Chicken Stock

Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls starred in a rusical which obviously lasted a full 15 minutes, because this is Spain. Pink Chadora and Clover Bish were a solid duo of Dorothy’s in the club scene take on The Wizard of Oz, though once again it was Pitita that shined amongst the trio of friends. At the expense of the others. Visa in particular, who was also read for her runway while Clover was read for blending in despite being the lead. Further cementing her place as the frontrunner, Pititia took out her third win, enraging Visa who felt she was being favoured. Her mood definitely didn’t improve when she landed in the bottom opposite Clover – who is experiencing the opposite of favouritism – who promptly sent her home.

Backstage Clover was fondly remembering Visa and her potty mouth. After reading her mirror message the dolls all spoke about their love for Visa, while Clover was glad they could turn a show for them in the lip sync. Pitita on the other hand, wasn’t so sad, given Visa read her in Untucked. Thankfully though, that was only in a confessional because the mirror lit up revealing each of the eliminated queens. The top seven were gagged, taking their places around the table to kiki as the six eliminated queens sashayed back into the Werk Room one by one and while they all looked an-gry and Visa straight up threatened revenge, I’m hoping they are all lovely and supportive.

The next day the reunited cast returned to the Werk Room with everyone as kind and excited as I hoped, as everyone welcomed them back. Well until Visa jumped in, assuring the dolls she has more to show and that she is ready to fight. She then caught everyone up on the fact she read Pitita for being favoured by the judges given she can’t lip sync and they don’t want her eliminated. And while she was looking for a fight, Pitita was confident in her skills and was rather unbothered by the entire thing and well, I love the drama but was glad when Supremme dropped by and put an end to things. She welcomed back her fallen daughters explaining that for a chance to return to the competition, they would be paired with a surviving queen to perform a comedy set with the one in the winning duo returning to the competition. Oh and to really up the stakes, she shared that two of the surviving queens would be going home in a threeway lip sync.

The eliminated queens were called forward to select partners with Visa opting for Pitita – for reasons beyond my comprehension if she wants back in, but whatever – The Macarena selected Pink, Kelly went with Vania, Chanel locked in with Hornella, Chuchi picked Bestiah while Maria partnered up with Pakita. Leaving poor Clover in the cursed spot of being the solo host, who generally ends up in the bottom in the US seasons. But as she rides solo, if she wins, she alone can decide who makes a triumphant return to the contest.

As they split up to work on their set, Visa admitted she chose Pitita to clear the air and become friends. But mainly since they have drama, it should make for an exciting watch for the judges. And if she is favoured, that should help her. Though when clearing the air, Pitita carefully worded her apology, meaning Visa wasn’t thrilled by it and well, the feud lives, sadly. After 10 minutes of fighting that ended with them agreeing to use the rage, we checked in with Bestiah and Chuchi and while the former was disappointed to be paired with her, they were super zen and focused. Well, until Clover dropped by to kiki, no doubt sick of being lonely. The dolls told her that they hoped that since nobody expects them to excel at comedy, that surprising them is all it should take to survive.

The Macarena and Pink were glad to already be comfortable reading each other, while Hornella felt that as a duo, they were a ticking time bomb. Hornella and Chanel meanwhile were trying to make the best of things, though Chanel admitted to being the gift Hornella didn’t really want. Oh and then Clover dropped by to needle them for information, and I love that vibe for her. Vania and Kelly meanwhile were dirty and giggling and ugh, just seeing their chemistry you know they are the ones to beat. Once again begging the question, why did Visa and The Macarena pick people they didn’t vibe with? Oh and Pakita and Maria were drama-free sweethearts and I only want good things for them. 

Dia de eliminacion arrived with the dolls talking about how they are handling the pressure as they beat their mugs, with Pitita once again getting attacked, this time by Pink Chadora, who decided she also helped her and as such, Pitita needed to learn to thank others and credit them on the runway. Clover being an icon, ran to the drama to see it all unfold and ideally, use it to fuel her set. The Macarena joined in on the pile up with Pink calling Pitita her external saboteur and well, isn’t continuing to fight with her keeping her in her mind and as such, weakening you for the challenge ahead? But whatever.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined on the panel by Eva Soriano as Clover stomped onto stage to open the Reinas de la Comedia show with charm and energy. Maria started with an awkward little song before Pakita popped out of her dress like a baby and while I thought it made zero sense because of the language barrier, the judges also looked pretty confused, rather than amused. Clover was cute as she read her sisters before Bestiah and Chuchi did a solid performance as influencer mean girls, reading for filth and shocking the judges and their sisters equally. 

Each break Clover went from strength to strength, reading Hornella and Chanel before the dolls were cute with their kiddy schtick. Sorry, vicious kiddy schtick. Vania and Kelly meanwhile were perfection from start to finish giving dirty, gossiping housewives that had the energy of Detox and Tatianna, which is a smart choice on their part. Most importantly, they had everyone in stitches from start to finish. The Macarena y Pink Chadora had some strong reads, though kinda felt like they forgot about the challenge half way through and just started to yell at each other and let’s just say, everyone was awkward. Pitita and Visa closed the show and while they started strong, it derailed quickly and while they thought the fake out fight and storm out was cute, Pitita girl, you are in danger. So thankfully Clover closed the show strongly.

On the Peluca Palooza runway, Pink looked devilishly good in red. Ironically. Pitita gave pink Diana Ross realness and was absolute perfection, Bestiah looked like Club Kid Sulley, though stacked it and bled through what should have been a triumphant walk. Vania gave plait, plait, plait and looked camp and fun in equal measure. Hornella meanwhile gave full glam and full bush and damn, she really is overdue for a win because she hasn’t really faltered. Oh and Clover was lovely in lilac serving bearded anime icon while Pakita was drowning in all my hair that is stuck in the drain. 

The judges felt Pakita’s look was creative and different from what her sisters offered, however felt the comedy was not great. Bestiah was praised for playing to their strengths and selling their chemistry, and for looking stunning on the runway, despite the blood stains. Hornella was read for not maintaining the momentum of their solid start in the performance, though the judges agreed she was perfect on the runway. Vania and Kelly received universal praise for all that they did, maintaining the laughs from start to finish and for looking stunning on the runway. Pink meanwhile was read for having no chemistry or jokes, despite a beautiful runway while Pitita too was read for giving such an awkward performance. While they obviously loved her runway. Clover on the other hand received universal praise and ugh, I am so proud of her and glad that she got the chance to shine.

Backstage The Macarena felt bad about bringing Pink down in the challenge, while Visa was shocked that she and Pitita didn’t shine. Which the latter felt was a deliberate attack against her. Pakita meanwhile thought she was definitely in danger, though admitted she just hoped Maria  enjoyed herself, before the dolls congratulated Clover on a solid MC gig and for finally snatching her moment.

Ultimately Clover was sent to safety – robbed – before Vania and Kelly were deemed the winners of this week’s challenge, seeing zaddy Kelly skate her way right back into the competition like a damn icon. Pink learnt that she was one of the dolls lip syncing tonight before Hornella and Bestiah were sent to safety, leaving Pakita and Pitita to face off against Pink. And given Pakita was up against the two front runners, it was obvious she would be going home.

As soon as she sashayed away, I pulled her aside and pulled her in for a massive hug; grateful for not just being a stunning, sweet soul but also a sickening performer who truly belonged at the end of the competition. But alas, Drag Race producers love to both gag and goop in equal measure, and as such, we were robbed of her being a finalist. And instead, had to celebrate the only way I know, a gloriously rich pasta dish like Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs.

Not only is this dish gloriously comforting and delicious, but given that it is baked, it is super easy. Which as I get older, definitely becomes a priority. Sweet, rich and a little spicy, it is the perfect dish for the middle of the week or a glorious weekend meal.

Enjoy!

Bakitad Orzo and Meatballs
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp butter, melted 
2 tbsp olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced 
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp tomato paste 
400g tin diced tomatoes 
2 ½ cups chicken stock
500g orzo 
500g beef mince
250g pork mince
1 egg, beaten 
½ cup panko bread crumbs 
¼ cup fresh basil, roughly chopped
¼ cup flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped
1 tsp chilli flakes
½ tsp oregano
¼ tsp thyme
¼ tsp rosemary
3 cups spinach 
½ cup parmesan cheese

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the butter, oil, ½ of the grated garlic, ½ teaspoon of kosher salt, a good whack of pepper, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, 1 cup of the chicken stock and orzo in a casserole dish, stirring well. Cover with some foil and bake for 20 minutes. 

While that gets juicy, combine the minces, egg, bread crumbs, half of the basil, the remaining garlic, two teaspoons salt, chilli, oregano, thyme and rosemary in a large bowl. Once well combined, form into golf-ball sized balls and leave to rest on a plate.

Remove the orzo and stir through the remaining stock, basil, parsley and the spinach and parmesan, before dotting the balls on the top. Return to the oven to back for a further 20 minutes, or until cooked through

Serve immediately with some parmesan and fresh herbs, devouring like an icon.


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Chorizo and Nayshacken Alfredopez Pizza

Pizza, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars Ru kicked off the season, ominously announcing that there is a new twist. However, left the girls hanging for the rest of the episode. Not wanting to wait around to find out, Jimbo and Kandy quickly formed an alliance, looping in Heidi as they were all tour buddies. After a double-runway mini challenge, the dolls formed girl groups for their mainstage debut. While Jaymes didn’t nail the choreo, she proved herself a star, though it was Kahanna who proved to have the biggest glow up, snatching the first victory. On the flipside, Darienne couldn’t sell her lack of choreo while Monica got stuck in her nerves, leading to them landing in the bottom. Kahanna was gagged to learn that Aja was her lip sync assassin, who promptly slayed the game leaving the girls to send home poor Monica.

Though we learnt her departure also made her the first doll eligible to win the online Fame Games, where the eliminated queens compete for $50K for having the best unused look of the season.

Backstage the dolls were broken hearted as they read sweet Monica’s farewell message, though TBH, Kahanna could barely contain her joy at being seen by not just the judges but her sisters. She then pulled the lip stick out of her titty to share that she also would have sent Monica home. Jimbo then suggested Darienne should count the other girls’ lip sticks, discovering three people joined Monica to vote for Darienne. Kandy immediately copped to it, saying that Monica’s story broke her heart and as such, she was compelled to save her. Quickly leading to Lala and Jaymes using that same excuse. Alexis produced the girls to talk about the Fame Games, with Kandy just glad all the eliminated girls get to show off their looks after working so hard. While Mrs. Kasha Davis was just glad to have a back-up $50K, though Jaymes assured us she only cares about the main prize.

The next day the dolls were thrilled to be back for another week within Mama Ru’s womb, which is the Werk Room, if MKD is to be believed. Speaking of Ru, she dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be starring in the new sketch show RDR Live. Which yes, will be performed live on the mainstage. After Mama disappeared, the dolls sat down to read through the script and fight for their rolls. Alexis and Darienne fell into playing Jersey Girl Michelle fan-girls, Jessica and Jimbo calmly snatched the gardening hookers, before Naysha, Heidi and Lala fought over the two news anchor roles, with Naysha eventually calmly taking the leftover role. And while she told the girls she could shine in any role, she was also pissed.

