If you couldn’t tell from my cryptic title which was inspired by Toto, in that I fit way too many syllables in the sentence BUT, my dear Nico is making a triumphant return to our screens for Survivor South Africa. And he’s bringing with him some former castaways to boot.
The aforementioned – well, referenced – outcasts.
Not only are Nico and Co. back, but they’re rolling out Australian Survivor style four times a week and while I’d like to assure you I’ll be able to keep up, we know I can’t make that promise. Particularly since we’re Drag Race-a-palooza season. Instead, I promise to try – the most hollow of commitments – and will roll out sass as consistently as I can.
Will Chappies strip off again and go all the way (to the end)? Will Tania still charm her way through chatting about weed? Will Dante still be a zaddy with a fresh haircut? And will Seamus survive a tribal council?
The only one certainty we have is that Palesa will be an icon!
Drag Race has oft been referred to by RuPaul herself as the Olympics of Drag, so it was only a matter of time before the franchises crossed-over for the ultimate, international battle royale.
That being said, I would argue that the iconic band Dragometry also inspired RuPaul to battle the World, but I’ve digressed. Mainly so I could include this majesty …
Nine queens from across the globe – including a dang HOST – will descend on sunny ol’ England to face off to take the inaugural global crown back to their country.
More importantly, it will give us the chance to continue some time honoured traditions throughout the franchise. Will Cheryl continue her week-to-week mediocrity? Will the artist formerly known as Monique be brown cow stunning? Will Jimbo rock an epic breastplate? And will Juju make it to the end yet again (only to place 2nd to 4th)?
No matter what happens, I know we’re in for an epic season. And when it is done, we will definitely feel – dare I say it – much betta!
Who will be the first one to go? Check back next week (remember, I’m no longer a spoil sport) to find out. Well, if you somehow miss the episode.
I’m back, back, back, back, back again, wait, that’s been done too.
In any event, as the sun sets on Down Under, it rises – ugh, if you can’t beat it, join it – on All Stars 6 and honestly, if Sonique’s entry line is anything to go by, we’re in for a gooooood season. Like, best since All Stars 2 good. No shade to 3, 4 or 5, obviously, since I just love all the dolls.
More queens? Check. More third chances? Check. More iconic All Stars ready to slay the competition? Check.
I may not be able to call them Jiggly, but I am ready for them to ChaCha their way out of the Boxx and back into my heart. Note to producers, this would have worked a lot better if Monique was on the cast. Like she deserves.
But facts are facts world, All Stars is back and once again, we’ll be here week in, week out, to provide culinary comfort to the dolls.
Whether you, they or Ru like it. Okuuuuuur? Oh, did I mention, come on All Stars 6, let’s get sickening!
Despite lacking a cast photo dotted with gorgeous men riddled in speedos which tempted my involvement last season, I quickly jumped at the chance to join Nico and the cast on the Wild Coast for Immunity Island.
I mean, there may not be the promise of speedos but in a pandemic, any travel is good travel. And last season’s cast photo lives rent-free in my mind.
Plus, I was so excited for a new season of Survivor that I was half-way through quarantine by the time I even spoke to Nico.
Who will be booted from the game with only culinary comfort first? Check back next week, since I’m trying to be spoilery friendly. But you know, watch the episode as soon as it drops on 10 Play at 9AM (AEDT) in honour of them keeping us fed in Australia!
¡Sorpresa! Con Drag Race Down Under está llegando a su fin y All Stars 6 aún faltan unas semanas, decidí poner a prueba mi español básico en honor a Drag Race Spain.
Pero seamos honestos, las habilidades no son tan buenas, así que lo estamos haciendo al estilo Adam Sandler y Téa Leoni y te estaremos sirviendo Spanglish.
Y by that, more English. Pero tu know what I mean, right?
In any event, I’ve always felt bad that Drag Race Thailand and Holland could never be added to the roster pero with the pandemic, I figured I have more time to dedicate to the iconic international queens. Subtitles be damned.
With that, I jumped on a private jet, flew over to Spain and joined my dear friends Supremme de Luxe, Ana Locking and my lovers, the Javiers, and vowed to celebrate their queens.
Jon Kortajarena appearing in the premiere may or may not have been a deciding factor.
Siéntese, abróchese el cinturón y prepárese para el viaje de nuestras vidas … I hope Jon says to me one day soon!
Given the trauma I have experienced in the last week with Australian and OG brand Survivor – ILYSM Phoebe, Flick and Ethan – and the realisation that maybe I was the monster in my history with Serena ChaCha, I yearned for a little home grown love.
And, you know, someone that I have only ever done good deeds for.
As such, I was thrilled that my dearest Keisha Castle-Hughes was free for a date this week.
I don’t want to spoil the fun, but I played a huge role in getting her where she is today and as such, she unironically loves and supports me. And doesn’t even question whether I’m a good person or not.
What do I make for someone that only sees the best of me (because I’ve hidden my worst qualities like they are the tell tale heart)?
After what feels like an eternity, Ru, Michelle, Carson and Ross are finally making their triumphant return for another season of Drag Race.
Sure, I complained about the fatigue of going through back-to-back-to-back-to-back seasons in the past, but the off season after RuPaul’s Drag Race UK has been difficult to deal with. Mainly because that was so damn good. Or …
… if you will.
So sit back, buckle in and prepare for another season of hijinxs, hilarity and maybe haute couture, though only because I can’t think of any other h words.
Other than hot and horny which describes both Dahlia Sin and Jackie Cox out of drag and the way they make me feel.
So come on through season (1)2, let’s get sickening. And don’t fuck it up. Please. UK has set the bar high.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of our friendship. That started when I was a top’s port, just a tiny shit. My mate was a mighty sailing man, this stripper brave and sure but of his five co-stars that met me, only one saw me as more than a whore.
More than a whore.
That co-star, was my love Dawn Wells.
While she misunderstood and thought I didn’t consent when the *weather* started getting rough in our relationship – this tiny ship loved to get tossed – I admired her courage to stand up for this minnow, that she believed to be lost.
Believed to be lost.
While my relationship with the unnamed – that’s the hint – co-star fizzled out to a natural end, Dawn’s love and support was uncharted in my life in the ‘60s, and as such, we became the firmest of friends.
What do I make for my dear friend when she ventures here, on Benigan’s – or GilliBen’s, who knows – Isle?
Normally I wait longer than a week before celebrating a newly crowned Oscar winner, but I just wan’t wait and as such, my dear Taika Waititi is dropping by … THIS WEEK.
I’ve known Taika for years, with his big break actually being based on our love story. Yes, as you probably could have guessed, I am the Shark of Eagle vs. Shark fame. While our relationship fizzled out, our love will always remain and we’ve slowly worked our way back to being the closest of friends.
Fun fact: What We Do in the Shadows was also the name of our sex tape.
What do I make that is worthy of our friendship, our highly passionate former relationship and most importantly, congratulating him on being a newly minted Oscar winner?
Like my dear Phil Collins, I can feel it. Coming in the air tonight. And oh lord, I am excited. It may seem trivial, but 20 former Survivor champions – most, icons of the game – return to find out who is the best of the best. While the answer is obviously Sandra, or Parvati, depending on what mood I may be in at the time, they will clash with 18 fellow victors. And my feelings are akin to what I imagine the people of Panem were feeling ahead of the 75th Hunger Games. Though with less literal death.