Thirteenth Place

Mater Grinstot-Maylffles

Breakfast, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 44, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the three tribes were sitting pretty, confident in the fact they could ride things out to the merge together before starting the next phase of their battle royale. Sadly for them, the producers opted to give us a little format tweak and after sending Jaime, Carson and Josh to journey island, they found themselves returning to a new tribe each. And while that kinda sucked for them, they didn’t go alone, each gifted a hidden immunity idol which would last up until the merge. After Tika tragically lost another immunity challenge, Yam Yam, Sarah and Carolyn were ready to kick Josh to the curb. Well, until Yam Yam and Carolyn started feuding over the latter always being the decoy name, leading to Carolyn flipping to work with Josh to blindside Sarah instead.

Back at camp Yam Yam and Carolyn bickered back and forth about tribal council, with Yam Yam trying to get her to understand that he would have done what she wanted at tribal council if she just told him, while she in turn argued it didn’t seem like that. And told us that she felt more like Yam Yam was upset about being left out, rather than not being told. She explained that she had been made to feel like the third turd of the alliance, before the duo admitted they were just kinda sad that they had issues, questioning if they would be able to move on and come back together. Josh on the other hand was thrilled to have survived against all the odds.

We visited with Ratu the next day where Matthew started to break down to Kane about how much pain he has been in, unsure how he will be able to push through the rest of the game. Kane meanwhile was the absolute sweetest, talking about how proud of him he is as Matthew started to cry again. He also got teary when talking about it to Carson by the well and ugh, I hate where this is going because it feels like this is going to be Kaoh Rong 2.0. Carson meanwhile was thrilled by how much headway he has made within the tribe before he and Kane bonded over being so nerdy and ugh, I just love them both. So, so much.

Checking in with Soka, Danny was leading them through some breathing exercises and just like Kane and Carson, I love him. Because he is so much kookier than you’d expect from a challenge beast. We then learnt that he has a four month old at home and ugh, my basement is flooded. Jaime meanwhile was living for their vibe and so grateful to have landed on Soka, though knew she was clearly on the bottom. As such, she went off with Matt for a wander through the jungle, chatting away, despite Jaime being frustrated by how slowly he is playing the game. She then approached Frannie to let her know she can not read him, with Frannie thrilled she clearly hasn’t figured out how close they are, meaning she can get a read on things and protect him. Given they are clearly falling in love.

Things were still tense over at Tika with Yam Yam asking Josh to stop being angry with him so they could have a fun day. And while he said they could, he kept giving Yam Yam the bitch face – his words – and that annoyed him. But bless, he kept trying. Josh meanwhile was upset because he felt like Carolyn and Yam Yam reuniting may be inevitable and as such, needed to protect himself. He lied to Yam Yam about having a second idol, showing him the note from his last idol to get it over the line. They then bonded over being gay, sharing their childhoods and coming out stories, and well, this is 100% the kind of thing that is more likely to save both of them. Josh meanwhile felt he was sitting pretty now, have bonded with each of them and just needing to decide who to target should they lose the next immunity challenge

Right on cue, the tribes reunited with Jeffrey for said challenge where they would be tethered together and race with a bucket of water over a series of obstacles to release a gate. And then two would solve a table maze, with the first two tribes immune and the loser going to tribal council. Oh, and once again, the victors would get to choose who goes on the next journey. Tika got out to an early lead – YAS – with Ratu nipping at their heels, while Soka fell behind. Everyone evened up at the gate however, so it came down to a race on the table maze with Soka whipping through it and landing their first ball with Ratu nipping on their heels. On their second ball, Soka dropped it, giving Ratu the lead as Tika continued to fall further behind. They raced to take out the win for the extra power with Ratu jagging it just ahead of Soka, while Tika would return to tribal council. Ratu then quickly locked in Brandon as the person from their tribe heading on the journey, with Danny going from Soka and Carolyn from Tika. 

Jeff then ominously called in medical to review Matthew’s injury, as he opened up about how he feels like he just can’t recover and the environment of the game isn’t helping. Probst then told him how strong he had been for his tribe, while Matthew was left to figure out what to do.

We checked in on Yam Yam and Josh back at camp where the latter spoke about wanting to hang on to his idol if he could, as the duo promised to work together. Yam Yam then talked smack about Carolyn, saying she is way more strategic than she appears, warning him that she needs to go ASAP. While Josh was just concerned about what Carolyn’s journey may mean for the game.

Speaking of the journey, the trio arrived at the island where they discovered that rather than an advantage they would instead be enjoying a feast at The Sanctuary to encourage them to talk about the season thus far. Carolyn meanwhile was thrilled to be smashing food, despite the fact she still has to contend with tribal council tonight. She opened up to the boys about Josh’s idol from the swap, inadvertently letting them know that Jaime and Carson also have one. Brandon and Danny then locked in an alliance post-merge, with Carolyn hilariously questioning whether they are including her in this, given they were literally talking as if she wasn’t even there. Though given it blessed us with some hilarious reaction shots from her and made her angry when they kept discounting her, it means we could be in for a Shonee-esque revenge arc. Which is always a good thing.

She ventured back to camp where the boys met her on the shore and quickly told them how much she doesn’t want to work with the bro-alliance, signing to Yam Yam that they need to work together as Josh is likely to go with them. And while he felt it was hilarious, he was glad to have his Carolyn back. She told both of them about the meat brigade which is forming, pointing out Josh was included in their plans and that she was told she would be in the alliance if she saved him. This spooked Josh, who pointed out that he has an idol so it isn’t even a question at this point – it is though – before Carolyn wisely asked to see it. And while Yam Yam assured her he had seen the note, when he whipped out the fake, Yam Yam immediately pointed out the beads actually came from treemail. While Carolyn realised it was literally the same note she read two days ago. Oh and then it came apart in Yam Yam’s hands, and he and Carolyn burst out laughing.

The boys spoke about the fact Carolyn may still have an advantage, while Josh pushed to get her out because he is scared she will rally a counter alliance to the bro alliance he isn’t even in. We then learnt a little about Josh’s life which frankly sounds quite horrific, given how many medical emergencies he has experienced and now I need them to protect our zaddy at all costs. Yam Yam meanwhile wasn’t sure who to trust, catching up with Carolyn who pledged her undying loyalty, knowing that the other options out there are frankly crumby. And while he wants to trust her again, he doesn’t really know he can trust either of them.

Before he had to make a decision, Jeffrey arrived on their shores to let them know that tribal council will not be going ahead due to Matthew having to leave the game because of his shoulder injury. And while it breaks my heart for our plant zaddy king, I am glad the Tika trio live to see another day. Since I now also love Josh and his apparent goal to be the US’ Simon, aka suffering from a case of severe bottomness.

I was a wee bit surprised to see Matthew arrive at Loser Lodge in broad daylight, though I put that aside to pull him in for a gentle hug and tell him how heartbroken I am to see his injury take him out of the game. It was so sad to see someone so excited to be in the game and then have that excitement ultimately become their undoing, particularly someone like Matthew who had already proven himself adept at the game. I assured him that like Bruce before him, I will demand to Jess that he gets a second shot, however the tragedy is that like Nina on HvV, he is now at a disadvantage since everyone will know just how good he is at the game. But I guess that’s what our strategy session was for, over some Mater Grinstot-Maylffles.

Sure, the name may not roll off the tongue as much as I would like, however I was in a rush to throw something together due to his surprise exit and wanted to gift him a perfect recipe. Which is exactly how I would describe tater tot waffles. They may just be throwing tots in a waffle iron, but the magical transformation as they cook is breathtaking. Crunch and glorious, they are equally as perfect with bacon and eggs or as the basis of a burger. Aka, they can do no wrong.

Enjoy!

Mater Grinstot-Maylffles
Serves: 2 queer icons, with long hair and a passion for flannel.

Ingredients
500g tater tots (or Potato Jems, as they are known in Australia)

Method
If you’re using store bought gems, allow them to defrost completely otherwise allow the gems to cool if you’ve made them from scratch.

When you’re ready to go, line the games within a waffle iron, close it and place over a medium heat to cook for about five minutes, or until crispy. Flip the iron and repeat for a further few minutes to crisp. Transfer to a plate and repeat the process until done.

That’s it. Well, other than devouring, of course.


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Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Party Food, Snack, Tapas, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Simon broke down after voting out his friend Jordie, which annoyed the hell out of Liz, who was actually aligned with Jordie. Obviously Nina saw the growing tension, getting into Liz’s ear and making an alliance to go to the end with her. And even Sam became likeable, after announcing that he too wanted to align with Liz. At the immunity challenge, Shonee and George were gutted to learn about the Jordie boot, so hilariously threw the challenge in an obvious fashion. Since everyone thought Flick was given Simon’s immunity idol, the OG Villains decided to vote for Ben given it was unlikely they’d play it for him. Which was the correct assumption as Flick was crushed to learn the idol she played for Matt was a fake – and that she was potentially played – while Ben was tragically booted from the game.

Back at camp Flick was well and truly feeling like a goose, though Matt was feeling good that she at least wanted to protect him. George asked her for the background on everything that went down, with Flick immediately assuming Simon was coming for her as revenge for their first season. And given George is iconic, he obviously agreed with her as the new Heroes tribe all raged about how terrible of a player Simon is. And you best believe Flick is planning to channel a little bit of George at the next challenge and completely blow up his game.

The next day Flick was still completely enraged, assuring George that she will never work with Simon ever again. They spoke about how stupid his plan was to give a fake idol, with Flick explaining that Shaun had even seen the idol and didn’t realise it was fake. Which led to them all explaining it isn’t hard, given what David did to him in his first season. Knowing the merge was imminent, George realised he needed to pull in another person and as such, approached Matt to come over to the Villains and take control. And while Matt didn’t immediately sign up for it, he did say that if he aligns with them, you best believe he is with them till the end. Matt then asked who would be the first target if he joined them, with Shonee smartly telling him they would vote out whoever he wanted. Oh and then when Matt proposed he bring one other person with him, Shonee agreed a buy one get one free would be ok to her. Like an icon.

Over at the Villains they were blissfully unaware that Simon was about to be destroyed, as Hayley diligently worked while Simon felt he was living the hero’s life. Since he gave up the idol and showed he was a man of his word and now, he will live out his dream and make the merge. And oh god, I feel bad for him. Liz meanwhile was thrilled to have secured a majority on the tribe alongside Nina, Dave and Sam, with Simon the number one target on her hitlist. And she is ready to give him a reality check ASAP. She pulled him aside to show off her idol, asking if he would be willing to show his and instead of saying he gave it away, he told her he isn’t sure he can trust her enough to do that. She then immediately called him out for giving up his idol and turning on Jordie and let’s just say, he could not handle it.

Liz ventured back to camp as Simon tried to clear the air, while she straight up destroyed him, asking him to explain what happened to the idol while everyone in camp watched just how good she can be. Concerned about how angry she was with Simon, Dave approached her to check in and see how she was doing, unsure how to manage her emotions should they return to tribal council. And while he pushed for Simon to go, she pointed out that nobody trusts him or wants to work with him, and as such, getting rid of a real threat like Hayley makes even more sense.

The tribes came together with JLP at the beach where the new Villains spoke about how glad they were to see Ben go – fucking vom – before Flick agressively came for Simon. Much to his absolute shock. As everyone turned on him, he tried to reiterate how he believed it was an idol with George and Flick calling him out for lying before George pointed out that Simon has no idea what is going on. And Shaun got played by being handed a fake idol not once, but twice.

As is becoming tradition, let’s get back to the reward challenge though, where the tribes would face off one on one to climb a net and grab a ring before trying to land it on a post, with the first tribe to 3 winning a massive Chinese banquet. First up were Matt and Shaun with the latter making quick work of things and taking out the first point for the Villains. Stevie was up next against Liz and while the Olympian was first to the net, Stevie took out the lead and scored the point without even wearing his glasses. Like an icon. Simon and George then faced off in a grudge match, with Simon getting to an early lead before knocking off his ring and allowing George to toss it off course. To quote JLP, it became the battle of the tossers with Shonee pointing out Simon has it in the bag. And he did, after throwing George’s ring off the course to boot. Next up were Sam and Flick, with Flick using the time to suggest the Villains throw the next immunity challenge to get rid of Simon because he is a snake and ugh, I love her. Oh and then Sam won the reward for the Villains. Eventually.