Everyone split up to read through their scenes with Jaymes obviously starring – we saw The Bitch who Stole Christmas, after all – while Naysha was on the struggle bus. Thankfully Jaymes was a good sister, telling her to speed up the dialogue to keep the jokes flowing. Jessica and Jimbo were living their slutty best lives, while Darienne and Alexis were just eerily Jersey and perfect. Ru returned with the iconic Bobby Moynihan with Jessica and Jimbo essentially told they were hilarious perfection, whether they had been out of the Werk Room for 13 years or just one. Kahanna, Heidi and Lala were up next, with Kahanna triggered since she was first eliminated in an episode Bobby judged, while Heidi whistled her way through the kiki, so you know that is all it will take to delight Ru.

Elimination Day arrived with Jaymes opening up about how she used to dream of being on SNL, while Lala was just hoping for some acting challenge rudemption after bombing all of them on her OG season. Jimbo checked in on Naysha to see how she felt about taking the back-up role, with Kandy covertly turning talk to how they will vote. Once again she admitted to feeling bad for Monica, though kind of regrets her vote given she was definitely the worst in the challenge, while Naysha admitted she needs to feel excited about seeing you again if she wants to keep you around. Naysha then identified Heidi, Alexis and Jimbo as her biggest threats. While Kandy, on the other hand, said it is a shame Jimbo has to go home this week, though, as Jimbo giggled. Lala meanwhile pulled Heidi aside to float the idea of forming an alliance and well, you know she was soft, supple and keen.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by superstar Robin Thede as Jaymes, Naysha, Heidi and Lala kicked off the show and well, it is clear Jaymes is a star as she dominated everyone. Kandy was cute as the host while MKD owned every damn moment, but it was Jimbo and Jessica who got the most laughs. Specifically Jimbo who just plays horny bimbo so damn well. The news section was a bit of a bust – particularly Kahanna’s cat – though Heidi’s personality carried them through. While Darienne and Alexis were horrifically perfect from start to finish. As was Lala fake playing the saxophone, but only that.

On the Net Gala runway Naysha was stunning in a shimmering, black, punk netted gown, Jaymes was a bright, glam 60s delight with her hair, catch-ed in a net. Kandy served avant garde in tulle, MKD gave butterfly lady in a children’s fantasy movie, Jimbo went inter-net, as a robot influencer and ugh, it was GOOD. Jessica Wild was stun-ning as the apparatus that MKD was keeping her caught butterflies, Heidi gave rocker realness, Lala served only sex, Kahanna gave aquatic queen, in aqua, Darienne gave the sexiest basketball and Alexis was the belle of the ball in black and nude.

Kandy, MKD, Jessica, Lala, Darienne and Alexis were sent to safety before Naysha was praised for giving another stunning look, despite it being understated. While Michelle felt her timing was off in the challenge. Jaymes on the other hand was beloved for all that she did this week, then Jimbo got the same thing but just a little better. Heidi too was beloved for carrying the news section and giving such a bold fashion moment and growing from her first season, while poor Kahanna’s runway was beloved though she was read for being bland in the sketch. Ultimately it was Jimbo that took out her first win of the season while Naysha and Kahanna landed in the bottom two and were up for elimination. Which, duh, since they were the only ones with negative critiques.

Backstage the safe girls were thrilled to relax, while MKD opened up about how much fun she had in the challenge. Alexis and Kandy praised her for being such a star and radiating joy before Kandy praised our Jersey Girls for being ridiculous and fun. Talk turned to who they think will take the win with them unable to pick between Heidi and Jimbo, while they all agreed Naysha is in the bottom with Kahanna. Lala asked the dolls if they have ever considered getting bodywork done rather than padding, before Jessica changed the subject, admitting to having a little crush on Alexis. And gurl, you can do better. The tops and bottoms joined the fun, with Jimbo giddy to have taken out a win before the dolls focused on our poor bottoms. Kahanna was feeling triggered given she was eliminated in the second episode on her OG season, specifically in an acting challenge. 

As she went to sob, Naysha broke down with the girls before Jimbo pulled her aside to plead her case. She assured our Canadian icon that she is not done with the competition and she knows she has more to show. While Heidi got her potato titties out. Naysha rejoined the girls where she reiterated she has so much more to show and that she needs to stay in the competition. Kahanna meanwhile told Jimbo she knows she didn’t do a good job in the challenge, though she also knows it isn’t her time. Particularly with a win under her belt. Which she doubled down on with the girls, before sweet Heidi led the dolls in a toast

With that everyone voted, Jimbo burping through her confessional, before she took her place on the mainstage as Ru gagged and scalped her to reveal this week’s assassin is her UK vs the World sister, Pangina. And do you even need me to wait to confirm what we all know, Pangina won. Though let’s just say Jimbo still turned a show, in her own way, to Cyndi Lauper’s She Bop. Since the song is horny and so is she. But did I mention Pangina? She gave comedy, she gave tricks, she gave emotion and didn’t even appear to break a sweat as Ru crowned her the winner before she sent Naysha packing into the Fame Games.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug – those sweet zaddy shoulders – assuring her that while she only managed to survive two episodes, she still managed to show her growth in that time. And that she more than deserved her Miss Continental crown. Her make-up is flawless, her looks are always perfection and girl can turn a show, it is just, tragically, she got a bad run of challenges for her skill set. Which seemed to be all it took to cheer her up – I mean, it is only episode two but we have a front runner for the Fame Games, no? – though I’d argue my Chorizo and Nayshacken Alfredopez Pizza contributed too. (After apologising for cursing her).


The spicy chorizo and the creamy-cheesiness of the alfredo just go perfectly together, so by the time you pop them on a crunchy little pizza with some sweet chicken, well, you’re in heaven.

Enjoy!


Chorizo and Nayshacken Alfredopez Pizza
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
1 base as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
200g roast chicken breast, shredded
2 tbsp unsalted butter 
½ cup chicken stock 
½ cup thickened cream 
1 ⅓ cups parmesan, grated
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup mozzarella, grated
1 chorizo, cut into coins
Michelle Branch Dressing and chopped parsley, to serve

Method
Prep the base as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 200°C. 

Pop the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring, until melted. Whisk in the stock and cream and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes, or until it has started to thicken. Remove from the heat and whisk in the parmesan and half the mozzarella, before seasoning to taste.

Roll out the dough and spread with some of the alfredo sauce, followed by the chorizo, chicken, mozzarella and a little more alfredo. Transfer to the oven to bake for 20 minutes or so, or until golden and bubbling.

Remove from the oven and drizzle with the ranch and sprinkle with some parsley. Then serve and devour triumphantly, knowing you’ll always be a Miss Continental. Even if, like me, it is because of your passion for cuppa soup.


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Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España fresh off their first challenge – and first time surviving a first episode for The Macarena – Supremme tasked her newest queens with celebrating Eurovision. In a little geography based mini challenge, followed by an epic dance challenge. After The Macarena won the mini, she was given the power to select a rival team captain as the duos built their crews. Despite Clover doing that, it was Pink Cahdora that took out the ultimate win from Team The Macarena. Meanwhile Chuchi landed in the bottom two yet again after dedicating most of her time to helping her sisters in the challenge, before she was tragically sent home by Vania.

Backstage Vanie was giddy to have survived, though heartbroken it came at the cost of Chuchi’s place in the competition. While Hornella was just thrilled to still have her bestie around. And well, Vania too was busy focusing her rage against The Macarena anyway, more than ready to send her home ASAP. Before the revenge arc could commence, the dolls praised Pink Chadora for winning the challenge particularly since nobody actually felt she had a shot in hell. With Bestiah in particular pressed that someone that can not even dance managed to take out the dance challenge, which is relatable, but probably says more about how the judges see everyone else.

The next day the mood was once again perky and camp as the top eleven stomped their way back into the Werk Room celebrating Vania as their new Lip Sync Assassin. After another shout out to Chuchi, talk turned to how hard the judges were coming for them as Supremme warned them that they needed to serve more polish if they want to make it much further. While Chanel lol’d about Pink’s moustache and the fact Visa doesn’t tuck, though seductively suggested if she tried, she would have to tape it to her shoulder. Like Yvie. Insert Jinkx reflecting on life while snorting joke, which is a perfect reference for any and all situations, TBH.

Supremme made her return to put the dolls through their paces in this week’s maxi challenge, the big, bad ball! Which this year was Celebrating Spanish Culture. And for the final category, they would stomp in something they make using traditional regional costumes as their inspiration. And since Pink won the last challenge, she was given the power to assign them. She took the Salamanca suit for herself, Chanel got the Euskadi suit, Valencia for Pakita, Madrid went to Bestiah, Extremadura for Pitita, Aragon to Hornella, Asturias to Kelly, Canary Islands went to Visa and La Rioja to The Macarena, leaving the Flamenco for Clover and Pubilla to Vania. While the first two categories would be celebrations of colour and flavours of Spain.

With that Supremme bid them adios, leaving the dolls to rifle through supplies and come up with a plan for their third outfit. Clover appeared to be having a great time, emulating the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally while Bestiah was crapping herself. Vania meanwhile was thrilled to be playing within her wheelhouse, given she was so out of her element last week and now everyone else knows how she felt. Though Pitata was trying her best to help everyone, bless. Whether Chanel believed her intentions were pure or not. Kelly and Chanel were busy shading Pink Chadora for strategically allocating their inspiration, and while she denied it, she totally was being shady. As she should.

Supremme made a triumphant return to kiki with her daughters alongside Ana, with them loving Pink’s concept and the fact she was staying within her brand. Pitita served confidence in her skills and seemed to leave the judges wanting more, Clover meanwhile was nervous after Ana suggested making a negligee. Pakita meanwhile vowed to show off skin, whether it was appropriate for the region, assuring us that she was going to trust her instincts. The Macarena planned to serve wedding dress, using the anniversary of her father’s death to push her over the line. Visa on the other hand was thrilled to be celebrating her Mexican heritage through her look, particularly after Ana advised her on a few killer changes. Vania vowed to sell slutty icon queen of hearts, Bestiah talked around her nerves, focusing on making her aunt proud through her look. Kelly meanwhile was getting by with hot glue and a prayer and Hornella was just in her feels and hoping for the best.

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone exhausted after pulling an all nighter on their final looks, as Pakita suggested she was kept up by the hammering sound of sex among the girls. After nobody fessed up – despite Kelly’s awkward face – Visa admitted she was shocked by how difficult the challenge was, always assuming it just looked horrible on TV, but was actually fine. While Pitita whipped out a headlamp and confused the hell out of each and every one of them. Clover meanwhile was disappointed in her look – those damn flamenco ruffles – though vowed to sell it to avoid the lip sync. As the dolls split up to beat their mugs, Hornella checked in with The Macarena who opened up about being quiet since her return to the competition due to the fact she is in recovery and how the shame made it difficult for her to open up to others.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by Palomo Spain as Pakita opened the Colores runway in a stunning shade of green in honour of Carmina. Hornella was camp, lace-hatted patchwork perfection, Pink Chadora served white thistle glam, Vania was a shimmering red sun and Chanel served lamp, oil and curtains. The Macarena was a glamorous blooming bride, Clover was the sexier bride, paying homage to the Cuban flag, Pitita was a frilly, red delight, Kelly gave shimmering power politician, Visa stole the show as a sexy corn queen and Bestiah gave highlighter, transformer realness. 

