Lasanja Estranja

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, RuPaul's Drag Race 6, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Kameron finally awakened the beast in Cher: The Unauthorised Rusical and slayed the queens with her spot-on Cher. Meanwhile The Vixen had a breakthrough and spoke to Asia about her feelings and why she behaves the way she does – spoiler alert: fear and pain, like everyone. Sadly for her, her performance wasn’t a breakthrough, nor was Asia’s awful Moonstruck-era Cher as the new friends landing in the bottom with the third time not proving a charm for The Vixen, and she was sent from the competition.

The remaining queens returned to the Werk Room to discover that The Vixen channelled the All Stars 3 girls, leaving a cryptic, nasty message for Eureka. Thankfully Eureka knows how to play the game and said that while they didn’t get along, she was impressed by her talent. Eureka for Miss Congeniality?! JK Kimora. Anyway, Asia too was putting on a brave face saying that she desperately needed to lip sync to wake her up (Pearl) and recharge her drag batteries. The queens then congratulated Kameron, who still seemed to be shocked by her win and just seemed so awkward and endearing and I love her even more. Someone who isn’t lacking confidence however is Aquaria who argued that her bottom three placement was not a bottom three placement … despite being a fucking bottom three placement. She then acknowledged her confidence and shared that she wanted them all gone, so she could win which led to an argument with Asia about sportsmanship which you just know is going to come back and bite her. Bottoms up, I guess. For Kameron, swoon.

Back in the Werk Room the next day the queens joked about how empty the Werk Room is and how boring slash young Aquaria. Proving to be the latest gag of the season, Stephen Colbert interrupted their Kiki to issue this week’s challenge tease before Ru joined them to announce this week’s glorious mini challenge. Which required a super sized pit crew in long shorts. With the queens tasked with finding the Pit Crew-ers with matching underwear. And just like that, I passed out from dehydration. Sorry – I’m typing one handed, so you won’t get a full run down though Ru – praise the gay gods – made them all twerk before Aquaria won.

With victory under Aquaria’s belt, she was given the option to assign the roles in this week’s main challenge, where the Queens would act in the premium cable drama about a theme park full of drag queen robots – yas bish, it’s Breastworld! Shocking everyone, Aquaria allowed them to pick their own roles as a way to form a friendship and behave in a sportsmanlike manner. Miz Cracker snagged herself the main, while Asia picked one of the smallest making her nervous. Though not as nervous as Aquaria who took the scrap role that nobody wanted, quickly discovering why nobody wanted it.

Ru returned for his walkaround with Aquaria sharing that she gave everyone the chance to select their role to make friends, with Ru questioning why that makes sense before encouraging her to make the few-lined role her bitch. Monet was mixing up her wigs and was hoping to finally take a win, Eureka was confident in playing herself – essentially – while Kameron appeared nervous before Ru gave her a pep talk to bring more personality. Asia felt she was playing the role of her aunts before Ru brought up her shocking performance of Beyonce and gave her one hell of a pep talk, putting the one for Kameron to shame. Rounding things out, Ru rubbed Cracker’s face in her inability to snatch a win and encouraged her to be less rehearsed.

Ross and Michelle joined the queens to direct the girl’s Breastworld shoot which, TBH, was kind of an epic mess with Cracker and Eureka playing it flat and Kameron was just bad. Thankfully Monet and Aquaria were there, otherwise there would have been zero joy. Though Michelle and Ross seemed to enjoy Asia, so that is a thing. But we really only saw a line … so maybe it will be good?

The top six returned for elimination day, with Kameron 100% sure that he will be lip syncing. As was Eureka, who selected her runway outfit sorted partly based on its comfort for a lip sync. The queens then discussed aging before Aquaria spoke about her mentor, Amanda Lepore and respecting the elders of their community. Which is literally all of the other queens. There was kiki-ing about dating as a drag queen, sisterhood and it was just really nice.

Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by my two favourite kweens – YAS YAS YAS – Illana and Abbi. Yas kween, le Broads de Broad City. I am in heaven, damnit. Miz Cracker kicked off the Silver Foxy runway, channelling Devil Wear’s Prada Meryl. Asia brought comedy to her future old drag queen, Monet was hilarious as a drunk mess with her titties dragging on the floor, Aquaria tried to look like a fierce old queen before Eureka and Kameron pulled out a killer one-two punch – well Kameron did – as Sylvia and Yetta Fine. I mean, he bombed the challenge but damn did Kameron slay the runway. Meanwhile Breastworld – expertly narrated by Stephen Colbert – played out exactly as you’d expect with Kameron, Cracker and Eureka bombing while Monet and Aquaria owned the performance before Asia turned her third act role into a shining moment.

The judges loved Cracker’s look though hated the fact she got caught in her head in the challenge. They loved Kameron’s runway though as expected, felt she was the worst in Breastworld. The judges brought everything Monet was selling, felt Aquaria was participating in a different runway though loved her performance in Breastworld and though Eureka fell flat in both instances. Rounding things out, they loved Asia’s performance in Breastworld though weren’t sure about her look.

Ultimately both Monet and Aquaria were robbed of a win by Asia, while Kameron and Eureka landed in the bottom two as Cracker avoided the lipsync by the skin of her teeth. Both queens slayed the performance, as Kameron came out of her shell and Eureka mopped the floor with her kooch despite the busted knee. By the time it came to their synchronised lip syncs and Kameron’s vogueing while splitting, the judges were whooping and cheering before Ru declared both queens safe due to their killer performances. Not before pranking Eureka though.

While I was gagged to see a double shantay, I started to feel very attacked by the scheduling … until I remembered I was sitting next to my dear friend Laganja Estranja and I could post about her instead. Which is particularly convenient since she was quoted by Aquaria, okkkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrr?

Anyway as you know, I have a close relationship with the Haus of Edwards – when will Ganja join Alyssa (and again) and Shangie as a robbed goddess of All Stars? – and as such, have known Laganja since she was knee high to a drag-pig’s eye. And worked as part of the team to push her onto Drag Race.

Her run on Drag Race was hella exciting, with the highest of highs – not in the way she’d like – and the lowest of lows (see: untucked) but make no mistake, Ganja is an icon and she needs to return. Whether she likes it or not. Which I reiterated over and over while whipping up a big fat Lasanja Extranja.

Part sandwich, part cake and part whatever else the screenshot of a tweet I saw on Instagram said, lasagne is quite possibly the greatest meal. And this classic version, is so damn good. Also – shout out to Fame Hungry superfan – I said what I said, and don’t make me change it – Glenn X / DeLaCreme who suggested this needed to happen.

And as it was tweeted, so it be done. So enjoy … particularly you Glenn.

(How could you not when you’re devouring meat and creamy sauce, though)?

Lasanja Estranja
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 quantity Dolognese Parton
80g butter
¼ cup flour
¼ tsp nutmeg
salt and pepper, to taste
1L milk
¾ cup grated parmesan cheese
250g lasagne sheets
¾ cup grated mozzarella

Method
Make the Dolognese and set aside while you get saucy, okkkkkkkrrrrrrr?

Preheat oven to 160°C.

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until foamy before whisking in the flour, nutmeg and a good whack of salt and pepper. Cook stirring for a minute or so, or until the flouriness has left the mixture. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk until no lumps remain. Return to the heat and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Stir in the parmesan and remove from heat.

To assemble, spread a quarter of the dolognese over the base of a baking dish. Layer with lasagne sheets and spoon over a quarter of the bechamel sauce. Top with another quarter of dolognese and repeat the process, finishing with the last quarter of bechamel. Make it feel very attacked by smothering with mozzarella and transfer to the oven to bake for 45 minutes or until the pasta is tender. Unlike the way Untucked treated her.

Allow to rest for ten minutes or so before devouring, mawma.

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The Sexon the Beach

Drink, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were put through their paces on Snatch Game with Eureka, Aquaria and Monet slaying and Asia and The Vixen doing the worst mother daughter duo as Bey and Blue. Thankfully for Asia her Shape of Water inspired mermaid look saved her and sent a subpar Monique into the bottom two to be slaughter by The Vixen and sent from the competition.

The girls returned to the Werk Room to discover that Monique firmly blamed herself for not knowing the lyrics, which is good because at least she doesn’t make excuses. Asia was upset to lose her friend, while The Vixen was upset that literally everyone else wanted her to go airing her grievances like it was Festivus. As such, it didn’t take long for her fight with Eureka to start up again with Eureka confused about what happened and The Vixen dancing around just being upset. Thankfully it kind of fizzled out, allowing Monet to congratulate Aquaria on her win and then shade her by saying how shocking it was, and she thought it would have gone to her or Eureka.