Back at camp the Villains were gagged to see just how epic their banquet was as they filled up their plates with food as everyone joked about the fortune cookies having a clue to the hidden immunity idol. Which you know will be the case. Everyone went quiet as they smashed their food before Sam – again, do I love him? – asked if they should address the Simon shaped elephant in the room, with him immediately copping to the fact he just assumed it was an idol without paperwork. And while nobody believed him, I feel bad, because he can’t help being trolled by production. He apologised for the situation – his stupidity – while Liz said that she was told it just looked like a piece of wood. While everyone looked completely enraged, as Shaun spoke about how gutted he was for Flick, given it could have humiliated her. Simon tried to play it cool and offered a chance for everyone to talk to him, with Sam admitting he probably would have been fooled too and while he assured them it was done for the betterment of the tribe, they clearly didn’t buy it.

While Simon tried to apologise to everyone, Sam reminded him he probably should be apologising to Flick. Shaun though wisely pointed out to us that he swore on his kids life in exchange for an idol and since it wasn’t one, the deal is off. And since the new Heroes want him gone, he got to work rallying everyone to throw the challenge and make their dreams come true.

The tribes reconnected with JLP for the immunity challenge where one on one they would race out to a station to memorise symbols and recreate the sequence, with the first tribe to three taking out immunity. After Simon sat out – what, bro?! – Shaun elected to face off against George with Shaun pretending to be stupid long enough to let George take out the first point. Next up Liz – out of the loop – tied things up against Shonee before Hayley took things slowly against Stevie, who put the Heroes out in front once again. As Flick and George quietly whispered about the Villains clearly throwing it. Oh and then Nina and Gerry faced off, with King Gerry taking out the win. Just as everyone but Simon wanted. 

Back at camp the tribe danced around the fact they threw the challenge, with Hayley thrilled by how easy it will be to get rid of Simon. Sam being Sam, he checked in with Simon to talk feelings as Shaun, Dave, Nina and Hayley caught up about splitting the vote between Simon and Liz, with a single vote thrown on Sam for safety. Simon caught up with Shaun, happy to offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb in a split between himself and Liz. And while he was nervous, he knew he had to roll with it if he wanted to last much longer in the game. But obviously, Simon gonna Simon, pulling Liz aside to see what she knew, with her simply suggesting he look for a real idol. Hayley and Sam meanwhile caught up, with the latter suggesting someone else needs to have a vote put on them, worrying that it would once again be him.

As such, Sam caught up with Shaun to see what was happening and somehow, he saw it was all bullshit. He then pulled Nina aside to see what was actually happening, given Shaun’s story wasn’t adding up. With Nina quickly spilling the beans on the plan for Sam to be the sacrificial lamb should both the OG Villains have an idol, before the duo flipped the script on Hayley and locked in a vote for their secret alliance with Dave and Liz to get rid of the only winner on the cast. Nina pulled Liz aside to tell her Shaun and Hayley’s plan, which she was obviously not keen on, so she immediately locked in Nina and Sam’s plan to blindside Hayley instead. 

At tribal council Simon spoke about how terrified he was after being destroyed by Flick and Co, before questioning JLP on what exactly he pulled out of the cookie jar. With Jonathan thrilled to point out he only found a clue to which coconut had an idol under it. With Hayley wisely asking if that meant the idol had already been found. Thankfully for Simon – if you’re a fan – he felt vindicated that the producers confirmed he didn’t do it to spite anyone. Liz spoke about how tight the OG Heroes are and how disappointed she was to not be able to find an in, as David winked at her for playing the part so well. Simon turned things back to himself, pointing out he is now a gun for hire and as such, people need to use him when they can, rather than sending him out. While Shaun pointed out that both Simon and Liz add value to them. Sam spoke about how shocked he was to receive votes at the last tribal council, admitting that it makes him question his place in the tribe if they were willing to take the risk. While Liz just wasn’t sure if she could trust things enough not to play her idol.

Right on cue, JLP announced that this tribal council had a spoil and things would play out a little differently, as he wheeled out the Heroes before announcing that the Villains had a single opportunity to mutiny. One by one, they would go up to vote and if they wanted the shot, they were to write down their name, if not, they do nothing. If there is one name in the urn, they mutiny but if there are multiple – or none – they have to draw rocks to decide who goes. Liz pretty much signalled she is ready to go back to her friends, while Simon desperately wanted to take a shot at safety while David pointed out that it is a bad idea, since they hate him. Shaun meanwhile was busy whispering, suggesting if he goes over, it could be enough to win some people back. With that the tribe voted and Liz took the opportunity, while whispering to Nina about how they are still tight and she will fight for them to get all the intel.

The next day Stevie and Gerry bonded over being hard of hearing and enjoying being able to listen to people on their terms. Meanwhile the Spice Girls reunion tour was in full swing as Shonee and Liz went bathing in the ocean, holding each other close and living their best lives. And well, Shonee was feeling like she and George are particularly unstoppable. The trio hung out in the shelter, speculating whether a merge was imminent or whether they would get lucky enough to send the Villains back to tribal council one last time. Though when Liz told George that should the previous tribal council had played out, Hayley would have been blindsided, George was nervous about them returning given he knows it is better for both of their games if he and Hayley work together.

Flick meanwhile was feeling well and truly on the outs, but bless, she got to work bonding with Liz and working her social game a little bit. Liz boldly asked who she was working with on the original Heroes tribe and given Flick somehow found out who Liz had been working with, she opened up about vibing with Sam, Nina and Dave. And what do you know, just like that, Flick had almost worked her way into the girl gang. That is until she approached George and suggested she work with the Spice Girls to take control at the merge. He then pulled Gerry aside to fill him in on Flick’s powers and suggested they need to get rid of her ASAP, not just to keep Shiz in their pocket but also protect Hayley on the other side. So basically, we’re looking at another thrown challenge, this time going back to the new Heroes.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a massive challenge for a trip to the Survivor sandwich shop, where they would pull a cart through a series of obstacles to collect balls before shooting them into three baskets held up by their tribemates. Obviously the Villains got out to an early lead, though the Heroes managed to stay surprisingly close on their tails. Until the ramp happened, where the Heroes straight up got stuck and allowed the Villains to power ahead and start shooting their baskets before the Heroes even crossed the ramp. Oh and then Dave, a professional athlete, promptly landed ball after ball and took out the win for the Villains. As George warned Hayley that Nina had been gunning for her at the last tribal council. So you know shit is about to hit the fan.

We followed the Villains off to the reward where we learnt that, as is oft the case, the tribe would each go to the sandwich bar one at a time with the order decided by consensus. So yeah, obviously there is an advantage hidden there. And while Nina asked to go first, Hayley wisely said sticks is the fairest way to play things. Which obviously scared Nina, given she saw George whispering to Hayley after the challenge and didn’t want her anywhere near the start if she was nervous about being blindsided. While she got lucky with Shaun picking the shortest stick, Hayley was second and after Shaun came back empty handed – though full – Hayleyhad hope. Sadly for her, she also found nothing, as did everyone that came after until Sam trashed things and confirmed that maybe there really was nothing hidden there this time.

Meanwhile over with the Heroes, Matt watched on as the girls frolicked in the ocean, wary of the way Flick had weasled her way into their alliance. As such, he knew he desperately needed to make a final pitch to join the alliance ahead of her, pulling George aside to sell himself as the ultimate spy come the merge. And obviously pledge his undying loyalty to George and Gerry. Giving George the magic 7 people needed to take control. And oh God, do I ship this alliance?

The tribes came together for the latest immunity challenge – the tribal version of When It Rains It Pours – where everyone would have to hold a sandbag tethered to a trough above their head, with the last tribe standing high and dry winning immunity. Oh and one person on each tribe would race to solve a puzzle, with the first to finish getting the chance to kick someone out of the lineup from the opposing tribe. Everyone took their places as Stevie and Nina raced to finish the puzzle and while Nina was calm and methodical, Stevie was messy and a little bit chaotic. And while his tribe tried to keep him focused and upbeat, the writing was on the wall as they braced for Matt to be kicked out of the challenge. Which Nina did without hesitation after demolishing the puzzle, as Liz took on the second bag. After ten minutes, it started to rain making it even harder for everyone to hold on to the bags as Liz and Flick desperately tried to hold strong. Before they dropped after 20 minutes, sending the Heroes back to tribal council.

Back at camp the mood was decidedly sombre as Stevie apologised for bombing the puzzle, while George admitted to us that he isn’t overly upset, giving he can get rid of Flick and maintain control coming into the merge. He pulled Gerry aside to reiterate how important it is to get rid of her so they can topple the Heroes, with Gerry assuring him that he is positive that Matt is on their side. George then caught up with Stevie who was thrilled that Flick was the target, though assured him it was important that Shonee and Liz don’t find out how close they’ve grown to Matt. Which seems like a little misstep, but whatever. George caught up with Shiz, with the girls obviously suggesting they get rid of Matt with George trying to explain that from his experience with Flick, she won’t actually have their back long term and it is safer for all of them if they get rid of her now. 

Not being her first rodeo, Flick realised that nobody was talking to her and as such, she knew that her name was being thrown around. She decided to address it head on, pulling George aside and asking him what the plan is and while he assured her Matt was the target, she still felt uneasy. Uneasy, but not exactly sure what she could do to change anything. Aside from pulling the girls aside and pitching her case to them. She reiterated that Matt is definitely going to flip back to the OG Heroes as soon as possible, so she would love to work with them to get rid of him as she will stay loyal. And she and Liz have the same friends in the OG Heroes tribe. As the girls tried to convince George that she was an asset, Flick approached them to try her luck herself before Shonee wandered off with her. Leaving Liz to point out to George that she also doesn’t want to get rid of any more women yet. And after she couldn’t convince him to change his mind, she walked off, leaving George very nervous about pushing too hard to get rid of Flick, whether it means he is breaking up the band at the same time.

At tribal council Liz spoke about how thrilled she was to be reunited with her allies, while Flick admitted she feels like how Liz was feeling at the Villains tribe, well and truly at the bottom. Just like Matt. Stevie meanwhile was comfortable with this alliance, emphasis on this, which should be a warning to Shiz. Shonee spoke about how the differing opinions within alliances can be frustrating, however George tried to remind everyone that they, as a tribe, need to focus on having the strongest chance come the merge. While Liz tried to remind him that sometimes, you need to bend a little. Matt meanwhile laid his cards on the table, assuring everyone that he doesn’t want to take advantage of cracks and instead, work together and go far.

Flick meanwhile gave her hail mary plea, telling the OG Villains that she definitely has the best shot at pulling in the numbers they need from the other tribe. And she loves the girls and told George that she finally wants to work with him to boot. Gerry meanwhile was having none of it, telling her that he was screwed by the Heroes once and he knows they are going to want to pull Flick back in. As he and Flick spoke, George and Shonee whispered about the vote, with Liz telling Shonee to tell him that if he refuses to budge from Flick, she will give her her idol. And while he told her it was a waste, she was firm that she will be protecting her. This spooked George, who asked to talk to Gerry, telling him that the girls will play an idol to protect Flick and as such, they need to pick Matt or Stevie to go. And ugh, Gerry chose Stevie to be sacrificed, just as Shonee told Stevie how gorge he was looking tonight.

George returned to the group, whispering to Shiz that he would be willing to get rid of Stevie as a compromise. Which they quickly agreed to, as Stevie spoke about how difficult a vote it would be, given he has genuinely grown to love everyone. With that the tribe finally voted, Liz wisely held on to her idol and the OG Spice Girls – and I’m including Gerry in that – banded together to blindside Stevie from the game. And ugh, he was absolutely gutted. After quietly making his way to Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him that despite just missing the merge, he still played a very strong game and sadly was just struck by a stray bullet. Which had him feeling ok before he became positively jubilant upon seeing the massive plate of Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks.

