After participating in the most ambitious – Ru’s words, not mine … but totally correct – final performance challenge ever staged, the final four arrived on the runway to learn that the booted queens, not Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross would decide the final two.
Following BeBe and Kennedy’s turn facing the jury, it was time for dear Shangela … who felt like – of course – Ned Stark, walking up to his death. Running the numbers, things weren’t looking good with three queens on the jury because she sent them there, two that felt they were eliminated too early and then DeLa who eliminated herself yet still had to be in every damn episode anyway and probably regretted quitting.
Chi Chi kicked off the interview by asking how she felt with them deciding who made it to the top two, with Shangela admitting that she was nervous people may hold a grudge. Looking at you, Thorgy! Morgan asked why it was now her time, given it is her third attempt at the crown. She shared about how much she learnt after those seasons and this is her graduation night, much to the delight of Aja and Thorgy. After a halleloo, she bid them adieu with DeLa and Milk’s solemn faces filling me with dread that DeLa’s hat would contribute to Shangela’s red wedding.
Tragically my concerns were well placed as the three-peat only managed one point to progress to the final two, shockingly – and this is the true gag of the season – from the bitterest of Bettys, Thorgy Thor. And with that a fairytale was crushed and Shangela Laquifa Wadley Targaryen Lannister Stark Bo’nina Brown Flowers was robbed of a chance to fight for the crown and finished in third place.
Yes, he killer track record and her growth from first boot, to rootable underdog and finally frontrunner earns her third place outright. In my heart anyway.
While I was flipping out and burning down the Werk Room – why do you think they’re using a new one for season 10? – when she arrived backstage, she was able to calm me down and reiterate that just being there and getting Ru’s approval felt like a graduation. With that, the lovely second alternate – to quote her mama, Alyssa – held me tight and we split a tub of Shangelato while I sobbed silently.
A little salty, a whole lot sweet and velvety smooth, this is the best way to wash the bitter taste of her loss out of your mouth. Side note: enough with the twists Ru, this isn’t Survivor and the best woman should always win.
Combine the double cream, condensed milk, vanilla extract and caramel in the bowl of a stand mixer, and whisk on low until soft peaks form.
Transfer to a container and freeze overnight.
The next day, remove it from the freezer and devour to consume your heartache.