Jasmine Mustard Meatloaf

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars BenDeLa, no Shangie, wait maybe we skip that one – though congrats Trixie my dear! Previously on Drag Race oh wait, butterfly genocide. How about the Holislay Spectacular? No, nothing? Well whether you like it or not my dear Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross have sourced ten of the most sickening queens in the Runiverse to compete for a slot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame with Chad, Alaska and Trixie who shoulda been Shangie after DeLa won her own brand of prize. Tomfoolery.

In any event the heart of season 10, Monique Heart was the first queen to return to the week room looking brown cow stunning to reclaim her time and crown, now with more than glitter and Jesus in her suitcases. She was quickly joined by Trinity Taylor – who is now Trinity The Tuck – who shocked me by slaying season 9 and TBH, I am HERE for her slaying All Stars 4. Another person that grew on me as her season progressed was Naomi Smalls who ruturned on those giant pins, ready to come out from Bob’s shadow and show that she is more than a model. Speaking of Bob, her sib Monet Exchange also returned to soak up the competition and hopefully show some killer runways, despite the fact she turned up in a bodysuit.

They were joined by G-G-Gia who I am absolutely here for being here, particularly as she is now an out and proud trans woman. And she is always willing to bring the drama. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh, my dear Farrah is here and whinier than ever, and hoping to prove that she is now ready to compete. Not that Monique is impressed … by her arse. The next queen needs no introduction – Queen Jush and global icon Jasmine Masters is back and hot damn I need her to win. Despite Monet not wanting anyone else from season 7 or 9, Fan Favourite Valentina has returned to show whether she can lip sync and I assume, to prove to Farrah once and for all that she loves her. Or lean into her Villaintina ways *please*

Despite selling it as ten queens, this is allegedly the complete set of All Stars 4 as Ru arrived to greet the queens and confirm All Stars rules are in full effect. Before things kicked off, Ru invited one final team to join the competition with Latr ila arriving in handcuffs, setting team fears into the heart of all queens. Say it with Farrah now, ooooohhhhhh.

Side note: Manila’s entry look is everything.

After getting reacquainted with the tragic tail of team Latrila, Ru quickly allayed our collective fears by welcoming them to compete as individuals and get a do-over after the All Stars 1 dumpster fire.

Not wanting to dwell for too long, the Pit Crew arrived to open the library for an opening reading challenge. Monet, Naomi and Monique got off to a strong start, Farrah struggled as expected, Trinity was pretty funny, Valentina was vicious, Jasmine was peak Jasmine and Gia was confusing. Latrice slayed the damn house down and Manila was cute, though I would have preferred drop dead gorgeous you know? In any event, Latrice rightly snatched the win. Before departing Ru announced that they’d be kicking off the season with an All Star Spangled Variety Show for an audience of LGBT veterans. Which Farrah obviously took to mean she could find herself a straight husband. With that the queens got to unpacking and kiki-ing, with Naomi excited to be on a season with Manila and Latrice given they are old as sin. Farrah and Trinity spoke about their talents, with Farrah going the usually successful burlesque number and Trinity doing a tucking tutorial. Monique announced the debut of her single Brown Cow Stunning, which Valentina lived for and Gia thought was defined to fail. Like Farrah, who she doesn’t believe is talented enough to be here.

The queens returned the next day with Monet nervous about singing live and Monique still excited about her song, before Jasmine shared that she would be doing stand-up as her talent. With zero preparation. Valentina removed her eyebrows with the queens worried about how late she is running before Gia stirred the pot, asking everyone who they felt would land in the bottom before suggesting Trinity will lose, given tucking isn’t a talent. Which is either going to bite Gia in Farrah’s pancake arse, or allow Trinity to surprise us.

