Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls starred in the opening and closing performance of the new hit rusical, Lairy Poppins. Which was bad news for Dakota, given she absolutely hates musicals. Despite that, it was a strong showing across the board which gave us one of the strongest rusicals of all time. Despite giving herself the starring role to snatch a win, Pixie grew nervous at the last minute and asked Danny to trade with her. Which obviously meant Danny took out her third victory of the season. Dakota meanwhile landed in the bottom opposite Baby and while she obviously turned out the lip sync – because it is what she does, after all – she opted to leave the competition due to the pressure it was putting on her emotionally. Likely saving Dakota from elimination.
Backstage the dolls were heartbroken by Baby’s departure, praising her for looking after her mental health and genuinely applauding her for making the tough decision to care for herself. The dolls took to the couches where Danny was exhausted by the literal weight of her epic outfit, while Jonbers was just thrilled to land in the top and get lavished in praise by Ru and Co. Which led to Pixie getting a wee bit shady, pointing out that since she doesn’t have a badge, she is likely the next to go. Oh and then Danny ran around eating everyone with her plant head.
Everyone returned to the Werk Room squawking like birds before realising that they’ve made it to the halfway point of the competition. Jonbers shared that she finally realised that she needed to have fun and enjoy herself during the rusical which is why she succeeded, while Peppa was far more focused on just getting another win. Oh and Cheddar was carrying a fake cockroach around. Before we could learn more about her backstory, Ru dropped by to announce that for this week’s Maxi Challenge – finally! – they would be playing the Snatch Game. Much to the delight of everyone but Le Fil.
As soon as Ru departed, the dolls immediately split up to talk through characters, with Le Fil opting for Marie Kondo despite playing Posh Spice on Mel C’s global tour, while Danny wanted to do Louis Walsh and Jonbers was planning on doing my love Enya. Before we could learn more, Ru returned with Baga Chipz MBE to give some advice with Ru and Baga happy with both of Le Fil’s choices, while Pixie shared was doing Shirley Bassey, Peppa was going with Lil Nas X, Cheddar was undecided between Quentin Crisp and Lizzie I while Dakota was all in on Pete Burns. Jonbers and Danny were last up to kiki, with Ru reiterating how much she loved Jonbers in the rusical. Almost as much as she likes the idea of her doing Enya, though not as much as her own idea for Jonbers, St. Patty, the female version of St. Patrick. While Ru read Danny’s version of Louis, leading to a late breaking change to Cilla Blake.
After Ru left, Peppa channelled Lisa Barlow and was physically shaking leading to Jonbers pulling her aside for a pep talk, encouraging her to just believe in herself and to channel the Black Peppa energy into the challenge. And ugh, I love to see it. Cheddar meanwhile looked perfect as Liz the First while Danny too spiralled over who to choose. Which again led to a beautiful pep talk, this time from Cheddar, Pixie and Dakota. And is this her fourth win incoming?
We ventured to the mainstage where Ru was joined by Tess Daly and AJ Odudu on the panel for Strictly Come Snatch Game. And well Cheddar was perfect from the very start, particularly with her rotted teeth. Le Fil was energetic, Danny stuck with Cilla Black and was a delight, Pixie was strong and Dakota was an absolute delight. Peppa meanwhile was awkward but sexy, while Jonber’s St Patty was demented and hilarious. Cheddar went from strength to strength with every round, giving a horned up, murderous, giggly delight, while Jonbers was far and away having the best time. Pixie meanwhile appeared to struggle and leant into only diamonds despite some strong jokes, while Peppa was total bombed. And Le Fil was one, tidy and polite note. Oh and Dakota is funny, which needs to be reiterated.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls excited to be embracing girl power in honour of this week’s guest judge Mel B. Pixie meanwhile took time out to congratulate Jonbers on killing two challenges in a row, before Jonbers in turn praised Cheddar as the only other spoiler to her first win. Peppa meanwhile knew she bombed and accepted it, while Le Fil had fun despite not being super funny. Everyone split up to get ready with Cheddar opening up to Dakota about her runway look which pays homage to the pink triangle used to fight the inaction against AIDS (and before that, the way to identify queer people in the holocaust). Talk turned to the general horror of government’s inaction and how it led to the genocide of queer people, and the stigma and trauma we still live with from coming of age through the ads of the time.
And ugh, I loved Cheddar’s passionate lecture about HIV education and well, just give her the crown, please.
Ru, Michelle, Alan and my girl Scary Spice took their places on the panel as Dakota kicked off the Tickled Pink runway looking stunning as a modern day Marilyn, by way of Courtney Act. Black Peppa was stunning in a clash of patterns and textures while paying homage to Marge Simpson and fairy floss. Pixie paid homage to Ru’s racer girl look in the opening titles, Cheddar was breathtaking in her glorious statement number. It was architectural, sexy, stunning and dare I say it, also paying homage to Dragometry? Danny owned 51% of the runway with a sweet, velvet and feathered delight. Jonbers gave a cute showgirl while Le Fil was stunning in an umbrella and tent gown which is so much better than my description.
Dakota and Danny were sent to safety before Peppa, obviously, was read for filth for her Lil Nas X despite Mel B getting horned up by her look. Oh and they loved the runway. Pixie meanwhile got a mixed bag for Snatch Game, with more lows than highs, though they lived for her runway. Cheddar received wall to wall praise for nailing Snatch Game and for giving such a stunning look on the runway that gave an even stronger message. Jonbers too got universal praise, with everyone glad that she was clearly having so much fun. Oh and her outfit was cute. And well, poor Le Fil was read for just being lovely and quiet, rather than bringing any jokes. Though damn did they love her outfit!
Backstage Team D were thrilled to be safe as the tops and bottoms joined them to fill them in on the critiques. While Jonbers was thrilled, Pixie was disappointed to have gotten mixed reviews, leading to the girls reminding her that she needs to get back out of her head and embrace her talent. Peppa knew she was bad so wasn’t too disappointed, instead turning her attention to the lip sync which is kinda the vibe that Le Fil was giving off too. As Jonbers and Cheddar opened up about how much it meant to them to do well in Snatch Game.
Ultimately Cheddar jagged her second win of the season, leaving Jonbers with a second week of being the bridesmaid. At the other end of the pack, Pixie obviously avoided landing in the bottom two, leaving Le Fil and Peppa to battle it out to the iconic Stop by my girls, the Spicys. Le Fil gave camp comedy perfection and while Peppa started out slow, she built throughout the song until she literally flipped and somersaulted all over the stage. Which was enough to save herself, sending sweet Le Fil out of the competition.
