Melta Carajomenta

Baking, Dessert, Drag Race España, Drag Race España 2, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race España the dolls got creampied by the Pit Crew before they were tasked with a little improv. In the form of starring as guests on Putricia’s Diario for the Maxi Challenge. While Samantha’s look was iconic, her performance didn’t go anywhere while Jota was overwhelmed by her sisters. In her performance, Venedita stole the show from start to finish and rightfully took out the win. Poor Jota landed in the bottom with lip sync veteran Samantha Ballentines, and rightly chose to focus on the emotion of the song which was key to saving herself as Samantha sashayed away.

Backstage the dolls were in their feels, while Jota was just glad to survive and ok that Samantha had gone given she wasn’t exactly thriving in the competition. That being said, she and Estrella were definitely going to miss her motherly ways and all that they have learnt  from her in such a short amount of time. Though Estrella was thrilled to not be in a house with her and Macarena, given they both finished in tenth place and it is clearly cursed. Everyone gathered around to swap stories about Samantha before Estrella went on a shady rampage, telling the dolls that Jota should not have even lip synced and explained why Onyx was far worse. Before a fight broke out, the dolls congratulated Venedita on a well deserved win and all appeared to be forgotten.

The next day Estrella confronted Marina for trying to take her farting crown from her which led to Marina trying to explain her fight with Juriji to the other girls and well, nobody seemed interested at all. Though they did end up making up so I guess that is a win? Before Diamente could act on her desire to mount Onyx, Supremme dropped by with the Javiers to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, they would be putting on a little rusical, Holy Drag Camp! Which is a riff on the Javiers’ Goya winning film Holy Camp, inspired by their stage show Holy Camp. So yeah, this is los Javis inception moment. And I am horny for it.

Supremme bid the dolls adieu before the Javiers gathered them to lock in the roles, with Drag Sethlas and Diamante fighting for the same role before Sethlas pulled a Camden and realised she could slay another role and bounced out. Marina meanwhile was ready to take the lead role, Onyx was cast as a painting while Sharonne was typecast as the old queen. Oh and then Estrella and Jota also fought for a role, until Estrella auditioned and made Jota shit her pants about living up to the performance. And as such, she quickly opted to take the last free role.

The queens quickly joined Carlos Marco on the Mainstage to record their songs with the quartet of muses – Vendetta, Drag Sethlas, Juriji and Jota – mostly knocking it out of the park. Drag Sethlas was demented and hilarious, Sharon hit EVERY note, Estrella was delightful and cute, Onyx was awks, Marina seemed sedated and Diamante was very energetic. When it came to rehearsal, Sharonen and Estrella were clearly the stars while Onyx and Diamante were kinda just there. Oh and the muses were a mess.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone feeling the pressure of the upcoming opening and closing night of their rusical. Well, except for Diamante, who was more focused on getting spit roasted by the Javis. Which is super relatable. She then did a hard pivot, opening up to Juriji about her difficulties growing up and how she struggled fitting in as an immigrant and ugh, they are so damn sweet I can’t handle it.

Supremme, Ana and Los Javis were joined by La Prohibidia on the judges panel for the debut performance of Holy Drag Camp! The muses opened the show in the most demented way possible, with Jurij’s voice knocking it out of the park while Sethlas was hilarious. While Marina felt a bit flat, Diamante did her best to pull her through the show before Sharonne and Estrella arrived and lifted the energy. They were stupid, fun and oh so delightful. Onyx meanwhile was just there, but given the role, I’m not sure what else she could have done anyway. Wait, then Marina got a solo number and well, she can sing and really leaned into the emotion of her role and ended up slaying.

After watching the entire rusical, uncut, the dolls stomped the Two looks in One runway where Juriji was a disco Marie Antoinette. Onyx cracked out of a space egg and into a glamorous alien, Venedita was a rainbow troll that transitioned into full glamour before Jota went from a tree to Botticelli, however said reveal took an ever to do and ended up super awkward. Sharonne went from a white bird to a metallic phoenix, Drag Sethlas went from baby to doll to bride and well, she stole the runway. Particularly after she added her fourth sexy honeymoon look. Diamante served Kinder Surprise realness, Marina was inspired by Priscilla, going from dancing queen to a supermodel and Estrella was show stopping as she cycled through the iconic looks of Marilyn Monroe and well, it was a good week for Estrella.

Ultimately Jota, Onyx, Sharonne, Marina, Estrella and Juriji were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week. After Sethlas, Venedita and Diamante exited to untuck, Juriji was read for getting lost in the rusical whenever she wasn’t singing. Though everyone admitted that they loved her runway. Juriji broke down as she opened up about never feeling good enough which led to an epic pep talk from the judges and ugh, I love them. Onyx was read for being there in the rusical and for only doing one look on the reveal runway. Jota was read for revealing too soon on the runway and kinda botching it, and for struggling with her lines in the rusical. Once again, Sharonne received universal praise for everything she served this week, while the judges absolutely lived for Marina dominating week. That being said, their love for the duo was nothing compared to Estrella who was universally beloved and then she had everyone in tears as she thanked Javier Calvo for giving her a gay man to look up to on TV and ugh, now I’m crying too.

Backstage Venedita was showing off a third reveal she had prepared for if she had to lip sync before the tops and bottoms joined them and well, Onyx and Jota were not happy. Onyx was angry to be in the bottom despite such a strong look while Jota felt she wasn’t the worst. While Estrella and Marina celebrated being in the top, Juriji started to sob over landing in the bottom and disappointing herself. And yeah, the dolls were definitely going through it.

Ultimately Marina and Sharonne were deemed safe as Estrella took out her first win of the season before Onyx was sent to safety, leaving Juriji and Jota to fight for safety to Baloncesto by La Prohibida. And yeah, Juriji is a damn star, as she perfectly stripped down and leant into the sexiness of the song while Jota lost her wig and started to look desperate as she went from camp, to a late breaking run of sexiness while Juriji just stayed in the pocket. Which was enough to save herself as Jota was booted from the competition.

While Jota was heartbroken to leave the competition, I was quick to remind her that despite a short run, she was memorable and charming. Which is what I say to all young stars in the hope that they will like me and make me look cool. But seriously, how the hell did Jota do what she did at only 19? Want to know what I was doing at 19? Vomming in public toilets before I even made it out for the night because I had no stamina. As such, we laughed and cried, while I wished to be young again before we split a batch of Melta Carajomenta.

Melting moments, in addition to being delicious, hold such a memorable place in my heart. From my sister bringing extras home from the cafe she worked at when I was a kid, to my friend being obsessed with them as a dessert for after our pastel de carne breaks at work, melting moments are perfect. And sweet. And delicate.

Enjoy!

Melta Carajomenta
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
330g butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 ⅓ cup icing sugar
1 ½ cup flour
½ cup cornflour
1 lemon, zested and juiced

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Pop 250g of the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer with the vanilla extract and half a cup of icing sugar and beat on medium speed until light and fluffy. Fold through the flour and cornflour until just combined.

Using your hands, roll the dough into tablespoon sized balls and pop on a lined baking sheet. When you’ve formed an even amount of balls, this is very important, press them down with a fork to flatten slightly. Pop the baking sheet into the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

While the biscuits get chill, cream the remaining butter and sugar together in a stand mixer with the lemon zest and juice until light and fluffy. To assemble, pipe some icing on the base of half the biscuits before sandwiching with the other half. Close, dust with some icing sugar and devour. Triumphantly.


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Lydia Mered-velveth Cupcakes

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 42, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor after farewelling the last remaining other target in Swati, Tori was feeling very nervous on Ika and as such, beasted her way through the immunity challenge to guarantee her safety. Oh but not until after all of the idols were activated as Drea found Ika’s and Mike begrudgingly said his phrase. Knowing her vote was critical, Lydia didn’t bother to risk hers on her journey up the mountain with Rocksroy. Which was the right move, given she, Hai and Mike held all the power as Vati went back to tribal council and Daniel was booted from the game. Though not before Chanelle threw a random vote at Mike, making her all the more untrustworthy heading into the merge. Oh and Omar has no vote and Hai, Lindsay and Drea got an amulet advantage, in addition to the trio of idols activated last week.

Or non-merge, as the last season celebrated.

After tribal council, the Vati tribe were gagged to have pulled off the Daniel blindside, with Chanelle particularly thrilled to have bested Daniel in their feud. Though sadly for her, she threw out a vote against Mike to protect herself against any Shot in the Darks being played and thought he would be cool with it. Which he is NOT. Despite them hugging it out. Oh and while Hai would take a bullet for Lydia and Mike, Chanelle, not so much. So yeah Chanelle, you in danger girl. Meanwhile over at Ika Rocksroy was busy doing work around camp and picking fruits, while Tori tailed him like a hawk to try and find out what happened on the summit. Which annoyed the hell out of him as she wouldn’t accept his answers. Oh and as they fought, Drea and Romeo hid behind the bushes eavesdropping, agreeing that Tori is sketchy and not to be trusted. In the slightest.

We got to get a little whisper sesh from Jeff who explained that the merge twist would play out the same as last season, except for the fact they will know that the person going to exile will have a massive power and the victors are allowed to opt to go to exile instead of one of the sit outs. To further that sense of deja vu, the challenge was the same as last year too, where they will dig out a rock and then push it through obstacles to release a pair of keys and climb a wall before solving a puzzle. And the victors would get a massive Applebees feast, alongside a merge buff and immunity from the upcoming tribal council. Well, unless the exilee turns back time, that is. Lindsay and Rocksroy ultimately ended up pulling the grey rocks and landing on the sit out bench. 

Jonathan, Tori, Maryanne, Hai and Lydia formed the orange team, while Chanelle, Drea, Mike, Omar and Romero were on blue. And almost immediately, Jonathan took the lead for the orange tribe, coaching them through building a ramp and getting a massive lead as they quickly released their first key. While the blue team tried to close the gap, there is no denying this was team orange’s to lose as the group literally climbed Jonathan to get up the wall before he effortlessly pulled himself up. As Rocksroy and Lindsay rightly marvelled at his prowess. Maryanne and Lydia looked very zen as they calmly sorted their puzzle pieces while Drea held up blue as she struggled to climb the ball and ugh, it was tough to watch. Thankfully Mike and Romeo literally put their bodies on the line and they worked together to get up the ball and yeah, it was heartwarming.

Obviously the headstart proved insurmountable for the blue team as the orange group took out victory and the win, which likely means one of the five will be going home tonight giving this immunity means nothing. The group then cursed Lindsay, selecting her to join them on reward while sending Rocksroy to exile for two days. With only the game changing twist which will make him immune, for comfort.

The victors were giddy as they arrived at their island Applebees, smashing their burgs and delighting in the fact they had officially made the merge. Which is a lie they are tragically unaware of, while Jonathan admitted that he had considered opting to go to Exile which would have kept everyone that won safe. But before we could think about what could have been, Tori talked a bunch of shit about Rocksroy and their OG tribe and then aired all their dirty laundry. Which may endear her to them, or piss everyone off.

Meanwhile the losers ventured to the eventual merge camp where they were thrilled to smash the pity rice they received from Jeff before Drea rightly clocked the merge twist, which is honestly, so damn iconic. Drea then caught up with Mike and suggested that maybe since they both have idols, they should work together and as such, combine their individual alliances to take control. Leaving Chanelle and Tori well and truly on the outs in the process. 

We checked in with Rocksroy as he arrived at his desolate island where as predicted by Tori, he was absolutely thrilled to set up camp, whipping up a fire and shelter. And well, he was loving to have all this alone time to just live his best life and see all the vibrant colour the world has to offer (because he has a degenerative eye disease). Oh and he found the hourglass and hammer, but there were no instructions so he just moved them into his shelter.

The winners and losers reconnected at camp with Omar ready to befriend anyone and everyone to keep himself safe at the first tribal council. Lindsay meanwhile wanted to check in with Hai and Drea to discuss their amulet advantages and see whether they will stick together. And while they all said they would, Hai was nervous the women would eventually turn on him. Mike and Maryanne caught up, assuring each other they will work together before the iconic Maryanne started bonding with Romeo and assured him that the little people need to stick together. Oh and then she bonded with Tori too and while she looks well connected, I’m worried it will come back to bite her.

Mike and Jonathan meanwhile watched the sunset together on the beach, bonding over being gentle giants and agreeing to look after each other and ugh, I love them. And more importantly, how much they love each other.

The next day the tribe went hunting for food, collecting crabs and before Jonathan snatched an octopus, then almost grabbed a shark and well, it was iconic. While he is clearly a threat, Hai was still keen to work with him and use him as a meatshield. With everyone bonding around camp, Hai spoke about how he met his boyfriend which led to Romeo pulling him aside and opening up about being gay and wanting to be as open and honest as he is and ugh, I love them. Hai encouraged him to share his story and love himself as Romeo spoke about his fear of people not loving him or worse, needing to silence himself to be accepted. And ugh, once again, I’m crying.

Omar soon joined the boys and talk returned to the game, with Hai telling them both that Chanelle can not be trusted. Which confirmed to Omar that he doesn’t have a vote. And well, she doesn’t care enough for him to let him know he doesn’t have a vote and as such, he was ready for her to go too.

The next day Omar charmed Mike by telling him that he is saving himself for marriage and well, he is ready to marry his partner ASAP. Lydia and Maryanne bonded over being the younguns with the old lady gang names, while Hai officially locked in his alliance with Jonathan. They then pulled in Lydia, Omar, Drea, Mike, Lindsay and Rocksroy, and just like that, they had a majority. Oh and Chanelle or Tori are their number one targets, with Maryanne identified as the next to go from Taku. Though only because Jonathan didn’t want his new allies to think he wasn’t willing to offer someone up.

Oh and then Chanelle walked up to try and find some allies, with them all pretending they have no plans to take her out. Which made Chanelle more and more nervous as they assured her they will not take her out. As Hai, Jonathan, Drea and Omar caught up to further solidify their bond, Omar admitted that he may not have a vote at the upcoming tribal council. Though after confirming they are tight, Drea shared that she has an extra vote and would be willing to give it to him, should they need it.

We ventured back to Exile Island where Jeff arrived to announce the twist to Rocksroy, who was honestly buzzing with joy to be left on his lonesome for a couple of days. Probst then explained the twist to him and while he was nervous about potentially pissing a bunch of people off, he obviously then smashed the hourglass and earnt himself immunity. And guaranteed his place in the merge. And most importantly, left Tori in jeopardy.

The castaways joined Jeff for the first individual immunity of the season where they were gagged to learn about Rocksroy’s power and the fact that the winner’s of the last challenge are now at risk and would be competing in the immunity challenge to guarantee their safety. Which obviously delighted Chanelle, Drea, Omar, Mike and Romeo. Tori on the other hand was irate and told Rocksroy that she was pissed he took away her safety after she gifted him an advantage. Which only made everyone even more weary of her.