Back in the Werk Room the next day, Kameron was proud to have made it as far as he did and was proud to have found his place in the competition. He then sat down to arm wrestle Asia, only to be interrupted by my dear friend Chad Michaels implying that this week’s challenge would involve Cher, bitch. Before we could get any details, Ru joined the queens for this week’s mini challenge where they were required to snap out of it and bait Ru until they have to take a big ol’ bitch slap. While all the queens – minus Eureka, TBH – were hilarious, they couldn’t compete with Asia. Though since Ru actually connected with her, it kind of gave her an advantage.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that this week’s maxi challenge would see them doing a live unauthorised musical based on Cher’s life, with each queen allocated a different era of her career. Kameron got ‘60s, Monet and The Vixen followed with the ‘70s, Aquaria will do disco, Asia snagged moviestar Eureka will be rockstar and Miz Cracker would serve comeback Cher.

Kameron was feeling anxious based on the fact she is a lip syncer not a singer, though based on the queens singing to themselves, she shouldn’t be. Ru arrived to chat to the girls, with Asia admitting that she also could not sing and felt this would be a lot of work since it isn’t her most iconic era – her victorious Oscar look begs to differ – and her only experience acting was bombing Snatch Game. On the flipside while Kameron wasn’t confident in her voice but seemed to have her head in the game and was ready to finally snag a win. Please do, my love. Monet was feeling confident based on the fact she is a trained Opera singer … though was concerned by the fact she is a baritone. She was planning to channel Carol Burnett’s version of Cher though, so I’m feeling confident. Eureka was concerned about singing live, Mix Cracker concerned Ru when suggesting making age jokes and The Vixen was semi-confident based on lip syncing to Cher previously, which TBH, hasn’t everybody? She then told Ru that everyone hates her and I am over listening to it. Aquaria then gave everyone a laugh, confident in her five notes and giving Ru a teaser. As soon as Ru left, Cracker asked her if she felt nervous after seeing Ru … which she was not. Though she probs should be.

The queens arrived to rehearse on the mainstage and were met by my frenemy Todrick Hall. Kameron struggled with singing live and couldn’t get out of his head, The Vixen nailed her choreography but also struggled with singing while Cracker was overwhelmed by her requirement to dance with a microphone timed to the beat. Thankfully for all of them Asia was worse, forgetting her lyrics and not channeling Cher at all. Well, until Eureka who spent the time negotiating to only focus on choreography and not sing until she gets it. She then shared a story where her dad asked her to sing for his friends as a kid, got nervous, stopped and it lead to an altercation and while I’m confused, seemed extremely sad.

Elimination day rolled around with Aquaria rolling her make-up station closer to the other queens to try and solidify their friendships. Seeing that Eureka was still feeling down, Monet pulled her aside to try and get her head in the game. The queens then threw some shade and kikkied before Kameron asked then all to fall and trip and give her a win. Miz then shared a heartbreaking story from her childhood when they were desperately poor and lived off shiners, unlabelled cans, and would have to guess if dinner would be food or condiment. Asia pulled The Vixen aside to see if they could work through her issues, with her expertly identifying where she is coming from and helping her out. And now I want to watch a spin-off where they hang out and Asia coaches her to victory in an All Stars. It’s almost like she has experience dealing with someone that’s extremely talented but gets into their head and takes it out on others? Off topic, her daughter is Phi Phi. Just remember.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Andrew Rannells and Billy Eichner for the first and last performance of Cher: The Unauthorised Rusical. Kameron kicked things off extremely strongly, followed by Monet who slayed the performance further exacerbated by The Vixen struggling to match her. Aquaria was ok as the disco queen, though looked a lot better when Asia performed. Eureka had chutzpah but struggled with the notes while Cracker brought down the house before the queens united for the finale, further highlighting the fact Kameron had Cher down.

While it honestly isn’t just my thirst speaking, Kameron also looked stunning on the runway while Monet was body positive, though he looked just seemed to be missing something. The Vixen looked beautiful in her jagged cardboard number, Aquaria showed up this year’s Met Gala attendees and Asia channeled Bianca Del Rio in her clown look. Eureka looked like a disco ball and I was confused by Cracker, but I kind of loved it. The judges loved Kameron’s look and performance, feeling like she was the most ‘Cher’ of the queens. Michelle and Carson felt let down by the nipple covers and tape in Monet’s look, but loved her performance. Everyone loved The Vixen’s runway, though thought her performance was ok but was nothing like Cher. They loved Aquaria’s look but felt her performance was mixed. Asia’s look was ok, though hated her performance. Michelle hated Eureka’s make-up – note, she hates stripes as well as dots … RIP Dusty – and the judges felt like while she started off slowly, her performance warmed up well. The judges liked everything Cracker did but I don’t feel they loved it.

Poor Monet just missed out on victory with my dear love Kameron finally taking out her first win of the season. Eureka and Cracker were declared safe, before Aquaria narrowly avoided the bottom two leaving Asia and The Vixen to lip sync. To Deee-Lite and NOT CHER, BITCH. While both queens slayed said non-Cher lip sync, Asia was saved (or appeared to be) by her superior track record and The Vixen was tearfully sent from the competition.

Given the fact that both The Vixen and I are passionate about what we believe in and like to stand up for said beliefs, we’re the best of friends despite often feuding for weeks after screaming at each other. While you may love her or hate her, we’ve all been gagging for some drama and my girl has brought it week after week and made things exciting, whilst also providing some killer, smart drag. As such, I held her close while she sobbed about the lost opportunity and toasted her performance with a The Sexon the Beach.

Is the name clunky? Sure. But fuck my drag if it isn’t damned near perfection. A little bit sweet, a little tart and packing a killer punch, it is everything The Vixen is and more.

Enjoy!

The Sexon the Beach
Serves: 1

Ingredients
2 shots vodka
½ shot peach liqueur
2 shots orange juice
2 shots cranberry juice
orange slices and maraschino cherries, to garnish

Method
Fill a highball with ice.

Top with the ingredients.

Garnish with a slice of orange and a maraschino cherry.

Down.

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Monleek and Bacon Heartin

RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Side, Snack, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with hosting their own drag con panels where Eureka, Kameron and Monet shone while Cracker was dragged to hell by Blair, The Vixen and the horrific decision to forgo a moderator. Once again Eureka took out the victory – as her team’s moderator, no less – while Blair and The Vixen fell into the bottom, with Ru, Michelle, Ross and co. declaring Blair sashay away straight out of the competition.

The queens returned to the Werk Room with The Vixen feeling the pain of being in the bottom and Eureka lamenting the loss of sweet Blair. With The Vixen languishing in the competition, she started to worry that maybe the judges just aren’t getting her or her drag and wondered how to change the perception. Monet being the congenial queen she is quickly turned the attention to Eureka and lead the girls in congratulating her on her second win. In a damn row. Asia then turned her attention to The Vixen and asked if she was angry being in the bottom for a second time with Eureka interrupting her talking about the people that look up to her to suggest that she remember those people and use her intelligence and passion for good, rather than awakening the kraken. Obviously The Vixen didn’t like that, but Monique jumped in to distract us and complain about landing in the middle. Again. The queens reminded her that she is sewing outfits straight up to panel and that beating other – cough, more prepared girls – means she really must be doing something right.

The next day Ru joined the queens to teach the children how to read – yes ma’am, the library is OPEN. The sweetest queen around, Kameron, kicked things off with a couple of killer digs, as did Aquaria, Asia focused on cleanliness personality before Eureka channeled me and begged Kameron to fuck him. Miz was her usual hilarious self, The Vixen was surprisingly good, Monique channelled Ru and Monet was glorious. Once again Eureka took out victory, much to the chagrin of The Vixen before Ru dropped the bomb that this week’s maxi challenge is SNATCH GAME.

Monet was hoping to unwittingly redeem ~~Mya~~Maya Angelou on the Snatch Game stage – sorry ChiChi – with Kameron relying on her gorgeous body and going with Chyna and The Vixen deciding to play Blue Ivy. Before we could see if that is a good idea, Bianca Del Rio arrived to tear the girls to shreds on behalf of Ru.

They dropped by Eureka who was tossing up between Devine and Honey Boo Boo, until she gave them her Devine and it completely bombed. Monique was also debating between Maxine Waters and Cookie Lyon, with Bianca leading her to Maxine Waters. Which she committed to, despite bombing backstage. Asia was going with Whitney Houston until Ru told her she can’t do any powdered sugar jokes, meaning she had to think fast to find a replacement … landing with Beyonce, which she also couldn’t land in the Werk Room. Is this about to be a fucking disaster? Miz Cracker was going for Dorothy Parker, concerning Ru that it isn’t going to be laugh out loud funny. Aquaria was playing to her strengths and locked in Melania Trump because neither of them can speak well or think on their feet but look good. With Bianca and Ru out of the room, Asia locked in Beyonce since it is something she can pull together in a pinch and the fact she can play of The Vixen. And going off their ideas, I feel Monet is going to be right and she is going to murder Beyonce again in a Snatch Game and it is going to be a mess.