When it came to the Sabores runway, Pakita gave a sexy fried egg dame, Hornella served shrimp realness with the coolest, camp wig I’ve ever seen, Pink served red wine – swoon – Vania gave a sexy Suzy Caramel, Chanel served sinner strawberry with an iconic cake wig reveal, The Macarena continued in the slutty ways, this time making it sea urchin. Clover meanwhile gave us glam honey coated nuts, Pitita gave burlesque croquettes before revealing a stunning calamari, Kelly served milk maid realness – which feels right – Visa served spicy chilli before Bestiah stole the category as a gorgeous Chupa Chupa headed sugary delight.

Closing out the show in their looks in honour of the Regiones, Pakita gave sexy mediaeval queen, Hornella was a fringed delight, Pink Chadora served ‘80s Madonna, though called it 90s. Vania meanwhile gave regal camp, Chanel gave Sailor Moon/Gem villain cosplay, The Macarena served grieving old widow, Clover was a power puff delight – spotted, frilled and perfect – before Pitita stole the show in a stunning, architectural look, though erred close to the source material. Kelly Roller also appeared to be inspired by ‘80s rock chicks, Visa was stunning draped in fabric, showing all the skin, before Bestiah closed the ball with an avant garde look which only further cements her as the frontrunner.

After thanking the dolls for stepping their pussies up, Supremme sent Pink, Vania, The Macarena, Visa and Hornella to safety before helping Pakita with all the praise for serving three, perfect, fully realised looks that were each oh so different. Chanel on the other hand was read for giving messy, ill fitting looks and well, it was as brutal as it sounds, and I would argue, nowhere near as bad as the judges made out. Pitita too was heaped with praise for all that she gave before Clover, for some reason, was read for not giving enough in the looks she brought from home and for giving no variety. Kelly was read for paying no attention to detail before Bestiah rounded out the top, thanked for giving perfection once again.

Backstage the safe girls were breathing a sigh of relief to have made it past the ball, with everyone quietly laughing about The Macarena questioning why she was safe. The tops and bottoms joined with the girls pointing out the win is definitely between Patitia and Pakita, while Bestiah was just gagged to be in the top yet again despite her lack of sewing skills. Kelly essentially treated the kiki as a farewell to the girls, knowing she will be lip syncing while Chanel was heartbroken to clearly be in the bottom with her, given she felt she gave something different each time.

Ultimately it was Pitita who took out the win as Pakita and Bestiah were sent to safety as lovely first and second alternates. At the other end of the pack Clover was rightly saved from the lip sync, leaving Kelly Roller and Chanel Anorex to battle to safety. To the Spanish language version of Christina Aguilera’s Genio Atrapado, so yeah, it was a bop AND a show. Chanel was flashing the dolls, Kelly was cartwheeling in skates and while it was messy, it was FUN. And as such, I was heartbroken that both the zaddies didn’t survive and poor Chanel Anorex was felled from the competition.

As she arrived backstage, I quickly pulled Chanel in for a massive hug and assured her that despite being an early out, she easily showcased how much of a sickening queen she is. And well, since she is hot, she will always be a robbed goddess, which is honestly the best you can hope for sometimes. While that didn’t immediately pull her out of her disappointment, after smashing some Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf, she quickly rallied, ready for her shot to return to the competition.


This glorious little fusion dish is one of those God-level mid-week meals. Quick and easy, yet hearty and warming, the spiced lamb pairs perfectly with the pilaf to perk up any and all bleak days.

Enjoy!


Chanel Persianorex Lamb and Lentil Pilaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
400g canned lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cauliflower head, cut into florets
1L chicken stock
300g basmati rice
500g lamb mince
2 tbsp Moroccan seasoning
salt and pepper, to taste
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup mint leaves, roughly chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds, toasted

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for about 5 minutes, or until soft. Add the rice and cook, stirring, for a further minute to coat. Slowly pour in the stock, cauliflower and lentils, and bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 10 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the liquid absorbed.

While that is cooking, heat a lug of oil in a skillet over medium heat and cook the lamb and Moroccan seasoning, breaking up lumps with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, or until cooked through. Remove from the heat and season.

Finally, combine the yoghurt and mint in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, divide the pilaf between four bowls, top with the lamb followed by a good dollop of minted yoghurt and a sprinkle of almonds. Then devour, like a zaddy.


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Instant Mariamen Edilia

Drag Race España, Drag Race España 3, Main, Snack, Soup, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race España 12 reinas nuevas arrived in the Werk Room, ready to prove that they and Supremme are the greatest international franchise. Starting with a stunning display of nudity on the first runway, courtesy of Marina. The dolls dazzled and delighted, with camp fun and a whole lot of heart – and drama, thanks to Marina and Juriji – before it was whittled down to just four. Well, three after Marina was eliminated in the final episode. Ultimately though, despite Marina starring in this here recap, it was Sharonne who dominated from start to finish and rightly landed herself the crown.

It is lights up in the Werk Room for another year, however, as Pink Chadora arrived looking like a floral bimbo queen and instantly I fell in love and saw a place for her in the Barbie movie, so fit her in please Margot! She was joined by Hornella Góngora who gave Jessica Rabbit realness in all the right ways. After they became the fastest of friends – bonding over Hornella’s papaya – Pakita arrived serving smut and sex as a fluffy devil and well, my basement is flooded and I am struggling to breathe. Bestiah rock’n’rolled her way into the competition looking like a cartoon high school baddie and again, I am in love. She was followed by Pitita serving old Hollywood glamour in a hard pivot, which I’ve come to love from España.

The fivesome’s kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Spanish Ginger Minj, Maria Edilia with an epically long entry line that won over my heart. Representing the Canary Islands this year was Drag Chuchi who served golden stilt realness and looked like he could choke me out of drag. So yeah, she is my new fave. Vania Vainilla arrived serving goth showgirl realness, but then Pitita explained her anus was closed for renovations and that information became more important than any new arrivals could ever be. Clover Bish became the second cis female to compete globally, looking like Adore Delano does Cher Horowitz and well, I love her. As does Pitita, busted anus or not. Channelling Trixie entering All Stars, Kelly Roller arrived serving roller Barbie and well, I live. Particularly seeing her out of drag, as once again, my basement is flooded.

Chanel Anorex was next to join the fray looking like the love child of a bull and the green goblin, but surprise surprise, was a zaddy out of drag, so I stan. Rounding out the cast was Mexico’s finest Visa arrived, serving ancient goddess realness and ugh, it was perfect. Wait, hang on, there is another doll this season as The Macarena returned for another shot at the crown which gagged everyone. Who were obviously super shady about having a repeater in the class. Before they could completely break The Macarena, Supremme arrived to welcome her newest girls. With a cheeky little roll around the hay mini challenge. Aka a photoshoot with each serving barnyard chic, based on the animal they pulled out of the zaddy pit crew’s sack. 

After getting into animal quick drag, the dolls joined the zaddies on set as Pitita gave the most demented rat, channelling the icon herself – and newest three timer – Jimbo. Kelly Roller buzzed her way into my heart as a rollerskating bee, The Macarena was an unhinged hen that would make Detox proud while Maria Edilia was an adorable, smutty little piggy. Clover gave hot cow, Chanel was a wild, junky boro, Bestiah bounded into our hearts as a bunny, Vania was a horny horse and wisely got the Pit Crew to ride her, so yeah, that is a win for me. Pink Chadora meanwhile was a glamour fly, before Visa gave party ladybug and Hornella served an even hornier cow than those that came before her. Chuchi meanwhile gave sexy sheep, wisely getting the Pit Crew involved too before Pakita stole my heart as she showed us just how hungry a wolf can be. Ultimately though there could only be one winner and that was rightly Hornella, because it was completely unhinged.

Before departing Supremme announced that for their first maxi challenge they would be throwing a little Talent Show! But more importantly, they all dedragged to flood my basement while checking in on how The Macarena feels to be back. And decide whether a single episode even gives her an upper hand. The Macarena meanwhile was busy bonding with Clover and Chuchi, with the old hands telling Clover to stand firm and know she belongs. Oh and then they all bonded over not getting laid without eyebrows, which makes me and my Eugene Levy’s feel really good right about now!

Dia de eliminacion arrived with everyone excited for their first challenge, while The Macarena was just hoping to avoid the bottom. Talk turned to everyone being talented singers, which made Pink nervous about it landing her in the bottom. They then pivoted to who they see as the biggest threat – already – as everyone agreed it was Pitita, while she in turn was nervous about Hornella. As they split up to beat their mugs, the dolls bonded over their partners with Pink Chadora thrilled to have sucked the same dick for 15 years. Like an icon.

Supremme, Ana y los Javis were joined by zaddy Paco Leon on the judges panel as Visa opened the Supremme Eleganza Talent Extravanganza with a killer, camp Mayan gymnastic act in ropes. She spun, she split, she sung, sha danced and it was amazing and I love her. Bestiah then calmly sat with her talent, playing the piano and singing and well, it was beautiful, lack of camp be damned! Wait, no, it turned it a punk rock performance with backup dancers rocking in like the monkeys in Wizard of Oz. It was wild and a bop and this is why España is my favourite franchise. Vania meanwhile gave boudoir glam as she taught tantric, complete with fire and rotating through the Pit Crew like magic. Or Khalessi’s power. Clover then listened to our lord and saviour Anetra and walked the fucking duck. And it was glorious.

Like the Pit Crew’s speedos.

Maria meanwhile served typing lip sync before getting with her boss and well, it made no sense which is why I kinda love it. Pink Chadora meanwhile sung an original song about farming, Bambi or global warming. Either way, there were dancing carrots and therefore, I love it. The Macarena served sexy Britney as she sang her original song, despite a missing key here or there. Pitita gave camp, mime, chic complete with snacks both food and in the form of sexy sailer back-up dancers. So again, I live. Drag Chuchi meanwhile served drama as she lip synced about Dia De Los Muertos before it too turned sexy. Hornella Góngora then sang Dancing on My Own as two zaddies danced live and made out. So yep, you guessed it, another win. 

Kelly Roller was thankfully on brand skating her way across stage as she lip synced looking ready to compete in the Hunger Games and while I live, that is mainly because she went off the stage. Sometimes on purpose. Pakita then gave an emotional performance singing before stripping off and pole dancing and well, I love it. Chanel Anorex then closed the show giving sexy snow beast before lip syncing to Cannibal as the back-up dancers coated her in red paint. So yep, I did stan it because it was amazing.

