Bombe Alaska

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

After eight long, dramatic and highly entertaining weeks my close friend Alaska finished what she started in season 5 – aka All Stars 2, the prequel – and finally snatched the RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars crown and earn her place in the Drag Race Hall of Fame, playing rubik’s cube with Chad Michaels. Beating out my other dear friends Katya, Detox and Roxxxy.

So yes, Alaska’s tantrums over the final two episodes were pretty dislikable. Nay, really dislikable, but at the end of the day, Alaska came in to All Stars with a focus as steely as Chad Michaels’ in the first All Stars, dominated all but one time – landing her in the bottom for the first time in two seasons and setting the stage for the aforementioned meltdowns – and well and truly earned her crown.

From singing her way back into the competition, to a filthy turn as Mae West in Snatch Game, her sultry Eve, a demented Baby JJ before transforming into Lil Poundcake on the runway, a killer comedy performance and an absurd commercial, Alaska was at the top of the pack before stumbling welcoming another daughter – Hawaii – into the Thunderfuck family.

Thankfully she was able to take a step back before the final runway performance, calm down and finish on a strong point with her rap and live performance and long-ago written speech full of RPDR callbacks, cementing her place in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

Obviously when we got together for a culinary, coronation, catch-up I berated Alaska’s behaviour for about an hour before taking her in my arms and congratulating her on a job well. But that has always been the relationship Lasky and I had. You see we first met in West Hollywood while she was working at Fubar – I was trying to get Vandy to purchase the bar and make me a drag star and I started stalking her to steal her act, bit by bit.

While she caught me and we engaged in an epic on stage catfight inspired by Dynasty and ended with a microphone battle which would go on to inspire the speech scene in Bridesmaids, Alaska appreciated me for the trainwreck I was, took me under her wing and supported me to achieve my oft demented dreams.

Remembering that, I couldn’t bring myself to punish her any longer and got to work whipping up a victorious Bombe Alaska.

Was it really going to be anything else?

Bombe alaskas are something that can go really well, or really terrible – I mean, a shitty cake or a bad choice of ice cream flavour can truly spoil these majestic alien desserts from the planet Glamtron.

Wanting to avoid a major catastrophe and setting off another meltdown, I opted for a nutella inspired flavour with a delicate hazelnut cake, topped with chocolate ice cream baked under a suffocating blanket of meringue. It is, to put it simply, perfect.

Or a winner, baby. But let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a big mouthful of nut … ella? Enjoy!

Bombe Alaska
Makes: 6.

Ingredients
¼ cup hazelnut meal
¾ cup raw caster sugar, for the cake
½ cup flour
⅓ cup cornflour
6 eggs, 3 whole plus three separated, at room temperature
3 large egg yolks, at room temperature
¾ tsp sea salt, plus extra for meringue
1 tbsp almond extract
¾ cup vegetable oil
1 ½ cups chocolate ice cream
½ cup sugar, for the meringue

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the hazelnuts in a bowl with a third of the sugar, and sift in the flour and cornstarch. Set aside.

Meanwhile, whisk the whole eggs with the yolks, remaining sugar, salt and almond extract in an electric mixer on high speed until thick, pale and holding a thick ribbon when the whisk is lifted. Ten minutes should be more than enough, though anusthing is possible depending on the mixer you’re using.

Remove from the mixture, gently fold through the flour and oil until just combined. Pour the mixture into a lined 20-25cm cake tin and place on the middle rack of the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and a metal skewer comes out clean. Remove from tin and place on a wire rack to cool completely.

Once completely chill, cut out six pieces of cake the size of the base of a mug using a cookie cutter, place each in a texan muffin tin that you’ve lined with cling wrap and divide the ice cream amongst each cup. Wrap the cling over the top and transfer to the freezer for about an hour.

When they are almost ready to come out, whisk the egg whites with a pinch of salt using an electric mixer on high, until soft peaks form. Still beating, slowly add in the meringue sugar and beat until stiff and glossy.

When you’ve formed stiff peaks, remove the cake / ice cream from the freezer, place on a lined baking sheet and mound the meringue over each, sealing in the ice cream and cake completely. Return to the freezer for an hour.

Preheat the oven to 225°C.

Once the meringue is frozen, remove and allow to rest for ten minutes before baking in the oven for a couple of minutes (no more than five), until the meringue is golden brown.