As soon as Le Fil rounded the corner back into the Werk Room, I pulled her in for a massive hug and immediately burst into tears over the thought of losing her. While Le Fil didn’t have as large a personality compared to some of her sisters, her warmth and heart radiated through the screen and I instantly fell in love. Add in the fact she is super talented, knows how to consistently turn a perfect look and is dripping in charm, there was no denying the importance of toasting her success with a punchy Mayor Bille Fil.
Zesty and bitter, this quick and easy cocktail is oh so refreshing. Though maybe that is because they are so easy to make, meaning you barely notice drinking another.
Mayor Bille Fil Serves: 1.
Ingredients 30ml sweet vermouth 30ml dry vermouth 12ml gin 2 tsp orange juice dash of bitters
Method Pop everything in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake, pour and down.
Previously on Australian Survivor Nina struggled with her guilt after joining her alliance to get rid of her mother, though was emotionally getting ready to take absolute control of the game. The Blood tribe dominated the next immunity challenge – why couldn’t this challenge have been an episode earlier?! – sending the new Water tribe to tribal council. And Sophie into paranoia mode as she spent the afternoon stressing out about Sam voting her out again and hunting for an idol. This sadly led to her sister KJ breaking down given she was quickly becoming more and more at risk of becoming collateral damage amongst her chaos. After Sam and Sophie got into a(nother) massive fight at tribal, we learnt Sophie didn’t actually find an idol and as such she was voted out for good. This time by her own sister.
Back at camp KJ was sad to have voted out her little sister, though the tribe kindly rallied around her to make sure she was ok before she quietly cried by the fire, vowing to make her sister proud. And well, we need to protect KJ at all costs because she is one of the sweetest, kindest people to grace the planet.
The next day things were far more chill as the tribe snuggled together and bonded, with KJ feeling relaxed now that she only has to worry about herself. Sam meanwhile was worried about what sort of a relationship she could have with KJ moving forward before she caught up with Chrissy, who suggested Michelle and KJ should be the next two to go. So maybe she won’t have to worry if Chrissy gets her way. Either way Sam didn’t appear to be sold on the idea before she moved on to Khanh in the water, who admitted he was kind of shocked he wasn’t blindsided at the last tribal council given it would have been the perfect cover for them to use. Sam opened up to us about loving Khanh and enjoying working with him, though admitted she wasn’t sure if he and his idol would end up being an asset or a curse for her game.
Meanwhile over at Blood, Nina and Jordan were swapping war stories while poor Amy was just feeling left right out, unsure how to read any of the relationships in the new tribe and missing the good old days. Like when Sandra was here, I assume. She had a quick chat with Mark about relationships on Blood, with Amy disappointed that her relationship with Jordan had changed now that his cousin was around. Speaking of Josh, we finally heard from him and learnt he was loving being reunited with his cousin, despite how much of a target it puts on their backs. We also finally got his backstory and learnt about him being a pilot, which would have been useful information before Jonathan ran his mouth about his profession every damn challenge.
Josh realised that he couldn’t rely solely on his cousin however, so approached Nina about firmly up their alliance. Which she was happy with. For now.
The tribes met up with Jonathan for the latest reward challenge where they would face off, two by two, on a pontoon where one person from each tribe would have to try and pull a pole through a knot to knock their rival off the edge. With the first tribe to three getting a feast of fish and chips, which had Chrissy speechless, which is a feat in itself. Mark and Croc were first to battle trying to knock off Jordie and Jesse, and since Jordie got Sandra out, I look forward to him going into the drink. Which tragically meant Mark saved him and took out the first round for Blood. Sam and Chrissy were up next against Shay and Mel, with Nina and Mark assuring Mel to just hold firm until Chrissy tires. Which didn’t happen as her fire for food was enough to send Shay into the water and tie things up.
KJ and Ben were up next against Amy and Josh with the newly introduced pilot besting Ben out of nowhere, despite the latter’s prowess at furiously pulling on his pole. From Jonathan’s mouth to my ears! Josh and Jordan teamed up against Khanh and Croc in the next round with Jordan narrowly taking out victory for Blood after a very hard fought battle before poor Croc lost his grip. Much to his absolute dismay.
Back at camp the Blood tribe were delighted to find their bountiful feast of fish and chips, despite the fact I hate the idea of salad also being brought into the equation. We then learnt that Shay had been vegan for over six years but recently started eating fish again and as such, she was pumped to eat anything and everything in sight. Cutlery be damned. Jordie meanwhile was smashing lemons, while Josh was busy stressing about Mel’s bond with Mark given she isn’t as strong as other people. And he just doesn’t really click with her. Oh and then we got a bunch of flight puns and while I normally live for a pun, I wasn’t feeling it because I live in hope we’ll one day meet the twins.
We then ventured back to the Water tribe with Chrissy frustrated to still have an empty, ever shrinking belly. She opened up to Croc about how exhausted she is and how much she is missing her babies and ugh, watching her hold back tears was difficult. Khanh noticed how everyone was feeling down, sharing with us that he didn’t really care about missing out on the food given all he cares about is immunity. Oh and when you start losing rewards, you see who is really struggling with their emotions and as such, it paints a target on other people’s backs. Chrissy meanwhile tried to get Ben to believe in himself, rather than treating himself so harshly whenever he loses. While Khanh and Sam floated the idea of going after him at the earliest convenience because of his post-loss mood.
And please Khanh, don’t make me lose one of my speedo zaddies so soon!
The tribes reunited with Jonathan in the middle of the bush for the next immunity challenge where the tribes would have to walk through a floating obstacle one at a time carrying a spool before stacking them on the end of the apparatus. With the first tribe to balance all of their spools taking out victory. Amy quickly whipped through the course for the Blood tribe while Michelle took the slow and steady approach for Water. Sam quickly tried to close the gap with Shay and from there, everything appeared to be pretty even until Jordie placed his spool off centre, leading to Jordan almost knocking off their stack and having to wait for things to stabilise before he continued. And then it ended up dropping completely as soon as he re-started, giving Water a huge advantage, allowing them to take things slow as Blood started over once again. Which proved too much to come back from as Ben placed the final Water spool and took out immunity for his tribe.
And more importantly, earned his redemption from the reward loss.
