Canada’s Drag Race 2

Eggia Mactric and Cheese

Breakfast, Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with dragging up a group of queer teens for the best, prom, EVER. While Kendall could have gone shady when pairing up the queens and the teens, she wanted the kids to have fun and as such, everyone was perfectly paired. All of the queens slayed their makeovers, though Pythia and her teen stole the show while Icesis and Adriana were both read for not telling a coherent story. As such, Pythia took out a second well earned victory, while the latter two had to lip sync for their lives with poor Adriana tragically exiting the competition.

Backstage the top four were thrilled to have made it to the end, with Icesis particularly grateful to have dominated the lip sync on her way there. Kendall meanwhile was proud to be there but more so, proud to be there with her sisters. They all kind of admitted that they expected this top four from the start before they congratulated Pythia on finally winning a design challenge. The sweet, Canadian version of shade was interrupted by a surprise message announcing that instead of going straight through to the finale, they would be having a little reunion with their fallen sisters.

With that the eliminated queens joined Brad on the mainstage, starting with Beth – yep, its happening – Océane, Stephanie, Suki, Eve, Synthia, Kimora and Adriana returning to kiki with the top four which, gay gasp, we learnt would become the final three before the end of the night! Starting out hella shady, only Stephanie was shocked about the makeup of the top four, admitting that she should be there instead of Kendall. Which Kendall assured her was just because she missed the growth throughout the competition since, you know, she left so early.

Given reunions are never really compelling to read about, I’m just going to curate and give you the highlights. Icesis was thrilled her fashion was well received while Pythia was grateful that her creativity was embraced within the competition. Beth vowed that while she didn’t get to show it on the show, she was ready to prove her growth on the global stage. Océane joined a gym, Adriana – and all of her sisters – were proud of how well she performed, while the Brat Pack were just thrilled to get to have such good friends with them in such an intense competition.

With sweet Kimora just thrilled to see such a nice bond between Kendall, Gia and Synthia, despite the fact it may have been difficult for some of the other girls. Namely Beth and Eve.

Everyone spoke about Eve’s many tantrums, though agreed that she just needs to see the star she is, which is something everyone else can see. Icesis admitted to being insular, before Brad gagged me with the fact that ICESIS is the oldest queen of the season. We then got a supercut of Gia’s Oscar speeches, after which I woke to Stephanie yawning, and talk turned to Pythia being the only one to not have to lip sync throughout the competition.

After the queens gushed over how grateful they were to makeover the amazing queer teens, the top four shared the moment they realised they were doing well in the competition, with Kendall sharing that lip syncing for her life is what put a fire in her belly. Gia admitted that overcoming the nerves in the roast made her realise she belonged, while Icesis agreed that lip syncing worked her up, along with the help of the girls telling her to snap out of it and Pythia admitted that surviving Snatch Game was all it took for her.

Stephanie was then handed a mic to read the girls, calling out Kendall for looking like Jay Z out of drag, Beth for bombing the first lip sync while Suki was deemed a Doll, but only in an Annabelle kind of way. Which didn’t bother her, given she was then crowned as Miss Congeniality of the season.

But that is where the joy left as the eliminated queens were asked to identify who they think would win, with Beth, Océane and Kimora going with Icesis – though the latter wanted Pythia – while Stephanie, Synthia and Adriana were Team Pythia, and Eve went with Kendall. And Suki opted for either Icesis or Pythia. Before Eve broke down saying they all deserved it.

Brad then gagged the top four by announcing that in order to get to the top three, they would have to compete in a lip sync tournament until one girl was eliminated. First to face off were Kendall and Gia to RuPaul’s Main Event with both of the girls coming out of the gate absolutely firing and leaning into their respective styles. Gia was sexy and flipping around the stage while Kendall was giving full camp and comedy. Which proved enough to hand Kendall a narrow victory and automatically book her place in the finale. Leaving Gia to battle it out against the loser of the next lip sync for the final slot.

Speaking of which, up next were Pythia and Icesis who did battle to Born Naked and like before, the dolls were ready to fight. Pythia was kooky and camp, living her best life while Icesis was laser focused, hitting every lyric and showing why she has dominated the competition all season. She then literally dominated Pythia, giving us the sexiest contact sport Drag Race has ever seen. As such, Icesis booked her way into the finale, leaving Pythia to face off against Gia for the final slot.

As soon as Mama Ru’s Call Me Mother kicked off, Gia and Pythia gave it their all. Pythia gave more kooky and felt every lyric while Gia flipped all over the stage, showing just how damn polished and fierce a performer she is. Ultimately though, only one could go through to the finale with Pythia booking her place, leaving Gia to exit the competition.

While she didn’t give us another lengthy Oscars speech backstage, she was so grateful to see me and to have the support of such a dear friend. You see, I invented the Brat Pack when I visited Harry and Meg in Canada when they divorced the Queen. I quickly grew bored of them wanting to lay low, so hightailed it to Vancouver and we quickly became the four best friends that ever could be.

Obviously I then got deported for some reason or another, but the dolls kept in contact and made sure I still felt a part of things, so it was wonderful to be able to pay Gia back for her kindness. While Brad sprung the elimination on us with minimal notice, I was thankfully able to pull together an Eggia Mactric and Cheese to show my love.

Yeah, yeah – this is just Mountadriana Mac and Cheese with an egg on top, but name a better breakfast? Because I better you can’t. The perfectly cooked fried egg with a sprinkle of chilli are the perfect accompaniment to the mac, to help get your day off to the right start.

Enjoy!

Eggia Mactric and Cheese
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 serves Mountadriana Mac and Cheese (or any mac you like, but the bacon really helps)
2 tbsp butter
2 eggs
½-1 tsp chilli flakes

Method
Reheat your mac and cheese and divide into two bowls.

Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large skillet of medium heat and once foaming, crack the two eggs into the pan, sprinkle with the chilli and fry until the white is set but the yolk is still nice and gooey.

Pop the egg on top of your mac and devour immediately, as the yolk flows all over the pasta.


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Mountadriana Mac and Cheese

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Main, Pasta, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls fired up the oven to give one Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes the roasting of a lifetime. After winning the mini-challenge, Kendall was able to set the order and bravely put herself up front to open the show. And set the bar for the other girls. Which she ended up setting very, very high. Icesis too slayed the competition, but was having so much fun roasting anyone in sight, she ran out of time and was pulled off stage before getting to Brooke. As such, Kendall took out a very well-earned win before Gia and Kimora faced off in the weirdest lip sync of all time. Kimora was ready to go, so opted to follow Gia around the stage like a mosquito until the judges followed her wishes and banished her from the competition.

Backstage Pythia was already missing Kimora’s grandmotherly energy in the Werk Room, while Gia was just grateful to have been able to meet her and learn from a legend. But while they were disappointed, Icesis quickly reminded them, she will always be remembered after that lip sync. Whatever that was. The dolls then rejoiced at the fact they had made it to the top five of the season, with them marveling about how they have now all taken out a win. Since, you know, that means it is anyone’s game.

The next day Gia was busy manifesting the crown while Pythia was impressed by how different their styles are. Despite still wishing that she had won a sewing challenge along the way. Their kiki was interrupted by the arrival of Brooke and Traci who gagged the dolls with some Zoom calls from home, immediately bringing everyone to tears. Gia’s mum was cute and upbeat, Adriana’s husband is gorgeous, Kendall’s partner is a fucking babe, Icesis’ mother is the absolute sweetest and Pythia’s partner is just adorable. Even in an eye patch. And well, you know I sobbed through the entire damn thing.

With all that love out of the way, the queens learnt that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they would be returning to high school – thankfully, drag race style – as they would each be making-over a queer teen for a mother-daughter prom. More importantly though, Adriana just desperately wanted to have skin like the youths. Oh and they’d all have to make their child’s outfit from scratch, which obviously made Icesis thrilled, since she was very confident in her chances of getting her third victory.

As the current reigning winner, Kendall was allowed to allocate the kids with Kendall picking a mini-me Alex, giving sweet Ethan to Gia, the beautiful Friday to Adriana, the stunning Michaela to Icesis and leaving Clover for Pythia, given they look like kindred spirits. And ugh, I love that Kendall wanted the kids to have a good time and as such, didn’t go the shady route.