Devour, victoriously.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Fokatya

Baking, Bread, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Side, Snack, TV Recap

In the words of my dearly departed friend Nat King Cole, smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by, knowing that despite finishing as the co-first alternate / runner-up with Detox after Roxxxy was eliminated, my dear, sweet friend Katya was the true winner of All Stars. Just sans crown.

But what high class hooker wants a crown, anyway?

Like Detox, Katya had a consistently good run to the finale – minus the back-to-back stints in the bottom which was production’s fault for giving her a dud character and the fact it was a bottom three rather than two, respectively – and more importantly had grown since her first season and was able to work through the crippling anxiety that plagued her last time.

The true hooker with a heart of gold – take that Julia ‘I love my life, Denzel Washington’ Roberts – Katya was our last, great hope to topple Rolaskatox headed into the finale after the brutal second cut of Alyssa Edwards.

While Alaska was heading into the final with the best track record – despite an epic, EPIC series of meltdowns making me question my support – Katya truly shone in the finale by announcing that she would have sent Roxxxy home … again, before performing a killer Russian rap, her stage-smashing pussy moves (try to grab that one Trump) and an emotional speech as to why she should win, which started in Katya’s signature Russian accent and finished up with Brian proudly talking about finding his confidence and himself.

Despite being crowned as the co-first alternate – Katya, you’re the true winner baby. She worked through her issues, showed her growth between seasons and firmed up / expanded her fandom (see: pointless social media voting for the winner where is had more votes that the clique did combined).

Obviously after such a positive experience, Katya wasn’t feeling disappointed when we sat down for a post-race catch-up. I first met Katya while studying at Massachusetts College of Art and Design where we bonded over a love of gymnastics, she performing and me watching men in lycra and have enjoyed an extremely close friendship ever since. So while she wasn’t disappointed by her experience, I knew she would still want to share a big old comforting Fokatya.

Not being one to choose, this focaccia is an orgy of flavours that work together to deliver a meal worthy of an All Star Supergroup. Like Seduction.

And I mean, why choose one flavour when the pillowy dough can support them all?

Enjoy!

Fokatya
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
Dough
500g bread flour, plus extra for dusting
sea salt
7g dried yeast
2 tsp raw caster sugar
300ml water, lukewarm

Onion and taleggio
extra virgin olive oil
2 onions, finely sliced
a few sprigs of fresh thyme, leaves picked
balsamic vinegar, to taste
handful taleggio, broken up

Bruschetta
½ bunch fresh basil, leaves picked
1 handful ripe cherry tomatoes, quartered
salt and pepper, to taste
extra virgin olive oil, to taste
champagne vinegar, to taste
2 cloves garlic, minced

Three cheese
50g Taleggio cheese
50g goat’s feta
50g Parmesan cheese, grated
1 sprig rosemary, leaves picked

Pumpkin and feta
100g pumpkin, diced and roasted with oil, salt and pepper for twenty minutes at 180°C
50g goat’s feta
a couple of leaves of sage, sliced
½ tsp chilli flakes

Method
Combine the flour and salt in a large bowl. In a jug, add the yeast and sugar to the lukewarm water, combine and allow to rest for about ten minutes or until foamy and glorious.

Slowly pour the yeast water into the flour, stirring as you go. Once it comes together, remove to a floured surface and knead for about five minutes until smooth to work through your rage that Katya couldn’t take the crown.

Oil a large bowl, add the dough ball, dust with flour, cover and move to a warm place to prove for an hour.

Preheat oven to 200°C.

While the dough is proving, get cracking on the toppings. And by that, fry the onions with a good lug of olive in a large saucepan over low heat for ten minutes. Add the thyme leaves and balsamic and cook for a further two minutes, or until the liquid is reduced. Remove from the heat and allow to cool.

Cut up the tomatoes and basil, combined them in a bowl with salt and pepper, a quick lug of olive oil, a dash of champagne vinegar and garlic.

And obviously I told you to bake the pumpkin up top in the ingredients, so get to that now if you forgot.

Anyway, the focaccia should have well and truly proven itself by now, like Katya, so remove it from the bowl, pound it like a pussy on the stage during the splits and spread it out of a lined baking tray until it is a couple of centimetres thick.

Bash it with your fingertips to form a sea of holes, cover a quarter of the focaccia with each of the toppings, allowing them to blur over to each other.

Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle some sea salt, allow to prove why Katya was the true winner for a further 20 minutes and then bake for about half an hour, or until golden on top and soft in the middle. Devour and relish the orgy of flavours in your mouth.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Detoxitos

Main, Party Food, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Snack, TV Recap

While Ru went back on her word and stepped in to eliminate Roxxxy just before the final lip sync, there was never any doubt that Detox would make her way to the top three after a season spent slaying the runway and invoking Roger whenever he was out of drag.

I mean, sure she ended up in the bottom during Snatch Game but she wasn’t to know that Nancy Grace was a cursed Snatch character and probably would have dominated if she could have done Roger.

Plus, she truly wound up in the bottom three to fill out the numbers if we’re being honest.

So picking back up in the finale, Detox dominated the rap portion of the final challenge, killed the podcast despite a Rolaskatox mention from Ru, almost broke her neck dancing on the chairs and looked absolutely beautiful – again – on the final runway.

Her true winning moment of the finale though, was being the voice of everyone during Alaska’s first and second tantrums, the latter where she compared Katya to Jinx and inferred that she would only lose if Detox and Roxxxy brought her down again.

Sadly though, that was her only winning moment of the finale finishing as one of the co-runners up behind … well we’ll get to that tomorrow, shall we!

Obviously it is disappointing to get so close to the crown, Detox took her co-first alternate status with her usual wit and charm, as we reconnected (we didn’t meet in the porn scene but at the same time, we didn’t not meet in the porn scene), gabbed about the season – the arseholes were out, literally – co-wrote a dossier on why Nancy Grace should never appear on Snatch Game ever again and ate our weight in celebratory Detoxitos.

As I often say, I am terrified of frying so these are a baked alternative to the classic fried Mexican favourite … but don’t hold that against them. Like Detox, these little babies can pack a punch with minimal effort. Smoky, hot and all at once delicate and bold, these taquitos are my second favourite way to eat rolled meat.

Enjoy!

Detoxitos
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
800g chicken breast, cut into a small dice
1 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, peeled, crushed, and minced
200g chipotles in adobo sauce, blitzed in a food processor until the chillies are roughly chopped
300ml sour cream
1 red capsicum, diced
2 cups corn kernels, thawed if frozen
3 cups vintage cheddar, grated
1 tsp cumin
1 teaspoon chilli powder
handful of coriander, roughly chopped
salt and pepper
24 flour tortillas
olive oil, for brushing
salsa, guacamole and extra sour cream, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Heat a lug of oil in a medium pan over medium heat and cook the chicken, stirring, for five to ten minutes, or until browned. Add the onion and garlic and cook for a further five minutes.

Remove from the heat, add the chipotle and adobo, sour cream, capsicum, corn, onion, cheese, spices, herbs and a good whack of salt and pepper, and stir to combine.

Take out the tortillas, place about two tablespoons of mixture close to one of the edges, tightly roll and place on a baking sheet, seam down. Repeat the process until done, place them close together to try and keep them all rolled.

Brush lightly with oil and bake for 20 minutes, or until crisped on the top.

Serve, generously covered in sour cream, guac and salsa – of the Struthers variety if you have the time … which I clearly did not – and devour.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Chicken Fricaxxxy Andrews

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, TV Recap

Previously on All Stars, Ru brought Coco out of the home to compete again – she is going to die soon, so she wanted to make her happy – Raven Symoné broke Adore’s heart and in turn, Adore broke ours, a thankful Tati couldn’t make lightning strike twice during Snatch Game, Ginger was eliminated after Katya was given a shitty character in Princess Di, Alyssa do-wa’d her way out … before ruturning for ruvenge with Tati and eliminating editing victim Phi².

Then -laskatox commenced carrying Roxxxy by ru-eliminating Tati and Alyssa, despite Roxxxy’s long stint on the bottom and Alaska’s very dislikable tantrum and attempted bribery. Completely shocking poor Ru.

The queens ruturned to the work room for the last time where Katya once again confessed to Roxxxy that she would have sent her home, had she won the lip sync, poor Roxxxy had to defend her performance and Detox called out Alaska’s shitty behaviour to which she gave a an equally shitty apology.

To quote Tati, choices. Maybe we are going to see Katya snatch the krown?

The next day, Michelle arrived to deliver the final challenge – to form an All Stars Supergroup to rival the late, great Seduction. You thought it took two to make a thing go right? Nope, four … or three and poor Roxxxy who doesn’t really count rapping amongst her core skills.

Despite such a strong start to the season, Roxxxy hasn’t risen to the top like she did during Monsoon Season but she did win me over with her new found attitude and kindness. So when Ru did what -laskatox couldn’t – despite saying she wouldn’t be eliminating queens this season – and told Roxxxy Andrews to sashay away, I was happy to be able to comfort her finally end our years long feud.