Back at camp the tribe were gutted to have lost the challenge, none more so than Jordan even though it was all actually Jordie’s fault. But whatever. Thankfully, he was feeling a-ok despite the fact the OG Blood tribe were outnumbered, given his cousin is very well connected. Josh crossed over to talk to Dave and Jordan to float the idea of getting rid of Mel, given she is very non-committal whenever he tries to talk to her about alliance. Since they had no other real options, they readily agreed and the idea quickly whipped all through camp as everyone got on board.
When Jordan went to loop in his dear friend Amy, she decided enough was enough and as such, she wanted to split up the last remaining duo in the tribe as they had gotten so cocky. Amy went to Dave and Mel, quickly getting them on board with her plan to take out Jordan before approaching Mark to gauge his interest. Who obviously said he was keen but reminded her they still needed another person to pull it off and as such, she approached Shay. Who tragically went straight back to Josh and filled him in on her plan to split up the cousins.
Josh immediately pulled all the boys aside to catch up with Jordan – who was bathing in his speedos like a king – and quickly flipped the vote on Amy instead of Mel. Feeling confident, the cousins pulled in anyone and everyone in the tribe, locking in the OG Water tribe to vote for Amy while the OG Blood would vote for Mel. However thankfully when Nina found out, she wasn’t really into the idea of getting rid of Amy and as such, she was thrilled when Amy approached her to get rid of Jordan. Particularly since if she wants to be Josh’s number one, she needs to get rid of his cousin to lock in his loyalty to her.
At tribal council Jordan freely admitted that his stumble in the challenge could have painted a target on his back, with Josh doubling down on the strategy of keeping the best challenge performers in the competition despite his cousin allegedly causing their loss. Dave jumped in and defended Amy, pointing out she was far and away the best in this challenge, which Josh really didn’t seem interested in listening to. Amy opened up about her difficult position post-swap, though was hopeful she was able to make friends before talk turned to making moves and taking risks, because they all need a resume to take out the win.
Jonathan reminded them all of Sandra’s advice to focus on making decisions that are best for their individual games which Nina agreed was the greatest advice, given a compelling argument can quickly cloud your judgement and distract from what you need to do. Mel meanwhile focused on the fact the game will soon change again when the tribes merge and as such, they need to start making decisions based on what will help them later. Nina agreed that it is a massive complication and there are so many moving parts, leading to Josh and Jordan both talking about sticking to their word. Though Nina assured us that she knows who she wants to wake up with the next morning and that decision is what is best for her game.
With that the tribe voted and while I was hopeful Amy’s plan against my speedo king would come together, she was tragically booted from the game ending our week of hard losses. Like her brother, Amy is an absolutely delightful icon and obviously, we are the dearest of friends. While I was kicked off Masterchef during Khanh’s season and wiped for the record, we became super close before I met Amy and became even closer with her. Maybe because my parents were going to call me Amy if I were a girl.
As such, it was so wonderful to be there for my girl when she arrived in Loser Lodge. While she was disappointed to go so soon, I reminded her that in many ways, being swap-screwed is the best way to go, given it is one of those instances where there is really nothing you could do. And you know, blame your demise on that. With that, we had many a laugh before toasting her success with a big ol’ Amy Melong Ball.
While this may not be my favourite cocktail, it is so camp and kitsch that I will never turn it down. I mean, it is called a melon ball and the garnish IS A MELON BALL.
Amy Melong Ball Serves: 1.
Ingredients ice 60ml Midori 30ml vodka orange juice melon balls, to garnish
Method Fill a glass with ice and pour in the midori and vodka before topping with orange juice (which I may have forgotten about and just doubled the recipe).
Previously on Australian Survivor 12 pairs entered the bush to battle it out for the title of Sole Survivor, immediately split up and forced to face off against their loved ones. After losing back to back immunity challenges, Water voted Andy and Briana out of the game, and while the former’s sister Kate took it all in her stride, Briana’s dad David was willing to burn everything to the ground. After winning the reward, David and Khanh ventured to the Survivor Shop together and in addition to comfort items for Dave, managed to find an idol each. Ending their streak, Water won immunity leading to David trying to get Sandra out of the game, and vice versa. Sadly for Sandra, Dave’s paranoia led to him burning any and all bridges within the tribe – most notably, throwing his chief defender under the bus – attracting all the votes his way before playing his idol and sending Kate home.
The next day Ben was looking a treat while fishing in his speedo while Sandra watched on, thrilled to survive the shitshow that was last night’s tribal council. Glad that while David survived, he also painted an epic target on his back and as such would still distract from her. Dave meanwhile realised how big of a fuck-up tribal council was and knew that now was time to win people back. He started off making a joke about feeling like he is waking up after a big night before trying to calmly apologise, while everyone awkwardly watched on. Sam meanwhile admitted to us that she was so annoyed by Dave running his mouth because he had accurately identified her game and as such, she got to work trying to make him look as untrustworthy as possible so that everyone tries to boot him. Again.
Meanwhile over at the Water tribe, Khanh was whipping up a batch of jungle tacos and reminded us of Dave and Khahn’s hat message to tip the other off about their idols. Begging the question, will this actually play out or will Dave do him dirty? Before we ventured to the reward challenge, Khanh reminded us how well connected he is, with Chrissy, Mel, Jordie and Josh all in his alliance, with Mark thrown in for good measure. Mark meanwhile was watching on as Khanh continued to charm anyone and everyone and as such, he realised that he may need to get rid of him sooner rather than later. Mark pulled Shay, KJ and Josh aside to reiterate how nervous they should be about Khanh, though assured them they need to bide their time and make sure that when they do target him, they don’t miss.
And ugh, don’t break up so soon Markhanh!
The tribes arrived to meet Jonathan near a lake with David being a man of his word, showing Khanh that he used his idol the night before. Nina admitted to being shocked her mother survived, while Sandra asked Jonathan to decide whether it was a three ring circus or shit show. Which, lol. Jonathan then explained the reward challenge where one at a time, people would try and cross a ditch to ring a bell while their opponent would do the same. All for a morning tea of croissants, so everyone was PUMPED. Mark and Croc were up first and immediately wrestled like their lives depended on it before Mark grabbed his rope, rang the bell and scored the first point for his tribe. His wife Sam opted to go next, facing off against Shay with both ignoring each other and sprinting across the ditch to ring their bell as quickly as possible, with Sam narrowly taking out victory.