While it is kind of difficult to call this a recipe – given it is so simple – there is no denying these are a delicious little snack. Sweet and salty, they go well at a little party, celebrating game day – aka Rhianna’s recent halftime show – or my fave, as a breakfast snack when you had too much to drink at the aforementioned party.

Enjoy!

Stevie Bakhouw Wrapped Franks
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
12 rashers streaky bacon
24 chipolatas

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the bacon rashers in half and wrap around the chipolatas, either securing with a toothpick or placing them join-down on a lined baking sheet.

Transfer the baking sheet to the oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until cooked through and crisp.

Serve piping hot with your favourite sauces, for optimal devouring conditions.


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Rumethyst Custard

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 15, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race despite (my former friend) Todrick’s show eating into half the runtime, Ru and Co. served up a double dose of Snatch. Not like in All Winners, where they had to do two characters but just splitting the dolls in two given it was so damn early. Despite two groups of queens, it was Loosey that somehow managed to own both of them with a hilarious, pitch perfect Joan Rivers. Meanwhile Sugar and Spice malfunctioned, Aura was planned and Amethyst was a delight as Tanning Mom. Obviously that meant Loosey won, while the producers pulled the trigger on the Sugar and Spice lip sync, with sweet Sugar tragically felled by her twin.

Backstage Spice was well and truly heartbroken to have lost her sister, though to their credit, her new sisters rallied around her and made sure she knew that while she was now alone, she has them as a support system and a family and ugh, why am I crying. After taking a seat, Loosey was feeling her oats and got things shady pointing out Mistress clearly took out second place, which led to the drama between her and Marcia flaring up. They pivoted to getting out of drag with Spice frustrated that some girls were still there over Sugar and while Mistress tried to get her to spill, her lips were sealed.

The next day Spice was feeling a little better until Aura asked her to share who out of the safe queens she felt should have been in the bottom with her. Which obviously was stopped by Mama Ru’s arrival, who dropped by to open the library for the speedy version of the reading challenge. Given you essentially only got one gag from each doll it appeared everyone did well, with Luxx aggressively calling out Marcia’s looks while Mistress was brutal, Spice was cute, Sasha once again proved she is hilarious and Loosey continued to shine. I mean, she joked about MH17, shooting her sisters and well, it was only right she won. Again.

Before departing Ru announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would form a trio of fashion houses – House of Kressley, House of Mathews and House of Visage – using homewares inspired by their leader. Oh and while it is individual, the dolls needed to create a cohesive collection. Team Mathews was made up of Malaysia, Loosey, Sasha and Marcia x 3, Team Kressley was made up of Anetra, Salina, Jax and Robin while Team Visage was Luxx, Mistress, Spice, Amethyst and Aura. After ransacking the warehouse, the dolls split up to talk through their collections, with Luxx quickly taking control while Spice was delightfully confused, making Mistress love her even more. Team Kressley were going for Willow Smith does Heathers while Team Mathews were going with palm trees. And Malaysia was just going to pretend she can sew until she gets it together.

Ru dropped by to kiki with the dolls with House of Kressley filling her with confidence given they can all sew and have a very clear plan. Oh and thankfully Ru called out Salina’s crunchy style and well, I love it. And her. When it came to House of Visage, Amethyst was relying on hot glue and a prayer, though Ru wasn’t living for their cohesive element being royalty. And that is it.

After Ru departed for the second time the dolls split up to work through their outfits with Team Visage moving away from the royalty prompt, disappointing Luxx who had an entire Marie Antoinette moment planned out. Though she eventually was keen to make pants, so there is that. Jax meanwhile was desperate to find out who Spice thought should have been in the bottom the week before and while she brushed it off, Mistress wished her new daughter would have relished the moment to be shady. Amethyst meanwhile was just busy spiralling as she got more and more confused and felt like she had no plan.

Elimination Day arrived with Jax opening up about being the only person of colour at school and how she struggled with the casual racism that comes along with it. Though she was grateful to move to NYC and see that the world could be so much more and finally be able to come into her own. Luxx and Spice meanwhile bonded over fashion and dolls, which was cute, sweet and I love them.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by THE Janelle Monae as Drag Race Fashion Week commenced. Mistress opened the House of Visage runways giving sexy Jersey ball glam, Aura gave sexy CEO Tarzan, Amethyst was old Hollywood though make it unfinished, Spice gave Baby Michelle at the VMAs while Luxx was stun-ning giving African glamour, complete with cape. Robin kicked off the House of Kressley giving an architectural school girl look, Jax looked like a gothic Harley Quinn, Anetra was stunning in a sexy business bikini while Salina served drama in a very Salina look. Closing out the show were House of Mathews, where Sasha gave sexy JLo resort wear, Loosey gave Brady beach chic, Malaysia gave Southern Belle at the beach before Marcia closed the show looking like a sweet ‘60s schoolgirl.

Mistress, Aura, Spice, Anetra, Loosey and Marcia were sent to safety before the judges praised Amethyst for upping her make-up skills, though read her for such a messy look. Luxx received wall to wall praise for everything she served from the energy to the impeccable workmanship and boy did she know it. Robin was praised for giving punk in her look, Jax was read for not telling a story, Salina was read for being Salina before Sasha took us back into the positive realm for just being a smart, talented icon. And Mistress was praised for bringing the regal and tricking them into believing she could sew.

Backstage the safe dolls were thrilled to be backstage rather than being read for filth by the judges. Speaking of which, they praised Loosey for killing the reading challenge. Spice directed talk to Amethyst’s look and general lack of sewing skills in general before Mistress checked in with Spice, who opened up about how she still looks around the Werk Room looking for her sister, though was ready to stand on her own two feet. Talk turned to family with Marcia opening up about being a twin, while Anetra shared that she doesn’t talk to her family and how she misses seeing her siblings. While Mistress assured her that she is in the same position and well, it is their loss, not theirs. The latter their being Mistress and Anetra’s.

The tops and bottoms joined the frackass with Malaysia thrilled to be in the top alongside the other dolls, while Luxx was well and truly feeling her oats. Jax was a little confused given her reviews were mixed, which clearly left Salina and Amethyst as the bottoms. With the former being positively heartbroken about it. While Spice assured Amethyst that despite the critiques, she looks beautiful. While the dolls reminded her she killed Snatch Game and well, that should count for something. As the dolls kiki, Salina quietly sobbed until Sasha pulled her aside to give her a pep talk and ugh, mother is mothering and if she doesn’t win, I will riot.

Janelle then gagged the divas with a visit and well, she is an icon and I look forward to her EGOTing in the next five years because there is nothing she can not do. Including pep talks.

Ultimately Luxx took out victory as Malaysia, Sasha and Robin were sent to safety while Jax narrowly scraped through, leaving Salina to face off against Amethyst to survive. And when she said she was going to fight to stay in the competition, she meant it. As soon as Janelle’s Q.U.E.E.N. kicked off she was right in the pocket, hitting every lyric and giving all the right vibes. Amethyst gave another solid performance, but sadly for her, Salina just had it down and as such, she found her run of luck running out as she exited the competition. On the third strike, just as Spice predicted.

While Amethyst was disappointed to be out of the competition, I tried to remind her that being a bright spark in Snatch Game is what people will remember her for. Which seemed to pull her out of any funk. Sadly it wasn’t enough to get all the deets on her former romance with Robin, so I eventually stopped pushing for intel and instead toasted her killer performance with a big, boozy bowl of Rumethyst Custard.

While brandy custard is the usual festive direction people take their custard in, I find rum is an even more glorious way to take it. Though maybe that is because like Bowen Yang, I am from Queensland. Smooth with a big ol’ kick, it is a delight. Just like Amethyst.

Enjoy!

Rumethyst Custard
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
200ml double cream
700ml milk
4 egg yolks
3 tbsp cornflour
100g raw caster sugar
1 tbsp rum
¼ tsp salt
pinch of fresh grated nutmeg, to garnish

Method
Combine the cream and milk in a large saucepan and gently bring to a near boil. While that is on, whisk the yolks, cornflour, sugar, rum and salt in a large bowl. When the milk and cream is hot, slowly whisk into the eggs until combined.

Clean out the saucepan and wipe dry before transferring the mixture back. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the custard is thick. Strain into a bowl, cover and chill for a couple of hours.

Or devour warm. TBH, both ways are delicious with a sprinkle of freshly grated nutmeg.


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Cherry Eliespresso Biscotti

Baking, Dessert, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 43, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor Baka finally got in on the excitement of bead idol-palooza as Jeanine stumbled across an ant covered note. She immediately looped in Elie and went to their allies to convince them to hand over their beads, while Sami waited until after the idol was powered to tell Gabler just what he had done. After Coco lost their second immunity challenge, Jeanine, Jesse and Geo were selected to go to Journey Island where they all risked their votes before Geo jagged the advantage. And Jeanine popped a bigger target on her back as Sami wondered why she would risk it when she already had an idol. When it came to Coco, it came down to Cassidy and Geo as the targets, and while Ryan thought he was valiantly pretending to be the one to go out, he was blindsided by the departure of his only ally Geo.

The next day Coco discovered treemail announcing the (non-)merge, offering them ten minutes to pack their things and get on a boat to leave camp. While everyone was feeling thrilled to have made it to the next phase, Karla wisley knew that Jeffrey would have some sort of shenanigans to officially make it to the merge and as such, was tempering her expectations. Over at Vesi, Jesse was ready to prove himself while Baka just got to stay at their camp, waiting to greet the other tribes and all their spoils. And while everyone was excited to meet new people, Cody knew it was about to descend into chaos and as such, wasn’t that happy to have new friends.

As everyone got together to kiki and get to know people, Noelle was nervous about the fact they don’t have buffs nor a feast. Because duh, that is the go now, listen to Karla! Owen meanwhile was concerned about all the potential advantages floating around their new mega-tribe. Noelle meanwhile dropped by Elie and Sami to talk about how wild Cody is, sharing an anecdote about him making a hat for tribal council, which did nothing more than announce that Cody is the one that owns the Vesi idol. A little fact Elie quickly took back to Jeanine.

Jeff made an early appearance to announce that once again they need to earn their place on the merge tribe, though this time, there would be no stupid hourglass of doom. The group would be split into two teams for the first opportunity to merge, racing to release a sled buried by sandbags and then drag it through obstacles to collect large blocks. They would then build a staircase to release a key, then climb up a platform, release puzzle pieces and then solve a word puzzle. With the winners officially part of the merge while the losers have to survive the upcoming vote to get there. And given there are 13 people left, someone would land in the middle and be given the chance to bet on the winner and if they were right, they would also be immune and get to partake in the merge feast with them.

Ultimately Noelle landed in the middle, opting to believe in the blue team, made up of Gabler, Karla, Jeanine, Ryan, Jesse and Dwight. Which seemed like a great choice, given they got out to the earliest of leads. Not to be outdone, the red team picked up the pace and overtook them while collecting their blocks. Things got worse for the blue team and Noelle as Karla crushed her hand on a block and started to bleed profusely as she tried to finish out the challenge. As the red team extended their lead and started to work on the word puzzle, the blue team worked together to get the bleeding Karla up the wall. And then completely dominated the puzzle, narrowly taking out immunity just ahead of the red team and proving Noelle was wise to back them. And hopefully Karla would soon get a bandaid.

Back at camp the losing team were heartbroken to be potentially going home tonight, with Elie in particular breaking down about bombing the puzzle. She rallied though and caught up with Owen, suggesting they lie to OG Coco and tell them that Cody is the target, and then split the vote on Cassidy and James, continuing to get rid of Coco. Elie quickly locked in Cassidy and James and while she thought they had bought it all, James felt she was being a little suss and as such, thought she could be the better option.

Meanwhile the victors and Noelle were busy smashing their feast and downing beers, before Karla floated the question of what they should do at tribal council. Ryan immediately suggested they could just lock it in as the final 7 at this point, which obviously annoyed Jeanine, who wanted to stick with her allies. The group pivoted, instead talking about who they wanted to protect with everyone trying to save their OG tribes. Except for Gabler, who admitted that she does not care for Elie and outed her for going through her bag. Which made Jeanine even more furious.