On the Spain is Different runway, Bestish was a glamour serrano ham, ready for battle in all the right ways. Hornella was a shimmering red Goya delight, Vania was a gaudy (in a good way) pink and purple puffy star and looked to be having the most fun possible. Pink Chadora was a ruffled, leather femme fatale, ready to take you as soon as you start something. Drag Chuchi gave disco ball comes disco diva, looking stunning in the process. And serving all the body. Chanel gave camp icon ready for a day at the races or fresh from an easter hat parade. Complete with high heeled crocs. Pitita gave us Alaska’s trashbag look, though upcycled with a tonne of cash. Maria gave camp, vamp ladybug, Pakita was the most camp, giving the sun and moon, dripping in tinsel like a glam car wash. Again, in a good way. Clover looked ready to sing cabaret at a rich fundraiser in a shimmering black gown, The Macarena served drama as she gave bleeding, murdered art before Visa served shimmering tower, into a chameleon and well it was batshit, so I love it. While Kelly walked the runway selling herself as an 80s theatre icon.

Vania, Pitita, Pink, Chanel, Clover and Visa were sent to safety before Bestiah received universal praise for her looks and for slaying the talent show. Hornella was praised for singing live and holding their attention, despite being pitchy. Chuchi was read for not giving enough Canary Islands in the talent show and for being hit and miss with her looks. Maria was read for messing up the sync of the lip sync of her talent show. Pakita received wall to wall praise for all the diverse things she showed this week. The Macarena was read for being pitchy throughout the performance, though was praised for fitting everything to her body. Despite the exposed corset. Kelly too was read for her nerves and the moment where she fell from the stage, despite them loving her runway.

Backstage the safe girls celebrated making it through another week, with Pink in particular happy to survive on something she was scared of. Clover meanwhile felt she and Visa were robbed of a place in the top, while the others were a little shocked it wasn’t Vania winning, though agreed out of the dolls left, it should be Bestiah snatching the first victory. The tops and bottoms soon joined them with Maria opening up about clearly being in the bottom, while The Macarena was concerned about history repeating itself. Chuchi on the other hand was proud of her performance, despite being read for it.

Ultimately the dolls proved to be right as Bestiah took out victory after Hornella, Pakita and Kelly were sent to safety. Despite her fears, The Macarena narrowly avoided the lip sync as she was sent to safety, leaving Maria and Chuchi to battle it out to Despechá by Rosalía and while I’d like to say it was a battle, it erred more on the side of a bloodbath as Chuchi stripped down to pasties – top and bottom – shaking and flipping all over stage completely nude. And well, maybe I am distracted by the flooded basement, but she rightly earned her safety as sweet Maria became the The Macarena of the season. Or is she, given Supremme’s cryptic video at the end? Dun, dun, DUN.

Despite whatever it is Supremme has planned for the eliminated dolls this season, I pulled Maria in for a massive hug as soon as she returned to the Werk Room. While we were tragically robbed of seeing everything she has to offer, I once again rolled out the platitude that first boots are always more memorable than early boots and as such, she is now as iconic as the future winner of the season. Plus, being the first boot doesn’t appear to have stopped Jaymes Mansfield from becoming an All Star now, does it? After that, she was feeling very pleased with herself and was thrilled to join me in toasting her speed run with a piping hot bowl of Instant Mariamen Edilia.

Like Tayce before me, 2 Minute Noodles are one of my favourite foods (of childhood, at least) and this little copycat is an elevation that warms your soul. Sweet, smooth and earthy, the miso broth adds the perfect kick for any mood.

Enjoy!

Instant Mariamen Edilia
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 tbsp miso paste
1L chicken stock
300g instant ramen
1 tbsp parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the miso paste and stock in a large saucepan over medium heat, and cook, stirring, until it comes to the boil. Reduce heat to low, add the noodles and simmer for a couple of minutes, say two, until they are soft and tender.

Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, stir and then devour. Joyously.


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Matt Borscharp

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Soup, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor 13 newbies were dumped on the islands of Samoa ready to do battle with 11 returnees to prove once and for all whether heroes or villains do it better. Nearly instantly Queen Jackie was violently dumped off a barrel in the first challenge, breaking her collarbone and ultimately medevaced from the game. Despite a warning at tribal council that George – who was also injured in the first challenge – may not return, they opted to continue with the vote and sent his only ally, the iconic Anjali Rao out of the game.

George ultimately did return however, with Shonee quickly pulling him into an alliance with her given she knew that as the only three time player on the beach, she needed another threat around as a buffer. Oh and she also found this season’s island bestie in Liz, and just like that Shiz was born. After losing yet another immunity challenge, Michael was felled for trying to target George. Stevie meanwhile was out for revenge against Shonee for blindsiding him on their first season, however when he was the target at the next tribal council, she redeemed herself in his eyes with a last minute flip to send Mimi out of the game.

Meanwhile over at the Heroes despite being the biggest threat as the sole winner in the cast, Hayley was feeling confident enough to throw the immunity challenge to get rid of Rogue because she was rude and abrasive. After losing the next immunity challenge, the Heroes were gagged to discover they’d be sending a mole over to the Villains tribe however when Sam said they were sending someone expendable, Gerry was less of a mole and more of a powerful tool for the Villains post swap. The Villains returned to their losing streak, running over the swing vote in Sarah before Fraser got caught in the crossfire of George and Simon’s feud in the most epic tribal council of all time.

When the Heroes returned to tribal council my love Benjamin idol-ed Queen Sharni out of the game before the swap arrived and kicked things into overdrive. Despite being outnumbered at the new Heroes, George and Shonee took control and blindsided Paige – ugh, hunting is yuck – before Jordie was felled back at the Villains despite having Shonee’s idol in his pocket. The Heroes then sent Benjamin from the game before Liz was able to mutiny to reunite Shiz before a feud between George and the girls led to Stevie tragically being booted. After the merge, the OG Villains and an assortment of friends took control, sending David from the game before Flick became our first Queen of the Jury. She was followed by her bestie Sam before queen, icon, legend Shonee was felled by George before she could get him, due to her being closer to Liz. Shaun and Hayley were the next Heroes to go, before George finally got to take out Simon and then opting to stick with the boys and take out Nina.

Jonathan threw in one final twist however with the tribe required to boot a juror with Matt and Gerry getting their way and sending Shonee out of the game due to her being a guaranteed vote for Liz. Which really should have been a warning to George that his goose was finally cooked, as they banded together with Liz to send him out of the game as our fourth place robbed goddess of the season.

At the final tribal council, Liz absolutely dominated her opponents and took ownership of the move Matt had pinned his entire argument on – getting rid of George – neutralising him in the eyes of the jury, and allowing our newest queen to take out the title unanimously, leaving Matt to finish as the co-runner-up with Gerry. As I said with Gerry, despite being shut out, Matt played a solid game and arguably did all he could to win as one of the few newbies left by the jury phase. Since George was clearly taking them to the end for an easy win. But alas, they cut him loose at the end (which was also Matt’s move, despite not having revenge attached) making Matt a lovely runner-up, with a hearty Matt Borscharp reward.

When I was little, the entire concept of borscht freaked me out, despite my passion for beetroot. I assume it had something to do with the fact I couldn’t figure out how to make cheese work with it, but that is a conversation for another time. As an adult, I finally tried borscht and fell in love with its rich, earthy perfection and the soup quickly found its place in my permanent rotation.

Enjoy!

Matt Borscharp
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
¼ cup olive oil
4 beetroot, peeled and grated
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup tomato paste
8 cups chicken stock
2 cups water
3 potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
400g can cannellini beans, rinsed
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp champagne vinegar
3 tbsp dill, finely chopped
kosher salt and ground pepper, to taste
sour cream, for dolloping

Method
Place a large stockpot over medium heat and add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, add the grated beetroot, celery, onion and garlic, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring infrequently, until they are soft and juicy. 

Add the tomato paste and cook for a minute or so, before stirring in chicken stock and water, followed by the potatoes and carrots. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until cooked through. Add the beans bay leaves, vinegar and dill with a good whack of salt and pepper, and simmer for another five minutes or until cooked through. 

Serve with a dollop of sour cream and devour, like a boss.


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Biryanina Twine

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Gerry was feeling betrayed after landing in isolation after George and Liz switched their votes from Simon, leaving him plenty of time to swap stories with Nina about their relevant final three deals with George. At the immunity challenge for four, Matt just snatched victory ahead of sweet Simon, who felt like his time would surely now be up. Back at camp George was ready to repeat the previous tribal and split the vote between Simon and Nina. Nina meanwhile was not interested in going down without a fight, trying to woo Matt and Gerry to her side to take out the king with Simon. Sadly though it was clear it didn’t work at tribal council as Gerry spoke George had been mentoring him before it finished on a tie between Nina and Simon, with our sweet, iconic bottom finally exiting the game.

The next day the final five were delighted to find a little breakfast treat with the warning that they will need all the energy they can to make it to the end of the game. While everyone smashed muffins and coffee, George appeared to be most excited by the bag of sugar. Matt meanwhile was all jacked up on caffeine and sugar, buzzing and feeling like he can finally think again. And by think, run around the camp screaming and belly flopping into the ocean. The fivesome then had a lovely moment together, bonding in the shallows and celebrating how far they have come. George and Gerry caught up privately, locking in going to the final three with Matt, while George spoke about being grateful to have found a lifelong friend in Gerry. But then ominously pointed out he would be happy to finish in fourth. Or third, or second. Meaning it is pretty clear Nina is next, right?

That afternoon the boys caught up to lock in their vote against Nina, as she hung in the hammock while Liz wandered around camp. She had finally realised that George’s relationship with the boys was becoming a massive threat to her game after the last tribal council, identifying Matt as her biggest physical threat and George as the most likely to win. Which again came infuriatingly too late. Trying to restore the jacuzzi alliance, Liz instead caught up with Nina by the shore and locked in the plan to vote out Matt should he not win immunity. Knowing that if she appeared positive it could prove a spoiler, Nina pretended to be disappointed as she caught up with her fellow former Heroes, leaving Liz to catch up with George and lock in the vote against Matt. You know, if he doesn’t win immunity.

Meaning it is very, very obvious that Matt is winning immunity.

The tribe met Jonathan by the beach for the final five immunity challenge where they would have to race to drop a ball in a shoot, race to collect it at the other end of a disc before walking over obstacles and collecting two more. Before then navigating them up an upright maze and into a hole, with the first to land them all taking out immunity. Nina and Liz took an early lead, with Liz powering ahead as Matt overtook Nina and worked to close the gap. While George and Gerry were stuck collecting their balls, with the former cursing it as a stupid challenge. Liz had a massive head start as she got to work on the maze before dropping, leaving enough time for Matt to join her. He too struggled, allowing Nina to join them followed by George as Gerry was still stuck on the first obstacle. Eventually Liz landed her first ball, followed closely by Nina. As George tried some wild tricks, Liz landed her second ball, making me realise how very wrong I was about Matt. As George magician-ed the ball to the top, Gerry joined the fray before Nina dropped her second ball as Liz powered through, landed her third and jagged herself immunity. Like a damn queen.