Josh and Jordan were up next with Jordan rocking a gorgeous speedo and well, I can’t tell you what was happening because like the ditch, my basement was flooded. I mean, the speedo became a g-string at one point before coming off. And while he pulled up his pants before scoring the second point for the Blood tribe, it was still stunning. Nina and Sandra were next to face off with Sandra once again talking smack about her sweet baby girl before they both grappled in the water. While Sandra tried to drag her daughter, Nina continued to power on and ultimately scored a point for her tribe and tied things up. Jesse and Khanh were next to face off, this time for the win, with Jesse slithering on in his gloriously technicolour speedo and narrowly getting to his bell ahead of Khanh. Securing reward for the Blood tribe.
As has become tradition, Jonathan told the Blood tribe they would be able to select one person from the losing tribe to come back to their camp and enjoy the spoils with them. With Ben adorably inviting his partner Shay, while Mark looked bitterly disappointed. Emphasis on bitterly.
Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to find their morning tea, though it seemed all of them somehow forgot to butter croissants. More importantly, Ben and Shay were adorably in love and thrilled to be reunited. With Shay particularly wanting to stick around since their camp had such a nice vibe. She wisely praised everyone as she spoke about how great their loved ones are, while Sam shared she was glad that Mark didn’t get chosen to join them, given she needs him back with his tribe to get as far as possible. As everyone chatted with Shay, Sophie shared with us that she loves to be in control and is aligned with all of Sandra’s alpha males. Which you know is not going to sit well with her.
Ben and Sophie meanwhile caught up, with Sophie telling him that she spoke to Shay and assured her that she is aligned with Ben, Croc and Jordan, presumably so Shay can go back to the other tribe and form a complementary alliance. While Sophie was confident that nobody noticed how close they were as a foursome, Sandra was watching her like a hawk and yeah, Sandra is coming for you Sophie. As Sandra read her for being too showy with her alliances, it became clear that while Dave may be a sitting duck, Sophie may have successfully popped a bigger target on her back.
The tribes once again met up with Jonathan, this time for the immunity challenge, where they would face off releasing a gate and getting a boat before rowing out to a pontoon to collect blocks which they’d then use to solve an arch word puzzle. The tribes were neck and neck releasing their boat with Blood getting out to the slightest of leads. Well, until their boat started to zig-zag and Water overtook them. While the Blood tribe continued to stay in the game, they tried to spell Blood B-O-L-O-D. And then dropped half their arch, giving Water enough time to finish their arch and score immunity. Oh and then Jonathan gagged them with the information that while they are not voting anyone out, they are invited to watch in on their rival’s tribal council.
Back at camp the tribe quickly took stock of their loss while Sophie and Sam were very mindful of the fact they will have an audience. Everyone joked about Dave’s performance at the previous tribal council, asking him if there is anything he would like to say now so they put on a united front. Sophie, Ben, Croc and Jordan got together and quickly locked in their votes for Dave, with Sophie leading the charge to identify who exactly each of them will be voting for. With that Sophie quickly got Sam – who she trusts implicitly – and Jesse on board and everything looked done and dusted.
Dave meanwhile was quietly sitting by the fire, worried about how he’d be able to repair the damage he did last tribal council. He approached Croc to remind him how big of an asset he is in challenges, while Sophie went to Sandra and told her exactly how she would be voting at the upcoming tribal council. Which you know rubbed Sandra the wrong way, given Sophie was way too confident and as such, Sandra decided that now was the time to take her out and most importantly, keep her crown.
With that Sandra went to Michelle and told her that Sophie, Ben, Jordan and Croc all told her to vote for Dave with absolutely no discussion. As such, she decided it was time to get to work flipping the vote on Sophie instead. She quickly pulled Amy in on the plan, who vowed to get Jay, David, Jesse and Sam. Which made Sandra thrilled that Amy going to lock in the votes, meaning she remains under the radar while Amy gets the blame for the move. Amy quickly flipped Jay, who went to deal with Dave while she tried to get Jesse and Sam on board. Neither of whom were easily convinced, given they would be the ones that will get the blame from the alpha alliance. While Jesse did jump on board, Sam was still weary of Dave and as such, was unsure what would be the best for her game.
At tribal council Jonathan threw some shade at Dave for flipping out at the previous tribal council while he quickly tried to downplay things. Amy assured the Water audience that things should be a lot calmer this week before Sophie admitted that things changed last tribal council because Dave showed a side of himself that nobody had seen before. Croc then hilariously pointed out that David somehow managed to blindside himself and yet also saved himself.
Sophie opted to stop dancing around things, telling David that he is definitely a target tonight and while he makes a great contribution to the tribe, so does everyone else too. Amy spoke about the concern about David blowing up again if he stayed, while Sandra reminded everyone that they should all feel nervous and as such, it is foolish if they don’t fight for themselves every day. Like David did, despite its flaws.
Jordan spoke about focusing on the game in front of him and as such, Josh doesn’t concern him on the other side and he is currently fighting for his tribe. Sophie downplayed alliances, pointing out they are a united front and lied that factions haven’t formed. While Sandra just smirked. Amy shared that her vote tonight is about keeping the tribe united, which Sandra and Sophie agreed, while Sam spoke about it being a fresh start because the dynamics always change after tribal council.
With that, the tribe voted and while Sophie’s alphas all joined her to get rid of Dave, the rest of the tribe all voted to boot her from the game. Much to her ally’s shock, her sister’s heartache and the delight of those that cast her name. Sadly for them however, they had actually just voted her out of their tribe to be reunited with her sister on the Water tribe. And well, she was SALTY.
The next day Chrissy and Khanh were busy having a laugh while doing some chores while Sophie lay by the fire and slept off her rage. She awoke as Shay was doing some yoga and got to work trying to process the fact she was booted the night before. She opened up to Chrissy and Shay, talking about how Sam’s betrayal hurt more than anything before warning us that she will be getting revenge on her former tribemates’ families. Speaking of family, she was busy bossing her sister around to grab her clothes before KJ disappeared to confide in Chrissy that Sophie’s arrival has her nervous as she now has a target on her back.
And while Chrissy assured her it wouldn’t, she is 100% right to be scared of Sophie overreacting. She joined Nina and Mark in the shelter, telling Nina her mum definitely didn’t mastermind the blindside – she did – while Sam’s betrayal is the only thing that irked her, given they were so closely aligned on the other tribe.
