Carnival Week

Andrew Turkeegan Leg

Carnival Week, Party Food

I’m ashamed to say Andrew Keegan is one of the few in hollywood that has managed to pull the wool over our eyes. Keegs contacted us while his fleeting career was spiralling into deeper irrelevance with an idea – we should join him and start a cult spiritual movement dedicated to Danny Tanner – Full Circle.

Andrew lured us in with a crimp and the next thing we know we had been given new identities – Uncle Jesse and Michelle Tanner, and became the guardians of the revered Full Circle parrot, Krishna.

Despite there being nothing Full House about this spiritual movement, we saw an opportunity to make some sly cash on the side. As a result of our entrepreneurial endeavours, were recently involved in Andrew’s legal troubles – Ben was technically in double-trouble (but not in an Olsen twins kind of way). Not only was he illegally importing SCOBY from Australia and selling it on to Full Circle, he was also representing Keegan in the media when it turned out his kombucha was more hooch than health tonic.

Obviously, our total ignorance of kombucha’s alcoholic potential (and total addiction to it) forced us back into rehab – but that is a story for another time.

Now that we are out, it is time to catch up with Keegs and do some duping of our own. While we can’t lure him in with a crimp, we can lure him in with delicious, delicious bacon and turkey.

turkeengan 2

The Turkeegan* leg embodies the free-spirited world of Full Circle. Designed to be eaten on the run (from the cops or otherwise) it is the ideal comfort/carnie food to soothe Keeg’s soul.

*May or may not be impostor poultry. Suckaaaaaa Keegs!

turkEEGAN 3

Andrew Turkeegan Leg
Serves: 4

Ingredients
4 turkey legs (or chicken, we won’t tell)
8-12 slices streaky bacon
1 cup hot sauce
4 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
Rice bran oil to fry

Method
Mix hot sauce, brown sugar and vinegar together. Coat the turkey legs and allow to marinate for at least three hours.

Preheat oven to 180 degrees celsius. Remove turkey legs from marinade. Wrap each turkey leg in 2-3 slices of streaky bacon, securing with toothpicks as you go.

Heat some rice bran oil in a hot pan. Thoroughly brown each turkey leg and place on a lined baking tray. Bake in hot oven for 30-45 minutes or until turkey leg is cooked through.

We are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Candy Apple Spelling

Carnival Week, Dessert, Sweets

High society folk like us have many ways of making friends – some admittedly more glamorous than others. While I’d love to say Ben and I met our greatest gal-pals during our prep-school education at Chilton, we actually spent our teenage years at 267th best public school in the United States – Beverly Hills High.

It was on these sacred grounds that we first met the delightful Candy Marer, more commonly known as Candy Spelling. We spent our high school days generally sass-mouthing ugly children and behaving like a self-proclaimed mean girl clique. It was glorious, and Candy was our queen.

Fast-forward a few years and Ben and I were the most dazzling bridesmaids ever as Candy Marer became Candy Spelling. Aaron was quite the handsy fellow at the wedding, a handsy-ness we enjoyed and encouraged and would ultimately mark the demise of our great friendship with Candy.

After Aaron’s death in 2006, Candy turned to her closest BFFs for comfort only to find out that we were aggressively pursuing the estate for the contents of the wrapping room. While we obtained the most luxurious gift wrap supply known to man, our relationship with Candy was destroyed.

As it turns out, we really miss Candy and it is time to make amends. What says here is a sweetener to bring you back into our lives?

 

IMG_5966

 

After all, nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like a piece of impaled fruit covered with jaw-breaking, blood red candy.

 

IMG_5985

 

Candy Apple Spelling
Serves: 6

Ingredients
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup glucose syrup
1-2 teaspoons red food colouring
6 medium granny smith apple
6 extra thick barbecue skewers

Method
Wash and dry the apples and firmly skewer through the core with a barbecue skewer. Line a tray with non-stick baking paper.

Combine water, sugar and glucose syrup in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat, without stirring for 20 minutes or until a candy thermometer registers 150 degrees celsius (hard crack stage). Add food colouring, tipping the saucepan gently to mix.

Working quickly, dip skewered apples into candy mixture until coated. Set aside on baking paper until firm and cool.

 

We are so social and so technologically advanced we have gone nuts on the social medias. You should follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Candice Burgern

Carnival Week, Main, Party Food

While most people fell in love with Candice Bergen as TV’s erstwhile queen, Murphy Brown, Annelie and I first met and befriended Candi on the set of her Oscar nominated turn in Starting Over where we were working as assistants to our close friend Jill Clayburgh.

We also got our friend Kevie Bacon a role but that is a story for another time.

We saw something special in Candi and she us, and it was only Candice who was able to mend the feud between Annelie and I on set after we realised the other was also sleeping with Burt Reynolds.

Candice was in town to commence work on a gritty-Murphy Brown reboot we envision on Netflix. While we are just in the planning stages, we know Sorkin is interested in finding a project to work on with us, so this could be the ticket.