As they split up into their pairs, it became pretty clear how alike all the duos were. Pythia and her partner nerded out, Adriana and her teen were looking to sex it up while Icesis and her newest daughter just seemed to connect on the deepest level. Gia and Ethan meanwhile bonded over their beauty and I mean, every time we went back to Kendall and Alex, I wondered if they were actually related.

Traci dropped by for a walkthrough where we learnt that Gia’s daughter would be called Electric and stunning in some electric purple. Kendall’s daughter locked in the name of Stormi in honour of the Kimmy K wet look and the iconic child that rises and shines in Kendall’s family. Icesis’ new daughter is going to be rocking a simple, red gown while Pythia and her daughter will be giving a gender fuck runway. And not wanting to rest on her laurels, Pythia was also going to make an outfit for herself as well as Clover’s. While Adriana and Friday didn’t elaborate on their sexy theme, so that’s all there is to tell you.

The teens then dropped by the mainstage where Brooke Lynn was ready to give them a little runway training session. With the top five quickly learning everything they’ve been doing wrong this season. And well, let’s just say, the segment was the most Canadian thing that has ever happened, given it was sweet, kind and just so damn NICE.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone quickly splitting up to get prepped, as Pythia worried about pulling off the two outfits in time while Gia was busy teaching her child about make-up. We then learnt that Pythia and Adriana’s new daughters had created safe spaces in their schools to help the younger kids coming out while Icesis’ daughter broke down, talking about how alone she has felt growing up. Which obviously led Icesis to go full mumma mode, handing over all contact information and encouraging her to call whenever needed. She then shared that she had similar feelings growing up which led to her going down a really dark path, so she really wanted to make sure she was ok.

Oh and the kids all started to get shady to each other and ugh, it was just too cute.

On the runway Icesis and her daughter Ruby both looked stunning, despite not looking like they were going to the same event. Kendall and Stormi were vampy and hilarious, as Kendall gave her best Kris Jenner, momager moment. Adriana and Bella Donna were pretty in pink while Pythia and Apollo stole the show in matching, goth outfits complete with a sash for being the Prom Queer. Oh and then Gia and Electric were delightfully silly and looked gorgeous to boot.

The judges lived for how perfect Ruby Couture looked and while they thought Icesis looked great too, they didn’t understand the connective tissue in their story. Kendall and Stormi meanwhile received universal praise for their narrative, their family resemblance AND for looking so good, despite the dress being a bit basic. Like Icesis and Ruby before them, the judges loved Adriana and Bella Donna’s looks though they couldn’t make sense of the story. Or you know, Adriana dripping in sex toys. Pythia and Apollo’s looks and concept received universal praise, as Pythia broke down about how much this challenge – and doing well for Apollo – meant to her. Gia was praised for giving such a strong family resemblance and giving an entire short story on the runway.

Oh and then Brad told a horrible story about almost being gangbashed at prom and ugh, this episode has me feeling all the feels.

Backstage Kendall was worried that she could land in the bottom before all the teens opened up about how grateful they were to have had the experience they’ve had on the show. Pythia in turn thanked them for being vulnerable and wished that she had them as role models growing up. 

While Adriana quietly worried about potentially lip syncing for her life.

Ultimately Pythia took out a very well earned win while Gia and Kendall were sent to safety, leaving Icesis and Adriana to battle it out to survive. As soon as Mitsou’s Everybody Say Love started, both of the dolls came ready to fight. Icesis was giving fierce showgirl, hitting every letter while throwing in some comedy for good measure. Adriana was sexy and stunning as she danced around the floor and sold the hell out of the song. Sadly for her, Icesis just straight up refused to go home and gave it her all, saving herself and sending sweet Adriana out of the competition.

Before Adriana got to work with her toys, I quickly pulled her aside to congratulate her for such a fun run. While she didn’t make it to the end, this season really could come down to any of them and it feels like every cut is going to hurt. Which made her happy enough to sit down and smash a good old Mountadriana Mac and Cheese.

This mildly tweaked Nigella number is truly a mac for the ages. The inclusion of bacon is something I will always welcome, and when you add in the thyme, richness of the cream and the punch of gruyere, you have a mac that is truly with celebrating.

Enjoy!

Mountadriana Mac and Cheese
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
2 tsp kosher salt
2 potatoes, peeled and cut into a large dice
500g penne
2 tsp olive oil
350g streaky bacon, diced
2 shallots, peeled and sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1½ tsp dried thyme
100ml vermouth
300ml double cream 
½ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
200g gruyère, grated
50g parmesan, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Fill a large pot with water, the salt and potatoes, and bring to the boil. Once rollicking, leave to boil for a couple of minutes before adding the pasta. Cook, stirring infrequently, for a couple of minutes less than the packet instructions.

Meanwhile, heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the bacon over medium heat, for five minutes or so, or until starting to crisp. Add the shallots, garlic and thyme and cook for a further minute. Add the vermouth, cream and nutmeg and stir to combine. Remove from the heat.

Drain the potato and pasta, saving a cup of the cooking liquid, and return to the pot. Stir through the creamy, bacon mixture until well combined. Stir through the cooking liquid and half the gruyère and all the parmesan. Transfer to a baking dish, sprinkle with the remaining cheese and pop it in the oven to bake for twenty minutes.

Once golden and bubbling, remove from the oven to rest for five minutes or so before serving. And devouring greedily.


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Kimora Singamour Noodles

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with throwing a little ball, sinners style. The queens had to first walk the runway in a Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll inspired number, followed by a current-reigning-Miss-Fugly-Kitty-Scott-Claus-inspired Ugly as Sin before designing a showstopping number inspired by one of the Seven Deadly Sins, which were allocated by Icesis. Once again Icesis rose to the top and took out her second victory, after slaying each and every category while Kendall and Synthia were read for missing the mark on a couple and faced off in the lip sync. Sadly though, one of the besties had to go and it was the bananas talented Synthia Kiss.

Backstage Kendall was heartbroken to have been the one to send her bestie home, toasting to her success and telling the queens how proud of Synthia she is. After everyone spoke about how sad they were, Icesis admitted she wasn’t too disappointed because she knew one of them had to go for her to get her crown. Oh and we learnt that Kendall accidentally had her titties out during the performance and that is the kind of kinda that makes me live. Post lip sync, Kendall was feeling her oats and while she didn’t think she would be lip syncing, she was glad to show how sickening she is as a performer.

The queens were still feeling giddy and excited the next day, with Icesis thrilled to not only have won her second challenge but to have won her second design challenge. Sweet Pythia meanwhile was feeling disappointed, given she is also a talented designer – my words – but both times she was pipped at the post. Though she was feeling particularly salty since Icesis wore underwear and chains, while she served an entire sickening look. Her words this time.

Before my two faves descended into complete feuding chaos, Brad arrived to put the girls to the test in a little Fashion Puh-leeze! mini challenge. In duos, the dolls got in quick drag and joined Brad to read some of their sisters’ looks for filth. Up first were Kimora and Pythia in full yellow regalia, Adriana and Icesis were next giving full on glamazon while Kimora and Gia went a more opposites attract route, in the best way possible. During the challenge Kendall was working her dad jokes to perfection, Gia was cutting, Icesis and Adriana bounced off each other perfectly while Pythia seemed to struggle to get comfortable.

Ultimately Kendall took out a very well earned victory, which gave her the advantage of deciding the order in this week’s maxi challenge, The Roast of Brooke Lynn Hytes though they were encouraged to roast literally everyone in addition to their host. As Brad left, the dolls sat down to talk through the challenge with Kendall quickly allocating herself the first performance slot, so that she could set the tone of the roast. And you know, to finally prove herself. Kendall wanted Kimora or Icesis to go last as the strongest comedy girls, with Kimora offering herself up despite the risk. With that out of the way, Adriana was placed second, Gia third and Pythia fourth, leaving Icesis to go before Kimora. And in her mind, probably hurt both of them.