Speaking of the Blood tribe, Jay was offering people a nut while Sandra woke up with a nut on her face. Aka my dream. Talk soon turned to the disappointment of Sophie’s survival, with Sandra speaking for all of us by complaining how annoying it is. Sam opened up about how enraged Sophie was by her betrayal, and vowed to get a message to Mark to guarantee she can’t pretend she is the victim. Sam opened up about the alliance of everyone but Ben, Croc and Jordan, explaining she jumped ship because she needed to destabilise the trio and make them realise they aren’t as safe as they thought they were. The trio meanwhile opted to expand their horizons, catching up with Sandra in the water who encouraged them to make some new relationships because their previous ones are gone and they will follow them out the door if they don’t.
The tribes met up with Jonathan by a lake where Sandra got to relieve a Heroes vs. Villains classic, Sumo at Sea. Aka another one on one challenge, where people battle on a podium to push the other one into the water, last one standing scoring a point for their tribe with the first to three jagging a bloody – sorry, bolody – cheese platter. Complete with CHEESES. First up were Jesse and Mark with Jesse immediately going with pancake pose so Mark couldn’t push him off while swapping some information about their loved ones before Jesse flipped and almost had Mark, who fought back and sent Jesse into the water.
Sophie and Sam were up next, working through their issues with pure, blinding rage. While Sophie brutally smacked Sam to the ground over and over, Sam held her own and eventually pushed Sophie into the water. Jordan and Josh were up next, hopefully to give us another wedgie grudge match with Jordan once again taking out victory, this time without Josh taking off his pants. Jordie and Ben were next to battle with Jordie talking smack before quickly demolishing Ben.
Closing out the show was once again Nina versus Sandra for the win with Chrissy calmly coaching Nina as the Blood tribe called Sandra mama. It was perfect. Like, Nina joked about getting grounded, while Sandra threatened to not buy her Christmas presents or to pay for her wedding and ugh, I love it. Ultimately Nina scored victory for the Water tribe, before Jonathan announced that they will not be enjoying their reward back at their camp but instead joining the Blood tribe back at their camp. And feasting on cheese in front of them. With Sophie just thrilled to rub their noses in it, which honestly feels like a bad choice when you need their family to save yourself, but go off sis.
Back at the Blood tribe all the loved ones caught up, hugging and crying and well, it was too pure to watch. Particularly since Sandra and Nina really couldn’t care less, like icons. As the Water tribe gathered around the platter and smashed their food, the Blood tribe looked on wistfully, heartbroken to not be able to eat anything. While Sophe just quietly pouted, giving Sophie deathies while snacking on grapes before she turned her attention to Croc, Ben and Jordan, who were now ignoring her. Not wanting to leave things lying, Sophie confronted Jordan about turning on her – aka making new allies to survive – while Chrissy and KJ quietly looked on, with KJ sharing that watching Sophie is like watching her entire game blow up and there’s nothing she can do about it.
Sophie then went one step further, pulling Sam aside to talk about how hurt she was by her betrayal while blaming Sam for making all her friends ignore her. Which has nothing to do with Sam, but again, go off sis. As such, Sam started catching up with different people on the Water tribe and straight up told them that Sophie is drama and as such, needs to go ASAP.
The tribes reconvened with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where each tribe would have to hold on to tethered logs with every time someone drops, the weight adds to everyone else’s with the last tribe standing taking out immunity. After 20 minutes was still hanging on and as such, Jonathan forced everyone to go down to one hand with Jordan, Amy and Michelle all dropping out in quick succession. Croc then dropped, pulled Sandra out with him before Jay also dropped, leaving Jesse, Sam, David and Ben to battle the entire Water tribe. Mel and Nina were first to go for the Water tribe before Jesse, Sam and David dropped, leaving Ben to fight for his entire tribe. Water then started to falter, leaving Khanh, Josh, Sophie and Alex – who’s back was still spasming – to fight it out for Water. Out of nowhere, Josh and Khanh dropped, leaving Sophie and Alex to fight for their tribe before they dropped out of nowhere, with Ben literally scoring immunity for the Blood tribe all by himself.
Back at camp Shay was super proud of Ben’s performance, despite it meaning she would be going to tribal council. Alex meanwhile was proud of himself for powering through the back pain to be one of the last two standing in the challenge. Mark, Jordie, Alex and Khanh were catching up, quickly locking in the vote against Sophie, knowing her sister will be completely understanding of the situation. Khanh took the plan to Chrissy and Josh who were thrilled by how straightforward things will be, while Khanh was particularly keen since it all meant he’d be able to hang on to his idol.
KJ meanwhile was busy watching everyone like a hawk, knowing Sophie is in trouble and as such, caught up with Nina, Alex, Shay, Mark and Jordie in the water to try and get them to give her a chance, given an easy vote will always be an easy vote. Whether it be today or in a week. Knowing that fighting too hard could hurt her, KJ then identified a bigger threat that would be a spicy enough blindside to entice them to keep her around. Namely, Khanh.
Nina was the first to verbalise it, suggesting that maybe they could split the vote between Khanh and someone else to blindside him, all while using Sophie as their distraction. Shay meanwhile offered to be the other half of the split, given she anticipates her idol will be flushed eventually anyway. Chrissy and Sophie soon joined the conversation, with them covering up the new plan and saying the vote will be a split between Sophie and Shay.
With that KJ got to work pretending to be disappointed as she chatted to Khanh about how there are bigger threats around than Sophie and as such, she thinks there could be better option. Despite being assured it is an easy vote, Khanh started to notice everyone chatting but started to get nervous about everyone lying and potentially targeting him instead as the better option. He first caught up with Nina and Mel, before assuring them that he believes them when they say he isn’t the target. He then moved on to Shay, who also wanted to keep him calm to avoid him playing his idol and her having to play hers as well.
At tribal council Shay admitted she was feeling very nervous given there were idols in play and a bunch of tension. Alex once again opened up about his back, talking about how the challenge exacerbated things and he is now starting to struggle with things mentally. Sophie opened up about the fear of being the last one in and as such, the likely first one out, though did admit she was worried how her presence would impact KJ more. KJ agreed that Sophie’s arrival has made her nervous because while she has loved having her around, she is worried that being a pair will make her a target also.
Khanh assured her that their games are so different, that she shouldn’t worry. He then opened up about how great bonding with Amy was at the reward before talking about how paranoid he is about going home tonight given his idol is so public. Everyone looked stressed as he talked, with Shay jumping in to agree that having an idol that everyone knows about does make you feel more paranoid given people have something to focus on. While Jordie countered that playing with the idols is a concern because the margin for error is so small.