My dear friend Audra McDonald and Kate Upton joined the queens as contestants in this year’s Snatch Game. All the queens got off to a good start, except for Asia and The Vixen who went straight to the banter and straight to bombing. Asia spent the entire time interrupting the other queens, The Vixen did a terrible job channelling a child and Monique seemed to miss the point. On the flipside, Monet, Aquaria and Eureka slayed the panel before Alex Trebek dropped by for a video question and Monique broke character and completely went off the rails.

Elimination day rolled around with Monique disappointed Aquaria didn’t play into any of her attempts at banter before Aquaria owned her and told her it wasn’t her job to make Monique’s performance ok. Burn. The Vixen checked in with her mother who channeled Whoopi in Ghost and let her know that they were both in danger, girl. Feeling uneasy The Vixen told Eureka that she stomped on everyone on the panel, despite the fact Asia was stampeding through the game and everyone’s performances. The queens then spoke about making their performances political which made The Vixen far more likeable than she is coming across.

On the Bette Midler inspired mermaid fantasy runway, Monique worked her wheelchair though had an ill fitting tail. Miz Cracker was perfection, Aquaria made oil slicks sexy, Asia was inspired by this year’s Best Picture winner Grinding Nemo, The Vixen served boy-body, lopsided titty realness, Monique was a warrior mermaid, Eureka spit blood as a Disney villainess and Kameron was beautiful, vain and hilarious. Miz Cracker and Kameron were both giving their rolling orders – while pulling out this week’s Vanjie reference – after being called safe leaving the other girls to receive critiques.

The judges loved everything Aquaria did this week while they felt Monique’s Maxine Waters fell flat and her runway was two looks that seemed stitched together. Asia’s fish-mask proved controversial amongst the judging panel, though they could all agree her Beyonce was terrible. The judges hated The Vixen’s Blue Ivy and her runway look from the neck down, with her trying to blame Eureka for bombing snatch game. The judges adored everything about Monet this week, and thought Eureka was hilarious in Snatch Game. Feeling their hasn’t been enough drama, Ru asked the queens who should go home tonight with Eureka ID-ing Asia for being her biggest threat. Monet thought The Vixen should go before The Vixen continued to try and drag down Eureka. Sadly for her, Asia, Monique and Aquaria all agreed with Monet that it is definitely The Vixen’s time to go.

Aquaria took out a much deserved victory, with Eureka and Monet sent to safety. As expected The Vixen found herself in the bottom two, while Asia just escaped the bottom and Monique was forced to lip sync for her life. Though tragically she didn’t appear to know any of the lyrics, writhing around the stage to distract from the fact her mouth was not moving. By the time she butchered cartwheels and looked to have a fit, Ru had no choice but to eliminate her keep The Vixen around another week.

By the time Monique arrived backstage I was at peak Tyra, screaming my disappointment and trying to work through the pain of losing her chuckles for the sole reason of not knowing the damn lyrics. Being the angel that she is, however, she held me close and let me flail and sob until I had nothing more to give … and was able to focus on getting her head in the game for a future All Stars. Because America, damnit, I deserve that. Even more than Mon deserves something as glorious as my Monleek and Bacon Heartin.

Rich, delicately cooked potato, delightfully sweet leeks and salty, glorious bacon? Sign me up. And I mean up.

Enjoy!

Monleek and Bacon Heartin
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
600ml chicken stock
1kg potatoes, thinly sliced
2 leeks, thinly sliced
a couple of sprigs of thyme leaves
salt and pepper, to taste
2 tbsp double cream
6 rashers streaky bacon, diced

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Bring the stock to the boil in a pan over high heat. Once boiling, add the potatoes and leeks and bring back to the boil before reducing heat and simmering for ten minutes. Drain the potatoes and leek, reserving 1 cup of stock.

Layer the potatoes and leek in a baking dish, sprinkling with thyme throughout before pouring over the stock and cream. Given a good whack of salt and pepper before covering with foil and baking for 30 minutes.

While the gratin is in the oven, cook the bacon over medium heat until golden and crisp.

After half an hour in the oven, remove the gratin from the oven, remove the foil and scatter over the bacon. Return to the oven and cook for a further ten minutes or until golden and crisp.

Serve immediately and devour.

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Blair St. Clafoutis

Baking, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were paired up to appear on the hit new talk show Bossy Rossy – hosted by the king, Ross Mathews obvi – where The Vixen’s attempted shadiness backfired and Eureka and Aquaria stole the show. She on the other hand bombed badly, though not compared to Mayhem and Monet who were overshadowed by their partners and landed in the bottom two. Again. With poor Mayhem finding herself Miss Vanjie-ing out of the competition (I the same way her bestie Morgan McMichaels did in season 2).

The queens returned to the workroom to process the latest elimination slash killer lip sync of Monet where poor Kameron was feeling alone as the only quiet girl left in the competition. Monet then pointed out that Mayhem wasn’t the only thing she murdered on the mainstage, with her look also being destroyed. Thankfully Monique stepped in to remind her on behalf of Michelle and the audience that maybe now she was buy something that fits. Though the queen confusing giraffe and cow print probs shouldn’t be throwing the first stone. In any event, Eureka was shocked Monet wasn’t bringing it to the competition and Cracker was sick of being the Susan Lucci of season 10.

We returned to the Werk Room the next day where Monique’s laugh was slowly becoming as iconic as Miss Vanjie … before Ru interrupted to announce this week’s mini challenge, Sitting on a Secret – featuring Aja, Milk, Morgan, Thorgy and Chi Chi’s hit song – where the queens were required to identify items by sitting on them. While the eggplant and traffic cone were definitely my faves, the site of Kameron’s legs rubbing against marshmallows flooded my damn basement. In any event, Asia proved to be the most successful bottom and snatched victory by the skin of her taint. Sadly for her, that didn’t give her the chance to be shady with selecting the groups for this week’s maxi challenge where the girls would be required to throuple up and conduct Drag Con panels for either body, face and wigs. The queens then got to work selecting their own teams with Monet and Kameron buddying up by default for being the bottom or quietest, joined by Eureka who had a good feeling about them and the body concept. A cocky Asia was joined by Aquaria and Monique for face, and Cracker, The Vixen and Blair serving wigs.

Team body-ody-ody quickly put Eureka’s prior Drag Con experience – and big mouth – to good use, assigning her the role of moderator and coming up with a concise plan and creating the word proportionising – creating the perfect silhouette. While Monique and Cracker weren’t sold on their rival’s tagline, it was catchy and they really should be shaking. Aquaria and Asia sold Ru on their make-up skillz, he was quick to point out that they needed to be able to make it funny and joyous for their audience if they want to be successful. Meanwhile team wigs had an impressive resume with wigs, however lacked a plan and didn’t seem to think having Cracker out front as a host was a good idea. Back with the body queens, my future lover Kameron spoke being one of the few bodybuilder queens and felt it gave her an edge as it allows her to show people how to feminise even the hottest body. With Ru out of the room, Monique started to panic about Aquaria since she isn’t the best at public speaking and thinking on her feet. Asia sounded like a HR manager when joining in to question her communication skills.

Elimination day rolled around with Eureka rallying her fellow body troops, getting Monet out of her head for being a serial bottom – we’re all bottoms, relax. Meanwhile Blair made a play for my heart, pulling out a study book she put together for her Drag Race stint which she said has given her confidence for the challenge. Monique then shared that she didn’t have as much money as the other queens, so in addition to having to prepare for the panel was Macgyvering herself an outfit for the runway. Hearing the yearnings of my crotch we returned to Kameron where Asia spotted a before and after shot of his body – I’d take either TBH – and shared how he had quit and threw out half his drag when he was with a previous boyfriend, and then struggled with the other queens when he returned to performing given his manly physique. Thankfully he didn’t pay attention to the haters and said everyone should be able to throw on a dress and wig no matter what their shape and perform for people, and now I’m both inspired and aroused. Monet then shared about her relationship with her parents with Cracker. While everyone else in her family knows she is gay and does drag, her parents live in the West Indies and aren’t very open to drag or homosexuality. And she is scared of losing them. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

The panels kicked off on the mainstage with Eureka leading the body team to a killer performance, working seamlessly together while being informative and entertaining. By the time it came to Kameron dressing Bryce, I wanted everything they were selling. While Monique got off to a strong start for team face – Danny Glover illusion is the best way to describe Asia’s look – Asia and Aquaria’s duelling tutorials got extremely confusing. Thankfully for them the directionless wig team never really seemed to find their footing, instead focusing on reading each other for filth.