The dolls split up to start working on their routines with Pythia overwhelmed and Adriana absolutely terrified. Thankfully for them, they each got a bit of one-on-one time with Brad and Emma Hunter. Kendall was first to go and proved to make a good choice popping herself first since her Yvie Oddly jokes were near perfection. As was the laugh. Though the judges told her to get to the jokes as quickly as possible so that everyone was on board and can enjoy things. Adriana was still in her head while her rehearsal made Brad and Emma get lost in theirs, given they had no idea what was happening. Though I am hopeful her wackiness will sell it and this is a massive fake-out edit.

Kimora admitted to being a nervous public speaker, despite her passion for comedy. And given how great her rehearsal went, I think that second feeling will carry her through. On the other end of the spectrum, Pythia was super nervous and while she made herself laugh, Brad and Emma weren’t on board. Until the end when she let her rage at Icesis fly. Speaking of Icesis, her rehearsal didn’t go great, though she was open to working through their feedback and was glad to make cuts. Rounding things out was Gia Metric who thankfully could tell every time her jokes didn’t land. She then opened up that she struggled to be mean because she used to be an angry person and she was so scared to go backwards. But thankfully, the judges pushed her to go ALL in.

Elimination Day arrived with Pythia talking about how powerful she feels in drag and how it is what drew her to the career. She opened up that she named herself after a power woman in Greek culture as a way to take ownership of her femininity in a culture that focuses so heavily on masculinity. Gia spoke about the power of reclaiming your strength through drag though the challenge of not having that out of drag. Which is something all of the queens could relate to.

Emma joined Brooke, Amanda and Brad on the judges table for the roast where Kendall was fun, stupid and self-deprecating and damn, did she shine. Adriana meanwhile got stuck in her head from the start despite the cute jokes. Poor Gia didn’t seem to land any jokes, though at least got to advertise how good she is at deepthroating which, to be fair, isn’t nothing. Pythia meanwhile started out strong though as her confidence took hits, her performance flailed. Icesis came out looking for blood, going in hard and knocking it out of the park from start to finish. Even having herself in hysterics before the producer’s straight up pulled her off stage for going too long. Closing out the show was Kimora and like Pythia, she started out super strong though lost her way throughout the set and I worry that is all that the judges will remember.

On the Dungeons and Drag Queens Runway Gia was a gorgeous lizard queen, dripping in yellow and green. Adriana looked like the stunning daughter of the monster from The Shape of Water. Icesis was a perfectly regal demon in red and black while Kendall was a straight up elfin goddess. Kimora was perfection dressed like a glamazon raven – not Raven – while Pythia was a perfect little peach princess before a centaur ruveal. And well, it. Was. Perfect.

The judges lived for everything Icesis did in the roast, except for the fact she didn’t manage her time. Kimora meanwhile received universal praise for both of her looks, despite the ill-fitting nature of her runway. Oh and they also weren’t vibing with how flat she was in the roast. Gia received universal praise for her runway, though the roast was absolutely read for filth. Particularly since she spent most of the time talking about herself. Adriana’s runway was also beloved, despite the fact it was a designer recreation. That being said, the judges were proud of her for powering through her nerves in the roast. Kendall meanwhile received universal praise with the judges living for how hard she has worked and the fact she finally got to prove herself. Rounding things out, Pythia’s runway had everyone gagged for doing something different to her sisters, though they weren’t thrilled (or really disappointed) by the up and down nature of her performance.

Backstage Pythia was mentally preparing to lip sync again, though was ready to put her additional centaur legs to use should they be needed to trip anyone up. Adriana felt like the judges would be asking the dolls who should be going home, so decided to get it out of the way early by posing the question herself. Before anyone could speak, Kimora stepped in and told everyone to name her because she is ready, much to their collective gag. She spoke about having done everything she can in the competition and that at this point, she is ready to go. This led Kendall to beg her to find her fight because one round of bad critiques shouldn’t make her question her skills. Icesis started to cry, Gia was shocked by someone wanting out, Adriana and Pythia were confused, while Kimora simply reiterated that she knows her limits and well, she has hit them. So just let her go.

Ultimately Kendall took out a very well earned victory (which was maybe helped by Icesis running so damn over), while Pythia and Icesis were deemed safe. Adriana meanwhile narrowly avoided lip syncing, leaving Gia to battle against Kimora. Though given Kimora was ready to throw in the towel, it was less of a battle and more Gia turning tricks all over the stage to Get Down by b4-4 while Kimora lifted her up and acted like a ra-girl. Much to the confused maybe-delight of the judges and her sisters, who wondered why she just kept chasing after Gia. 

And as she wanted it to be written, so was it done as Gia was saved while Kimora was sent out with Amanda’s ‘that was weird as shit’ ringing in her ears. Though she was very effusive about her praise to the judges and the show for giving her a shot, so I don’t think anyone should be disappointed. Nor should she be disappointed in herself for her final moments, which she was already regretting because frankly, that ‘weird as shit’ lip sync was weird, and funny and memorable. And isn’t that the point.

Which is obviously what I told her as she entered the work room.

I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for knowing when the time was right to exit for her. Since, you know, self-care is fucking important. Given she is an absolute icon, I made sure to reiterate that over and over so she wouldn’t forget it before whipping out my big, fat bowl of Kimora Singamour Noodles.

Full of curry spice and jam-packed with the freshest veggies, this little number is the perfect quick and dirty meal for whipping up after work. Or when you weren’t expecting your bestie to get eliminated.

Enjoy!

Kimora Singamour Noodles
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
1 tbsp shaoxing wine
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tsp muscovado sugar
2 tbsp peanut oil
300g chicken breast, diced
¾ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper, freshly cracked
1 small onion, sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 red capsicum, sliced
1 cup snow peas, trimmed and halved down the centre
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tbsp curry powder
½ tsp turmeric
200g thin rice noodles, cooked per packet instructions

Method
Combine the shaoxing, sesame oil, soy and fish sauces and the muscovado sugar in a small jug, whisk and leave to rest while you do all your mise en place, including cooking the noodles per the packet instructions.

When you’re ready to go, heat the peanut oil in a wok over medium heat and add ¼ tsp salt and the pepper and swirl in the hot oil. Working quickly, add the chicken and stir-fry for a couple of minutes. Remove and leave to rest on some paper towel.

Next stir-fry the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the carrots, capsicum, snow peas and garlic, cooking for a further minute. Return the chicken to the wok, along with the noodles, chilli flakes, curry powder and turmeric and toss for a minute or so before adding the prepared liquids. Cook, stirring, for a further couple of minutes, or until the chicken and noodles have soaked up most of the sauce.

Serve and devour immediately, in honour of the iconic Kimora.


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Synthislaw Kiss

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with forming two country-pop girl groups in honour of my dear Tay-Tay, complete with a little revenge anthem. Though sadly lacking any reads about stolen scarves. As Team Captain, Gia led the Giddy Girls to the top of the charts and herself, victory. And while Team Synthia still slayed, the Dosey Hoes were not as cohesive which led to Synthia landing in the bottom with Eve, ultimately booting her from the competition.

Backstage Kimora praised Synthia for another knockout lip sync, while Pythia was thrilled to finally get some peace and quiet with Eve out the door. Kendall praised Eve for growing this week and letting her see a new side to her before Gia praised herself for finally taking out a win. Not feeling as joyous was poor Adriana who questioned why she was the last one chosen in the challenge with Gia blaming the rusical, while Synthia pretended she just wanted to take an unexpected route. Talk turned to their track records with Icesis shadily pointing out that only two of the dolls don’t have a win, which immediately made Kimora and Kendall ready to prove why they should be here.

The next day the top seven were feeling their oats until Pythia shaded Icesis for her sole bottom placement and not taking out a second win the week before, while Synthia and Kendall were just wanting to slay again. This little kiki was interrupted by my dear Amanda who tasked the dolls with getting into artist quick drag and painting a twerk of art of their inner saboteur. There was a sea of fringes, spectacles and blunt fringes before Adriana gave a stunning abstract painting I would genuinely put on the wall (FYI, I’ve had some wine). Pythia unveiled herself, commenting on her penchant for fucking up her own life. Gia was trying to give stoned Paris Hilton, Kendall took the comedy route painting douche water, while Kimora was all about dick. Synthia , meanwhile, was British and stunning while Icesis was fire. All fire.