As Alex was sent to vote, he started to well up before opening up to the tribe that he doesn’t think he can continue in the game anymore and as such, he wanted the tribe to put aside all their plans and instead vote him out. Mark immediately whispered to the rest of the tribe that he has no planon voting out Alex, while Alex shared how he has tried to downplay how much pain he is in and he doesn’t want anyone to feel bad and instead for them to put him out of his misery. While everyone started to question whether they should give him his wish, Mark and Jordie stood firm with the latter suggesting he should give it just one more day and see how he feels.
Ultimately, Alex listened to his body and sadly doubled down on needing to leave, with Jonathan calling off the vote and letting him quit as Khanh broke down in tears. While Alex sadly gave everyone a hug on his way out the door as Sophie cried, shocked to still be in the game.
When I caught up with Alex at Loser Lodge, I shared how disappointed I was to see him have to pull out. While h’s time on the show was overshadowed by his injury from almost day one, he built enough bonds to keep him in the game when he was at his weakest and as such, if he was 100%, I truly think he would have been unstoppable. But alas, an injury is an injury and as such, I toasted his successed, crossed everything for a future return and gave him an Alex Frosty Fruit for the road.
Say what you will about how simple these little numbers are – aka frozen juice – there is no denying they are delicious. Plus, with Alex’s late breaking exit, there was nothing else I could pull together. But again, delicious.
Alex Frosty Fruit Serves: 2 dear friends, each going three a piece.
Ingredients ¾ cup orange juice ¾ cup pineapple juice ½ cup passionfruit juice
Method Combine all the juices in a jug and stir to combine.
Pour into ice-block moulds and transfer to the freezer to set for 6 hours or so.
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were put through their paces on Snatch Game with Eureka, Aquaria and Monet slaying and Asia and The Vixen doing the worst mother daughter duo as Bey and Blue. Thankfully for Asia her Shape of Water inspired mermaid look saved her and sent a subpar Monique into the bottom two to be slaughter by The Vixen and sent from the competition.
The girls returned to the Werk Room to discover that Monique firmly blamed herself for not knowing the lyrics, which is good because at least she doesn’t make excuses. Asia was upset to lose her friend, while The Vixen was upset that literally everyone else wanted her to go airing her grievances like it was Festivus. As such, it didn’t take long for her fight with Eureka to start up again with Eureka confused about what happened and The Vixen dancing around just being upset. Thankfully it kind of fizzled out, allowing Monet to congratulate Aquaria on her win and then shade her by saying how shocking it was, and she thought it would have gone to her or Eureka.
Back in the Werk Room the next day, Kameron was proud to have made it as far as he did and was proud to have found his place in the competition. He then sat down to arm wrestle Asia, only to be interrupted by my dear friend Chad Michaels implying that this week’s challenge would involve Cher, bitch. Before we could get any details, Ru joined the queens for this week’s mini challenge where they were required to snap out of it and bait Ru until they have to take a big ol’ bitch slap. While all the queens – minus Eureka, TBH – were hilarious, they couldn’t compete with Asia. Though since Ru actually connected with her, it kind of gave her an advantage.
With that out of the way, Ru announced that this week’s maxi challenge would see them doing a live unauthorised musical based on Cher’s life, with each queen allocated a different era of her career. Kameron got ‘60s, Monet and The Vixen followed with the ‘70s, Aquaria will do disco, Asia snagged moviestar Eureka will be rockstar and Miz Cracker would serve comeback Cher.
Kameron was feeling anxious based on the fact she is a lip syncer not a singer, though based on the queens singing to themselves, she shouldn’t be. Ru arrived to chat to the girls, with Asia admitting that she also could not sing and felt this would be a lot of work since it isn’t her most iconic era – her victorious Oscar look begs to differ – and her only experience acting was bombing Snatch Game. On the flipside while Kameron wasn’t confident in her voice but seemed to have her head in the game and was ready to finally snag a win. Please do, my love. Monet was feeling confident based on the fact she is a trained Opera singer … though was concerned by the fact she is a baritone. She was planning to channel Carol Burnett’s version of Cher though, so I’m feeling confident. Eureka was concerned about singing live, Mix Cracker concerned Ru when suggesting making age jokes and The Vixen was semi-confident based on lip syncing to Cher previously, which TBH, hasn’t everybody? She then told Ru that everyone hates her and I am over listening to it. Aquaria then gave everyone a laugh, confident in her five notes and giving Ru a teaser. As soon as Ru left, Cracker asked her if she felt nervous after seeing Ru … which she was not. Though she probs should be.
The queens arrived to rehearse on the mainstage and were met by my frenemy Todrick Hall. Kameron struggled with singing live and couldn’t get out of his head, The Vixen nailed her choreography but also struggled with singing while Cracker was overwhelmed by her requirement to dance with a microphone timed to the beat. Thankfully for all of them Asia was worse, forgetting her lyrics and not channeling Cher at all. Well, until Eureka who spent the time negotiating to only focus on choreography and not sing until she gets it. She then shared a story where her dad asked her to sing for his friends as a kid, got nervous, stopped and it lead to an altercation and while I’m confused, seemed extremely sad.
Elimination day rolled around with Aquaria rolling her make-up station closer to the other queens to try and solidify their friendships. Seeing that Eureka was still feeling down, Monet pulled her aside to try and get her head in the game. The queens then threw some shade and kikkied before Kameron asked then all to fall and trip and give her a win. Miz then shared a heartbreaking story from her childhood when they were desperately poor and lived off shiners, unlabelled cans, and would have to guess if dinner would be food or condiment. Asia pulled The Vixen aside to see if they could work through her issues, with her expertly identifying where she is coming from and helping her out. And now I want to watch a spin-off where they hang out and Asia coaches her to victory in an All Stars. It’s almost like she has experience dealing with someone that’s extremely talented but gets into their head and takes it out on others? Off topic, her daughter is Phi Phi. Just remember.
Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Andrew Rannells and Billy Eichner for the first and last performance of Cher: The Unauthorised Rusical. Kameron kicked things off extremely strongly, followed by Monet who slayed the performance further exacerbated by The Vixen struggling to match her. Aquaria was ok as the disco queen, though looked a lot better when Asia performed. Eureka had chutzpah but struggled with the notes while Cracker brought down the house before the queens united for the finale, further highlighting the fact Kameron had Cher down.
