Arepomare Fifth

Bread, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 2, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race Down Under the dolls starred in our first acting challenge and while it paid homage to Prisoner, I still wish they went with Homo & A-gay or Gaybours. But when life gives you lemons, it is generally a Drag Race acting challenge or something. Which coincidentally was the plot, as Bev was given the death penalty for writing the franchise’s past acting challenges. While Aubrey and Kween struggled, Spankie was demented and gorgeous, while Minnie and Hannah gave the best criminal duo since Home Alone. Alas, there could only be one winner as Spankie took out her first victory of the season, before Kween destroyed the lip sync and poor Aubrey sashayed away.

Backstage Kween was still feeling disappointed in herself, feeling broken and picking the performance apart. On top of that, she felt bad for poor Aubrey. Thankfully everyone rallied around and gave her a glorious pep talk and she was soon feeling far better. She then congratulated Spankie on her first victory, while Spankie in turn praised Minnie and Hannah for doing so well in the challenge. Hannah then lamented the fact that she has been a bridesmaid in the first two episodes and best believe she was ready to step into the spotlight and take out a victory. Otherwise, why did they invite her to this wedding?

Oh and Minnie offered to suck off and then bottom for Kween – um, get in line lady – and Hannah suggested finding Ru’s trailer and sucking her off for a win. So yeah, maybe this is why Ru called us all ratchet?

The next day Yuri was feeling good, particularly since her outfit saved her last week and this week, she vowed to get out of her head and get back into the top. Ru dropped by before Yuri could top, though thankfully brought the Pit Crew with him and well, my basement was flooded. There was something about a tool stuffed in their pants and the queens had to pick who was packing what. As is oft the case, we all won as the menseses dropped trou over and over. But apparently, in whatever way Ru was keeping score, Molly Poppinz took out the actual victory.

And as the victor, she was able to pair up the queens for this week’s Maxi Challenge, where they would be hosting a 5-minute drag brunch set. She obviously paired up with Hannah, before getting Minnie and Kween together and putting Bev with Pomara, leaving Spankie and Yuri as the final duo. And while Spankie felt like Molly was trying to do a little bit of sabo(tage), I have a feeling in my waters that Spankie and Yuri will shine.

After Ru departed, the pairs split up to workshop their sets with Molly wanting to be natural rather than scripting anything and well, is this a good idea? Spankie then asked Molly if she was trying to be strategic with her pairings, admitting that yes she did, wanting to put a strong queen with a weaker girl. Before basically admitting she was just trying to bring Spankie down. Speaking of Spankie, she was pissed by the decision while Yuri was feeling ready to bring herself up to Spankie’s level and yes Yuri, I love you. Beverly and Pomara meanwhile learnt they are polar opposites with their performance styles, with Bev wanting to script everything and Pomara focused on being off the cuff. Minnie and Kween meanwhile were leaning into the fact they have completely different backgrounds, focusing on racism and privilege.

Oh and they told Hannah about it so Hannah could address her Scarlett Adams-esque background with cultural appropriation and the hurt that it did, has and will cause. And fuck, Kween is so mature and wise, giving Hannah space to apologise and address the scandal while firmly explaining why it is such a problem and how addressing it in a non-performative way proves she is willing to grow.

Spankie and Yuri were first to workshop with Rhys and Chris Parker – who is wearing a super cute shirt – and were very fun with their scripted roast of the queens. Rhys encouraged them to make it a little more Drag Race, while Chris wanted them to take advantage of the fact they are a Kiwi only duo. Molly and Hannah started out with a dry script about Hobbiton, before the mentors told them to make things personal. Where we then learnt Hannah wanted to be a priest, which is a story we all need to hear. Minnie’s energy meanwhile took all the rehearsal space, with Kween encouraged to come up a little while Minnie was told to tone it down a little. While Bev and Pomara just couldn’t figure out where the script was going and who was saying what, while Rhys and Chris reminded them to lift each other up.

Elimination Day rolled around with Yuri MIA with an eye infection, though ugh, Pomara suggested they could all help paint her face when she comes back and maybe they listened when Ru said, everyone say love.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by the iconic Urzila Carlson on the judges panel as Beverly and Pomara opened the show looking absolutely stunning and going well, until Yuri’s absence appeared to really throw them off because things then became stilted. Backstage, Yuri returned with half vision and a cream and quickly beat her mug while Molly and Hannah took the stage and were so energetic, fun and personable and well, I love it. I mean, “the only balloon I can blow up is when I’m farting in my foreskin in my meaty tuck” is a line that came out of Molly’s mouth. What could you not love? Kween meanwhile was charming and sparkled while Minnie dropped in and brought all the energy, which proved to be a formidable combination as they slayed. Yuri then gagged the dolls as she made her triumphant return with Spankie to close out the show. And I don’t know if she got drugged up at A&E, but Yuri was hilarious and so much fun despite Spankie giving an absolute hosting masterclass.

I mean, they nailed it.

On the Red for Filth runway, Beverly was a stunning goth ready for the boudoir, complete with a chandelier headpiece. Pomara served red earth glamour and looked so damn stunning, Hannah Conda gave Carmen Sandieg-ho does Dallas, Molly was a blooming rose bud with a perfect mug. Kween gave sexy volcano realness while Minnie wore a stunning red dress that just could not stay up and then Spankie looked perfect in a poppy gown in honour of the Anzacs, while Yrui was iconic as a bloody red devil and fuck I love her. But also, is she high?

Ultimately Spankie and Yuri took out victory and sent to untuck before Beverly was praised for giving a stunning runway though read for not really vibing with Pomara while they were on stage. Pomara too received universal praise for her look, but yeah, that vibe wasn’t great. Hannah and Molly were praised for such killer energy and how they bounced off each other, despite not having much of a script. Though their looks were both praised, despite Ru deeming Molly’s trashy. Kween meanwhile received wall-to-wall praise and thanked for bringing the energy she had in lip sync to the challenge and stamping her place in the contest, while Minnie was praised for her energy and despite the dress not fitting, they loved the dedication to the sisters she lost to HIV/AIDS.

Backstage Spankie and Yuri were overjoyed to take out victory, particularly after everything Yuri had to go through this week. And Molly’s sabo attempts. The rest of the girls arrived and congratulated them on their victory, while Pomara and Beverly both started to sob given they were clearly in the bottom. While their sisters tried to rally around them, Bev brokedown over her fears and how she was  terrified of failing herself and the greater Brisbane area. Which thankful doesn’t include Logan for the record, but I digress. Kween then gave her and Pomara an epic peptalk and well, I’ve loved Kween because she is so damn hot, but damn, she has such a beautiful soul too. Begging the question, did Jesse McCartney write it about her? Because he should have.

Ru didn’t beat around the bush this week, telling Bev and Pomara they were in the bottom before sweeping the rest of the girls off stage. Despite the fear and emotion they were showing backstage, they both went off as Years & Years feat. Kylie’s Starstruck kicked off. Both of the dolls hit every damn lyric and gave all the energy but when Bev started splitting and slipping and nearly sliding off stage, it was over. Until Pomara hilariously switched into mocking her opponent. I mean, if ever there was a time for a double shantay, it was this. But alas, they didn’t even have enough time to edit Ru’s stumble on the runway out, so tragically, we had to say goodbye to the iconic Pomara. Who rightly summed up her feelings with a simple, bye cunts.

Backstage poor Pomara was still feeling disappointed in her performance, so I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her how charming and talented she is. I then went on a very long-winded rant how this was far and away the strongest challenge of the series, with everyone kinda doing well. Add into that the fact they both slayed the lip sync and well, if there ever was a time to go out, it was when you all did well. Which appeared to do the trick as we slipped back into being silly and joyful as we smashed a fresh batch of Arepomare Fifth.

These gorgeously flavorful South American pita-esque breads are the perfect accompaniment. Or even with a thick layer of butter on their own. Crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside, they are so damn good. And more importantly, v. easy to make.

Enjoy!

Arepomare Fifth
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
¼ tsp freshly ground pepper
2 ½ cups lukewarm water
2 cups white corn flour
¼ cup sunflower oil (or corn, if you can find it)

Method
Preheat the oven to 190°C.

Combine the sugar, salt, pepper and water in a jug of water until only the pepper is visible. Meanwhile, pop the corn flour in a large bowl. Slowly add the sweet and salty water into the bowl, stirring constantly, until it all comes together.

Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth. Pop on a lined plate, cover and leave to rest for about half an hour.

When you’re ready to cook, divide the dough into ¼ cup(ish) sized balls and flatten into 2cm discs. Heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and add a couple of arepas to the pan. Flatten with a spatula and cook for a couple of minutes before flipping and cooking for another few. Repeat the process until done.

Place them on a lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven to cook for a further 5-10 minutes, or until they sound hollow on the inside. Then devour, either with some eggs or leftover birria, not that either are traditional but they are great.


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Chicken Slidy Boom Boom

Burgers, Canada's Drag Race 3, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Party Food, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls thought they were all going to be designing runway looks based on differing boxes. However when they opened them to check out their haul, they learnt it was all a ruse and instead, they would be designing looks based on the exact same items. Somehow everyone managed to pull off different looks, with Giselle stunning in a glamorous gown, while Kaos repeated a similar look from the previous design challenge. And Jada just straight up looked a mess. As the dolls untucked, a massive blow-up occurred between Fiercalicious and pretty much everyone, leaving her hurt in a very foul mood. Giselle rightly took out her first victory, while Jada once again saved herself via the lip sync as she sent Kaos packing.

Backstage the mood was well and truly sombre, with everyone missing Koas while Jada was feeling down after having to lip sync again. Despite turning the party, obviously. While everyone congratulated her on her performance, Fiercalicious looked on sulking, leading to Bombae and Kimmy calling her out for being in her feelings. With Kimmy in particular not interested in apologising to her, instead asking her to do better. As everyone gave their two cents, Lady Boom Boom cut them off and told everyone to move on and put high school to bed. And instead, congratulated poor Giselle on her first win. With even her over the idea of being congratulated, given she was sitting in her corset for way too long.

The next day the mood was so much better, with Bombae ready to take out a win before Fiercalicious apologised to her sisters and vowed to be less reactive and open to their feelings. And challenge her energy on a win. And just like that, they were all friends again. Kimmy pointed out that there are four queens with a win, begging the question, when will the other dolls slay? Which led to Irma promising us that should they get a comedy challenge, this could be her moment. Like Snatch Game. Which is what Brooke confirmed was the upcoming challenge as soon as she dropped by. Well, after opening the bibliotheque for some reading.

Fiercalicious channelled her feelings into destroying her sisters and damn, I wasn’t expecting her to be that good at reading. Boom Boom was cute as she sweetly eviscerated the dolls, Irma was brutal and oh so good, Giselle was silly, Jada was sage and cruel, Vivian was kooky and fun, Bombae was amazing while Kimmy was aggressive and amazing. Though ultimately there could only be one winner, and that was the icon herself, Lady Boom Boom.

But more importantly, Snatch Game! As Brooke exited, the dolls split up to talk about their characters with Boom Boom going with iconic Montreal drag queen Mado. Which is what Giselle was planning to do, though given she had back-ups, she did a full Divina and gave her the outfit and opted for someone else. As Jada and Fierce caught up, we learnt that the latter and Kimmy both planned to do Ariana Grande and well, this could get messy. Wait, no, Fierce graciously took the high road without a battle. Though trust she will be pissed if it costs her the competition.

Brooke returned to check on her girls, with Bombae going with Aziz Ansari and well, yes, this could be super fun. Or a total mess. Either way, I want to see it. Jada was planning to go with Saucy, who I’ve never heard of, but they look like an icon, so work. Vivian is going into battle with Ginger Minj and Jessica Chastain by playing Tammy Faye, while Brooke was nervous about Kimmy’s take on Ariana Grande. Though once again, she was confident she would make it fun. Fiercalicious pivoted to Kourtney Kardashian and damn, please let her get into a kickdown fight on the panel. Brooke was excited to see what Lady Boom Boom would do with Mado, while Irma is finally bringing Marilyn to Snatch Game. Oh and Giselle is going to play Marie Curie or Celine Dion, and while Broke seemed into the second (despite her trauma), Marie would be iconic. So let’s hope she sticks to her guns.

Snatch Game kicked off with Bombae bringing the energy while Giselle was perfection from the very first moment, complete with a green glow from beneath the desk. Fierce had the Kardashian vibe down pat, Irma was hilarious, Vivian was the right level of manic and was so damn adorable. Jada’s Saucy was cute and fun, while Kimmy was an absolute mess. In the most entertaining way. While Boom Boom was there. There is no denying that this was Giselle’s challenge to lose though, as she dominated each and every moment – I mean, she lost teeth and hair, drew a new brow with her marker and was all around hilarious – while Irma and Vivian narrowly followed behind for supremacy. At the other end of the pack, Kimmy’s bomb was totally entertaining, while Boom Boom was kinda boring as Bombae just missed the mark.