After burning their demons, Icesis took out victory thanks to her madcap delivery. Before we could learn if there was any benefit to her win, Amanda announced that this week they would be throwing the Sinner’s Ball! The first catergory would see them selling rocker in a Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll number, followed by an Ugly as Sin look. And then a Seven Deadly Sins look, made from scraps they pilfer from a tombstone. And since Icesis took out victory, she was given the chance to allocate them, quickly snapping Wrath for herself. Instead of being shady, she opted to go the nice route, mainly because she wanted to beat the dolls when they were at their best. As such she allocated Greed to Synthia, Sloth to Gia, Pride to Kendall, Lust to Adriana, Envy to Kimora and Gluttony to Pythia.

The dolls split up to go through their tombs with Icesis confusing the leather daddy gear for her own wardrobe, while Adriana was ready to really lust it up this week. All of the dolls were living for their hauls, except for Kimora who had bland fake leaves while Kendall was terrified of her sewing skills bringing her down. As such, she planned to build a base garment, accentuating her curves and then glueing on stuff to finish it up. 

Feeling a bit guilty, Icesis approached Kimora to make sure she was ok with her box and offered her support should she need it, as she stuck her leaves together. Adriana meanwhile started to panic about toeing the line between sexy and not making an actual look and getting read for being in underwear. Synthia meanwhile realised she already designed a gold look in the first challenge, so immediately halved the items she could pull from, though was confident in her ability to pull it off. And well, Icesis was just hella confident in taking out another win because she is an icon, frankly.

Gia meanwhile was going to dress like she fell asleep in her make-up, while Pythia was just desperate to prove herself and stand-out over the other fashion queens in Sythia and Icesis. Speaking of which, the duo were talking about how nervous Kimora is about this week’s challenge while praising Gia from pushing through her lack of skills, while they grew nervous about how quickly Pythia was throwing together a look.

Elimination Day rolled around with the Kimora talking about her confusion regarding the growing queer community, wanting to know how everyone identifies so that she isn’t calling them the wrong label or pronoun. Kendall shared that she is a queer male, while Gia and Pythia opened up about being non-binary. The dolls praised Kimora about how she broached the subject and the fact she opened up the dialogue to help others to ask with kindness.

Brooke, Brad and Amanda were joined by the iconic Gigi Gorgeous Getty on the judges panel as the dolls unveiled their Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll runway with Pythia serving ‘00s punk rock queen with purple hair. Kendall was a metal stoner, Gia had them gagged as a literal guitar, while Adriana looked like a goth singer from the Matrix while Icesis was a technicolour delight in honour of Gem. Synthia meanwhile was Madonna does rock before Kimora kinda looked like an extra on Dancing with the Stars in her ode to Tina Turner.

On the Ugly as Sin Runway, Pythia looked a stunning mess in a crochet gown while Kendall’s pussy vommed all over her coat before she coughed up a hairball. Which was confusing but made me love her for such an odd concept. Gia was gorgeous in a gown made of chewing gum, Adriana was demented as a peasant woman while Icesis slayed as a toilet paper doll. While Synthia was stunning as a lolly, though clearly missing the point of the assignment while Kimora was amazing in calling out slavery and damn, that hit me and all the judges in the feels.

Kendall’s Seven Deadly Sins look was a bit oddly constructed in the front, but cute otherwise. Pythia was stunning in a candy stripe dress while vomming candy, Gia looked amazing just out of bed while Adriana was gorgeous in a pink boudoir number complete with tits, which would delight Ru, TBH. Icesis meanwhile was a demonic, BDSM delight and poor Synthia was a mood in mis-matching patterns while Kimora served awkward anaconda.

The judges lived for everything Pythia did with each look while Gigi loved her make-up even more than her looks. Kendall meanwhile was praised for her clear messaging in the designed look though was read for her confusing cat lady. Gia received universal praise for all that she did while Adriana was praised for the comedy she gave the second look and showing diversity. Next up Icesis was beloved for giving non-stop couture, while Synthia was read for not really hitting the mark in any of the categories. Kimora was thanked for her beautiful slavery runway before the judges gave a hard pivot and praised her other looks for being so joyous.

Backstage the queens praised Kimora on her beautiful moment before talk turned to their critiques. Adriana was annoyed that the judges didn’t respect how hard she worked on her final look while Icesis was thrilled by her universal praise. And you know, likely second win. Gia suggested Synthia would once again be in the bottom before the girls rallied around to remind her how fierce she is. Because this is Canada, after all.

Ultimately Icesis took out victory before Kimora and Gia were sent to safety. On the flipside, Synthia was deemed one of the bottoms before pivoting again as Pythia was sent to safety for being amazing. Ultimately Adriana was also announced as safe leaving Kendall gagged to find herself in the bottom … against her damn bestie. As soon as DJ Sammy’s Heaven kicked off the dolls were ready to fight, ripping their legs free of their garment before moving around the stage, hitting her lyric and feeling all the emotions. While Synthia put up a good fight, Kendall was here to slay and proved why she deserves her place in the competition, she was flipping and fighting and totally dominated. Tragically at the cost of sweet Synthia’s place in the competition.

As soon as I saw sweet Synthia in the Werk Room, I started to sob before following the judges lead and pivoting hard, asking if I looked like a dove. While she was confused, she gave a half chuckle when I explained that my tears must be what it sounds like, when doves cry completely unaware that was a genuine thought that came into my head rather than a joke.

But that is the kind of friend Synthia is.

While she was disappointed to be leaving the competition, she is so kind and upbeat, that she couldn’t stop talking about how grateful she was for the experience. Win or lose. With that, I didn’t need to really cheer her up, so instead I toasted her success with a fresh and bitey Synthislaw Kiss.

Yeah, yeah – how many slaws can one make before they’ve exhausted their options? Well let me tell you, there is no limit to my passion for slaw. This Asian inspired number combines delicate wombok with a hit of sharp flavours to leave you wanting more. If only I had something to serve it with  …

Enjoy!

Synthislaw Kiss
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 cups wombok, finely shredded
1 carrot, peeled and julienned
1 red onion, thinly sliced
1 red chilli, sliced
45g peanuts, toasted, coarsely chopped
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp sesame oil
½ cup coriander, roughly chopped

Method
Ok, prepare yourself for a tough one!

Pop everything in a bowl and toss.

Then devour, obvi.


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Eve 6000 Island Dressing

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Condiment, Dip, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls faced up to Snatch Game. Though not before reading each other for absolute filth after Brooke opened the library. While Icesis took out victory in the reading challenge, she was less successful in her impersonation of La Veneno, despite it being hilarious. Not so hilarious however was poor Suki who struggled to translate her sense of humour to Yoko Ono. Ultimately Synthia slayed as Rachel Zoe and took out a very well-earned victory. On the flipside, Eve’s perfect Bernie Sanders lacked any jokes, landing her in the bottom with Suki who was tragically eliminated from the competition.

Backstage Pythia was heartbroken to lose her fellow Montreal sister while Eve relished her time in front of the mirror, dramatically reading the message and cleaning it away while the rest of her sisters praised Suki for being such a bright spark in the competition. The dolls sat down to kiki and praised Synthia for her very well earned victory, while Kimora was just gagged to not be safe rather than gagged by being in the top. Adriana spoke about how surprised she was to not lip sync, which Eve agreed with given she felt Adriana did far worse than her. Which, TBH, is true, to an extent.

I mean, Bernie was on point. Just not funny, not even in a bad way.

The next day the dolls were living their best lives thanks to the joy of still being in the competition, meaning Kendall thought it would be a good idea to stir some drama and ask Eve if she still thinks she didn’t belong in the bottom. While she still felt she didn’t belong in the bottom two, Traci arrived to distract them with some sexy teacher, sex-education quick drag before we could getting any real drama. After slapping on a coat of paint, Kimora and Icesis were up first looking like the horniest librarians and living for their condoms. Synthia and Gia were demented in a Drop Dead Gorgeous/Banana kinda way which somehow worked. Eve and Kendall looked like they were on different shows, while Pythia and Adriana were charming and amazing. Ultimately Synthia and Gia took out victory, complete with $5K of condoms from Trojan.