Obviously I met her at the busstop and took an immediate dislike when she was collected and I wasn’t, despite the fact it started my journey to imposing myself on rich, Hollywood women like Zsa’s and Vandy for guidance.

While Roxxxy could have been upset to be cut just before the final lip sync, she was almost jubilant by the time we caught up for some Fricaxxxy Andrews. Maybe because she was one of the true winners of the season, getting her rudemption and winning our collective hearts.

I mean, hey, it wasn’t her fault her friends kept saving her.

Like Roxxxy 2.0, my fricassee is warm, loving and enriches the soul. I mean, it probably won’t be winning any culinary crowns but it is definitely not the kind of thing to land you in the bottom … over and over and over again.

Simple, honest and delicious – enjoy!

Chicken Fricaxxxy Andrews
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
3 tbsp plain flour
4 chicken thighs, bones and skin intact
4 chicken drumsticks
2 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, thinly sliced
2 carrots, peeled, thickly sliced
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
200g mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
½ cup white wine
3 cups chicken stock
1 tbsp fresh tarragon leaves, plus sprigs to garnish
½ cup thickened cream
1 tbsp lemon juice
thick – and juicy – fresh, crusty bread, to serve/sop up the liquid … or mashed potato. Just make it something comforting

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine the flour in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Add the chicken, toss to coat and transfer to a plate.

Heat a lug of oil in a large, heavy-based, oven/flameproof casserole dish over medium heat. Add the chicken a couple of pieces at a time and cook for a couple of minutes each side, or until browned. Transfer to a plate and repeat until done.

Once the chicken is down, add the onion, carrot and celery to the (thick and) juicy pot and cook, stirring for about five minutes, or until softened. Add the mushrooms and garlic and cook for a further five minutes.

Return the chicken to the pot, being mindful of not adding in too much extra liquid lest you want it to look a bit oily, like mine. Crank the heat to high, add the wine. When it is almost all absorbed/evaporated, add the stock and bring it to the boil.

When it is going crazy, remove from the heat, cover and transfer to the oven to bake for an hour or so, uncovering for the last fifteen minutes.

Once cooked, transfer the chicken to a plate, cover and keep warm.

Return the pot to a medium heat on the stove and continue to cook the sauce until it has reduced slightly. You may not need to do this if it reduced enough in the oven, use your judgement.

Once reduced, turn the heat to low and stir through the cream and tarragon and cook for a further five minutes, or until the sauce has thickened back up slightly. Add lemon juice, season, remove from the heat and devour with bread or mashed potatoes … in honour of our rudeemed, thick and juicy queen.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Strudalyssa Edwards

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets

Previously on All Stars the queens had to make on-brand products and commercials, with Alaska and Katya landing in the top while Roxxxy remained most on brand by landing in the bottom and being saved by her friends over a more deserving queen.

Yep, Alaska chose to eliminate Tatianna over Roxxxy. Again.

We landed back in the work room where Alaska’s edit took over from Phi² and commenced crumbling by having an attitude with Katya – who for the record, would have sent Roxxxy home – and then dancing around, toppling over the edge of confidence and landing face first into cocky and obnoxious.

Then she opted to admit she would eliminate threats if given the chance, making Roxxxy’s survival start to make sense.

Thankfully Ru arrived the next day to distract me from my Alaskan wine induced rage to announce that this week the queens would each be making over a family member on the main stage.

We then learnt that it was the anniversary of Detox’s father’s passing a week back, then Alyssa and her sister got together to discuss that the next day – the day of their mainstage performance – is the anniversary of their mother’s death, who was an inspiration for Alyssa.

So yes, my wine rage quickly turned into heartbreak and tears.

Oh yeah, then Roxxxy’s grandma/mother who rescued him after he was abandoned at the bus stop happened. It was fucking emotional.

Then the Anastasia of Anastasia Beverly Hills arrived to give them a brow tutorial.

After a short break to vogue the house down – flooding Michelle’s basement in the process – the queens and their family walked the runway, with Detox and her sister looking stunning and Katya and her mother dominating as a Russian mail-order bride and her peasant mother … landing Alaska, Alyssa and Roxxxy in the bottom. For the first, second and fifth times.