Planning a future critically acclaimed reboot can be draining work, so we made sure to relax at the Ekka (Candi has always wanted to attend) and refuel with our famous Candice Burgern.

 

Candice Burgern_1

 

While Australians are apparently terrible at making burgers, we would argue that Candice’s eponymous burger is a pretty simple classic elevated by a Shake Shack inspired sauce that packs a little kick.

Enjoy!

 

Candice Burgern_2

 

Candice Burgern
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
4 hamburger buns
500g beef mince
8 rashers shortcut bacon
8 slices of cheddar, from the block
2 tomatoes, sliced
spinach leaves, to taste
sliced gherkin, to taste

Sauce
½ cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp mustard
1 dill pickle
¼ tsp garlic powder
¼ tsp paprika
Pinch cayenne pepper

Method
Place mince in a medium bowl, draining as much excess fluid as possible, and season generously with salt and pepper. Work the mince until it is coming together and form into four equal size patties. Place on a cling-lined plate and refrigerate for 30 mins to an hour.

While burgers are chilling, combine all sauce ingredients in a blender/food processor and work until smooth. Transfer to a small bowl, cover in cling and place in fridge until ready to use.

While the sauce is enjoying the company of the patties, get to work slicing your cheese, tomatoes, gherkin and washing the spinach leaves aka mise en place-ing like a boss.

Remove patties from the fridge and place a large frying pan over medium heat until it is warm. Slice buns in half and fry, face down, until lightly toasted. Transfer to a plate, repeating the process until they are all done.

Fry bacon rashers until crispy and cooked, turning mid-way through. Remove to a plate and keep warm.

Place patties in the fry pan and fry for 3-5 minutes before flipping. Once flipped, cover the cooked side of the patties with cheese and fry for a further 3-5 minutes. Remove the pan from heat.

Now to the annoying part, assembly! I always get anxious when putting burgers together as they have a tendency to fall apart, but this order seems to be less terrible than others I’ve done resulting in the top half sliding on to the floor.

Remove sauce from fridge and liberally coat. each side of the buns. Line the base with sliced tomato and top with spinach leaves. Carefully place the hot, cheesy patty on top of the spinach (this kind of wilts the spinach and helps it stay together), then the bacon and gherkin.

Then quickly close the burger and devour so that you can’t disprove my theory that this order builds a stable burger. Thanks!

Oh, obviously serve generously with freshly cooked fries.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

BanAnna Chlumsky Split

Carnival Week, Dessert, Party Food, Sweets

It is probably quite hard to comprehend, but there was once a time when Annelie and I were not on the A-List. I know, crazy.

We first met our friend Anna Chlumsky when we were all extras on Uncle Buck while we were just struggling child stars. Obviously smelling success, Annelie and I hitched our wagon to Macaulay Culkin and commenced a decade long struggle with sobriety as part of his entourage.

But now I’ve gone too far. Two years following our time working together on Uncle Buck, we were reunited on the set of My Girl and formed a close bond with Annie Chlum.

While she disapproved of our addiction and dealing, she was greatly appreciative of our vision quest inspired script re-writes killing off Mac and making her the star. Not to mention writing her the most heartbreaking moment of any movie ever (until that moment in Inside Outside, obviously).

While we wrote the script for My Girl 2, we briefly lost touch on account of our countless deportations and stints in rehab after we failed to snag our first Oscars. Thankfully fate found a way to keep us together and reunited us when we were hired to write aggressive, expletive ridden insults for Armando Iannucci’s scripts and have been extremely close ever since.

Anna thought it best to pop over and relax before the Emmy Awards and visit the Ekka, which she has heard so much about in Hollywood. (Plus, getting her picture with us in Brisbane is a sure way to snag last minute votes).

Wanting to take her back to the innocent(ish) time we shared on the My Girl sets we made our famous BanAnna Chlumsky Split, which was the only thing that could cheer her up after a harrowing day filming Thomas J’s funeral.

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split_1

 

While splits are a pretty simple dessert to whip up, we were inspired by Magnolia Bakery’s famous Banana Pudding and found a way to make it, well, better.

We opt out of the ice cream and cream and instead go with the pudding mix two ways. Trust us, you will never go back. With that, we have kindly borrowed the recipe for the mix from Magnolia as there is no way we could ever top it.

Enjoy!

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split_2

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split
Serves: 4, with pudding leftover to boot.

Ingredients
4 bananas, peeled and sliced in half
¼ to ½ cup salted peanuts, roughly chopped
8 maraschino cherries
coconut oil, for frying

Pudding
1 ½ cups water
⅔ cup instant vanilla pudding mix
1 395g can sweetened condensed milk
3 cups heavy cream

Hot Fudge Sauce
⅔ cup double cream
½ cup Golden Syrup
⅓ cup dark brown sugar
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ teaspoon sea salt
175g dark chocolate, chopped
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method
Pudding
Mix together the water, pudding mix and condensed milk until smooth, and refrigerate for about four hours.

Four hours later, whip the double cream until soft peaks form. Fold the whipped cream into the pudding mixture in thirds, until well incorporated. Transfer half of the pudding mixture into an airtight container and freeze for about six hours, placing the remaining pudding back in the fridge. Covered with cling, obviously.

