Previously on All Stars the iconic Jushmine Masters was tragically felled by her inability to prepare a routine and became the first boot. She was followed out the door by a teary, unloved-by-Gia Farrah before the aforementioned Gia once again met her Achilles heel in Snatch Game and the large and in charge, chunky yet funky and totally lovable Latrice Royale became the fourth person sent from the competition. After Monet and Manila slayed the roast and the remaining four queens landed in the bottom, both won the fifth lip sync and everyone was left gagged as All Stars rules were suspended, no one was eliminated and the four eliminated queens returned.
So we’re back at the start, I guess?
We opened things with a showdown in the Werk Room between the six competing queens and the four eliminated queens before the producers signaled that they were allowed to be happy and talk. The girls then sat down – hopefully not where Monique gooped – with Farrah confirming that Ru has promised them a shot at getting back at the competition. Which didn’t really go down well with Trinity, since it was like starting from scratch. As the girls kiki-ed Jasmine stood by her choice not to prepare a variety show performance and damn, I still love her. Farrah was still sad to have been eliminated by her friend Valentina, but also that she didn’t get a decent return on investment for the costumes she brought.
The queens filled the fallen queens in on the roast challenge before Valentina that both Monet and Manila would have eliminated Valentina had all star rules not been suspended. True to form Valentina still felt she was hilarious in the roast and that despite the judges hating her, she was delightful and that is the reality she chooses to accept. Which I totally live for. Latrice pivoted back to turning on the queens that eliminated them, calling Monique’s choice to eliminate her shady as she was keeping her friend. Which both Monique and Monet felt was wrong, since Monet knows that if her report card was busted, she would have been cut. And while Latrice is grumpy, she did shade the travesty of All Stars 1 and that is something I will always support.
The full cast returned to the Werk Room the next day with Trinity admitting that while she hates being back at the beginning her heart is full. Wait, no, she has the shits and doesn’t want to deal with Gia stirring the pot. Farrah too had zero time for poor Gia. While the queens anxiously waited to find out what the hell Alexis Michelle the producer has in store for them, Ru arrived for a guided meditation before explaining that this season’s comeback challenge would be a lip sync battle. The four eliminated queens each got to select a current queen to lip sync against, with the winner staying in the competition and the loser exiting the competition for good. Though Manila and Monet are safe as a reward for winning the last episode.
With that the shell shocked queens spread out to discuss the twist with Monet realising that she and Manila could easily find themselves in the new top six with four different queens. Not that Trinity or Naomi think that will happen. Meanwhile Valentina and Farrah decided to clear the air about the latter’s elimination, as Farrah didn’t think she was the worse. Tragically Valentina disagreed and brutally admitted that she doesn’t regret the decision and Farrah is totally going to pick her to try and take her spot. Monique was concerned that Latrice would be picking her out of revenge too, while Latrice was not scared about facing off against any of the queens. Trinity said she was confident about the lip syncs, which Gia wasn’t buying.
Talk turned to who Latrice would be picking – since she gets to pick first – with her saying she was undecided about selecting Monique when she is clearly picking Monique. Gia went to see how terrified Naomi is, with the leg queen admitting she is nervous but is also ready to fight. They then had a nice chat about Gia lacking confidence as a female drag performer and struggling to find the line between performance and life without doubting either. Latrice checked in with Jasmine who was getting ready to lip sync with the scrap performer, Trinity gave Farrah a pep talk and Manila and Monet were living it up, watching the drama unfold.
Naomi then made prison jokes about Latrice and it was glorious.
With that Ru and Michelle were joined on the panel with both Carson and Ross as they witnessed a runway clearly set up for the upcoming lip syncs, rather than fashion. Though that being said, Farrah, Gia and Naomi looked gorgeous, though Gia’s reveal was almost as obvious as Trinity’s. Oh and Manila and Monet looked like drunk waspy women at the races and I am here for it. As I am with Ru’s hyper commentary.