Jennifer Lewis joined Ru, Mish, Cars and Ross on the judges panel as Monique kicked off the variety show, slaying the damn house down with her new single. Naomi did a better version of Milk’s fashionable lip sync from last season until she did a wig reveal to a male-pattern baldness wig and damn, it raised it to something special. Gia did a kabuki number and daaaaamn, it was stunning. Following Gia was Trinity’s tucking tutorial song-skit, which finished with the ultimate tight-tuck reveal. Farrah pulled out some burlesque in the hope of slipping into the top like Roxxxy and DeLa, however had to settle for slipping on the garments she threw on the floor and completely gave up. She was followed by another struggle street as opera singer Monet couldn’t find her notes while singing about her sponges, though thankfully she slayed the dancing. Manila painted to classical music and while the rest of the queens were confused, her mania and outfit changed sold the reveal that she painted the pot next to her. Poor Jasmine didn’t seem to make any jokes, let alone land them and I am so heartbroken. Thankfully Latrice arrived to bring some excitement to the show, doing a killer colour guard performance and proving why she is a damn icon. Rounding out the show was Valentina who made fun of her fail lip sync and gave a delightful lip sync performance.

Despite both deserving to be in the top, Latrice and Gia were declared safe with Manila and Valentina. Monique was praised by the judges for wearing actual cow print and slaying her performance. The judges loved Trinity’s ability to tell a complete story in a short time and for leaning into her comedic side and lived for Naomi’s ugly wig reveal. Clearly on the bottom end of the back, Monet was praised for her sponges though advised that she needs to elevate. And I assume, find a note. Farrah’s costume was praised, however they wished she could have come back from her stumble and not been so nervous. And Jasmine, well, they were concerned about the fact she didn’t prepare and gave a sub-par performance. Ultimately Trinity and Monique took out the win, with Farrah and Jasmine officially landing in the bottom two and up for elimination. Which obviously made Farrah cry.

Trinity was thrilled to be in the top but was anxious about having to eliminate one of the bottom queens. Farrah continued to struggle to accept her literal stumble, continuing to cry and annoy the hell out of Monique. Jasmine on the other hand couldn’t see her performance wasn’t funny. Monique pulled Farrah aside to deliberate assuring her that if she doesn’t stop crying, she will boot her ASAP which seemed to pull Farrah out and showed a fire I have never seen from her. Trinity promised Jasmine that she would be sending home the worst performer, but didn’t really say who she thought that was. When the bottom switched couches Trinity reiterated that Farrah needs to stop crying, while Jasmine couldn’t be bothered to fight for her place and damn, it is heartbreaking to see Jush so defeated.

Trinity and Monique lip synced to Mariah Carey’s Emotions which is still a bop, and while it seemed rather even between them Monique literally flipped her wig into the rafters, which allowed Trinity to take centre stage and own the lip sync. Despite a late breaking, orgasmic comeback from Monique, Trinity ultimately snatched the win and tragically cut the jush out of the competition, eliminating Jasmine Masters in tenth place. Who gave Farrah a pep talk on the way out and damn I love her and my heart is broken. It’s All Stars 4 you junkie whores, indeed.

While she firmly stood by the fact that her performance was funny, Jush took her elimination in stride. Despite Monet’s shady comments about season 7 being subpar, Jasmine is a true icon of the show and drag and she was more than worthy of her place in All Stars. And the Hall of Fame. Which I reiterated to her as she got her jush on and we smashed a Jasmine Mustard Meatloaf in preparation of the inevitable ruturning queens episode.

I know, I know – meatloaf has a bad reputation. But I love them, damnit and this one is bloody delicious. Side note: why am I ocker now? The tangy of the mustard punches through the melting meat and sharp cheddar. Then you add a thick, creamy sauce? That is my heaven.

Enjoy!

Jasmine Mustard Meatloaf
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced
500g veal mince
500g pork mince
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
¼ cup wholegrain mustard
2 carrots, grated
1 zucchini, grated
2 tsp chilli flakes
½ cup parmesan cheese
handful flat-leaf parsley leaves, roughly chopped
2 eggs
salt and pepper, to taste
¾ cup sour cream
2 tbsp chives, sliced

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Heat a lug of olive oil in a skillet and sweat the onion for a couple of minutes. Add the garlic and bacon and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until fragrant and cooked. Transfer to a bowl to cool.

Once it has cooled, add the mince, breadcrumbs, 3 tablespoons of mustard, carrots, zucchini, chilli, parmesan, parsley and eggs with a good whack of salt and pepper. Stir until well combined and press into a lined loaf tin. Transfer to the oven to bake for an hour, or until cooked through. You may need to cover in foil if it starts to look too browned. Remove from the oven to stand for ten minutes.