The queens then returned to the workroom to deliberate where Alaska proceeded to have an epic meltdown, ending with Katya’s killer Adore Delano dig callback from the the start of the episode, Detox questioning Alaska’s behaviour while she tried to bribe Detox into saving her.

It wasn’t pretty. At all.

Thankfully for Alaska – and maybe Detox’s bank account – Detox won the lipsync and saved the Rolaska- part of their clique name and sent poor, sweet, lovely fourth alternate Alyssa back back back back back out of the competition again and for another visit to my kitchen.

Despite the drama surrounding her second exit, Alyssa was still the upbeat queen we know and love … but maybe that had to do with the fact she had more rolls to fall back on, in the form of my Strudalyssa Edwards.

Like the head of the Haus of Edwards, my strudel is sweet, warm, completely delicious and bulging with delight. At the back. Rolls.

RIP – again – sweet Alyssa. Condragulations Katya, for when you pull a Jinx 2.0.

Enjoy!

Strudalyssa Edwards
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
3 tbsp soft raisins
1 lemon, zested and juiced
50g unsalted butter
800g granny smith apples, peeled, cored and diced
100ml water
100g caster sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ cup arrowroot
3 sheets puff pastry, thawed
milk, to glaze

Method
Combine the raisins and lemon zest and juice in a small bowl, hell a mug even … not one that you’d beat though, ok?

Anyway, melt the butter in a large pan over medium heat and add the apples frying for a couple of minutes until coated. Add the water and sugar, and simmer, stirring, for about ten minutes or until soft, yet holding their shape. Remove from the heat, and stir through the raisins, juice/zest, cinnamon and arrowroot. Cover, set aside and allow to cool completely.

While things are getting as frosty as the internet’s opinion of Rolaskatox, preheat the oven to 180°C.

Lay all of the sheets of pastry on a bench, split the apple filling amongst the pastry, covering half of each sheet, fold the pastry in on itself and roll the edges in to seal, place on a lined baking sheet and brush with milk to glaze.

Place in the oven and bake until golden, puffed and crisp – about half an hour. Serve warm with custard and devour.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Tatibanana Fritters

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Snack, Sweets

Previously on All Stars, the eliminated queens returned for their ruvenge, where Roxxy, Coco and Phi² struggled through a comedy show before the latter’s reign of – all in the edit – terror finally came to an end after Tatianna and Alyssa officially came back, back, back, back, back again and both chose to eliminate her from the competition.

In the words of Alaska, ouch.

The queens returned to the workroom to not buy Phi²’s message and comprehend the fact they went from the top five, to top six. Thankfully Ru didn’t give them much time to mull it over, joining the girls for a round of Butt Butt Golf which, let’s be honest, had no more smutty puns than any Survivor challenge lorded over by Jeff Probst.

After their brief round on the green, the Queens were then charged with inventing merchandise inspired by their brand and film a commercial to sell it.

Obviously Roxxxy struggled, as well, she has spent most of the competition on the bottom – living the dream, really – Alyssa was selling her go-go juice, Tati went for a tea set, Detox a trash talkin’ trash can, Katya – much to the disappointment of Marcus Lemonis – sold a crisis control mist and Alaska fashion tape.

Despite it being a new week and a new challenge, does anyone else have a sense of deja vu? Once again, Alaska and Katya landed in the top thanks to their killer commercials, Roxxxy and Tatianna were in the bottom two – thank you – Alaska won the lip sync and sent Tatianna and her killer T-Boz impersonation home … when it should have been Roxxxy. Choices.

Stay safe Katya and Alyssa – Rolaskatox appears to have reformed!

In an effort to mix it up, I did decide to cook a second meal for Tati’s second elimination but forwent my Tortellianna and instead whipped up some sweet Tatibanana Fritters because fuck knows you need something sweet after becoming the first person in drag race herstory to be eliminated thrice. And choices. You always need choices.

Like Tati these little babies are sweet, a little bit naughty and have a deceptive firmness inside the delicate exterior which always makes me excited.

Enjoy!

Tatibanana Fritters
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
100g flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1 egg
150ml milk
4 bananas, cut in half and then two-three pieces
lug of vegetable oil, for frying
maple syrup and ice cream, to serve

Method
Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk the egg and milk together in a measuring jug. Make a well in the flour and mix until batter is smooth.

Heat the oil in a large pan – obviously I don’t deep fry them as I am scared and just use enough to make them crisp.

Dip the bananas in the batter, place in the pan a few at a time and fry until golden, flipping only one. Remove and transfer to a paper towel to drain and repeat until the banana is done.