On the runway Kameron was absolutely stunning and gave the best head. Monet and Eureka joined her in stealing the show with killer looks that belonged side of pool watching a fight on Dynasty. Aquaria pulled a hat out of her rabbit and looked amazing, Monique served spotted realness, Asia made a stunning dandelion, Cracker had beautiful hat hair, Blair served ‘90s privacy curtain realness while The Vixen layered hat upon hat upon hat.

As expected team body won the challenge, while team wig bottomed out. The judges adored Kameron’s look and loved that she brought more of her personality to the challenge. Monet finally found her feet with a killer look and slaying the panel. Eureka stole the show as the moderator and with her David Jones one piece. While the judges loved Cracker’s look, they felt the panel offered no lesson and none of her jokes landed. The judges completely lost Blair in the panel and felt her look was beige … leading to her sharing that she lost her virginity via rape and brokedown as she just wants to make everything positive as a result. The queens and judges rallied around and AGAIN, I’m not crying, you’re crying. Back to the critiques, The Vixen’s outfit was read for being sloppy and her panel performance was again called out for not offering enough.

Once again Eureka took out victory, while Cracker narrowly escaped the bottom leaving Blair St Clair and The Vixen to lip sync to my girl Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out. While Blair hit every lyric and twirled like your mum after a couple of glasses of sav blanc, The Vixen owned the lip sync with her acrobatics and air trombone. As such, The Vixen saved herself leaving Ru to declare my dear Blair St Clair must sashay away.

While she was heartbroken to find herself out of the competition, she was thrilled to have just had the opportunity … and to be the first queen from Indiana to compete. While I would argue that The Vixen’s outfit was the most inferior on the runway, she murdered the lip sync. Though I didn’t share that with dear, sweet Blair, insteading focusing on her strong run and a big piece of sweet Blair St Clafoutis.

I love me some clafoutis, despite the fact Julia Child loves to remind me it is peasant food. I mean, baked, custardy pudding full of nuts and fruit – perfection. I mean, it sounds like a euphamism for the things I’d like to do to Kameron Michaels.

So enjoy! The clafoutis and the thought of me and Kam.

Blair St. Clafoutis
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cups milk
⅔ cup raw caster sugar
3 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla
pinch of salt
½ cup flour
2 cups blueberries
½ cup slivered almonds
icing sugar, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180C.

Combine the milk, ⅓ cup of the sugar, eggs, vanilla, salt and flour in a large bowl. Whisk aggressively, working through the pain of your boot, until completely smooth.

Pour a thin layer of batter in the bottom of the baking dish and cook for about five minutes, or until it has set to the pan but isn’t cooked through. Sprinkle the blueberries, almonds and remaining sugar over the base and top with the remaining the batter. Return to the oven and bake for 45 minutes, or until puffed, cooked through and totally glorious.

Allow to cool for five minutes before serving with a dusting of icing sugar and devouring.

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Mayhem Milanese Risotto

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru mixed things up and threw a ball at the final 11 with the theme celebrating the impending end of the world via global warming, or maybe WWIII that is currently edging nearing. While Monet loved herself sick on the runway, Ru and Michelle didn’t agree, Dusty missed the mark, Asia helped everyone else while Aquaria and Kameron absolutely slayed. Ultimately Aquaria snatched the win while Monet sent my number two thirst trap Dusty Ray Bottoms out of the competition.

The queens ruturned to the werk room where poor Monet wasn’t feeling it and was sad that the NYC numbers have dropped. Cracker asked how Asia felt about helping everyone else at the cost of her own look, with her sharing she felt used and abused by the other girls. Though as Mayhem pointed out, she offered … but since I love Asia I will put it down to her venting her frustrations about looking terrible in front of her idol. Cracker jumped in and told her that gifts are given freely and that maybe people feel she didn’t need help since she is confident. While the queens tried to point out that they were competing, she said she wanted to honour their sisterhood. Though if they do want to compete, it isn’t ending well for them.

As Milk as Celine once said – I assume – a new day has come, and the queens returned to the werk room with tensions between The Vixen and Eureka at an all time high, though the former plans to ignore the latter and starve her of attention. Before putting it to the test, Ru returned to oversee the girls turning themselves into drag army recruits In the words of Alexis Mateo – Miss Vanjie. Miss, Vaaannjie. Miss … Vaaaaaaaaanjjjiiiiieeee – I want you to come on home baby. I’m a fucking drag queen! BAM! Asia looked meh, Aquaria channelled mumma Sharon, Monet channelled me and looked hella drunk, Eureka was thirsty, Mayhem went bridal, Miz obvi brought personality, Monique honoured Trinity with a tight Tuck, Blair looked like a kindy kid playing dress-up, The Vixen had a killer storyline and Kameron, obvi, was amazing. The Vixen took out the win, handing her the opportunity to pair up the queens for an improv challenge where they will be extreme guests on the new daytime talk show Bossy Rossy.

But seriously, listen to Sally Jesse and let’s turn this into a real show, okkkkkkkuuuuuuuuurrr?

The Vixen obviously used her powers wisely, snatching Asia for herself and pairing up Blair and Monique, Monet and Kameron and Cracker and Mayhem, leaving her two nemeses Eureka and Aquaria to self-combust. Monet and Kameron were slated to appear on the episode titled ‘My Freaky Addiction is Ruining My Life!’, The Vixen and Asia will tackle ‘Why You So Obsessed With Me?’, Blair and Monique got ‘I Married A Cactus’, Aquaria and Eureka got lucky with the ‘Look At Me! I’m A Sexy Baby!’ episode while Cracker and Mayhem were tasked with ‘Save Me From My Deadly Fear Of … Pickles!’

Asia and The Vixen got to werk with Asia nervous they will either slay or completely bomb, with no in between. The Vixen shared that she tried to be fair with the pairs, though deliberately set up Eureka and Aquaria to fail. Hard. Sadly they seemed to doing well while she and Asia discovered their character descriptions echoed the drama between Miz Cracker and Aquaria, leading to them leaning into the joke and playing their fellow queens which you KNOW is not going down well. Monet wasn’t loving being paired with Kameron giving how quiet she is, though they seemed to be cute together. Cracker decided she would relish – get it – the role of being Dr Dill the pickle, while Eureka just hoped Mayhem could bring it. Blair and Monique were working well together, deciding on Vanjie as a safe word so they can keep each other in check and share the limelight. Bless them. Meanwhile Asia pulled Monet aside to get some T on Aquaria and Miz Cracker to flesh out their storyline, with Monet living for the drama that will ensue.

The queens arrived at the set of the Bossy Rossy Show where Blair and Monique brought it as two women fucking the same cactus and finishing with vanjie screaming fight. Monet arrived to share about her passion for eating hip pads, while Kameron stole the show as a panty sniffing addict. Next up were Mayhem and Cracker, with Mayhem selling the typical talk show host guest though like Monet, was completely owned by Miz Cracker. The copycat copycat-ers The Vixen and Asia arrived with The Vixen struggling from start, breaking character when she even had one. While Asia lifted the energy, a wig reveal couldn’t save them as The Vixen just ran off stage mid-scene. Despite being punished by being paired together, Aquaria and Eureka absolutely slayed the show shading Valentina and breaking down after discovering they shared a man and tantrumed like their lives depended on it.

Elimination Day rolled around with Cracker hoping someone botches the runway to make it clear who is in danger. Monet was questioning herself though lived for sharing the drama re The Vixen and Asia shading Aquaria and Miz Cracker. Asia asked if The Vixen had cleared the air with Eureka and Aquaria, with The Vixen hoping to start a line of T-shirts with her ‘don’t poke the bear catch-phrase.’ Mayhem took the time to hear what The Vixen’s issues are before working to clear the air between Eureka and The Vixen. Against all odds, Mayhem helped them both open up and explain why they behave the way they do … and it was really heartwarming. Bless fucking Mayhem.

On the Denim and Diamonds runway – with extra special guest judges Carrie Preston and Shania Twain – Monet looked cute with big hair … to boot, Kameron brought sexy Dolly realness, The Vixen brought denim elegance, Asia channeled Mad Max, Aquaria had a damn denim fan, Eureka channeled Elvis, Blair was adorable, Monique brought the sex, Mayhem gave us a pop of colour with a pink Opry inspired look … only to be shown up by Miz Cracker with her pink jumpsuit clad moron Pippi Longstockings look. Asia, Blair, Kameron and Aquaria were safe before Ru gave Kameron the chance to talk to his idol Shania who thanked her for inspiring him as a child and starting him on the journey to being a drag queen. I’ve said it way too many times to count, but Kameron is the fucking sweetest and I love her. When she gets airtime, obvi.