Hot Fudge Sauce
Bring the cream, syrup, sugar, cocoa, salt and half of the chocolate to boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to maintain a low simmer, and cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove from the heat and stir in the remaining chocolate, butter, and vanilla extract, until smooth. Let to cool for 20 minutes.

(If you don’t use all of the fudge, which you probably won’t, store in an airtight container in the fridge for about a week).

Bananas and assembly
Preheat a griddle until nice and hot, and lightly oil the pan with coconut oil. While the pan in heating, removing the pudding from both the freezer and the fridge.

Place the banana halves on the hot pan, flat side down and fry for 1-2 minutes. Now, sometimes I ace the next part and other times I just shouldn’t bother. Using a flat spatula, flip the bananas and fry on the other side for a minute or until lightly caramelised. Repeat until all bananas are cooked.

Sometimes the banana gets soft, so don’t worry too much if you make a mess.

Now get to work on with the plating by placing two halves of the bananas in a bowl. Top with two or three generous scoops of the frozen pudding. Drizzle, again generously, with hot fudge sauce and scatter, you guessed it … generously, the peanuts on top.

Then top complete the majesty, dollop on a large scoop of the refrigerated pudding aka pudding, and top with a couple of maraschino cherries.

Devour, messily.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Snoop Daggywood Dogg

Carnival Week, Party Food, Snack

Ok, so full disclosure, we pretty much hate every aspect of a carnival aside from the food. I mean between the nature and the general public, it is terrifying. We are the people that inspired Eva Gabor’s character in Green Acres, after all.

We are more urban people, which coincidentally is where we first met our dear friend Snoop Dogg (slash Lion). Snoop shared a dealer, Nancy Botwin, with us back in the early 2000s when we were staunch supporters of MILF Weed.

As we were all crazy stoned, friendship quickly blossomed between us and were initiated into his gang after scoring him a role in Starsky & Hutch with our frenemy Stiller. We then went back in time to help him co-write his hit song Gin and Juice.

As most of our catch-ups involve having the munchies (and the fact that being stoned helps going to a carnival), we opted for a pre-Ekka meal of Snoop Daggywood Doggs.

Obviously we then stayed in and got crazy stoned and spun each other in circles. Such a better choice.

 

Snoop Daggywood Dogg_1

 

Crispy, crunchy and nothing close to something you’d consider healthy, these are best dipped generously in tomato sauce. If you’re wild, mustard is a bit of fun too.

Fun fact, the Snoop Daggywood Doggs are so delicious that they were the catalyst for the notorious gang fight / murder in ‘93. Thankfully our lawyer Johnnie Cochran was free to help Snoop out!

Enjoy!

 

Snoop Daggywood Dogg_2

 

Snoop Daggywood Dogg
Serves: 3 very stoned friends.

Ingredients
⅓ cup polenta
1 cup plain flour, plus extra for dusting
1 tsp bicarb soda
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
pinch of salt
2 tbsp caster sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 ⅓ cups buttermilk
8 frankfurts
8 skewers
vegetable oil, to fry
tommy sauce and mustard, to serve

Method
Place polenta, flour, bicarb of soda, baking powder, cayenne pepper, sugar and ½ tsp salt in a bowl and stir to combine. Stir in egg, then, gradually stir in enough buttermilk to make a smooth, thick batter.

Fill a large saucepan one-third full with oil and heat over medium heat until a chunk of bread turns golden in about 10 seconds. Place extra flour in a shallow bowl and, working with one hot dog at a time, dust in flour, shaking off the excess, then, coat liberally in batter. Holding one end of the dog with tongs, gently drop into oil and fry for 3-5 minutes or until crisp and golden. You may need to turn them halfway through. Drain on paper towel.

Thread corn dogs onto skewers and serve immediately with tommy sauce and mustard.

For classic look, dip the tip in the tommy sauce.

The tip of the meat, obviously.

Meat as in the Snoop Daggywood Dogg, obviously.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.

Once a carnie, always a carnie

Carnival Week, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

As you’ve come to learn, Annelie and I are passionate supporters of all things cultural; I would go as far as to say that we are probably the foremost cultural experts in the country. No, the world.

You would also be aware that the best Carnival / Exhibition / Show / County Fair in the world according to its sponsors, the Ekka aka the Royal Queensland Show, is currently on and we felt it was our duty to get into the spirit and celebrate the important parts of the show.

No, not the cultural displays. Not the showbags, not the competitions, not the rides..the food.

Fun fact, but Annelie and I spent a few years manning the Tilt-A-Whirl at a carnival in beautiful Mount Rose, Minnesota until we left following an unplanned pregnancy leading to the birth of my daughter who grew up to inspire Drop Dead Gorgeous.

While we left town and eventually our calling, the carnie spirit has always remained in our blood so we decided to invite some of our closest celebrity friends over to get in on the refined culinary fun.

Welcome to Carnival Week!

Picture source: FOX.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.