Mayhem Milanese Risotto

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru mixed things up and threw a ball at the final 11 with the theme celebrating the impending end of the world via global warming, or maybe WWIII that is currently edging nearing. While Monet loved herself sick on the runway, Ru and Michelle didn’t agree, Dusty missed the mark, Asia helped everyone else while Aquaria and Kameron absolutely slayed. Ultimately Aquaria snatched the win while Monet sent my number two thirst trap Dusty Ray Bottoms out of the competition.

The queens ruturned to the werk room where poor Monet wasn’t feeling it and was sad that the NYC numbers have dropped. Cracker asked how Asia felt about helping everyone else at the cost of her own look, with her sharing she felt used and abused by the other girls. Though as Mayhem pointed out, she offered … but since I love Asia I will put it down to her venting her frustrations about looking terrible in front of her idol. Cracker jumped in and told her that gifts are given freely and that maybe people feel she didn’t need help since she is confident. While the queens tried to point out that they were competing, she said she wanted to honour their sisterhood. Though if they do want to compete, it isn’t ending well for them.

As Milk as Celine once said – I assume – a new day has come, and the queens returned to the werk room with tensions between The Vixen and Eureka at an all time high, though the former plans to ignore the latter and starve her of attention. Before putting it to the test, Ru returned to oversee the girls turning themselves into drag army recruits In the words of Alexis Mateo – Miss Vanjie. Miss, Vaaannjie. Miss … Vaaaaaaaaanjjjiiiiieeee – I want you to come on home baby. I’m a fucking drag queen! BAM! Asia looked meh, Aquaria channelled mumma Sharon, Monet channelled me and looked hella drunk, Eureka was thirsty, Mayhem went bridal, Miz obvi brought personality, Monique honoured Trinity with a tight Tuck, Blair looked like a kindy kid playing dress-up, The Vixen had a killer storyline and Kameron, obvi, was amazing. The Vixen took out the win, handing her the opportunity to pair up the queens for an improv challenge where they will be extreme guests on the new daytime talk show Bossy Rossy.

But seriously, listen to Sally Jesse and let’s turn this into a real show, okkkkkkkuuuuuuuuurrr?

The Vixen obviously used her powers wisely, snatching Asia for herself and pairing up Blair and Monique, Monet and Kameron and Cracker and Mayhem, leaving her two nemeses Eureka and Aquaria to self-combust. Monet and Kameron were slated to appear on the episode titled ‘My Freaky Addiction is Ruining My Life!’, The Vixen and Asia will tackle ‘Why You So Obsessed With Me?’, Blair and Monique got ‘I Married A Cactus’, Aquaria and Eureka got lucky with the ‘Look At Me! I’m A Sexy Baby!’ episode while Cracker and Mayhem were tasked with ‘Save Me From My Deadly Fear Of … Pickles!’

Asia and The Vixen got to werk with Asia nervous they will either slay or completely bomb, with no in between. The Vixen shared that she tried to be fair with the pairs, though deliberately set up Eureka and Aquaria to fail. Hard. Sadly they seemed to doing well while she and Asia discovered their character descriptions echoed the drama between Miz Cracker and Aquaria, leading to them leaning into the joke and playing their fellow queens which you KNOW is not going down well. Monet wasn’t loving being paired with Kameron giving how quiet she is, though they seemed to be cute together. Cracker decided she would relish – get it – the role of being Dr Dill the pickle, while Eureka just hoped Mayhem could bring it. Blair and Monique were working well together, deciding on Vanjie as a safe word so they can keep each other in check and share the limelight. Bless them. Meanwhile Asia pulled Monet aside to get some T on Aquaria and Miz Cracker to flesh out their storyline, with Monet living for the drama that will ensue.

The queens arrived at the set of the Bossy Rossy Show where Blair and Monique brought it as two women fucking the same cactus and finishing with vanjie screaming fight. Monet arrived to share about her passion for eating hip pads, while Kameron stole the show as a panty sniffing addict. Next up were Mayhem and Cracker, with Mayhem selling the typical talk show host guest though like Monet, was completely owned by Miz Cracker. The copycat copycat-ers The Vixen and Asia arrived with The Vixen struggling from start, breaking character when she even had one. While Asia lifted the energy, a wig reveal couldn’t save them as The Vixen just ran off stage mid-scene. Despite being punished by being paired together, Aquaria and Eureka absolutely slayed the show shading Valentina and breaking down after discovering they shared a man and tantrumed like their lives depended on it.

Elimination Day rolled around with Cracker hoping someone botches the runway to make it clear who is in danger. Monet was questioning herself though lived for sharing the drama re The Vixen and Asia shading Aquaria and Miz Cracker. Asia asked if The Vixen had cleared the air with Eureka and Aquaria, with The Vixen hoping to start a line of T-shirts with her ‘don’t poke the bear catch-phrase.’ Mayhem took the time to hear what The Vixen’s issues are before working to clear the air between Eureka and The Vixen. Against all odds, Mayhem helped them both open up and explain why they behave the way they do … and it was really heartwarming. Bless fucking Mayhem.

On the Denim and Diamonds runway – with extra special guest judges Carrie Preston and Shania Twain – Monet looked cute with big hair … to boot, Kameron brought sexy Dolly realness, The Vixen brought denim elegance, Asia channeled Mad Max, Aquaria had a damn denim fan, Eureka channeled Elvis, Blair was adorable, Monique brought the sex, Mayhem gave us a pop of colour with a pink Opry inspired look … only to be shown up by Miz Cracker with her pink jumpsuit clad moron Pippi Longstockings look. Asia, Blair, Kameron and Aquaria were safe before Ru gave Kameron the chance to talk to his idol Shania who thanked her for inspiring him as a child and starting him on the journey to being a drag queen. I’ve said it way too many times to count, but Kameron is the fucking sweetest and I love her. When she gets airtime, obvi.