Michelle obviously felt Monet’s look was a miss and the judges feeling she didn’t go for her character on Bossy Rossy. The Vixen’s outfit was loved while her performance in the challenge was read for filth. Eureka received universal praise on both counts, the judges loved Monique – and they threw out another Miss Vanjie reference – Mayhem’s look was read for filth though they felt she held back in the challenge. Miz Cracker’s outfit and challenge performance were beloved, particularly all the weird puns. Once again poor Cracker was pipped at the post with Eureka taking out victory in the challenge. Monique was also safe leaving The Vixen, Monet and Mayhem in the bottom three, with The Vixen scraping through by the skin of her teeth while the other girls were tasked with lip syncing to Man! I Feel Like A Woman.

Once again Monet slayed, immediately doing a cheeky wig reveal, riding an invisible motorbike, dying her hair and air guitaring, with poor Mayhem not even able to save herself with a cartwheel. While she was sad to be exiting the competition so early, she was proud to just have made it and proved herself what she can do. Though how could you see it any other way when you’re sitting down to a big bowl of Mayhem Milanese Risotto.

Creamy and delicately flavoured, there is nothing better than a milanese risotto. Plus it is the perfect storm of being super tasty AND super simple. What more could you ask for?

Nothing. The answer is nothing. So enjoy!

Mayhem Milanese Risotto
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1L chicken stock
1 tsp saffron threads
olive oil
butter
2 onions, diced
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 ½ cups arborio rice
½ cup dry vermouth
¾ cup grated parmesan, plus extra to top
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Bring the stock and saffron to a boil in a medium saucepan before reducing to a gentle simmer to keep warm.

Meanwhile heat a lug of olive oil and a knob of butter in a dutch oven over low heat and sweat the onion and garlic for ten minutes or so. Add the rice and cook for five minutes, or until they become translucent.

Add the vermouth and cook stirring until it is all absorbed. Working one ladle at a time, add the stock, stirring constantly and adding more once it is absorbed. Once all the stock has absorbed stir through the parmesan, season well and serve immediately.

Devouring, though being careful of the heat.

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Dusty Ray Butters Chicken

Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with creating ads for RuPaul’s three new dating apps. Despite having a small role, Asia owned the competition and delighted Michelle and Carson, while Mayhem was forgettable and Yuhua floundered in the bottom. Ultimately Mayhem got noticed in the lip sync, saving herself and sending Yuhua out of the competition.

The queens ruturned to the Werk Room where Mayhem vowed to avoid the bottom two for the rest of the season and to fight, while Monet pulled yet another sponge out of thin air and offered it to her to elevate her look. Staunchly against the damn sponges, Asia was shocked they kept manifesting before everyone congratulated her on her win … despite borrowing gloves from Blair. Monique was acting quiet, leading to her sharing that Eureka had stirred shit up in untucked and told her that Mayhem threw her under the bus on the mainstage. While Monique kept coming for her, Mayhem stood her ground and said everyone is so loud that sometimes she never gets a chance to talk. She then vowed to take all the girls out and Monique was ready to go to damn war.

Ru arrived mid-way through the queens reading Monet’s flat Nene Leakes hair for the mini-challenge, where the queens would be required to photobomb famous images. Miz owned Venus Williams, Monique cupped the Jonas bulge to glory, Eureka was flat with RiRi, Asia served comedy face with Will and Kate, Mayhem destroyed TayTay, Dusty Ray was a vision as one of Oprah’s children, Blair St scared Bey, Monet cosied up to Mariah, Kameron schooled the Trumps, The Vixen was boring with Grumpy Cat and Aquaria didn’t like the stank of Kim K and Kanye. Despite Monique going for peen, Aquaria took out the win and gave us a triumphant return for Shawn, albeit briefly.

With that out of the way, Ru announced that this week’s mainstage challenge would feature an end of the world ball – Alaskan Winter Realness, Miami Summer Realness and Martian Eleganza Extravaganza … for when the world ends from global warming. The queens then beat the crap out of each other to grab supplies, with Monet hacking away at an expensive fabric she couldn’t work with, much to Asia’s chagrin. Though at least it wasn’t featuring sponges this time. Kameron was focusing on his head – holy basement flooding, batman – Miz Cracker was focusing on her spacewoman look and was desperate to prove she can slay the runway and her first week wasn’t a fluke. Thankfully she channelled the spirit of Vanjie, and as long as that keeps happening she will never falter.

Monet continued to struggle with the sewing, leading to Asia winning hearts and helping all the queens with their sewing and guiding their looks. Aquaria was one of the few queens not struggling, channeling Milk’s paper doll look … much to Blair, Monique and Miz’s confusion since it is just shapes stuck to underwear. Eureka was busting zippers, Monique was praying for some elasticity to help her out and Dusty was burning and cutting himself whilst still being a sexy Sideshow Bob. While she was proud of her steampunk look, Blair was concerned since it is just metal attached to a corset.

Ru arrived to chat to the girls, starting off by talking to Asia about her drag pedigree – throwing shade at Phi Phi in the process – and her sewing prowess making costumes for Kennedy Davenport and Alyssa Edwards in the past. I mean, she even hemmed a skirt for my girl Dolly – she knows what she’s doing, darlin’. In any event, her killer Tweety last week has everyone’s expectations sky-high and I feel that may bight her. Aquaria was confident about her ability to turn a look, though couldn’t repeat the phrase for the promo. The Vixen was channelling Roxxy’s fave colour, ter-quwaz, before telling Ru that she is a known fire starter though didn’t touch on the drama she’s been dragged into in untucked. Blair was channeling old Hollywood glamour, though struggled to overcome looking like a toddler. That being said, he was loving being underestimated. Monet was confident in his ability to turn a look before Ru called out his love for short wigs. While it is easier in real life, the other queens feel she needs to step it up if she wants to win drag race.

After Ru left the girls to finish their lewks, Blair joined Asia in helping the other queens before Miz Cracker started to doubt herself for not adding enough to her outfit. Monet ran her idea by Eureka, I assume because she wanted to make sure the lack of clarity from her sponge look isn’t repeated. Blair shared with Asia that she feels like she is the mother of the group, leading to Asia sharing about the loss of hers parents. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Miz Cracker addressed NYC rumours about Aquaria having a sugar daddy which she emphatically denied … though Miz broke the fourth wall and pleaded that she would like one. Everyone spoke about accents in particular Eureka’s twang before Monet taught the girls that the British used to speak with an American accent before losing it after returning to England. I love her, but damn, that is some bad schooling she had.

On the mainstage, Kameron, Aquaria and Blair owned Alaskan Winter Realness, while Monet and Dusty Ray were underwhelming and Asia was a mess. Shoutout to Monique being inspired by that one time Beyonce said watermelon. Miami Summer Realness saw Mayhem, Kameron, Aquaria and Miz Cracker slay, while Monet’s dress looked unfinished and Asia was an assault on the senses. Kameron and Aquaria continued to own by the time we got to Martian Eleganza Extravaganza, as did Blair and Miz Cracker. On the flipside, Monet was like the painter implies – good from far away, but a mess up close – The Vixen looked terrible and Dusty didn’t really channel Mars.

Mayhem, Eureka, The Vixen, Monique and Blair were deemed safe, leaving the remaining queens to be critiqued. Despite her confidence, the judges read Monet for filth. Kameron Michaels was universally beloved, as was Aquaria. The judges liked one of Dusty’s looks, though felt the other two were an absolute mess and/or missed the point. The judges felt Asia was underwhelming, leading to her breaking down because she spent so much time helping others that she couldn’t finish her own looks. Miz Cracker also received universal praise.

Aquaria took out the win while Asia just missed the bottom, leaving Monet and Dusty to lip sync for their lives. Despite a dominant performance, Dusty couldn’t compete with Monet’s killer performance – complete with death drop fake outs, vogueing, real splits and hilarious gags – sashaying away, though not before being praised for tearing the house down by Ru.

I was ropable by the time Dusty arrived backstage, not because I wanted Monet to go nor because Dusty is one of my top two thirst traps of the season. Nor do I feel like anyone – outside of The Vixen’s final look – did overly worse, but because that lip sync was fire and to lose half of its performers is heartbreaking.

Dusty held me close – because I obvi exaggerated my pain – until my tears slowed to a trickle, before we reconnected, laughed, cried and all the usual jazz before settling in to toast her wonderful performance with a Dusty Ray Butters Chicken.

Silky smooth, this curry gets a bad rap as the choice of basic white people that can’t handle their spice (and by that, I tease people I know that order it) … but it truly is a beauty. Delicately creamy, lightly spiced, and well since it is me, packing a punch of chilli, it is everything you want from a night with Dusty.

Enjoy!