The two groups came together and filled each other in on the plans, with Elie throwing Cassidy under the bus for floating Cody, which was actually her plan. As they caught up with Dwight and Jeanine, the duo filled Elie in on the fact Gabler is coming for her which made her just as furious as Jeanine. Elie obviously went to confront Gabler, denying the fact she looked through his bag, though try as she might, he had no interest in listening. She cut her losses and instead went to confront Sami and Owen for outing her with Gabler and while they both denied it, they also offered to help clear her name. Well, until she was gone, when Sami decided that Elie was too dangerous to last another day.

Gabler then caught up with Jeanine and while she was just as angry, she calmly suggested they talk to Owen and Sami to try and reiterate the importance of staying Baka strong. With Sami eventually getting through to Gabler after Jeanine left, when he reminded him that Jeanine has an idol and as such, could save Elie and screw one of Owen or Sami if he doesn’t pull his head in. Vesi and Coco meanwhile were busy catching up, locking in Elie as the biggest threat. And after Ryan straight up told James and Cassidy that they were Elie’s actual target, it looked like everyone would be coming together to get rid of Elie.

At tribal council the soon to be merged tribe took their seats before Gabler spoke about the chaos of the day, failing to mention the fact that he was the one that kicked it off. Cody agreed that it was overwhelming, while Sami spoke about how nerve wracking it is to be one of the few options to go home within the broader group. Cassidy and Owen were nervous and unsure who to trust, while Jeanine said it was hard to even try and fathom what everyone else’s priorities were. Elie opened up about the fact her name was put out amongst the tribe while Karla spoke about the fact that there are a large number of potential advantages and as such, there is even more they have to worry about navigating. Sami mentioned how difficult a position it can be if you know about an advantage, given there are pros and cons to keeping your mouth shut, while everyone agreed that paranoia – about everything – is the most difficult thing to deal with.

With that the tribe voted and despite the chaotic afternoon pre-tribal, the final plan appeared to be solid as Vesi, Coco and Gabler banded together to boot Elie from the game. While Probst officially welcomed the other five castaways to the merged tribe.

Elie was obviously super disappointed as she arrived at Loser Lodge, particularly given she had only just been talking up how well she had been playing the game. Which I calmly explained is exactly what happens and to not let her down, particularly given she is a lock for a second chances season (sorry Lindsay) given she had an iconic feud with Gabler which cost her her game. Which proved enough to cheer her up as we plotted her second go over some fresh Cherry Eliespresso Biscotti.

While sometimes I worry that they will chip my teeth as I get older, there is nothing better than biscotti. Light and crunchy, these numbers pack a glorious punch of coffee alongside the chewiness of the cherries to create the ultimate textural sensation.

Enjoy!

Cherry Eliespresso Biscotti
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
¼ cup espresso powder 
2 tbsp vanilla extract 
2 ½ cups flour
1 cup raw caster sugar 
2 tsp baking powder 
¼ tsp kosher salt
3 eggs, lightly beaten 
¾ cup walnuts, roughly chopped
¾ cup dried cherries

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C. 

Combine the espresso powder and vanilla in a bowl and whisk to combine. In another bowl, whisk the flour, raw caster sugar, baking powder and salt. Finally, beat the eggs and espresso-vanilla mixture in a stand mixer until thick and golden. Fold through the dry ingredients, walnuts and cherries, and beat until just combined.

Split the dough in half and form into two small, flat loaves. Pop on a lined baking sheet and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until just cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for half an hour.

Using a serrated knife, slice each loaf into 4mm thick biscuits and place on a lined baking sheet. Once the biscotti are shaped, return to the oven to bake for a further 15 minutes, or until perfectly crisped. Remove from the oven and let it cool completely. Then, devour.


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Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika

Salad, Side, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa the tribal switch was impacting each tribe in vastly different ways. Over at Yontau, the former Masu members had the majority and planned to systematically eliminate the Yontaus after Phil botched a plan to blindside Dante. Over at new Masu, the original Masus were similarly enjoying good fortune, this time despite a numbers disadvantage. In part because the Yontau members didn’t get along, but more importantly, because Pinty was difficult to be around and an easy, unifying target.

Back at camp Felix and Thoriso were well and truly on the outs after Killarney defected to get rid of Pinty, while Steffi and Toni tried to apologise and make them feel better. Tejan assured them that the vote wasn’t necessarily down tribal lines and instead was against Pinty being a little grumpy. And well, tomorrow is always another day in this game. Said next day, Toni awoke before the rest of the tribe, nudging Tejan awake and sending him to go hunt for a hidden immunity idol while she kept watch. Once he found the idol however, he was disappointed to discover it was only for the other tribe with them quickly planning to give it to Dino to try and protect him from Dante.

Over at Yontau Shane and Phil were catching up about Dante’s mood, with Shane assuring him that while Dante wants Dino and him out as soon as possible, that isn’t what he or Meryl want. And as such, he is ready to make a move ASAP. And will put his head on the line to save him. That being said, Phil isn’t really buying it and is ready to outlast Shane on their second go together.

The tribes reconvened with Nico for the latest immunity challenge where they would chop through a rope to release a Miley-style wrecking ball, manoeuvre it through obstacles and then use it to smash three large tiles. With the winners getting immunity and pizza, clearly unaware it is a Survivor curse. But, you know, whatever. Felix got Masu out to an early lead chopping through their ropes before tapping back in for a third go and extending the lead. Well, until Thoriso struggled to get up a wall and allowed Yontau to overtake them. While Felix worked hard to get them back in the game, Dino and Dante formed a formidable duo as they knocked out tile after tile and despite a late-breaking push, sent Masu back to tribal council. But not before Toni gave Dino a snuggly hug to hand over Tejan’s idol.

They headed back to camp where Dino was in shock that not a soul noticed the idol exchange. To try and cover their tracks, he told the tribe that she was trying to fill him in on what was happening on the other tribe. After he excused himself from the camp, Palesa told everyone that she is sure that she witnessed an idol exchange between he and Toni and as such, they all needed to be wary. Shane pulled Dino aside to fill him in on the new lay of the land, reiterating how much Dino can trust him and should, essentially, pledge his undying loyalty to Shane.

Marian and Meryl meanwhile were growing more and more nervous of Dino, given he is clearly closer to Toni than them and as such decided he needs to go. Sadly, he was busy catching Phil up on the idol and started planning how they could use it to survive. Palesa dropped by and told Dino she caught him handing off the idol and all three agreed that Shane is not to be trusted and as such, started brainstorming ideas to get rid of him ASAP.

Back at camp a dejected Masu tried to congratulate each other on fighting hard in the challenge. Thoriso meanwhile was worried about how to get herself out of the current predicament, while Felix too was ready to fight to stay alive. Toni caught Steffi up on the idol exchange and begged her to keep it quiet from Tejan, because they need Dino to feel loyal to them. Tejan joined the girls and the talk turned to the upcoming tribal council, wondering how to navigate a potential idol play from Thoriso and Felix. Speaking of Felix, Toni caught up to him and assured him that she still wants to work with him, outlined the Dino idol exchange but didn’t give him anything else to put his mind at ease.

Felix caught up with Tejan and Thoriso, telling them that Toni told him about the exchange given she knows he caught her. With Tejan explaining how he found it and all of them agreeing that giving it to Dino was a great idea. They then talked strategy and Tejan realised that he vibes better with Thoriso and as such, questioned whether he should be turning on Toni instead as he needs a collaborator, not undying loyalty.

Toni meanwhile was feeling in control of the tribe, catching up with Steffi to debate who is the best person to get rid of out of loyal Killarney or Thoriso. WIth them settling on the safer bet being to stick with Killarney and vote out Thoriso. Sadly just as Tejan was trying to put the target on Killarney instead. He caught up with Toni and pointed out that Killarney doesn’t bring them any other potential options, while keeping Thoriso could give them more wiggle room later in the game. After they locked in a split vote, Tejan realised that he could change things up and protect Thoriso, though was unsure what exactly the cost would be moving forward with his OG allies.

At tribal council Tejan spoke about how things weren’t too chaotic given there is a majority. Felix joked that it clearly meant he and Thoriso are in trouble tonight. While Tejan tried to backpedal, Thoriso doubled down that there is nothing she can do to change their minds if they don’t see the value you can add to their game. While Nico told her it was defeatist, she argued that it is realistic and knowing there may not be something she can do, she is still going to pitch it. Nico asked Killarney how she hooked up with the Masus to form a majority, essentially saying she is just more mature and loyal. 

Felix spoke about how disappointed it was to come into tribal knowing it might be his last, giving a final pitch to keep him. Toni tried to say that being voted out in a returning season is kind of a compliment, with everyone begging not to be complimented tonight. With that the tribe voted and Thoriso stood firm in her alliance with Felix, and Tejan to OG Masu, leading to a 2-2-2 vote between the original Yontau members. After revoting, Thoriso’s loyalty to Felix ended up being her undoing as the tribe banded together to boot her from the game.

Thoriso was her usual, delightful self as she arrived at Loser Lodge, knowing she did all that she could. I pulled her in and agreed that once again, she was playing a stellar game and frankly, the only reason she got eliminated was bad luck of the swap. With that, we laughed, cried and celebrated her second go with Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika.

Less your traditional salad and more an orgy of delicious roasted flavours thrown in a bowl, this salad packs a spicy kick and fills you with unending joy. Which is just what you need after 2.5 weeks eating pap. Or when you want to feel healthy in winter.

Enjoy!

Roasted Sweet Potato and Choriso M-Afrika
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
800g sweet potatoes, washed and cut into wedges
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 chorizos, sliced into thick coins
½ cup sour cream
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp Harissa Oleynik
salt and pepper, to taste
1 bunch watercress, leaves picked

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C. Toss the sweet potatoes with the olive oil and transfer to a baking sheet, and roast for 30 minutes, or until golden and charred.

Meanwhile, pop a skillet over medium heat and cook the chorizos until crisp and glistening with the oozing oil.

Whisk together the sour cream, garlic, lemon zest and juice, Harissa Oleynik with a good whack of salt and pepper.

To serve, toss the sweet potato and chorizo in a serving dish, sprinkle with watercress and drizzle with the dressing. Then devour, joyously.


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Chicken Dianiel Strunk

Main, Poultry, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor despite blowing up his game at tribal council as he threw anyone and everyone under the bus, Daniel opted against apologising to his former allies. While they were all busy forming bonds with each other despite the fact they had just tried to vote each other out. Taku continued their winning streak before Ika narrowly lost the immunity challenge, leading to absolute chaos back at camp. Despite wanting to work together, both Tori and Swati busily tried to turn the tribe on the other. Then at tribal council, Swati played her Shot in the Dark and once again, it came up without safety and she found herself booted from the game. While a shocked Rocksroy looked ready to explode with rage.

Back at camp Tori was very grateful to still be in the game while Rocksroy tried to stay calm and find out what the hell changed between camp and tribal council to result in Swati going home. Romeo explained that she was busy playing both sides with Rocksroy appearing to be genuinely grateful to them for taking her out, while suggesting he can ride their social coattails through the game as a strong four. Which is something that Tori has zero interest in, instead looking to jump ship ASAP as she pulled faces about him in the dark.

The next day Maryanne was busy gloating about how great she is at Mario Kart at Taku, with her and Lindsay’s incessant conversation driving Jonathan absolutely mental as he desperately wished for a moment of peace and quiet. And well, the editors definitely picked the best clip to highlight this because even I was confused and frustrated and i’m a Chatty Cathy myself! Instead of completely blowing up, he got to work fishing and chopping wood until Maryanne popped her foot under the bamboo he was cutting and she made a very big deal about it. While they tried to clear the air, it was clear things were going nowhere so Jonathan instead suggested they just move on. And then went to the well with Lindsay and suggested they get rid of Maryanne should they go back to tribal council, given she is annoying. Which is what Maryanne was telling Omar she was worried about at that very moment, while he just wished everyone would get along!

Meanwhile over at Vati Hai was nervous about lingering tensions, knowing that he is still well and truly on the bottom of the tribe. Daniel and Chanelle were busy assuring each other that their last tribal council won’t come between them as they know they need each other, while Hai and Lydia caught up to figure out how they will get themselves out of the minority and make the merge. Just like that, Daniel tried his hand at fishing which allowed Hai and Lydia to question how he was able to fish for the tribe given he keeps sitting out of the swimming challenges due to his dislocated shoulder. Which well and truly pissed off Mike once the duo pointed it out to him.