But back to the challenge, where they would each have to balance a table using a rope and walk back and forth along a lane, spell out immunity using wooden blocks. With the first person to finish guaranteeing their place in the merge and a spot on the jury at the minimum. Fuelled by her simmering rage for Rocks, Tori got out to an early lead in the challenge alongside Jonathan, until Hai picked up the pace and took out the lead. Until he dropped and handed the lead back to the duo. Then Jonathan dropped, giving Tori plenty of time to calmly walk the course and jag immunity. Despite a late breaking pursuit from Lindsay. And then Maryanne.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Tori on taking out immunity and assured Rocksroy there are no hard feelings. Before everyone quickly split into factions to come up with a plan, with Jonathan assuring Rocksroy he already has an alliance and has nothing to worry about. After Romeo and Tori bitched about the meatheads in the game, Romeo led the charge to get rid of Jonathan. While Maryanne, Hai and Drea weren’t overly keen, Maryanne also just didn’t want to lose her place in the game. Lydia tried to pitch Jonathan to Lindsay and Chanelle, which made go into protection mode and suggested Maryanne would be a better option because she is super strategic.

Chanelle meanwhile saw through her plan to protect herself and Jonathan, which made her more focused on rallying the troops to keep the vote on Jonathan. While Omar desperately worked to protect Jonathan, which gave him a crack as Lydia admitted that she isn’t sure about this new majority alliance. And as such, he went person to person to turn the tribe against her instead. Which obviously pissed off Hai.

At tribal council Hai admitted that this vote is very defining to their season, particularly since the game has been so fluid thus far. Romeo meanwhile spoke about trusting his gut and reading the cues, with Drea countering that sometimes people are just too nervous to make a move even if they want to. While Hai wanted to take this moment to take control of the game. Lydia once again spoke about how playing Survivor has helped her accept all parts of herself. Jonathan wanted to be able to say that he did all that he could do in the game when it was over, while Omar tried to be chill despite knowing people would come for him eventually. While Rocksroy spoke about his nerves over missing two days of the game.

Maryanne said that she planned to make the decision that will help protect her long term, which Drea said is not the right way to approach the game. Maryanne then tried to get her to agree they are on the same page, which Drea, again, iconically refused to agree. Maryanne spoke about being nervous about how charming and chatty she is while Hai spoke about everyone having a different perception of the game. Oh and then a beetle landed on Rocksroy, which is important, if you ask me.

With that the tribe voted, as Lindsay, Jonathan and Maryanne all received a few votes before the rest piled up on Lydia and sent her from the game. Just missing the jury, tragically. Despite the brutal way she went out – the twist, again, is not great – Lydia was still super calm and zen, happy to have been given the opportunity to play the game. I pulled her in for a massive hug and assured her that while it sucks to go out in such an unfair twist, it does put her in the epic company of Sydney and she can always use it to justify needing a second go at the game. With that, he laughed and cried before smashing some Lydia Mered-velveth Cupcakes

I know, I know – red velvet is just chocolate, but the elegant drama they bring to the looks department always make me excited to eat them. Delicate and fluffy, these babies are the ultimate way to sweeten the bitter after-taste of getting the boot. Or a rough day, TBH.

Enjoy!

Lydia Mered-velveth Cupcakes
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
150g flour
1 ½ tbsp cocoa powder
1 tsp bicarb soda
¼ tsp kosher salt
¼ cup unsalted butter, softened
150g raw caster sugar
1 large egg
1 tbsp vanilla extract
100ml buttermilk
50ml vegetable oil
1 tsp champagne vinegar
1 tbsp red gel food colouring
100g butter, softened
225g icing sugar
100g cream cheese, softened

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C and line a cupcake tin with cases.

Combine the flour, cocoa, bicarb and salt in a bowl and pop the unsalted butter and raw caster sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer. Beat the unsalted butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Reduce to low and beat in the egg, vanilla, buttermilk, oil and vinegar until just combined. Fold the wet ingredients through the dry until just combined, before mixing through the food colouring. Again, until just combined but also a consistent colour.

Divide the batter amongst the cupcake cases and pop in the oven to bake for about 15 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

While they are chillin’, beat the butter and icing sugar on medium, or until pale and fluffy. Add in the cream cheese and beat for another minute or so, or until just combined. But for realsies, because the longer you beat cream cheese, the softer it gets.

Once the cakes are cool, piping the icing on top (or dollop with a spoon and hope for the best) before devouring. 


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Dejate Skye Loaf

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the dolls bombed Snatch Game, putting on the most awkward version the show had ever seen. While I would argue Angie’s version of Tammie Brown was delightful and Camden’s smutty Skakespeare had its positives, DeJa was the only queen that truly managed to shine. As such, everyone but DeJa had to lip sync for their lives in a lip sync lalaparuza smackdown. One by one, Daya Betty, Willow and Jorgeous managed to save themselves before Camden defeated Bosco and Angeria bested Jasmine. In the final round it came down to Bosco and Jasmine with Bosco getting a song that played into her strengths, slaying the performance and saving herself as one of the lip-sync assassins, Jasmine, was finally felled.

The next day the dolls were thrilled to still have a place in the competition but were emotionally exhausted after everything they went through after disappointing Ru and Detective Visage. And Bosco more specifically was exhausted after having to rub off Jasmine’s extensive mirror message, which is very on brand for the chatty queen, TBH. While Daya was still enraged by Jasmine. This time because she was rooting for her friends, which did not include Daya. Surprisingly, since she is a delight and was always kind to her sister with such lines as, I want to hit her head on the sidewalk. 

Before Daya could have a full meltdown, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they’d be starring in the romantic musical Moulin Ru! Which obviously had Camden excited, given that is 100% what she does. The dolls would star as Saltine the fading showgirl, Mama Z the bearded queen owner of the club, the Green Fairy aka Kylie Minogue as an absinthe trip and the four Moulin Ru girls, Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. Oh and they’d once again have to fight for their parts amongst themselves, rather than anyone assigning roles.

After Ru departed, Bosco was confident in her abilities, before Daya snatched Uniqueness without any battles. DeJa took the role of Nerve, Willow went for the Green Fairy while Angeria and Jorgeous fought over Talent with Angie backing down and taking Charisma instead. Saltine then came down to a battle between Bosco and Lady Camden, with them both digging their heels in until Bosco started reminding Camden that she has the skills to pull off Mama Z as well, while she does not. After DeJa suggested they were just wasting everyone’s time, Camden suggested flipping a coin before Bosco suggested the queens vote which they ultimately went with leading to Bosco getting the part. After a torn Willow was forced to break the tie.

Leading to Camden threatening Bosco that she has to turn it out, otherwise she will be pissed. And damn, both of the girls are fired up!

Things were very tense after the battle, with Jorgeous telling everyone that they need to get rid of the bad feelings because taking that energy into the rehearsal will ruin things for all of them. Bosco and Camden each went into their corners to sulk, with Bosco getting eaten up by guilt before Angeria joined Camden and encouraged her that she also didn’t get a part she wanted. Which did nothing more than fire Camden all the way up to slay Mama Z, as she realised that she really could turn any damn role.

The dolls headed to the mainstage where they learnt Leslie Jordan was their extra special director and argh, he is so cute and I love him! After regaling them with tales of her time as drag queen Baby Wipes in a time before even Ru had started drag, Bosco stayed on stage where she nailed rehearsal as Camden looked on angrily while also trying to stifle a smile. Angeria meanwhile was on struggle street but got there in the end. Willow was starting to regret her choice when she realised how quick her moves were going to become while Jorgeous and Leslie compared height before she slayed the moves. While Daya, obviously, questioned Joregous’ skills. At dancing. Because she hasn’t proven to be one of the best all season.

Oh and then Camden slayed from start to finish. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to beat their mugs while Angeria assured us that she had well and truly rehearsed and was ready to slay. Camden meanwhile was opening up to DeJa about how embarrassed she is over how tense she let things get the day before, though given she was feeling her new role pretty hard, that is a very easy feeling to have. Daya opened up about being a theatre queen, while Jorgeous read her (and musicals in general) for filth for being boring, OTT and too happy rather than ratchet like she likes. Angeria asked Bosco if she is nervous, with her opening up about learning to dance through her grandma who is a former (almost) rockette. Jorgeous admitted that she learnt how to dance from watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which Daya had never heard about. While DeJa admitted she also had never taken a dance lesson in her life, with Jorgeous joking that it showed.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the panel by the iconic, Academy Award nominated musician-actress Andra Day for the premiere of Moulin Ru! Angeria, Daya, DeJa and Jorgeous started the show strong, though I was honestly more focused on the sexy dancers in corsets with exposed nips. Camden then joined them and bought all the fire; she was camp, giving perfect lines and was a little demented. On the flipside, while Bosco started super strong, Leslie Jordan arrived to play the Duke and well, then my eyes were pulled in only his direction. Oh and Willow stole the show as the green fairy.

On the Mirror Mirror runway Camden was a perfect star nymph, Bosco was an intergalactic, spiky sex-pot tin wo-man. Willow was a ‘70s rock goddess, Angeria was a stunning, shimmering blue mosaic, Daya looked like Lady Kiss – in a good way – while DeJa was a nude-illusion, shimmering, caged Queen as Jorgeous was a shimmering ribcage and looked a dream.

Camden received universal praise for elevating the MC role and totally stealing the show, while her outfit was great, Ross didn’t love the bottom. Bosco meanwhile was read for not taking the roll as far as it needed to go while Michelle just wanted Bosco to show diversity on the runway, despite looking perfect. Willow received universal praise for everything she served this week while Angie was beloved for doing a lot with a small part. Oh and she looked perfect on the runway. Daya was praised for combining performance and energy, and for slaying the runway while the judges felt DeJa started slow, she came to life in the rap. And well her look didn’t meet the criteria. Jorgeous meanwhile was read for losing energy throughout the performance though they loved her runway.

Ru then got shady and asked everyone who should go home this week with Camden casting her vote for Bosco for being the weakest in the rusical, while Bosco suggested Jorgeous should go home for her track record. Before everyone else voted for Bosco to go home. Particularly because she fought so hard for the role and didn’t deliver. Oh and Jorgeous then doubled down and reminded Ru that Bosco was in the bottom three times in a single episode, so maybe they should take that into account too.

Backstage Bosco opened up about being shocked to be in the bottom, though didn’t have any issue with her sisters saying she should have gone home. Before she ran off to prep the lip sync, Angeria and Daya just told her they only said her because of the critiques, while Joregous reiterated she voted for her for how she treated Camden to get the role. She then pointed out that her runway was actually on task, which is what Jorgeous identified as the reason that she too would be lip syncing. Though DeJa felt she could also be there. 

Angeria meanwhile worried she would somehow land in the bottom – um, no – while the dolls congratulated Camden on a job, very well done! Though Angeria felt Daya could snatch victory for making the most out of such a small role. While Willow was thrilled to once again be in the top, but knew she wouldn’t be taking out the win. Camden then opened up about the fight with only Daya telling her she was a little bratty, which, lol girl. She was interrupted by a video from her mother who was equal parts creative and sweet, which gave Camden that much needed boost for the rest of the season.

The nervous girls split up to get prepped for the lip sync, leaving the tops to kiki. With Camden wanting them to come up with a strategy for not making things awkward again when assigning roles. Jorgeous asked everyone who they felt was their biggest competition, with DeJa scared of Angeria, Jorgeous and Angeria were nervous about competing against Willow, while Camden was threatened by Bosco – which was reciprocated – though Camden was also nervous about Jorgeous. Distracting from the potential rage from Daya for not being viewed as a threat, Andra Day dropped by to chat with the girls and ugh, she is just so damn cool.

Ultimately Daya and Willow were sent to safety before Camden was handed her second win of the season. Much to her absolute delight. Angeria too was deemed safe before DeJa’s performance saved her from the bottom, leaving Bosco and Jorgeous to battle it out. To my dear Whitney Houston’s Heartbreak Hotel, no less! While Bosco had all of the fire and turned it out, Jorgeous knew she was fighting an uphill battle and well, she scaled said hill and back. Gagging her sisters as she eliminated Bosco from the competition. Well, until she unwrapped her chocolate bar and we finally, FINALLY, struck gold as everyone celebrated her second chance. While she broke down with joy.

Backstage Bosco was thrilled to have been saved by a candybar, particularly since she truly believes she deserves to be here. While she was thrilled, DeJa was annoyed that none of them have a shot at immunity while Jorgeous was just annoyed that there are still so many girls to send home. Bosco assured everyone that she holds no ill will against them for suggesting she should go home, before apologising to Lady Camden for the drama between them. With Camden thankfully copping to her part too and once again, all was harmonious.

The next day Daya continued to be horned up while Angeria praised Jorgeous as the lip sync assassin of the season which for some reason, enraged DeJa, who felt she was the one true assassin. But before we could get answers to who would truly be the best, Ru arrived with Norvina from Anastasia Beverly Hills for a mini-challenge where they would each paint Ru’s face. On a brick wall. Not her mug. Oh and Dolly’s, with DeJa, Gorgeous and Angeria together painting Ru, while Willow, Daya, Camden and Bosco would paint Dolly. And well, they benefited from having an extra person because theirs was drastically better. While Ru was gagged by how busted the girls made her look.

Before departing, Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the dolls would be roasting the one and only Bossy Rossy. And for winning the mini-challenge, Bosco, Willow, Daya and Camden would decide the order. Which did nothing to ease Jorgeous’ nerves. Trying to make up for last week, Bosco asked the losers where they would like to perform, wanting everyone to do their best. After taking their requests, the victors pulled themselves aside to decide the order with Bosco offering to go first, letting Joergeous have second like she wants with Willow taking third, knowing she would look better after Jorgeous. They then put Angeria in fourth, Daya fifth before Camden debated about risking it and going last. Particularly since DeJa didn’t want that place. Ultimately, she decided to risk it for said biscuit, which made everyone very happy. While Bosco was just glad no one could complain.

The dolls split up to work on their roasts with everyone feeling particularly terrified except for Bosco, who was quietly righting away. Willow threw out some hilariously bad jokes, Daya was charming – gay gasp – as she wrote nothing while DeJa reminded them all to go in hard, then wrote terrible jokes while cracking herself up.

