Beetrutina Wesley Tzatziki

Condiment, Dip, Party Food, Side, Snack, Vegetarian

There is no easy way to bring this up so I’m just going to spew it out – I saw my girl Rutina Wesley at Nelsan Ellis’ funeral and we were so overwhelmed by our shared grief, that we vowed to catch-up and to help each other work through our pain.

You see Nels, Ruts and I attended Juilliard around the same time – I was in Group 35 – and became a close trio of friends, so the last few weeks have been really hard as we’ve been coming to terms with the loss of such a kind soul like Nels.

I arrived at the airport super early and paced around the arrivals gate anxiously, as I waited for Rutina to arrive. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I started to cry tears of relief and ran into her arms and didn’t let go for what felt like an eternity.

We headed back to my place – in an extremely coordinated Schapelle Corby fashion, obvi – and spent the last few days sitting around, holding hands and talking through our feelings and all the good things Nels would be wanting for us.

While we became dear friends at Juilliard, it was working together on True Blood that truly cemented our friendship. Al had come onto me for help assemble the cast and while I questioned the inclusion of my friend Anna as Sooookaaaahh, like Al, I knew that only Rutina could play the role of Tara – and Nels, Lafayette.

I was also extremely vocal about (other, better) Al’s need to be constantly naked, however that only paid-off in the season six finale.

Anyway – Rutina has been super busy since True Blood, with a short stint on Arrow and the lead role in Oprah’s Queen Sugar, so I know that Nels will be watching over her and cheering on her success. As I’m sure he was watching over me as I whipped up my Beetrutina Wesley Tzatziki.

 

 

The earthy roast beetroot and kick of garlic, live together in perfect harmony with the tang of the yoghurt and fresh herbs, to create a more-ish variation on tzatziki you can’t go past.

Enjoy!

 

 

Beetrutina Wesley Tzatziki
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1 large beetroot, roasted and peeled
½ Lebanese cucumber
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
½ cup thick Greek yoghurt
1 tbsp chopped fresh dill
1 tbsp chopped fresh mint
juice of a lemon
2 tbsp olive oil
Turkish bread, to serve

Method
Grate the beetroot and cucumber into a sieve and press to drain off the liquid.

Transfer to a bowl, add the garlic, yoghurt, herbs, lemon juice and olive oil and stir well to combine.

Transfer to a dish and devour with a tonne of Turkish bread.

 

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Chillian AnderCon Queso Dip

Condiment, Dip, Party Food, Snack

Full disclosure, I have never seen an episode of The X-Files.

Yes, I spent a lot of time on the set due to my friendship and subsequent affair with David Duchovny and to gather intel for the script of the porn parody I was working on, which was obviously called The Sex-Files.

Despite being quite busy being … occupied by David and my research, I was able to connect with the delightful, elegant and downright badass Gillian Anderson.

Gills and I connected over our shared Chicago heritage – she was born there, I inspired the role of Velma Kelly – and she quickly took me under her wing, I assume to “fix” me. Clearly she didn’t know who she was dealing with!

Either way, I continued to be an obnoxious, hyper-sexual, alcoholic, junky, felon and G loved me, either in spite of or because of my flaws.

G has been very busy lately, what with The X-Files reboot, her creepy turn in Hannibal and starring in the critically acclaimed The Fall, which she won’t let me near. Yes, Jamie Dornan does have a restraining order out against me, but I know that if she just got me close enough I’d be able to explain why I was caught rubbing his hair while he slept. I mean, it was only the one time after all.

Obvs I would then get a role as Christian’s lover in 50 Shades of Gay … which is what he will demand the sequels become to celebrate both our love and our kinks.

Anyway, it has been ages since we last caught up so I made sure I blocked out some time in her calendar months ago so that we could reconnect and I could work on the Jamie sitch, and nothing says reconnection quite like a big ol’ bowl of Chillian AnderCon Queso Dip.

 

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I make no secret of my unbridled love of cheese: cottage, gouda, roquefort, camembert, pamesan, feta, dick, cheddar, philly, swiss – you name it, I’ll gobbleeat it. Add my other fave, chilli, and you’ve got a warm, thick white liquid that you want to take straight in the mouth … on a chip, right?

Either way, enjoy!

 

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Chillian AnderCon Queso Dip
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
225g vintage cheddar cheese
125g colby cheese
100g queso quesadilla
340g  cream cheese
3 fresh tomatoes, chopped
6 spring onions, finely chopped
6 jalapeños, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
½ cup fresh coriander, chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Melt cheeses together in a saucepan over low heat.