But enough about the frangas, Traci then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be required to form country girl groups and write and record their own lyrics to the TayTay-esque revenge anthem – Bye Flop! For winning the mini challenge, Synthia and Gia were deemed team captains with Synthia opting to form her band with Kendall, Kimora and Eve while Gia, Pythia, Icesis and Adriana made their rivals. With that, the bands split up to get a feel for the song, with Eve suggesting that Team Synthia should be called the Dosey Hoes and assured them that they will easily dominate their rivals. Meanwhile Icesis was also nervous about how their group would go, given Pythia and Adriana were nervous and a little timid.

Traci returned to kiki with the girls with Team Synthia locking in the name Dosey Hoes before Kimora shared that her verse will be about cheating scum. Which is v. TayTay. Eve spoke about her extensive song writing experience and assured Traci that she was ready to shine. We were then reminded that Kendall and Synthia have a history working in a group together and ugh, their confidence will get them, won’t it? Team Gia introduced themselves as the Giddy Girls and while they were all nervous about the song, they seemed ready to come together and make it work. Whatever it may end up being.

The Dosey Hoes were first up to record their verses with the iconic Bif Naked and poor Eve appeared to get in her head from the start and hold back during her performance. Kimora meanwhile was stupid and fun in all the right ways, completely slaying in the process. Kendall gave twang and only twang, while Synthia gave twang and killer vocals. Meanwhile the Giddy Girls knocked it out of the park from the get go. Gia was feeling her oats, Icesis gave rap queen while Adriana was dropping so many languages that while she appeared to struggle, I can see her slaying. And well, Pythia was just the best and I love her. As does Bif, who wanted to join their band.

When it came to choreography, the Dosey Hoes followed Kendall’s lead who gave everyone simple but impactful moves and well, they were really sweet so I love them. Kimora however just wished they had a choreographer because there appeared to be too many cooks in the kitchen. And Eve wasn’t sure she could slay some moves, but annoyed Synthia who just wished she had solutions as well as complaints. As for the Giddy Girls, Gia meanwhile was feeling the pressure of being the team captain as nobody wanted to commit to making a suggestion leaving her to feel solely responsible for whatever ends up happening.

Elimination Day arrived with Adriana ready to top again before the dolls split up to get ready for their performance. Kimora educated the girls about country music’s roots in the black community. Talk turned to Icesis’ drag family with her admitting that her little brother is her drag daughter and ugh, they are so damn cute and I love them both. Synthia opened up about the fact her dad is gay and that they both came out of the closet at the same time, and how she worries about her dad’s confidence. But ultimately hopes the experience of Drag Race helps him come out of his shell.

Bif Naked joined Brooke, Brad and Traci on the judges panel for the debut performances of Bye Flop! with the Giddy Girls first to drop their single. From the very start they were delightfully country and totally cohesive, and well, they slayed the entire performance, hitting every lyric and making the choreography look amazing despite its simplicity. The Dosey Hoes meanwhile came out fighting, bright and fun, selling the hell out of the performance despite not being as strong as a group.

The dolls followed up their performances by walking the Monochromatica runway, serving futuristic pop princess realness. Adriana was gorgeous in a bright blue Gaga inspired number. Icesis was a golden delight, Pythia was sea-sickening in a lime jellyfish look while Gia was a gorgeous lilac robot. Synthia was a delight in a velvet, mushroom pink gown while Kendall served sexy hip-hop Big Bird, Eve looked perfect in a blue, robot bodysuit while Kimora was gorgeous in a white gown, channelling all of the divas.

Ultimately the Giddy Girls took out victory in this week’s challenge with Gia ultimately taking out the win, after Brooke did a cute little moment pretending that she didn’t. Obviously this led to another pageant speech from Gia before the rest of her band were sent to untuck with her.

Left to face the judges, Synthia admitted that she felt pressure in the challenge being the team leader. While she was praised for slaying the performance, the judges felt she didn’t give enough on the runway. Nor did she help her sisters learn their choreography. Kendall was read for giving current pop star, not futuristic, as was her verse for being basic, despite selling the hell out of it. Eve was praised for looking good on the runway, though her performance was read for just being a mess given she missed all the choreography and appeared bored. And the fact the judges have given her a tonne of feedback and she just doesn’t seem to be getting it. While Kimora received universal praise for just being fun and looking like a treat. Despite showing her panties at the back.

The victors were feeling their oats as they untucked before the losing team arrived to fill them in on the tea. Kimora pointed out her look was praised, though the judges hated her VPL. Kendall said she did well despite them hating her verse while Eve was disappointed to get the same critique from the judges week after week. Leading to Synthia trying to perk her up, which obviously made the situation worse. Synthia meanwhile was nervous that she would be in the bottom simply because she was the team captain.

Ultimately Kimora and Kendall were deemed safe, leaving Synthia to battle Eve to survive on account of her being the team captain. Just as she feared. As Bif Naked’s I Love Myself Today kicked off both of the dolls were ready to fight, though poor Eve just felt a little flat. As Synthia gave it her all, Eve hit every lyric and gave us the moments we needed but you could tell the weeks of tough critiques were still playing on her mind. As such, Synthia was sent to safety while poor Eve found herself exiting the competition.

I followed the sound of the bark crying to find Eve mournfully packing her bags and after scaring her upon slinking in, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her how damn talented she is. While she was disappointed to not get a truly victorious moment in the competition, I reminded her that she provided countless memorable moments, slayed the rusical and did give a great, thespian style impersonation of Bernie Sanders. And while that didn’t get her the win, it makes her good enough TV for an All Stars redemption, which honestly, is better than winning sometimes. With that, we laughed, we cried and toasted her success with a cool jug of Eve 6000 Island Dressing.

Full disclosure, given I hate seafood I spent most of my life needlessly hating on Thousand Island Dressing. Then I learnt it is similar to Mac Sauce and have essentially been bathing in it every since. Tangy, sweet and gorgeously creamy, it is the perfect accompaniment to fish, chips, burgers and post-boot pain.

Enjoy!

Eve 6000 Island Dressing
Makes: 1 ½ cups.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
½ small onion, finely diced
2 tbsp ketchup
2 tbsp gherkin relish
1 tsp champagne vinegar
½ tbsp sweet paprika
¼ tbsp kosher salt
pinch of freshly ground pepper

Method
Place everything in a bowl and mix until well combined.

Transfer to a jar and pop in the fridge for a few hours to let the flavours develop before serving.

Then, devour (within a week).


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Buttermilki Doll Pie

Baking, Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Dessert, Pie, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were cast in slasher film, Screech! Eve finally got to have the moment she has been craving, slaying the narrator role (that she refused to let anyone else even consider playing. Gia and Adriana also both slayed the game, while poor Synthia Kiss bombed and sweet Stephanie was one note. And as the Sidney Prescott inspired Final Girl, that got old very quickly. As such, she and Gia had to lip sync for their lives, with my love Stephanie cut from the competition. Ironically. Maybe? Right, Alanis?

Backstage the dolls toasted to sweet Stephanie’s run before Synthia shared how galvanized she is to have survived a lip sync and warned her sisters that she is now ready for every challenge that could be thrown at her. We also learnt she flung a necklace during the lip sync and almost slashed Stephanie which is a timely reminder that drag is not a contact sport. After congratulating Adriana on her success, the dolls got out of drag while Suki was just thrilled to have one less person to battle.

The next day Kendall was serving granny realness with her jokes before Eve threatened the girls that this will be the week she finally takes out victory. Gia meanwhile was proud to be in the top two weeks in a row and vowed, like Eve, that she is ready for the win and well, one of them is winning the week and the other is going home, right?