Whist standing, combine a tablespoon of mustard with the sour cream and chives.

To serve, slice the meatloaf and place on a bed of Gabriel Mash and drown in sauce.

Devour.

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Misso Fame Pork Ribs

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, RuPaul's Drag Race 7, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the final five were tasks with battling their inner saboteur head-on – Nina Bonina Brown caught gagged to have inspired a challenge – and walking the runway as their best and worst selves. Despite having the most aggressive inner saboteurs, Miz Cracker and Kameron Michaels struggled while Aquaria slayed the house down. Once again Kameron survived a lip sync and poor Cracker was left to be thin, white and salty on a plane back to NYC.

The final four reconvened in the Werk Room where Aquaria was sad to see her final NY sister go while Eureka pointed out that once again Kameron slayed the lip sync and as such, is fast becoming everyone’s biggest threat. Asia clearly had some remorse for saying Cracker lacked star power on the runway and therefore made a public apology. Which did nothing more than make Eureka terrified of her opinions. Oh … and then Asia shared her opinion with us, identifying Eureka as the least deserving of being in the final three for being too damn much, and just wanting the bragging rights of being the first big girl winner.

The next day the queens were delighted to learn that their final challenge would require them to write and record a verse on her song American, perform it on the mainstage to Todrick’s most difficult choreography or all time and appear on Ru and Michelle’s classic podcast, What’s The Tee? Ru made a quick exit while the girls got to work writing their verses, with Asia hoping to redeem herself after her Cher Rusical disaster. Though given she can’t sing and isn’t a trained dancer, she doesn’t seem hopeful.

Aquaria was up first to record her verse and as is her brand, was full of confidence until Todrick beat her down and – wait for it – called her out for being butch. Oh wait, no, it didn’t dent her confidence, and she was sure that she slayed the challenge despite being read for filth. While that was underway Eureka dropped by What’s The Tee? and made quick work of charming Ru and Michelle, dodging whether being on her second season was an advantage and throwing in some killer emotional content about her mother … which screams winner’s edit.

Sensing Todrick would attack her, Asia was nervous to record the song before being proven correct on the first take, read for her inability to keep on the beat and for sounding like a robot. Aquaria dropped by the podcast and while she usually sucks at stringing together sentences, she was delightful, charming and spun a good story and dammit, I want her to win. Kameron followed her on the podcast and admitted to being shy and reserved on camera and being scared to share his emotions. He then spoke about being similar to his deceased dad and how his passing inspired him for greatness, and I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Speaking of tears, Eureka went to record with the tyrannical Todrick though somehow got away relatively unscathed. Though she was made to add an elephant noise to her verse, so yeah. There’s that. Asia rounded out the podcast portion of the episode talking about losing his parents within a matter of months, building a family of his friends and always being true to himself. Rounding out the challenge, Kameron dropped by Todrick and was quickly told to go up an octave if he wanted to succeed. Which he did, knocked it out of the park and damn I love our quiet queen.

Back in the Werk Room Kameron was proud of her performance, though wasn’t keen to perform for her sisters backstage. While Eureka tried her darndest to get her to perform, Kameron’s will held out long enough for Eureka and Asia to start fighting and deflect from her verse.

Before I could figure out how serious they were, the queens returned to the mainstage to learn the choreography with Todrick who quickly spoke about raising one’s bar. Which he does not do for me. Anyway, Aquaria slayed the choreography in one go and then started to cry about how great the final performance is going to be. On the flipside, Asia struggled despite giving it her all, Kameron also had trouble getting down the moves and Eureka was stuck in her head. The queens learnt the last section together with Asia and Aquaria well and truly up to the challenge while Eureka had no idea what was happening.

The top four walked into the Werk Room for the final time this season to discover a tray of cocktails to toast to their achievements. The drink must have had some sort of effect on Kameron who decided to come and get dressed with the girls … no, wait, it was too hot and she wanted to look good so went back to get dressed solo. The other queens spoke about their biggest moments from the seasons with Aquaria shocked to have won Snatch Game, and Asia and Eureka focusing on their failures. The top four all spoke about the likelihood of their victories, with Asia getting it right by saying Vanjie – who has been name dropped every damn week – is the winner.