Stir in all other ingredients.

Devour, warm, with corn chips. Or even better, Tortéa Leoni Chips?

 

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BanAnna Chlumsky Split

Carnival Week, Dessert, Party Food, Sweets

It is probably quite hard to comprehend, but there was once a time when Annelie and I were not on the A-List. I know, crazy.

We first met our friend Anna Chlumsky when we were all extras on Uncle Buck while we were just struggling child stars. Obviously smelling success, Annelie and I hitched our wagon to Macaulay Culkin and commenced a decade long struggle with sobriety as part of his entourage.

But now I’ve gone too far. Two years following our time working together on Uncle Buck, we were reunited on the set of My Girl and formed a close bond with Annie Chlum.

While she disapproved of our addiction and dealing, she was greatly appreciative of our vision quest inspired script re-writes killing off Mac and making her the star. Not to mention writing her the most heartbreaking moment of any movie ever (until that moment in Inside Outside, obviously).

While we wrote the script for My Girl 2, we briefly lost touch on account of our countless deportations and stints in rehab after we failed to snag our first Oscars. Thankfully fate found a way to keep us together and reunited us when we were hired to write aggressive, expletive ridden insults for Armando Iannucci’s scripts and have been extremely close ever since.

Anna thought it best to pop over and relax before the Emmy Awards and visit the Ekka, which she has heard so much about in Hollywood. (Plus, getting her picture with us in Brisbane is a sure way to snag last minute votes).

Wanting to take her back to the innocent(ish) time we shared on the My Girl sets we made our famous BanAnna Chlumsky Split, which was the only thing that could cheer her up after a harrowing day filming Thomas J’s funeral.

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split_1

 

While splits are a pretty simple dessert to whip up, we were inspired by Magnolia Bakery’s famous Banana Pudding and found a way to make it, well, better.

We opt out of the ice cream and cream and instead go with the pudding mix two ways. Trust us, you will never go back. With that, we have kindly borrowed the recipe for the mix from Magnolia as there is no way we could ever top it.

Enjoy!

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split_2

 

BanAnna Chlumsky Split
Serves: 4, with pudding leftover to boot.

Ingredients
4 bananas, peeled and sliced in half
¼ to ½ cup salted peanuts, roughly chopped
8 maraschino cherries
coconut oil, for frying

Pudding
1 ½ cups water
⅔ cup instant vanilla pudding mix
1 395g can sweetened condensed milk
3 cups heavy cream

Hot Fudge Sauce
⅔ cup double cream
½ cup Golden Syrup
⅓ cup dark brown sugar
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ teaspoon sea salt
175g dark chocolate, chopped
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method
Pudding
Mix together the water, pudding mix and condensed milk until smooth, and refrigerate for about four hours.

Four hours later, whip the double cream until soft peaks form. Fold the whipped cream into the pudding mixture in thirds, until well incorporated. Transfer half of the pudding mixture into an airtight container and freeze for about six hours, placing the remaining pudding back in the fridge. Covered with cling, obviously.

Hot Fudge Sauce
Bring the cream, syrup, sugar, cocoa, salt and half of the chocolate to boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to maintain a low simmer, and cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove from the heat and stir in the remaining chocolate, butter, and vanilla extract, until smooth. Let to cool for 20 minutes.

(If you don’t use all of the fudge, which you probably won’t, store in an airtight container in the fridge for about a week).

Bananas and assembly
Preheat a griddle until nice and hot, and lightly oil the pan with coconut oil. While the pan in heating, removing the pudding from both the freezer and the fridge.

Place the banana halves on the hot pan, flat side down and fry for 1-2 minutes. Now, sometimes I ace the next part and other times I just shouldn’t bother. Using a flat spatula, flip the bananas and fry on the other side for a minute or until lightly caramelised. Repeat until all bananas are cooked.

Sometimes the banana gets soft, so don’t worry too much if you make a mess.

Now get to work on with the plating by placing two halves of the bananas in a bowl. Top with two or three generous scoops of the frozen pudding. Drizzle, again generously, with hot fudge sauce and scatter, you guessed it … generously, the peanuts on top.

Then top complete the majesty, dollop on a large scoop of the refrigerated pudding aka pudding, and top with a couple of maraschino cherries.

Devour, messily.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.