Michelle obviously felt Monet’s look was a miss and the judges feeling she didn’t go for her character on Bossy Rossy. The Vixen’s outfit was loved while her performance in the challenge was read for filth. Eureka received universal praise on both counts, the judges loved Monique – and they threw out another Miss Vanjie reference – Mayhem’s look was read for filth though they felt she held back in the challenge. Miz Cracker’s outfit and challenge performance were beloved, particularly all the weird puns. Once again poor Cracker was pipped at the post with Eureka taking out victory in the challenge. Monique was also safe leaving The Vixen, Monet and Mayhem in the bottom three, with The Vixen scraping through by the skin of her teeth while the other girls were tasked with lip syncing to Man! I Feel Like A Woman.

Once again Monet slayed, immediately doing a cheeky wig reveal, riding an invisible motorbike, dying her hair and air guitaring, with poor Mayhem not even able to save herself with a cartwheel. While she was sad to be exiting the competition so early, she was proud to just have made it and proved herself what she can do. Though how could you see it any other way when you’re sitting down to a big bowl of Mayhem Milanese Risotto.

Creamy and delicately flavoured, there is nothing better than a milanese risotto. Plus it is the perfect storm of being super tasty AND super simple. What more could you ask for?

Nothing. The answer is nothing. So enjoy!

Mayhem Milanese Risotto
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1L chicken stock
1 tsp saffron threads
olive oil
butter
2 onions, diced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 ½ cups arborio rice
½ cup dry vermouth
¾ cup grated parmesan, plus extra to top
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring the stock and saffron to a boil in a medium saucepan before reducing to a gentle simmer to keep warm.

Meanwhile heat a lug of olive oil and a knob of butter in a dutch oven over low heat and sweat the onion and garlic for ten minutes or so. Add the rice and cook for five minutes, or until they become translucent.

Add the vermouth and cook stirring until it is all absorbed. Working one ladle at a time, add the stock, stirring constantly and adding more once it is absorbed. Once all the stock has absorbed stir through the parmesan, season well and serve immediately.

Devouring, though being careful of the heat.

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Dusty Ray Butters Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with creating ads for RuPaul’s three new dating apps. Despite having a small role, Asia owned the competition and delighted Michelle and Carson, while Mayhem was forgettable and Yuhua floundered in the bottom. Ultimately Mayhem got noticed in the lip sync, saving herself and sending Yuhua out of the competition.

The queens ruturned to the Werk Room where Mayhem vowed to avoid the bottom two for the rest of the season and to fight, while Monet pulled yet another sponge out of thin air and offered it to her to elevate her look. Staunchly against the damn sponges, Asia was shocked they kept manifesting before everyone congratulated her on her win … despite borrowing gloves from Blair. Monique was acting quiet, leading to her sharing that Eureka had stirred shit up in untucked and told her that Mayhem threw her under the bus on the mainstage. While Monique kept coming for her, Mayhem stood her ground and said everyone is so loud that sometimes she never gets a chance to talk. She then vowed to take all the girls out and Monique was ready to go to damn war.

Ru arrived mid-way through the queens reading Monet’s flat Nene Leakes hair for the mini-challenge, where the queens would be required to photobomb famous images. Miz owned Venus Williams, Monique cupped the Jonas bulge to glory, Eureka was flat with RiRi, Asia served comedy face with Will and Kate, Mayhem destroyed TayTay, Dusty Ray was a vision as one of Oprah’s children, Blair St scared Bey, Monet cosied up to Mariah, Kameron schooled the Trumps, The Vixen was boring with Grumpy Cat and Aquaria didn’t like the stank of Kim K and Kanye. Despite Monique going for peen, Aquaria took out the win and gave us a triumphant return for Shawn, albeit briefly.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that this week’s mainstage challenge would feature an end of the world ball – Alaskan Winter Realness, Miami Summer Realness and Martian Eleganza Extravaganza … for when the world ends from global warming. The queens then beat the crap out of each other to grab supplies, with Monet hacking away at an expensive fabric she couldn’t work with, much to Asia’s chagrin. Though at least it wasn’t featuring sponges this time. Kameron was focusing on his head – holy basement flooding, batman – Miz Cracker was focusing on her spacewoman look and was desperate to prove she can slay the runway and her first week wasn’t a fluke. Thankfully she channelled the spirit of Vanjie, and as long as that keeps happening she will never falter.

Monet continued to struggle with the sewing, leading to Asia winning hearts and helping all the queens with their sewing and guiding their looks. Aquaria was one of the few queens not struggling, channeling Milk’s paper doll look … much to Blair, Monique and Miz’s confusion since it is just shapes stuck to underwear. Eureka was busting zippers, Monique was praying for some elasticity to help her out and Dusty was burning and cutting himself whilst still being a sexy Sideshow Bob. While she was proud of her steampunk look, Blair was concerned since it is just metal attached to a corset.