Elimination Day arrived with Vivian feeling her oats, ready to breakthrough with a potential win. She opened up to Irma, sharing that she was embraced by a group of people at a Baptist Church growing up and that their warmth and kindness helped her become the person she is today. This led to a discussion about all of their journeys with religion, and while Vivian’s was good, Kimmy was sent to a conversion camp, as was Giselle, though somehow accidentally after a priest told her it was an artist camp. And as such, her mother pulled her out when she found out about the lie. Bombae on the flipside was taught about the queer god and goddesses of hindu culture and embraced by her family growing up, though admitted they didn’t know she does drag. With Boom Boom hilariously suggesting that might be for the best, given she hasn’t won a challenge.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by the returning Sarain Fox as the dolls stomped the Periodic Table of Elements runway. Fiercalicious was an iconic club kid dominatrix as Neon, Kimmy gave prehistoric A’Whora vibes for calcium before Vivian slayed arsenic as Joker before revealing a Batman love interest in arsenic-made green. Boom Boom was avant garde for bromide, complete with liquid pumping through the architectural look. Giselle was a gorgeous goddess snitch serving gold before Jada gave pop glamour in honour of sodium and Irma was a glamorous ‘50s housewife in a yellow gown for uranium. And then Bombae stole the show as the sexiest living balloon for helium.

Jada and Fiercalicious were both sent to untuck before the judges read Kimmy for filth, despite looking like Ariana in Snatch Game. On the flipside, they lived for her runway. Vivian received wall-to-wall praise for both Snatch Game and her glamorous runway. Sweet Boom Boom was praised for giving perfect Mado in appearance, though read for giving absolutely nothing more. Though they loved her runway. They lived for everything Giselle did this week, from the demented character study, to making them laugh and looking perfect on the runway. They also adored everything Irma did in the Snatch Game and the light and shade she brought to her performance. Oh and they loved her look. Poor Bombae, meanwhile, was praised for starting strong, though read for completely losing momentum. But thankfully, they loved the runway.

Backstage Kimmy was disappointed to be in the bottom, though knew she deserved it and as such, was just ready to bring it in the lip sync. She opened up about not singing in the challenge due to it triggering her gender dysphoria, though didn’t want to bring it up and sound like she was making excuses. Which is super heartbreaking. Boom Boom too was ready to lip sync, while Bombae was disappointed to miss the mark. But was fired up to perform should she have to.

Ultimately Irma Gerd and Vivian were sent to safety as Giselle took out her second win in a row. At the other end of the pack, Bombae runway narrowly saved her as Kimmy and Boom Boom faced off to Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepson. And damn was it good! Both girls hit every lyric and looked so beautiful, while Kimmy stripped off and started kicking and flipping around the stage, poor Boom Boom was kinda held back by her restrictive outfit. Which is honestly the only thing that could split them, saving Kimmy and sending sweet Lady Boom Boom out of the competition.

While she was disappointed backstage, I reminded her that she followed in the tradition of her fellow non-English speaking sisters in stumbling on Snatch Game which is hardly something to be embarrassed about. I mean, ask France host Nicky Doll, it is painfully hard to be funny in another language, and as such, she was always at a disadvantage this week. Which was enough of a pep talk to cheer up the former front runner, giving us plenty of time to lol about while smashing some Chicken Slidy Boom Booms in honour of her slayage.

You know the deal, I love burgers. But sliders have an even bigger place in my heart, given they are baby versions, meaning you can eat twice as much without any guilt. Creamy slaw, chicken so crisp you could cut a tooth and the tang of pickle also doesn’t hurt making these so damn moreish.

Enjoy!

Chicken Slidy Boom Boom
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups red cabbage, shredded
4 shallots, sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 celery stalk, finely sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 ½ tsp apple cider vinegar
2 tsp maple syrup
salt and pepper, to taste
4 boneless pieces of Farrahed Moan Chicken, cut in half
8 slider rolls
4-6 pickles, sliced
4 slices American Cheese, cut in half

Method
Combine the cabbage, shallots, carrot, celery, mayo, apple cider vinegar and maple syrup in a bowl until everything is well coated. Adjust the mayo and seasoning, depending on taste.

After you’ve prepared the chicken as per Farrah’s instructions, split the sliders and pop a spoon of the slaw on the bottom, followed by the pickle, the chicken and then some cheese. Then close and repeat until they’re all done, before smashing, happily.


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Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz

Main, Poultry, Snack, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the OG Masus continued to fight it out for power, unaware that the Yontau boys appeared to be quietly playing them off against each other. After an epic reward and immunity challenge which left Dino cursed from winning the game while taking out a car, the gloves came off as Meryl, Steffi and Marian’s alliance splintered. While the latter two had rallied the troops to get rid of Meryl, she had managed to charm enough people – or scare them due to her copious amount of advantages – as the tribe narrowly blindsided Steffi from the game.

Back at camp the mood was very tense as Marian well and truly felt left out and stupid for not taking the idol when she had the chance at the Outpost. Meryl meanwhile was busy trading off the advantage to Tejan as promised, with him thrilled to split the alliance up. As he anticipated, Marian was cussing out Phil for blindsiding her before going person to person to throw Meryl under the bus by outing all of her advantages. And while it was hardly news to Felix, it definitely was to Dino as he questioned whether he should have taken the other shot at the last tribal council.

The next day Meryl was feeling a little nervous after breaking up with her original alliance and joining with the people willing to save her. Marian caught up with Dino to find out what the vote was about and whether he would be willing to work with her, rather than Meryl. With Dino admitting that Meryl’s advantages really change things, and to us, now that Marian is isolated, he felt that they have far more to offer each other moving forward. Dino then showed her the advantage and offered to hand it over to her to build trust, before him sharing that he would be so proud to see her win the season and to be the ambassador of the game, rather than a goat floating along and sneaking out a win despite not doing anything.

Tejan and Meryl meanwhile were busy bonding over being the biggest threats, agreeing that now they only really have each other. Tejan asked how she felt about Dino, Phil and Felix, with her grateful to have been saved though that she was wary given they have been aligned from the start. We then dropped by the trio, who were catching up about the state of affairs within the tribe and to quickly prove that Meryl’s trust was misplaced as they immediately locked in a plan to get rid of her next. Knowing that everyone will be willing to join them. As such, Phil and Felix would stick to her like glue while Dino would keep things casual while rallying everyone else on the plan.

Back at the shelter Shane and Marian were catching up, with the latter trying to convince him that Dino can be trusted to get them further. While Shane was still focused on getting him out ASAP, given he is the only other truly strategic player outside of Marian. Though given he is kinda volatile, Marian girl, you’re in danger. Meryl and Phil dropped by camp, where Marian continued to give her the silent treatment which started to make Meryl upset given it is clear that their friendship is over. She approached Marian and asked what was going on and why she hadn’t looked her in the eye, which Marian denied while noticing that Meryl’s facade is starting to crack and that other people have also noticed.

Killarney was busy whispering to Dino saying that she was disappointed by the Steffi blindside, but was ready to make a move on Meryl. Which obviously puzzled him, given she is a good 18 hours late. Killarney then dropped by Tejan and Shane to tell them the plan is to get rid of Meryl and trust and believe, she is the one driving it. While Shane worried who the hell he is aligned with.

The next day Marian was still nervous about the state of all the shattered alliances. Particularly since her one consistent ally, Shane, is still focused on getting rid of Dino before Meryl. Marian tried to calmly explain that Meryl is feeling comfortable right now and as such, now is the time to blindside her, while Shane was just worried about her potential naivety in trusting Dino’s lies.

We finally got a sighting of sweet, zaddy Nico as the tribe reassembled for the latest immunity challenge where everyone would start behind a locked gate and manoeuvre a key through a peg puzzle before unlocking said gate and completing a block puzzle. Dino made quick work releasing his key and started work on his block puzzle in an instant. Felix and Phil soon joined him before Meryl and Shane broke through the gate and started on the second puzzle. After releasing her key, Marian casually sauntered through the gate before casually solving the block puzzle in no time at all and won individual immunity. While Killarney remained locked behind her gate and everyone was dumbfounded how she did it some quickly.

Back at camp Marian was giddy with her newfound safety, though was nervous about the prospect of Meryl playing her tribal council pass and ruining the blindside. Though she admitted that getting rid of Tejan wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Tejan meanwhile knew that he was also on the block, catching up with Felix to assure him that there are far bigger threats to worry about than him. Meryl meanwhile was floating playing the tribal council pass to Phil, who casually reminded her that they need her as a number which lead to her suggesting they send Marian back to camp without her vote instead. She quickly caught up with Phil, Dino and Tejan to talk about the genius plan, while Dino felt very awkward about being so active against her.

Killarney meanwhile was sauntering about, worried about all the whispering, while Tejan was loving being part of the plan. Sadly for him, it wasn’t the actual plan, which made Dino worry about whether they should let him be involved. Despite the fact he is a big risk of screwing up whatever the plan is. After Meryl filled Felix in on the plan, he caught up with Phil and Dino, with all of them feeling a little bit awkward about how easily things have come together for them given it makes them think something is wrong. Oh and then Phil told Marian about the tribal council pass plan and she was so excited to see it all come together, while Meryl started contemplating playing her 50/50 coin to exhaust all her little trinkets. And presumably lessen her target.

At tribal council Tejan was feeling confident in his place in the game given Marian and Meryl are now feuding. Meryl admitted that she has been a target for some time now, while Marian was sick of her pretending to be the victim when she could have just spoken to her allies if she was concerned. Marian spoke about how happy she was to save herself by winning immunity, particularly given the duo have so much tension between them now. She continued to play up being left out and having no strategic conversations today, while Meryl admitted she didn’t really talk to anyone either.

Talk turned to blending in, with Killarney hoping to slink through rather than stick out, while Dino spoke about them needing to outlast more than anything else in the motto. Though he would also like to see someone worthy take out the title this season. Meryl spoke about playing like a goat being a proven strategy, though that there is so much time left in the game that those who are deemed a goat now, could quickly make a name for themselves. Killarney brought up the fact that everyone values different things, while Meryl opened up about thinking about the jury while Marian said you should be mindful, rather than worried.

Before they headed off to vote, Meryl stood up and played the tribal council pass to send Marian back to camp. Sadly for Meryl, Marian then bequeathed individual immunity to Shane on her way out the door which is not something anyone considered. With that the tribe finally voted and despite her initial nerves before tribal council, Meryl stood firm and held on to her 50/50 coin, which sadly became a memento, as the tribe banded together to blindside her from the game.

Thankfully she took the exit on her chin, thrilled by the excitement of it all and kinda knowing her days were numbered anyway given she was far and away the biggest threat in the game. That being said, I didn’t take it with as much grace, screaming and crying that my dream final three had broken up, with two of them exiting the game back-to-back. After sweet Meryl pulled me in for a hug, she reminded me it is just a game and she holds no ill will. Which was enough to eventually dry my eyes and whip her up a victorious batch of Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz.

There is nothing better than a fresh rice paper roll. While it works essentially with any and all ingredients you want, these little Peking duck numbers are some of my faves. Sweet, spicy and packing a herbaceous punch, they are the perfect way to eliminate post-boot pain.

Enjoy!

Rice Paper Meroll Szolkeiwicz
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
12 rice paper rounds
80g vermicelli, soaked, drained and roughly chopped
¼ iceberg lettuce, finely shredded
¾ cup coriander, roughly chopped
¾ cup mint leaves
1 lebanese cucumber, sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 red capsicum, sliced
¾ bunch chives, sliced
2 peking duck breasts, sliced

Method
Start by prepping everything you need first as you’ll need to power on once you get started. Working one at a time, dip a rice paper round in a shallow bowl of warm water until soft before transferring to a dry, clean tea towel.

Place a small amount of vermicelli in the centre, followed by lettuce, coriander, mint, cucumber, carrot, capsicum and chives, before layering a few slices of duck. Roll one edge over, fold in both of the ends and continue to roll until it is sealed. Repeat until done.

Then devour, slathered in sriracha, hoisin or soy.


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La Briochéesecake Ice Cream

Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls were tasked with starring in a parody of Call My Agent. While France trended closely to Espana – aka showing the entire, lengthy scene – every time Paloma was on screen, she lit it up and stole the show. Which is saying something, given Briochée gave an iconic turn as Marion Cotillard possessed by Edith Piaf. Everyone turned delicate, beautiful looks on the Dites-le avec des fleurs runway which meant that Soa and Lova’s slightly muted acting performances landed them in the bottom, with Soa demolishing the lip sync and sending sweet Lova home.