Serve with a generous amount of ice cream and some maple syrup. Devour.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Alyssausage Edwards Rolls

Main, Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, Snack

Previously on All Stars, the Queens performed a lip sync extravaganza where Alyssa finally took out a challenge after such a strong start to the season and sent Ginger Minj home, despite the perception that Katya performed the weakest.

We opened back up in the work room where Alyssa was being questioned about her decision and surprisingly gave a logical, coherent argument about Katya being the more consistent performer of the bottom two.

Obviously the mean old editors then spliced together 100s of Phi2’s grabs to make it sound like she was openly angry with Alyssa and berating Katya for staying. Damn that pesky edit making her look like a bitch!

The next day they returned to the work room where Phi2 continued her failed rudemption tour while Katya and Alyssa were sick of the shit and instead focused on the future and name checked one of my exes, the delightful Rigor Morris.

Alyssa knows it is rigor mortis, guys!

This week’s challenge was to star in parody drag shequels to Ru’s favourite films, Showgirls, Thelma & Louise and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? giving us the majesty of ~~demon spawn~~ Phi2 as Elizabeth Berkley and Alaska as Bette Davis who outshone poor Alyssa in her second turn as Joan Crawford.

More importantly, Roxxy – who is successfully completing her rudemption tour – gave us this year’s version of sequinsed in shaw, which I’ve already forgotten what she was referring to.

If Alaska’s Baby JJ wasn’t already enough to secure her the win, she used the double trouble runway theme to bring back a live action version of Lil’ Pound Cake. To which I say just give her the damn crown and send her to the other side with Chad, may she rest in peace.

Sash. Roxxy couldn’t say sash.

Anyway, after papping her mammaries Alyssa wound up in the bottom three with Roxxy and Katya, before life imitated shequel art and Alyssa was given the order to sashay away from Alaska.

Thankfully we ended with a cliffhanger with all of the eliminated queens waiting behind a mirror for revenge … while listening to Phi2 bitch about Alyssa.

As you know, I’ve know Alyssa and Coco for years after trawling the pageant circuit together. While I was the reason Alyssa was robbed of her crown and caused their feud, Alyssa is too sweet to hold a grudge and we’ve remained close ever since. It probably helped that Coco inherited the crown and not me.

Oh and my killer – and Alyssa’s true secret – Alyssausage Edwards (back) Rolls didn’t hurt my case.

Like Alyssa, these babies are packed to the brim with joy, love and a little kick. Oh and so many rolls.

Oh and congratulations on your Emmy Ru – we love you!

Alyssausage Edwards Rolls
Serves: 16.

Ingredients
4 sheets ready rolled puff pastry
500g beef mince
500g sausage mince
1 onion, diced
1 carrot, grated
3 cloves garlic, crushed
¼ cup finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
½ cup fresh breadcrumbs
1 ½ tablespoons tomato sauce
¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon milk
1 egg

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and thaw the puff pastry.

Combine the minces, onion, carrot, garlic, parsley, breadcrumbs and sauces with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Whisk the milk and egg together in a jug.

Lay the pastry out on the bench, slice each in half so you have 8 rectangles. Divide the mince amongst the strips, down one of the long sides, shaping into a long sausage. Brush the other side of the pastry with the egg wash and roll the pastry over on itself to enclose the filling, finishing seam side down.

Cut each strip in two and place on a lined baking tray. Brush each with the egg mixture and bake for 30 minutes, or until golden and cooked through.

Maybe don’t burn the bottoms like I did – you never want to burn a good bottom!

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Wet Ginger Minj

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

Previously on All Stars, we got to experience the joys of Snatch Game after Adore quit the competition after some tough feedback. While Alaska and Katya both excelled, Roxxxy and Tatianna floundered and ended up in the bottom three with my dear Detox before Tatianna sashayed away to the revenge holding pen where Coco is still dancing in her nighty.

After heading back to the work room, we learnt – thankfully – that Tati was screwed no matter who won the lip sync before Alyssa highlighted that she would be absolutely fucked if this was an accounting competition. She also proved that having Katya do my tax isn’t the worst option.

Oh and Phi Phi continued to show that just because you want to rehab your image, doesn’t mean that you will. In the words of Alyssa, log-off, delete the account.

They ruturned to the work room to get this week’s challenge – stealing the show during a lip sync extravaganza of powerful women through herstory. So yep, Alyssa was finally going to win a challenge, right?