Back at camp the tribe quickly congratulated Liz on her victory before everyone scattered to work through plans for the upcoming tribal council. She sat by herself in the hammock, talking through all the scenarios by herself, knowing that trusting in Liz is kinda her last option and as such, she needs to be solid. Matt meanwhile checked in with George to see if he wanted to talk, with George assuring him that the only option is Nina tonight and as such, they need to load their votes on her and not worry. While Matt worried about Liz turning on them, George assured her she had no other options. Just as she and Nina caught up by the well to lock in their votes against Matt, while she worried about George’s growing closeness with Gerry. Liz caught up with George to tell him that voting out Matt is literally the only correct option moving forward, as George panicked about upsetting Gerry. Leading to Liz telling him to stop being soft and letting Gerry play into his emotions, and instead get cutthroat and play to win.

Which is energy I would have loved at any of the last four tribal councils.

Sadly for Liz, her pep talk actually triggered George, reminding him that he voted out his closest ally in fourth in his first season and that being cutthroat is what led to his loss. Which I would argue wasn’t the case, but it definitely didn’t help. Though he knew that by going to the final three with Matt and Gerry, he was essentially handing himself third. As such, he approached Nina to affirm that he would reignite the jacuzzi alliance. Matt then dropped by Nina, asking how she was feeling as Nina outlined that she, Liz and George were targeting Matt and while he knew she was trying anything to survive, he was very nervous. He then approached George and Liz to tell them what Nina said, leading to them vehemently denying it and ugh, I feel like it may be the thing that causes them to just vote her out.

Matt then approached Gerry to loop him in, with Gerry calmly telling him George knows he is playing for third with them, though he was happy to finish there. As Liz and George continued to bicker in the shelter, Liz pointed out he needs to stop being emotional and to just get rid of Matt. George then caught up with Nina, with her expertly telling him that she is voting Matt because that is the only plan anyone has given her and if he has a different one, she is willing to hear it. Sadly for her, as they spoke it became more and more clear that George will continue to be a swing vote until the very last moment.

At tribal council Nina spoke about how there is a high likelihood that she will be going home given she is literally the only person left from outside of the major alliance. While she has appealed to people to make a move, she feels like everyone is just holding on to their ticket to the finale and not letting go. Liz praised her for never giving up and always trying to find a way to survive, before talk turned to Matt’s challenge prowess, with George admitting it is a concern given he only makes it to the end if someone takes him. Liz praised him as her biggest challenge competitor, leading to Matt pointing out that Liz is also a huge physical threat, seemingly not realising she is immune so it literally doesn’t matter at this point.

George spoke to the fact he lost Brains Vs Brawn due to only focusing on strategy and not listening to his heart, though he intended to be guided by it this time to make it to the end. He then laid all ownership for building the minority alliance as Shonee looked on, enraged. Gerry tried to pretend their alliance had not had a leader with Jonathan hilariously pointing out that it completely contradicts what George just said. Gerry tried to double down, talking about everyone having a different moment to make the decisions, leading to an epic eye roll from Nina. She then spoke about how her perception is completely different and that is what matters when the power switches to the jury, as to her, Gerry has done nothing but do what he was told and tend to the fire. Essentially.

With that the tribe voted and two votes piled up on Matt and Nina before George proved to listen to his heart as Nina was tragically eliminated from the game. Meaning voting out a close ally cost him a win, as will likely keeping one. As Nina urged Liz to just not let George make it to the final tribal council.

As Nina arrived at the Jury Villa I congratulated her on becoming the first ever Twine to serve on a jury, which is literally all we’ve ever wanted from Sandra given she would give us the most iconic, sassy questions known to man. But that is all I said about her mama, as I pulled her in for a hug and praised her for playing such a strong game. While she and the Heroes may have botched it against Shonee and George – note who was put up front, for a reason – the fact that she managed to be the last one standing proves her impeccable skill at winning people over, gathering the right intel and making sure there was always someone that was a more pressing boot. So while I’m heartbroken we didn’t get the Twine Heroes Vs. Villains bookend we wanted, I am glad I could cheer her up with a Biryanina Twine.

This Indian classic – biryani – is one of those great dishes that are just as tasty as they are simple to make, meaning it quickly finds a permanent place in your rotation. Spicy and soothing, it is the perfect way to wash away the stress of the day. Or celebrate a win (or fifth place, in this case).

Enjoy!

Biryanina Twine
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 cup Greek yoghurt
¼ cup korma curry paste
600g chicken breasts, diced
2 tsp olive oil
1 onion, sliced
1 tbsp minced ginger
5 garlic cloves, minced
800g tin diced tomatoes
1 cinnamon stick
2 bay leaves
1 ½ cups basmati rice
1 ½ cups chicken stock
a handful of coriander leaves, roughly chopped, plus extra to serve

Method
Combine the yoghurt and korma paste in a bowl and stir through the chicken to coat. Cover with cling and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Once the chicken is well and truly marinated, heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and cook the onion for 5 minutes or until soft and golden. Add the ginger and garlic, and cook stirring for a couple of minutes before stirring in the tomatoes, cinnamon and bay, cooking for a few minutes.

Stir in the chicken and rice, followed by the stock. Bring to a boil before reducing heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes or so, or until the liquid is absorbed and rice, soft and tender. Stir through the coriander and remove from the heat. Before serving, with an extra sprinkle of coriander or a dollop of yoghurt and devouring. Greedily.


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Flick Paellmateer

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Main, Poultry, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor as the original Spice Girls decreed, two became one, as the Heroes and Villains came together to form a single tribe. With Simon once again all alone on the bottom. Flick was thrilled to reunite with her bestie Shaun and while she initially wanted to protect the Spice Girls as payback, she ultimately decided to stick Heroes strong after Shaun reminded them they have more than enough numbers to take over. Sadly for them, George roped in Hayley and his former nemesis Simon to take control. After David sketched out Liz by the well, she decided to play her idol for Shonee, though didn’t need to, as David himself was booted from the game. As Shonee whispered to George that Flick is finished and ugh, I have goosebumps.

Back at camp Matt pulled everyone together to admit that he was the one that flipped, with Hayley quickly jumping in to say that she also made the jump to make sure they both got the credit come final tribal council. As Sam and Co. tried to wrap their heads around things, they kept taking little shots at the OG Heroes with George and Shonee iconically telling him to stop undermining their decision to play for themselves. The new power alliance then opted for a trip to the hammock – since the Heroes wouldn’t let them use it the day before – where Matt giggled about being an evil vixen, while Simon was happy to finally have friends again and ugh, is nature healing? Because when Matt suggested they call their alliance the Vigilantes to steal Nina’s suggested tribe name, I almost flooded my basement.

While the four Heroes stood quietly in the dark and sulked.

The next day Shiz were talking about their disappointment that Flick broke the girl code, likening it to a messy breakup. As such, they pulled Flick aside to find out what they did to upset her and while she explained she was just trying to save herself the night before, it obviously meant nothing to them. Though while they accepted the apology, Shonee was still out for blood and if All Stars is anything to go by, Flick is in trouble. Sam, Nina and Shaun meanwhile were busy trying to figure out how to get out of the mess of their own making and while Sam suggested they need an idol, Shaun smartly mentioned they need another way. As such, they decided that Simon was their best option to flip again, so they put Flick to work on winning him back. Or somehow win four immunities for the upcoming tribal.

George, Simon and Matt caught up by the well, with George thanking Simon for putting their issues aside and working together and well, it was wholesome and I love it. Particularly since Simon finally feels like he has friends. Hang on, maybe I don’t love Simon because he still wants to work with Shaun. Given he has lingering uncertainty about whether he can trust the Spice Girls, he caught up with Sam and Flick to talk about how shocked he is to have an alliance while Sam tried to act like he was happy for him to have some power. With Simon reiterating he is ready to make moves at the right time and aligning with George proves he can bury the hatchet, which kinda gives them some hope without saying anything. And again, do I now love Simon?

The tribe joined Jonathan on a beach for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a barrel containing 40% of their body weight with the last one standing winning. After ten minutes, Shonee asked Shaun how much weight would be in his barrel before George dropped out of nowhere. While Shonee started to struggle, she managed to hold on another 25 minutes before she dropped out. As Shonee and George kikied about getting rid of Flick, the rest of the tribe clocked up an hour before JLP told everyone they had to drop down to only one hand, costing Nina, Gerry and Shaun straight away. Sam was next to go, followed by Flick as Shonee praised her allies for outlasting the Heroes. And while Liz started to celebrate, Shonee told her to cut out the funny business and focus. Matt and Simon then dropped out, leaving Hayley and Liz to face off with Hayley dropping out of nowhere after another 20 minutes, handing the Olympian immunity.

With Flick quickly jumping in to congratulate the girls on being so strong. Which will not save you babes, I’m sorry.

Back at camp George obviously called his allies aside for a pow wow as the 4 Heroes skulked off to the well to figure out if there was anything they could do. George assured the Vigilantes that the only way they don’t make it to the top seven, is if something goes catastrophically wrong. They locked Flick as the target and while Simon suggested they need to split the vote in case of an idol. Everyone explained that they don’t have the numbers to make it work, with George going on step further and pointing out he or Shonee would be the target anyway so let them take the risk. He assured us that while he still doesn’t trust Simon 100%, he will be watching him like a hawk. The Heroes went person to person trying to figure out who the target is in the hope of saving themselves with an idol, though the Vigilantes would not budge. As such, they decided to load their votes on Matt to spook him a little and not upset anyone in power, while Shaun awkwardly danced around having an idol in the hope of them finding a second one to save the group. Given he is holding on to his, to play at the right time to save himself.

While Flick spent hours hunting around the hidden idol, she gave up and decided she needed to at least talk to Simon about making a move on George. She reminded him that the Spice Girls are a solid four, meaning nine is the latest they can make a move to beat them. Shonee meanwhile was watching on, talking to Hayley about how Flick could easily convince Simon to make a move just for the sake of it. Thankfully though, he checked in with Hayley who was super reassuring, reminding him that they want to get rid of more of the alphas first before trying anything and as such, it makes sense to hold firm for now. Hayley was then pulled aside by Shaun, who tried to guilt her into sharing who the target was, with her expertly not budging or even offering assurance. Leading him to speculate to us whether it was a smart decision to actually play the idol for himself or Flick, given she is his number one.

At tribal council Sam spoke about how shocked he was after the previous tribal council, though also knew he couldn’t really do much, before throwing out that nothing that happened at the last tribal council changed anyone’s place for those that flipped. Which drew an audible gasp from George, who pointed out that they are now on the winning ship and that ship has set sail, whether the OG Heroes like it or not. Shaun tried to point out that he is just in a bit of a trough, but the game is all about peaks and valleys with Simon agreeing that his game has only been ups and downs, though he is glad to be working with George and being part of the conversation now.

George pointed out that you should never close the door on any options, or at least, that is how the Vigilantes roll. Which annoyed the hell out of Nina that the tribe name she suggested was co-opted for the alliance working against her. Flick tried to pretend she was swap screwed with George whispering about the fact she actually had a numbers advantage, so that’s a lie. While she doubled down on the fact she was upsetting someone either way she went, which Shonee called bullshit on given she was the one leading the charge against Shiz, which makes it all the more hurtful. Particularly since Liz was willing to use her idol to save her. This clearly got Shaun thinking about doing the same as Matt pointed out he was in the same situation as Flick at the previous tribal, though clearly made the right choice. And well, now one of Flick, Nina, Sam and Shaun are drowning and they don’t have a lifesaver on their side. Which feels extra savage and I love that for him.