Backstage the dolls toasted to how kind and lovely Lova was, with Lolita particularly going to miss her. On the flipside, Kam was just glad to see another girl home and was ready to power through the competition. Soa meanwhile was feeling her oats after slaying the lip sync, ready to send other girls home but also not loving the vibe of being in the bottom. Bertha meanwhile was just in her feels to have lost her fellow big girl. The next day the dolls were energised and ready to turn it as the speculated what challenge they’re likely to be up against, with the dolls agreeing they either want to dance or sew. 

Obviously that manifested Nicky, who arrived to put them through their paces in a Mini Challenge where they would have to film a video about making a baguette in teams of two. And while I feel like Nicky was trying to come for my gig, I am willing to look the other way. Because the other way saw the return of the zaddy pit crew and they seem to flood my basement more than any pit crew that has come before them. Soa and Bertha were up first and appeared to be having a ball, making a total mess and being so stupid. Lolita and La Grande Dame saw their stupidity and raised it as Lolita ended up with flour all over her face as Grande Dame’s arms flailed about. La Briochée gave an acting masterclass as Elips created as much chaos as possible before Paloma and Kam literally added tits to their dough. Though obviously victory went to Elips and Briochée.

Nicky then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be throwing a little French Ball, with them first stomping the runway in a Ma France à moi look while the second look would need to be about French Clichés. And well, Elips and Briochée were both feeling confident. Even after Nicky announced they would also be modelling a third dress which they would have to make in a day, ready for the red carpet of the Festival de Cannes. And they would be made out of a minimum of three beach toys. Which obviously filled everyone with dread. Even Elips and Briochée who won a headstart in the ransack for taking out the Mini Challenge, which proved quite a prize since everything soon disappeared once the other dolls got involved.

Everyone split up to go through their haul with Bertha looking to give a Gaultier and Galiano hybrid. Briochée had a detailed plan for an asymmetrical dress. And for everything she couldn’t do, she would go get advice from Elips. Kam and Grande Dame meanwhile were busy kiki-ing about their hometowns, with Kam admitting it was difficult growing up in a small town, while Grande Dame had to leave Nice after experiencing a hate crime. A crime so violent she doesn’t even remember what happened. Which was a story that broke Lolita, Bertha and Soa’s hearts who were all ready to defend her till the ends of the earth.

Nicky dropped by to check on the girls’ progress with the one and only Kiddy Smile to give them advice on stomping the runway. They lived for Bertha though wanted her to not fear being serious, Kam was reminded to walk tall, Elips was perfect, Paloma kinda gave Ramona in RHONY, Briochée was read for looking down, Lolita stripped so was great in my eyes, Soa was perfection from the walk to the attitude, as was Grande Dame. And well, the dolls are ready for their ball.

Nicky then dropped the bomb that Véronique Philipponnat and Chantal Thomass would be joining them on the judges panel before she departed and well, the dolls were now far less ready and far more nervous.

As Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy took the stage with the duo of icons, Paloma kicked off the Sweet France of Mine runway, looking like a caged, camp delight in honour of cheese. Lolita was a netted, locked delight in honour of Paris, Grande Dame gave all the drama in a massive haute couture black widow gown, while Elips went from black widow to glamour pride and it was gorgeous before Briochée served glamour in a blue and pearl gown. Soa was perfection in a tartan and white delight in honour of her mother, Kam sold suited sexy pigeon and well, it was amazing before Bertha closed the category with a glamorous blue jean gown before she straight up flooded herself, the stage and my basement.

When it came to French Cliches, Paloma was stunning as a white suited artiste, Lolita gave the sexiest chartreuse protester known to man, Grande Dame was a white ruffled delight, like if Jerry’s shirt was glamour, before Elips served red wine. Which obviously is a win in my eyes. Briochée gave gingham glam with baguette arms – aka Baguette Bardot – while Soa read all the basic white women of France and well, I live. Though maybe it is because her arse is hot? Kam served sexy maid and then revealed a bodysuit covered in croissants. Which again, is a win in my eyes. Oh and then Bertha gave an accordion gown and well, it was so damn cool. Complete with a light bulb up her arse.

When it came to the designed looks for the Cannes Festival, Paloma was pink perfection. Lolita gave a polished yellow and teal gown looking like The Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica. Grande Dame was stunning in bright blue with red rope detail – a description which doesn’t do it justice – while Elips was suited in lime and black. Briochée was kinda messy, giving more Marilyn impersonator rather than Cannes, while Soa looked more Studio 54 in gold lame. But again, her butt was out. Kam was stunning in a pink and orange stripe as sexy Nemo. While Bertha was stunning in navy, despite the gown being an absolute mess construction wise.

Paloma was praised for being so funny while serving three stunning looks. Lolita was praised for her bold design, they lived for Grande Dame’s commitment to being the fashion queen of the season while Elips was read for her designed look, given there was absolutely no tailoring. Which led to Briochée pointing out that she spent most of her time helping everyone else, which may have contributed. Before Briochée’s designed look was read for absolute filth for having a giant rip on the leg. Soa’s brought looks were praised, though she was read for not giving enough on the third. Kam meanwhile received universal praise for everything she did in each category. From the polish to the concepts, they lived for every damn moment. While Bertha similarly received praise for her bought looks, while her designed look was deemed an absolute mess.

Backstage everyone congratulated Kam on her obvious win, while she pointed out Paloma and Grande Dame were just as good. Soa, Briochée, Elips and Bertha weren’t sure which duo would be lip syncing, with all of them feeling like they had let themselves down and well, I hate to see it. Particularly Elips who looked broken, while her sisters reiterated how grateful they were for all that she did for them this week. 

Obviously it was Kam that took out her first victory of the season before Bertha and Elips were narrowly saved, leaving Sea and Briochée to lip sync for their lives. And once again, Soa was not going down without a fight and absolutely slayed from start to finish. As soon as Pookie by Aya Nakamura kicked off, she pulled all the focus and while Briochée was cute, charming and hitting every lyric, Soa’s fire was just too much to come up against as she once again dominated and saved herself. Tragically felling sweet Briochée.

Backstage Briochée was so kind and upbeat about her elimination, I almost ran into Nicky’s dressing room and screamed at her until she agreed to reinstate the icon into the competition. But alas, I was mature. And instead, I pulled her in for a massive hugged and thanked her for not only sharing her talents with the world, but also for being so open with her story. Given she is a delight, she took it all in stride as we laughed together before smashing a massive bowl of La Briochéesecake Ice Cream.

Just when you thought I was going to zig, I zagged instead. Straight into an epic bowl of deliciousness. This barely tweaked take on the Milkbar classic is so damn delicious. So delicious, in fact, that even a cheesecake hater could be converted.

Enjoy!

La Briochéesecake Ice Cream
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
1 gelatin leaf
240ml milk
45g Lauren Graham Cracker crumbs
25g milk powder
¾ tsp raw caster sugar
¾ tsp kosher salt
15g butter, melted
15ml double cream
½ batch of Liquidita Von Däshcake
1 tbsp sour cream

Method
Pop the gelatin leaf in some water for ten minutes to bloom. While that is getting soft, transfer some of the milk into a saucepan and lightly warm. Drain the excess liquid from the gelatin before adding to the warmed milk and whisk until completely dissolved.

Meanwhile combine the graham crumbs, 5g of the milk powder, raw caster sugar and ¼ tsp salt in a bowl until well combined. Fold through the melted butter and double cream until well combined and small clusters form.

Transfer to a blender with the gelatine milk and remaining milk, the liquid cheesecake, sour cream, remaining milk powder and salt, and blitz until smooth. When you think it is blitzed enough, leave it going for another couple of minutes.

Pour the liquid into an ice cream churn and cook as per instructions before transferring to an airtight container. Pop in the freezer for a couple of hours to set, or just smash straight out of the churn if you want it soft-serve style.


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Lentil Pie Giang

Main, Pie, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Jeffrey opted to keep the twists coming, this time going with the old faithful of splitting the merged tribe into two groups. Then offering out an immunity for someone on each group before they head to back-to-back tribal councils and each boot someone from the game. After trying to rally a sausage fest alliance earlier in the episode, Rocksroy was living his dream on group one where he was stuck with his allies Mike, Hai and Omar, and they were primed to get rid of Romeo. Sadly for him, Omar and Hai weren’t so keen on the all male alliance and everyone joined together to boot Rocks from the game instead. Upon seeing another African American had joined the jury, both Maryanne and Drea were nervous that unconscious bias had seeped into the game. As such, they each played their idols leaving Tori as the only option to be booted. Not because Lindsay was immune, but because she is a queen.

Back at camp Hai was thrilled that their tribal council went to plan, particularly grateful that Mike was on board and he doesn’t have to worry about him getting annoyed and blowing up their alliance. Despite Mike being a little salty to have had to do it. Sadly as he complained to Omar, the latter saw an opening to get Mike to ditch Hai in favour of him and as such plotted to absolutely trash their bond. The two groups then reunited where the latter group were still reeling from the emotion of their tribal council, though given it was Tori that went, not many people were actually bothered.

The next day Lindsay pulled Omar aside to talk shit about how bossy and stupid Jonathan was the day before as he was willing to risk Maryanne. And needless to say, Omar was just as unhappy to be aligned with Jonathan and was very keen to try and figure out how to make a break. Knowing that a new idol should be hidden around camp, Lindsay left Omar to go for a hunt. Sadly for her, she literally touched it in her search though missed it and kept on moving. Which gave Maryanne enough time to stumble on it while hunting for twigs and well, she was absolutely thrilled.

As the wind and rain whipped across the beach, the tribe met up with Jeff for the latest reward challenge. Which would have been tough if they had to stop shivering. Instead, they just had to balance a sack on a pole and manoeuvre through obstacles before tossing it at a target. The first one to finish winning an overnight reward complete with shelter, a bed and pizza. And did I mention pizza? While Jonathan got out to an early lead, Lindsay and Hai were nipping out his heels. And well, Lindsay straight up landed her bag on the second toss and it was so exciting to watch her cute reaction. Probst, being cheeky, then gave Lindsay the chance to take someone with her, opting for Omar since he has not received a reward yet. Feeling kind, she was then given one other spot, opting to take Mike to further build their relationship. And shit, they are ruining Hai on this reward, aren’t they?

Back at camp the tribe were miserable, in pain from how cold and exhausted they are. Showing far more strength than I could muster, everyone rallied around, pulling the shelter apart to fix it up and try to give them a much needed reprieve from the weather. We then learnt that Hai had a difficult upbringing as an immigrant, and hearing him talk about how this pain is only temporary, well, I fell in love with him again. Particularly when he and Lindsay whispered about banding together to get rid of Jonathan.

We then fast forwarded through said misery to when Lindsay, Omar and Mike arrived at the sanctuary, smashing pizzas before they were distracted by the sound of their loved ones. A wall of TVs then lit up, with photos and videos from home and ugh, I’m crying, they’re crying and well, it was just beautiful. After drying their tears and hugging it out, talk turned to the game with Omar quickly throwing Hai under the bus and well, Mike bought it hook, line and sinker and while I live for cheeky little Omar, I am heartbroken. As Mike seethed, Lindsay opened up about her amulet and as such, admitted she would be very willing to turn on Hai to increase her power. Despite being pissed with Jonathan.

The tribe regrouped with Probst for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a narrow balance beam and balance a ball on the curve of an upturned bow. Almost instantly Mike and Hai dropped out, while everyone else stood still like statues. Out of nowhere Romeo dropped his ball, followed by Omar before the final four moved down to a narrower stretch of beam. That saw Maryanne drop straight away, while Jonathan continued to struggle through. Drea dropped her ball out of nowhere while Jonathan defied the odds as he and Lindsay made it to the final round. Sadly for Jonathan, his giant feet couldn’t handle the twig-like beam beneath him and finally dropped his ball, handing Lindsay immunity.

And more importantly, kept her challenge run alive!

Back at camp everyone was thrilled by the fact Lindsay took out immunity, meaning they could finally take their shot on Jonathan. Hai caught up with Mike, assuring him that they are 100% solid and that getting rid of Jonathan is the best for all of them. Sadly Hai did not realise Mike now hates him, as such immediately taking the information from Omar to Jonathan and floated the idea of getting rid of Hai instead. Meanwhile Lindsay was pulling Drea over to her side before she realised that every single person would be happy to just get rid of Hai and call it a day.

Oblivious to his impending doom, Hai caught up with Jonathan and assured him that he doesn’t need to play his Shot in the Dark tonight as he will gladly play his non-existent idol on Jonathan instead. Thrilled to have fooled him, Hai happily pottered around camp while Omar and Jonathan caught up over the plan. Which sadly made Omar nervous about getting rid of Hai, given he is actually loyal to him and that there is always the fear of Jonathan going on an immunity run to the end.