Bosco was first up to rehearse with Dulce Sloan and Michelle with her struggling through with both of them reminding her to go hard and come out guns blazing. Though I hope it is all a massive fake-out and she slays. Willow was too rambling for their liking while Angeria was charming as hell despite the girls not loving all of her jokes. Daya’s fears were allayed as the judges chuckled at the few jokes she had written while DeJa’s jokes were not landing with anyone but herself. Oh and then Camden proved it was the right choice to take a risk as she was hilarious before Jorgeous tried to win them over with compliments rather than telling any jokes. But she was living her best life over her own jokes, despite pretty much just being ready to lip sync.

Backstage Jorgeous opened up and explained she was well and truly over things, and while her sisters tried to remind her she is talented and just needs to get out of her head. She truly just felt defeated and it was hard to watch.

Elimination Day arrived with Camden feeling her oats, focused on trying to keep her confidence and deliver a good set. Bosco meanwhile opened up about feeling good about opening the show while Daya was hoping her second half would be as successful as the half she rehearsed while Jorgeous was only getting further in her head. Bosco tried to remind her that she has proven herself to be a star and as such, she needs to take that energy into the challenge. While DeJa was confident that her track record would continue to improve. Oh and Bosco borrowed one of Daya’s sponges which straight up looked like a chopped off testicle.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Dulce Sloan on the judges panel for the Ross Matthews Roast, with Bosco slaying from start to finish, reading anything and everything in sight. Jorgeous was iconically bad from the very first moment. It was incoherent and bizarre and I LIVED for every second. Willow was hilarious, smart and such a star, Angeria was solid and super charming, Daya took so long to get anywhere it was an absolute mess before DeJa said hold my beer and was even worse. Which only made Camden funnier than she already was, slaying from start to finish.

On the Tu-tu Much runway Bosco was a star as a bladesaw ballerina covered in blood. Jorgeous was a mess as a biker ballerina, Willow was a camp, judgemental old queen and OH SO PERFECT. Angeria was rocking a beautiful gown made of tutus while Daya looked stunning as a rose gold stilted ballerina – though only because she is so damn tall – while DeJa looked like an extra from the Season 8 promo before Camden was perfection as a classic ballerina.

The judges lived for everything Bosco served up this week, from slaying the jokes and giving such a bold runway. Jorgeous received praise for her runway though was read for struggling in the roast, despite giving a good energy. Willow’s look was beloved and while they loved her roast, they felt she could have gone even further. Angeria was praised for having fun on the roast despite not being the best. Though they lived for her runway. Daya’s look received universal praise though she was read for being bad in the roast. DeJa meanwhile was read for everything she did this week and then when she tried to explain her at-home schtick she was even worse. Thankfully Camden received praise for everything she did. Except for the echo arsehole joke.

Backstage DeJa was ok with the fact she would clearly be lip syncing, though felt bad for putting in jokes that Michelle and Dulce told her were shit. She broke down over messing up so badly and for not delivering what the judges see in her, though more so she was heartbroken to clearly be lip syncing against Jorgeous. Despite the fact that Daya is right there and bombed just as badly. Jorgeous reminded everyone how hard the challenge is though was feeling good given it is over. Angeria meanwhile was worried that Jorgeous was losing her confidence and starting to fade away.

As DeJa continued to sob, Camden tried to remind her how good she is and how she has appreciated how hopeful she has been throughout the season. This snapped DeJa out of it, thanking her sisters for being so kind and grateful to have gotten to know each and every one of them.

The dolls congratulated Camden on clearly making it to the end while looking like such a star on the runway. Angeria meanwhile felt it was awkward to not really know how you were going on stage while Jorgeous just hated every moment of it. Willow was thrilled to have performed ok and for looking amazing on the runway, despite the fact she could barely speak due to her lip prosthetics. She then received a video message from home and ugh, her family are so damn cute and charming, praising Willow for being a star and just making them all so happy and proud. While she laughed and cried, she couldn’t move her face at all because of her lips and it was great.

Dulce dropped backstage to talk to the dolls, congratulating them on performing so well and reminding them that they are lucky to be here. And to just celebrate making it. She then immediately bounced as Willow kissed everyone with her massive lips.

Ultimately Camden was sent to safety before Bosco took out her third win of the season before Willow and Angeria were sent to safety. Ru then gagged Daya, Jorgeous and DeJa with the news that they would all be lip syncing for their lives and not just that, only one of them would be surviving the lip sync. Despite looking terrified, as soon as Olivia Rodrigo’s good 4 u started Daya was ready to save herself. She sold all the emotion, had the lyrics down and made sense with the song. Jorgeous meanwhile gave her usual performance though the style didn’t seem to work with the song while DeJa was just kind there. Despite reminding us she was the only one Ru called a lip sync assassin. As such Daya was deemed safe, leaving both Jorgeous and DeJa to sashay away.

Things started a wee bit more awkward than usual, as DeJa questioned how the lip sync assassin and her apprentice – Jorgeous is nobody’s apprentice – were felled by Daya. And while yeah, we all hated Daya until this very episode, the judging was fairly on point this week. Which is obviously not what I told her, as I cried about them being robbed of their place in the rumix and begging them to come back and slay on All Stars (which both DeJa and Jorgeous could easily win). After perking her back up, I distracted her with a delicious Dejate Skye Loaf and all was right in the world.

I once started a cafe at home in the middle of the suburbs when I was five after whipping up a packet mix version of date loaf. While I literally fled the business before seeing whether it was a success, date loaf won my heart and as such, I dedicated my life to perfecting a recipe. And well, this is it! Sweet, moist and oh so moreish, there is nothing better!

Enjoy!

Dejate Skye Loaf
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
250g pitted dates, roughly chopped
1 cup boiling water
⅓ cup butter, melted
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1 ½ cup flour
2 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 tsp mixed spice
1 pinch kosher salt

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C and line a loaf pan.

Pop the dates in a large bowl and pour over the boiling water, leaving to rest for 5 minutes or until nice and plumped. Stir in the butter, sugar and vanilla before quickly beating in the egg.

In a second bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, bicarb, mixed spice and salt. Fold into the wet ingredients until well combined and pour into the lined loaf tin. Tranfer the cake to the oven and bake for 30-40 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for five minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool complete.

Or, serve a little bit warm with a thick smear of butter.


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Tres Lechesse Hansen Cake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Baking, Cake, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the tribe were put through their paces in a difficult immunity challenge which made everyone confused, except for Shay who slayed the game and well, proved Sam right. They should have booted her when they had the chance. The couples alliance continued to ignore Sam’s opinion while the cousins started to worry that Jordie was fast becoming an issue for their game. Jordie meanwhile was busy wanting to take out Mark, while Mark and Sam wanted to split up the cousins. Ultimately though, they stuck together and split the vote on the twins, with Mel tragically booted from the game.

The next day Chrissy was pondering whether Dave had passed away as he quietly slept by the fire, before moving on to Sam and getting her to colour in her brows with charcoal. While they joked about opening a beauty parlour to hide from their male overlords, Michelle was ready to fight thanks to her sister pointing out just how dangerous Josh was on her way out the door. Poor Josh meanwhile was struggling in the spotlight, wanting to try and improve his bond with Sam and most importantly, get rid of Jordie as he is the least trustworthy person in the alliance. You know, because he outed Mark’s idol to him which actually proved loyalty.

As Jordie and Jesse disappeared to bathe together, Josh pulled Sam, Mark, Chrissy and Dave aside to talk about Jordie’s duplicitous ways. Unaware that Chrissy and Dave also had no idea about Mark’s idol until he outed it. While Josh appeared to have their best interests at heart, this conversation irked Sam who desperately wanted to keep her closest ally Jesse safe and should they target Jordie, he runs the risk of being collateral damage. Sam and Mark caught up alone to talk about Josh’s plan, with Sam admitting she doesn’t want to make a move without at least talking to Jesse.

Sam found Jesse, with the latter pointing out that he and his brother are desperate to get Josh out ASAP. And after Mel’s performance at the last tribal council, he now knows he is a target and as such, the longer he survives the more nervous and paranoid he will become. Making his gameplay wilder, which is super solid logic!

The tribe joined Jonathan for the reward challenge where everyone was partnered up, tethered and forced to collect blocks before balancing them on a wobbly platform. And given they are playing for KFC, I could dive through the screen and gobble down everything in sight. Shay and Jordan were facing off against KJ and Sam, Mark and Michelle, Jordie and Chrissy, and Jesse and Josh, while Dave got to sit out and bet on the pair he thinks will win and should they succeed, he gets to join them.

Chrissy is clearly a KFC fan too, as she quickly guided Jordie through the challenge and got out to an early lead. Jesse and Josh worked fast to close the gap, while frankly Mark and Michelle were the absolute worst. While everyone started to get nice and high, Chrissy and Jordie worked methodically and scored our icon some glorious dirty bird. Obviously Jonathan is a messy kinda girl, so gave them the chance to select two people to join them, selecting Jesse and Mark. While Sam looked enraged, Jonathan let them pick one more person with them ultimately picking Josh. So you know Sam is going to be angry back at camp, which is my favourite flavour of Sam.

The happy group of KFCers arrived at the pop-up restaurant and immediately got to licking their fingers and smashing anything in sight. As it is wont to do, the game came back into play as everyone started watching each other like hawks to make sure nobody found a clue. Which is exactly what happened when Jordie grabbed a towel to sit down, leading to him shoving it down his brother’s speedos without anyone noticing. Well, other than me and my flooded basement. With that everyone started pulling apart the hut with Jesse for some reason opting to take it out of his bum to move to his junk and well, it looked like Crissy caught him.

Back at camp Chrissy, Dave and Sam caught up and immediately spiralled with paranoia about Jesse and Jordie potentially finding an idol and as such, started to tail them. Sam continued to worry about Jordie being the undoing of her relationship with Jesse and as such, pulled him aside to see if he would be honest with her. While he instead denied finding a clue and focused on getting rid of Josh, while Mark watched on and used his soldiering past to identify that he was a big old liar. And as such, Jordie, you in danger girl!

The tribe met up with Jonathan again for the immunity challenge where they would each have to stand on a series of posts and use ropes to balance a plank, on which they have to balance a ball. Last one with their ball in the air taking out immunity. Michelle and Sam were the first to drop from the challenge before Shay dropped just before everyone transitioned to a smaller post. As did KJ and Dave, leaving challenge beast Chrissy against the Js and Mark. Tragically on the next transition, Chrissy dropped with Jesse soon following before Jordan fell off his post. The remaining trio moved to the next smallest post, which quickly took Josh out of the challenge, before Mark dropped out of nowhere, handing a struggling Jordie immunity.

Back at camp the tribe quickly split up to commence scrambling, with the boys locking in the vote against Shay, with a split on Michelle for safety. Though obviously, that wasn’t what was going to happen as Jordie and Jesse approached Sam to pull the trigger and get rid of Josh. While Sam admitted to being nervous, Jesse assured her the four of them will always have each other’s backs. With that, they roped in Michelle who was thrilled at the thought of getting revenge for Mel by taking out Josh.

Sadly for everyone, Mark was not keen on getting rid of Josh and as such, he approached him, Dave and Jordan to let them know and flip the vote on Jesse instead. And while he was spooked, he was also ready to use himself as bait so they could blindside Jesse without any risk. Mark then caught up with Sam to make sure she is ok with the thought of getting rid of Jesse, with her admitting it makes her feel uncomfortable and once again, Mark just did not care.

Josh went to Jesse to catch up with him, with them both pretending that they aren’t trying to boot the other. While Shay and Michelle were bonding over sarongs, Dave and Jordan were chatting in the water and as such, Jesse started to feel like something was up given everyone was so chill and as such, pulled his brother aside to go hunting for the idol using their clue. Which he quickly found, guaranteeing him safety too.

Wait, no – Sam spotted him and quickly jumped out of the bushes to congratulate him. And while he was glad that she was the one to find him, I have an awful feeling. Particularly when she talked him into handing over the idol for better hiding in her sarong, given everyone will be looking at him to make sure he doesn’t have one. And again, I don’t feel good about this.

At tribal council Dave spoke about sticking to the plan, essentially, while Sam continued to worry about the warring factions within the alliance while Jordie got sick of talking in circles and as such, admitted to there being a majority and well, they were ready to get rid of one of the minority. Both Josh and Jesse reiterated this fact despite both planning to take out the other before Mark stupidly talked about idols potentially coming into play tonight, while Jesse agreed anything can happen with an idol. Sam admitted that idols haven’t been played correctly this season and as such, they really need to focus on holding onto the numbers if they want to make it to the end. Which Jesse readily agreed with.

Jesse was also confident that his plan will be the one to win out at tribal council and ugh, I’m nervous despite the fact Josh was also confident his plan would come to fruition. And that logic should make me nervous for him too, but well, he isn’t Jesse. Sam spoke about a break in the majority being inevitable, but wondered when would be the right time and how it would all play out. With that, the tribe voted and tragically Sam sided with her husband’s alliance, blindsiding Jesse with an idol in, well, her pocket. Which is cold. Bold and gutsy, but cold, and not going to win her any jury votes.

Before exiting Jesse warned her that he will burn her should she not hand the idol over to Jordie before the next tribal council, and damn, is this season all about how Sam lost?

Thankfully by the time he arrived at the Jury Villa, Jesse was back to being his usually delightful self (though I am biased as he has the cutest speedos of the fleet of the speedo zaddies). I pulled him in for a massive hug and reminded him that since Khanh is the only won that is winning any money outside of the eventual victor, going out in a massive, memorable blindside is the best you can hope for. Meaning, in a way, he won. Particularly if you take into account he got to smash a Tres Lechesse Hansen Cake.

One of my favourite Mexican dishes, tres leches cake is sweet, smooth and gloriously moist – or dripping, even – and just warms your soul. Add in the perfection that is a maraschino cherry (or fifty) on the top, and there is nothing better.

Enjoy!

Tres Lechesse Hansen Cake
Serves: 12-16.

Ingredients
Cake
115g unsalted butter
1 cup milk
4 eggs, at room temperature
2 cups raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp freshly ground nutmeg
Tres leches
300ml sweetened condensed milk
355ml evaporated milk
180ml thickened cream
2 tsp vanilla extract
Icing
2½ cups thickened cream
¼ cup icing sugar
2 tbsp milk powder
1 tbsp vanilla extract
12-16 maraschino cherries, double or treble to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 160°C and butter and flour a 25x30cm baking dish.

Combine the butter and milk in a saucepan over low heat until it is just combined. Remove from the burner and allow to cool completely. While it gets chill, whip the eggs, sugar and vanilla in a stand mixer on medium speed until thick and voluminous. 

Sift the flour, baking powder, salt and nutmeg into a bowl before folding half through the egg mixture. Next fold in the butter and milk mixture, folded by the remaining flour until just combined. Pour into the baking dish and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes, or until an inserted skewer comes out clean. Leave to rest for ten minutes.

