbie, making her feel like maybe she shouldn’t make a move.

Debbie continued to be a dominant strategic force and told Aubry to vote Michaela as a secret cover for their Andrea boot. Aubry didn’t love that and took the information straight back to Andrea, Michaela and Sarah and vowed that this is what happened before she booted Debbie the last time and she was too difficult to trust. This obviously made Sarah’s predicament even more confusing.

Wanting to put us out of our misery, they arrived at tribal and  – after a brief reflection on Cirie’s challenge experience – got to work going back and forth between how the numbers would go down. Debbie spoke about how strong the six were while Troy drew eyerolls talking about how people should be grateful to make it to six.

Zeke then argued that the deck of cards reshuffle after every vote, to which Sarah agreed … somehow upsetting Michaela who would benefit from said reshuffle. Which she did, with the votes rolling in between Andrea and Debbie – as she pulled out another prop and starting snacking on popcorn like the sass queen she is – with Sarah flipping on her alliance to send Debbie out of the game as the third member of the jury … again.

Illuminati confirmed?

As you know, Debs is a dear dear friend of mine and we’ve been lucky to be co-workers at 398 of our previous jobs ranging from when we were street mime in Paris, dance teachers in Stars Hollow, ran as part of Ned Kelly’s gang, were tour guides in Bonny Doon, ran a Japanese cat cafe, were nude models/#girlbosses in San Francisco and invented post-its. Needless to say, girl and I are close as fuck.

While Debs was disappointed to be vanquished by Aubry and her over-confidence for a second time, she was thrilled to be reunited with her favourite recurring co-worker in Ponderosa. Though she may have been thrilled to see the Debbean Wanner Salad.

 

 

Earthy, spicy and a little bit fresh … I honestly don’t think there is a meal that could better represent the wild and exciting nature of my dear friend.

Enjoy!

 

 

Debbean Wanner Salad
Serves: 4 as a main, 6-8 as a side.

Ingredients
400g can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
400g can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
400g can black beans, rinsed and drained
2 cups frozen corn kernels, cooked and left to drain
½ red onion, finely diced
2 celery stalks, thinly sliced
½ red capsicum, finely diced
handful of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
⅓ cup apple cider vinegar
¼ cup muscovado sugar
½ tsp ground chilli
¼ tsp ground cumin
olive oil
salt and pepper

Method
Combine the beans, corn, onion, celery, capsicum and parsley in a large bowl and toss to combine.

In a large jug, combine the apple cider vinegar, sugar, chilli and cumin with a good lug of olive oil and a good whack of salt and pepper. Add to the bowl and toss to combine.

Transfer the salad to the fridge and allow it to rest and absorb the flavours for a couple of hours … then serve and devour.

 

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