When it came to the performance, Aquaria killed her choreography, Asia worked the moves she was given – and looked to be channelling Monét and the damn sponges she hated, FYI – Eureka brought her special branding of crazy and Kameron slayed the freaking house down. On the runway Aquaria was once again stunning and a little slutty, Asia served pageant Cleopatra realness, Kameron served lavender nude glamour and Eureka made sure we remember her name by emblazoning on her body.

The judges loved everything about Aquaria tonight and well everything she has done throughout the entire competition. They loved that Asia showed a piece of herself and her joy in the challenge, and how she has killed most of the competition. Eureka was praised for her performance in the challenge and bringing the silly, and praised her for being super fun, enjoyable and bringing it all season. Finally Kameron received well earned praise for dominating American, looking stunning on the runway, nailing the choreography … and killing all of the lip syncs.

Ru asked the queens to talk to their younger selves, with Aquaria concerned about the quality of her three year old self’s feather boa, baby Asia wearing the season one filter, Eureka reminding herself that being big is beautiful, just like Mika said and Kameron brought all of the feels and nailed the episode. On the flipside, Ru questioned why they deserve to win with Aquaria focusing on the fact she dominated the competition and did the Haus of Needles proud, Asia vowing to be America’s Next Drag Superstar whether she wins or not, Eureka is proud to be extra and Kameron is damn resilient and, TBH, if it is a lip sync for the crown, she is a shoe-in and that is all that matters.

With that, the queens got to their final mainstage lip sync to Mama Ru’s Call Me Mother where Kameron continued her dominance and Aquaria finally showed why she is the front runner. As was the case last season, Ru opted not to eliminate any of the girls and instead sent all four through to the finale to lip sync for the crown. Which makes it lucky I was catching up with Miss Fame while watching this week’s episode!

Fame’s career has gone from strength to strength since Divine-ing out of Violet’s winning season of Drag Race. I mean, modelling contracts, rocking Cannes and still being a chicken loving boss? I don’t know how she does it and still fits in time for her friends like me. That alone makes her worthy of a pick fat helping of Misso Fame Pork Ribs.

There is nothing I love more than a meaty bone melt in my mouth, and these ribs more than fill me up. With joy. Spicy, sticky and full of zesty punch, they are, quite simply, delicious.

Enjoy!

Misso Fame Pork Ribs
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 cup miso paste
½ cup muscovado sugar
1 ½ tsp Sichuan peppercorns, ground
2 tbsp rice wine vinegar
1 ½ tbsp tamari
1 tbsp sesame oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 shallots, minced
1 chilli, sliced
2 oranges, zested and juiced
1 onion, sliced
2 yuzus, sliced
2 racks of pork ribs

Method
Combine the miso paste, sugar, peppercorns, vinegar, tamari, sesame oil, garlic, shallots, chilli and oranges in a bowl and stir to combine.

Preheat oven to 150°C.

Layer a baking dish with the onions and yuzos, generously brush the ribs with the marinade and play on top of the onion-yuzo bed. Add a cup or so of water to the bottom of the tray, cover the tray with foil and place in the oven to bake for two hours. Re-slathering the marinade throughout the cooking.

Remove the foil from the pan, slather the last of the marinade on top and bake for ten minutes or so, or until gloriously sticky. Devour immediately, obvi.

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Thixieshake Nutella

Dessert, Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race 7, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 3, Sweets, TV Recap

After BeBe, Kennedy and Shangela had their chance to plead their case, Trixie arrived free of the guilt of sending anyone to the jury aka the big house, if you prefer Shangie’s terminology. Thorgy kicked things off asking how Trixie felt making it to the end, with Ms Mattel admitting that after floating for the first half of the season, she stopped fearing the worst after landing in the bottom and instead did whatever she want … which worked. Train them butterflies, girl.

Confirming that they have probably already made up their mind that she would go to the end, Thorgy asked who she would be proud to lip sync against in the top two, with Trixie going into bat for Shangela, maybe, saying that she will always be an All Star. Aja brought some spice to the interview asking which of the four she would cut if they had to go to a top three instead, with her echoing her sentiment that BeBe and Kennedy are the two she would debate between. BeBe, because she hasn’t grown in the decade since she won, compared to DeLa, Morgan, Milk or Chi Chi for instance, and Kennedy for wearing a worst final runway outfit than the won she wore in season 7.