While the cake is in the oven, combine the tres leches – condensed milk, evaporated milk and thickened cream – in a bowl with the 2 tsp of vanilla extract. Once the cake is done resting, stab the cake repeatedly with a bamboo skewer before slowly pouring the milk mixture over the top, allowing it to absorb all the sweet nectar. Leave to cool and absorb for about half an hour before covering with cling and popping in the fridge for an hour or so.

When you’re almost ready to eat, beat the remaining thickened cream, icing sugar, milk powder and vanilla extract until soft peaks form. Spoon and smooth over the top of the cake before dotting with a heavy dose of maraschino cherries.

Then serving and devouring (or eating straight out of the dish).


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Kerri Columbines

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru dropped by to see if the dolls could help her get rid of Miichelle’s leftover Glamazon purchases by upcycling them to create sickening looks on the runway. Jasmine was an absolute mess, Daya felt it was her time to shine after blocking Willow from serving a baby doll look and Maddy was a patchwork delight, albeit a little sloppy. Jorgeous meanwhile threw an outfit together in minutes and took out her first victory of the season, much to the absolute rage of the safe Daya. Who had more than a lot of emotion for being safe. Jasmine and Maddy faced off in the lip sync after a massive fight in Untucked with straight icon Maddy tragically going home.

Backstage Jasmine was super sassy about her performance in the lip sync, gloating about how easy it was beating Maddy. Just like she said she would. Jasmine was feeling her oats after showing off how good she was and while she was in the bottom, Willow did admit she was great. And knew she’d be thrilled to get the last word in the argument with Maddy. As the dolls gathered to reflect on the week, Camden admitted she was fired up for the win and that fire remains given how close she was this week. While Camden congratulated Jorgeous on her win, Daya called her out for throwing it together at the last minute and winning. While Jorgeous shadily told us that maybe she should have steamed her garment and done some different make-up if she wanted to make it to the top too.

As they split up to de-drag, Jasmine and DeJa congratulated Jorgeous on her win and asked if she was ok about the Daya situation, with her opening up about how much it sucked to be made to feel like shit when she should be feeling good. But all of them agreed Daya needed to shut up. And stop giving Crystal in every damn look.

Things were far more jubilant the next day with Jorgeous finally able to feel thrilled with her victory as Daya continued to give a bitter face. While Daya apologised for ruining her moment, it wasn’t a very good one and well, maybe she should have just not.

Before anyone could call her out, Ru arrived to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge they’d be starring in the new soap The Daytona Wind, about the duelling drag dynasties, the Davenports, O’Haras and the Michaels. With the soap directed by Ruple herself and as Jorgeous won, she was allowed to allocate the roles and damn I hope she screws over Daya. And looks after Camden, who is very confident given she went to acting school, and I don’t want that confidence to be misplaced. Like Juju, Gorgeous wanted the dolls to do well and to speak up when they saw the roles they wanted.

As they read through, the dolls calmly put their name down with Kerri suggesting she would pick one with fewer lines given it gives you the chance to go big and steal the scene. Like a more bang for your buck situation. DeJa meanwhile was very relaxed when Jorgeous told her she also wanted the same role, given it was her choice and immediately moved on. Which I hope Baga watched to learn about the concept of grace. They continued through the script with everyone snatching at roles until there was only one left, which Camden got stuck with given she was still on page one. But again, she took it in her stride and just hoped for the best. But given she loves Angeria and their roles get to make out, she was thrilled.

Bosco, Willow and Daya caught up to work through their scene with Daya continuing to be desperate for some face time with the judges and given she and Willow were bouncing off each other well, maybe she’ll get her wish. And well, Bosco is a star so I’m sure she will shine too. Kerri, Jorgeous and DeJa were doing well too, until DeJa told them to try going off book with DeJa immediately forgetting every single one. While Jorgeous was just terrified about bombing another acting challenge.

The dolls met Ru on set to film the show, reminding them to find their angles rather than emotions because that is what Joan Collins would want of them. DeJa, Jorgeous and Kerri were up first with Ru giving some great direction to get them as camp and southern as possible, with DeJa struggling while Kerri was a delight and Jorgeous was a campy, soap STAR. Jasmine served Alyssa Edwards realness and she, Angeria and Camden were perfect. Mainly because Jasmine’s accent was just too much and so ridiculous, in all the right ways. With Bosco rightly describing it as so bad it is the best thing she’s ever seen.

Daya and Willow arrived on the scene and were amazing from start to finish, with Ru wanting to bequeath Willow a daytime emmy. Which you know fired up Daya, making it more ridiculous and so fun. Which is new for Daya on the show. Bosco then knocked it out of the park before Angeria and Camden slayed their love scene. And well, I ship them. Despite Angeria feeling herself fading throughout the shoot.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone but Angeria thrilled to watch the video back, as Willow and Kerri checked in to make sure she was ok with Willow worried she isn’t remembering how damn special she is. Daya gave a far better apology to Jorgeous, with Bosco joining in to casually agree that the competition doesn’t necessarily bring out the best aspects of her personality either.

Talk turned to the chaps runway with Bosco bringing up kinks, asking if anyone is into the leather community with Camden admitting how much she loves going to the Folsom Street Fair. Once again, Angeria had no idea what the fair was and when the girls clarified what it was, she was desperate for a ticket. The dolls brought up Maddy again, with Jasmine admitting she felt bad about the fight though was thrilled to get a lovely note from her before she left. Daya then offered that maybe she could catch up with her next week after she herself is eliminated.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined on the judges panel by the iconic TS Madison as the dolls rocked the Chaps on the Runway runway. Willow was a sexy, stunning latex wedgie vixen complete with high-pigtails. Bosco was a sexy pink hippy leather daddy, DeJa wore a vibrant blue leopard print chaps bodysuit while Kerri gave a stunning hair chap look and Jorgeous was just shimmering in crystal and lace. Angeria was perfection in a golden shimmering disco chap while Jasmine was a blue and yellow graduate, Camden was a sexy, stunning rocker complete with a fall-on-your-face-fake-out, losing her wig and becoming Freddie Mercury. While Daya gave Carmen San Dieg-ho, again serving Shannel’s eyes.

Ru announced that while watching the dailies, she felt something was missing in all of their performances so she asked the editors to work overtime in post. And by that, the name The Daytona Wind made a lot more sense as Ru’s heavy-handed additions of farts elevated the script and frankly, was perfection. Jasmine’s ridiculous acting was joyous, Angeria was delightful as always despite how she felt while Camden was an absolute star. While Willow gave perfect bimbo, Daya truly did get her moment in the show and well, it was stunning.

DeJa, Kerri and Angeria were sent to safety, leaving Daya to finally receive critiques for the first time since week two. When she was eliminated. Backstage the trio were absolutely gagged to be deemed safe, unsure how they avoided being the bottoms of the week. Admitting they all struggled with the challenge, they quickly deduced that those left on the stage were the top six of the week and that there must not be any bottoms (we’re all bottoms). Angeria opened up about how being in the top each week made the pressure get to her, though was grateful for Jasmine getting her out of her head before filming. Kerri felt she was going to slay, but realised the judges just wanted to challenge her and push her out of her comfort zone. Admitting that being pretty, you really don’t usually have to work as hard.

Back on the mainstage, Ru announced they were the top six and that because everyone did such a good job this week that nobody would be going home. Instead, the top two will lip sync for the win. Jorgeous received universal praise for the look despite not giving much chap, though Michelle felt she could have given more in the show despite hitting every damn beat. Jasmine received universal praise for her runway and demented accent before the judges gave Camden even more glowing praise, particularly for the best runway reveal ever. Daya finally got her moment in the sun, with the judges living for everything she did with Ru decreeing this the week she finally showed up and that she is so proud of her. As always Willow was universally beloved, though Michelle read her for being too similar to Moira Rose. Oh and once again, Bosco was beloved for knocking it out of the park with her ending role.

The top six returned to the Werk Room and immediately confirmed the safe girls’ suspicions, with Angeria admitting she was gagged since she knew she belonged in the bottom while Jorgeous was ready to get grumpy. Daya opened up about her glowing praise, grateful for her moment and taking another in Untucked as she monologued about her skills. Jorgeous finally got to step in and talk, glad to finally not bomb an acting challenge while Kerri asked Camden if she was ready to lip sync for her win and ugh, I love them both.

Camden opened up about how gagged the judges were by her reveal with Jasmine agreeing that like Jorgeous, she was glad to finally slay an acting challenge. Which irritated Daya, despite the fact she wouldn’t shut up. Daya continued to get frustrated, asking the safe girls who they felt would be in the top and when they agreed Bosco and Camden should be lip syncing for the win, she got even more annoyed. They then made things worse by saying it could be Jasmine, pissing off Daya since they were once again overlooking her.

Angeria thanked Jasmine for getting her out of her head with Angeria opening up about how much she is missing her mum. Camden opened up that she wanted to lip sync to the song because it was one of her mum’s faves and was even wearing one of her mum’s chokers. DeJa spoke about feeling horrible for how she has treated her mother in the past before TS dropped by to kiki with the girls, agreeing that for the LGBTQIA+ community, the support of your family is critical.  TS asked the dolls what they want out of the experience with Jasmine opening up about wanting financial stability and how the pandemic left her struggling to put food on the table. She then told Jorgeous she was fierce and then left.

DeJa then asked the dolls if anyone had considered transitioning, with Bosco announcing that yes she has thought about it and definitely thinks she wants to push the dial a little more to the feminine side of non-binary (which she did post-filming!). Jasmine started to sob as she opened up about the fact she was going to start hormones before the competition, though got scared, however seeing Kerri thrive just made her feel like she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She then came out as trans, grateful to feel safe enough to talk about it and like Bosco, have a supportive partner to go on the journey with. She spoke about how Kerri is an inspiration for her and who she wants to be, leading to Kerri sobbing over how happy she is for her sister.

After that deeply personal, empowering conversation, the dolls returned to the mainstage where Jorgeous and Jasmine were sent to safety while Camden was announced as one of the Top 2 queens. Bosco too was sent to safety, leaving Willow and Daya for the final spot, as Daya was placed in the top while Willow was sent to safety. As soon as One Way or Another kicked off however, it was clear the Top 2 was as far as Daya was getting because Camden was absolute fire. She was charming, camp, stupid and splitting and kicking all over the stage and ugh, it was just an absolute joy to watch. And rightly handed her her first win of the competition.

Backstage Daya was thrilled to make it to the top, despite the fact Camden demolished her out of the win. Camden too was rightly feeling her oats while DeJa congratulated them both on a job well done, as Jasmine suggested she should have been in the top two over Camden. She was proud that once again Ru told them how good they are which made Willow joke that eventually there will be a challenge they will all bomb. And oh God, is that a premonition? As the dolls de-dragged, DeJa checked in with Jasmine to see how she was doing, as Jasmine admitted she felt she did a better job than Daya in the challenge though given she came out in Untucked, it probably was best she didn’t have to lip sync after such a cathartic moment. While everyone once again reiterated how proud of Jasmine they were.

Then Kerri and Angeria started wrasslin’ and well, I love the dolls!

The next day Willow was shocked by how real the competition was feeling, with Bosco admitting that she now wants the money and will gladly become their friends AFTER the show. Which was the perfect transition as Ru arrived to open the library. Which is what Bosco feels she was born for. Kerri was up first and was surprisingly cutting and hilarious, Angeria was brutal, Camden called Jorgeous a waste of time and Willow a hunchback while DeJa went in on Kerri’s safe streak. Jorgeous went in on Jasmine for proving white do crack, while Jasmine read Kerri for a lack of dancing skills and Daya’s two-faced ways. Willow was hilarious as she called Jorgeous Serena ChaCha, Daya was solid and then Bosco stole the show with smart reads including the dolls being Ru’s pallbearers on the mainstage so they could let her down on the runway one last time.

Obviously Bosco took out victory, though Camden was commended for being super shady too. But more importantly, Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be forming ‘60s girl groups with everyone allowed to form the three bands themselves. The dolls split up to listen to the songs to decide what they wanted, with Daya desperately focused on getting the Bad Boy song. Sadly four of the girls wanted that one, leading to a stand-off for the band. And guaranteeing Daya does not win fan favourite or Miss Congeniality. Eventually DeJa took a step back, leading to Bosco and Willow sticking with Daya in one band, while DeJa joined Jasmine and Jorgeous as the Ru-nettes while Kerri, Camden and Angeria formed the Ru-premes.

While Daya was confident in their chances of taking out a win, DeJa had already moved on and was ready to slay with the Ru-nettes. Shang-ru-las be damned! Though given Jasmine is straight up tone deaf, DeJa you may be in danger girl! While Kerri was just excited to knock it out of the park and get her first Grammy.

We first followed the Ru-premes as they joined Michelle to record their song, with Angeria selling confidence and giving all the Diana Ross. Kerri meanwhile was pitchy on her first run, leading to her getting in her head and damn, I hope this is a fake-out. When the Shang-ru-las stepped up to record, Bosco was hilarious while Daya was super confident and tragically seemed to knock it out of the park. None of the Ru-nettes were singers however, filling Michelle with nerves for them. Though when DeJa slayed from start to finish, things looked up. Wait, no, Jorgeous and Jasmine could not sing. At all.

Thankfully they were better when it came to choreography, though not by much as DeJa got stuck in the details as they ran through their moves and frustrated the hell out of her dancer sisters. Willow, Daya and Bosco were super together, nailing it from start to finish while the girls finally realised that Willow is a damn dancer! Camden meanwhile took control for their band, choreographing a simple routine so everyone could shine and while Angeria struggled anyway, I am confident their charm will sell the shit out of things. Despite the other girls looking on in fear for their chances.

Elimination Day rolled around with the dolls splitting up to get in their ‘60s looks, while they kikied about their favourite songs, with the dolls mainly focusing on Destiny’s Child while Camden spoke about her love of Spice Girls. And how girl power got her through high school. Angeria spoke about her love for En Vogue, while Kerri opened up about how her family didn’t let her embrace any music and she was forced into listening to church music only. Which made her even more obsessed with that kind of music.

Talk turned to the reading challenge and how amazing Bosco was before Daya confronted Jasmine for calling her two faced. And while she was super cut, Jasmine straight up listed all the things she said behind her back and how she had never said anything to her. With Daya admitting she would have, but Jasmine was preparing to lip sync for her life at the time. And while Daya was getting pressed, Jasmine reiterated that she never even tried to apologise, just make herself the victim.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined on the panel by Alec Mapa as the girl groups took the stage with the Shang-ru-las up first. And as much as I hate to say it, Daya did a killer job. Though not as good as Bosco and Willow, thankfully. The Ru-nettes did well, in no small part due to Jorgeous getting to speak all her lyrics instead of singing. That being said, this was well and truly DeJa’s performance. Closing the show the Ru-premes were so, so charming with Angeria and Camden in particular knocking it out of the park.