At tribal council Lindsay was feeling her oats over winning back-to-back challenges with Mike particularly thrilled to have had the chance to get warm for even one night on reward. Lindsay articulated how they are all a little mad for wanting to play the game, given it is so miserable though they are also living for it. Hai admitted that he was worried about what was discussed on the reward, though felt that every single one of them have no idea whether they were out in front or at the back of the pack. And one stumble could switch everything up in an instant anyway.

Omar agreed it was hard to decide on the right decision at any given moment while Mike shared that most of his decisions are based on what his gut is telling him. And then Maryanne likened the entire game to playing Jenga, with constantly moving pieces making it difficult for everyone. Lindsay then threw down the gauntlet, saying that her vote would be based on evening the playing field which immediately made Jonathan nervous. Luckily for him it was all for show as the tribe banded together to get rid of Hai instead.

Thankfully Hai is an absolute, pure delight and entered Ponderosa with a smile on his face despite being brutally blindsided by the entire tribe. Though I guess that is arguably the best way to go out, if you are voted out. I congratulated him on playing such a killer game and while I was disappointed to see him go, I am thrilled to have given him some loving comfort. In the form of Lentil Pie Giang.

A little bit spicy and oh-so-warming, this pie is not only life affirming – don’t tell me food isn’t – but it also is healthy, since it is vegetarian. So why have one, when you can have them all. You know?

Enjoy!

Lentil Pie Giang
Serves: 8. Or, as I mentioned, 1.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp ginger, minced
1 red chilli, finely chopped
1 carrot, grated
1 celery stalk, sliced
2 tsp black mustard seeds
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground turmeric
300g brown lentils
2 potatoes, cut into 1cm dice
400g can diced tomatoes
2 cups vegetable stock
1 cup coconut milk
½ cup peas
½ cup coriander, roughly chopped
salt and pepper
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
2 sheet puff pastry
1 egg, lightly whisked

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat and sweat the onion, garlic, ginger, chilli, carrot and celery, until soft and sweet. Stir through the mustard seeds and spices, and cook for another couple of minutes, or until fragrant. Add lentils, potato, tomatoes and stock,  and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook, stirring infrequently, for 1 hour or until lentils and potato are tender. Stir in coconut milk, peas and coriander, and season to taste and remove from the heat.

Preheat the oven to 200°C and cut each pastry sheet into four squares.

Press the shortcrust pastry into the bases of eight individual pie dishes. Divide the mixture between the pie dishes before brushing the pastry with some egg. Cover the pies with the puff pastry, pressing the pastries together to steal. Neaten the edges, or scrunch it up, depending on if you love a little excess pastry around the edges.

Brush the tops of the pies with more egg, cut a little steam hole in the middle and pop them on a baking sheet. Transfer the baking sheet into the oven and bake for 20 minutes or so, or until the pastry is golden and crisp.

Allow to cool for five minutes or so before devouring.


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Vegetable Samontha Gash

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the trio of returnees were ready to create some chaos, though sadly, were still tragically outnumbered. Thankfully, at the auction, KJ scored herself an advantage after bidding on a pot of tea. After the alliance locked in the vote against Jordie, Mark and Sam left their idols back at camp before KJ gagged the tribe by announcing her advantage was to send three people back to camp prior to the vote. After shoo-ing away Chrissy, Mark and an immune Josh, the purgatory trio finally had the numbers but after Sam convinced them all she had an idol in her pocket, they flipped the vote to Jordan and sent him from the game instead.

Back at camp Chrissy, Mark and Josh were shocked to discover that Jordan went home, with Josh particularly seething and as such, was ready to get revenge on anyone involved. As Josh straight up threatened Dave, Mark jumped in to tell him how stupid he is while Sam rightly praised him for making a move. She tried to calm down the enraged duo and Chrissy, while Josh just focused on how stupid their move was. When it was literally the only bloody option. Get a grip, man!

The next day the mood was still super tense, though Jordie was living his best life. Full of pride to have gotten KJ out of her shell and ready to dominate the game. He opened up about the logic to target Jordan, while Chrissy was telling the tribe how she originally thought three people were going home, so admitted to being a little relieved to have just lost Jordan. While KJ was telling Sam about how proud she was to have gotten the full Survivor experience, Josh continued to carry on, muttering about how she just painted a target on her back and that he would be getting her back ASAP.

Sam and Mark caught up to celebrate being the last couple left in the game, while Sam questioned whether they should get rid of one of their idols by burying it. She opened up about doing a double degree in law and acting, which yeah, shows she can argue a case and is a good liar but mainly I just find it a super fun fact. The marrieds agreed that while Josh desperately wants to take out KJ, that is not in their best interest and as such, they need to keep what is left of their alliance together and get rid of Jordie.

Josh meanwhile continued to be angry, but assured us he will use that rage to take out immunity again and get rid of that newly pesky KJ. Chrissy dropped by to chat to Josh, and admitted that she had time to think and suggested now would be the right time to take out Mark and Sam. But try as she might, laying out logical argument after logical argument, Josh just couldn’t bring himself to even try to flush their idol(s). And now would be a great time to remind everyone that he was sold as a mastermind for a couple of episodes.

The tribe joined Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would roll a ball up a ramp and try to build a line of blocks at the bottom so that once built, the ball knocks them over like dominos until it is long enough for one of them to drop in a bucket at the end. Mark, Josh and Jordie got out to the earliest of leads, while Shay straight up smacked herself in the face with the ball before Jordie knocked over his stack. As Dave tried to close the gap, KJ dropped hers, followed by Mark and well, I’ll cut to the chase. Everyone was back and forth, knocking over their stacks before Mark rebuilt and secured himself immunity.

Back at camp things were once again intense as Sam, Mark, Chrissy and Josh joined together to plot a new move. While Mark rightly pointed out that he doesn’t want to align with anyone that had already been voted out, he suggested that Josh or Chrissy would be able to lure Dave back to their side and take back control. Speaking of Dave, he and the purgathree were continuing to plan to get rid of Sam. Jordie pulled Josh aside to float the idea of him joining their side and get rid of the final couple and then continuing to work together until the end, alternating being the one to decide who should go home.

While Josh agreed that neither Sam or Mark would be willing to take him to the end, he still felt it was a ‘dog move’ to turn on them. Which again, is the game. But him turning on them, based on his history, is the perfect cover to avoid the idol being played. Dave traded out with Jordie, apologising to Josh for voting out Jordan before throwing Sam under the bus as the one person that pushed for Jordan to go home. And as such, Josh finally felt angry enough to make a move. A very logical, and arguably the only move he can make if he has any interest in winning. Josh started to simmer based on this new information – which again, shouldn’t have been needed – and seriously considered turning on Mark and Sam.

Even though Sam was solely acting out of self-preservation. But who cares, we’re getting a move, so let’s ignore the facts.

Speaking of which, the couple left the shelter to figure out their plan of attack. Sam rightly pointed out that tonight’s tribal council will decide how the endgame will look. And if they lose, their alliance will go out back to back to back. Mark meanwhile felt that Dave will gladly flip back to their alliance, given he doesn’t even like Jordie. Though they did agree to take the idols to tribal council as insurance, while Sam was confident they wouldn’t vote for her out of fear of the idol. Which is exactly what they were locking in, as Jordie met up with his allies to tell them that he is hopeful Josh may finally flip to their side.

At tribal council Josh spoke about his pain at having lost his cousin, though was grateful to have an alliance that he trusts. He continued to talk about his desire to get revenge, and was grateful to not have to worry about any stupid advantages. Dave spoke up, talking about how Sam played everyone at the last tribal council which confirmed her fears that Dave wasn’t with them. This led to a lot of whispering back and forth, with Josh starting to get paranoid about not being on the right side of the numbers and as such, questioned whether he and Chrissy should flip.

Sam started to worry and suggested that they will need to play an idol, which Mark quickly shut down though did admit to Jonathan that tonight’s tribal council is very important. Mark and Josh then whispered about whether they should be concerned, with Josh assuring him to just play it safe. Jordie praised Josh for playing a good game and reacting appropriately to Jordan’s boot, while Sam reminded everyone that Josh has been completely loyal throughout the game. Chrissy and Josh then whispered, with Chrissy pointing out that Jordan appeared to be giving Sam deathies and willing them to vote her out. Before Jordie and Sam each reiterated their last minute pitches.

With that, the tribe voted, Josh told Mark to play the idol for Sam but when he didn’t give them a reason, they hesitated and missed the opportunity which proved to be a huge mistake as Josh had joined with the outcasts to boot Sam from the game.  Much to the absolute delight of the jury.

As soon as I saw Sam walking into the Jury Villa, I ran to her and pulled her in for a massive hug. While at times the game has been boring, it was in no small part due to the absolute dominance of Ms. Samantha Gash, our paranoid queen. I congratulated her on returning to the game having learnt her lessons from her first (iconic) season, which led to her controlling the entire pre-merge portion of the game and wisely not targeting Sandra. While yes, her post-merge game was essentially falling on her sword for Mark, it is hard to fault in a Blood vs Water season as the duo have to decide what path gives them the best opportunity to win. And given the amount of alphas on the jury, it makes sense to prioritise Mark because sexism will always come into play (read: Chrissy losing to Ben).

She was so moved by my words, we quietly sat down at the table and smashed a big batch of Vegetable Samontha Gash.

Lightly spiced and packed full of my favourite veggies – namely peas and potatoes – these babies are near perfect. Crispy pastry and piping hot potato. Need I say more?

Enjoy! 

Vegetable Samontha Gash
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp vegetable oil, plus extra for brushing
1 onion, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, crushed
150g potato, finely diced
100 carrot, finely diced
100g frozen peas
1 tbsp curry powder
½ tsp chilli powder
½ cup vegetable stock
3 cups flour
1 tsp ground cumin
⅓ cup melted ghee
¾ cup warm water

Method
Heat the oil in a frying pan and saute the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft. Add the potato, carrot, peas, curry powder and chilli and cook for a minute before adding the stock. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for half an hour, or until the potato is tender. Leave to cool.

While that is getting real cool boy, combine the flour with a good pinch of salt and the cumin. Slowly add the ghee and water, kneading as you go to create a smooth, firmish-not-sticky dough. Cover and leave to rest for half an hour.

Preheat the oven to 200C.

To assemble, split the dough into ten pieces and roll into discs. Cut each disc in half and shape into a cone. Pack with the filling and seal the ends with a dab of water to form a triangle. Place on a lined baking sheet and continue until the filling and dough are all gone.

Brush the samosas with vegetable oil and place in the oven to bake – because I’m still scared of frying – for fifteen minutes, or until golden and crisp.


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Jasmine Kennedie

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls went back to the ‘60s in honour of the iconic girl groups of the era. As she could not sing any damn notes, at all, Jasmine was focused on remembering the choreography while the iconic Kerri was read for only serving looks. And for being too damn churchy. Despite Bosco and Willow slaying the game, Daya took out the win – after straight up refusing to do any other song. While the rest of the queens were shocked DeJa was in the top, rather than the bottom it was Jasmine and Kerri that landed in the bottom. And despite turning a show, Jasmine won the lip sync and sweet, iconic Kerri went home.

Backstage Jasmine was relieved to still be in the competition though was heartbroken it came at the cost of Kerri, who inspired her to finally live her truth. She opened up to her sisters about how much of a fan she was of Kerri prior to the show, with Bosco trying to remind her it is a competition and sending people home is something they have to do to move on. The dolls sat down and congratulated Daya on her victory with Angeria trying to downplay her bitchiness, while Daya reiterated she is competitive but is sorry she has come down as pretty awful. While Willow admitted she was just glad nobody realised how competitive she is too. Bosco admitted that the safe girls through DeJa was going to be in the bottom, leading to DeJa desperate to finally get a win and to prove herself.

The next day Ru dropped by almost immediately to put the girls through their paces photobombing some famous menzeses. Daya was up first trying to fist Lil Nas X, Angeria was hilarious as she tried to get Becks, Camden spanked Borat, Willow was a demented Marie Lou Redden on Jack Gyllenhaal’s dog. Bosco, Gorgeous and Jasmine were all good in their pics while DeJa was unhinged trying to finger bang Shawn Mendes. But obviously none of it mattered as Willow was head-stand and shoulders above the rest.

Ru then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would be split into two groups to discuss men on duelling Drag Con Panels. And as the winner of the Mini Challenge, Willow was able to select her group, immediately picking DeJa, Angeria and Camden. Leaving Bosco to be stuck with Jasmine, Jorgeous and Daya. The latter of whom was enraged, yet again, to be stuck with her team.