Before I go too crazy with predictions, Brooke interrupted proceedings to open the library and get the dolls to read each other for filth. Kimora was first and destroyed Eve as badly as her hole, Gia meanwhile joined the Eve pile on calling out the bark-cry. Adriana read Gia for being low-rent Gia Goode and Kimora’s flappy lashes, Eve went for Gia’s track record, Pythia just called Suki a bitch, Suki called out Kimora talking shit, Kendall tried to read Icesis’ looks before she turned it around and destroyed her instead. She then got her time to shine and totally eviscerated her competition. And then Synthia read Brooke and Kendall’s grey titties. But obviously victory went to Icesis because she was far and away the best.

But enough about reading, because the dolls learnt that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they will be playing the Snatch Game. And with that news, Eve was thrilled as they split up to get into character, reiterating how prepared she is for her first victory. Suki, Kendall and Pythia were meanwhile terrified about the challenge ahead, though Kendall gave them all a pep talk to not worry about getting the character and instead just focus on being funny.

Brooke returned to kiki with the dolls where we learnt that Icesis would be playing La Veneno, ready to slay the icon and make her trans drag mother proud. Pythia meanwhile was going to be playing Grimes which scares me, because Grimes is scary. Adriana is going with fellow Columbian Sofia Vergara while Suki is going to be doing Yoko Ono which will either slay or completely bomb, and I hope it is the former. KImora will be playing Leslie Jones, Gia is going with Anna Faris in Housebunny or Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura, Kendall is playing her spiritual mother Kris Jenner while Synthia was going with judge Brad’s nemesis Rachel Zoe while Eve was debating between Jennifer Coolidge and Bernie Sanders. And given how confident she is, I feel she is ready for a fall.

When it came to Snatch Game – featuring Brad and Boman Martinez-Reid as contestants – Pythia started out slow and a little cerebral while Kimora had all the energy of Leslie Jones. Icesis meanwhile read herself from the start while Kendall had no Kris but was charming. Suki was not bringing the funny, Gia was an energetic Jim Carrey while Eve was too focused on the characterisation rather than the funny. Adriana was a little flat, though when she was sitting next to a pitch-perfect Rachel from Synthia, it was hard to shine. Synthia bounced off everyone and made sure she had only killer moments. Oh and Icesis’s No Veneno was hilarious and I live for her.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls quickly splitting up to get ready while Eve was frustrated that she just floated through Snatch Game without any moments. Suki tried to check in and make sure that she was ok which led to Eve cussing her out for daring to ask. Ugh. Suki meanwhile shared that a lack of representation makes her feel like a filler queen in the cast because a lot of the time, she is expected to lean into stereotypes. Pythia agreed how challenging that can be, though reminded Suki that they should be proud that they are able to be the representation they lacked, for other people. And of course, Eve jumped in for a hug to make sure she is part of yet another moment.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Connor Jessup as the dolls served looks on the Made in Canada Runway where they were tasked with paying homage to a Canadian scene stealer. Kimora went Josephine Baker by way of Deborah Cox in a stunning, yellow Showgirl look. Synthia was gorgeous in a yellow Gale Weathers suit in honour of Jeanie Becker. Suki was perfection in a gorgeous mod look in honour of Sandra Oh, Adriana’s outfit was a bit of a mess as a biker Sandra Dee aka Vanessa Morgan. Gia meanwhile was the sexiest Austin Powers known to man,  Kendall did Stacey McKenzie proud in a gorgeous red gown. Eve was sexy in a black latex Matrix-inspired look while Icesis was a minty delight in honour of Sandra Oh’s Grey’s roots while Pythia was hilarious as Catherine O’Hara as Moira Rose as Dr Clara Mandrake, mid-crow-ening.

Kimora, Synthia, Adriana, Suki, Eve and Pythia were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week. As the rest of the queens went to untuck, the judges praised Kimora for being funny despite giving one note. That being said, everyone rightly lived for her runway. Synthia received universal praise for her Snatch Game and runway, Adriana was read for giving nothing in Snatch Game, despite the judges loving her runway. Suki knew that her sense of humour didn’t lend itself to the character of Yoko Ono, though her runway received glowing praise. Eve was praised for her characterisation of Bernie, though everything else was read for being a mess. Thankfully, they lived for her runway too. Pythia received universal praise for Snatch Game and her runway, which means that maybe I was too harsh because Grimes scares me.

Backstage the safe queens quickly checked in on the tops and bottoms, with Adriana feeling like she would be lip syncing while Eve was angry that Connor didn’t like her hair. Suki meanwhile was ok with the fact she is clearly in the bottom with the girls proud of her attitude to just pick herself up and keep positive. Something I assume they all think Eve could do a little more of, given Icesis is well and truly ready for her to go.

Ultimately Synthia took out a very well deserved victory meaning Pythia and Kimora were sent to safety, while at the other end of the pack, Adriana managed to narrowly avoid lip syncing leaving Suki and Eve to battle for safety. As soon as Happiness by KAPRI started, Eve vowed to fight. Out of the gate, she served camp and sexy, while Suki worked the runway and looked like the icon she is. Tragically though, it was not enough, as Eve lived to cry another day as my love Suki exited the competition.

Suki eventually found me backstage, following the sound of my Eve-esque bark-sobs to a pile of her iconic costumes. As I held them, willing her back into the competition, she gently grabbed my hand, pulled me up and assured me that everything will be ok. She will be ok. And with that, we got to work kiki-ing and reconnecting before toasting to her success in the competition with a gorgeous Buttermilki Doll Pie.

Yeah, yeah – this may be a little old fashioned, but that also means it is a classic. And classics are classic for a reason (which reminds me, I guess the dolls are the dolls). Velvety smooth custard, held in the warm embrace of the shortest of shortcrusts with a dash of sugar and spice. Sign. Me. Up.

Enjoy!

Buttermilki Doll Pie
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
250g plain flour, plus more for dusting
½ tsp cinnamon
50g icing sugar
125g unsalted butter, cubed
iced water, as needed
4 eggs
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup butter, melted and cooled
1 cup buttermilk
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp kosher salt

Method
Chuck the flour, cinnamon and icing sugar in a food processor and quickly blitz to remove any lumps. Add the unsalted butter and blitz until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it isn’t coming together, add ice cold water a tablespoon at a time, blitzing after each addition. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling film and place in the fridge to chill for half an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 3-4mm thick. Place into a pie dish, trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Line and add baking weights before transfering to the oven and blind-baking for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.

As things get chill, whisk the remaining eggs and the raw caster sugar until fully combined and a little foamy. Add three tablespoons of flour, the butter, buttermilk, lemon zest and juice, vanilla and kosher salt, and whisk until it is a beautiful, smooth, creamy liquid.

Pour into the pie crust and pop it in the oven to bake for ten minutes before reducing the heat to 160C and baking for a further 40 minutes, or until golden and just set. Remove from the oven to rest for an hour before devouring, just warm, with a dusting of icing sugar.


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Dark and Stormphanie Prince

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Drink, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls starred in the original rusical, Under the Big Top. And damn, let’s just say that the queens put the great in the great north. Pythia, Synthia and Gia slayed from start to finish, while Icesis got trapped in her head and poor Oceane was a couple of steps behind. Ultimately it was Pythia that rose to the top while last week’s winner Icesis landed in the bottom, though did manage to save herself as sweet Océane exited the competition.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to lose such an iconic queen, until they realised she wrote a full-blown farewell letter as her mirror message while her dear friend Icesis focused on the fact she just slayed the lip sync. While everyone else meanwhile felt nervous that Icesis now proved you can go from top to bottom in the blink of an eye and as such, they need to stay on their games. The queens congratulated Pythia for her killer win before Beth once again started to sob, heartbroken to still be in the competition when someone as iconic as Océane went home. Though she did apologise for cussing out Kendall, so all’s well that ends well. Maybe.

The next day Pythia’s head looked over the dolls like a (no shade) more polished Ornacia as Ru delivered a cryptic message referencing horror movies. Which Amanda quickly explained was because this week they will be tasked with over-acting in the horror movie, Screech! And as the last victor, Pythia was given the job of casting the roles.

As Amanda fled, the dolls sat down to read through the script with Beth quickly identifying the role that she wanted before they even digested the first page. Beth quickly shut down Stephanie when she suggested that she would also like the narrator role. Icesis won rock, paper, scissors to get the butch role, Suki was thrilled to be playing horny, Kendall was Brooke, Adriana was Brad, Synthia was Amanda and well, the rest weren’t as simple to identify. So sorry!

