The golden age of giving thanks

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Thankgiving for being a friend

While it feels like only a couple of days since we finished up celebrating Ab Fab’s 25th Birthday – because it was – we’re doubling down in honour of Thanksgiving.

Yep – we’re throwing a party and inviting everyone we (care to) know. And they will see, the biggest gift will be from me and the place-card attached will say … I give thanks for being a friend.

That’s right, I’m pulling the time machine out of storage – again in Bea’s case – packing up my resort wear and travelling down the road and back again to celebrate Thanksgiving on the lanai with The Golden Girls.

Controversially, cheesecake is not included. Though I promise, it is a Thanksgiving not to be missed.

I mean, it’s THE Golden Girls for f&^ksakes.

Image source: The Golden Girls / NBC.

 

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Yeah, cheers, thanks a lot

Ab Fab’s 25th Birthday, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Picture it, BBC Two, 12 November 1992. My dear friend Jen’s new show premiered and changed the world.

My friend? Jennifer Saunders. The show? Ab Fab. This wheel? On fire.

So grab the stoli, stock up on some bolli and buckle in as we celebrate Ab Fab’s 25th Birthday!

Image source: BBC.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Tomorrow is a notter today

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you know, my boy Karl has had a hella rough slash oft controversial last year. His marriage dissolved in an extremely public way, and his falling to second most popular Today personality – after Sylvia, obvi – lead to the unnecessarily scandalous exit for his co-worker Lis.

The year is coming to a close, we’re all fucking tired and Karl, more than anyone, could use a cuddle from his dearest friend. So I picked up the phone and asked him to drop by and reconnect.

For one of my famously comforting cuddles.

What says, I love you, I miss you and I’m more than willing to throwing 2017 in the trash and help you reclaim your breakfast TV throne?

Picture source: Unknown.

 

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Pirates & Prejudice

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After an upside down week, I decided I needed something with a little more pomp and circumstance this week. And there is no one I know with more pomp or circumstance, than Keira Knightley.

Well other than Lizzie and the OG (and best) Lizzie.

Since those two were busy, I swallowed my pride, got rid of my prejudice and bent my calendar like Beckham to fit her in.

What says I’ve missed you the last couple of years and not, get your lesbian feet out of my shoes Jesminder?

Image source: Focus Features.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Upside down, boy you turn me

Halloween, Stranger Feasts

After the spooktacular success of our first Halloween celebration – Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, for those playing at home – last year, my dear friend Wino gave me a buzz to see if i’d reserve the slot to help her promote the latest season of her show.

You may have heard of it?

Stranger Things?

My friend Winon is in it as the badass mother?

It lead to her killer facial expressions at the Screen Actor’s Guild Awards that lead to me erroneously driving her to UCLA medical centre, fearing she was suffering a stroke.

Given I am a huge fan of the show, Millie Bobby Brown is my current role model and I want to help get justice for Barb any way that I can, I jumped at the chance and invited the whole – well, almost – crew over to mark the premiere and the hallowed veen.

Which is non-alcoholic for the kids. Whoooooooooo will be joining me tomorrow, as we kick of our Stranger Feasts?

Image source: Netflix.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Coffee and tea or be with me

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

After Tara graciously agreed to end a feud that I was wholly responsible for, I felt that it was time for me to extend the courtesy to one of my dearest ex-friends slash Tar’s former co-star Amanda Peet.

Who is completely and utterly responsible for the mess our friendship is in.

While you probably assumed that our feud was caused by her not convincing her husband to cast me as a gender flipped Khaleesi to allow me to bed Khal Drogo and Jon Snow, that is not the case.

Way back in 1966 – I had shown Mands the wonder of time travel, which Annelie and I invented – we created the great Peet’s Coffee business together … before I was removed from the company “due to a scandal” – now known as Harvey Weinstein style – and lost the coffee fortune I would have accumulated in the preceding 50 years.

I mean, sure, I was caught up in a scandal but she should have protected me. What says I am finally willing to forgive you for abandoning me and costing me my fortune?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Taratin Reid

Baking, Dessert, Pie, Snack, Sweets

While I am ok at admitting when I’m in the wrong, it is rare for me to admit when I completely got a situation wrong. Like the situation that led to my dogged pursuit of destroying Tara Reid in the media for the last two years.

You see, Tara was trying to protect me. From myself and Hoff, knowing that he and I have long enjoyed a dear friendship and she didn’t want our relationship to flow from the screen to off, and end in Hoff’s third divorce and the end of a beautiful friendship.