The groups split up to get to work with Willow suggesting DeJa should be the A-Team’s moderator, before Angeria asked whether the panel was meant to be in character or if they should show themselves, with Willow encouraging her to think of it as chatting with her friends. Team Leftovers started by teaching Jorgeous what the word moderator meant before Jasmine requested to be the moderator, which annoyed the hell out of Daya. Obviously. She tried to dance around the fact she thought it was a bad idea, instead asking if Bosco thinks she, Bosco, would be better. Essentially jumping on her with Jorgeous as soon as Bosco said she’d be interested in doing it, with Jasmine admitting its probs for the best. Bless.

Ru dropped by to chat with the dolls, with Team Willow opening up about talking about their fathers as it is a universal topic for them. DeJa opened up early, talking about not being in touch with her father. Angeria admitted she had done a panel before in a pageant and while she lost, it taught her to not waste time and to get to the point. Ru encouraged them to think it is like kiki-ing with your friends – good job Willow! – though was worried that Camden wasn’t believing in herself. Team Bosco mainly focused on the tensions between Daya and Jasmine, with Ru asking Jasmine how she intends to make sure everyone gets a turn in the spotlight. While Ru encouraged them to really open up with each other and find the stories that pack the most punch, Bosco was reminded they need to keep it funny.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls getting ready for their panels with Team Bosco feeling more confident in their plan thanks to their rehearsal. Camden meanwhile was thinking she would look just like her mother on the panel, while DeJa was happy that Willow chose her in the team because she had been wanting to get a chance to work with her. While Camden was narrating her own nature doco, Willow let rip an epic burp and freed Angeria of Camden’s watchful eye.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on their panel by Nicole Byer for the Dragcon Panels with DeJa opening the show looking like a dream and super confident. All in all the group were fun, bouncing off each other well and being oh so charming. Willow was hilarious, Angeria was cute and fun while poor Camden worried about her performance, though honestly, confusing Blake Shelton for Blake Lively was comedic gold. When they turned to talking about their fathers, all the dolls gave a lot of heart and honestly, it was really great to see. 

When it came to the other team, Bosco was far and away the star of the show, hilarious from start to finish giving one liner after one liner and ugh, it was fun. Jasmine tried her best to avoid going off on tangents, Jorgeous was cute and fun – though clearly nervous – while Daya lit up when it came to talk about the men of WWE though beyond that, she was just there, while Bosco slayed.

On the Shoulder Pad runway DeJa looked perfect as a footballer in Chanel, Camden was adorable as a sexy nutcracker, Willow was a punky CEO from the future, Angeria was a perfect houndstooth harlequin. Bosco was stunning in a sexy raincoat over a metalic stripper outfit, while Jorgeous was shimmering in blue though not really giving shoulder pads, moreso puffs while Jasmine was sexy in a lime neon jumpsuit. And Daya looked like an extra from Mad Mex, the Mad Max dinner theatre that serves solely Mexican food.

After Angeria and Camden were sent to safety, DeJa received universal praise for being a warm and effective host, though Michelle wanted her to be a little looser. Oh and she looked a million bucks on the runway. Willow was read for not giving enough shoulder pad on the runway though they lived for everything she did on the panel. Michelle read Bosco’s look for being a little basic, though everyone lived for how she slayed the game on the panel. Jorgeous was read for being more puff than pads (told ya) and for being in her head on the panel. Jasmine received universal praise for her look, though was read for blending into the crowd in the panel despite looking like magician Nancy Reagan, the throat GOAT. And then Daya was praised for being there.

Backstage Angeria and Camden quickly speculated who they felt would be in the top and bottom, with Angeria immediately locking in the correct placements and speculating DeJa may finally take out a win after her strong week. Though they lived for how wise Willow was and generally feeling like Bosco was just an absolute star. While kiki-ing about the fact it was now at the point of nitpicking, the tops and bottoms joined them with Jasmine quickly admitting she is in the bottom though was ready to just prep for the lip sync.

Poor Jorgeous started to break down about being in the bottom too, wanting to prove she could apply what the judges have been trying to tell her. As the girls rallied around her, they reminded her the judges just want the best for her. Oh and then Daya admitted that she gets why she was in the bottom because the rest were all strong. After Willow opened up about her father’s death, Angeria’s parents popped up on screen and well, they were absolutely adorable as was Angeria’s reaction and how happy her sisters looked for her. Angeria congratulated Bosco and DeJa for being such stars as the moderators, with Jorgeous grateful Bosco forced her to open up on the mainstage. While Jasmine was just glad the team talked her out of being their moderator. Nicole joined them for a chat and ugh, it was super cute and honestly, is Nicole the greatest person to grace the planet?

The dolls returned to the mainstage where Bosco took out another very well deserved victory while Willow and DeJa were sent to safety, with Daya narrowly avoiding the lip sync leaving the assassins to face off to Something’s Gotta Hold on Me by Etta James. And well, they sure did put on a show! Kicking and flipping around the stage, they were fun and fierce and well it was the best. They bounced off each other and worked together to charm the judges before Jasmine straight up did the splits every four counts and well, it was perfect. Earning them a very well deserved double shantay.

Backstage Jasmine and Jorgeous were feeling their oats, thrilled to have turned a show for the queens and still be stuck at the top eight. Which obviously annoyed the embodiment of saltiness, Daya. Which Jasmine admitted only made her feel better, given she is looking forward to lip syncing against anyone and sending them home. After the dolls praised Bosco for her win, DeJa opened up about how frustrating it has been to be so close to so many wins but admitted she is still proud of Bosco. While Bosco worried that they’ve done so well, that it is hard to meet Ru’s growing expectations.

The next day Ru arrived and cut off Jasmine mid-stream to task the dolls with a little mini challenge where they pulled together a cute little outfit made out of bubble wrap. Jorgeous was a sexy, skanky mess, Camden looked like drunk lady at the end of the races, Angeria gave full glamour – of course – Willow was a sexy pool noodle, Daya Betty scared me, DeJa was an 80s delight, Bosco was a red hot dominatrix rocker and Jasmine was a demented delight. While Angeria was full glamour, it was Bosco that took out victory before Ru gagged the queens with the news that they would finally be playing the snatch game.

Everyone was a mix of excited and terrified as they quickly split up to prep their characters with Camden playing William Shakespeare, Willow locked in Drew Barrymore and Bosco would be Gooping it up as Gwyneth Paltrow. Ru dropped by to kiki with the queens with Jorgeous doing Ilana Glazer as Ilana in Broad City. Despite Ru trying to push her into Aubrey Plaza. Daya locked in Ru’s sweetheart Ozzy Osbourne, though admitted she is very nervous despite the fact she can hide behind Ozzy’s stumbling, rambling demeanour. Angeria is doing the icon herself, Tammie Brown and damn she was excited to walk the children in nature. Jasmine is playing devil incarnate Betsy DeVos, DeJa is going with Lil Jon, while Camden was going to mock herself as William Shakespeare. Though will make it Joanna Lumley.

The queens joined Ru for Snatch Game, with contestants Dove Cameron and the iconic Raven. Camden started strong, Jasmine was boring despite trying hard, Angeria was hilarious, Jorgeous was just bad bad bad – but so cute. While Willow’s Drew accent was on point, but just struggled while DeJa was demented from the start. Bosco’s Gwyneth was so stoned she had no energy while Daya sadly started strong. Then it all turned to shit as only DeJa continued to get consistent laughs, along with Raven and Dove while the rest just fell flat, flatter and flattest. While Raven looked ready to jump up and slap them all.

Though at least they could tell they were bombing and becoming DeJa’s extras, which helps?

Elimination Day arrived with DeJa thrilled to know she clearly is going to win, given everyone else sucked. Jorgeous meanwhile was prepared to lip sync again, while Bosco agreed that she felt she bombed. Daya asked Jorgeous who she thought she’d be lip syncing against, with her thinking it would either be Willow or Jasmine. Willow and Angeria meanwhile were trying to process the collective of bombs, while the former tried to focus on her runway which she is her favourite given she will be celebrating mushrooms, thanks to her passion for fungus.

Dove Cameron joined Ru, Michelle and Carson on the judges panel as the queens tried for rudemption on the Holy Couture runway. DeJa was a mess, serving Joan (Jett) of Arc which made the look a little better. Jasmine was stunning serving Gemini realness with a reveal, Angeria was a Southern Belle at church, Willow was dementedly stunning as a bleeding fungus, Daya was a mess as Cruella de Vil does Madonna does Lady Gaga. in a wedding gown, literally falling to her knees on the runway. Though unlike Camden, accidentally. Jorgeous was a stunning green Pope complete with a blunt, Camden was a jumble of the Spice Girls while Bosco was the sluttiest nun in the best way possible. 

Michelle interrupted proceedings to reiterate how great the dolls have been this season, though was super confused about what happened on Snatch Game. DeJa meanwhile was praised for being the only funny person on the panel and for looking a million bucks. Jasmine was praised for the choice of Betsy DeVos, though read for not bringing anything funny despite looking stunning on the runway. Angeria recieved universal praise for the runway though was read for making an entertaining queen one note, despite having fun. Willow was praised for giving Drew, though read for being absolutely boring. Obviously they lived for the runway though. Daya was read for doing everything people would expect, while the judges loved Jorgeous’ runway though hated her bland Snatch Game. Camden’s runway was read for being basic and off theme, while her Snatch Game performance was there and that is about it. Bosco’s runway meanwhile was beloved, though they felt she got in her own way as Gwyneth.

Backstage DeJa was obviously thrilled to be edging closer and closer to a win, unless of course, Ru and Michelle opt to go without a winner for the second time after UK. While her sisters were disappointed in themselves, they were proud of her performance and for her finally taking out victory. Camden joked about more than two people lip syncing, with Willow telling her to shut up before she jinxed them all. Everyone channelled Michelle and tried to figure out what exactly went wrong with the challenge, while Jasmine flitted around in the background to get out of her outfit and prep for the lip sync.

As Jorgeous opened up about being completely exhausted, her family popped up on screen to give her a pep talk and ugh, I love them all. Particularly her smoking hot grandma! With that, she immediately started to break down, sobbing over how much she misses them while her sisters rallied around her and reminded her that she needs to love herself. While Bosco just desperately wanted to get Jorgeous’ brother’s number. Angeria tried to distract everyone and ask if they had fun and while a few of them did, Angeria admitted that while she had fun she normally doesn’t and as such, she should stop enjoying herself if she wants to make it to the end. Willow then realised that she jinxed them, given she predicted there would be a challenge everyone bombs back in the Daytona Wind.

Dove Cameron dropped by to see how the dolls were feeling, with Jasmine ready to show her how great she is at lip syncing. Before Dove encouraged everyone to embrace delusion like Jasmine, given she lives for ignoring reality herself.

Obviously DeJa took out victory before Ru gagged the rest of the dolls with the fact that they’re all in the bottom and as such, would be facing off in a lip-sync lalaparuza smackdown for survival. Backstage things were tense for everyone not called DeJa, with Bosco ashamed of them all while Jasmine was confused, and on brand, Daya was enraged and ready to take it out on Jasmine. Daya felt her performance was safe and as such, was annoyed that she has to lip sync against them when they’ve been consistently mediocre the last few weeks. Ignoring the fact that she was eliminated in week two and brought back through no merit process at all. Thankfully Jasmine did not care, given she knows she can turn a show and ugh, I need her to send Daya home.

The next day the dolls quickly split up to get in their best lip syncing attire, while DeJa was living her best life beating her mug and getting glammed up for her time in the audience. Camden meanwhile was heeding the warning from Ru, and ready to turn it out while Angeria and Willow discussed their strategy with Angeria assuring us that she will be doing the park and bark, which is as iconic as it sounds. Daya meanwhile was stirring the pot, telling Bosco that she knew she was angry about the bottom seven too however Bosco shut it down and assured her she was disappointed in herself and that’s it. But trust and believe, she will turn out a show.

While Willow worried that Bosco was too nervous to do herself justice, Daya just shared she doesn’t want to do anything against Jorgeous and Jasmine because she can not do what they do. DeJa meanwhile was living it up speculating about the structure of the battle, making her sisters more and more annoyed/nervous. Jasmine asked Daya why she says ‘no offence’ before being a bitch, with Daya admitting she is just opening up about her fears or stresses. While Jasmine questioned whether maybe she just does it so she doesn’t have to listen to other people’s opinions. Oh and Camden was a mixture of excitement and terrified, while Jorgeous was ready to dominate anyone and everyone.

