Whale ridin’ the sand snake

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Given the trauma I have experienced in the last week with Australian and OG brand Survivor – ILYSM Phoebe, Flick and Ethan – and the realisation that maybe I was the monster in my history with Serena ChaCha, I yearned for a little home grown love.

And, you know, someone that I have only ever done good deeds for.

As such, I was thrilled that my dearest Keisha Castle-Hughes was free for a date this week.

I don’t want to spoil the fun, but I played a huge role in getting her where she is today and as such, she unironically loves and supports me. And doesn’t even question whether I’m a good person or not.

What do I make for someone that only sees the best of me (because I’ve hidden my worst qualities like they are the tell tale heart)?

Image source: Unknown.

 

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All the rest

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of our friendship. That started when I was a top’s port, just a tiny shit. My mate was a mighty sailing man, this stripper brave and sure but of his five co-stars that met me, only one saw me as more than a whore.

More than a whore.

That co-star, was my love Dawn Wells.

While she misunderstood and thought I didn’t consent when the *weather* started getting rough in our relationship – this tiny ship loved to get tossed – I admired her courage to stand up for this minnow, that she believed to be lost.

Believed to be lost.

While my relationship with the unnamed – that’s the hint – co-star fizzled out to a natural end, Dawn’s love and support was uncharted in my life in the ‘60s, and as such, we became the firmest of friends.

What do I make for my dear friend when she ventures here, on Benigan’s – or GilliBen’s, who knows – Isle?

Image source: Gilligan’s Island / CBS.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Hunt for the Winning-people

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Normally I wait longer than a week before celebrating a newly crowned Oscar winner, but I just wan’t wait and as such, my dear Taika Waititi is dropping by … THIS WEEK.

I’ve known Taika for years, with his big break actually being based on our love story. Yes, as you probably could have guessed, I am the Shark of Eagle vs. Shark fame. While our relationship fizzled out, our love will always remain and we’ve slowly worked our way back to being the closest of friends.

Fun fact: What We Do in the Shadows was also the name of our sex tape.

What do I make that is worthy of our friendship, our highly passionate former relationship and most importantly, congratulating him on being a newly minted Oscar winner?

Image source: Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Battle Royale

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor, Survivor: Winners at War

Like my dear Phil Collins, I can feel it. Coming in the air tonight. And oh lord, I am excited. It may seem trivial, but 20 former Survivor champions – most, icons of the game – return to find out who is the best of the best. 

While the answer is obviously Sandra, or Parvati, depending on what mood I may be in at the time, they will clash with 18 fellow victors. And my feelings are akin to what I imagine the people of Panem were feeling ahead of the 75th Hunger Games. Though with less literal death.

Who out of Adam, Amber, Ben, Danni, Denise, Ethan, Jeremy, Kim, Michele, Natalie, Nick, Parv, Rob – yep, I’m totally doing this – Sarah, Sophie, Tony, Tyson, Wendell or Yul will join Sandra as a two-time victor? Or will the icon go three from four?

And more importantly, who will be the first person to have a quick snack with me – despite me being the whole, damn meal – on their way to the soon to be defunct Edge of Extinction?

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

The Tide Is High

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

With the Oscars done and dusted for another year, and me one step closer to my winning year – remember, I invented time travel and know when I am winning one – and honestly, the emotional highs and lows of the season have my heart feeling like glass.

As such, to eb the rising tide of my emotions, I left a message with my dear Debbie Harry and told her to call me back, post haste.

Picture this, it wasn’t the rapture, as Debs called me back almost instantly and said that she and the boys would be able to come visit me, one way or another.

No prizes for guessing what I’ll be serving, but you’ve got to be dreaming if you think I’ll confirm it before they sit for their ritual mid-meal portrait.

Image source: Blondie.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Hooray (I’m back) for Hollywood!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Oscar Gold, Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball

The Oscars are so close that you can sniff them, Shane Gould is preparing to show us that she still is not to be fucked with and the US Survivor winners are ready to war. And you know that was enough to pull me out of my self-imposed exile.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s focus on Hollywood’s night of nights and why, once again, I am back to bother you all with a stench of mediocrity.

You see, my ex-frenemy and dear friend Elton has been touring Australia the last month or so and when I caught up – expecting to be asked to fill the Kiki Dee roll in Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – with Elts backstage, he slapped me (hard) and told me to stop wallowing, revel in my vile-pig mediocrity and return Oscar Gold to its glory in honour of his upcoming win.

And how do you say no to that?

So sit back, settle in and get ready to celebrate Oscar Gold XCII: Gold Basketball.

Image source: Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

The Island of Mount Rushmore

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We’ve survived – pun not intended, I promise – the off season and my dear Jeffrey is back for another season of smutty innuendo and drooling over the male castaways.

I mean, remember controversial victor Chris coming out of the water? Swoon.

While it really didn’t feel like much of an off season thanks to Survivor South Africa and Pia’s coronation of Australian Survivor last week, there is nothing like having the OG back. Particularly since this season features a giant statue dedicated to the one true queen of Survivor, Sandra and her subject Boston Rob.

So buckle in, sit back and get ready to venture to the Island of the Idols. And join me Saturday when we catch up with the first boot slash tally how many incorrect assumptions are made about the title!

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

He’ll be here

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Some people stand in the darkness. Afraid to step into the light. Some people need to help somebody, when the edge of surrender’s in sight.

But don’t you worry, it’s gonna be alright. Cause I’m always ready and my boy David Hasselhoff will be coming in to your sight.

I’ll be ready, so are you ready? Never you fear, no don’t you fear. Because I’ll be ready. Forever and always, and now Hoff will be here

What do I make the icon to celebrate last week’s 30th anniversary of Baywatch?

Image source: NBC.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Golden Family

Emmy Gold, Emmy Gold: Golden Family, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, TV

Roll out the red carpet and guild the small screen as the Emmys are fast approaching, giving us time to celebrate the best of television. And question why some shows have continued to be egregiously snubbed.

Looking at you, Broad City.

But for every Broad City, there is a Schitt’s Creek entering the fray and a big nerd like Rach taking out some gold for her life’s work. And that is why I keep coming back for more.

So sit back, relax and get ready to honour the Golden Family for this year’s Emmy Gold!

Image source: The Television Academy.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.