On the Heart On runway, Willow was stunning as she dropped all of her panties, Daya looked a mess as Jojo Siwa and Pink’s daughter, while Bosco was perfection in all white with her hole out and a heart in her hand. DeJa was a sexy nurse in an episode of Sailor Moon, Jorgeous was full on Victoria’s Secret realness, though made it carnivale. Jasmine gave a red, velvet gown with some hearts pinned on her hips while Angeria was a star as a high-headed checkerboard while Kerri was a dripping heart and veins while Camden was perfection as cupid, shot by her own arrow.

Willow, Bosco and Jorgeous were sent to safety, leaving Daya to receive universal praise for her performance as the one that stole the limelight. Which is not how I saw it. They also lived for her runway. DeJa too received universal praise before Jasmine was read for not finding a key, though praised for her commitment. Angeria returned to her place in the top as the judges loved everything she served, before Kerri was read for being too churchy for the challenge rather than giving girl groups. And well, she wasn’t very fun and they felt her outfit needed work. Camden meanwhile was read for blending into the background, though praised for looking like a star on the runway. Though reminded to bring the energy she served last week, every week.

Backstage Bosco was just thrilled to definitely not be lip syncing, given her outfit is quite immobile. Talk turned to the reading challenge with Bosco happy with everything people said about her, while laughing about how pressed Daya Betty was about being called two-faced. They agreed that Daya clearly is feeling the pressure of the competition, though were glad she is in the top to get praise. And to hopefully take the edge off. They speculated about the dolls placements, agreeing DeJa may be in the bottom as would be Jasmine. Unsure whether Kerri or Camden would be joining them, unaware that both were in the bottom, while DeJa was high.

Talk turned to Jasmine’s coming out, with Bosco and Willow talking about how hard not being able to do drag was throughout the pandemic given it was an outlet for their gender expression. Willow admitted that after years of focusing on her health concerns, she finally feels able to explore who she really is and what she loves about her body, including how she identifies.

The tops and bottoms joined the party and gagged the dolls with the fact DeJa was one of the tops. Kerri shared she was read for being too churchy and that she will definitely be lip syncing. Daya was thrilled to share that she was definitely in the top, thanking Bosco and Willow for helping get her over the line. Jasmine praised Daya for breaking through, though Angeria joked that it was all anger. Camden agreed she was in the bottom, though hopeful she would avoid the lip sync with Jasmine assuring her that she will be the one lip syncing, not Camden. While Angeria was once again thrilled to be in the top, further cementing herself as THE front runner.

Jasmine and Kerri once again caught up with Jasmine thanking her for being such an inspiration, ready to slay and be the woman she was born to be. The tops and safe dolls caught up, with Daya admitting she was deliberately selfish this week because she wants to win and well, she doesn’t care what anyone has to say about it.

Returning to the stage, somehow Daya Betty took out her first victory, proving tantrums do pay off, while Angeria and DeJa were deemed safe. As was Camden, narrowly, leaving Jasmine and Kerri to lip sync for their life to a weird remix of Toni Braxton’s iconic Unbreak My Heart. And well, it was a show. Jasmine kicked off a shoe and didn’t even bat an eyelid as she served with only a shoe, jumping and splitting all over the stage. Kerri meanwhile gave all the charm and emotion, and while I lived, it proved to be not enough against Alyssa Edwards Jr, leaving the iconic and powerful Kerri Colby to sashay away with only her chocolate bar for company.

Kerri was heartbroken to be eliminated from the competition, though was accepting that she did the worst in the challenge. Plus, Kerri had such a strong impact on so many of her sisters, it was hard for her to not feel the obvious love the world has for her. Which I reiterated to her backstage before sharing a fresh bowl of Kerri Columbines to sweeten her power. 

While Columbines were tragically discontinued in the early ‘00s, they have such a special place in my hearts. Sure, they are just chewy caramels but the memories attached are so joyous. You see, every time my grandparents would come to visit we would arrive home from school to discover a bag of the pink and blue wrapped delights at the foot of our beds. It was such a small thing, but it still makes me happy so I was glad to make a copycat for the iconic Kerri.

Enjoy!

Kerri Columbines
Serves: 4 excited grandkids in the ‘90s or 2 dear friends in the (20)20s.

Ingredients
225g butter
450g muscovado sugar
395g can sweetened condensed milk 
1 cup light corn syrup 
½ tsp kosher salt 
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Method
Pop everything but the vanilla extract In a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly until it reaches 112-116C on a candy thermometer. Cook for a further couple of minutes at that temperature before removing and gently stirring in the vanilla.

Pour the caramel into a lined baking tin and leave to cool completely at room temperature. Once set, use an oiled knife to cut into squares before wrapping in waxed paper or you know, devouring greedily.


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Banoffeeryl Toad in a Hole

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 1, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previous on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World nine all star queens from across the globe descended on jolly old England to battle for the chance to be the Queen, of the WORLD. Not to be confused with Queen of the Universe, which obviously also starred Jujubee. Because she is great TV. To help Ru and Co get to know them (or get reacquainted with them), they put on a little talent show, or as they say in England, a Royal Command Performance. Despite slaying her number, Lemon was read for showing no face, while Jimbo was just absolutely bonkers, complete with tossing bologna at Ru. Pangina absolutely slayed a lipsync while Janey’s lip sync served subpar reveals. Jimbo and Pangina ultimately took out victory, with Pangina destroying the lip sync and with it, Lemon’s life in the competition.

Backstage the dolls were gagged to have lost Lemon so soon, with Pangina admitting she felt a little guilty to be the one to end her run but ultimately, she was confident in her choice. Janey meanwhile was disappointed to have landed in the bottom, particularly when she saw Jimbo had pulled her name to go should she have won the lip sync. Janey read Jimbo for voting based on solely alliances and argued that her critiques were far better than Lemon’s. And well, now she knows Jimbo is the girl she thought she was. Not wanting to be left out of the drama, Blu then questioned whether Jimbo had deliberately thrown the lip sync, given it was a bit of a mess. Which Jimbo vehemently denied because there is no benefit in looking a mess in front of Mel C and Ru. Which is the only thing that makes me question whether Blu is wrong.

The next day things were far more harmonious, with the dolls congratulating Pangina on taking out the first win. Oh wait, no Janey is still pissed at Jimbo and questioned whether she would be voting based on talent now that she is the only Canadian left standing. Fed up, Jimbo admitted that she wasn’t impressed with Janey’s looks in the challenge, particularly since she considers herself a look queen. Which led to Monique jumping in to read the outfits for absolute filth and backing up Jimbo.

After toasting another week of mediocrity for Cheryl, the girls were interrupted by Ru who arrived to announce this week’s Maxi Challenge – a ball! More specifically, the RuPaul Ball which would require them to serve a Kitty Girl look, followed by a Butch Queen inspired number and finally they would be making a new outfit that Ru would want to wear on the You Wear It Well Runway. And the thought of a ball immediately filled Baga with terror and Jimbo with joy. Ru departed and the girls immediately started pillaging the supplies, with Monique going fluro while Jimbo was feeling more golden. While Cheryl cut her thumb open within 30 seconds.

The dolls quickly split up to start planning their looks with Blu feeling confident in her ability to work an outfit, while Janey was just grateful that Holland never served a design challenge and as such, she is an unknown entity amongst the cast. Jujubee meanwhile was hoping to barely scrape through another sewing challenge, given this is one of her notorious weaknesses. As was Baga, who was well and truly feeling out of her depth, wandering around the Werk Room asking for advice and monologuing about how stars like herself don’t sew. While Blu and Monique just reminded her to shut up and get to work.

Cheryl returned from the medic and admitted she was spiralling as she debated between a catsuit or a dress, while Monique repeatedly told her to relax and to get out of her head. Jimbo meanwhile was in her element and despite being sent home on a ball in Canada – by Michelle, no less – she is ready to redeem herself. Or suck them balls dry. While jujubee was FINE, ok!

Ru arrived to check in with the dolls, with Ru laughing it up over how out of her depth Baga is. While Blu had a full Forrester Creations’ calibre drawing and swatches of her fully realised look, while Cheryl tried to sell her outfit already and lied that she is now a confident sewer. Team USA were up next with Monique’s green gown looking glorious while Jujubee was thrilled to have stretchy fabric and distracted from her lack of skills by delighting Ru with her wit and cham. Canada, Thailand and Holland united for their check-in, with Jimbo thrilled to be the last Canadian standing and super confident in her skills. Pangina was thrilled to take out the first victory last week and ready to continue her winning streak by sewing by hand. While Janey was confident in her sewing skills, though not the design skills.

Oh and while everyone was having their kiki, Baga slept. Only waking up as Ru cackled when Janey asked to win the challenge and then follow it up by reminding Ru that she asked first if anyone else comes to her.

After Ru left, Jimbo broke down, overwhelmed to have finally met Ru and to be living her dream and ugh, it was too precious. She then pulled herself together as everyone split up to work on their gowns. Even Baga, who managed to pull herself out of her funk. Blu and Cheryl approached Jujubee to talk about how much they love her, with Juju advising them to put up boundaries between themselves and their drag persona to help them not lose sight of themselves. Blu opened up about being so happy in drag that she started to question her gender identity, with Cheryl agreeing that she also had those thoughts and it is so hard to learn to listen to your voice and love yourself. Juju spoke about the polarity of being a queen, before Blu admitted that she used to think that she was trans but ultimately feels she lives somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum and was happy not to label things just yet..

Janey started to struggle with the sewing machine, unsure of her choices leading to Monique stepping in and quickly selling a concept and encouraging her to just slay it. While Baga hung in the corner, still smarting over the fact they have to sew.

Elimination Day rolled around with everyone putting finishing touches on their looks and beating their mugs, while Pangina finished off Baga’s look for her. Mainly because she doesn’t want anyone to embarrass them as a cast, which, understandable. Though Baga was so insufferable that even she started to regret trying to help. Cheryl opened up about how she buggered up her first look, so made an entirely new one overnight. Though the new one was also a mess. Like. It was so bad, it got the shady womp womp.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Daisy May Cooper on the judges panel as they opened the show with the Kitty Girl runway. Pangina was an avant garde royal, Egyptian cat and it was glorious. Janey took it one further as Cleo-catra, Cheryl was the sexiest snow-white cat while Juju wore a sexy gown with cats on her boobs, complete with feathered trim. Jimbo was the sluttiest liger to grace the planet while Baga was a demented Cheshire Cat, complete with scractching her worms off her hole on the runway. Which was iconic. Blu was a lilac alien cat, while Monique closed the show as a black lunar cat and well, it was stunning. Despite the lack of brown cow.

Pangina opened the Butch Queen runway looking glorious as Queen Liz hunting at Sandringham. Janey gave us sexy prisoner, Cheryl served flaming biker chick, Juju looked like a CEO and then Jimbo one-upped the biker looks having handlebars connected to her nips. And it was glorious. Baga gave demented soldier, Blu was a perfectly stunning strongest man while Monique was a leather daddy and well, my basement is positively flooded. And that was before we got the bum reveal.

On the You Wear It Well runway, Pangina was glorious in an architectural magenta gown. Janey slayed in a shimmering, icy bodysuit with a disco-inspired train while Cheryl tried her best to sell what she described as the worst outfit on the mainstage. Ever. Juju looked like shimmering, crinkled 70s curtains while Jimbo was perfection in a shimmering golden outfit with a slit all the way to her breastplate. Thanks to Pangina, Baga managed to pull something half-decent off while Blu looked like a disco-dream in a well made bodysuit. While Monique gave a sight in lime, though I’m not sure what sight that was exactly.

Ultimately Baga and Blu were sent to safety before the judges heaped praise on Pangina for everything she served, living for her versatility and her ability to serve comedy. Despite them wishing her designed look was full length. Janey was praised for three such distinct looks, with Daisy May Cooper flooding her basement for her Butch Queen while Michelle wasn’t sold on her Kitty Girl runway. Though she did admit that Janey’s designed look is the most likely one Ru would wear, which led to Janey thanking Monique for her help in front of everyone. 

Cheryl was praised for serving Marie from Aristocats on the Kitty Girl runway while her designed look was rightly read for being an absolute mess. Leading to her breaking down over how messy she was, before apologising for not giving her best. Juju meanwhile was read for being basic as Michelle essentially treated her like Pearl and told her to wake up. Though Ru told her she would actually wear the dress, while agreeing that it felt like Juju just hadn’t shown up yet. Jimbo rightly received universal praise, then full on impersonated Ru and ugh, it was so damn fun. Monique’s glorious first two looks received universal praise for all that she did, though her designed look was read for not hitting the mark. Which she agreed were the facts. Lol.

Jimbo rightly landed in the Top 2 for the second week running, this time alongside Janey while Pangina and Monique were deemed safe, leaving Cheryl and Juju up for elimination.

Backstage Janey was thrilled to get her redemption from the week before as Cheryl led everyone in praising their sisters for their win. Jimbo was thrilled to show she can serve a ball, and assured them she was even more fired up to win the lip sync. Baga asked Juju whether she was ok with what the judges said, with Jujubee agreeing that she hasn’t shown up and has kinda been bad. This lead to Monqiue questioning if that was all simply a strategy to coast by and not look threatening. Blu questioned whether Baga feels guilty about being safe, given that other people made her gown when Juju was in the bottom for something she did by herself.

Which, again, lol.

The dolls split up to deliberate with Cheryl pointing out to Jimbo that Juju has had so many chances and as such, she should be better than she’s been and as such, go home. Jimbo asked her whether she would send Jimbo home if she stumbled, with Cheryl assuring her she is the front runner and that is something that would stop Cheryl from sending her home. Juju meanwhile charmed Janey, reminding her that while she has been here multiple times before, this is a new competition and she still wants to fight hard. And admitted she would have Janey’s back if and when it was required.

The safe girls meanwhile agreed Cheryl was the worst, though Blu did reiterate the fact that Juju is here for the fourth time. Which to quote Art Simone, means nothing.

The dolls switched places with Cheryl reiterating her argument, with Janey admitting to us that she doesn’t know whether she should make her decision based on the competition or on whether someone has competed multiple times. Though given Cheryl felt Janey had a wall up, she was pretty sure she was in trouble. Meanwhile Juju was assuring Jimbo that she will do better if she keeps her around, wanting to see it to the end and most importantly, compete against the best. Juju then also assured Jimbo she would have her back should she stay.