With that the tribe voted before Shaun proved himself a little more selfish than the Villains – or well, Liz – as he held on to his idol as his closest ally Flick was shown the door. Though hey, at least she has now been the final juror and the Queen of the Jury in her Survivor career. As she arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her that while I am firmly team Shiz, I was rooting for her and love how effortlessly she plays the social game. Plus, she is sensible and not bitter, meaning we should be lucky enough to have a fair jury on our hands with no toxicity with her as the Queen. Leaving me nothing more to do than toast her success and her new reign with a piping hot bowl of Flick Paellmateer.

While I forgo any of the seafood additions which are commonly placed in a paella, this is still a smokey, salty delight. The rich, spiced tomato bathes the al dente rice, working with the sweet meats to warm your soul and wash away any disappointment.

Enjoy!

Flick Paellmateer
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil 
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 carrot, cut into rings
½ a bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves and stalks roughly chopped separately
500g chicken thighs, diced
250g chorizo, cut into rings
2 tsp hot smoked paprika 
1 capsicum, sliced
300g paella rice 
2 tbsp tomato purée 
3 cups chicken stock
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
100g peas 
1 lemon, for squeezin’ at the end

Method
Heat the oil in a dutch oven – or paella pan, ideally – over medium heat and add the onion, garlic and carrot. Cook for a couple of minutes before stirring in the parsley stalks, chicken, chorizo and paprika. Cook for another five minutes or so before stirring in the capsicum and cooking until soft and sweet. About five minutes.

Add the rice and tomato purée to the pan and stir for a couple of minutes, until the rice is coated in all the juices. Stir in the stock and a good whack of salt and pepper, bring to the boil and reduce heat to low to simmer for about 15 minutes. Once reduced, stir in the peas and cook for a further few minutes, or until cooked through.

Adjust seasoning and serve with a good sprinkle of parsley leaves and a squeeze of lemon juice, before devouring.


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Jaxfruit Tacos

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls learnt the Maxi Challenge – or should we say, Maxine Challenge – would see them star in the sequel to Daytona Wind. And while the first one was super fun, it was mostly due to the fact the dolls were gagged by the surprise gas. Despite having the power to assign the roles, Aura opted to give up the campy, lead role and take on a quieter part which she quickly proceeded to bomb. Though Luxx noted, she probably would have bombed any and all roles she had. Jax meanwhile was forgettable and missed all the Drag Race references as Mistress – who inherited the lead role – slayed the game and took out victory. Only narrowly though, over her nemesis Malaysia, as the duo played off each other perfectly. Ultimately Jax and Aura landed in the bottom and like Angela Bassett, Jax did the thing and took out the lip sync, as Aura joined the win to elim club.

Before cursing them to be haunted by the ghost of her father on her way out the door. Backstage Jax was obviously a little nervous about said curse, given she was ultimately the one that sent Aura out the door, though was glad to prove she is going to be very difficult for the girls to send home. After a brief moment celebrating Mistress’ win, Loosey turned the attention back to herself as she complained about only being safe. When it is what she deserved. But whatever. I prefer Spice’s delusion that she is entering her top era.

The next day Spice was still busy trotting around despite Ru and Michelle’s hate, while Loosey asked the girls without a win how angry they were. Which obviously led to all the girls eviscerating her for going full Milk and raging over being safe. Before she could spiral any further, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d all be lip syncing, in a battle royale LalaPaRuZa in full assassin drag. And by the end of the night, one of the dolls will be going home. They immediately split up to beat their mugs, with Mistress super confident knowing Spice, Loosey and Marcia are the easy marks, though admitted to fearing facing off against Sasha or Anetra. As she should, TBH.

We quickly pivoted to the Mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Ross took their places on the panel as the girls lined up to hear the rules. Which were super simple, given they just need to survive one of the eight lip syncs that were about to unfold. And Ru, Michelle and Ross’ coffee enema energy, which is always a highlight to me. Bruno entered the mainstage to toss his balls before selecting Malaysia as the first one to lip sync, meaning she was able to pick her opponent. Ultimately opting for Marcia. Which meant Marcia had the power to pick the song, going with Anitta’s Boys Don’t Cry. And while Malaysia was expecting to steamroll, Marcia had tricks up her sleeves, flipping around the stage and giving sass as she hit every lyric. And rightly took out the first victory, sending her back to safety while Malaysia would have to lip sync again in the next round.

Next up Bruno grabbed Loosey’s ball with her also picking the easy mark in Spice, with Spice selecting Joan Jett’s Do You Wanna Touch. Sweet Spice tried her darndest, bringing all the energy to the performance however Loosey’s choice proved wise as she took out victory and joined Marcia Cubed backstage. But yeah, make no mistake, the lip sync was boring. Bruno wheeled out his balls yet again, this time pulling out Luxx who opted to face Salina. Who in turn chose It’s All Coming Back to Me Now by my sweet Celine. Aka a song she does on the reg back home. And girl, it showed as while Luxx gave all the drama and emotion, it was definitely Salina’s show as she rightly entered the top nine and sent Luxx through to the next round.

Bruno’s balls decreed Mistress was next who chose Jax, feeling she was more likely to pick the song she wanted, Tell It To My Heart by the iconic Taylor Dayne. And despite Jax proving herself to be a bit of an assassin so far, it was Mistress who stole the show, serving reveals, comedy and drama and ugh, she was perfect. And lucky that the judges have already seen Jax’s tricks and flips twice already. As such, Mistress was deemed safe and Jax was forced to lip sync again. Which gagged the safe girls, before Mistress mocked Loosey for doing a shit job and just getting lucky with her opponent. Most importantly, the final round was an absolute battle royale as Anetra and Sasha faced off with the former picking I’m In Love With A Monster by Fifth Harmony. And holy shit, did mother Sasha and Anetra feed us. Every letter was hit, the dolls were on the beat, every flip and trick was perfection and gaggy and well, TBH, I feel like both of them should have been deemed safe. But sadly only Sasha was sent to safety, while Anetra was forced to lip sync again.

Bruno’s balls lined up Malaysia to kick things off again, this time going with the safest bet on stage in the form of Spice. And while Spice wisely chose Don’t Go Yet by Camila Cabello because Malaysia wouldn’t know the lyrics, neither did she. And well it was an adorable mess as they both tried to serve something, before Spice ultimately resorted to the conga. Which obviously led to Malaysia joining the safe girls. Where she promptly pretended she didn’t pick Marcia because she thought she could beat her. But more importantly, the last lip sync would be a throuple as the remaining dolls faced off to Vanessa Williams’ The Right Stuff. With Luxx proving that rage can take you far, as all three of the girls hit every lyric and absolutely dominated, but Luxx just clearly had more fire to stay which pushed her over the edge and sent her to safety.

Meaning Spice, Anetra and Jax took the stage assuming they would battle as a trio before Ru gagged them with a twist, courtesy of Bruno’s balls. You see, he would pull a queen’s name out of his sack and then that queen would get to choose which one of her sisters would be safe. And because Anetra doesn’t enjoy murdering puppies, she gagged the dolls by sending Spice to safety and opted to battle Jax in the final round. And while Jax vowed to make Anetra regret her choice, as soon as Finally by Cece Peniston started playing, it was clear Anetra is really one to be feared. She gave camp charms, sexy moves, hairography and all the attitude as she ran every phrase flipped over the stage before walking the duck all the way to safety, ultimately sending Jax home.

As I pulled Jax in for a hug backstage, I reminded her that a Lalaparuza also cost a lip sync assassin their spot last year – RIP Jasmine – meaning that she kinda, sorta did all she could to navigate the producer’s newest favourite storyline. I reminded her that despite being in the bottom twice in the season, she truly got the chance to shine. I mean, who will be able to forget her skipping with her hair? Not. Me. Plus to misquote Batman like Simon, it is always better to die a robbed goddess than live long enough to become a person production rigged the season for. Which was enough to cheer her up before she even saw the banquet of Jaxfruit Tacos.

I would argue that Mexican is the best cuisine, be it Tex Mex to the more traditional variety. And these jackfruit numbers are even better, since you can pretend they’re a healthy option. Spicy and smoky, the pulled pork-ness of the jackfruit melts in your mouth and makes you want more.

Enjoy!

Jaxfruit Tacos
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
800g canned jackfruit in brine, drained
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp ground coriander
1 ½ tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp cinnamon
400g canned diced tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 avocado, diced
1 tomato, diced
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 cup rice
1 ½ cup chicken stock
12 taco shells

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat and sweat the onions, stirring, for about five minutes or until soft and sweet. Add the garlic and cook for another minute before stirring in the jackfruit, breaking up with a wooden spoon to roughly shred it. Cook for a further couple of minutes before stirring in the cumin, oregano, half the chilli, coriander, one teaspoon of the paprika, the cinnamon, canned tomato and paste. Stir to combine and simmer for ten minutes, or until fragrant and reduced.

While that is simmering, combine the avocado, tomato and lime zest and juice in a bowl. Set aside. Next, pop the rice in a medium saucepan with the stock and remaining chilli and paprika. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and cook covered until all the liquid has absorbed. Remove from the heat and leave the lid on to allow it to steam a little. Finally, cook the taco shells in the oven for a few minutes, or until golden and crisp.

To serve, fill the tacos with rice, the jackfruit and avocado salsa – adding cheese and sour cream, if they are your jam – before devouring.


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Paige Donarred Greens

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor Stevie was grateful for Shiz saving him in the most chaotic tribal council of the season, while Jordie was left right out on the Villains. Though with Shiz secretly vowing to have his back. While Simon was Simon. Shonee meanwhile casually found herself a new piece of bling in the form of an idol, wisely keeping it a secret from even her closest of allies. At the immunity challenge George and Simon aired their dirty laundry to the Heroes before Shiz single handedly scored them immunity. Back at the Heroes, Gerry was fired up and ready to call them out for the way they handled sending him to the Villains, while Ben quickly realised it was him or Gerry going home. After finding the cookie non-idol, Ben used it as a clue to finding another idol on the Heroes beach, which he ultimately used to save himself, as he stitched up Sharni and swiftly got her booted from the game.

In no small part thanks to Paige’s lie that Sharni dropped the block, but whatevs, I’m not bitter.

Letting us know we’re in for a big episode, the tribes immediately joined with Jonathan in the middle of the jungle where they were delighted to discover an auction awaiting them. Psych, it wasn’t an auction though, as Jonathan unveiled the first covered item, new buffs, meaning they are finally switching! One by one they went up to select their new buffs with Nina going to the Villains, Ben sticking with the Heroes, Sam going to the Villains, Gerry sticking with the Heroes, alongside ally George before Liz found herself isolated on the Villains, as Shonee also landed on the Heroes. David added more beef to the Villains, alongside Shaun and Simon before Matt stuck with Heroes, Hayley went to Villains, Stevie went to Heroes and Jordie stuck with the Villains. Alongside his nemesis Simon and all his new alpha bros. While Flick and Paige were stuck on the Heroes tribe.

