As if the excitement of my triumphant return wasn’t enough, like Shangela Australian Survivor is also back back back again!

While I wasn’t deemed enough of a champion to make the cast – or more likely deemed too much of a champion – JLP did ask me to join him in Fiji to provide this year’s contestants with my usual brand of culinary comfort.

Though I was warned to tone down my lust for the male contestants after Locky. Side note: I was invited to arrive on day two, conveniently after the repeat of the challenge that inspired his glorious nude scene.

Anyway, I’ve gone off on a worse tangent than Jericho trying to pull together a metaphor at tribal council. Sooooo … something something, drowned cat in the waves.

Who will be joining me tomorrow as the first boot?

Image source: Nigel Wright / TEN.

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