It was just family on the judges panel as Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross lined up to witness the lip sync lalaparuza smackdown. After learning the rules, DeJa was sent backstage to chill out and watch the show unfold. The Pit Crew was wheeled out to pick a ball, coming up with Jasmine Kennedie who was then given the opportunity to select her opponent, hilariously going with Daya. Which in turn meant Daya was given the power to select the song, going with Respect by Aretha Franklin. While it pains me to admit it, Daya did a very good job. Both lip syncing AND standing in front of Jasmine at every opportunity so the judges couldn’t see her. Which proved a winning strategy as she was sent to join DeJa backstage while Jasmine was left to fight another round.

Willow was next to have her ball drawn, who in turn chose to face off against Bosco as she hoped she would pick a song she’d like to do, rather than wanting to eliminate her. Bosco then selected for them to lip sync to Never Too Much by Luther Vandros. Just as Willow wanted, and well, clever girl! Willow focused on the emotion of the song, while Bosco served 100% sex and while both of them slayed the game, Willow’s strategy proved a winning one as she took out victory. Given the last three would be lip syncing against each other no matter what, the Pit Crew pulled a ball to decide who would select the song with Jorgeous, obviously, selecting Radio by Beyonce. And then demolishing Camden and Angeria, saving herself and sending the duo through to round two.

Lady Camden was the first ball out of the cage for the second round, settling on Bosco who in turn chose for them to lip sync to Don’t Let Go by En Vogue as Bosco was hoping to avoid any possible stuntery from Camden. Sadly for her, Camden can still turn a show without stunts and as such, took out victory and sent Bosco through to the final round. Angeria and Jasmine then took the stage to battle to the remaining song, Love Don’t Cost A Thing by J-Lo and well, it was a SHOW. Jasmine was doing her usual fierce schtick, while Angeria was living her best life and pulled all the focus and as such, took out victory.

Bosco joined Jasmine on stage for the final lip sync of the evening where Ru gooped them with the news they’d be facing off to my dear Diana Ross’ Swept Away for survival. And damn, did the dolls fight! Despite of – or because of – it being their third lip sync of the evening, both of the dolls had an epic fire within themselves as the served camp and emotion and while Jasmine slayed THAT too, Bosco rightly took out victory and saved herself while the iconic Miss Kennedie, Alyssa Edwards Jr was finally felled.

Backstage Jasmine was disappointed to have been eliminated, sure, but was also proud of her growth throughout the season. And for showing how talented she is. And for coming into the woman she has always been. Aka Jasmine had an epic journey this season and while Daya wasn’t feeling her, I lived for how entertaining and goofy she was and as such, toasted her inevitable All Stars crown with a delicious Jasmine Kennedie!

A little bitter – just to remind her of Daya – spicy and sweet, this take on a Jasmine Cocktail (yes, I struggled to shoe-horn a name) is the perfect way to kick off your evening.

Enjoy!

Jasmine Kennedie
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
3 tbsp gin
1 tbsp select aperitivo
1 ½ tsp triple sec
2 tbsp lemon juice
a dash of sugar syrup
twist of lemon, to serve

Method
Half fill an old-fashioned glass with ice before adding the gin, aperitivo, triple sec, lemon juice and syrup.

Stir, add a twist of lemon and down. Then repeat as required/appropriate.


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Banoffeeryl Toad in a Hole

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 1, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previous on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World nine all star queens from across the globe descended on jolly old England to battle for the chance to be the Queen, of the WORLD. Not to be confused with Queen of the Universe, which obviously also starred Jujubee. Because she is great TV. To help Ru and Co get to know them (or get reacquainted with them), they put on a little talent show, or as they say in England, a Royal Command Performance. Despite slaying her number, Lemon was read for showing no face, while Jimbo was just absolutely bonkers, complete with tossing bologna at Ru. Pangina absolutely slayed a lipsync while Janey’s lip sync served subpar reveals. Jimbo and Pangina ultimately took out victory, with Pangina destroying the lip sync and with it, Lemon’s life in the competition.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Lemon so soon, with Pangina admitting she felt a little guilty to be the one to end her run but ultimately, she was confident in her choice. Janey meanwhile was disappointed to have landed in the bottom, particularly when she saw Jimbo had pulled her name to go should she have won the lip sync. Janey read Jimbo for voting based on solely alliances and argued that her critiques were far better than Lemon’s. And well, now she knows Jimbo is the girl she thought she was. Not wanting to be left out of the drama, Blu then questioned whether Jimbo had deliberately thrown the lip sync, given it was a bit of a mess. Which Jimbo vehemently denied because there is no benefit in looking a mess in front of Mel C and Ru. Which is the only thing that makes me question whether Blu is wrong.

The next day things were far more harmonious, with the dolls congratulating Pangina on taking out the first win. Oh wait, no Janey is still pissed at Jimbo and questioned whether she would be voting based on talent now that she is the only Canadian left standing. Fed up, Jimbo admitted that she wasn’t impressed with Janey’s looks in the challenge, particularly since she considers herself a look queen. Which led to Monique jumping in to read the outfits for absolute filth and backing up Jimbo.

After toasting another week of mediocrity for Cheryl, the girls were interrupted by Ru who arrived to announce this week’s Maxi Challenge – a ball! More specifically, the RuPaul Ball which would require them to serve a Kitty Girl look, followed by a Butch Queen inspired number and finally they would be making a new outfit that Ru would want to wear on the You Wear It Well Runway. And the thought of a ball immediately filled Baga with terror and Jimbo with joy. Ru departed and the girls immediately started pillaging the supplies, with Monique going fluro while Jimbo was feeling more golden. While Cheryl cut her thumb open within 30 seconds.

The dolls quickly split up to start planning their looks with Blu feeling confident in her ability to work an outfit, while Janey was just grateful that Holland never served a design challenge and as such, she is an unknown entity amongst the cast. Jujubee meanwhile was hoping to barely scrape through another sewing challenge, given this is one of her notorious weaknesses. As was Baga, who was well and truly feeling out of her depth, wandering around the Werk Room asking for advice and monologuing about how stars like herself don’t sew. While Blu and Monique just reminded her to shut up and get to work.

Cheryl returned from the medic and admitted she was spiralling as she debated between a catsuit or a dress, while Monique repeatedly told her to relax and to get out of her head. Jimbo meanwhile was in her element and despite being sent home on a ball in Canada – by Michelle, no less – she is ready to redeem herself. Or suck them balls dry. While jujubee was FINE, ok!

Ru arrived to check in with the dolls, with Ru laughing it up over how out of her depth Baga is. While Blu had a full Forrester Creations’ calibre drawing and swatches of her fully realised look, while Cheryl tried to sell her outfit already and lied that she is now a confident sewer. Team USA were up next with Monique’s green gown looking glorious while Jujubee was thrilled to have stretchy fabric and distracted from her lack of skills by delighting Ru with her wit and cham. Canada, Thailand and Holland united for their check-in, with Jimbo thrilled to be the last Canadian standing and super confident in her skills. Pangina was thrilled to take out the first victory last week and ready to continue her winning streak by sewing by hand. While Janey was confident in her sewing skills, though not the design skills.

Oh and while everyone was having their kiki, Baga slept. Only waking up as Ru cackled when Janey asked to win the challenge and then follow it up by reminding Ru that she asked first if anyone else comes to her.

After Ru left, Jimbo broke down, overwhelmed to have finally met Ru and to be living her dream and ugh, it was too precious. She then pulled herself together as everyone split up to work on their gowns. Even Baga, who managed to pull herself out of her funk. Blu and Cheryl approached Jujubee to talk about how much they love her, with Juju advising them to put up boundaries between themselves and their drag persona to help them not lose sight of themselves. Blu opened up about being so happy in drag that she started to question her gender identity, with Cheryl agreeing that she also had those thoughts and it is so hard to learn to listen to your voice and love yourself. Juju spoke about the polarity of being a queen, before Blu admitted that she used to think that she was trans but ultimately feels she lives somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum and was happy not to label things just yet..

Janey started to struggle with the sewing machine, unsure of her choices leading to Monique stepping in and quickly selling a concept and encouraging her to just slay it. While Baga hung in the corner, still smarting over the fact they have to sew.

Elimination Day rolled around with everyone putting finishing touches on their looks and beating their mugs, while Pangina finished off Baga’s look for her. Mainly because she doesn’t want anyone to embarrass them as a cast, which, understandable. Though Baga was so insufferable that even she started to regret trying to help. Cheryl opened up about how she buggered up her first look, so made an entirely new one overnight. Though the new one was also a mess. Like. It was so bad, it got the shady womp womp.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Daisy May Cooper on the judges panel as they opened the show with the Kitty Girl runway. Pangina was an avant garde royal, Egyptian cat and it was glorious. Janey took it one further as Cleo-catra, Cheryl was the sexiest snow-white cat while Juju wore a sexy gown with cats on her boobs, complete with feathered trim. Jimbo was the sluttiest liger to grace the planet while Baga was a demented Cheshire Cat, complete with scractching her worms off her hole on the runway. Which was iconic. Blu was a lilac alien cat, while Monique closed the show as a black lunar cat and well, it was stunning. Despite the lack of brown cow.

Pangina opened the Butch Queen runway looking glorious as Queen Liz hunting at Sandringham. Janey gave us sexy prisoner, Cheryl served flaming biker chick, Juju looked like a CEO and then Jimbo one-upped the biker looks having handlebars connected to her nips. And it was glorious. Baga gave demented soldier, Blu was a perfectly stunning strongest man while Monique was a leather daddy and well, my basement is positively flooded. And that was before we got the bum reveal.

On the You Wear It Well runway, Pangina was glorious in an architectural magenta gown. Janey slayed in a shimmering, icy bodysuit with a disco-inspired train while Cheryl tried her best to sell what she described as the worst outfit on the mainstage. Ever. Juju looked like shimmering, crinkled 70s curtains while Jimbo was perfection in a shimmering golden outfit with a slit all the way to her breastplate. Thanks to Pangina, Baga managed to pull something half-decent off while Blu looked like a disco-dream in a well made bodysuit. While Monique gave a sight in lime, though I’m not sure what sight that was exactly.

Ultimately Baga and Blu were sent to safety before the judges heaped praise on Pangina for everything she served, living for her versatility and her ability to serve comedy. Despite them wishing her designed look was full length. Janey was praised for three such distinct looks, with Daisy May Cooper flooding her basement for her Butch Queen while Michelle wasn’t sold on her Kitty Girl runway. Though she did admit that Janey’s designed look is the most likely one Ru would wear, which led to Janey thanking Monique for her help in front of everyone. 

Cheryl was praised for serving Marie from Aristocats on the Kitty Girl runway while her designed look was rightly read for being an absolute mess. Leading to her breaking down over how messy she was, before apologising for not giving her best. Juju meanwhile was read for being basic as Michelle essentially treated her like Pearl and told her to wake up. Though Ru told her she would actually wear the dress, while agreeing that it felt like Juju just hadn’t shown up yet. Jimbo rightly received universal praise, then full on impersonated Ru and ugh, it was so damn fun. Monique’s glorious first two looks received universal praise for all that she did, though her designed look was read for not hitting the mark. Which she agreed were the facts. Lol.

Jimbo rightly landed in the Top 2 for the second week running, this time alongside Janey while Pangina and Monique were deemed safe, leaving Cheryl and Juju up for elimination.

Backstage Janey was thrilled to get her redemption from the week before as Cheryl led everyone in praising their sisters for their win. Jimbo was thrilled to show she can serve a ball, and assured them she was even more fired up to win the lip sync. Baga asked Juju whether she was ok with what the judges said, with Jujubee agreeing that she hasn’t shown up and has kinda been bad. This lead to Monqiue questioning if that was all simply a strategy to coast by and not look threatening. Blu questioned whether Baga feels guilty about being safe, given that other people made her gown when Juju was in the bottom for something she did by herself.

Which, again, lol.

The dolls split up to deliberate with Cheryl pointing out to Jimbo that Juju has had so many chances and as such, she should be better than she’s been and as such, go home. Jimbo asked her whether she would send Jimbo home if she stumbled, with Cheryl assuring her she is the front runner and that is something that would stop Cheryl from sending her home. Juju meanwhile charmed Janey, reminding her that while she has been here multiple times before, this is a new competition and she still wants to fight hard. And admitted she would have Janey’s back if and when it was required.

The safe girls meanwhile agreed Cheryl was the worst, though Blu did reiterate the fact that Juju is here for the fourth time. Which to quote Art Simone, means nothing.

The dolls switched places with Cheryl reiterating her argument, with Janey admitting to us that she doesn’t know whether she should make her decision based on the competition or on whether someone has competed multiple times. Though given Cheryl felt Janey had a wall up, she was pretty sure she was in trouble. Meanwhile Juju was assuring Jimbo that she will do better if she keeps her around, wanting to see it to the end and most importantly, compete against the best. Juju then also assured Jimbo she would have her back should she stay.