And while everyone laughed about the meat tray all landing together, George hilariously reminded them that meat heads normally suck at Survivor and as such, he isn’t concerned with the idiots. Basically.

But turns out, there was actually an auction too with each tribe getting $2500, with max bids set at $500. The catch being, the money would be shared amongst the tribe meaning some could win big and others end up with nothing. George quickly worked out that everyone then had $320 to spend, with Liz winning the first item, a cheeseburger and beer for $320. Ben jumped straight to $320 on a covered item which led Sam to jump to $360 for what he assumed was an advantage, but ultimately ended up being chocolate. Which honestly, I think makes more sense for him than a note. The next item was a scroll with Ben jumping straight up to $400 as Paige, shock horror, started to bitch to George about needing to vote Ben out ASAP. Oh and the scroll meant he scored an onion and while everyone laughed, Paige – again, shock – looked sour.

Paige then bid $400 on spag bol and red wine – I guess we can all go over $320 now – before Shaun bought it for $500. Flick then bought tacos and margs for $480 before Liz and Paige went into bat for Jordie and Matt bidding on a call from home, given they are both expecting children. While Jordie sweetly tried to step back and let Matt take the call for $200, Matt just as sweetly pointed out he is up to date with the scans and knows the baby is good and as such Jordie can have it to get his update as the two both burst into tears. As did I. While Paige told Matt he is such a good bloke. As Jordie spoke to Sam, he learnt they got the all clear from the doctors AND they found out they are having a boy and ugh, watching everyone cheer for him was so damn wholesome. As was him sobbing about how much he misses her. 

Matt tried to assure him he was crying happy tears for him which honestly broke me even more before George spent $320 on a covered item, which turned out to be a pass as the guest of Honour at a Survivor afternoon party with two of his friends. And while Ben tried to remind him it is a social game, he was loyal and stuck with Shiz as Paige, once again, looked saltier than the dead sea. While Jordie and Simon cautioned everyone that was a dangerous reward, particularly for someone like George.

The Spice Girls arrived at their epic reward, ready to devour everything in sight – including some leftover Sharlami Vinson, FYI – before George learnt he had just won $60,000 from Set for Life. They debated whether they should be checking for an advantage, with them agreeing to just wait until the end before Shonee straight up found an idol while smashing a party pie. Making it two in two episodes. Liz turned the talk to their new tribes, with George sharing that Flick told them Ben can’t be trusted while Liz was confident in all the strength she had on the new Villains, but knew that should they lose, she will be first on the chopping black. With Shonee assuring her that she will hand off the idol if she does lose an immunity. Since she should probs keep it as new Heroes is super weak comparatively and more likely to attend all the premerge tribal councils.

Back at the Heroes camp, Paige told Stevie that everyone helps out around at their camp before reiterating to Flick how much she wants to get rid of Ben ASAP. Given he allegedly twisted her words the previous night, which he didn’t. He told Flick that while she doesn’t trust George, she feels she could at least work with him for a couple of rounds, knowing they’ve split up the chance that he and Ben could potentially align. While Ben quietly worked nearby and oh god, I hope he heard. Also, as an aside, does it feel like a lot of the hate towards Ben comes from a place of casual homophobia? Because it is starting to feel like it. Though to be fair, I am super sensitive about that and may be finding reasons why my hero keeps getting called shady.

We checked in with the new Villains tribe where Hayley was thrilled by their surroundings, while Simon was more focused on how stacked their tribe is and thrilled to finally put an end to his losing streak. Knowing he no longer is the only person carrying the tribe through every challenge. Simon caught up with Shaun to fangirl over him, before Shaun admitted that he plans to use the Jeremy Collins meat shield strategy as Simon desperately tried to get pulled in. They returned to camp with Jordie overhearing him suck up and as such, he decided the only way to survive this mess is to blend in as best as possible, talking footy and copying Shauns’s fashion choices. And ugh, I love Jordie so much as this is hilarious, knowing he is quietly mocking them. Despite how well Simon was trying, the Heroes were still focused on sticking together with Shaun, Hayley, Nina and David locking in a plan to flush Simon’s idol ASAP and then pick off the original Villains. Because yeah, they can all see how desperately Simon was trying to win their love.

The new tribes reconnected for an epic immunity challenge where they would race to transport a tribe member locked in a cage through a tunnel, then a gate, up a huge ramp and then down into a pool before they unlocked said member and two people solved a puzzle. Because duh. Shonee and Hayley took their places in the cages, with the former loving the chance to have a little R&R during the challenge. Obviously the Villains got out to an early, massive lead, unlocking Hayley before the Heroes even made it to the ramp. Hayley and Nina got to work on the puzzle as Stevie cheered his tribe on before finally getting the chance to free Shonee and starting on the puzzle with George. A full circle moment, and I love it. While Hayley and Nina calmly worked through the colours, George started to bicker with Stevie about messing up his work. While Ben looked frustrated to be shut out of the puzzle before subbing out with George. That made the challenge exciting as the Heroes closed the gap as Hayley and Nina madly finished the puzzle and just snatched immunity for the Villains.

As the tribes hugged it out, David told Paige not to trust George whatever she does – like duh, is that really the most important message to share – which made her change her mind about targeting Ben as soon as she returned to camp. Well, after yelling at Stevie for trying to debrief too early and then yelling at everyone to get to work on fire and making some rice. Thankfully George is wise and instead got to work scrambling and locking in a plan of his own. Flick tried to lock him and Shonee in on a plan to get rid of Ben, floating that afterwards, they could align with Paige and Matt to run the tribe. Once Shonee and George were left alone, they laughed about how easy her plan would be to derail, given they are not going to just do what the OG Heroes want and instead will work with Gerry to get rid of one of the originals. And after finding God, they locked in Paige as their target given life is for living.

With that George and Shonee got to locking in a new majority, first pulling in Stevie to get rid of Paige and assured him that under no circumstances are they to tell Flick, Matt, Paige or Ben. George then floated the idea with Gerry, who was also very much on board given he wanted to mix things up. And admitted Paige can be hard work.

After locking in the 4-3-1 vote – given Ben’s is irrelevant at this point – and filling me with joy, Paige decided to ruin everything and pulled Flick and Matt aside to talk about getting rid of George instead, given the meat heads are too scared of him making the merge and told her to do it. Flick wisely cautioned them that they need to decide whether it is better to stay hero strong, or to get rid of Ben. Right on cue, Ben arrived who assured them all that the OG Heroes would be so proud of them if they managed to get rid of George. While Paige once again acted like Ben has given any reason not to trust him. He then pointed out that they need to try and woo Gerry to their side if they want it to work, with Ben offering to do it while Flick wisely suggested they should all try, given he hasn’t exactly felt the love from the original Heroes tribe. 

Up first, Ben pointed out that he and Gerry were both kind of on the bottom of the OG Heroes and as such, they need to make a decision that would save them in the long run. Gerry the icon told him he wasn’t willing to commit to anything yet, before all the Heroes obviously pulled him aside to take their shot. While Shonee quietly watched on as it all unfolded. Feeling confident, Paige went off to relax, while Shonee decided to act on the nervous energy; pulling George aside to warn him that something is afoot as the Heroes hung out, gleefully talking about taking out the King as Shonee assured us that while she doesn’t want to play the idol, if that is what it takes, she will.

At tribal council George and Shonee joked about being frequent flyers while Paige spoke about how it was too soon to deem any of the newbies heroic. Eyeroll. George spoke about this tribal council drawing a line in the sand and letting people know where they stand. Paige said that she doesn’t focus on goals when voting, given they all have the same – I mean, duh, but also WHAT? – while Flick spoke about how scary tribal council always is. Shonee brought some intelligent strategy to the table, telling JLP that if you have enough conversations, you can build trust and prove that you can add value to people’s games long term and meet those goals. Gerry meanwhile spoke about having loyalty to people, but he doesn’t know if he has it from others. And while trust takes forever to build, it can break just as quickly.

George felt like Gerry should be able to trust him and he hopes they are still friends, while Paige started whispering to Flick that she is sure they can get George out. Shonee meanwhile admitted she isn’t feeling as confident as George, while Matt spoke about being very nervous given the OG Heroes were whispering. Paige had a big shit eating grin talking about how confident she is that her conversations from the afternoon will hold firm. George meanwhile wanted tonight’s vote to bring a group of people together that will be able to run the game and make it to the end. Like a shared goal, even.

With that the tribe voted, Shonee wisely opted to play one of her idols on George as Paige looked ready to shit her pants, realising that her genius plan didn’t exactly account for an idol. As four votes piled up on George the cocky Heroes grew less and less confident as the rest came in on Paige, sending her out of the game in tears of rage. And ugh, it was GLORIOUS. As was Flick congratulating them as Shonee reminded her that the whispering tipped her off, given this is not her first rodeo.

Paige was still rather annoyed by the time she arrived at Loser Lodge and despite myself, I told her to hold her head high and be proud of the game she played. While her confidence and the paranoia of the game turned her quite bossy in the last few episodes, she started off strong, building a lot of trust with her allies and firmly placing her in the Heroes majority. Sadly though she was undone by two of the best at the game in George and Shonee, meaning she had to settle for some pre-merge comfort in the form of Paige Donarred Greens.

Given the off-screen drama that fueled Rogue to hate on Paige so much, it was kinda poetic that both of them ended up with vegetarian dishes. But when they taste as good and wholesome as this, it is hard to pass up. A little spicy with a hint of tang, this is the perfect side for a Sunday roast. Of ethically farmed meat, obvi.

Enjoy!

Paige Donarred Greens
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
6 cups collard greens (aka borekale), washed and dried, removed from the main stems and bruised
2 bay leaves
1L chicken stock
¼ cup lemon juice
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Place the oil in a large pot over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for about ten minutes or so, or until sweet and tender. Add the bay leaves and cook for another minute or so.

Slice the greens into 3cm thick ribbons and add to the pot along with the stock, juice, sugar and chilli. Bring to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring infrequently, for about  an hour or until the greens are gloriously soft and the liquid reduced. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper before devouring with your favourite roast. 

Or on its own, whatever.


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Pixie Poliaf

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 4, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls did a makeover on their dearest minders, the Queen Team. Oh and Ru was sick and skipped out on most of the episode. While everyone was perfectly paired – by accident, no less – results were a little more mixed. Danny was able to make her newest sister feel confident enough to don a beard while Cheddar and hers were having a while dripping in gold. At the other end of the pack, however, Pixie aged up her new sister badly. Oh and apparently Dakota’s perfect makeover and consistent branding wasn’t enough, as the judges placed her in the bottom with Pixie. Cheddar rightly took out the win before Michelle continued to glitch and booted Dakota.

Incorrectly.

Backstage everyone was gutted to lose sweet Dakota, none more so than Pixie who had to deal with the guilt of eliminating her. Cheddar meanwhile led the dolls in praising her for being so damn strong and making such a splash on the competition, while Danny assured Pixie that they are glad she stayed. Despite how terrible her outfit was. Pixie meanwhile was glad to have lip synced given she has been coasting and that moment in the bottom she was able to be shaken out of her head. As they sat down to kiki, Danny sobbed talking about how she felt like Dakota had much more to give and she felt like she didn’t even deserve to be in the bottom. Which is true, but I hate the fact it came at the expense of Jonbers feeling like she doesn’t think she is worthy. Because she is.