Jimbo and Janey returned to the stage to battle for victory to a remix of Mama Ru’s Supermodel and well, Janey was not going to let Jimbo jag a win despite Jimbo vowing not to do the hokey pokey this time. While Janey was serving disco diva, Jimbo gave a parody performance of somebody at Studio 54 and while I lived for it, Janey’s polished perfection jagged her the win. And the right to send home one of the bottom girls, ultimately eliminating Cheryl from the competition. Most likely, for having another week of being mediocre.

Like a damn icon.

While Chez was heartbroken to have exited the competition, I quickly had her laughing it up at how iconic it was for her to once revel in her mediocrity. Despite being a total, absolute icon that is in no way mediocre. With that out of the way, Chez and I slipped straight back into our friendship, gossiping, joking around and most importantly, smashing a Banoffeeryl Toad in Hole in honour of her star power.

Like Chez, this little number proves that sometimes classics are just perfection. Banana and caramel are such a gorgeous combination, that this sweet twist on a Toad in a Hole can only fill you with joy. Squishy and oh so sticky, it is the only thing tasty enough to honour our Chez!

Enjoy!

Banoffeeryl Toad in a Hole
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 ⅓ cups flour
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 ½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp cinnamon
1 ⅓ cups milk
3 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 ½ cups Dulce de Nick Lachey
1 tbsp water
100g milk chocolate, roughly chopped
2 bananas, peeled and cut in half lengthways
Vanilla Ice Cream, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C. 

Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder and cinnamon in one bowl, and the milk, eggs and vanilla in another. Create a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and slowly whisk in the milky-eggs mixture until just combined.

Combine the Dulce de Nick Lachey and the water in the base of a baking dish to losen it up a bit. Pour the batter on top and then dot with the chocolate and bananas, cut side up.

Transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until the batter is just set. Serve immediately with ice cream and devour. In honour of sweet Chez.


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Baklava Vanillaty Milan Slice

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the top five were put through their sped-up paces in a timed, yes timed, Fugly Ball. To rub salt in Krystal’s Snatch Game-sized wound, the second category even featured an appearance by Charity Shop Sue who lent them some of her charity shop wears to turn their looks. Vanity’s first look wasn’t loved while Scarlett’s last two were deemed way too boring. On the flipside, Kitty was living her best life from start to finish and was finally reward with her first victory of the season. Vanity and Scarlett meanwhile were forced to lip sync, with the latter sadly going home. Screaming like Bimini in Beastenders (which aired after this was filmed, so no hate).

Backstage Kitty was literally shitting her pants with excitement, proudly strutting back in while Vanity screamed about the fact she got rid of Scarlett. Kitty meanwhile was shocked that Scarlett wasn’t going to be in the top while Krystal was proud about how damn killer Vanity was in the lip sync. Kitty pulled focused back to herself, thrilled to no longer get shade for not having a badge and ready to get another. She then asked who they think will be the next to go, with Kitty suggesting Vanity should start packing her bags though she rightly pointed out that she can definitely turn a lip sync and save herself, should she bottom again. Which Ella told her didn’t scare her because she has two badges and no bottoms, and girl, be careful, Ru doesn’t care about track records anymore. Just call my love Bimini.

The next day the dolls celebrated the fact that they are officially the top four of the season, thanks to the fact they dumped three in the last two weeks. Ella admitted that she was surprised she didn’t win last week, though was tolerating the fact it went to Kitty. After Krystal pulled a me and reminded everyone how young she is, Ru dropped by and surprisingly didn’t murder her. Instead, she tasked the dolls with starring in Ru’s low budget sci-fi blockbuster Bra Wars: The Fempire Claps Back. And given Kitty is the current reigning Miss Fugly, she was able to assign the roles to her sisters.

With that, Ru disappeared and the girls gathered round to read through the script with Vanity thrilled to show some diversity. Ella and Kitty meanwhile vied for the role of Brabara-ella, which Kitty obviously snapped up for herself. Krystal was debating between Darth Shader and Baby Yolo while Vanity desperately wanted the latter. Kitty then dropped the bomb that she was debating between being casting the dolls in safe roles or being shady. Instead though, she decided to open a casting agency and got the dolls to audition for her. Ella was obviously great, Krystal was a bit of a mess until she started doing accents while Vanity had zero accent game. As such, Darth Shader went to Ella with She-3P-Ho to be played by Krystal and Baby Yolo went to Vanity.

The queens quickly split up to run their lines and get ready, with Ella thrilled to be doing her day job though knew that that meant she would really have to bring it because the judges will be harder on her. Vanity meanwhile was terrified upon discovering she is just a head while Krystal was worried about getting her lines down as she has dyslexia. While Kitty and Ella were praising her on the other side of the room given she was essentially born to be a drag queen and they are confident she will do well.

Our thesbians joined Michelle on set to film the first scene with Kitty just hoping they do better than the commercials where nobody won. From the start Vanity struggled … to stick her head in the baby carrier. Kitty meanwhile struggled to get the line, ‘space nut milk’ which was delightful and hilarious. Poor Vanity was in her head until Michelle encouraged her to give more and ugh, I really hope it’s a fake-out edit and she is great. Ella meanwhile couldn’t hear or breathe, flubbing her lines and starting to get in her head and well, now I hope this is the fake-out edit. Krystal too struggled to get her lines down with Michelle stepping in and talking her through her concerns, telling her to take a breath and relax. Begging the question, whatever happened to Michelle Visage-berg?

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls sharing how difficult filming was before Krystal reminded them that half of them will be in the bottom and as such, they really need to bring it on the runway. As they split up to get ready, Kitty shared how safe she feels with the dolls while Ella opened up about feeling terrified about walking down the street in drag. She spoke about a few weeks earlier when somebody threatened to beat them up on their street, leading to the girls opening up about how they have been conditioned to not do PDAs and their traumas of people behaving badly towards them in drag.

Ru, Graham and Michelle were joined by zaddy Russell Tovey on the judges panel as the queens walked the Scenes Stealers Runway. Krystal was in a stunning black and white Cruella inspired number with a gorgeous red coat. Ella was the sluttiest Oompah Loompah known to man, Vanity gave us stunning BAPs realness while Kitty was gorgeously demented as Kate Winslet’s entry scene in Titanic. And well, it was iconic from start to finish. I mean, she dropped the necklace and Michelle questioned whether Jack could fit on her wood. Perfection all round.

We then watched the premiere of Bra Wars and gurl, there were fake-out edits galore because the foursome killed it. Kitty was demented and charming, Krystal was hilarious, Vanity was gloriously OTT and Ella was a campy delight.

The judges loved Krystal’s willingness to listen in the challenge with Michelle praising her growth while filming. And obviously they felt her look on the runway was perfection. Michelle pointed out that Ella started off nervous in filming but ultimately killed it, while the judges lived for her killer Wonka look. Vanity was praised for throwing everything at the wall in the role and making it a moment. And again, they lived for her runway despite the fact Michelle wanted more diversity from her. Rounding things out, Kitty received universal praise from start to finish, giving it her all and injecting all the comedy she could. In the challenge and on the runway.

Backstage the dolls toasted to their killer performance in the challenge with Kitty ready to hook up with Russell. As was Ella. And Vanity. Krystal meanwhile felt uncomfortable watching her performance, worried that while she got good critiques, she will likely be in the bottom. The dolls spoke about who would be lip syncing with everyone agreeing that Vanity and Krystal will be in the bottom, including Vanity and Krystal. Ella pointed out that Vanity has given a few similar runways but Vanity was still proud of how she performed. Ella and Kitty then started debating which one of them will take out victory and while Krystal felt it was rude, she wasn’t bothered because it was very obvious they did the best.

Given the judges were feeling all the love, Ru announced that instead of a bottom two this week, the top two would instead lip sync for the win – yay, finally its a good surprise to reward them for slaying! Well, after sending Vanity and Krystal to safety and making Kitty and Ella’s eyes bug out of their heads for shits and giggles. As such, Kitty and Ella were beckoned to the front of stage and forced to battle for victory to Girls Aloud’s Something New. And damn, did they fight! Ella was popping and dropping, selling sex all over the stage while Kitty was a damn fucking star. She hit every lyric, was camp and ridiculous, giving us everything we could want and more. And then Ella did a series of splits before humping the ground. And then Kitty rocked some death drops. And well, it was all perfect and I can totally understand why Ru gave them a double win. 

Because. They. Slayed.

Backstage the dolls were thrilled to have all survived the challenge and ready to continue slaying as the top four. Kitty and Ella admitted that they were shocked as the other dolls got called safe, though were glad to have a pleasant surprise. Ella rightly directed the dolls to their track records, pointing out that she has three wins to their 2-2-1, though Kitty did argue that her sash should count for something. Kitty then posed nude for Ella to draw her and damn, this is the Titanic I would have loved.

Note to self, is there a gay porn parody of Titanic? Because I need it.

The next day Ella was still feeling Kool Aid man with herself now that she has three badges, while Vanity pointed out that while she only has one badge she is killing it. Kitty joked that she plans to get to the end by winning challenges, while Vanity told her that she will always win a lip sync while Ella knows she will get to the end based on talent. As poor Krystal admitted that she is feeling a bit under the weather.

The dolls then had a clothed orgy which was interrupted by Ru who arrived to task the dolls with a roast for this week’s Maxi Challenge, where they roast themselves and the panel including guest judge Kathy Burke. Oh and they will be performing in front of their eliminated sisters, meaning they’re fair game for a reading too. And because Ella has the most wins, she is allowed to decide the order. As the dolls sat down to kiki, Krystal admitted that she is shitting herself while Kitty is ready to slay, while Ella is nervous about writing jokes and Vanity is ready to read herself and the colour orange.

Kitty asked the girls how hard they are going to go in during the roast, with her encouraging everyone to go hard because at the end of the day, they need to make people laugh. Oh and Krystal is ready to go in on Ru because she is always a good sport. Which you know is going to backfire. Ella asked the girls where they would like to go in the run before admitting to us that she plans to put the worst first so she can go second and slay, followed by the next worst and then close the show with a stronger person. Which is convenient since Krystal wanted to get it over with, Vanity requested a middle slot and Kitty wanted to open or close. As such, she decreed the order as Krystal, herself, Vanity and Kitty, which didn’t go unnoticed by the latter.

The dolls split up to start working on their sets with Kitty taking the role of cracking herself up, while Vanity admitted that she was struggling to go in on the judges as she only likes to tear herself down. Ella meanwhile was ready to lean into her dad jokes, which she finds hilarious and oh god, is she in danger?! Kitty turned everyone’s attention to the fact this challenge is what gets them to the final with her admitting that she will be destroying everyone because she is hungry for the win.

As they split up to beat their mugs, Vanity and Ella bonded over their childhoods with the former talking about how confident she was as a kid. Ella admitted that she had a very supportive upbringing, however dance school made her try and act more masculine. She then shared that Ella is how she taps into her feminine side and makes up for lost time. Vanity admitted that her femininity gets clocked all the time but she is grateful that her parents instilled confidence in her and were so supportive and ugh, I love them.

Meanwhile Kitty was loving how gorgeous she was looking.

But before we could explore her charming confidence, we headed to the mainstage where Ru, Michelle, Alan, Kathy, Anubis, Elektra, Victoria, Veronica, Charity, River, Choriza and Scarlett were waiting with bated breath for the roast. Krystal opened The Pearly Gates Roast by going in on Charity in a cute, charming way. She then made a tonne of age jokes that went over well before opening up about being a virgin, and then explaining what a virgin is to Michelle which should have been an easy laugh but was NOT. Krystal then made more age jokes at Veronica’s expense which opened up the audience roasting her as Veronica started heckling with Ru quickly jumping on the bandwagon.

Ella was charming and hilarious from start to finish, reading Anubis with glee and calling Veronica a threat to society. It was brutal, polished and damn, I love her. IT. WAS. PERFECTION. I mean, is this the best roast on Drag Race ever? Yes. The answer is yes. Scone or scone, the debate continues! Talk about being typecast?! They were stupid but so funny and charming. Poor Vanity never really stood a chance following Ella’s performance, though her read about her fellow sisters being the white supremes was great. Kitty completed Ella’s nefariously brilliant plan by also knocking it out of the park – she was self-deprecating, upbeat and hilarious. And brutal. So damn brutal.

On the Oh My Goddess Runway Krystal was stunning as a sun-crowned dream, golden and perfect. Ella was a frosty, icy delight in a constellation bodysuit. Vanity wore The Bodyguard version of Krystal’s look, Cleopatra and Queen of the Damned rolled into one. While Kitty was a flowing, Greek goddess in the most Kitty way possible. Krystal received praise for starting out strong and being charming, though read for sticking to age and whore jokes. And obviously, they loved her runway. Ella rightly received universal praise for literally everything this week, because there is no way she is damn losing this challenge. On the flipside Vanity was read for not going hard enough though both her looks were beloved. And then Kitty too received universal praise for killing the roast, despite being so reliant on her notes. And again, they loved her opera diva does Hercules look.

As the dolls untucked backstage they all agreed that Ella clearly has her fourth win in the bag as they toasted to making it to the top four. Kitty was thrilled by her feedback while Vanity and Krystal were proud for pushing through despite being so nervous and outside of their comfort zones. Their kiki was interrupted by a siren where we got a message from Ella’s boyfriend and more importantly, their gorgeous, angel pupper, who is now my lovely prince. Kitty’s parents were sweet and more importantly, their dogs are great and not interested. Krystal’s mum looks my age, so that is that and now I feel super old. Then Vanity’s sweet husband came on the screen and ahh, I ship them, he is so damn cute. Oh and then Ella told them all that they are family now too and argh, it is so lovely and sweet and I love it.

Obviously Ella took out a very well-earned, fourth victory with Kitty joining her to battle for the crown next week. That left a fired up Krystal and Vanity to lip sync for the final place to Dua Lipa’s Hallucinate. And damn, they were ready to earn their spot in the finale. Vanity was her usual killer self while Krystal was flicking her hair and serving the judges everything. There were synchronised splits, they hit every lyric and ugh, they proved why they made it to the top four. Though obviously, somebody had to go and poor Vanity’s luck finally ran out as Krystal went through to the finale.

Backstage, sweet Vanity was so thrilled to see me and to celebrate making it to the top four. I mean, yeah it sucks to know that you made it so close to the end, but that, as they say, what friends are for. You see, Vanity and I have been dear friends for years – I painted my bedroom orange when I was ten and she wore a couple of orange looks on the runway – so knowing that she had the love and support of one her closest was more than a win to her.

We laughed, we cried and then frankly, we got to work smashing the recipe of the season in the form of the gorgeously talented and stunning Baklava Vanillaty Milan Slice.