Dusty Ray Butters Chicken
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
600g chicken thighs, cut into a dice
6 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbsp minced ginger
2 tsp hot chilli powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 ½ tsp garam masala
1 ½ tsp turmeric
2 lemons, juiced and zested
½ cup natural yoghurt
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cardamom pod, seeds lightly crushed
2 cloves
1 tsp ground coriander
400g crushed tomatoes
½ cup double cream
salt and pepper, to taste
coriander, to taste
rice, to serve

Method
Combine the diced chicken in a bowl with half the garlic, half the ginger, half the chilli, cumin, salt, ½ tsp of each the garam masala and turmeric, juice and zest of one of the lemons and the yoghurt. Cover and chill in the fridge for four hours to overnight, to let the flavours develop and marinade.

When you’re ready to get cooking, melt half the butter in a large pan over high heat, reducing to medium when foamy. Add the cardamom, clove, coriander and remaining garam masala, turmeric and chilli, cooking for a couple of minutes or until your kitchen is hella fragrant. Stir through the canned tomatoes and lemon juice before adding the marinated chicken. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for about half an hour, or until the chicken is cooked through.

Stir through the double cream and remaining butter, and season to taste. Serve immediately on a bed of rice with a sprinkling of coriander, while mourning the loss of Dusty.

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Yuhuagurt Hamacaki

Baking, Cake, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were tasked with starring in Ru’s latest musical Pharmarusical – choreographed by none other than Queen *tongue pops* Alyssa Edwards – where The Vixen and her team stormed to victory. Meanwhile Monique was forgettable, Kalorie didn’t give enough and Eureka was in her head about her knee, making her lack heart. Thankfully for her she found enough to slay the lip sync and send Kalorie from the competition.

The queens returned to the werk room where Kalorie stuck to Aja’s wishes to keep exit messages kind, before we heard from Eureka who was shook to have been in the bottom two and hopefully lit a fire in her belly. What is with he listing her body parts today? Let’s see how many more I can get, shall we? Kameron, who is the sweetest in addition to being beautiful and talented, congratulated all the queens on a job well done, before The Vixen gladly spoke about her victory in the challenge which she felt was inevitable. This obviously pissed off Aquaria since her best drag look included a borrowed wig. Monet told The Vixen her leadership earned her the win, Monique was disappointed to be in the bottom three – channeling Milk in thinking she deserved to be higher – while The Vixen just felt she needed to do better.

Ru arrived to talk the girls through the next mini-challenge, where they participate in screen tests for his provocative new chocolate bar in fresh off the bus drag. While Miz Cracker, Mayhem, Dusty, Aquaria and The Vixen kinda fell flat, Blair St Clair slayed her audition, Eureka and Kameron brought a few laughs, Monet owned the competition, Yuhua was cute and Monique finally shon. Blair, Monique and Monet won the challenge, making them team captains for the maxi-challenge where they would be required to create ads for RuPaul’s new dating apps – End of Days for doomsday preppers, Fibstr for pathological liars *maybe* looking for love and Madam Buttrface for the queens with banging bods and busted faces.

Blair’s team of Miz Cracker, Eureka and The Vixen got the End of Days app, Monique picked Dusty Ray, Kameron and Mayhem to tackle Fibstr and Monet, Asia, Aquaria and Yahua were tasked with selling Madam Buttrface. Team Fibstr got to work talking through their ideas, well except for Mayhem who was super quiet outside of volunteering to be the narrator. Over at Butterface, Yuhua was on struggle street hating on all of Monet’s ideas without giving any solutions. Meanwhile Blair and End of Days were all about problems, problems and solutions. Eureka focused on eating and fat jokes, much to the chagrin of The Vixen.

Back with the queens of Fibstr, Kameron offered to take over as the narrator since she knew all the lines anyway. While Mayhem was frustrated to lose the role, she stayed completely silent. Meanwhile the Buttrface girls got to work looking fugly as hell, with Asia warting up, Aquaria pilling on noses and Yuhua … putting dots on her face, which feels like a dig at sexy Sideshow Dusty. Asia spoke to Monique about how she is concerned about their performance, which was the perfect time for everyone to notice that Yuhua clearly misunderstood the assignment to look ugly. Monet then decided to chanel the power of the sponge, which isn’t really relevant to the plot … except for the fact all the queens started Vaaaanjie-ing in canon, which gave me life.

Fibstr were up first filming their commercial where Kameron struggled as the narrator – which Mayhem reminded us she could have done better, despite never verbalising that with her team – and Monique directed herself through the shoot like the great producer herself, Alexis Michelle. Side note: new/new-to-me pit crew guy is hot. Mayhem then struggled through her one scene before getting frustrated by Monique’s micromanaging.

Team End of Days tried to avoid letting Michelle know they were nervous before Eureka ignored the rule that drag isn’t a contact sport (amirite, Mimi Imfurst). Blair, Miz and Eureka slayed their performance while The Vixen was just there. Then came Madam Buttrface where Monet owned the narrator role, though was upstaged by Asia who stole the show thanks to Carson’s advice. Yuhua then focused on exercising, which I think she was hoping would have sexual connotations.

The queens returned to the Werk Room to start preparing for the runway where Blair spoke to Eureka about feeling alone in the competition and missing her mum, before Eureka offered to take her under her wing. The Vixen and Aquaria then had some drama over The Vixen borrowing her best-drag wig before a spider caused even more chaos, until Kameron – of course, swoon – caught the spider and released it into the wild. Blair then shared about her religious upbringing and how her parents are super supportive of her career. This made Dusty open up about her own experience in a conservative household, being exorcised for being gay and how traumatic it was. He was told he would never find love, happiness or success as a gay man, leading him to packing up his car and moving out. It was harrowing and is so absurd that we still need to experience these things in the ‘00s … but sadly, some of us do. Aquaria tried to make a joke about joining Monet for brunch before The Vixen continued to come for Aquaria for upsetting her. This led to Aquaria excusing herself from the Werk Room while the other queens tried to get The Vixen to calm down and be the bigger person.

Pausing the drama my love Nico – and dear friend Courtney Love, who I really need to see soon – joined RuCo on the judging table where they were gagged by the feather runway. Blair looked cute if not boring, Miz Cracker delivered a tribute to her deceased friend, Eureka slayed in crow-Ursula realness, The Vixen made a beautiful peacock, Monique looked like a gorgeous phoenix and Mayhem looked good but kinda left me bored. Dusty looked ok, Kameron looked perfect, Monet brought glamour and then Asia owned everyone dressed as Tweety Bird. Yuhua came out flanked by crows while Aquaria was an injured dove. The End of Days commercial was hilarious, Kameron and Mayhem were unwhelming or non-existent in the Fibstr ad while Asia completely owned the Buttrface commercial.

Blair, Eureka and Asia placed in the top while Kameron, Mayhem and Yuhua landed in the bottom. While the judges were conflicted about her outfit, they loved the way she lead her team and slayed the performance. Nico fanned out over Eureka with Michelle excited she finally joined the competition, slaying the performance and runway. While the judges loved her runway look, it couldn’t overcome her lack of role in the commercial. The judges asked if she spoke up about her concerns, which she admitted she didn’t and it was ultimately on her. The judges adored Kameron’s look with Nico shocked he was in the bottom, while Michelle quickly pointed out it was her beige performance in the ad. Asia deservedly received universal praise for her runway and performance in the commercial. Yuhua was called out for being confused on the runway and for performing horribly in the challenge.

Asia obviously took out victory, while Blair and Eureka were given their orders to use their feet – I forgot I was listing Eureka’s body parts, ok – to join the safe girls. Kameron’s killer runway ultimate saved her from the bottom two, leaving Mayhem and Yuhua to battle it out to Celebrity Skin. While Yuhua tried her best to bring rocker-chick to the stage – complete with air guitar – Mayhem owned the performance from the very first note, channeling the years of auditioning into saving herself. Then she added some shady moves at Yuhua and ripping feathers out of her dress when Courtney sang about people wanting a part of her and it was over – Mayhem was saved and Yuhua was given her marching orders.

Given Yuhua is so delightful, she wasn’t too heartbroken when I found her in the Werk Room packing up. As with most of the NYC queens, Yuhua and I have been friends for a couple of years after meeting through Bob. I was his less photogenic assistant when he was prepping for season 8, so spent a lot of time with Yuhua while collecting looks and we became the fastest of friends with our wild sense of humour. As such, we quickly started getting crazy in the Werk Room as evidenced by her Untucked exit where she was hopped up on sugar … in the form of my Yuhuagurt Hamacaki.

Light and fluffy, sweet and sticky and full of warm, exploding pockets of raspberry, this yoghurt cake is so good. And moist. So, so moist. Like, more moist than I am when Kameron and Dusty are on screen at the same time.

Enjoy!

Yuhuagurt Hamacaki
Serves: 8-12.

Ingredients
¾ cup vegetable oil
2 eggs, whisked
2 lemon, zested and juiced, 1 tablespoon juice reserved for the icing
1 cup Greek yoghurt
1 ½ cups raw caster sugar
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 cup raspberries
1 cup icing sugar
1 tsp boiling water

Method
Preheat oven to 160ºC.