Ru arrived to chat to the girls, starting off by talking to Asia about her drag pedigree – throwing shade at Phi Phi in the process – and her sewing prowess making costumes for Kennedy Davenport and Alyssa Edwards in the past. I mean, she even hemmed a skirt for my girl Dolly – she knows what she’s doing, darlin’. In any event, her killer Tweety last week has everyone’s expectations sky-high and I feel that may bight her. Aquaria was confident about her ability to turn a look, though couldn’t repeat the phrase for the promo. The Vixen was channelling Roxxy’s fave colour, ter-quwaz, before telling Ru that she is a known fire starter though didn’t touch on the drama she’s been dragged into in untucked. Blair was channeling old Hollywood glamour, though struggled to overcome looking like a toddler. That being said, he was loving being underestimated. Monet was confident in his ability to turn a look before Ru called out his love for short wigs. While it is easier in real life, the other queens feel she needs to step it up if she wants to win drag race.

After Ru left the girls to finish their lewks, Blair joined Asia in helping the other queens before Miz Cracker started to doubt herself for not adding enough to her outfit. Monet ran her idea by Eureka, I assume because she wanted to make sure the lack of clarity from her sponge look isn’t repeated. Blair shared with Asia that she feels like she is the mother of the group, leading to Asia sharing about the loss of hers parents. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Miz Cracker addressed NYC rumours about Aquaria having a sugar daddy which she emphatically denied … though Miz broke the fourth wall and pleaded that she would like one. Everyone spoke about accents in particular Eureka’s twang before Monet taught the girls that the British used to speak with an American accent before losing it after returning to England. I love her, but damn, that is some bad schooling she had.

On the mainstage, Kameron, Aquaria and Blair owned Alaskan Winter Realness, while Monet and Dusty Ray were underwhelming and Asia was a mess. Shoutout to Monique being inspired by that one time Beyonce said watermelon. Miami Summer Realness saw Mayhem, Kameron, Aquaria and Miz Cracker slay, while Monet’s dress looked unfinished and Asia was an assault on the senses. Kameron and Aquaria continued to own by the time we got to Martian Eleganza Extravaganza, as did Blair and Miz Cracker. On the flipside, Monet was like the painter implies – good from far away, but a mess up close – The Vixen looked terrible and Dusty didn’t really channel Mars.

Mayhem, Eureka, The Vixen, Monique and Blair were deemed safe, leaving the remaining queens to be critiqued. Despite her confidence, the judges read Monet for filth. Kameron Michaels was universally beloved, as was Aquaria. The judges liked one of Dusty’s looks, though felt the other two were an absolute mess and/or missed the point. The judges felt Asia was underwhelming, leading to her breaking down because she spent so much time helping others that she couldn’t finish her own looks. Miz Cracker also received universal praise.

Aquaria took out the win while Asia just missed the bottom, leaving Monet and Dusty to lip sync for their lives. Despite a dominant performance, Dusty couldn’t compete with Monet’s killer performance – complete with death drop fake outs, vogueing, real splits and hilarious gags – sashaying away, though not before being praised for tearing the house down by Ru.

I was ropable by the time Dusty arrived backstage, not because I wanted Monet to go nor because Dusty is one of my top two thirst traps of the season. Nor do I feel like anyone – outside of The Vixen’s final look – did overly worse, but because that lip sync was fire and to lose half of its performers is heartbreaking.

Dusty held me close – because I obvi exaggerated my pain – until my tears slowed to a trickle, before we reconnected, laughed, cried and all the usual jazz before settling in to toast her wonderful performance with a Dusty Ray Butters Chicken.

Silky smooth, this curry gets a bad rap as the choice of basic white people that can’t handle their spice (and by that, I tease people I know that order it) … but it truly is a beauty. Delicately creamy, lightly spiced, and well since it is me, packing a punch of chilli, it is everything you want from a night with Dusty.

Enjoy!

Dusty Ray Butters Chicken
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
600g chicken thighs, cut into a dice
6 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbsp minced ginger
2 tsp hot chilli powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 ½ tsp garam masala
1 ½ tsp turmeric
2 lemons, juiced and zested
½ cup natural yoghurt
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cardamom pod, seeds lightly crushed
2 cloves
1 tsp ground coriander
400g crushed tomatoes
½ cup double cream
salt and pepper, to taste
coriander, to taste
rice, to serve

Method
Combine the diced chicken in a bowl with half the garlic, half the ginger, half the chilli, cumin, salt, ½ tsp of each the garam masala and turmeric, juice and zest of one of the lemons and the yoghurt. Cover and chill in the fridge for four hours to overnight, to let the flavours develop and marinade.

When you’re ready to get cooking, melt half the butter in a large pan over high heat, reducing to medium when foamy. Add the cardamom, clove, coriander and remaining garam masala, turmeric and chilli, cooking for a couple of minutes or until your kitchen is hella fragrant. Stir through the canned tomatoes and lemon juice before adding the marinated chicken. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for about half an hour, or until the chicken is cooked through.

Stir through the double cream and remaining butter, and season to taste. Serve immediately on a bed of rice with a sprinkling of coriander, while mourning the loss of Dusty.

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Yuhuagurt Hamacaki

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with starring in Ru’s latest musical Pharmarusical – choreographed by none other than Queen *tongue pops* Alyssa Edwards – where The Vixen and her team stormed to victory. Meanwhile Monique was forgettable, Kalorie didn’t give enough and Eureka was in her head about her knee, making her lack heart. Thankfully for her she found enough to slay the lip sync and send Kalorie from the competition.

The queens returned to the werk room where Kalorie stuck to Aja’s wishes to keep exit messages kind, before we heard from Eureka who was shook to have been in the bottom two and hopefully lit a fire in her belly. What is with he listing her body parts today? Let’s see how many more I can get, shall we? Kameron, who is the sweetest in addition to being beautiful and talented, congratulated all the queens on a job well done, before The Vixen gladly spoke about her victory in the challenge which she felt was inevitable. This obviously pissed off Aquaria since her best drag look included a borrowed wig. Monet told The Vixen her leadership earned her the win, Monique was disappointed to be in the bottom three – channeling Milk in thinking she deserved to be higher – while The Vixen just felt she needed to do better.