The next day everyone spoke about how surreal it is to make it to the top five, with Cheddar admitting that she is shocked to have made it this far given she wasn’t sure her drag would come across. Peppa obviously saw herself here, while everyone admitted that they thought Dakota would get there. This led to Pixie reiterating that she didn’t think Dakota should have been in the bottom, which again led to Jonbers getting frustrated and when Pixie continued to go in, Cheddar stepped in to assure her they just want to know more about the story she is telling.

Before things got physical, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be overacting in The Squirrel Games. A murder mystery set in the Big Mother house, overseen by a deranged squirrel. And as Cheddar won the last challenge, she would be casting the show before they acted with director – and Dakota robber – Miselle Visage. They sat down to read through the script with everyone excited by the range of iconic British reality stereotypes, while Pixie was laser focused on getting the lead hero role. Jonbers meanwhile wanted to play a dog given she dreamt it, Peppa went with the Bear Grylls character, Cheddar went with the vapid influencer, Danny got the Davina McCall role leaving Pixie with the easiest win, Kim Woodburne. Everyone split up to learn their lines with Danny concerned about Peppa and Jonbers bringing the group down, but damn were they having fun.

The dolls joined Michelle on set where Danny was a charming mess, unable to get her lines down, but well, you know she is going to slay so this is a fake out. Peppa was very loud and intense, Cheddar’s accent was less consistent than DK – aka Dorit Kemsley – while Jonbers just could not remember her dog’s name. While Pixie was doing a perfect character study, though struggled with light and shade. And her lines. So yeah, it was an absolute mess.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls split up to beat their mugs with Jonbers opening up about how much she is missing her family. Particularly since her family is super supportive, with her dad desperately pushing her to audition for the show. Cheddar too opened up about her supportive family and how her dad calls out homophobes on the reg, while Danny’s dad kinda took coming out, out of his hands, letting him know that he knew and will always love him. Pixie too is grateful for building a relationship with her dad the older she has gotten, while Peppa spoke about how much her chosen family mean to her and that they lift her up when her birth family don’t.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the stunning Lorraine Pascale as Danny opened the Ruff and Ready – aka ruffles – runway in a stunningly gaudy blue gown, Jonbers was perfection in a white and green fluffy number – complete with playing some sexy flute – while Cheddar was a gorgeous living pansy in honour of the pansy project, where pansies are planted at the sites of homophobic crimes. Peppa was stunning in a denim-does-Oz look and ugh, she is per. Fect. Pixie meanwhile was gorgeous as a slutty Elizabeth, which was bested only by Michelle’s queen puns. We then settled in for the premiere of The Squirrel Games and well it was better than the shoot would have us believe, but well, it wasn’t exactly stunning. Though watching Cheddar go full demented, vapid delight was an absolute joy to behold. As was Pixie’s Kimmy performance.

The judges lived for Danny’s character and how hard she went in, making Davina a wild caricature and obviously felt she looked gorgeous on the runway. Jonbers meanwhile was read for giving one note despite having two characters, though they lived for every single moment she served on the runway. Cheddar was praised for giving light and shade and slaying the acting, with the praise only getting better when it came to her beautiful look. And the story behind it. Peppa was read for screaming through the challenge despite everyone living for the depth she brought to the runway, while Pixie received universal praise for the performance despite the fact she didn’t bring herself to the character. And Michelle felt she didn’t bring enough ruffles to the runway, despite looking gorgeous.

Backstage Jonbers was thrilled by Ru calling her outfit one of the best of all times, particularly given it proved to the other dolls that she has a brand. Peppa too was happy with how they felt about her runway, despite knowing it will be her and Jonbers lip syncing tonight. Danny reiterated how much they all love Jonbers before Pixie praised her for serving stunning tonight, which led to Danny breaking down about feeling good looking. Pixie too was emotional about the fact Ru told her she was proud, while Cheddar was just thrilled to be having so much fun in the game. And well, is she starting to feel competitive? The dolls then received messages from home with us learning Jonbers brother is a total zaddy, Peppa’s loved one is also a zaddy and so is Danny’s partner. And that is the end of zaddy watch.

We returned to the mainstage where Danny was sent to safety before Cheddar took out her fourth win of the season – please don’t go the route of Bimini and Ella and be robbed, Cheds – before Pixie joined them, leaving Jonbers and Peppa to battle it out for safety to Some Kinda Rush by Booty Luv and well, it is was a show. Both the dolls had a fire within them, desperate to avoid missing out on the top four, hitting every lyric and giving tricks, hitting every line and flipping and splitting around the stage and well, I was glad to see Ru bring some sense back to the judges panel – who would have thought?! – as she saved both the dolls, leaving the top five to fight another day.

Backstage Jonbers and Peppa were on cloud nine, thrilled to have both made it through. And while Danny led the other girls in congratulating them for turning out the show, she was disappointed to have been beaten by Cheddar. Particularly since she felt her runway was superior. But well, she best be scared because now that Cheddar has her fourth badge she is hungry for the win.

The next day the top five were feeling deja-Ru to be starting another week as a fivesome (or do we just say orgy). Danny was feeling less bitter today, congratulating Cheddar on her win while the latter joked she is aware that she now has a massive target on her back. Before we could unpack any of that, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would need to participate in the General Erection where they will roast their opponents and the eliminated queens. Immediately filling Peppa with dread, even though they will be coached by Bafta winning comedian Aislin Bea. Though given she survived the week before, she and Jonbers were given the power to decide the order which could help her. If she plays it wisely.

As soon as Ru exited, Peppa and Jonbers pulled themselves aside to strategise the order with the former wanting to hide in the middle. Jonbers meanwhile didn’t want to put Pixie in the end and give her the chance to finish strong, given Pixie is very confident in her ability to roast. Cheddar meanwhile was terrified of the challenge, so told the girls that she would like to go early or in the middle. Danny just didn’t want to follow Pixie, who was reading the dolls and not charming them, which was a vibe. Ultimately the order was Danny, Jonbers, Peppa, Pixie and then Cheddar, with her positively ropeable given she felt her style will end things on a flat note. And well, things were well and truly tense in the Werk Room. And, well, work. One by one the dolls met with Aislin and well, she was an absolute delight, giving wonderful, smart advice and uplifting the dolls who were more nervous. I mean, even Peppa left rehearsal confident in herself!

Elimination Day arrived with Danny opening up about how nervous she is about the challenge, particularly given everyone expects her to do well. Cheddar agreed that the competition is terrifying and despite being successful, stepping outside of your comfort zone is risky and always fills her with fear. Peppa meanwhile was glad to surprise people while Pixie was looking forward to absolutely roasting everyone.

We ventured to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Olly Alexander for the General Erection Roast where Danny opened the show and absolutely demolished, going for Olly’s teeth and slaying Starlet’s lack of personality. Then she pivoted back to teeth, reading Peppa and Alan’s too, before casually destroying everyone. Completely. I mean, just give her the badge now. Jonbers followed and was an absolute delight, leaning into her drunk persona and joking about her gender reveal being a bomb scare because she is from Northern Ireland. I mean, she was delightful, charming and a ball of fun. Peppa destroyed Pixie’s messy makeover – and gurl, she was angry – but the jokes stopped there until she just told them to laugh whenever she wanted. 

I mean, at least she is a self-aware icon and her telling everyone to laugh at her bombing was adorbs.

Despite following such a mess, Pixie seemed to be even worse as she got into her head under the pressure of the expectation she would easily win. And ugh, it was hard to watch as she botched her jokes, lost her way and looked absolutely broken. Cheddar thankfully bought some energy back to the roast, leaning into a solid character and going with safe jokes. While it got a little derailed, she was charming and that saved things.

On the Pretty in Punk runway Danny continued her triumphant week in yellow tartan in honour of fucking gender and well, it was glorious. Jonbers gave showgirl punker, complete with giant safety pin through her front and well, I loved it. Peppa served sexy Beyond Thunderdome and it was a total slay, while Pixie served a punky Queen Liz and Cheddar closed the show looking classic punker, giving Sid Vicious Ts.

The judges rightly gave Danny universal praise for everything, from dominating the dolls in the challenge and giving all the Westwood glory on the runway. Jonbers too received only praise, particularly for playing it smart in the roast with the drunk character and for giving a killer look on the runway, despite Michelle not living for the wig. Peppa was praised for being so bad she was good and the fact she had everyone rooting for her, though they sure as hell lived for the runway given it was absolute perfection. Pixie was read for bombing the roast and not even mentioning Alan’s teeth with the stonehenge joke, though they liked the runway despite it swallowing her a little. Oh and then Cheddar was read for showing her first sign of weakness and playing it too intellectual, though her runway was deemed perfect.

Backstage the dolls kikied about the critiques, with Jonbers gagged to have landed in the top, while it was obvious Danny won. Cheddar felt the judges were fair with what they wanted, before reiterating that her going at the end was kinda bad for everyone. Particularly since she verbalised not wanting to go last. Pixie meanwhile was gutted to have bombed, with Danny assuring her that she would have done well if she just had a couple of laughs in the first 30 seconds to build momentum. While Peppa was just ready to send someone home. The eliminated queens dropped by to chat with Dakota talking about how funny they were, while Le Fil wanted them to go harder on her. Talk thankfully turned to Sminty’s iconic exit and how much Ru lived.

Obviously Danny took out victory with Jonbers joining her as safety, before Peppa was gagged to learn that she would be facing off against Pixie for safety. Meaning Cheddar earnt her spot in the finale, because, duh. As soon as Another One Bites the Dust began, Peppa was on fire and while Pixie also turned it, Peppa is Peppa and knows how to turn a show. And then poor Pixie literally stumbled mid-performance and while she recovered well and powered on, it wasn’t enough as she became the last person eliminated, sending Peppa through to the finale. 

Backstage I pulled Miss Polite in for a massive hug and praised her for doing such a killer job throughout the season. And more importantly, for not being too polite all season and for giving us some iconic moments. Speaking of which, while she only had one win, Pixie was consistently killer from the first week and while she had her stumbles, they really only happened when she got in her head, proving the inner saboteur is real. Real, but easily vanquished with a piping hot, herby Pixie Poliaf.

While pilaf is a basic kind of French side, it proves that sometimes classics are the best – right, Pixie? Gently spiced, full of herbs and a little sweet, pilaf pairs perfectly a French stew. Or TBH, devoured from the fridge at midnight (being mindful of the rice is poison situation, of course).

Enjoy!

Pixie Poliaf
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups long grain white rice
120g butter
1 onion, diced
1L chicken stock
1 bay leaf
2 tbsp fresh thyme leaves

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and pop the stock in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to a boil. 

In a dutch oven, heat the butter and saute the onions and rice for a few minutes, or until the rice becomes opaque. Slowly stir in the hot stock and bay leaf before covering and popping in the oven to braise for 20 minutes.

Once cooked, separate with a fork, stir through the thyme and remove the bay leaf. And then serve and immediately devour.


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