Whisk the oil, eggs, zest, juice, yoghurt and caster sugar in a large bowl, and combine the flour and baking powder in another. Fold the dry into the wet and stir until just combined before folding through the raspberries.

Grease a non-stick bundt tin and pour the batter into it, smoothing the top. Transfer to the oven and bake for 45 minutes, or until golden and an inserted skewer comes out clean. Allow to stand in the tin for ten minutes before transferring to a cooling rack and allowing to cool completely.

Meanwhile combine the icing sugar, extra lemon juice and boiling water in a bowl to form a thick glaze. Pour over the bundt and allow to drip down the sides before slicing, serving and devouring.

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Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams

Baking, Bread, Dessert, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Snack, Sweets, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 14 new queens descending on a new Werk Room for a new season where Ru quickly tasked them with the creating a look using 99c store wonders aka the drag on a dime challenge. Aka the first ever drag race challenge. Twins Aquaria and Miz Cracker seemed to have issues, the former more so than the latter before Kalorie Karbdashian Williams and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo landed in the bottom two, and poor Alexis’ girl becoming the first person out.

Miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Banjie. BAMjie. We want you to come back home baby …

Miss Vaaaaaaaaanjie.

The surviving queens returned to the Werk Room to discover the notes are not as aggressive as All Stars 3. The queens then reminisced about everyone’s passion for repeating Miss Vanjie before Monet broke things up by protesting her safe placement ala Milk. Thankfully Asia has a bit of her daughter’s spark, telling her she is delusional and that if no one got what she was going for, it clearly wasn’t very good. Things then took a turn with The Vixen stoking the fire between Aquaria and Miz Cracker, with Aquaria back-pedalling and Miz Cracker just not giving a shit since she was in the top and Aquaria wasn’t.

Kalorie and Eureka lead the queens back the next day by threatening to eat people, which I assume is sexually. Before we could find out, Ru arrived with King of the Housewives Andy Cohen himself to lord over a quick-drag ho-down mini-challenge, Hay Girl Hay. Just as an aside, Kameron and Dusty are still hot as shit and I feel that is important we note.I mean, Kameron in quick drag could almost turn me straight. Anyway the queens broke it down, with The Vixen, Kameron – swoon – Asia and Aquaria turning it out. Oh and Blair, that little girl brought matriarch realness.

Andy and Ru crowned Asia and The Vixen as the winners of the mini challenge, which came with the prize of leading teams in Ru’s latest musical PharmaRusical – a parody lip sync extravaganza of the terror of US drug ads. Asia selected Aquaria, Monique Heart, Dusty, Yuhua and Kalorie, up against The Vixen, Kameron, Miz Cracker, Monet, Blair and Mayhem. That left Eureka to select her own team, joining Asia’s much to her chagrin given that she never shuts the hell up.

The groups split up and got to work going through their scripts and selecting roles, with Vixen taking charge of her group and ignoring everyone’s preferences. Which Monet hated. Meanwhile Eureka was already rubbing Asia the wrong way, constantly talking throughout their rehearsal and not listening. Asia, of course, then lead the team to choreograph the routine so they have something when they meet the choreographer. Well, when Eureka was done talking. Meanwhile The Vixen’s team had done outfits and were really happy with that, until they saw how well the other team were doing it. Ru returned to check in on the teams, with Asia’s rightly feeling extremely confident. He then brought up Eureka’s injury, bringing up some more PTSD for the chatty Cathy of the group. On the flipside The Vixen’s team felt close to death.

Team Asia arrived on the mainstage to discover the one and only Alyssa Edwards would be choreographing the musical – ding dong Todrick, amirite – with the queen of the Haus of Edwards thrilled to hear they’ve come prepared. After throwing some shade at Charlie Hides for being lifeless, Alyssa worked those queens OUT and forced them to drink her go-go juice and high-kick their lives away. While most of them nailed it, Ms Karbdashian and Eureka struggled. Backstage Kameron was wondering why she was first to be selected with The Vixen explaining that she needed quiet people who would work. Again, swoon. The Vixen and Miz Cracker then spoke about the drama between her and Aquaria with The Vixen explaining she just wants them to clear the air rather than be shady.

The Vixen’s team were delighted to discover Alyssa Edwards would be doing choreographer, while she was hella disappointed since they had nothing prepared. While they assured her they had prepared characterisation, she was not convinced and felt extremely concerned about their performance. Despite being a Broadway Baby, Blair couldn’t seem to land her legs making Alyssa and the girls even more anxious. To the point Alyssa gave them a pep talk to try and motivate them, making me wish that I could be a part of the Haus of Edwards and hear those on the daily. Back in the Werk Room Eureka started to get in her head and felt like nobody wanted her in the team, breaking down about not bringing it. This obviously annoyed Asia who just wanted to focus on the damn challenge.

The queens arrived the next day, ready to slay their performances. Well, The Vixen’s team were kinda just hoping to survive the performance at best. Dusty spoke about her concern that Michelle won’t like her make-up and will call out her dots, before Kalorie turned things dark sharing about her experiences being bullied in High School. I mean, there was a cup of piss thrown at her and it sounded horrific though thankfully Jujubee inspired her and she pulled through. Yas, Jujubee, the hero we don’t deserve.

Despite nailing their rehearsal team Asia struggled due to Eureka’s inability to hit any of the lyrics and Kalorie and monique, who were just there. That being said, the rest of the queens slayed, Dusty in particular. On the flipside, everyone on The Vixen’s team turned it the hell out. Again, Kameron is beautiful. Despite that, The Vixen and Mayhem owned it.

The queens had to bring their best drag to the main stage where Asia, Dusty, The Vixen, Miz Cracker and Kameron – obvi – slayed, Monique served muppet realness, while Yuhua, Eureka and Kalorie bombed in their bodysuits. Team Vixen rightfully snagged the win, with The Vixen winning the challenge – though Kameron kinda deserved it, no? – and Team Asia up for elimination. Asia and Dusty received universal praise (ish for Asia), Yuhua’s performance was adored while her outfit was read for filth, on the flipside Monique and Aquaria slayed the runway but bombed the rusical and Kalorie and Eureka were read for filth entirely, with the latter completely breaking down from stress. Obviously that lead to Kalorie and Eureka lip syncing, and forced to eat each other rather than the skinny girls. Despite bombing the lip sync extravaganza, Eureka nailed every single lyric and felt the entire song … ultimately destroying Kalorie and sending her out of the competition in tears.

It was hard to see Kalorie so heartbroken when she joined me backstage, so I bit my tongue when I was close to telling her I was expecting to see her. I held her close, told her New Mexico would be proud of her for just making the show and pulled out my showstopping Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams to turn the mood around.

I love bread, I love chocolate and I love peanut butter – name a more iconic trio, TBH – so we you combine them together … then plait and bake, the only thing you can feel is joy.

Enjoy!

Babkalorie Karbdashian Williams
Serves: 8-10.

Ingredients
½ cup milk, warmed to 35-40°C
7g dry yeast
¼ cup raw caster sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
3 eggs
2 cups flour, plus ¼ cup extra
½ tsp salt
110g unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces
¼ cup butter, melted
100g chocolate
2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp muscovado sugar
1 tbsp double cream

Method
Combine the milk and yeast in a jug with a pinch of sugar and leave to foam for five minutes or so. Meanwhile whisk two eggs in a bowl with the raw caster sugar until smooth, before adding the foamy yeast.

Combine the flour and salt and pour in the egg mixture, mixing with the dough hook of a stand mixer until everything is wet. Transfer hook and bowl to the mixer, and knead while adding the cubed butter piece by piece. When all the butter has been added, knead for ten minutes or so or until the dough in smooth and elastic. Transfer to a greased bowl, cover and leave to prove for two hours or until doubled, then transfer to the fridge to chill for an hour.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Combine half the melted butter with the chocolate, peanut butter, 1 tbsp raw caster sugar, ½ tsp cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a saucepan and melt over a double boiler until combined. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

Transfer the chill dough to a lightly floured surface and roll into a 40x30cm rectangle and spread with the peanut butter and chocolate filling. Roll up along the long edge to form a long roll – so descriptive, no? Cut log in half and pull to stretch slightly before placing them next to each other. Cross one log over the other in the middle to form an x before twisting each end twice to form a long braid. Transfer to a lined bread pan and leave to prove for half an hour.

While the bread is proving, combine the muscovado sugar and flour with the remaining caster sugar, cinnamon and butter and stir to combine. Whisk the egg and cream to combine. When the babka has risen, brush with the egg wash, scatter with streusel and transfer to the oven to back for 45 minutes, or until golden.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for fifteen minutes before turning into on a wire rack and allowing to cool completely.

Then cut into slices and devour.