Obviously, yes – Alyssa’s Annie Oakley was the breakout of the challenge – but let’s be honest this was set up for her to win – and landing herself in the top two with Detox after Phi Phi played mind games with the girls when she should have been rehearsing.

Luckily for her it didn’t cost her the competition as Ginge and Katya landing in the bottom two. While Ginge performed better in this week’s challenge, I would argue that Katya was screwed by getting allocated the worst character, so defend Alyssa’s decision to send home Ginge despite the girl’s agreement to follow the judges critiques.

Which I obviously did not share with Ginge.

Despite the fact that we’re exes – we were each other’s starter marriage after meeting at a Danny DeVito look alike contest – we have remained close, which for me is completely surprising given my love for revenge. I guess it is the fact we’re both old and grumpy, so even if we aren’t holding a grudge, we are holding a grudge.

Our brief marriage was filled with the highest highs and the most vitriolic fights I’ve ever been involved in – verbally speaking, my fight club with the Knowles-Z’s is defintely the most physically taxing – but at the end of the day we could always be reunited by our favourite drink – a wet ginger minj.

I could literally list off a million things I’d rather have in my mouth than a wet minj, but when you add in a little bit of ginge, it is hard to say no. Spicy and sweet, this quenches your thirst even if minj isn’t something that would normally flood your basement.

And yes, this is just a moscow mule – from Katya with love. Enjoy!

Wet Ginger Minj
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
Ice
¼ cup vodka
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
½ cup ginger beer
1 lime wedge

Method
Like all of my drinks, this is a toughie.

Fill the glass with ice, add the vodka, lime juice and ginger beer, stir, garnish and drink.

Good luck mastering that.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Tortellianna

Main, Pasta, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

After all the feels we went through with Adore at the start of this week’s episode, the rest of the show is going to be all sunshine and snatch-tastic hilarity, right? No.

Well, yes frankly … but often for all the wrong reasons.

Going into Snatch Game, we had two former snatch champions – in Tati and a pitch perfect Ginge as Adele – and a couple of very strong performers whom were overshadowed by greatness in Alaska and Katya. And then well, all the rest who really had some rudemption to seek.

Come on Ginge’s Adele is 100% what Adele is actually like, we all know it!

Anyway, Phi Phi opted to end her chance of an image overhaul in episode two by mind fucking our previous champ Roxxxy into changing from a very easy character in Sophia Vergara to one of the funniest queens in the competition in Ms. Thunderfuck 5000.

Despite a very spirited performance by Alyssa backrolls-look-how-fucking-orange-you-look Edwards, Snatch game belonged to Alaska and Katya proving that they had well and truly returned to snatch – pun, for once, not intended – the crown.

Why Detox didn’t do Roger from American Dad is beyond me and makes me sad of the untapped potential. Detox – please do Rog in RuPaul’s Drag Race: Third Lap’s The Charm, ok?

Oh and can we get an amen/halleloo for the snatch game contestants?

After a sickening runway of latex which seemed aimed directly at helping Detox and Alaska – who can blame them – Katya once again stole the show in a synchronised swimming outfit and ended up in the top two with the forty-ninth state.

As she had warned previously, Katya had returned to become a fucking monster and proceeded to lord her power over the bottom three – Detox and last week’s top two – with sage questions, such as why do you want to be America’s Next Top Model?

Can we just give her the crown now?

After a fitting lip sync to Le Freak, Palin’s home claimed the win and opted to send home the only non-member of Rolaskatox.

Tatianna despite being heartbroken to be going home so early, was so thankful – obviously – to have been invited back and to share her growth.

She was obviously also majorly excited to share a bowl of my comforting Tortellianna.

Silky, smooth and packing are punch – this tortellini is full of flavour, from the meat stuck in the pillowy dough, to the warm, salty, creamy liquid covering it.

All the things you want in and around your mouth – enjoy!

Tortellianna
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
3 cloves garlic, crushed
¼ cup parmesan, grated plus extra to garnish
pinch of freshly parsley, finely chopped plus extra to garnish
60 gow gee wrappers
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp butter
300g button mushrooms, sliced
200g bacon, rind removed, finely chopped
1 tbsp plain flour
300ml cream
½ cup milk
salt and pepper

Method
In a large bowl, thoroughly combine the chicken mince, garlic, parmesan, parsley and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Grab your gow gee wrappers, a pastry brush and a half-filled mug of water. Spoon out a large teaspoon of mixture into the centre of each gow gee wrapper, lightly brush the edges with water and fold the pastry in half leaving you with a filled semi-circle. Take the two edges and turn them into to each other and press together. Hate my terrible description? Follow these images instead. This is what nice people would do. I am not nice, clearly.