Ru arrived to talk the girls through the next mini-challenge, where they participate in screen tests for his provocative new chocolate bar in fresh off the bus drag. While Miz Cracker, Mayhem, Dusty, Aquaria and The Vixen kinda fell flat, Blair St Clair slayed her audition, Eureka and Kameron brought a few laughs, Monet owned the competition, Yuhua was cute and Monique finally shon. Blair, Monique and Monet won the challenge, making them team captains for the maxi-challenge where they would be required to create ads for RuPaul’s new dating apps – End of Days for doomsday preppers, Fibstr for pathological liars *maybe* looking for love and Madam Buttrface for the queens with banging bods and busted faces.

Blair’s team of Miz Cracker, Eureka and The Vixen got the End of Days app, Monique picked Dusty Ray, Kameron and Mayhem to tackle Fibstr and Monet, Asia, Aquaria and Yahua were tasked with selling Madam Buttrface. Team Fibstr got to work talking through their ideas, well except for Mayhem who was super quiet outside of volunteering to be the narrator. Over at Butterface, Yuhua was on struggle street hating on all of Monet’s ideas without giving any solutions. Meanwhile Blair and End of Days were all about problems, problems and solutions. Eureka focused on eating and fat jokes, much to the chagrin of The Vixen.

Back with the queens of Fibstr, Kameron offered to take over as the narrator since she knew all the lines anyway. While Mayhem was frustrated to lose the role, she stayed completely silent. Meanwhile the Buttrface girls got to work looking fugly as hell, with Asia warting up, Aquaria pilling on noses and Yuhua … putting dots on her face, which feels like a dig at sexy Sideshow Dusty. Asia spoke to Monique about how she is concerned about their performance, which was the perfect time for everyone to notice that Yuhua clearly misunderstood the assignment to look ugly. Monet then decided to chanel the power of the sponge, which isn’t really relevant to the plot … except for the fact all the queens started Vaaaanjie-ing in canon, which gave me life.

Fibstr were up first filming their commercial where Kameron struggled as the narrator – which Mayhem reminded us she could have done better, despite never verbalising that with her team – and Monique directed herself through the shoot like the great producer herself, Alexis Michelle. Side note: new/new-to-me pit crew guy is hot. Mayhem then struggled through her one scene before getting frustrated by Monique’s micromanaging.

Team End of Days tried to avoid letting Michelle know they were nervous before Eureka ignored the rule that drag isn’t a contact sport (amirite, Mimi Imfurst). Blair, Miz and Eureka slayed their performance while The Vixen was just there. Then came Madam Buttrface where Monet owned the narrator role, though was upstaged by Asia who stole the show thanks to Carson’s advice. Yuhua then focused on exercising, which I think she was hoping would have sexual connotations.

The queens returned to the Werk Room to start preparing for the runway where Blair spoke to Eureka about feeling alone in the competition and missing her mum, before Eureka offered to take her under her wing. The Vixen and Aquaria then had some drama over The Vixen borrowing her best-drag wig before a spider caused even more chaos, until Kameron – of course, swoon – caught the spider and released it into the wild. Blair then shared about her religious upbringing and how her parents are super supportive of her career. This made Dusty open up about her own experience in a conservative household, being exorcised for being gay and how traumatic it was. He was told he would never find love, happiness or success as a gay man, leading him to packing up his car and moving out. It was harrowing and is so absurd that we still need to experience these things in the ‘00s … but sadly, some of us do. Aquaria tried to make a joke about joining Monet for brunch before The Vixen continued to come for Aquaria for upsetting her. This led to Aquaria excusing herself from the Werk Room while the other queens tried to get The Vixen to calm down and be the bigger person.

Pausing the drama my love Nico – and dear friend Courtney Love, who I really need to see soon – joined RuCo on the judging table where they were gagged by the feather runway. Blair looked cute if not boring, Miz Cracker delivered a tribute to her deceased friend, Eureka slayed in crow-Ursula realness, The Vixen made a beautiful peacock, Monique looked like a gorgeous phoenix and Mayhem looked good but kinda left me bored. Dusty looked ok, Kameron looked perfect, Monet brought glamour and then Asia owned everyone dressed as Tweety Bird. Yuhua came out flanked by crows while Aquaria was an injured dove. The End of Days commercial was hilarious, Kameron and Mayhem were unwhelming or non-existent in the Fibstr ad while Asia completely owned the Buttrface commercial.

Blair, Eureka and Asia placed in the top while Kameron, Mayhem and Yuhua landed in the bottom. While the judges were conflicted about her outfit, they loved the way she lead her team and slayed the performance. Nico fanned out over Eureka with Michelle excited she finally joined the competition, slaying the performance and runway. While the judges loved her runway look, it couldn’t overcome her lack of role in the commercial. The judges asked if she spoke up about her concerns, which she admitted she didn’t and it was ultimately on her. The judges adored Kameron’s look with Nico shocked he was in the bottom, while Michelle quickly pointed out it was her beige performance in the ad. Asia deservedly received universal praise for her runway and performance in the commercial. Yuhua was called out for being confused on the runway and for performing horribly in the challenge.