The dolls split up to read their lines with Stephanie admitting that she routinely sees ghosts while suffering sleep paralysis. Which is a sentence which will now haunt my dreams and make me share the experience, no doubt! Synthia meanwhile was stressed about getting a role that she didn’t relate to and was worried about how she will pull it off, while Adriana was ready to slay, despite not exactly getting what the word ‘ominous’ means. Kimora meanwhile was thrilled to play the nerdy screamer and then she and Icesis moaned, which was both terrifying and erotic. 

Everyone started to get in drag to film with Kendall sharing that Halloween was her first experience in drag and also is her sobriety date and as such, this is a meaningful challenge for her. She opened up about how hard she has fought to stay sober and ugh, I love how vulnerable and zaddy she is.

Amanda was joined by Fefe Dobson to direct the girls’ movie with Stephanie at an 11 at all times – and eating her hair – leading to Amanda requesting that she take a cheeky step back. Suki meanwhile was encouraged to go as horny as possible before Eve was praised for finally letting go and having fun in the challenge. Icesis lived for her butch drag, Kendall was hilarious as she read Brooke while Synthia was struggling with all the Handmaid’s Tale references of her character and damn, it was hard to watch because I love her so damn much.

Elimination Day arrived with Eve ready to take out her first victory while Synthia was terrified and mentally preparing to be in the bottom. Despite the fact Stephanie thought she was being genuine with her self praise, bless. The dolls started to prepare for the runway with Eve sharing that her father doesn’t know that she does drag and isn’t aware of the show, despite trying to bond more over the last few years. Gia shared that she was scared for her father to see her in drag until he turned up at a club one night and cheered her on, in the kind of heartwarming story I love on Drag Race.

And then poor Adriana shared the most fucked up story where her father’s side of the family was so homophobic that her father straight up catfished her first boyfriend to ruin the relationship. Fucked. Up. Jerk.

On the Good Girl Gone Bad Runway, Suki went from saint to sinner in the best way possible. Eve was a greyed out Marilyn, Stephanie was the sluttiest Dorothy Gale, Synthia was a green and black delight, Gia was a bacteria riddled glamazon, Pythia was a gorgeously possessed nun, Kimora gave us Papal Realness in a pageant circa Ancient Rome. Kendall too went from nun to devil in a far sexier reveal while Adriana was a stunning Marie Antoinette prior to the guillotine while Icesis was a sexy, yellow bunny.

When it came to the movie, Eve truly did slay the performance as the narrator. Icesis was hilarious as a dude bro, Kimora was delightfully nerdy while Stephanie was tragically one note. Gia played bimbo to perfection while Adriana was demented perfection as Brad. Though sadly, Synthia truly did struggle as A-martha, aka Amanda while Pythia was a demented Fairusa Balk. The long lost drag daughter of the slutty Suki. Oh but most importantly – spoiler alert – Jimbo was the killer and Stephanie – gay gasp – the only survivor.

Which was ironic, because Kimora, Icesis, Pythia and Suki were the ones sent to safety before the judges heaped praise on Eve, with them particularly proud of her finally shining. Stephanie was read for being one note, despite being great in that one note. They did love her runway, though. Synthia was read for being bland while Gia was praised for being so open to feedback and giving a delightfully camp runway. Despite her epic speech about her bravery for asking questions. Kendall was read for not taking the role far enough and preferring to improv her lines, despite the judges liking her look. Adriana meanwhile received universal praise for everything she did in the challenge and for serving a perfect look on the runway. 

Backstage the dolls identified Eve as one of the tops before she and the rest of the dolls returned from the mainstage. Eve was proud to not cry while Stephanie shocked them with the fact she will clearly be in the bottom. Kendall shared that she was also in the bottom, disappointed that she let herself down and may be lip syncing against her dear friend Synthia. Aka the other bottom. Eve felt Gia got more praise than her, while Adriana shared that her look was positively beloved. Stephanie meanwhile started to break down and while I get it, I wish she was prepping for the lip sync because I need her to fight.

Ultimately Gia was sent to safety, handing Adriana her first victory of the season. After Eve joined the rest of the safe girls, Kendall narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Synthia and Stephanie to battle it out for safety. And girl, it was murder on the dance floor from the very frist bars of Fefe Dobson’s Ghost. Synthia came out of the gate ready to save herself, hitting every damn lyric and all the emotions while Stephanie gave sexy, camp and comedy. While I was thrilled to see my dear Synthia survive, I was heartbroken that it came at the cost of my love, Stephanie Prince.

As she joined me in the Werk Room, I quickly pulled Stephanie in for a hug and told her how proud of her I was. While she only lasted three episodes, Stephanie’s charm and talent shined bright, and well, I am going to miss her. After processing all that emotion, we laughed, cried and then settled in for a delightful Dark and Stormphanie Prince each.

You know me, if it’s gots alcohol, I’ve gots to have it. But this one is pretty damn sweet to boot. I mean, sure, it is simple but how can you go past a dark and stormy? You just can’t!

Enjoy!

Dark and Stormphanie Prince
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
ice
30ml dark rum
1 cup ginger beer
a lime wedge

Method
Place ice in a highball glass and pour over the rum.

Top with ginger beer and squeeze in the lime wedge.

Down. Repeat.


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Pistachiocéane Aqua-Blacone

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Dessert, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 new dolls entered the new and improved wérk room, with less use of the word ‘sissy’ but tragically also missing Lemon as Jojo Siwa. To welcome them to the competition, Brooke and the new judges Brad Goreski and Amanda Brugel tasked them with designing some getting to know you outfits using items left over in their coat check. Aka Haute Check Couture. While Icesis absolutely slayed the challenge and took out a very well-deserved victory, Gia, Eve and Beth were among the worst. While Eve narrowly avoided the bottom, she sobbed her way to safety while Gia and Beth lip synced for their live with sweet Beth tragically exiting first.

The surviving queens returned to the Wérk Room to discover that Beth had smeared an entire lipstick across the mirrors on her way out the door. Despite going home first, Kendall Gender was proud of Beth for showing how talented she is, while Eve was just thrilled that Gia was kinda-sorta knocked down a peg. Talk turned to Icesis’ killer win, though Pythia was struggling to understand how she was just safe given her design skills. Oh and speaking of struggle, Océane just wanted to de-drag and get off her feet.

The next day was rightfully Gia shady about Eve sobbing her way to join the rest of her safe sisters, while Synthia just felt she was doing too much for the moment. Like young Milk before her. The kiki was interrupted by Brad and Queen Traci Melchor to put the girls to the test in a Queen of their Neighbourhood mini, challenge, pageant. Eleganza extravaganza. To the gawds. Brings it to you every ball. Ladies and gentleman, introducing …

Sorry, I started to malfunction. 

In the pageant, Adriana looked like the sluttiest Cinderella, Eve was the hottest of hot messes complete with an eggplant bag. Océane was an icon as poutine, Icesis was straight up royal guard, Gia was a slutty Gen Z, Kimora served a widow to vamp reveal, Kendall was loved up as a heart, Suki was River’s iconic runway, Synthia was a mod mama, Pythia too was channelling River, though had a better look than Suki. Oh and then Stephanie Prince was a sparkly stripper and ugh, I love her so much.

Rightly so, Océane took out victory but before we could process that, Brad and Traci announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would star in Under the Big Top: The  Rusical. Which would be performed live on the mainstage in front of the panel, just to make it that much more stressful. Which filled Stephanie with terror. Oh and the dolls could all fight for the rolls, rather than have Océane assign the rolls as is oft the reward for a mini challenge  win. Pythia opted for the role of Hennywise, Synthia requested Corset, Gia wanted the small closer of Himbo, Kimora meanwhile was trying to avoid singing while Kendall was just ready to sell it, rather than necessarily nailing any singing. Suki, Icesis and Stephanie meanwhile were fighting for two dance only roles, ultimately vogueing for them leaving Suki with the last role nobody wanted. Which is never great come judging.