Sure – it was a little presumptuous of her but there was a 99% chance of that entire scenario playing out, so there was nothing I could do but breakdown in tears, hold her and be thankful that I have such a dear friend that knows me so well and wants to protect me from myself.

Tara Reid, realistically, should become the first living person to be canonised.

As you know, I got Tara her big break in The Big Lebowski through my boy Philly Sey after me became firm friends during her brief appearance on Days of Our Lives (I was dating Drake Hogestyn at the time). While we were close after Days, our friendship truly blossomed after Lebowski and she dedicated her life to paying me  back for my kindness.

In a plot twist, that devotion is what made her block my Sharknado 3 casting despite knowing it would risk our friendship. See, she is a damn saint.

After putting an end to the feud and apologising profusely for all the horrible things I said about her in the media, things went straight back to normal and we laughed while filling each other in on what was going on in our lives over a Taratin Reid.

 

 

Sweet, rustic and altogether homely, this is the perfect dish to sweeten the deal of an apology … and nourish the rekindling of a beautiful, beautiful friendship.

Enjoy!

 

 

Taratin Reid
Serves: 8.

Ingredients
2 cups plain flour
1 tbsp raw caster sugar
pinch of salt
125g unsalted butter, cubed
2 eggs
6 apples, peeled, halved and cored
1 lemon, juiced
50g raw caster sugar
50g muscovado sugar
200g butter, at room temperature

Method
Combine the flour, caster sugar and salt in a food processor with the unsalted butter and blitz until it resembles wet sand. Add the eggs and blitz until just coming together. Remove from the processor, shape into a ball, flatten into a disc, wrap in cling and place in the fridge for half an hour.

While the dough is chilling, preheat the oven to 180°C. While preparing the apples, add them to the lemon juice to stop them from going brown.

Heat a medium, ovenproof  frying pan over low heat and melt the sugars with three tablespoons of water, stirring until melted. Increase the heat and allow to caramelise, without stirring, until it forms a honey colour. Add the butter and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat.

Add the apples to the pan, curved side down until they are tightly packed. Place in the oven and bake for half an hour. While baking, roll out the dough to the size of the pan and place in the fridge to chill until the apples are done.

Remove the pan from the oven and allow to cool slightly before placing the dough on top, tucking the edges into the pan. Bake for 20-30 minutes, or until browned and crisp. Remove the pan again and allow to cool completely before gently turning the tart out of the pan onto a plate. Serve and devour immediately, with or without ice cream.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

American Pienado

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Catching up with Kimmy last week reminded me that I need to bury the hatchet with my dear ex-friend – and her Sharknado 3 co-star – Tara Reid.

You see, I got her cast in arguably her two biggest breaks – The Big Lebowski, thanks Phil, RIP and Sharknado, via my boy Ian – and then she heartlessly refused to get me cast as David Hasselhoff’s love interest in the fourth movie, triggering our epic feud.

But as you’ve probably guessed by now, I feel it is time to finally put an end to said feud and reconnect with my dear, sweet friend.

What do I make that says I forgive you and I want to get back to the beautiful friendship we once had?

Image source: Unknown.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Voom Voom Sha-Bang

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you know, I’ve long been a friend of the Richards-Hilton-Umansky sisters.

While one of my big-breaks came from being Kyle’s stunt double on Halloween, I actually connected with the girls during my previous big-break working as Kim’s stunt double on Nanny and the Professor and Escape to Witch Mountain.

Given my stunted height, Kimmy outgrew me but being the kind soul that she is, hooked me up to do Kyle’s stunts and we transitioned to being the best of friends slash drinking buddies.

What do I make that says, I’m so happy you’re doing so well and I’m sorry I introduced you to alcohol and the term slut pig?

Image source: Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Heroes, healing me by hustlin’ my muscle

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers

Good news! Australian Survivor may be but a few weeks away from leaving our screens, but Probst and Co. are back for another round of the glorious mothership.

I mean, sure, this season may have one of the top three worst titles, but it does also boast a cast of super fans, interesting people and a bevy of total babes – boys, please follow Locky’s lead – so my hopes are extremely high.

Side note: could you imagine how much fun Probst would have with some ball puns with some balls out?

Anyway, buckle in and join us tomorrow as we recap the episode and catch-up with the newest member of the Francesquoitch Hogi first boot club!

Image source: Robert Voets/CBS.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.