While it honestly isn’t just my thirst speaking, Kameron also looked stunning on the runway while Monet was body positive, though he looked just seemed to be missing something. The Vixen looked beautiful in her jagged cardboard number, Aquaria showed up this year’s Met Gala attendees and Asia channeled Bianca Del Rio in her clown look. Eureka looked like a disco ball and I was confused by Cracker, but I kind of loved it. The judges loved Kameron’s look and performance, feeling like she was the most ‘Cher’ of the queens. Michelle and Carson felt let down by the nipple covers and tape in Monet’s look, but loved her performance. Everyone loved The Vixen’s runway, though thought her performance was ok but was nothing like Cher. They loved Aquaria’s look but felt her performance was mixed. Asia’s look was ok, though hated her performance. Michelle hated Eureka’s make-up – note, she hates stripes as well as dots … RIP Dusty – and the judges felt like while she started off slowly, her performance warmed up well. The judges liked everything Cracker did but I don’t feel they loved it.
Poor Monet just missed out on victory with my dear love Kameron finally taking out her first win of the season. Eureka and Cracker were declared safe, before Aquaria narrowly avoided the bottom two leaving Asia and The Vixen to lip sync. To Deee-Lite and NOT CHER, BITCH. While both queens slayed said non-Cher lip sync, Asia was saved (or appeared to be) by her superior track record and The Vixen was tearfully sent from the competition.
Given the fact that both The Vixen and I are passionate about what we believe in and like to stand up for said beliefs, we’re the best of friends despite often feuding for weeks after screaming at each other. While you may love her or hate her, we’ve all been gagging for some drama and my girl has brought it week after week and made things exciting, whilst also providing some killer, smart drag. As such, I held her close while she sobbed about the lost opportunity and toasted her performance with a The Sexon the Beach.
Is the name clunky? Sure. But fuck my drag if it isn’t damned near perfection. A little bit sweet, a little tart and packing a killer punch, it is everything The Vixen is and more.
The Sexon the Beach Serves: 1
Ingredients 2 shots vodka ½ shot peach liqueur 2 shots orange juice 2 shots cranberry juice orange slices and maraschino cherries, to garnish
Method Fill a highball with ice.
Top with the ingredients.
Garnish with a slice of orange and a maraschino cherry.
Previously on Survivor, new Levu was divided two-two after Alan was idoled from the game, while dinner-plate nips Cole replaces Patrick’s place in Lauren’s heart, driving her mental with his poor manners. Meanwhile over at new Soko, Ryan was caught between his OG ally Ali and her newer ally Chrissy, siding with the latter to send Roark from the game.
Back at camp Ali confronted Ryan about what happened and asked why he never told her about the vote, upset as she would have been willing to take out Roark. While he admitted that he was concerned about how close she and Roark had become, she got emotional and couldn’t see any logic. This also upset Ryan who had hoped that he’d be able to work with Ali into the future, though that was clearly out of the picture.
The next day, Mike the dick doctor became the provider at Yawa … and boy was he proud of himself. Tragically he then dropped his entire haul in the fire – like a combination of Sandra’sfirst two sabotage attempts – though was kind enough to give everyone some of his charred fish. Ben was then compared this to Cole, who had cooked a couple of his larger fish and not shared them. This coupled with the fact Lauren tried – and failed – to explain why they needed to share to better the team, started putting more nails in his rapidly growing coffin. Cole then went for a walk to calm down with Jessica, leaving Mike, Ben and Lauren to strategise, talk smack and align to take them out.
My main man Jiffy Pop returned for a pizza reward – which is hopefully for Snickers, for grumpy Cole – where the tribes were required to balance their ball with a big, hard rod and release a boat before rowing out and shooting their loadballs at a target. Soko got out to an early lead, thanks to JP and Ali’s ball-handling skills, quickly getting out to their boat before the others complete the course. That is until Chrissy forgot to undo the second knot, resulting in Yawa catching up. Ben and JP both struggled to aim their balls, allowing Levu to catch-up just as they each hit their first. Mother nature then decided to make it a little tougher, whipping the waves up and making the targets even harder to hit … though JP and Ben prevailed, securing reward for Yawa and Soko.
We then got a killer crotch shot as JP exited, though sadly he was still wearing pants. Sigh.
Soko were thrilled to return to camp with their pizzas thanks to JP’s physical prowess. That, obviously, made Ryan nervous given the merge is imminent. Add to that the fact he is quiet and doesn’t really bother talking about strategy made things seem safer for Ali. Meanwhile over at the losing Levu, Ashley and Devon solidified their alliance and debated whether they felt Joe or Desi would be willing to go for rocks for the other. Devon then took Joe for a walk, allowing Ashley to get to work on Desi who in fact, was more than willing to get rid of Joe as she know his loyalty is all on his terms. He then found the idol despite being babysat, this time without anyone – with a huge fucking mouth (swoon) – knowing.
Meanwhile over at Yawa, Cole started to get the shakes before passing out while Mike was offering him worms. Doctor Mike and nurse Jessica went straight into action, with Jessica cooking up her portion of rice to give him sustenance. While it made her realise how much she wanted to keep him in the game, Mike and Ben saw it as a liability, vowing to take him out if they head to the next tribal.
With all targets identified, Jeff returned for immunity where the tribes would all have to suspend a disc using four ropes … and then spell immunity vertically on said disc using blocks, from the bottom – kween – to the top. RIP Joe Del Campo. Levu and Yawa both appeared extremely strong, while poor Soko struggled and restarted after only a couple of blocks. Then out of nowhere Levu dropped, followed again by Soko … and then Yawa as they were two steps from immunity. Levu and Soko then battled it out for immunity before Yawa came out from behind – my favourite – with a new strategy, overtaking the others and taking out immunity as Soko dropped again and Levu snatched second place.
Back at camp, JP was confident that Ali would be the next one out the door while Ryan was still questioning whether it was better to take out JP, the man that has literally carried him through a challenge. Knowing that Ali is key to his plan working, he went and apologised to her and to try convince her to take out JP. That was obviously an easy task, with Ali offering to talk to Chrissy about getting JP out … which is probably the worst plan for them, given she trusts Ryan and not Ali. Chrissy then pulled Ryan aside to discuss who was the better option, with them only vowing allegiance to each other before heading off to tribal.