Velvety smooth custard, the crunch of the pastry and the punchy flavours of baklava combine to form the greatest of desserts. Sweet, earthy and honestly, stunning, there is no better way to honour such a talented queen.

Enjoy!

Baklava Vanillaty Milan Slice
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
⅓ cup pistachio kernels
⅓ cup walnuts
2 sheets frozen puff pastry, just thawed
20g butter, melted
½ tsp ground cinnamon
1 ½ cups cream
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups raw caster sugar
1 ½ cups milk
¼ cup cornflour
6 egg yolks
1 lemon, zested and juiced
2 tbsp honey
6 whole cloves
1 cinnamon stick
2 tbsp rosewater

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and grease a 10x20cm loaf pan, and lined the sides with baking paper, leaving an overhang. Finely chop the pistachio and walnuts and place them in a bowl.

Place the pastry on a baking sheet and brush with the butter. Sprinkle with cinnamon, followed by half of the nut mixture. Then a drizzle of the rest of the butter. Place in the oven and bake for five minutes. Remove from the oven, stab with a skewer and top with a second baking sheet to keep flat. Return to the oven to break for 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and let it cool completely.

While things get as chill as Cynthia Bailey post-wedding, stir the cream, vanilla, ¾ cup sugar and 1 cup of milk in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer before removing from the heat. Then combine the cornflour with the egg yolks and remaining milk in a jug. Whisk the two together and return the saucepan to a low heat and cook, stirring constantly, for five minutes or until nice and thick.

Cut each piece of pastry in half and place a rectangle, nut side down, into the loaf tin. Top with custard mixture, followed by pastry, custard, another slice of pastry, the rest of the custard and finishing with the pastry. Cover and pop in the fridge to set overnight.

When you’re ready to serve, combine the lemon juice and zest in a saucepan with the honey, cloves, cinnamon and ⅓ cup water. Cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves before cranking to high and simmering for 5 minutes, or until slightly thickened. Strain and allow it to cool.

To serve, decant the slice, carve, sprinkle with the remaining nuts and drizzle with the lukewarm syrup. Then, devour.


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David Voce de Leche and Pumpkin Cake

Baking, Cake, Dessert, Survivor, Survivor 41, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Jeffrey was inspired by Sasha Velour by way of my girl Whitney, getting so emotional as he welcomed us back to the majestic islands of Fiji for the OG Survivor. Oh but while it is the 41st season, he warned us all to be ready – not because the winners are coming for you – as the game has evolved while in lockdown and is shorter but more dangerous than ever. The first change being that only one tribe won the first immunity challenge, with Yase and Ua attending back-to-back tribal councils with Abraham and Sara becoming the first and second boots of the new era.

We checked in with Ua the next day where the tribe was still recovering from tribal council. Brad was paranoid about how quickly JD switched things up and as such, worried he could no longer trust him. And then when he spotted JD and Ricard heading off to get water together, he obviously ran along the beach to beat them to the well and eavesdrop. After hearing them innocently speak about him for a bit, he darted back to camp where Shan was now more concerned by Brad as an ally rather than worried by JD now being calm. Shan took that information back to Ricard, with him admitting that he said nothing bad and assuring her it was all good. Oh and that Brad needs to be the next to go.

Meanwhile at Luvu, Deshawn was growing tired as he desperately continued to try and start fire for the tribe. Eventually the iconic Naseer got sick of watching on, jumped in and got the fire started in no time at all. Immediately making the tribe love him, given they would probably die without him according to Sydney, the de facto proxy for the audience. Oh and we also learnt that grew up without electricity or running water in Sri Lanka but he was always happy and damn, I couldn’t love him more at this point.

We finally checked in on Yase where Tiffany was absolutely exhausted, sharing that she would give anything for even a cup of rice. Back at camp, Xander was busy trying to finish the shelter before he pointed out that Voce had been gone a long time to Liana. With that, they suggested they split up to try and find him, with Xander putting this time to use finding the ‘Beware’ advantage, which told him to accept the risks and do everything it says, or put it back and leave it for someone else. Obviously he took the risk and learnt that he had found one third of an idol which will only gain power if the same idol is found at both of the other camps. To activate it, he simply needs to say a weird phrase and wait for the other two to say theirs at the same immunity challenge and voila, they all get idols. Sadly for him, he won’t have a vote for the rest of the game unless the other two idols are found.

Knowing it is fairly dangerous, he pulled his closest allies Evvie and Voce aside to fill them in, with Voce nervous about now being down a vote. While Evvie was more concerned about Xander’s growing power and not wanting to go to the end with men and then have their game disregarded which always seems to happen on Survivor. With that, Evvie took that information back to their true allies, Tiffany and Liana, and damn Xander, you in danger girl.

The tribes joined up with Jeffrey over the ocean for the immunity challenge where someone would dive in and retrieve a key before bringing it back to two others who would race over a series of obstacles and then swim to the end where the other two people will unlock puzzle pieces, which they obviously use to solve. Oh and in addition to immunity for the first two tribes to finish, they will also get either a massive bundle of fishing gear or just enough fishing gear. 

Xander got Yase out to an early lead, though couldn’t retrieve his key on the first go giving Sydney time to take the lead for Luvu. Danny meanwhile made quick work of the obstacles for Luvu while Brad and Tiffany struggled on the balance beam. Eventually Brad made it to the end while Naseer continued to power Luvu ahead while Shan joined him in lapping Tiffany. While poor Liana waited for her turn on the obstacles for Yase, Luvu and Ua quickly worked through the puzzle before Tiffany finally made it to the end. Sadly for Yase, however, Liana couldn’t overcome the disadvantage as Erika powered through another puzzle and took out victory for Luvu while Ua took out second place, sending Yase back to tribal council.

As winners of the challenge, Luvu were given the power to send someone from Yase for a special journey, quickly sending Evvie before they learnt they could send someone from either of the remaining tribes, with Deshawn quickly volunteering to go.

Back at camp, Tiffany quickly apologised for costing the tribe so much time in the challenge though she was quietly confident that she would still be safe at tribal council, given she and the girls were planning on getting rid of Xander. Speaking of Xander, he and Voce were worried about the girls sticking together and saving Tiffany given there are no guarantees a swap will save the tribe from themselves. Knowing they were mildly screwed, Voce approached Liana to see if she would be willing to get rid of Tiffany with her quickly agreeing that after the challenge it makes sense. Sadly for him however, Liana took the information back to Tiffany and while she assured her she was safe, she was still nervous Tiffany would do something stupid and screw it up for them.

Meanwhile Evvie and Deshawn arrived on the same island as last week and they quickly bonded as they ventured to the top. Knowing Yase will be at a disadvantage come merge, Evvie got to work charming Deshawn so that they would have an ally moving forward. They then shared that there is no way they can risk their vote with tribal council coming up and as such, he can safely take the extra vote and know that they won’t screw him over if they work together moving forward.  We then learnt a bit more about Deshawn, who worked hard to overcome all obstacles to become a doctor before pivoting back to Evvie’s charm offensive. They started by explaining that they plan to boot Xander over Tiffany at the upcoming tribal council before explaining in detail how the idols work this season.

Evvie returned to camp with their vote intact – you’re welcome for the extra vote, Deshawn – and quickly explained that the rules of the journey were the same as last week. They then went for a walk to the well with the girls, quickly locking in the blindside on Xander before returning to the boys and assuring them that they will join them to get rid of Tiffany. While Evvie was chatting with the boys, Tiffany was suggesting they should get rid of Voce instead, given Xander may play his idol, given she just doesn’t want to believe the situation with the idols. While Evvie calmly tried to explain the situation to her, assuring her that they read the note and it is actually powerless, Tiffany’s paranoia started to get to them, given it will be difficult to navigate around, should they stay aligned with her.

At tribal council Tiffany spoke about how disappointed in herself she was in the challenge, admitting that in the moment, she wanted the world to swallow her up. Xander spoke about how raw and exhausting it is to live the Survivor experience. Voce likened it to being in surgery and implored the tribe to find the wound and save their lives. We then learnt that his drive comes from his hardworking mother. Liana admitted that where the ‘bleeding’ Voce was talking about varies from person to person and as such, they need to find who they trust. This inspired Tiffany to remind them that challenges aren’t the only part of Survivor and as such, they need to vote with loyalty in mind. Evvie spoke about the fact the tribes could switch tomorrow and as such, strength means nothing and that is why the decisions are tough. Xander agreed that there is so much unknown and as such, there could be no switch in which case, strength becomes that much more important.

With that the tribe voted and somehow Liana and Evvie bought into Tiffany’s fear, joining her to send Voce out of the game against all odds. As he wandered into Loser Lodge, I ran into his arms and immediately started crying uncontrollably. I mean, I didn’t want any of the tribe to go, but it was still heartbreaking to lose my dear friend Voce so early. You see, we first met while working together as interns at the hospital that inspired Shonda Rhime’s to write Grey’s Anatomy and became the fastest of friends.

David is kind, wise, calm and most importantly, is a total babe and as such, I was absolutely shook to see him go so soon. But after catching up and splitting a David Voce de Leche and Pumpkin Cake, everything seemed right with the world again.

I feel like I say it a lot, but Milk Bar is the greatest place on earth and every damn recipe is near perfection. Tragically, there isn’t any down under and as such, I need to try my best to recreate their cakes. And well, this one is pretty damn great! Earthy, sweet and oh so moist, this is the perfect way to mark a shocking early boot.

Enjoy!

David Voce de Leche and Pumpkin Cake
Serves: 2 dear friends or 16 normal people.

Ingredients
140g unsalted butter at room temperature
275g raw caster sugar
60g muscovado sugar
3 large eggs, at room temperature
110g buttermilk
75g grapeseed oil
1 tbsp vanilla extract
225g flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 ½ tsp kosher salt
2 tsp cinnamon
½ cup butterscotch chips
240g white chocolate
25g light corn syrup, warmed to soften
55g double cream, cold as possible
75g pumpkin puree
60g milk powder
1 tbsp cornstarch
55g unsalted butter, melted
1 cup Dulce de Nick Lachey
⅓ cup milk

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C and line a quarter sheet pan with baking paper.

Combine the 115g butter , 250g of the caster sugar and the muscovado sugar in the bowl of the stand mixer and cream on medium speed for about three minutes, or until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides and return to the mixer on low for a further minute before adding the eggs one at a time, allowing to mix for a further minute between each addition. Scrape down the side, crank to medium and beat for a further few minutes or until delicate and light.

Whisk the buttermilk, oil and vanilla in a jug and with the mixer on its lowest speed, slowly pour the buttermilk mixture in until it is all in and just combined. Scrape down the sides once again and then beat on high for five minutes or until homogeneous and airy.

Combine 185g of flour with the baking baking powder, 1 ½ teaspoons of cinnamon and a teaspoon of salt in a bowl. Fold the mixture through the wet ingredients before returning to the stand mixer on low for a minute or two, or until it is just coming together. Remove and fold through the butterscotch chips.

Pour into the lined sheet pan, smooth out the top and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until the cake is cooked through. Transfer to a wire rack to cool for half an hour before turning out and cooling completely.

Reduce the oven to 120C.

While the cake gets chill, combine 150g of white chocolate and 25g of butter in a microwave-safe bowl and gently melt in 15-second bursts, stirring after each go until velvety and smooth. Transfer to a blender or food processor and blitz while adding the corn syrup in a steady stream.

Once combined, add the heavy cream as the blender is still going until it comes together. It may look curdled for a bit, but it will come back together. Finally blend in the pumpkin puree, half a teaspoon of salt and the remaining cinnamon. Transfer to a bowl, cover and pop in the fridge to chill for a few hours.

Combine the 40g of the milk powder, the cornstarch and the remaining flour, caster sugar and salt in a bowl. Add the melted butter and mix with your hands – or a spatula if it is too hot – until it starts to come together into large clumps. Spread them out on a lined baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes, or until dry and sandy.

Melt the remaining white chocolate and leave to cool slightly.

Transfer the crumbs to a medium bowl and toss with the remaining milk powder and white chocolate for five minutes or until the clumps firm with the chocolate. Transfer to a baking sheet to set completely.

To assemble, cut the sheet cake into two 20cm circles and leave to the side. Using a 20cm cake ring lined with acetate, press the remaining cake crumbs into the base and soak with a third of the milk. Top with a third of the ganache, some crumbs followed by half of the dulce de leche.

Top with one of the discs of cake and repeat the process with the milk, ganache, crumb and ganache. Top with the remaining disc of cake, follow with the remaining milk and ganache before decorating with the remaining crumbs.

Cover, transfer to the freezer to set for a couple of hours.

When ready to eat, remove from the fridge, take out of the ring and acetate and leave to come to temperature for half an hour or so before devouring, joyously.


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Choc, Malt and Pecanubiscuits

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK, we were once again blown away by the talent, goopery and charm of 12 Bwitish dolls. None more so than Bimini, who is well on their way to becoming the drag Oprah or Beyonce, in my not-at-all-humble opinion. While I am a ride or die Bimini stan, all the queen’s bing, bang, bonged their way into my hearts and somehow pulled off an even better season than the first. Meaning this new batch of dolls have a lot to live up to if they want to join The Vivienne and Lawrence in the iconic pantheon of UK winners.

Speaking of which, first up was our tragically fallen Season 2 queen, Veronica Green who was green around the gills but thankfully no longer COVID stricken and ready to slay in full. And even mocking her drag race for being dead boring. She was quickly joined by Kitty Scott-Claus who has the greatest drag name of all time and I absolute live for her. Kitty is lyf, Kitty is love, she is the moment – I LIVE. Just as I wondered whether she was the second coming of Chez, she goes and mentions they work together and ugh, I love the girls. River Medway arrived, apparently full of shit and I love her too. Despite not being well known which is exactly how she likes it, given she will be underestimated.

Scarlett Harlett arrived and immediately slayed my heart, calling the Werk Room a piece of shit and well, she is a power twink and I want to borrow the flanno. We also have a lot in common. And by that, a passion for being bred. Vanity Milan arrived as a technicolour delight, charming, energetic and so happy. Second best drag name, Ella Vaday, arrived in full fembot realness, a West End babe and again, I love her. Choriza May was up next with the best entry line of all time and well, shut it down and give her the damn crown. I mean, her fave part about Newcastle is her boyfriend’s dick – what more is there to love?