Once they’re all ready, get a big pot of salted water boiling over high heat. When bubbling madly, add the pasta and cook for five-ten minutes, or until they are all floating. If you’re paranoid like me, break one of the fatter ones open to check if it is cooked through. If done, drain, if still a bit pink, keep going.

While that is happening, heat the butter and oil in a large frying pan over medium heat until it is hot and foamy. Add the bacon and cook for about five minutes, or until crisp. Add the mushrooms and cook for a further five minutes.

Reduce the heat, sprinkle the flour over the bacon and mushrooms and stir well. Remove from the heat and stir through the milk and cream until well combined. Return to the heat, bring to the boil, season and remove from the heat. Again.

Add the sauce to the drain pasta, stirring thoroughly over low heat for a minute or so before serving immediately drowned in parmesan cheese and a sprinkle of extra parsley.

Devour.

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Adorzo Delano

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

So last week’s drag race had it all – hilarious throwbacks, Katya being Katya, Michelle being Michelle, Adore being Adore and getting torn a new one, Adore feeling like she doesn’t belong, Roxxxy turning over a new leaf and talking her into staying, and poor little ~~old~~ Coco sashaying away from the competition, a place in the drag race hall of fame and of course a ~~sickening~~ one year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills.

After returning from the last challenge, Roxxxy laments the horror that comes with winning challenges when you’re attempting (and currently succeeded) an image makeover. While poor Adore was still reeling from Michelle’s – and I love her but – aggressive feedback at the last panel.

Thankfully Ru was on hand to ruveal that Snatch Game – everyone’s favourite country breakfast – was ready and upon us. As Ru wandering the room though, it was clear that all was not well with Adore who broke down in tears.

Ru being Ru, went straight into mawma mode and tried to counsel Ads through it – you just know my reaction would have been akin to Alyssa’s Joan – Adore was adamant that it was too hard working with queens that didn’t understand her aesthetic.

With Ru’s pleas unable to make an impact, even dear sweet – in private – Michelle can out to comfort Adore and assure that he critiques were not personal and she was sorry for taking it too far.

Michelle. Apologised. On camera.

Despite hell freezing over, Adore knew that she couldn’t stick it out so opted to one-up Ru’s game-changing, queens eliminating each other twist and chose to eliminate herself from the competition. Lucky I was busy lurking around set entertaining the Pit Crew and was able to catch her right after her fellow Queens had tried to convince her to shantay and stay, and whip her up a nice comforting Adorzo Delano.

After the emotional torment that Michelle had put her through, I knew that she needed something comforting, soul affirming and sickeningly rich. There are brussels sprouts though, so it is healthy.

Join me tomorrow as I catch-up with Tatianna post elimination and say – what else – thank you.

Enjoy!

Adorzo Delano
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
extra virgin olive oil
300g pancetta, roughly diced
300g brussels sprouts, topped – well bottomed, whichever you prefer to call it – and quartered
3 garlic cloves, minced
500g orzo (aka risoni)
5 cups boiling water
salt and pepper, to taste
30g soft unsalted butter
¼ cup grated parmesan

Method
Heat a good lug of oil in a large frying pan over high heat and cook the pancetta, stirring semi-constantly, until golden and crisp. Add the brussels sprout and garlic, and fry for a minute or so, or until bright and fragrant.

Add the pasta, stirring through the pink and green majesty before adding the boiling water, and a good whack of salt and pepper. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, for ten minutes. If you need to add more water, do so – trust your gut.

Remove from the heat, stir through the butter and parmesan, season again if you need to balance the flavours and devour, sprinkled in extra parmesan. Cheese cures all sadness, ok?

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

	Coffee and tea or be… on Taratin Reid
	Patrick Boltontufo… on JL Salkeld Caramel
	Patrick Boltontufo… on Cophie Clarke Ice Cream
	Patrick Boltontufo… on Jericroquettes Malabonga
	Patrick Boltontufo… on Luke Toquinoa Bowl

Fame Hungry

Procrasti-baking with our faux-lebrity friends

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars

Bombe Alaska

Fokatya

Detoxitos

Chicken Fricaxxxy Andrews

Strudalyssa Edwards

Tatibanana Fritters

Wet Ginger Minj

Tortellianna

Adorzo Delano