Asia obviously took out victory, while Blair and Eureka were given their orders to use their feet – I forgot I was listing Eureka’s body parts, ok – to join the safe girls. Kameron’s killer runway ultimate saved her from the bottom two, leaving Mayhem and Yuhua to battle it out to Celebrity Skin. While Yuhua tried her best to bring rocker-chick to the stage – complete with air guitar – Mayhem owned the performance from the very first note, channeling the years of auditioning into saving herself. Then she added some shady moves at Yuhua and ripping feathers out of her dress when Courtney sang about people wanting a part of her and it was over – Mayhem was saved and Yuhua was given her marching orders.

Given Yuhua is so delightful, she wasn’t too heartbroken when I found her in the Werk Room packing up. As with most of the NYC queens, Yuhua and I have been friends for a couple of years after meeting through Bob. I was his less photogenic assistant when he was prepping for season 8, so spent a lot of time with Yuhua while collecting looks and we became the fastest of friends with our wild sense of humour. As such, we quickly started getting crazy in the Werk Room as evidenced by her Untucked exit where she was hopped up on sugar … in the form of my Yuhuagurt Hamacaki.

Light and fluffy, sweet and sticky and full of warm, exploding pockets of raspberry, this yoghurt cake is so good. And moist. So, so moist. Like, more moist than I am when Kameron and Dusty are on screen at the same time.

Enjoy!

Yuhuagurt Hamacaki
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
¾ cup vegetable oil
2 eggs, whisked
2 lemon, zested and juiced, 1 tablespoon juice reserved for the icing
1 cup Greek yoghurt
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 cup raspberries
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp boiling water

Method
Preheat oven to 160ºC.

Whisk the oil, eggs, zest, juice, yoghurt and caster sugar in a large bowl, and combine the flour and baking powder in another. Fold the dry into the wet and stir until just combined before folding through the raspberries.

Grease a non-stick bundt tin and pour the batter into it, smoothing the top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to stand in the tin for ten minutes before transferring to a cooling rack and allowing to cool completely.

Meanwhile combine the icing sugar, extra lemon juice and boiling water in a bowl to form a thick glaze. Pour over the bundt and allow to drip down the sides before slicing, serving and devouring.

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Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams

Baking, Bread, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 14 new queens descending on a new Werk Room for a new season where Ru quickly tasked them with the creating a look using 99c store wonders aka the drag on a dime challenge. Aka the first ever drag race challenge. Twins Aquaria and Miz Cracker seemed to have issues, the former more so than the latter before Kalorie Karbdashian Williams and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo landed in the bottom two, and poor Alexis’ girl becoming the first person out.

Miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Banjie. BAMjie. We want you to come back home baby …

Miss Vaaaaaaaaanjie.

The surviving queens returned to the Werk Room to discover the notes are not as aggressive as All Stars 3. The queens then reminisced about everyone’s passion for repeating Miss Vanjie before Monet broke things up by protesting her safe placement ala Milk. Thankfully Asia has a bit of her daughter’s spark, telling her she is delusional and that if no one got what she was going for, it clearly wasn’t very good. Things then took a turn with The Vixen stoking the fire between Aquaria and Miz Cracker, with Aquaria back-pedalling and Miz Cracker just not giving a shit since she was in the top and Aquaria wasn’t.

Kalorie and Eureka lead the queens back the next day by threatening to eat people, which I assume is sexually. Before we could find out, Ru arrived with King of the Housewives Andy Cohen himself to lord over a quick-drag ho-down mini-challenge, Hay Girl Hay. Just as an aside, Kameron and Dusty are still hot as shit and I feel that is important we note.I mean, Kameron in quick drag could almost turn me straight. Anyway the queens broke it down, with The Vixen, Kameron – swoon – Asia and Aquaria turning it out. Oh and Blair, that little girl brought matriarch realness.

Andy and Ru crowned Asia and The Vixen as the winners of the mini challenge, which came with the prize of leading teams in Ru’s latest musical PharmaRusical – a parody lip sync extravaganza of the terror of US drug ads. Asia selected Aquaria, Monique Heart, Dusty, Yuhua and Kalorie, up against The Vixen, Kameron, Miz Cracker, Monet, Blair and Mayhem. That left Eureka to select her own team, joining Asia’s much to her chagrin given that she never shuts the hell up.

The groups split up and got to work going through their scripts and selecting roles, with Vixen taking charge of her group and ignoring everyone’s preferences. Which Monet hated. Meanwhile Eureka was already rubbing Asia the wrong way, constantly talking throughout their rehearsal and not listening. Asia, of course, then lead the team to choreograph the routine so they have something when they meet the choreographer. Well, when Eureka was done talking. Meanwhile The Vixen’s team had done outfits and were really happy with that, until they saw how well the other team were doing it. Ru returned to check in on the teams, with Asia’s rightly feeling extremely confident. He then brought up Eureka’s injury, bringing up some more PTSD for the chatty Cathy of the group. On the flipside The Vixen’s team felt close to death.

Team Asia arrived on the mainstage to discover the one and only Alyssa Edwards would be choreographing the musical – ding dong Todrick, amirite – with the queen of the Haus of Edwards thrilled to hear they’ve come prepared. After throwing some shade at Charlie Hides for being lifeless, Alyssa worked those queens OUT and forced them to drink her go-go juice and high-kick their lives away. While most of them nailed it, Ms Karbdashian and Eureka struggled. Backstage Kameron was wondering why she was first to be selected with The Vixen explaining that she needed quiet people who would work. Again, swoon. The Vixen and Miz Cracker then spoke about the drama between her and Aquaria with The Vixen explaining she just wants them to clear the air rather than be shady.