Back at Ika, Drea and Romeo were busy trying to find their as-yet-unfound idol, with Romeo opening up to us about how he wanted to align with Drea initially because he wants to support strong women in honour of his mum. And the women he coaches to pageant glory back at home. Right on cue Drea then found the Ika idol, celebrating how advantage rich with advantages she is and knowing that Maryanne already has the Taku idol, it means she could have an active idol very quickly.

To womp-womp that though, we pivoted back to Vati however, where Mike was assuring the tribe that he has no plans to activate his idol at the immunity challenge given the idol is automatically powered at the merge and at which point he also gets his vote back. Which must be in very fine print because that has never been mentioned before.

We obviously then headed to meet up with Probst for the immunity challenge where Maryanne opened the show with her bunny line. Drea skillfully spoke about her potato-ness before Mike gagged even me by saying his damn line, activating all of their idols and locking in everyone’s vote for the tribal council ahead. But first, the immunity challenge, where each tribe would race up and over a net and untangle ropes to release a key. Then unlock a machete, chop free some sandbags and then knock over targets. Oh and the winning tribes would also get a tarp.

Following Sandra’s lead, Daniel once again sat out as Ika got out to a very early lead as Taku nipped at their heels. While calling out Jonathan for being a beast last week, it was Tori that absolutely dominated the challenge, burning through the key and machete portion giving Ika a huge advantage shooting at the targets. As Omar made Taku fall further and further behind, Ika took out the first immunity while Vati started shooting at their targets. Sadly for them, Taku finally joined them with Jonathan quickly knocking out the targets and narrowly taking out immunity for the tribe.

Ika then got to select someone from Vati to go on the special journey, opting for Lydia, with their very own Rocksroy offering to be the one to join her. 

Back at camp Hai reminded everyone that they are a family and to keep that in mind while they scramble. Daniel admitted that he felt nervous and asked for everyone to meet with him, which is a sentiment that Chanelle echoed. As Hai and Daniel caught up, the former admitted that he believes Chanelle is the least trustworthy of the two and that she is the most likely to flip come merge. Mike and Chanelle meanwhile were busy locking in the vote against Daniel. We finally got a clearer picture of things as Mike and Hai caught up, debating the merits of each of them while they both agreed that it is critical that Lydia holds on to her vote on the journey.

Speaking of which, Rocksroy and Lydia were in awe of their surroundings as they climbed the mountain, with Lydia sharing that the game has truly changed her as a person and made her feel more confident in her own skin. At the top Rocksroy tried to find out who would be the target on Vati, while Lydia tried to dance around the facts and admitted that she wouldn’t be shocked if she was in trouble again. Both of them admitted to us that neither had any interest in sharing too much information about their respective tribes and as such, the awkward as hell conversation made a lot more sense. After splitting up, the duo faced their dilemma with Rocksroy worried about Lydia’s nerves getting the best of her and as such, opted to protect his vote. Which is the same decision she made, given her PTSD from their last tribal.

Lydia returned to camp and quickly admitted that she felt there was too much at stake to risk her vote. She then caught up with everyone one by one to figure out what she missed with both Chanelle and Daniel pledging their undying loyalty and praising her for being in charge. Thankfully Hai gave her the real run down and assured her that they are safe and not to worry.

At tribal council Mike admitted that while somebody had to go home tonight, they are still a strong unit. Daniel praised him for being such a team player which is necessary at certain points during the game. Hai said that while they may be tight, somebody has to be being lied to right now given they still need for someone to go home. Daniel pointed out that Mike means the tribe are a team until the end of their lives, not just the game which made Chanelle point out that he is clearly playing into Mike’s affection for him. Lydia meanwhile pointed out that after tonight, each tribe will have four people remaining and should they merge next week, they need to guarantee their four is a solid one. Which is a sentiment echoed by Hai and Daniel, while Mike reiterated that his vote is based on game and he still cares for the person getting booted.

With that the tribe voted and somehow was split 2-2-1 between Chanelle and Daniel, with a random vote cast against Mike. Mike, Hai and Lydia then revoted and officially sent Daniel out of the game. While Mike angrily acknowledged Chanelle’s vote against him.

As soon as Daniel arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug which elicited massive screams from the sweetheart as I held tight on his busted shoulder. Proving definitively that yeah, he hurt! Given Daniel is a delightful superfan, however, he took that and his boot in stride, grateful to not just have had the opportunity to play the game, but also to get culinary comfort from me in the form of some Chicken Dianiel Strunk.

Yeah, yeah, Steak Diane Keaton is great – and oh so kitsch – but have you ever tried it with a chicken rissole? Because damn, does it taste good. Packing a lightly herbaceous punch, the juicy rissoles pair perfectly with the diane sauce to create a delicious and quick meal.

Enjoy!

Chicken Dianiel Strunk
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
½ cup panko breadcrumbs
4 shallots, thinly sliced
1 egg, lightly whisked
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped, plus extra for garnishing
2 tbsp Dijon mustard
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup tomato paste
⅔ cup cream
roughly chopped parsley, to serve

Method
Combine the chicken mince, breadcrumbs, shallots, egg, parsley and half the Dijon and Worcestershire in a bowl. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper and stir until well combined. Divide into 8 rissoles, pop on a lined plate and cover with cling. Transfer to the fridge to set for half an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 140C.

Once the rissoles are holding it together, heat a lug of olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Cook half the rissoles at a time, cooking for a few minutes before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Transfer to a lined baking tray and pop into the oven to keep warm.

Add the remaining oil to the pan and saute the onion over low heat for five to ten minutes, or until nice and soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute before stirring through the tomato paste and the remaining Dijon mustard and Worcestershire with half a cup of water. Cook for a couple of minutes, or until gloriously fragrant, before stirring in the cream.

Remove the rissoles from the oven and pop them into the pan to simmer for a further fifteen minutes, or until the sauce is thick and glorious. Sprinkle with the extra parsley and serve immediately, ideally with a glorious mash for optimal devouring.


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Thai Chickhanh Dumplongs

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Main, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, while Blood and Water were still battling it out, Jonathan switched things up and offered an individual immunity for each tribe. As both of them were attending tribal council, meaning hijinks were guaranteed to ensue. On the Water Tribe, things came down to Khanh and Sam, with the former promising his necklace to Sam, who quickly fainted when stepping out of the challenge. On Blood meanwhile, Shay completely dominated her tribe while Jordie tried valiantly to bring her down. With their main target immune, the sausage fest opted to take out Mel over on Blood, while Sam and Jesse were owning Water and ready to finally get rid of Ben. Sadly for them, he had one last shot at redemption as Mel and Ben were able to battle in a fire challenge to return to the game. With Mel ultimately smoking the competition and sending Ben home. For realsies, this time.

The next day the Blood tribe were thrilled to be waking up on Day 26, particularly Mel since she had suceesfully won her way back into the game. Jordie spoke about how great the last 26 days have been, exhausted and overwhelmed but so happy to have made it this far. He encouraged everyone to celebrate their successes given everything could change in a minute and oh God, my newly minted villain king is going, isn’t he? Shay meanwhile was missing Ben though thrilled he is getting some breakfast sausage – OMG, swoon – while Jordie was more focused than ever to get to the end with his brother.

And again, Jordie is toast, isn’t he?

Both tribes joined Jonathan in the middle of the bush where he quickly announced that their tribes are no longer as they have officially merged. Which is convenient as Sam literally brought all her belongings, including a fishing rod like it was 6 year-old me taking my maths book in a fire drill. But I’ve digressed. After everyone hugged and traded out their rancid buffs for fresh, clean numbers, Shay shared she was ready to kick things into overdrive, while Jordie was thrilled to actually be hanging with his bro and Sam was just grateful that she and Mark finally made it to the merge. I assume because it means they can stay together.

With that out of the way, they were tasked with competing in their first individual reward challenge where they would each have to balance a table using a rope and then walk back and forth to collect blocks which they would use to build a pyramid on the balancing board. Oh and the winner would score $60k. Like, what?! That is more than Sharn won over two seasons as the runner-up. Madness!

Madness, but also lols.

In any event, this sort of challenge is never exciting to read about, so I will spare you the they dropped, they dropped commentary and instead will tell you that while Mark got out to an early lead, Shay was playing it fast and loose while Chrissy was surprisingly dominant. Though none of them were competition for Khanh and his steady chef hands, who defied everyone dropping around him and jagged the mega-jackpot reward without dropping once. And sadly made that target on his back just that little bit bigger.

The newly merged tribe arrived at a sandbank in the middle of the river – which TBH, is a bit triggering in Brisbane ATM – for a celebratory feast where they quickly congratulated Khanh on taking out his massive prize, which he was thrilled about despite now being the foremost challenge beast of the season. He was thrilled to be a single in the newly merged tribe, given he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else when playing his game. While everyone was thrilled to be smashing their food, Jordie pulled his brother aside to focus on the game, looping him in on Mark’s idol and catching him up on his sausage fest alliance.

The tribe ventured back to the camp formerly home to the Water Tribe where we finally met Mel and Michelle, who are iconic identical twins who are ready to come and dominate the game. By putting their twin powers to good use, obvi. Sam and Mark too were thrilled to finally redeem their first runs, ready to get some idols and take some names. While Mark oddly stayed quiet about his idol, despite the fact they are straight up married. Sadly for him, Jordie and Sam then caught up by the shelter with Jordie telling Sam about her husband’s idol and well, let’s just say she was pissed. And while Survivor may have brought them together, it may also be the reason for their divorce.

Sam eventually confronted her husband, who thought it was absolutely hilarious she found out from someone else. Giving his mate a smirk on the way out of camp to fight about it. While Sam was happy that Mark’s little snafu had proven himself loyal to Jordie, I can’t help but feel like it makes him look like he has some hardcore trust issues. But whatever.

The tribe reconvened at the shelter to come up with the merge tribe name with both Glitter and Bin Chicken thrown around before they settled on the even worse option of Lava. Which, yuck! Thankfully though Chrissy was well and truly ready to fight for her place in the game, which makes the shit name feel better. Mark caught up with his alliance of five men – the four J names and him – thrilled that with the addition of his wife as their sixth member, they can take control. And with Sam, comes Khanh meaning they should be unstoppable. But you best believe that while Mark was willing to use Khanh, he was still focused on getting him out ASAP. Meaning, maybe not?

The Lava tribe joined Jonathan by a dam for the first individual immunity challenge of the season, the iconic ‘When it Rains it Pours’, most famously won by Shi Ann in All Stars as she briefly blocked Romber’s dominance. You know they one, they hold on to a rope tethered to a bucket of water with the last one standing, dry, winning immunity. Out of nowhere Chrissy was the first to drop out of the challenge, quickly followed by Michelle while Jordie was talking shit at everyone before he and Khanh dropped together, followed by Mark. 

After ten minutes, Mel and Josh dropped back-to-back, leaving the rest to battle it out. Five minutes later, KJ fishing for compliments led to Shay dropping out of the challenge, followed by Jordan, while Mark and Jordie grew bored as they waited around and started strategising, debating the merits of voting either Khanh or Shay out. Sam and Dave were next to drop, leaving Jesse and KJ to fight for immunity. Despite putting up a strong effort, poor KJ couldn’t hold on any longer, dropping her rope after 50 minutes and handing immunity to Jesse.

Back at camp Jesse was well and truly feeling his oats, thrilled to be immune though definitely concerned about how exactly he would be taking control of the tribe. He caught up with his former tribemates, with Sam, Mel and Michelle thrilled to band together as the couples to take out the singles. Sam’s husband Mark meanwhile was still solely focused on blindsiding Khanh. He and the boys were thrilled to lock in the vote split between him and Mel, given they can eliminate another pair at worst case. Meanwhile Sam and Jesse were focused on getting rid of Shay instead, locking in their plans and ready to dominate the tribe. After Khanh was looped in, he pulled KJ aside to lock her in as a number against Shay before moving on to Mel and Michelle.