Our first AFAB queen arrived in the form of Victoria Scone and ugh, I love her too. She is a little nerdy, so excited and well, has a strong vagina and that alone is why you should love her. She is grabbing the opportunity by the flaps, after all. They were joined by little twink Elektra Fence who got her name from literally touching an electric fence and falling in shit. So, wait for it, again, I love her. Next up was the delightfully cartoonish Anubis who is wacky and wild and well, she is just perfect. Krystal Versace was up next and is the poster of what kids that grew up with visibility look like, she is fierce, confident and I feel proud of her, for some odd, old-man reason. And then rounding out the cast is the demented and devilish Charity Kase and well I love her, for the murdered Maria Antoinette realness she served.

The dolls were interrupted mid-kiki by Mama Ru who arrived to officially welcome them to the competition … with a game of dirty charades. And well, given Choriza has no idea what that is, she is thrilled to participate. First up were Kitty, Ella, Chorizo and Scarlett with nobody getting Kitty trying to sign ‘booty’ before Choriza gagged everyone by getting it right. She then got the next point as well and damn, I’m so proud. River, Vanity, Elektra and Veronica were up next and well, Veronica struggled but honestly, she had the hardest clue. Anubis, Charity, Krystal and Victoria rounded out the game, and well Victoria slayed it, having Ru in hysterics from start to finish.

With that out of the way, Ru tasked the queens with bringing two runways to help the judges to get to know them. One explaining why they are the queen of their hometowns and the other dedicated to something they love. As the dolls de-dragged, Ella was falling over, Kitty was getting her wet titties slapped, Anubis was checking whether Victoria was comfortable and Krystal was going through her plastic surgery. River meanwhile opened up to Vanity about her supportive mother who tragically passed away from COVID, sharing that she would be wearing one of her mother’s outfits and ugh, I’m crying. River is life.

Elimination Day arrived, with the queens quickly splitting up to beat their mugs. Veronica opened up to Kitty about not needing to prove herself this time, which has taken a weight off her shoulders. Vanity and Choriza opened up to each other about their partners, with the latter talking about how lonely she has been during the pandemic as her boyfriend works away and coming into the competition made her feel so good by simply being around others. And then all the kumbaya was shattered as my love Kitty asked who people thought would be going home, with Victoria more nervous about proving herself as the first AFAB queen.

On the Queen of Your Hometown runway, Victoria slayed as a bloomin’ sunflower. Kitty was a chocolate cheerleader, Ella was a camp, mod delight and Anubis was gorgeous as a Brighton carnival ride. River slayed as a statue with a traffic cone on her head doing the same pose, having the judges – and me – in absolute hysterics. I mean, iconic, charming – RIVER IS MY FAVE. Krystal was a gorgeous, garden delight, looking like baby Raven, Veronica was killer in cotton while Scarlett slayed dotted in pearls, Elektra served coal miner realness, Vanity slayed in a Jamaican inspired, frilly delight, Choriza looked like Kita Mean in her All Blacks look and Charity was a stunning, demented rose.

On the My Favourite Things runway, Victoria scone was an iconic high tea, complete with a dropped sandwich. Kitty served ABBA realness, Ella was a vision in a patchwork of pride, Anubis was wacky as a squid, River was a disco diva, Krsytal was the glow-up of Gothy’s 50P face-paint, Veronica was a bright, delight in honour of video games, Scarlett too was dedicated to music, this time in a cheeky mini. Elektra Fence marked her birthday, jacked up on sugar in the most demented, demonic way possible. Vanity honoured Estonia, Chorizo was a bright pop-art delight while Charity was horrifically polished in honour of freak shows.

Ultimately Kitty, Ella, Veronica, Vanity, Chorizo and Charity were sent to safety before Victoria received universal praise for everything she brought to the runway. Anubis meanwhile was praised for her hometown look, though the favourite things runway was read for filth for being basic and a little sub par. River’s statue walk was loved by the judges, despite them not understanding WHY she was being so funny. Sadly though, her second outfit was deemed underwhelming, though Ru freely admitted that had she added her now signature pose, she would have been safe. Krstal meanwhile received universal praise for both looks while Scarlett was praised for selling two vastly different looks. While poor Elektra was read for not going far enough in the hometown look, though praised for being wacky in the second runway.

Meanwhile the safe girls were glad to be safe, though Vanity was looking forward to topping soon. Apparently. Charity was a bit disappointed to not be in the top, though glad to be safe. Talk turned to the tops and bottoms, with them speculating Scarlett would be in the bottom while Victoria would definitely be in the top. Speaking of which, the girls arrived with Scarlett talking about how much the judges lived for Victoria. The girls asked Scarlett what the judges felt about her, with them gagged that she was clearly in the top. With Charity going so far as to call her basic. Elektra felt she got the worst critiques while River just wasn’t sure who would be safe out of the three of them. Poor Anubis broke down, disappointed that she couldn’t explain her sea animal look to the judges, given it was a dedication to her dad since the last time she saw him, they went to an aquarium. Which is heartbreaking and I love her.

The queens returned to the mainstage where Ru announced that the top two queens would be lip syncing for victory in addition to the bottom two lip syncing for their lives. Scarlett however was not one of them, with Victoria and Krystal first up to battle for the win to Total Eclipse of the Heart by Queen Bonnie Tyler. But more importantly, I just got the pun of Victoria’s name. It was a battle from the very first bars as Krystal served killer, sexy lip sync while Victoria was a hilarious icon, chucking sandwiches and stripping off platters before falling to her knees. Ultimately though, it was Krystal that took out the first win of the season while poor Victoria looked like she was holding back tears.

The trio of bottoms were next up with River’s charm and personality enough to save her from the lip sync, leaving Anubis and Elektra to battle it out to Little Mix’s ‘Sweet Melody’. Anubis gave camp, glamour and hit every lyric, however that was tragically not enough compared to Elektra who straight up bounced and flipped around the stage, hitting every letter and serving all the emotion in the most demented way possible. As such, she saved herself and poor Anubis found herself following in Gothy and Joe Black’s footsteps.

Thankfully Boris Johnson was compelled to let me in – blackmail, what blackmail? – so I was able to be there for my dear friend Anubis in her time of need. I first met Anubis down in Brighton – aka the kiss of death for a UK queen – and was blown away from her talent and charm. And as you know, when I sniff out talent, I immediately hitch my wagon to them and vow to be their bestest friend ever. Meaning I felt it was only appropriate to pull Anubis in for a hug, remind her how damn talented she is and give her a big batch of Choc, Malt and Pecanubiscuits to celebrate her success.

Sticky, sweet and oh so perfect, these Donna Hay inspired numbers are the perfect way to dull the first boot pain. The crunch warms your heart, the gooey chocolate soothes your soul and the milo is well, milo. So buckle in and eat up!

Enjoy!

Choc, Malt and Pecanubiscuits
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
200g unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 cup muscovado sugar
¾ cup raw caster sugar
2 eggs, 1 separated
1 tbsp vanilla extract
¼ tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarb soda
1 tsp water
2 cups flour
¾ cup malt powder (aka Milo)
¼ tsp kosher salt
200g dark chocolate, roughly chopped

Method
Preheat the oven to 160C.

Beat butter and sugars in a stand mixer for 5-10 minutes, or until sandy. Add a whole egg plus the extra yolk with the vanilla extract and beat on high for two minutes.

Meanwhile combine baking powder, bicarb and water in a little bowl and fold through the wet ingredients with the flour, malt powder and salt. Return to the mixer and beat on low until just combined.

Remove from the mixer and fold through the chocolate and pecans.

Roll ¼ cup dollops of batter into balls and flatten on a lined baking sheet, leaving plenty of space for the inevitable spread. Transfer to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Repeat until done, then devour.


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Custard George Mladanish

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Dessert, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the final three met Jonathan in the middle of the elephant’s graveyard from The Lion King to find three torture devices from a Saw movie. Apparently this wildly unexpected crossover wasn’t a sign of things to come for Disney, but instead the final immunity challenge for Brains v Brawns. After hours and hours of standing on pegs beneath a bed of nails, Flick finally fell out of the challenge and handed Hayley immunity and the chance to select who she would face off against in the final two. And despite pleading a strong case at tribal council, found herself heading out of the game as the final juror.

The final two awoke on Day 48 to find a bounty of food and champagne, with Hayley admitting that voting out Flick was the hardest thing she has had to do all season. She then reflected that while George has played a strong strategic game, she has also managed to play a physical game as well as outwitting people and to top it off, didn’t rub people the wrong way like George did. And well, she is ready to take out victory and take control of her life after years dedicated to study.

George meanwhile was shocked that the person that was so close to being an early boot had made it to the end of the competition, ready to pitch his case to the jury. George was proud of his strong strategic game and hoped that he would be rewarded so that he could pay off his parents debts and let them enjoy their retirement, which is just so damn warm and fuzzy I can’t even stand it. He reflected on having a target on his back the entire time and was ready to remind every juror that his game is why they’re all sitting on the bench.

Which honestly, is never a great way to win votes.

At final tribal council George kicked things off and was far more charming than I thought he would be, talking about how he has been overcoming his own fears all game. And speaking of the game, his first play was to sow controlled chaos in his tribe to work around the fact he was clearly in the bottom. After the tribe swap, he knew to fall in line with the Brawns before flipping back to the Brains come merge, given there was no way he was ever getting to the end with the others. He was passionate, articulate and well, Hayley’s nervous face said it all as the jury smiled with George talking about leading the Brains from a minority to the majority and that he fought tooth and nail all season.

And, obviously, he told them that he is ready for his crown.

Hayley’s nervous face made way for a cheeky smile, sharing how proud she is of her game. Not to be outdone by George, she went all the way back to Joey’s boot, taking full credit for the move to flip Wai and Baden to get rid of him and pointed out it was the turning point in the game. She then spoke about her idol heroics on the post-swap Brawn tribe, highlighting her ability to trust in new allies to pull off the blindside on Simon. Oh and the Kez boot? Yeah, yeah – George told her to play the idol for Laura, but she is the one that successfully executed the plan. She then acknowledged the fact she was booted from the game but fought her way back and how she used that weakened target to find her footing and dominate the end game.

Jonathan flipped things over to the jury with Laura assuring both Hayley and George that she is undecided on who to vote for. She asked George what he learnt about himself during the game, with him admitting that he now knows that he can do anything he puts his mind to, given nobody expected him to get to this point. He also learnt that he is great at eavesdropping. Cara meanwhile asked Hayley if she planned to lie and deceive or whether it was just natural. Hayley knocked it out of the park, admitting that that is not only part of the game but also her job, given that as a researcher you have to convince people that placebos are actually real. And those skills were great for her game.

Andrew asked whether either of them have regrets in the game, with George thrilled that everything got him to this point and as such, he was good. Hayley meanwhile regretted the way she outed George as the double agent early in the merge, as it landed her on redemption. This led to Dani jumping in and asking why Hayley lied at the outback spa, with Hayley perfectly outlining that she was scared at what Dani would do if she felt that Hayley wasn’t with her and as such, she had to lull her into a false sense of security for her own safety. Which seemed to make Dani happy, assuring both Hayley and George that she is an undecided voter and she wants to see them both own all of their lies.

Gerald meanwhile asked George and Hayley who they would align with should the game restart with the jury, with George hilariously saying none of them while Hayley said that she was confident she would be able to work with all of them again.

Dani returned for her legit question, asking George why he habitually gave up in the challenges when he knew half of the jury value physicality given they were on the Brawn tribe. And well, it is literally a third of the motto. George defended himself, saying that he knew that his lack of athletic ability was his weak point and as such, he just wanted to focus on the things he could do well. Flick asked Hayley while they never worked together, with Hayley circling back to the Simon blindside and wanting to work with Flick but she never joined her at the merge. Then at the final seven, she only went with George, Cara and Wai because she knew that would give her the easiest path to winning her way to the end. Flick meanwhile asked George about his lies, with him admitting that he dominated strategically and only lied in the hope of getting further.

Emmett meanwhile asked George why he decided to lie and be strategic in such a brash way, explaining that he upset everyone on their way out the door and asked whether he would play the same game if he had his time over. George tried to get Emmett to focus on the game he did play rather than hurt feelings, with Emmett doubling down that that is not what he was asking before George eventually admitted that he wouldn’t play the same again. But I think between the lines, he meant that he wouldn’t get away with the same game twice. Which is super true. Hayley was meanwhile asked how her game differed from George, expertly pointing out that she is the most well rounded player, given she was not just strategic, she was also social and an absolute beast in the challenges.

Tragically Wai and Baden’s questions were cut – or I had a microsleep – before the jury cast their votes and Jonathan wheeled out Hayley and George’s loved ones to read the votes. While things were quickly tied at two a piece, the rest of the votes piled up on Hayley, as she took out victory and the title of sole survivor. Leaving the poor cockroach to join me for a meal to perk him back up as she celebrated.

As the giant sparklers were still going off in celebration of Hayley’s win, I pulled my heartbroken friend – let’s say, we’re both political operatives shall we – aside and intensely told him that the fact he even made it to the end was a shock. Because he played a bold, dominant game and had a target on his back the entire time. He and Hayley both played hard and arguably were our strongest final two ever, both nailing final tribal council and as such, he should sit back, relax and enjoy a Custard George Mladanish like the champion he is.

Like George, this little number is surrounded by a crispy outer shell but inside is nothing but warm, sweet, delicate and soft. Needless to say it is delicious and the perfect way to mark a game well played.

Enjoy!

Custard George Mladanish
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
4 eggs, 3 separated and 1 whole
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
¼ cup cornflour
2 cups milk
3 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed
⅔ cup flaked almonds

Method
First up, start by making your custard. If you have your own preferred recipe, go with that, otherwise keep reading. The most important part is it being firmer. Whisk the three yolks with the caster sugar, vanilla and cornflour in a bowl. Slowly whisk in the milk, quarter cups at a time, until you have a smooth, velvety texture.

Transfer to a saucepan and over medium-low heat, cook, whisking constantly for five minutes or so. Or until the mixture starts to thicken. Keep cooking for a further minute while bubbling away before removing and transferring to a bowl. Cover with cling (directly on top to avoid a skin forming) and leave to cool completely.

While it gets chill, preheat the oven to 180°C. 

Using two of the sheets of pastry, line the base and of a loose based, 35cm rectangle fluted tart tin and trim off excess pastry.

Place the tin on a baking sheet, line and weight the tart tin and blind bake for ten minutes, or until golden around the edges. Remove the weights and bake for a further five minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.

Drop the oven temperature down to 170°C.

Once both the shell and custard are cool, pour the custard into the shell, sprinkling with half the flaked almonds throughout because I love almonds. Cut the remaining sheet of pastry into strips and plait over the top to form as intricate lattice as you can be bothered with.

Whisk the remaining egg and sprinkle over the remaining almonds. Transfer the danish to the oven and bake for 15-30 minutes, or until golden and heated through. Remove from the oven and allow to rest before carving and devouring.


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