They arrived to some light shade from Jeff before Ryan and Ali spoke about getting past their post-last tribal drama. JP then gave a smug look, either meaning he knows something we don’t or is heading for a downfall. Jeff then called him out for being hella laid back, and acknowledging why he could be voted out rather than why he shouldn’t. Jeff gave him a backhanded compliment – dude and dem nips, I clearly like nips, really is made from granite – before he acknowledged that this was a wake-up call and he needs to be more social. While I’d argue her needs to be more naked, potato, po-tar-toe. They then went to vote where once again, Ryan flipped on Ali … and sent her from the game and one of the biggest physical threats to the merge.
Given Al’s career as a celebrity assistant, it should come as no shock that we’ve known each other for years. On account of my many, legitimate celebrity friendships, remember? While I won’t spill on her employer – they’re one of my best friends, obvi – I will say that Ali is the sweetest and like Roark, will dominate the next Second Chances. Particularly if she lives on a diet of only my Ali Pastelliott Chicken Tacos until then.
Spicy and sweet, these babies go a long way in proving the importance of pineapple in cooking. I mean, why they get so much hate? Like iceberg lettuce, they aren’t classy, but in the right place are true perfection. And the right place is here with the smoky chicken tacos.
Ali Pastelliott Chicken Tacos Serves: 6.
Ingredients olive oil 1 onion, diced 3 garlic cloves, minced 500g chicken mince 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 tsp hot paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp coriander 1 tsp dried oregano 1 orange, juiced 1 cup chicken stock 200g pineapple chunks 2 chipotle chillies in adobo, roughly chopped 12 corn tortillas iceberg lettuce, shredded shredded cheese, ladies choice … you being the lady, obvi 2 avocados, mashed coriander, to taste sour cream, to taste
Heat a good lug of oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and sweat the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes, or until soft, fragrant and sweet. Add the chicken, paprikas, cumin, coriander and oregano and cook, breaking up with the wooden spoon, for a couple of minutes, or until cooked through. Add the juice, stock, pineapple and chillies, bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and cook until reduced.
When you’re ready to devour, heat the tortillas in a hot, dry frying pan, thirty seconds per side, top with lettuce, chicken mixture, cheese, avocado, a sprinkle of coriander and dollop with sour cream. Devour.
There are no prizes for people that guessed HRC – my fave triple-barrel – is the culmination of Amer-she-can Week. I mean, it was a week celebrating her historic nomination AND independence day after all.
But I was here on official duties – and again, no prizes if you guessed … because I’m too selfish/ a hoarder and wouldn’t give them out if I had any – I’m taking over from Nigella the wonder dog as HRC’s campaign manager AND, wait for it, will be appointed her Chief of Staff after she wins the election in November.
Hizza, Annelie and I have long been friends, having met in Yale in the ‘70s. Annelie was helping me run a scam while I worked as the Executive Vice Dean Chancellor – Hizza knew something odd was up, discovered the scam and got us sent to prison.
While you would think that going back to prison would be the worst, I knew that we’d spend our lives in and out of jail and had prepared for my return by stashing cigarettes around all prisons I had attending thus far, to use as a bartering tool if and when I returned – yes people, I am the person that inspired the character of Vee in OITNB.
Fun fact, I also faked my death by getting run over during an escape too. THIS IS NOT MY REAL NAME.
Anyway, back to Hiz.
We fully expected to go to priz again, so were more impressed by the fact that we were brought down by someone smarter than us and sought her out upon our releases. She was kind enough to take pity on those two junkie grifters she caught all those years before.
Seriously – wouldn’t my life make a killer movie on Lifetime?
Anyway, HRC saw our intelligence shine through our oft scummy behaviour and called upon us to assist in vetting and selecting most of Billy’s high-level positions, running her Senate campaign in the early noughties and acting as unofficial advisors during her time as Secretary of State.
Since we’ve been busy – what with her campaigning and me experiencing resurgent fame – it has been hard to be able to have a physical catch up. Thankfully when I got the call to replace Nigella, I quickly cleared my schedule and am ready to focus on the campaign.
But don’t worry guys, I’ll be able to keep up this anthropological endeavour thanks to time-travel!
Anywho, HRC has this renewed energy after finally securing the nomination and we spent our cook-up plotting the best way to bring down Trump – other than simply letting his mouth end his chances, obviously – and her preferred look for the sequel Clinton White House.
So given the breadth of important topics we had to cover, I needed to make something hearty enough to fuel our beautiful minds and my Hickory Clinton Smoked Ribs are the only thing worthy of the honour.
While yes HRC had requested an international take on the celebratory week, I had to go with something all American for the next POTUS!
Smoky, sweet and a just damn delicious, the pork just falls of this slow-cooked ribs and into your salivating mouth. Seriously, these are amazing and smoking liquid is my new favourite thing.
You get smoked flavouring, you get smoked flavouring – EVERYONE GETS SMOKED FLAVOURING.
Anyway, happy Fourth of July / Amer-she-can Week – you’ll be seeing me whispering in HRC’s ear for the next few months like a hybrid of Gary and Amy. Enjoy!
Hickory Clinton Smoked Ribs Serves: 4-6, dependent on sides and greed.
Dry rub 2 tbsp ground fennel seeds
5 cloves, ground
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tbsp smoked paprika
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
2 sprigs rosemary, leaves removed
5 cloves garlic, crushed
Salt and pepper, to season
BBQ sauce ½ cup ketchup
1 tsp hot sauce
¼ cup molasses
3 tbsp apple juice
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp sage leaves, finely chopped
1 tbsp hickory smoking liquid
Method Get out your glorious ribs and baste them on either sides with the smoking liquid, cover and refrigerate for about an hour.
Preheat the oven to 160°C.
Combine all the ingredients for the dry rub, remove the ribs from the fridge and rub the spices into the ribs – again on both sides. Spread some rosemary on the base of a large baking tray that will just fit the ribs and pour over the orange juice and any of the remaining hickory smoke you used the basting. Yes, it seems like a lot but I want the smoke to really hit me. Plus … it seems stronger before the cooking.
Anyway, cover the baking tray tightly with a couple of layers of foil – really tightly – and bake in the oven for about 4 hours. You’ll know they are done when you try and lift the rack and they start to fall apart and make you salivate.
While the ribs are making your kitchen smell amazing, get to work on the BBQ sauce – which is super difficult – by combining all of the ingredients in a measuring jug.
When your ribs are done, remove from the oven and turn on the grill. Baste the ribs, liberally, with some barbecue sauce and grill – watching the entire time to avoid setting off the fire alarm and getting a massive fine – for about ten minutes or until they are brown, caramelly and sticky.
Devour with chips and slaw and any extra barbecue sauce.