We then finally got down to business and discovered that Jasmine was left to lip sync against Trinity before we were gagged by the Pit Crew’s boxes and damn any one of them would choke me with their thighs. In any event, Trinity took a peek inside box three and learnt they’d be lip syncing to Peanut Butter. Like Chi Chi last season, Jasmine appeared to be going through the motions and not wanting to take someone else’s place in the competition. Trinity learnt from the tragedy of season 9’s finale, not leaving anything to chance, shaking her arse, out twerking Jasmine and ultimately securing her safety and sending Jasmine out go the competition for good.
We then learnt that Farrah chose to face off against Valentina, before the pit crew returned to sit on my face. Wait no, that was my fantasy – they returned so Valentina could pick a song, with the Latina opting for Sean’s box meaning she and Farrah would face off over Kitty Girl. Thankfully this lip sync seemed more evenly matched, with both queens having a fire to earn slash keep their place in the competition. Valentina hit every lyric and crawled around the stage, while Farrah was channeling her inner 90s/00s pop diva. If it wasn’t for Valentina’s turn into comedy at the end it would have been difficult to split, however once again Valentina came out on top and poor Farrah was eliminated for good.
As expected – since Latrice was always picking Monique – Gia faced off against Naomi, who opted to go deep into Bryce’s box and got Adrenaline. Which Gia was ready to bring in the name of Edwards, though Naomi was confident she would not be going down without a fight. And damn, did they both bring it. Naomi was sexy, sultry and performing full on backbends while hitting every damn lyric and then mopping the floor with her cooch. Gia was giving high energy, Beyond Belief worthy dance moves and slayed the hell out of the song, which made it so much harder to bear when Ru handed a well earned victory to Naomi, rather than a double win.
With that we arrived at the final pairing where Latrice and Monique got to face off to box number three’s – something something I want his box in my face, obvi – Sissy That Walk. Like Naomi vs. Gia, both Latrice and Monique were out for blood and desperate to win. Latrice was pounding her pussy into the runway, Monique’s wig managed to stay on despite a flurry of head flicks. Wait no, they BOTH opted to do a patented Roxxxy Andrews wig reveal, hit every damn lyric and worked every inch of the runway. Which off course left Ru with no other option than to hand a double victory, returning Latrice to the competition and keeping Monique to fight another day.
Thankfully Raven had flagged that I may want to dig further into All Stars 1 this week, so I called Shannel up and she was happy to come watch the episode with me. And to receive me apology. Given the shade I have thrown about Chad carrying her to the top four of All Stars 1, I understand why she was reticent, per se, however I never meant my shadiness to take away from the fact that she is a killer queen and I would live for her to come back for a third go and not have to be in Chad’s shadow.
Plus – in the words of Latrice, we don’t talk about All Stars 1.
Given that explanation she was glad to reconnect as friends and we had a delightful time watching the episode. Though maybe our renewed friendship has something to do with the copious amounts of Limonshannello we downed.
You know I have a passion for alcohol – addiction, whatever – and as such, should be a wealth of knowledge for all things booze. But I am not, and I didn’t realise that limoncello is something one could simply throw together until browsing lemon recipes online. After said discovery I threw it together and TBH my life was changed for the better.
So be the change you want to see in the world, you know? Enjoy!
3 cups vodka
1 cup caster sugar
1 ¾ cups water
Place the lemons in a saucepan, cover with boiling water and leave to soak for a couple of hours. Drain, pat dry and finely grate the zest. Combine the zest and vodka in a jug and leave to rest while you work on the syrup.
Speaking of which, place the sugar and water in a saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring for five minutes, or until well combined. Crank heat to high, bring to the boil and leave to rollick – if that is not a thing, it is now – for three minutes, or until thick. Set aside and allow to cool completely.
Once cool, combine the syrup and vodka and pour into sterilized, airtight bottles. Seal and keep in a cool, dark place to develop for a month, shaking occasionally.
When you’re ready to down, drain the limoncello through a fine sieve to get rid of any remaining rind and down, giddily.