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Panissa Vanjie Mateo

Party Food, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap, Vegetarian

After nearly a decade of buffoonery, riggery and straight up tomfoolery, RuPaul’s Drag Race is back for season 10. While sure, it was only last week we saw Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross induct Trixie Mattel into the Drag Race Hall of Fame, I am always thirsty for some new queens to take a lap.

Eureka was first to enter the new werk room, thrilled to be back after destroying her knee last year. She was quickly joined by Phi Phi’s momma, Asia O’Hara who looked so fierce I’ve already got my winner pick lined up. Asia was followed by Bob’s daughter Miz Cracker, who terrified Asia with the use of a racial slur. Though not for long, as they were soon joined by Yuhua Hamasaki who brought Asian to the competition, as opposed to Asia.

Filling the Broadway Baby role vacated by Alexis Michelle – the producer – is Blair St. Clair who looks about ten outside of drag. Monet X. Change joined his fellow NY queens Yuhua and Miz Cracker and reminded me of Bo …

Sorry, I just fainted at the sight of Kameron Michaels. I’m not sure if I fainted or lost too much liquid, but I’m in love.

Mayhem Miller continued her family’s – Morgan and Detox, FYI – legacy by joining the competition, followed by Kaloria Karbdashian Williams who was done dirty by that promo look ya’ll. Monique Heart channeled Tatianna with some spoken word on entry, though with 6000 times the confidence. Dusty Ray Bottoms joined the fray and despite channeling Sideshow Bob out of drag, I’m feeling thirsty. Mopping it up The Vixen arrived serving Chicago realness followed by Alexis’ daughter – BAM, baby come through – Vanessa Vanjie Mateo joined the fray and I’m already living for her talking heads. Rounding out the cast was Sharon’s girl Aquaria, who already has some drama with Miz Cracker which is either going to crash and burn quickly or drag on throughout the entire season.

With all the girls lined up, the alarm sounded and Ru arrived to announce their first mini-challenge where they would have to slay a runway whilst being drowned in a sea of former queens. Eureka was up first and despite being surrounded by Katya, Bob, Chad, Jaymes, Trixie, Peppermint, Adore, Manilla, Detox, Morgan, she did ok though almost toppled off the stage. Mayhem slayed, Miz did her momma proud, Asia owned the stage, Kalorie twerked it out, Monique impressed Derrick with her ability to hem clothes, Adore was delighted by The Vixen, despite her shotty workmanship. Dusty didn’t impress Tempest, but everyone else seemed to live. Yara Sofia was confused whether Yuhua was a queen or a removalist, Vanessa hoped to serve the House of Mateo and Kameron felt she was either loved or hated, with their being no in between. The queens lived for Monet while Blair lived for the queens, and Aqauria impressed the hell out Adore who saw her in the top. In reality though, she was in Jinkx’s face after falling off the stage.

The queens returned to the werk room to de-drag and get thirsty, with Yuhua unsure how to identify the African American queens out of drag. Kameron took his shirt off, I creamed my shorts again, and all the queens let it be known they were thirsty as hell for him. Before anyone had the chance to make a move, Ru returned to crown Monet the winner of the mini challenge … and announce the first maxi challenge of the season. Harkening back to the very first challenge, the queens were tasked with creating a high fashion look with only thrift store items.

After minutes of madness, pushing and shoving as they collected their materials, the queens got to work designing their outfits. While The Vixen felt confident, Miz Cracker realised she had nothing going on so started bartering with the other queens to collect three hats and a shower curtain. She shared the fact she grew up poor and was taught to make fascinating, beautiful art with things she found on the street. Inspired by the bartering, Monet handed over a basket full of barbies for Vanessa’s look after locking in a Gaga-inspired sponge ensemble. Dusty was going futuristic with sun visors, as was Blair St. Clair. Yuhua was concerned about doing a caution tape dress since it had been done before. Vanessa was doing a floral look with a barbie headpiece, though wasn’t feeling very confident about it.

Elimination day arrived with us learning Kalorie was going with a literal million dollar look, which has already been done with great success multiple times. Monique’s house of cards outfit looked insane, while Yuhua thought The Vixen’s look looked half-done. Kalorie then brought up Eureka’s accident, bringing back some bad memories for her who didn’t think she would be fit enough to return. It also brought out her vulnerable side, as she felt more pressure being back because she needed to bring it and make her return worth it. Mayhem too was feeling the pressure to live up to the family name after applying to so many seasons. We then learnt the origins of Dusty’s make-up dots which felt out of place until it segwayed into the drama between Cracker and Aquaria who were both doing similar make-up, with all the queens gagged by the impending drama between the look-a-like queens.

On the mainstage, Aqauria’s Little Ho Peep was good but kinda underwhelming, Asia brought Party City realness – poor Phi Phi – Kalorie tried to channel Kris Jenner, though didn’t serve. In the first of the windshield outfits, Blair looked beautiful, followed by Dusty Ray Bottoms who also slayed despite the questionable hat. Kameron, obvi, was gorgeous, Monet’s sponge look was near perfection, The Vixen served in her pool noodle look, Mayhem owned the runway, Eureka served sugar tits realness, Monique’s card look was insane and amazing, Vanessa looked pretty terrible but BAM that personality can cure flaws. Yuhua threw caution to the wind and thrilled Michelle with her ahnk. On the flipside, Miz Cracker channeled a widow and slayed with her sadness.

Kameron, Aquaria, Asia, Eureka, Monet, Monique – who was robbed – and The Vixen were deemed safe before Ru dropped a bomb on the queens. There was one more person to join the competition – Farrah Moan. JK Kimora, it was just this week’s guest judge Christina Aguilera … much to the delight of the queens who were gagged by her arrival and the fact she creeped on their runways from side of stage.

The judges read Kalorie for filth, despite Christina loving her personality. They adored Blair, loved Dusty Ray’s Bottom though Michelle hated the hat and – obviously – the dots on the face, which explains why we learnt their origins earlier. Mayhem received universal praise for literally everything bringing her to tears after all the stress of delivering, Vanessa’s look was despised though her personality was off the charts and brought her up in everyone’s eyes. They liked Yuhua’s look, though Michelle just wanted to talk ahnk. Miz Cracker’s look in combination with her killer mainstage display of wit, had the judges sopping up everything about her.

Miz Cracker and Blair joined the safe girls before Mayhem Miller was crowned the winner of the first challenge, once again bringing her to tears. Yuhua was also deemed safe, leaving Dusty, Kalorie and Vanessa in the bottom three. Despite Michelle hating the dots, Dusty was deemed safe leaving Kalorie and Vanessa to battle it out to XTina’s Ain’t No Other Man. From the very first note Kalorie owned the lip sync and despite getting stronger as the song went on, Vanessa could never really compete with the twerking Kardashian. As such, Kalorie saved herself and poor Vanessa Vanjie Mateo became the first queen to sashay away from the competition. Breaking my damn heart in the process, seeing how sad she was as she broke down about letting Alexis down.

As a dear friend of the house of Mateo, I pulled her straight into my arms backstage and assured her that her momma would be proud of her performance and would also support her. While it took me a while to perk her up, we got there as soon as I pulled out a plate of Panissa Vanjie Mateo.

Like an earthy, healthier version of polenta chips, these babies are insanely delicious, despite their simplicity. Crisp on the outside, delicate on the inside, BAM, we’ve got another winner for the House of Mateo.

Enjoy!

Panissa Vanjie Mateo
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1L water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
2 ½ cups chickpea flour
olive oil spray, to cook

Method
Bring the water, olive oil and salt to the boil in a saucepan over high heat. When it is boiling, remove from the heat and whisk in the chickpea flour. Return to the heat and stir with a wooden spoon for five minutes, or until thick and holding its shape.

Transfer to a lined baking-dish and press to flatten. Transfer to the fridge to set for about an hour or so.

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Once set, remove from the pan and cut into 1-2cm thick chips and transfer to a lined baking sheet. Place in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Serve immediately with a good whack of salt and pepper, and devour.

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10s across my board

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 10, TV Recap

While I normally come to you complaining about how parched I am between seasons, it doesn’t really fly for RuPaul’s Drag Race 10 since Trixie Mattel hasn’t even reached the one week anniversary of her crowning.

Side note: can you actually believe it has been (less than) a week since Shangela was down dirty by Alexis Michelle, the producer?

Anyway – I love Trixie, I love Shangie, hell I even still love Milk after the arrogance … but well, there needs to be less twists, because sometimes they blow up in your face. Though in this instance – us getting season 10 a week after All Stars 3 finished – it worked out for the best, so let’s be grateful.

So yeah … this kinda went off the rails no? Buckle in – well don’t worry about that Tyra, go wild babe – sit back and prepare to be gagged on the eleganza of season 10.

Well, unless Kameron is free …

Image source: VH1.

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