The latter then approached Sam back at camp, with Sam assuring her the plan is still to get rid of Shay though she did think she should check in with Mark. Who then straight up shat all over her plan when they caught up. Mark then went in on Sam’s loyalty to Khanh, ignoring the fact Mark and his alphas are all the more threatening than Khanh and leaving him as a target could help their longevity. Their bickering was interrupted by the arrival of Khanh, who quickly pointed out they were having a domestic and offered to help counsel them. Sadly unaware that Sam was fighting to protect him, while Mark was stubbornly wanting to get him out.

Sam moved on to Jordie to question why nobody is considering Shay as a viable boot option, with Jordie admitting that turning the tribe off voting out Khanh simply seems near impossible. But boy did Sam continue to fight, bless her. Jesse meanwhile had given up fighting Khanh, approaching his brother with each agreeing to stay loyal to their alliances to get the maximum amount of information for them as a pair. And maybe they will be a formidable duo after all?

At tribal council Shay spoke about how difficult it already is to navigate the merged tribe given she hasn’t even had a chance to talk to everyone before firmly calling all the pairs out as threats. KJ agreed that being outnumbered by the pairs is scary, particularly since they’re all so strong. Jesse tried to downplay their advantage, talking about the fact there are so many ways the tribe could split things. Mark spoke about how he and Sam have not seen eye to eye so far, but out of the spirited discussions, the best ideas have risen to the top. Aka his, in his mind. While Sam tried to downplay the fact they were having a domestic and assured everyone she will stick to who she is loyal to. Mark agreed that tonight is a big vote for everyone to prove their loyalty.

Khanh fully accepted the fact he is a massive target, particularly since he just won $60k in a challenge. While he wasn’t sure he could truly trust anyone in his tribe, he opened up to Jonathan about how trust is always a risk in life and sometimes you just have to take the risks to build something great. Shay meanwhile wasn’t having much faith in the tryibe though reminded everyone that she is a safe single vote that can be added to any alliance. Which led to Mark continuing to gloat about how much better his alliance and plans are than Sam’s and ugh, yuck. Khanh meanwhile was just hoping his trust wasn’t blind.

With that the tribe voted and Khanh held on to his idol while Sam tragically sided with her husband’s alliance and booted him from the game. Thankfully to become the King of Jury, which honestly is the only worthy finish for him if he couldn’t take out the win.

As he arrived at the fresh, clean and very empty Jury Villa, Khanh was still taking his shocking blindside in his stride but given he will be the person taking home the second biggest prize of the season, how could you not be happy? Given we’re both highly respected members of the queer cooking community, Khanh and I have long been the best of friends so he was thrilled to see me waiting for him. While normally my meals are a step down from what he makes for himself, after a month in the bush, he was thrilled to see me whipping up something other than rice and beans. This time in the form of my – Diana Chan inspired – Thai Chickhanh Dumplongs.

As you’ve probably noticed (or definitely will have by the end of the season), I am almost as obsessed with dumplings as I am about burgers. I don’t know if it is the fact they are essentially little mouthfuls packed with flavour, but these babies are so good you’ll forget you just got booted and are now responsible for the entire jury.

Enjoy!

Thai Chickhanh Dumplongs
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
7 garlic cloves, minced
2 shallots, finely sliced
2 tsp ginger, minced
1 tsp ground coriander seeds
6 kaffir lime leaves, thinly sliced
2 tsp cornflour
2 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp ground chilli
½ tsp ground white pepper
½ tsp muscovado sugar
40 gow gee wrappers
vegetable oil, for frying

Method
Combine the chicken mince through muscovado sugar in a bowl and stir until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge for an hour to rest.

Once things are nice and chill, place the wrappers on a clean board and cover with a damp cloth. Working one-by-one, spoon a teaspoon of mixture into the centre of your dumpling wrappers and crimp and fold as desired. Given my lack of skills, I try and hide behind a pleat to cover my bad joins.

Once they’re all done, heat a lug of oil in a large frying pan with a lid over medium heat. Cooking 6-8 at a time, pop the dumplings in the hot oil to fry on the bottom and cook for a few minutes. Add about ½ a cup of water and immediately pop on the lid, cooking for a further five minutes or until cooked through.

Repeat the process until they are all done – they can be frozen uncooked, but I am greedy – before devouring. Ideally with some Nam Jimbo Dressing.


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Alyssacado Hunterrine

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race, Ru had a case of the guilts over sending dolls home before the two groups came together, so brought Orion and Daya Betty back to the competition. And to welcome them back, Ru decided to throw not one but two balls (aka one theme for each OG group). On the designed runway, June hid her dress behind flowers and refused to show off her handiwork while Maddy was read for being basic. On the other end of the spectrum, Angeria and DeJa were absolute stars but it was Willow who received universal praise and snatched her first victory. While Maddy and June battled valiantly to save themselves, it was Maddy who lived to see another day as June became the real first boot of the season.

The queens returned to the Werk Room with Angeria heartbroken to have lost her sister, while Maddy was feeling guilty to have sent someone home. Despite all the girls reminding her not to feel bad about it. Daya meanwhile felt she needed to show a little more personality if she wanted to make it further, which is rich coming from someone who lip synced to Pink by choice. After sitting down, Kornbread led the group in congratulating her sister Willow on the win before Orion asked the queens if anyone felt they should have won instead. Which obviously led to a very long monologue from Jasmine before she broke down over being safe. Which obviously elicited an eye roll from Bosco, before Alyssa admitted that she too was disappointed she didn’t do better.

Though without theatrical tears.

Jasmine was far happier the next day, as was Willow who had already forgotten that she won money for taking out the ball. Oh and then Kerri spoke for all of us, asking Jasmine why she doesn’t stop talking. As Jasmine tried to explain herself, Kornbread jumped in and pointed out that as someone who loves to talk, she thinks the difference between them is the fact Jasmine monologues and doesn’t listen, while Kornbread talks with  people. Which made the dolls awkward, despite them all agreeing something needed to be said.

Ru made his return to task the dolls with producing two super-tease commercials for their maxi challenge, serving drama, glamour and shade. Since Willow won and Maddy survived the lip sync, the duo were deemed team captains with Willow selecting Kornbread, Lady Camden, Bosco, Kerri and Jorgeous to join her crew while Maddy opted for DeJa, Daya, Angeria, Alyssa and Orion. And the left out Jasmine was allowed to choose her own group, ultimately selecting Willow’s team, despite the fact she and Kornbread aren’t good Judy’s.

The groups split up to start working on their commercials with Jasmine wanting to prove to her sisters she is a team player but more importantly, Willow is keen to be inspired by Drop Dead Gorgeous. Which is *chef’s kiss*. Kerri was happy to play stupid but wanted to stay pretty, while Bosco wanted to be a baby slut. Jorgeous meanwhile was in her head. Kornbread continued to just be completely over Jasmine, likening her to oatmeal raisin cookies when you want a snickerdoodle, which honestly speaks to me on a deep and profound level. Jasmine suggested that maybe she, Kornbread and Kerri should play out their fight in the ad and ohhhh girl, there is tension and this could be brilliant.

Over with the other girls, things were far more congenial as Angeria was ready to act, Maddy was re-working iconic lines from the series and everyone was just having the best time and supporting each other. Though not really living for any of Alyssa’s suggestions.

Team Willow first up to film with Carson and Michelle, with Jasmine sadly not talking at the one time that everyone needed her to. Well, until the second take where she finally found her feet. When it came to their stint in untucked, Willow really shon as she realised she was on the wrong show. Bosco was ridiculous and slutty while Kerri continued to be self-aware and charming, despite struggling with her lines. And Jorgeous was just fun and charming. Oh and Kornbread doing Silky was a little bit triggering, and I’m not sure if it will land.

Team Maddy meanwhile were perfection from the start with Angeria and DeJa slaying their fight and being completely ridiculous. I mean, Maddy spoke about her dad’s disowning her when she came out as straight and getting disowned. On the other hand, Alyssa kept forgetting the cues, ultimately messing things up for her sisters. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get ready for their Night of 1000 J Lo’s runway, which filled Jorgeous with confidence given she has done J Lo looks before. Daya and Bosco meanwhile were checking in with Jasmine, admitting they were shocked she chose to work with Kornbread though Bosco was glad they were able to work so well together in the challenge. Maddy and Alyssa meanwhile were bonding over their fathers, with Maddy not sure how her dad feels about him doing drag. Alyssa’s dad meanwhile came out to her when she found Alyssa’s dial-up porn and ugh, it is so damn sweet. 

Kerri meanwhile was thirsting over Alyssa’s package while she and her fellow aunties Angeria and Kornbread were laughing it up and had Lady Camden in hysterics as she learnt all the new lingo. The queens were interrupted by a little message from J Lo herself where she gave the queens some advice for the rest of the competition. Which was essentially quoting her lyrics and ugh, it was basic But I love it.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Loni Love on the judges panel as Willow slayed the runway in an ugly-stunning fitted baby blue number J Lo rocked at a ‘90s Grammy ceremony. Kornbread took me to church in the 2018 Met Gala look while Camden was stunning and sporty in the 2019 CFA awards ceremony, giving all the I Dream of Genie teas. Bosco served in the wet golden, golden globe look, Kerri gave us the iconic Versace runway dress aka the look that launched Google Image search. Like, the actual dress though. Somehow.

Jorgeous was perfect in a mirrored bodysuit inspired by J Lo’s superbowl show while Jasmine was pink perfection in a Dior inspired look while Maddy stole the show in the J Lo does the  Inauguration look. DeJa was gold, blue and stunning in a VMA performance inspired look. Daya gave a pink and black rocker look from J Lo’s super bowl show before Angeria shut it down in a silver, glittering  2019 Met Gala inspired number. Alyssa Hunter meanwhile slayed in a white suit with a bedazzled corset underneath as Orion gave her signature tired/bored – in a good way – look in a red velvet number.

Team Willow’s commercial was up first with Camden hilariously playing an American imposter, while Willow was perfectly bizarre, Kerri was hilarious and Bosco, honestly, stole the damn show. Team Maddy’s was even more demented from start to finish, with their scenes feeling like actual things that would happen in the show, and well, they all did great, though Angeria once again proved she is an absolute star.

Ultimately Lady Camden, Bosco, Jorgeous, Jasmine, Maddy, Daya and Orion were sent to safety and once backstage, Jasmine immediately shared how grateful she is to be safe. A marked difference from her reaction last week. Jorgeous meanwhile was super emotional though as she felt so disappointed in herself during the challenge and she is just so shocked to be safe. As is becoming tradition, Camden stepped in to give her a beautiful pep talk and praised her commitment and willingness to give everything a try. Jasmine meanwhile praised Orion for looking a million bucks before Bosco congratulated Maddy for doing such a good job leading her team.

Daya jumped in to reiterate how great it was to work with Maddy and how supportive and helpful she was, while Maddy was happy to be safe despite wanting to have that star moment leading the team to victory could have given her. Camden opened up about being terrified of the challenge and how she spent most of the week in her head, though realised that she needs to just put aside her fears, stop holding back and let herself shine. Jasmine agreed that she tried to challenge herself this week, with Bosco congratulating her for trying to adapt her behaviour and make friends.

Meanwhile on the Mainstage, Willow was praised for her commitment in the ad and serving the ridiculous. And for giving a look outside what people would expect from the theme. Kornbread’s outfit meanwhile received universal praise though she was read for being one note in the challenge, with Loni encouraging her to stop relying on fat jokes. Kornbread broke down on the runway, explaining that the competition has brought up a lot of traumas from her past but that she is ready to heal. With the love and support of Ru. Kerri received universal praise for J Lo’s iconic green dress, though Michelle begged Kerri to let go and allow herself to be ugly because that is how she will star.

DeJa received universal praise for everything she did in the challenge and on the runway, as did Angeria with the judges proud of how she managed to land every single one of her very big swings. And while Alyssa’s runway was beloved, the judges felt she was too one note, despite being ready to go for it. She too started to break down, admitting that she has struggled with the language barriers she has come up against in the competition. And well, it was heartbreaking.