Aja then asked how winning would broaden her experience and brand, with Trixie choking back tears talking about all that she has achieved since her season and how like Shangela, that makes her an All Star already. While she kind of had the Shangela-esque growth ask, she was able to convince everyone but Morgan to send her to the end to lip sync for the crown.

When it came to the lip sync, she may not have had the moves nor ever won a lip sync in Drag Race herstory, she commanded the stage and hit every single syllable, turning Kennedy into a back-up dancer. She then started snatching her own wig, piece by piece, and that was when it was all over. Trixie and Kennedy took their place on centre stage and Ru decreed that Trixie Mattel would be joining Chad and Alaska in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

While Trixie may not have had the best track record, her post-season growth and the fact she only tanked one challenge – like both Chad and Alaska on their seasons, FYI – makes her more than worthy of the crown. And any issues people may have with the twists should be directed at the producers – looking at you Alexis Michelle – and not the killer queens.

Which coincidentally is what I said as I held my dear friend Trixie close and handed her an ice cold victory Thixieshake Nutella.

Sweet, a little bit thick and packed full of hidden nuts, this perfectly rich thickshake is the perfect way to toast to the latest Hall of Famer.

Enjoy … (while you think about how much fun she will have with Chalaska during All Stars 4)!

Thixieshake Nutella
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 cups vanilla ice cream
½ cup nutella
¼-½ cup milk
½ cup thickened cream, whipped
¼ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the ice cream, nutella and milk in a blender and blitz until combined.

Pour into a glass, top with whipped cream and sprinkle with hazelnuts.

Then, obviously, down.

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Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly

Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race 7, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 3, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

After seven weeks of fighting their way to the top four, Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross had one final gag for the season … and handing it over to a jury of our queers to decide who would get a chance to lip sync for their crown. And while BeBe couldn’t be genuine enough to snag a slot and the queens, well, I have no idea why they did what they did by eliminating Shangela, pageant girl Kennedy knew how to manage a crowd.

Kennedy proved that she had done a good job forming relationships with the queens, with the jury thrilled to see her file to kiki after BeBe. Aja asked her how she could take her classic drag style into the future and represent the Hall of Fame, which she felt she was already doing after her journey on season 7.

Chi Chi then almost broke down about how proud she was of her surrogate drag mother. Kennedy felt that since BeBe already won, and Trixie and Shangela were already dominating the world, this was her one chance to shine. And based off the beaming smile from DeLa and the round of applause from Milk, Morgan and Thorgy, it was clear that the eliminated queens were won over.

Every single damn one except Thorgy, with Kennedy getting the most votes to continue in the competition.

With BeBe and Shangela out of the way and banished to the back of the stage, the season 7 queens got to work lip syncing to my girl Miley’s Wrecking Ball which I forgot was a balad. Somehow.

While Kennedy pulled out all the stops and was flipping and kicking her way across the stage, it was no match for Trixie who hit every lyric and made sure the judges knew it. With that out of the way, Ru crowned Trixie and Kennedy finished in second place.

Yes, she Roxxxy-ed her way into the final, and yes, the queens seemed to vote for her because she needed the title … but that doesn’t take away from the fact Kennedy is a killer queen and doesn’t always get the recognition she deserves. And I remembered that as she walked into the ashes of the Werk Room – remember I burnt it down as Shangie’s boot – we hugged it out, and split a Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly worthy of a runner up.

Now I like Aeroplane Jelly as much as the next man, or their jingle, but this is the only port wine jelly you want. A little tart, a little sweet and most importantly, packing a boozy punch … it makes everything ok.

Enjoy!

Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
5 gelatine leaves
2 cups port wine
2 cups raw caster sugar

Method
Break the gelatine leaves into a saucepan with ½ cup of the port wine and cook, whisking, over a low heat or until the gelatine is completely dissolved. Add the sugar and cook until completely dissolved. Remove from the heat, and stir through the remaining port until combined.

Strain into a mould and refrigerate overnight, or until set.

Then devour.

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Fame Hungry

Procrasti-baking with our celebrity faux-riends

RuPaul’s Drag Race 7

Misso Fame Pork Ribs

Thixieshake Nutella

Kennedy Davenport Wine Jelly