The Vixen’s team were delighted to discover Alyssa Edwards would be doing choreographer, while she was hella disappointed since they had nothing prepared. While they assured her they had prepared characterisation, she was not convinced and felt extremely concerned about their performance. Despite being a Broadway Baby, Blair couldn’t seem to land her legs making Alyssa and the girls even more anxious. To the point Alyssa gave them a pep talk to try and motivate them, making me wish that I could be a part of the Haus of Edwards and hear those on the daily. Back in the Werk Room Eureka started to get in her head and felt like nobody wanted her in the team, breaking down about not bringing it. This obviously annoyed Asia who just wanted to focus on the damn challenge.

The queens arrived the next day, ready to slay their performances. Well, The Vixen’s team were kinda just hoping to survive the performance at best. Dusty spoke about her concern that Michelle won’t like her make-up and will call out her dots, before Kalorie turned things dark sharing about her experiences being bullied in High School. I mean, there was a cup of piss thrown at her and it sounded horrific though thankfully Jujubee inspired her and she pulled through. Yas, Jujubee, the hero we don’t deserve.

Despite nailing their rehearsal team Asia struggled due to Eureka’s inability to hit any of the lyrics and Kalorie and monique, who were just there. That being said, the rest of the queens slayed, Dusty in particular. On the flipside, everyone on The Vixen’s team turned it the hell out. Again, Kameron is beautiful. Despite that, The Vixen and Mayhem owned it.

The queens had to bring their best drag to the main stage where Asia, Dusty, The Vixen, Miz Cracker and Kameron – obvi – slayed, Monique served muppet realness, while Yuhua, Eureka and Kalorie bombed in their bodysuits. Team Vixen rightfully snagged the win, with The Vixen winning the challenge – though Kameron kinda deserved it, no? – and Team Asia up for elimination. Asia and Dusty received universal praise (ish for Asia), Yuhua’s performance was adored while her outfit was read for filth, on the flipside Monique and Aquaria slayed the runway but bombed the rusical and Kalorie and Eureka were read for filth entirely, with the latter completely breaking down from stress. Obviously that lead to Kalorie and Eureka lip syncing, and forced to eat each other rather than the skinny girls. Despite bombing the lip sync extravaganza, Eureka nailed every single lyric and felt the entire song … ultimately destroying Kalorie and sending her out of the competition in tears.

It was hard to see Kalorie so heartbroken when she joined me backstage, so I bit my tongue when I was close to telling her I was expecting to see her. I held her close, told her New Mexico would be proud of her for just making the show and pulled out my showstopping Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams to turn the mood around.

I love bread, I love chocolate and I love peanut butter – name a more iconic trio, TBH – so we you combine them together … then plait and bake, the only thing you can feel is joy.

Enjoy!

Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams
Serves: 8-10.

Ingredients
½ cup milk, warmed to 35-40°C
7g dry yeast
¼ cup raw caster sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
3 eggs
2 cups flour, plus ¼ cup extra
½ tsp salt
110g unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces
¼ cup butter, melted
100g chocolate
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp double cream

Method
Combine the milk and yeast in a jug with a pinch of sugar and leave to foam for five minutes or so. Meanwhile whisk two eggs in a bowl with the raw caster sugar until smooth, before adding the foamy yeast.

Combine the flour and salt and pour in the egg mixture, mixing with the dough hook of a stand mixer until everything is wet. Transfer hook and bowl to the mixer, and knead while adding the cubed butter piece by piece. When all the butter has been added, knead for ten minutes or so or until the dough in smooth and elastic. Transfer to a greased bowl, cover and leave to prove for two hours or until doubled, then transfer to the fridge to chill for an hour.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine half the melted butter with the chocolate, peanut butter, 1 tbsp raw caster sugar, ½ tsp cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a saucepan and melt over a double boiler until combined. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

Transfer the chill dough to a lightly floured surface and roll into a 40x30cm rectangle and spread with the peanut butter and chocolate filling. Roll up along the long edge to form a long roll – so descriptive, no? Cut log in half and pull to stretch slightly before placing them next to each other. Cross one log over the other in the middle to form an x before twisting each end twice to form a long braid. Transfer to a lined bread pan and leave to prove for half an hour.

While the bread is proving, combine the muscovado sugar and flour with the remaining caster sugar, cinnamon and butter and stir to combine. Whisk the egg and cream to combine. When the babka has risen, brush with the egg wash, scatter with streusel and transfer to the oven to back for 45 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for fifteen minutes before turning into on a wire rack and allowing to cool completely.

Then cut into slices and devour.

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Panissa Vanjie Mateo

Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap, Vegetarian

After nearly a decade of buffoonery, riggery and straight up tomfoolery, RuPaul’s Drag Race is back for season 10. While sure, it was only last week we saw Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross induct Trixie Mattel into the Drag Race Hall of Fame, I am always thirsty for some new queens to take a lap.

Eureka was first to enter the new werk room, thrilled to be back after destroying her knee last year. She was quickly joined by Phi Phi’s momma, Asia O’Hara who looked so fierce I’ve already got my winner pick lined up. Asia was followed by Bob’s daughter Miz Cracker, who terrified Asia with the use of a racial slur. Though not for long, as they were soon joined by Yuhua Hamasaki who brought Asian to the competition, as opposed to Asia.

Filling the Broadway Baby role vacated by Alexis Michelle – the producer – is Blair St. Clair who looks about ten outside of drag. Monet X. Change joined his fellow NY queens Yuhua and Miz Cracker and reminded me of Bo …

Sorry, I just fainted at the sight of Kameron Michaels. I’m not sure if I fainted or lost too much liquid, but I’m in love.