Jimbo and Janey returned to the stage to battle for victory to a remix of Mama Ru’s Supermodel and well, Janey was not going to let Jimbo jag a win despite Jimbo vowing not to do the hokey pokey this time. While Janey was serving disco diva, Jimbo gave a parody performance of somebody at Studio 54 and while I lived for it, Janey’s polished perfection jagged her the win. And the right to send home one of the bottom girls, ultimately eliminating Cheryl from the competition. Most likely, for having another week of being mediocre.

Like a damn icon.

While Chez was heartbroken to have exited the competition, I quickly had her laughing it up at how iconic it was for her to once revel in her mediocrity. Despite being a total, absolute icon that is in no way mediocre. With that out of the way, Chez and I slipped straight back into our friendship, gossiping, joking around and most importantly, smashing a Banoffeeryl Toad in Hole in honour of her star power.

Like Chez, this little number proves that sometimes classics are just perfection. Banana and caramel are such a gorgeous combination, that this sweet twist on a Toad in a Hole can only fill you with joy. Squishy and oh so sticky, it is the only thing tasty enough to honour our Chez!

Enjoy!

Banoffeeryl Toad in a Hole
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 ⅓ cups flour
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 ½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp cinnamon
1 ⅓ cups milk
3 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ cups Dulce de Nick Lachey
1 tbsp water
100g milk chocolate, roughly chopped
2 bananas, peeled and cut in half lengthways
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C. 

Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder and cinnamon in one bowl, and the milk, eggs and vanilla in another. Create a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and slowly whisk in the milky-eggs mixture until just combined.

Combine the Dulce de Nick Lachey and the water in the base of a baking dish to losen it up a bit. Pour the batter on top and then dot with the chocolate and bananas, cut side up.

Transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until the batter is just set. Serve immediately with ice cream and devour. In honour of sweet Chez.


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Charribiata Kaseta

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race UK, poor Victoria was withdrawn from the competition due to a dodgy knee like Eureka before her. The dolls had no time to process the tragedy as they were tasked with going to camp on the runway. Sweet Veronica coached everyone to get their looks over the line, sadly cutting her nose off to spite her face with a sloppy, unfinished look. While Scarlett slayed and took out victory, Vanity once again landed in the bottom, this time opposite Veronica who fought valiantly, but was ultimately felled by the lip sync assassin.

The dolls were shell shocked as they returned to the Werk Room, heartbroken that Veronica’s kindness proved her undoing. Despite this, the dolls were proud of Vanity’s lip sync and praised her for being just as talented as Veronica. Charity led the girls in congratulating Scarlett on her win, though Scarlett was disappointed that her win was partly because Veronica helped her make her look. Choriza spoke about the disappointment of seeing Veronica go home so soon, while Vanity wished it had been Choriza in the bottom in Veronica’s place.

The next day Scarlett was thrilled to join the victorious badged twink army, with the dolls just happy that she is finally open to receiving praise. Vanity asked River how she plans to stand out, with the girls questioning her passion for the competition and ugh, I hate to see my faves Scarlett and River fight. Kitty and Choriza meanwhile were looking forward to join the badge club while Vanity was just gagging to top once in the competition.

Ru arrived to announce that this week the dolls will be forming two girl groups for the ultimate UK challenge. Scarlet as the winner and Vanity of the victorious survivor were tasked as team captains, with Scarlett, Kitty, Charity and Krystal forming one girl group while Vanity, Ella, River and Choriza were their rivals. Each group would perform different remixes of the new hit song, BDE – Big Drag Energy – with one group going up tempo, while the others got the power bottom remix. As the winner of the previous challenge, Scarlett was the one that got to listen to both remixes and pick which one she wanted for her team. Oh and the dolls would be judged by Queen, Icon, Legend – Baby Bunton!

As the dolls split up, Scarlett listened to the remixes and quickly selected the up tempo number for her team. She then rallied her crew and quickly explained that  she chose them to offer a range of diversity, while team Vanity were just desperate to prove everyone wrong and I love it. While the up tempo dolls lived for their Spice Girls-esque number, they were laughing about how shit the power bottom version is while Ella, Vanity, River and Choriza were living their best life, ready to take the win. And with the name Pick’n’Mix, how can they go wrong?

The other dolls locked in the name Slice Girls before the dolls were gagged by the arrival of freakin’ STEPS. On the Steps. They then announced that they were tasked with helping the dolls record their songs and learning their choreo for their debut performance. And ugh, UK, hun indeed.

The Slice Girls were up first recording their song with Kitty slaying from start to finish while Scarlett, girl, she struggled. Bad. Then Krystal, well, she couldn’t find a key. Not a one, before Charity jumped in and was demented and creepy and so damn charming, in an evil witch from Snow White kinda way. Pick’n’Mix didn’t do much better as Ella’s nerves took her out of her West End star roots, Vanity though slayed a damn rap about race – QUEEN – while River was cute and sweet, with old zaddy Steps talking about how much her lyrics will change lives. River then spoke about how H was that for her, breaking down and ugh, I love her so much. Ditto twofold Choriza, who served the most demented rap and I love it.

On to the choreography with Slice Girls as Kitty took the lead and while she tried to keep it simple yet impactful, Charity encouraged her to make it more impressive. Despite not being able to walk in time. Again Pick’n’Mix slayed the rehearsal, wait, no, they had no idea what they were doing, expecting Steps to give them their, well, steps. That being said, I am hoping it is a fake out given Vanity and Ella really hit their stride, bouncing off each other while River and Choriza were living their best lives. Particularly when River suggested they lean into the camp of a good old power ballad.

Elimination Day arrived with Pick’n’Mix quickly getting to work getting a consistent look, while Slice Girls were just happy to serve a touch of metallic. Ella and River caught up about their lyrics, sharing how much it means to them to get their stories out with River reliving her mother’s death from COVID and ugh, again, I love River so damn much. 

As Ru, Michelle, Alan and Baby Bunton took their places on the judges panel, the Slice Girls took the stage and well, they slayed. Krystal hit every move, Charity was demented and high-energy, Scarlett though started to miss her lyrics and damn, it makes me worry for my favourite twink. Though given how amazing Kitty was, maybe she won’t have to worry? Vanity meanwhile was just confused by everything they did as they sat backstage. And well, given how damn GOOD Pick’n’Mix were, I understand the shade. Ella hit all of the notes, Vanity was perfection, River served all the emotion and well Choriza was Choriza which is the ultimate compliment. I mean, Ella’s facial expressions and the cheesy choreo was totally Choriza. Aka perfection.

On the Night of 1000 Spice Girls runway, Krystal slayed as a baby blue Baby Spice and ugh, she is good. Charity gave sexy Scary Spice by way of Nina Bonina Brown, Kitty gave a glamorous, angelic reunion tour Baby Bunton. Scarlett was total Scary in a lime mini, Ella was a sequined delight as wannabe Sporty Spice. River slayed as an all red Ginger, complete with Stop routine. Vanity too rocked Scary, but made it CEO while Ginger was stunning in Union Jack realness.

Rightly Pick’n’Mix took out victory and were sent to untuck before the Sliceys got their critiques. Krystal received her usual universal praise, while Michelle wished she could have given more in the lyrics. Charity was read for wearing blue when everyone else was silver and white, though Alan loved that she was the rebel of the group. Her lyrics were deemed challenging at times, though her runway was praised for killing the game despite not being Mel B. At all. Kitty received universal praise; from the lyrics to the energy to her looks, the judges ate everything up. And ugh, poor Scarlett was read for filth and she knew it before it even happened. Though Michelle did try and encourage her, reminding her to stay confident and stay focused on the task at hand.

Backstage the winners were gloriously toasting their success before they realised that all the past winners had landed in the bottom this week. Choriza read Scarlett for picking the cool, girls, given they managed to bring more diverse flavour. The Slice Girls arrived backstage with Scarlett and Charity sure that they would be lip syncing tonight, with the latter heartbroken that her vibe isn’t coming through with the judges. River encouraged her to focus on her talent and not get bothered, while Kitty was just giddy to have spoken to Baby Spice despite being in the bottom. Choriza then threw some shade at Scarlett for not picking her, with Krystal admitting that she sees her as a massive threat. While Scarlett apologised repeatedly for landing her team in the bottom.

Ultimately Krystal and Kittty were sent to safety, leaving Charity and Scarlett to battle it out to the Spice Girls’ iconic anthem, Who Do You Think You Are. And holy shit balls, was it amazing. Both the dolls had every lyric down, Charity was totally demented, Scarlett had the camp and well, it was a show and I was here for every damn minute. So I was thrilled to learn that both of the dolls were safe and would live to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the double shantay with Scarlett thrilled to still be there, while Charity was glad to show what she does best after a string of being safe. She spoke about struggling with the negative critiques but assured them that she was here to fight, while Scarlett felt like her stint in the bottom lit a fire in her belly. Oh and Kitty was ready to finally get a badge, hopeful that an acting or comedy challenge was coming up so that she could finally prove herself

The next day Scarlett was feeling nice and spicy, ready for a rebirth while the rest of the girls were dragging her about staying at the back of the pack. She was given a reprieve by the return of RuPaul who tasked the dolls with doing it doggy style by pairing up with their best bitch to prove they are best in show. With one half getting into doggy quick drag and the other coming as their handler. Choriza and River were up first in RuPaul’s Dog Race with Choriza hilariously aggressive, Kitty was bouncing boobs and all charm as she walked Charity through the course, Krystal wanted to speak to the manager while putting Scarlett through her paces, while Ella confused her sit and shit commands from Vanity.

Scarlett and Krystal took out victory, making them team captains as the dolls filmed commercials to promote Ru’s in-home personal assistant, Draglexa. Team Scarlett featured Kitty, Choriza and Ella while Krystal was joined by River, Vanity and Charity. With that, Ru disappeared and the teams quickly split up and got to work. Scarlett opted to take the lead to redeem herself until she learned that Choriza’s degree was in advertising, which made her happily hand the reins to her. Over at Team Krystal, Charity felt nobody was taking the lead in the challenge so started throwing out concepts and project managed the entire thing, and I’m so proud of her. While back with Team Choriza, she was disappointed by Scarlett’s ideas but was willing to listen to everyone before making aggressive cuts. Which isn’t relevant, but is hilarious.

Oh and Krystal and Charity threw down over how funny the latter’s ideas are and ugh, I worry for my love Charity.

Ru made a ru-turn, first catching up with Team Krystal where Charity shared that she was shocked to be so stuck in her head in the competition. But after a quick pep-talk from Ru, she was ready for her badge. Ru had the dolls, well herself, laughing about how she has never done her own make-up. We then swapped teams with the dolls coming prepared with a storyboard before they made Ru nervous about their choice to have multiple different Draglexa voices. Oh and Choriza’s memoir will be called Bumpy Padding, Dirty Tights AND has a meaty tuck on account of her UGE penis. Which again, is important.

After RuPaul left Team Krystal started to fall apart as they tried to get ready, while Charity was stuck writing the script on her lonesome.

Team Scarlett were first to film with Michelle with Kitty charming, even while taking a shit and despite the commercial not making a lick of sense. Sadly though, the broader situation appeared to be an absolute mess. Which either means it will be hilarious or the group are all lip syncing. Charity was feeling very anxious as Team Krystal tapped out to film and well, it didn’t go much better as Charity took over to try and give them direction which only upset the rest of her team.

Elimination Day rolled around with Kitty and Scarlett bonding as the latter opened up about being raised by a sick mother and how their relationship was stressed by the fact they also had no money. She admitted that she and her mum are now close and she is supportive of her, though her mum has COPD which is at the point that it will kill her. And now she is suffering under the regret of wasting time fighting. And ugh, watching her cry breaks my damn heart.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Leigh-Anne Pinnock from Little Mix as the dolls showed off their Expenny-Henny Runways with Ella going Tony Award chique and looking an absolute delight. Scarlett was full frosty CEO, Kitty was STUNNING in a coin draped nude allusion and Choriza was a big shot at the casino n the most delgihtfully, demented Western Cowgirl way. Krystal was glittering, coated from head to toe in crystals – LIKE HER NAME – before River stole the damn show in a gorgeous red and gold South East Asian inspired gown. Charity meanwhile looked like the richest museum gargoyle, while Vanity too was dropping Krystals. 

When it came to the commercials, Team Scarlett were up first and while it wasn’t a mess, it also wasn’t very funny. Despite how hard they tried, particularly Ella. As Kitty laughed at the end of their commercial, the judges were silent if it gives you any idea. Team Krystal didn’t fare any better with River being the only one to have any charm.