The tops and bottoms joined the vers girls with Kornbread admitted it is her, Kerri and Alyssa that are vying for the two lip sync slots. Kornbread meanwhile suggested DeJa should be getting her first victory this week and when she tried to open up, Kornbread spoke about how she was okay with the critiques she got as everything she got was simply little tweaks here and there. Angeria congratulated Willow on slaying the game, with Willow admitting that she thinks Angeria or DeJa are definitely winning because their video was way better. Which led to the girls all praising her for dominating the competition.

Alyssa opened up about struggling to get on her sister’s levels to be funny in the competition and was certain she would be lip syncing against Kerri. She then thanked her sisters for being so loving and supportive and ugh, I just love all of the dolls. Kerri opened up about being disappointed to land in the bottom though was ready to slay the lip sync and put her critiques into practice. Though she may need to borrow her sister’s ugly clothes, since her looks are all perfect. As Jorgeous started to break down, Kornbread cut her off and told her to believe in herself, accept that she is safe and know that the judges see something in her. And as such, she should too.

As the bottoms split up to learn the lip sync, Maddy pulled Alyssa aside to apologise for her landing in the bottom as she felt responsible as the team captain. With Alyssa assuring her that she is not responsible and she was so glad to be on her team. And ugh, again, the dolls are all so sweet with each other this season. 

Back on the mainstage, DeJa was the first to be sent to safety before Angeria took out another, very well-earned victory. That meant Willow was also safe, before Kornbread was saved from the bottom two, leaving Kerri and Alyssa to face off to J Lo’s Play. And oh my God, did Kerri serve despite how scared she was to ruin the dress. Alyssa was flipping and dancing around the stage but by the time she grabbed her money gun and it didn’t work, she fell flat. Kerri was funny, charming, cheeky and gave casual voguing and well, I know I love her, but she well and truly earnt the right to survive. As poor Alyssa pulled out her candy bar where she discovered it was once again, just chocolate. And then they literally inserted a sad trombone as she exited the competition.

Backstage poor Alyssa was emotional to leave so soon but I quickly reminded her that while she left early, she did get to show the world how flawless her drag is and honestly, she is the perfect kind of queen to come back and totally dominate an All Stars season. With that, with laughed, we cried and quickly demolished an icy Alyssacado Hunterrine.

Gorgeously smooth and oh so sweet, this dessert terrine has it all. The fresh earthy avocado perfectly blends with the sticky sweetness of the condensed milk. Then when you had in the glory that is some toasted coconut, well, you’re in heaven.

Enjoy!

Alyssacado Hunterrine
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
Coconut Macaroon
70g shredded coconut, lightly toasted plus extra to top (which I forgot)
40ml sweetened condensed milk 
2 eggs, separated
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
Avocado Mousse
2 large avocadoes
2 tsp gelatin powder dissolved in 2 tbsp of boiling water
160ml sweetened condensed milk 
1 lime, zested and juiced
¼ cup thickened cream 
Coconut Mousse
¼ cup thickened cream 
50ml sweetened condensed milk 
½ cup coconut milk 
2 tsp gelatin powder dissolved in 2 tbsp of boiling water

Method
Start by lining a loaf tin or terrine mold with some plastic wrap and preheating the oven to 180C.

First work on your macaroon log by combining everything in a bowl and stirring until just combined. Spoon into a sheet of baking paper and roll to form a tight, condensed log. Transfer to a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, or until starting to golden on the outside. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.

To make the avocado mousse, combine the avocados in a blender with the condensed milk, lime zest and juice and cream and blitz until smooth. Add the gelatin and blend until just combined. Pour the mousse into the lined terrine mould, smoothing out the top before gently pressing the macaroon log into the top leaving just above the surface. Cover and transfer to the freezer to set for a few hours or overnight.

Finally combine the thickened cream and condensed milk in the bowl of a stand mixer and whip until soft peaks form. Combine the coconut milk and gelatinous water in a jug, and with the mixer on low, slowly pour in to the thickened cream so it maintains its volume and doesn’t split. Once combined, pour over the top of the avocado mousse, cover and return to the freezer to set for another few hours.

To serve, remove from the freezer to rest for ten minutes before slicing and serving with a sprinkling of toasted coconut. Then devour.


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Chicken Kezadilla McGee

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Dani and Simon were enjoying holding all the power over on Brawns. However after the Brains evened things up thanks to Hayley, Dani and Chelsea grew tired of Simon’s power specifically, convincing the Brains to work with them to throw the challenge and boot him from the game. While everyone was easily convinced, Dani pushed hard to get the tribe to do her bidding, making it clear it was her move. This annoyed Hayley, who decided she needed to be knocked down a peg and instead threw some votes on Dani as a backup to guarantee Flick is safe should Simon play his idol/s. Ultimately Simon was blindsided, zaddy king, while Dani was left back at camp, irate to have received some votes.

After tribal council Hayley, Flick and the Brains were thrilled by the outcome of tribal council, while Dani called out Hayley for casting some votes against her as a back-up, knowing that if the blindside failed, she would have gone home. While Dani continued to rage, identifying Hayley as the next to go, Queen Hayley just calmly explained that she couldn’t afford to have Flick go home given they are tight and as such, loaded some votes on Dani as a back-up. Simple as that. And ugh, I love how businesslike she is.

The next day the tribes ventured straight to Jonathan where Flick shaded Simon for being blindsided by his own arrogance. Dani tried to sell herself as the mastermind of the move, while George was confident that the Brains were peaking. Particularly since Brains and Brawns are no more, as the tribes are merged. With that, the final 13 dropped their buffs, grabbing a new stunning dark teal number – finally mixing things up – and were gagged for their first individual reward challenge.

Everyone would need to dig up sacks and then use a see-saw to land their sacks on poles, with the first person to land two scoring the first choice at the merge buffet. With everyone that comes after them getting the dregs, including hidden items, a boiled egg and a phone call home. Gerald, Baden, Emmett, Laura and Emmett were first to start shooting their sacks, with Emmett first to land a bag before the rest of the tribe joined them. 

George landed a sack, quickly followed by his second, immediately snatching a burger from the feast. Hayley finished second and snatched herself a steak and beer, allowing her and George enough time to catch up on the state of their tribes. Despite being the last to get her sacks, Chelsea was next and jagged herself a phone call home. Dani picked a baked potato, Wai went for a covered item of pancakes while Cara lucked out with some donuts. Emmett got a surprise jar of lollies, Baden got a hidden boiled egg, Laura grabbed surprise pizza and wine, while Andrew got smashed avo, Flick picked a bowl of rice leaving Kez and Gerald to fight it out for the banana and milk.

With the challenge over Chelsea finally gave her boyfriend a call, breaking down as they caught up and the tribe cutely yelled out to Jimmy in the background. And well, Chelsea is now fired up and ready to fight for the win.

The tribe finally ventured to the merge camp where Kez was thrilled to be reunited with her gal pals, while Wai was shocked to have made it this far while Emmett tried to bring the remaining Brawns back together. While they technically had a numbers disadvantage, Emmett was confident that given George and Cara have always felt on the bottom of the Brains, he could take control of the merge tribe and well, game. And given how elaborately he spoke about felling the brains, it doesn’t feel like things will go well for him since pride, you know, comes before the fall.

Talk turned to what to call the tribe, with Emmett suggesting ‘Love’, while George wanted to call it ‘Queen Elizabeth’ or ‘Unity,’ which Dani thankfully shut down. Sadly however she didn’t kill his next choice, ‘Fire’. With that, the Fire Tribe were born and Dani got to work telling all the Brawns just how dangerous Hayley is and that she needs to be the next to go.

Meanwhile Gerald tried to charm George with some union poetry, while Hayley calmly charmed Laura into bringing all the Brains back together. Which Hayley desperately needed since she is at a massive disadvantage with the rest of the tribe locked together against her. But Hayley being Hayley, she realised she needed just two more at the next vote, so spoke to Flick and Gerald about joining the Wai, Baden, Andrew, Hayley and Laura alliance. Hayley reminded Flick that the other alliance are in control of the game and have compelling cases to win, and as such, she and Gerald need to join with the desperate people to make a move and take control, boosting their own resumes.

Flick caught up with Chelsea, who quickly shat on Hayley’s pitch – obviously – before returning to Hayley and assuring her that she is all in, but is worried about how exactly she will be able to pull Gerald to their side. WIth that, Hayley quickly disappeared to try and come up with plan B through Z. She caught up with her solid five to desperately try and think of said plans, while the other eight confidently laughed it up back at camp. But given that Hayley still has an idol and is ready to play to take one of her rivals out, I don’t think they should let their guards down.

Again, pride. Falls. All that jazz.

George meanwhile was off on his own, trying to play both sides. First things first, he pulled Emmett aside to talk about booting Hayley due to her scrambling. However Emmett shared that he’d prefer to flush out the idol instead and get rid of her next. As such, George went for a walk to the well with Hayley, Laura and Baden, pointing out that he would rather jump back to the Brains and as such, will get the information to ensure Hayley plays her idol at the correct time. And you know, destroy the hopes and dreams of the Brawns.

With so much scrambling already complete, the Fire tribe joined Jonathan for the first immunity challenge where they would each have to hold a bar above their heads to keep a ball balanced in a gutter. Last one standing taking out victory. Gerald was first to drop, followed by Wai and Hayley. This made Dani feel confident enough to drop, followed by Laura and Cara. Kez, Flick and Baden dropped out in quick succession, leaving Chelsea, Emmett, Andrew and GEORGE to battle it out for the first individual immunity of the season. Tragically he was the next to drop, followed by Chelsea – who got too confident with her shoulder presses – before Emmett desperately tried to get Andrew to take a deal. Before Andrew dropped after a valiant fight, handing Emmett immunity. And further solidifying the target on his back.

Back at camp Emmett’s confidence was at an all time high, thrilled to survive the first merge tribal council and you know, stack the odds in the Brawns favour. That being said he was still pretty intense about keeping the Brawns strong, with Flick clearly irked by his attitude. That being said, the group stood firm and locked in their vote for Laura, but are planning to make Hayley nervous enough to burn her idol. To solidify the Brawn majority, Emmett shared his lolly jar with his allies while George charmed them with his Labor caucus shtick.

And then he took all the information to Hayley, in exchange for she and Brains voting out the person he wants without blowing his cover as a double agent. Well, after George pulled Emmett aside to assure him that Hayley is panicked and he advised she definitely play her idol for herself. He then approached Dani and lied that she is the Brains target, all while Kez spotted an oddly clean rock at the edge of the billabong. Before she wadded over and pulled out her second hidden immunity idol, right in front of George who was well and truly over the Brawn confidence stepping over into arrogance.

Kez caught up with Flick and Gerald to let them know about her idol, while George focused his attention on forcing the Brains to throw their votes on Kez instead and burn both idols in a single tribal council. As such, he ran to find the old Brains and quickly told them about Kez and that they would be voting for Kez but are to pitch things for Dani, while playing the idol on Laura and saving her. Which isn’t nearly as confusing as that sentence made it sound. This won’t be another Cara/Daini situation, I promise.

The Brains meanwhile spread the information around, though Hayley wasn’t exactly confident whether she could trust George enough to follow through with his plans. And while she searched her brain to try and find a way this isn’t also the best move for George, she struggled and as such, felt like it had to be a good idea to follow his lead.

At tribal council Emmett’s confidence was in full force while Baden admitted that despite the apparent numbers advantage for the Brains, a couple of them had sadly jumped ship. George tried to give non answers to keep everyone happy and zen, without spooking anything. Kez admitted the vote is split in half, but she would be voting for trust while Dani was just straight up confident. Speaking of Emmett, he said the Brains five are the biggest threat to him because he’s never tested trust with them before Hayley tried to boss the situation and point out that she has the hidden immunity idol and as such, won’t be going home despite their confidence.

George implored both sides to stick to the plan while Kez agreed they all just needed to power on ahead. Emmett doubled down, assuring Jonathan that everyone in his alliance is on the same page and ready to move forward. Flick meanwhile knows that the game is about deceit, but at this stage needs to stay focused on trust. At this stage. Laura reminded everyone that she has correctly played an idol in the past, while Hayley agreed it is hard to do but they need to keep it random to try and outwit the Brawn majority. Kez continued to preach loyalty and admitted that she is not worried, before Hayley reminded everyone only one person wins this game and as such, sticking with a super majority is kinda the worst possible idea for all of them.