Mayhem Miller continued her family’s – Morgan and Detox, FYI – legacy by joining the competition, followed by Kaloria Karbdashian Williams who was done dirty by that promo look ya’ll. Monique Heart channeled Tatianna with some spoken word on entry, though with 6000 times the confidence. Dusty Ray Bottoms joined the fray and despite channeling Sideshow Bob out of drag, I’m feeling thirsty. Mopping it up The Vixen arrived serving Chicago realness followed by Alexis’ daughter – BAM, baby come through – Vanessa Vanjie Mateo joined the fray and I’m already living for her talking heads. Rounding out the cast was Sharon’s girl Aquaria, who already has some drama with Miz Cracker which is either going to crash and burn quickly or drag on throughout the entire season.

With all the girls lined up, the alarm sounded and Ru arrived to announce their first mini-challenge where they would have to slay a runway whilst being drowned in a sea of former queens. Eureka was up first and despite being surrounded by Katya, Bob, Chad, Jaymes, Trixie, Peppermint, Adore, Manilla, Detox, Morgan, she did ok though almost toppled off the stage. Mayhem slayed, Miz did her momma proud, Asia owned the stage, Kalorie twerked it out, Monique impressed Derrick with her ability to hem clothes, Adore was delighted by The Vixen, despite her shotty workmanship. Dusty didn’t impress Tempest, but everyone else seemed to live. Yara Sofia was confused whether Yuhua was a queen or a removalist, Vanessa hoped to serve the House of Mateo and Kameron felt she was either loved or hated, with their being no in between. The queens lived for Monet while Blair lived for the queens, and Aqauria impressed the hell out Adore who saw her in the top. In reality though, she was in Jinkx’s face after falling off the stage.

The queens returned to the werk room to de-drag and get thirsty, with Yuhua unsure how to identify the African American queens out of drag. Kameron took his shirt off, I creamed my shorts again, and all the queens let it be known they were thirsty as hell for him. Before anyone had the chance to make a move, Ru returned to crown Monet the winner of the mini challenge … and announce the first maxi challenge of the season. Harkening back to the very first challenge, the queens were tasked with creating a high fashion look with only thrift store items.

After minutes of madness, pushing and shoving as they collected their materials, the queens got to work designing their outfits. While The Vixen felt confident, Miz Cracker realised she had nothing going on so started bartering with the other queens to collect three hats and a shower curtain. She shared the fact she grew up poor and was taught to make fascinating, beautiful art with things she found on the street. Inspired by the bartering, Monet handed over a basket full of barbies for Vanessa’s look after locking in a Gaga-inspired sponge ensemble. Dusty was going futuristic with sun visors, as was Blair St. Clair. Yuhua was concerned about doing a caution tape dress since it had been done before. Vanessa was doing a floral look with a barbie headpiece, though wasn’t feeling very confident about it.

Elimination day arrived with us learning Kalorie was going with a literal million dollar look, which has already been done with great success multiple times. Monique’s house of cards outfit looked insane, while Yuhua thought The Vixen’s look looked half-done. Kalorie then brought up Eureka’s accident, bringing back some bad memories for her who didn’t think she would be fit enough to return. It also brought out her vulnerable side, as she felt more pressure being back because she needed to bring it and make her return worth it. Mayhem too was feeling the pressure to live up to the family name after applying to so many seasons. We then learnt the origins of Dusty’s make-up dots which felt out of place until it segwayed into the drama between Cracker and Aquaria who were both doing similar make-up, with all the queens gagged by the impending drama between the look-a-like queens.

On the mainstage, Aqauria’s Little Ho Peep was good but kinda underwhelming, Asia brought Party City realness – poor Phi Phi – Kalorie tried to channel Kris Jenner, though didn’t serve. In the first of the windshield outfits, Blair looked beautiful, followed by Dusty Ray Bottoms who also slayed despite the questionable hat. Kameron, obvi, was gorgeous, Monet’s sponge look was near perfection, The Vixen served in her pool noodle look, Mayhem owned the runway, Eureka served sugar tits realness, Monique’s card look was insane and amazing, Vanessa looked pretty terrible but BAM that personality can cure flaws. Yuhua threw caution to the wind and thrilled Michelle with her ahnk. On the flipside, Miz Cracker channeled a widow and slayed with her sadness.

Kameron, Aquaria, Asia, Eureka, Monet, Monique – who was robbed – and The Vixen were deemed safe before Ru dropped a bomb on the queens. There was one more person to join the competition – Farrah Moan. JK Kimora, it was just this week’s guest judge Christina Aguilera … much to the delight of the queens who were gagged by her arrival and the fact she creeped on their runways from side of stage.

The judges read Kalorie for filth, despite Christina loving her personality. They adored Blair, loved Dusty Ray’s Bottom though Michelle hated the hat and – obviously – the dots on the face, which explains why we learnt their origins earlier. Mayhem received universal praise for literally everything bringing her to tears after all the stress of delivering, Vanessa’s look was despised though her personality was off the charts and brought her up in everyone’s eyes. They liked Yuhua’s look, though Michelle just wanted to talk ahnk. Miz Cracker’s look in combination with her killer mainstage display of wit, had the judges sopping up everything about her.