This obviously infuriated Ru, who read all the dolls for filth, calling them out for being bland and beige, announcing that for the first time in Drag Race herstory, there will be no winner but assured them that there will still be a bottom two with a doll going home. Team Scarlett’s commercial was read for filth, though Ella was praised for trying her best and giving a killer look on the runway. Despite Michelle hating her wig. Scarlett was read for being predictable and bland, and the judges felt her outfit was just there. Kitty meanwhile was praised for delivering her lines well and looking great on the runway, as was Choriza but again she was praised for her charm rather than anything in particular.

AND THEN MICHELLE outlined a far better commercial in a matter of seconds.

When it came to Team Krystal, their captain was praised for going all in despite a complete lack of jokes. Both of River’s outfits received universal praise but the judges wished they saw more of her in the ad. Charity was praised for continually bringing killer looks, while Michelle desperately wanted her to show some diversity. While Vanity was praised for her commitment in the challenge and being an absolute babe, despite the fact the judges have no idea who she is.

Ru then decided to rub salt in the collective wounds, asking the girls to identify who should go home this week with Ella wanting to boot Charity for her negative mood despite receiving compliments. Scarlett too wanted Charity gone for her attitude, while Kitty was ready to get rid of Vanity due to her track record. The rest of the dolls then piled up on Scarlett, which led to Scarlett throwing out her jokes that didn’t make it into the commercial. Krystal felt Scarlett didn’t fight hard enough in the last lip sync while the rest were just annoyed by her attitude.

Backstage things got dramatic as the dolls tried to talk it out with Scarlett who looked ready to cut a bitch, refusing to acknowledge them. Ella apologised to Charity with the latter pointing out that pointing out that she is down on herself isn’t exactly motivating or a compliment. As everyone tried to say that they all had to pick someone and it was all ok, leading to Scarlett pointing out that the vast majority want her gone. And then as everyone tried to explain themselves, she stormed off, completely over it. While Choriza understood that she was angry, she also felt that storming off wouldn’t change anything. Scarlett returned and shared that she has struggled to build relationships throughout her life and while everyone tried to assure her that they love her and want to be her friend, it was not happening as they split up to learn the lip sync.

Ultimately Ella, Kitty, Chorizo, Krystal and River were deemed safe, with Vanity joining them after Ru implored her to step her pussy up. That meant we were blessed with the exact same bottom two as the week before, this time featuring the dolls lip syncing to the ICONIC Big Spender. Charity served Disney villain realness in the absolute best way possible, while Scarlett went balls to the wall with a full Broadway serving of CAMP. And ugh, why does UK serve such killer songs for their lip syncs?! While they both fought valiantly, it was Scarlett who lived to fight another day as the supremely talented Charity Kase was shown the door. Complete with a Wicked Witch melt on her way out.

Barely having time to recover from her death-shrieks, I grabbed Charity on the way and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I agree – don’t kill me Ru – that the judges slept on her talents throughout the season, I am not one of them and heaped praise on all that she brought to the season. And that isn’t even due to her penchant for flashing her buns on the runway. So after the requisite laughing, crying and bonding, I whipped up a big batch of Charribiata Kaseta.

Yeah, yeah – this is one of the most basic pasta sauces, pulled together with a bunch of leftover pasta. But I mean, how can you even go wrong with chilli and tomato. Despite its simplicity, this baby packs a bunch and is guaranteed to turn your mood around.

Enjoy!

Charribiata Kaseta
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
3 small red chillies, finely chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
800g canned diced tomatoes
2 tsp raw caster sugar
salt and pepper, to taste
500g mixed dried pasta, cooked
½ cup grated parmesan cheese, plus extra to serve

Method
While the pasta water is coming to the boil, heat he oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add the chillies and tomato paste and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the tomatoes and sugar, stir and simmer for fifteen minutes, or until starting to thicken.

Once the sauce is cooked, season and fold through the parmesan.

Serve, cover with more parmesan and devour. Giddily.


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Baked Emmetta Pughsta

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor poor Flick received the tragic news that her mother had passed away from early onset dementia, with her opting to continue in the game after talking to her family who encouraged her to fight until the end. After a grueling immunity challenge left only four eligible to be voted out, the tribe rallied to boot Cara and weaken the immune George. That is until George found a secret hidden immunity idol, which he played without anyone knowing, meaning Laura was booted with just Cara’s vote. Much to everyone’s shock, none more so than Cara’s.

The next day Emmett was praising Cara for once again avoiding certain doom before catching up with the rest of the tribe, trying to swim away their shock. Cara and George meanwhile were celebrating in the shelter, reinvigorated and ready to continue the game as a powerful duo. Cara meanwhile was just glad that they both managed to play an idol to protect each other, given it is beautifully full circle. After Cara went for a walk, George chased her down and passed off the key for the idol so that she could claim the move as her own, ensuring that the Brains alliance still trusts him and it doesn’t blow up in their faces.

As Cara went person to person sharing the clue and key everyone appeared to believe her. That is except for Andrew, who saw right through it given it was all just way too convenient. Andrew went for a walk to the well with Hayley, Flick and Emmett so they could all share their theories on what actually went down at the previous tribal council, with the one consistent part of each theory being George. Conveniently, he joined them under the guise of filling up his water bottle allowing Andrew to ask him pointblank who played the idol the previous night. And while George continued to deny it, Andrew reiterated that Cara’s body language the night before was screaming defeat and as such, she definitely didn’t play it.

Being an icon George continued to loiter around and talk about how parched he was when he woke up. Andrew however had had it, OFFICIALLY and asked him to respectfully leave so that the four of them could continue their discussion. And after he eventually left, the four confirmed that George and Cara definitely have been playing everyone all game and as such, the entire tribe should unite to get rid of them. Which Emmett and Flick were obviously thrilled to hear, despite not actually caring that Laura went given she and Andrew were so close and they needed to be broken up  eventually.

The tribe reconnected with zaddy Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where the tribe would need to hold a lever to balance a board on which they will build a house of cards using their free hand. For a damn car, so you know they were all thrilled despite, you know, the Survivor car curse. But whatevs. Dani and Emmett got out to early leads, before both of them dropped. Every time someone started to pull ahead, they quickly dropped their stack until Dani started to pull ahead again before she dropped with one card to go. Hayley and Andrew started to pull away before Andrew dropped. Hayley then ran out of blocks before dropping her stack trying to get more, while Emmett returned to the lead as Flick and Cara nipped at his heels. As Emmett’s stack blew over, Dani powered back into the lead and put everyone out of their misery as she took out victory.

Sadly for her, that also means that she isn’t winning the game. Better luck next time Queen Dani!

Jonathan then announced that in addition to winning the car, she was able to take three of her tribemates for a joyride and a cheeky picnic. Obviously picking Flick and Emmett before gagging the Brains by selecting Andrew. Which George read as being the end of his and Cara’s run.

Dani was giddy to have won the car and praised everyone for how they’ve been playing the game, despite all trying to vote her out previously. That was all forgotten however as they arrived at the picnic, gorging on sandwiches and quiches before Dani started to push for Andrew to flip over to the Brawns. Clearly unaware that Andrew, Emmett, Flick and Hayley were already spearheading the downfall of George and Cara.

Speaking of the wonder twins, they returned to camp with Wai and Hayley with George quickly working the girls to come back to their side. Wai was obviously cool, calm and collected, as he talked in circles before straight up admitting that he was the one that played the idol. And that is exactly what he does for the people he cares about, like Hayley and Wai. While Hayley told George that she understands why he denied playing the idol to an angry Andrew, she was happy to get all the information from him and pay him back for voting her out. Oh and the information? Just George’s entire planned bootlist up to the final four.

The tribe reconvened with Jonathan for the immunity challenge where they would each stand on narrow footholds on two stumps like you would try to hold yourself up in a door frame as a kid. Last one standing taking out immunity. After mere moments, George asked Jonathan to help him down and exited the challenge. This annoyed Andrew, who speculated it was all a ruse to downplay his threat level. With Emmett hilariously telling him he sounds paranoid. Dani was next to drop, as Flick, Andrew and Emmett agreed to drop as soon as Cara left the challenge. Sadly Wai was the next to drop before the remaining five made it to 30 minutes, at which point they had to transfer to the narrower footholds.

Meanwhile on the sit out bench, George was asking Wai who they should vote out tonight between Andrew and Emmett, as Wai suggested they just wait and see what happens with the challenge. After an hour the remaining competitors had to transition to the narrowest footholds, at which point Cara dropped out of the challenge. Almost immediately Andrew dropped out, before Emmett suggested the remaining three make it tougher on themselves and remove their hands from the rope they had to steady them with Emmett quickly dropping before Flick dropped out of nowhere, handing Hayley individual immunity.

Back at camp Emmett and Flick were glad that the last four competing were the group that wanted to get rid of George, with Flick wisely pointing out that removing their hands from the rope was a great way to solidify trust given they didn’t grab  them again to save themselves. The group caught up with Wai and Dani to lock in a split vote between George and Cara, with everyone fighting to be the one to get to write down George’s name. Speaking of George, he and Cara were talking about how stupid everyone would be to let Emmett survive another day given it is rare moment he isn’t immune. With that he approached Wai and Hayley to float the plan, with both of them obviously agreeing to join him to his face.

As Hayley and Wai removed themselves to decide which way to go, Hayley was leaning towards booting Emmett, while Wai felt it was still the better move to get rid of George. Oh and speaking of George, he was hiding in the grass behind them eavesdropping on everything. And the only thing worse than having someone hear your plan, is having the person with nothing to lose hearing your plan.

George made a beeline for Cara and filled her in on the fact that they are all alone. With that, they desperately wandered around camp in search of an idol with Cara eventually finding one in a tree right as Emmett walked passed. George immediately pressed Cara to play another idol for him as it guarantees Emmett goes and while I understand it, I’m not sure I trust his maths on this one given the other plan was to do a split vote.

Speaking of Emmett, he was getting nervous about George and Cara catching up with Hayley and Wai, so pulled Hayley aside and laid everything out on the table. He shared that he wanted to go to the end with people he actually wanted to see win and as such, he was planning to go to the end with her, Flick, Dani and Andrew. Which told Hayley she was fifth place in his alliance. Which makes me start to trust George’s maths again.

At tribal council Hayley was thrilled to be immune, shocked by how emotional it made her. George doubled down on the fact that Emmett and Andrew are the alphas of the tribe, which made both of them scoff at him. Andrew said that Hayley was always winning the challenge today, though he and Emmett did admit to feeling a little bit nervous to be here without immunity. George said that Emmett was clearly speaking in code and that he thinks there are some snakes in the tribe, and that he is not sure he can trust anyone other than Cara.

Emmett calmly admitted that he has managed to make new friends since Gerald’s boot and that he wants to work with people that he would be happy to see win. But if they don’t want to work with him, so be it. Hayley spoke about how making new friends and alliances are part of the game and when one door closes, you need to find new options if you want to make it to the end. While George said that he had nothing more to say to the tribe, he doubled down on the fact he has always put his allies first and worked to further their games, often to the detriment of his own. 

With that the tribe voted – George loudly reading Emmett for filth for all the tribe to hear – and Cara held on to her idol, which it turns out was a good move given Hayley and Wai flipped to their side, sending zaddy Emmett from the game.

Despite being savaged by George on his way out the door, sweet Emmett took his boot in his stride and pulled me in for a massive hug when he spotted me in the Jury Villa. You see, before I was cancelled for my lies as a health influencer – no horrible cancer lies like Belle Gibson, I assure you – Emmett and I were the best of friends. Even doing the Rottnest Island swim together. You think the yellow swimmers got tired, you should have seen my white pair! Anyway, we’re dear friends and Emmett being upbeat and kind, stood by me. And as such, I was proud to stand by him with a Baked Emmetta Pughsta.

I know he is the self-proclaimed plant based superman, but he always makes an exception when it comes to the delightful viral feta pasta from Tik Tok (see kids, I’m hip!). While we were sceptical about the recipe at first, I admit that this spicy, salty delight is not only delicious. But so damn simple, you’ll be making it over and over again.

Enjoy!

Baked Emmetta Pughsta
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g cherry tomatoes
6 garlic cloves, bruised
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 tsp chilli flakes
200g Greek feta cheese (aka hard feta)
500g rigatoni
small handful of fresh basil leaves, for serving

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C.

Line a baking dish with greaseproof paper and toss together the tomatoes, garlic and half the oil. Sprinkle it with some salt, a whack of pepper and the chilli flakes. Place the feta in the centre and pour over the remaining oil. Transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes.

When the tomatoes and feta are almost done, cook the pasta as per packet instructions and reserve a cup or two of pasta water when it’s done.

To assemble, mash the feta, tomatoes and garlic with a fork or masher and mix until combined. Loosen with ½ a cup of the pasta water before tossing through the pasta. Add more water as needed until you’ve got a nice coating on the pasta. Adjust the seasoning, fold through the basil leaves and then serve.

Before devouring, obvi.


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