With that the tribe voted, Hayley listened to George and played her idol for Laura, ultimately negating eight votes cast against her. This made the Brawns very nervous, though poor Kez wasn’t nervous enough to play her idol. After the eight Laura votes were read, the rest were split between Dani and Kez with Queen Kez ultimately booted from the game before she passed her idol off to Flick – is this legal?! – after Wai asked her to leave some pants for her to wear like a successful Angelina/Natalie jacket moment.

Like Simon before her, Kez is just such a delightfully fun person, that she didn’t let a blindside get her down as she happily arrived at Loser Lodge. I pulled her in for a hug and told her how gutted I was to see her go, though grateful that she would no doubt appear on an All Stars soon. And while it seems to have become my go-to platitude, do you honestly think Simon and Kez aren’t locks to return?!

Though maybe that is because I know Kez so well. You see, we first met about five years ago on the bodybuilding circuit – I also trained Teresa Guidice, which is another story for another time – and we just became the best of friends. Mainly because she is a damn boss and I have a passion for riding coattails. Given she lived in the bush for four weeks with only bikepants, I knew that she would need something fiery to warm her up post boot and as such, quickly plated her a Chicken Kezadilla McGee or two.

Like Kez, a quesadilla is the ‘fun one’ of Mexican cuisine and well, this is quite a stellar one at that. A little bit spicy – to quote Daini – dripping in sour cream and paired with a whack of citrus and a tonne of cheese, this is near perfection. Like my Queen Kez.

Enjoy! 

Chicken Kezadilla McGee
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 red onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
800g chicken thighs, diced
4 chipotle chillies in Adobo Sauce
400g can diced tomatoes
salt and pepper, to taste
8 large tortillas
1-2 cups Lady Guagamole
1-2 cups Pico de Vincent Gallo
½ cup sour cream
jack cheese, to taste
1 lime, cut into eighths

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a frying pan over medium heat and once hot, saute the onion and garlic for five minutes, or until soft and sweet. Add the chicken and cook, stirring intermittently for a further five minutes, or until browned. Add the chipotles and diced tomatoes, bring to the boil and reduce to a simmer and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. Season and remove from heat.

To assemble, place about ¼-½ cup of the chicken on each tortilla and spread over half, while spreading guac on another half. Divide pico de gallo between the tortillas, followed by sour cream and a generous heap of cheese. Fold in half to form a semicircle.

To cook, brush a large griddle with oil and place it over high heat. Once scorching, reduce to medium-low and one at a time, cook each quesadilla for a couple of minutes on each side, or until crisp and cooked through.

Remove from heat, squeeze with some lime juice and devour while piping hot.


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Nicken Migniadanza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Poultry, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Sharn’s attempts to play both sides during Phoebe’s boot made her a target with Dave, who questioned how he could trust her. Thankfully for her though poor Nick was the one left feeling all alone and not sure how to survive, given he is the obvious next target. Over at Vakama Harry found an advantage to stop the votes being read at one of the upcoming tribal councils, which could cause issues for Brooke’s plan to blindside Flick. After losing another immunity challenge, Brooke got to work rallying the troops to get revenge, however Harry grew nervous that it was all a ruse to blindside him instead. That feeling snowballed at tribal council, leading to Harry standing up to play his advantage and put a stop to tribal. Ultimately AK stood up and convinced him that he is safe and needs to trust him, which was enough for him to stand down and leave Flick to be blindsided from the game.

That night Mokuta were experiencing fireworks of their own, as Tarzan and Jacqui bickered, leaving the rest of the tribe to feel like the kids watching their parents’ marriage dissolved. Oh and most importantly, they were bickering because Jacqui was farting like a trooper. Which makes her instantly 80% more charming.

We checked in with Vakama the next morning where Brooke was giddy to have followed in Lydia’s footsteps and took revenge against the person that blindsided her. Whether it benefited her game or not. Speaking of her game, Brooke was desperate to find out what the advantage Harry went to play was so that she could plan against it. One by one, she, AK and Locky pulled him aside to try and get the information out of him and honestly, I love his ability to stay quiet with a shit eating grin on his face. Harry was feeling good about his decision to stay quiet, though wanted to use it for ultimate impact and as such, looped Shonee in on its power to plan for the future. Talk obviously turned to what happens should they win the next immunity challenge and whether they should pass it off to Nick to protect him and make sure the key to their merge plan sticks around.

Speaking of Nick, he was all alone doing the dishes in the shallows, knowing that he was busy working to earn favour and get him and Lee out of the horrible position that they have found themselves in. While he appears to be out, Nick knows that Survivor is all about ups and downs and as such, he just needs to find a way to ride it out until he can find a crack. He caught up with his two closest allies, who are actually one ally and one enemy. Nick’s hope was that they could work together to get to the merge, reunite with Shonee and Harry and take control. Sadly for him, obviously, Sharn has no interest in working him and worse still, David can see how nervous he is and as such, he wants to put him out of his misery and kill the chance of Harry and Shonee taking control. As such, David pulled Nick aside to set a trap, floating the idea of another secret, unlikely alliance. He floated cross-tribal alliances, big moves all the while planning to eliminate any options that may arise.

My love Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge where the tribes would climb over a wall, slide up a big, hard pole, dive from the top into the water, swim to release puzzle pieces and then use said pieces to solve the puzzle. With the victors getting BLT sandos and Bloody Marys, so you know Shonee is happy. With that motivation pushing her forward, Vakama got out to an early lead, until Mokuta outclassed them on the pole with some human centipede action. And most importantly, Nick and Lee grabbed each others bums and undercarriages. That being said, neither tribe was really good at it. Mokuta extended their newfound lead, collecting the puzzle pieces before Harry mounted the pole. And given Nick was on the puzzle portion for Mokuta, they solved it and won reward before Vakama even made it back with their pieces.

Before exiting to enjoy their BLTs, Jonathan advised Mokuta that they were able to take someone from the losing tribe to share their spoils with them. Without hesitating, they selected Brooke before Jonathan obviously gave them one other choice, with them eventually settling on Shonee, hoping that she would be the smallest eater. Clearly unaware how much she loves a sandwich. Particularly when it comes with a side of information, despite being on the losing tribe.

Back at Mokuta the tribe – plus Brooke and Shonee – got to work pouring their bloody marys and whipping up their BLTs, much to the disgust of Jacqui who just did not want to share. Everyone was far more welcoming, not so subtly asking about what happened at the previous tribal council. Or in Moana’s case, asking if she and Locky were making out yet. Shonee quickly noted that Moana was running the tribe and as such, when she was summoned to share their first conversation, she gamely played into it and knew her future safety could depend on it. Eventually she made her way to her actually friend and ally Nick, who desperately tried to let her know how screwed he is on the tribe and that David is the one gunning for him.

We returned to the hungry trio of Vakama boys where we learnt that Jacqui left her clothes on the pontoon after the challenge. And as such, they stole them to make a scarecrow. Though Harry did plan to give it back, given that merge is right around the corner. The girls returned to camp and tried to downplay the majesty of the sandwiches before sharing that Nick ignored them so as not to give his tribe another reason to vote him out. Knowing that his ally is in danger, this made Harry even more inclined to pass off the advantage should Mokuta lose the immunity challenge.

My love Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes had to hold a rope tethered to a platform and walk between the platform and a series of blocks, stacking the blocks without tipping the platform with the rope. First tribe to finish snatching immunity. Vakama got out to an early lead, but given how quickly people could flip their stacks, we all know it could mean nothing. Brooke became the first person to get to three blocks, though quickly dropped. Jacqui was close to three before dropping, pissing her off and making her toss her rope in anger. Much to Zach’s frustration. By the time she threw her second tantrum and took out Zach’s stack, he was furious. Ultimately Brooke was the first to complete her stack, leaving her to stand at the end, desperately willing her tribe to hurry the F up and join her. Which they did, leaving AK and Shonee to catch-up while Mokuta just tried to get on the board. Given it is quite boring to write about the back and forth of blocks, Shonee finally claimed immunity for Vakama, sending Mokuta and her ally Nick back to tribal council.

Much to Nick’s dismay. Particularly after Harry explained the advantage to his tribe and Locky cautioned him to hold on to it to so as not to put a target on their backs come merge.

Back at camp the tribe were annoyed to lose the challenge, more specifically so at Jacqui, given her tantrums were the reason for said lost. That being said while the tribe were annoyed at Jacqui, David was thrilled to be going back to tribal council to get rid of Nick. And somehow call it a blindside. Moana channeled Abi-Maria, thrilled to vote him out given he has dared to vote for her three times. Wisely David wanted to make this vote a unifying move to keep the tribe strong heading in to the merge, so Moana got to rallying the troops while David pulled Nick aside to loop him in on the fake plan of the tribe joining together to get rid of Jacqui.

While David thought he was pulling the wool over Nick’s eyes, Nick knew that David was planning to target him which made him angry enough to force him to put his money where his mouth is. As such, he pulled Lee and Sharn aside to float the idea of blindsiding David with an idol in his pocket. The spoiler being that he has to work with Jacqui and Tarzan to split the vote and get rid of him, or the worst case scenario of his puppet Zach. Nick caught up with Jacqui to let her know that David has been throwing her name around and given she fought with Zach at the challenge, it looked like she may actually flip just because she likes Nick better.

Meanwhile David was feeling confident about the upcoming vote, though was nervous about where Sharn’s loyalties actually lie, given she has maintained her spot in the middle. David and Moana pulled Sharn aside to give her the chance to pledge her undying loyalty and while she kinda did, she also hated the thought of turning on Nick.

At tribal council David pretended that last tribal’s idol flash wasn’t a cocky move and instead was him telling his allies that they can trust him and have something that can protect them. Which Nick obviously called bullshit on. He then doubled down, saying that the last vote also was a terrible move for him and being on the wrong side has made him the biggest target. Moana tried to downplay her rage, assuring the tribe that this is the group she wants to ride with after the merge. Nick agreed, though was far less convincing, while Lee tried to bail him out and reiterate that Mokuta will own the merge. David spoke that the upcoming vote is what will dictate the merge for the tribe and whether they go in strong, or fractured. Tarzan spoke about trust, Zach spoke about needing to play it calm, even if he had heard his name thrown around.

Jacqui inferred that a blindside may be imminent, while Moana outlined the merge plan for the tribe to get rid of Vakama before turning on each other. And as such, she needs to eliminate someone that may work with others and while she may have mistrust with people, she knows that she needs to let it go and move forward together. David spoke about trust, trying to channel Queen Shane Gould in the process before Sharn shared that she hopes that her loyalties can be proven after this vote, despite how painful it may be. Nick tried to play up his trustworthiness as a last ditch effort before the tribe voted. And tragically cut him from the game.

I honestly feel like we’re stuck in the darkest timeline right about now, which is what I screamed at Nick through tears as he walked into Loser Lodge. I mean, to think but a week ago that season 1 hadn’t taken a single hit, and now, we’re down to two left. While Nick had played a lower key game than his first outing, the swap well and truly screwed him and while he had to elevate his 

 

 

I’m not sure if these are a legit thing, or if this is just an Australian chicken shop speciality that has rolled over from the ‘80s, but they are great, so who cares? Salty bacon and the punch of garlicky butter elevate the chicken and make it truly sing.

Enjoy!

 

 

Nicken Migniadanza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 tbsp butter, softened
8 garlic cloves, minced
4 chicken thighs
1 sprig of rosemary, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste
8 slices streaky bacon

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Combine the butter and garlic in a bowl.

Place the chicken on a cutting board and sprinkle with the rosemary and season well with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Roll the chicken into a tight round and wrap with bacon to keep together, securing with a bunch of toothpicks.

Place on a lined baking sheet, top with some garlic butter and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour.

Once cooked through, remove from the oven to rest for five minutes before serving with some Gabriel Mash and devouring. Fearing for the safety of the remaining rascals.

 

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