Miz Cracker and Blair joined the safe girls before Mayhem Miller was crowned the winner of the first challenge, once again bringing her to tears. Yuhua was also deemed safe, leaving Dusty, Kalorie and Vanessa in the bottom three. Despite Michelle hating the dots, Dusty was deemed safe leaving Kalorie and Vanessa to battle it out to XTina’s Ain’t No Other Man. From the very first note Kalorie owned the lip sync and despite getting stronger as the song went on, Vanessa could never really compete with the twerking Kardashian. As such, Kalorie saved herself and poor Vanessa Vanjie Mateo became the first queen to sashay away from the competition. Breaking my damn heart in the process, seeing how sad she was as she broke down about letting Alexis down.

As a dear friend of the house of Mateo, I pulled her straight into my arms backstage and assured her that her momma would be proud of her performance and would also support her. While it took me a while to perk her up, we got there as soon as I pulled out a plate of Panissa Vanjie Mateo.

Like an earthy, healthier version of polenta chips, these babies are insanely delicious, despite their simplicity. Crisp on the outside, delicate on the inside, BAM, we’ve got another winner for the House of Mateo.

Enjoy!

Panissa Vanjie Mateo
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1L water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
2 ½ cups chickpea flour
olive oil spray, to cook

Method
Bring the water, olive oil and salt to the boil in a saucepan over high heat. When it is boiling, remove from the heat and whisk in the chickpea flour. Return to the heat and stir with a wooden spoon for five minutes, or until thick and holding its shape.

Transfer to a lined baking-dish and press to flatten. Transfer to the fridge to set for about an hour or so.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Once set, remove from the pan and cut into 1-2cm thick chips and transfer to a lined baking sheet. Place in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Serve immediately with a good whack of salt and pepper, and devour.

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10s across my board

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap

While I normally come to you complaining about how parched I am between seasons, it doesn’t really fly for RuPaul’s Drag Race 10 since Trixie Mattel hasn’t even reached the one week anniversary of her crowning.

Side note: can you actually believe it has been (less than) a week since Shangela was down dirty by Alexis Michelle, the producer?

Anyway – I love Trixie, I love Shangie, hell I even still love Milk after the arrogance … but well, there needs to be less twists, because sometimes they blow up in your face. Though in this instance – us getting season 10 a week after All Stars 3 finished – it worked out for the best, so let’s be grateful.

So yeah … this kinda went off the rails no? Buckle in – well don’t worry about that Tyra, go wild babe – sit back and prepare to be gagged on the eleganza of season 10.

Well, unless Kameron is free …

Image source: VH1.

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Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies

Baking, Main, Party Food, Pie, RuPaul's Drag Race, Snack, Street Food

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t we just farewell Aja on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars? Well yes, the answer is yes, but the gay gods have decided to shine upon us all and we’re rolling straight from All Stars into regular Drag Race season 10.

While the cynic inside me – don’t worry, he is lovely and bought me a cask of wine first – has got me thinking, what sort of tomfoolery is about to go down for them to bury the latest inductee into the hall of fame … I’m going to be hopeful. Hopeful that this is the first step into the next phase of the gay agenda. Which is real, and is dominant.

Anywho, I ummed and ahhed whether I should be counting down to season 20, when the last four episodes of All Stars are kind of serving that purpose. Ultimately, obviously, I decided the newest batch of queens deserve the full Fame Hungry treatment, so gave Carson a call to see if he could drop by to catch-up and gossip.

Obviously I came into contact in the mid-noughties, while working together on the OG Queer Eye. Before you even say it, no I was not cooking the food for Ted like people are for Antoni, ok? Anyway … I was brought in by Bravo to keep costs down, so accompanied Carson on the fashion portion to get us discounts.

While it ended in some jail time for me after I decided five finger was my fave discount, Carson was loyal and has stuck by me ever since. Fun fact: to repay his loyalty, I convinced Ru and Michelle to give him the job on Drag Race.

Anyway, we ignored the two elephants in the room – BeBe should have mentioned Aja helped her make her dress and Ross dominating Celebrity Big BROTHERRRRRRR – and got to work chatting about season 10 and how it will be the best ever. There is so much intel we wanted to share, I quickly had to get to work whipping up some Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies to fill our gobs.

I make no secret of my love of pies and these babies are probably one of my favourites. I mean, meat and cheese shoved inside some pillowy dough? Be still my throbbing … heart.

Enjoy!

Steak, Bacarson & Cheessley Pies
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
2 celery sticks, thinly sliced
1 carrot, peeled and grated
200g bacon, diced, plus extra, fried, to top
3 garlic cloves, minced
600g beef mince
400g diced tomatoes
3 tbsp tomato paste
3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 cup vintage cheddar, grated
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
2 sheets puff pastry
1 egg, lightly whisked
mashed potato, gravy and/or chips, to taste

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C.

Heat a lug of oil in a large pan over medium heat. Sweat the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the celery, carrot, bacon and garlic, and cooking for a further five minutes. for 5 mins or until softened. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a spoon while cooking until the mince is browned. Add the tomatoes, paste, Worcestershire and muscovado sugar, and bring to the boil. When bubbling, reduce to low and simmer for twenty minutes or so, or until the sauce has reduced. Set aside and allow to cool.

To assemble, start by stirring most of the cheese through the mixture. Cut each sheet of shortcrust pastry in quarters and press into 8 individual pie dishes. Divide the mixture amongst the dishes and smooth the tops. Cut the puff pastry into quarters and press into the top of the pies, crimping the edges to seal. Pierce a hole in the top, brush with the whisked egg and transfer to a baking sheet.

Transfer to the oven and bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp. Remove and sprinkle with some of the extra bacon and cheese, and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool for five minutes. Then devour – with or without mashed potato and gravy or ships – being careful not to burn the inside of your mouth on the molten hot filling.

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