With that out of the way, the dolls split up to rehearse with Stephanie and Icesis going method as they sat around reading the dolls for absolute filth.

We then got whiplash as the dolls ventured to the mainstage to work through their vocals, with Pythia giddy to be working with Broadway legend Thom Allison while slaying the comedy of her role. Synthia meanwhile hit every damn note and shit, she can SING. Kendall was getting an A for effort and damn, her struggles to find a key was delightful. The characters of Bing, Bang and Bong were a damn mess, and Bimini and the dawls need to sue their actors ASAP. Gia sounded like Adore in the Season 6 rusical, giving me full You’re Going to Love Me Ts. Eve meanwhile was super confident and well, it was misplaced.

The dolls then got to work on the choreography with Hollywood Jade with Stephanie and Icesis quickly put through their paces, and ugh, I hope their struggles were a fake-out edit because I love them both. Kimora slayed her low-rent Bianca Del Rio character’s moves, before team Bing Bang Bong, bing bang bombed once again.

Elimination Day rolled around with the dolls anxiously beating their mugs, with Adriana sharing how nervous she is to be rapping in English given it is her second language. She bonded with Suki and Stephanie about moving to Canada when they were young and the difficulties of growing up with racism and homophobia. Océane opened up about how she was abandoned as a baby in the forest in Haiti before being adopted by her parents and moving to Canada and shit, that is an intense story and I feel we didn’t even hear the half of it.

The judges were joined by Hollywood Jade for the premiere of the rusical and well damn, it was GOOD. Synthia opened the show with a showstopping bang, Kendall sold the hell out of her role, Suki, Adriana and Océane were charming despite the messiness, Icesis and Stephanie were glamorous albeit not exactly in time, Eve botched her reveals in a charming way but all of that meant nothing because Pythia straight up stole the show. She was wacky and weird, hitting every note and nailing all of the moves. Poor Kimora nailed it but coming after Pythia, she had an uphill battle. Particularly when Gia knocked the Meatloaf-in-Rocky Horror role out of the damn park too.

On the Circus Berzerkus runway Icesis slayed as the sexiest Harlequin to grace the planet. Gia was a red and white sexier Evil Knievil. Kendall was stunning as a lilac horse, Eve was gorgeous as Lucille Ball in a vampy lion suit. Océane served black and white circus tent realness, Synthia was stunning in technicolour stripes, while Pythia owned the show with TWO DAMN HEADS. Kimora served glamourous circus trash, Suki straight up pulled a puppet out of her hat while Adriana gave us a flaming, alien tightrope walker while Stephanie was a stunning bearded lady.

Ultimately Icesis, Kendall, Suki, Océane, Gia, Pythia and Eve were deemed the tops and bottoms – insert, we’re all bottoms joke – and once the safe girls disappeared, Suki was praised for her killer runway despite the judges feeling her performance was an absolute mess. Gia received universal praise from nailing the performance to her campy runway, the judges lived for Kendall’s commitment, praising her professionalism and ability to put on a show. Icesis meanwhile was read for being stuck in her head during the performance despite looking iconic on the runway. Eve too was praised for nailing the runway, though the judges felt her performance was very flat. Océane was praised for being a joy on stage, despite it being an absolute mess while Pythia received universal praise for literally everything she did.

The tops and bottoms joined the safe queens with Icesis gagged to likely follow her win with a lip sync. Stephanie identified Kendall, Gia and Pythia as the tops, which annoyed Eve, given Stephanie didn’t perceive her as a top. Or she wasn’t a top. Or the fact the judges judged her on her singing but not Kendall’s. Honestly, the reviews were mixed and she gets pressed easier than I do. This annoyed Gia, who read Eve for being bitchy with Eve countering that she was up against a bitchy clique. She followed it up by calling Kendall out for not being as friendly with her in the competition as in the real world and well Eve, please just stop yourself because even if it is true, you aren’t coming across as the victim. Thankfully Stephanie put a stop to the bicker, simply telling Eve that nobody hates her. 

Kendall, Eve and Gia were ultimately deemed safe, handing Pythia a well earned victory. (Side note: how was Synthia just safe)? On the flipside, Suki narrowly avoided the bottom leaving Océane to battle it out against Icesis to Girlicious’ Stupid Shit. And damn, did Icesis get her dance ability back. She was hitting every lyric as she flipped and bounced across the stage while Océane was all comedy, face and charm and I live for the two of them. Sadly, somebody had to go and given Icesis won the week before, my sweet Océane was tragically felled.

Given she is such a sweetheart, Océane took her boot in her stride and pulled me in for a  massive hug when she found me backstage. You see, after hearing her story about being abandoned in the jungle, I travelled back in time to get her advice before my star turn in the hit musical Jungle Fantasy (I was the fantasy, complete with my teen nip hanging out). While I was intending to just drop in for advice and bounce, never to be seen again, Océane’s warmth was contagious and we became the next of friends. Routinely catching up to smash a couple of Pistachiocéane Aqua-Blacones.

Ok, ok – the name is a bit shoehorned in. But when you taste these glorious mini pistachio cones, you won’t give a damn. Sweet and earthy, they are the perfect little treat to perk yourself back up again.

Enjoy!

Pistachiocéane Aqua-Blacone
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 cup raw unsalted pistachios
1/4 cup raw caster sugar
380g tin sweetened condensed milk
600ml thickened cream
1 tbsp vanilla extract
24 mini waffle cones, which I obviously bought because I am hella lazy
200g white chocolate
a couple of drops green food colouring

Method
Start by blitzing the pistachios and sugar in a high speed blender until a smooth – or as smooth as one can get – paste is formed.

Combine the condensed milk, cream, vanilla and pistachio paste in a large bowl of a stand mixer and whip on medium speed until the-softer-end-of-firm peaks form.

Transfer to a piping bag and pipe into the cones before transferring to the freezer to set for a couple of hours. If you don’t have something to sit the cones upright in, simply freeze the ice cream first and then fill the cones when it is solid.

While the cones are setting, melt the chocolate in the microwave in 10-second bursts before mixing in as much colouring as needed to give you a beautiful pistachio colour. Aka be gentle, less you want a fluro snot colour.

Dip each ice cream in the chocolate and return to the freezer to set for half an hour. Before devouring  the entire batch.


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Herb Breadth

Bread, Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race Ru blessed Brooke with her own franchise where 12 killer queens arrived and well, did they put on a show! From not being sorry aboot anything, to big days and the amazingness of Jojo Siwa’s hairwa, the dolls worked their way into my heart. Sadly not all of them could split the prize – I asked – so while Lemon couldn’t tap dance her way to the crown, Priyanka narrowly pipped Rita Baga and Scarlet Bobo, officially making her Bebe of the North.

But that was last year!

First up to serve their Canadian bacon in the upgraded Werk Room was Gia Metric who is shiny, bright and looks like a young Kelly Mantel but from space. She was joined by Kimora Amour in a stunning black crow bodysuit, serving old school glamour. Pythia joined them and was a pink, puffy delight giving me mullet-less Crystal Method realness. And damn, was she ready for the win. Eve 6000 had curves in all the right places and was charming in a two-tone number. Oh and has drama with Gia Metric, so I live.

Suki Doll slayed in an architectural red dress and stunningly elaborate wig. It was a serve and ugh, I love her too. Adriana shuffled in in a mermaid gown and for the comedy alone, I live for her. Beth arrived with a neon wig, slutty lilac number and social anxiety, so basically, I relate to her on a deep, deep level. Oh and she too has drama with Gia. Icesis was stunning, looking like Raven in an avant garde tartan number. She is cute, silly and charming, so I love her. Océane Aqua-Black arrived, slaying in a pink bodysuit and coat combo and giving off the vibe of Latrice’s charm in her first season. With the kookiness of Yara Sofia. 

Stephanie Prince loves cilantro which is a questionable take, though she slayed in a slutty, sexy Ronald McDonald number and I live. Oh and then Kendall Gender arrived, gagging all the other queens, serving body and well, flooding my basement out of drag. Rounding out the cast is Synthia Kiss and she too is fucking stunning out of drag and can serve a look, whilst also being crazy. Oh and she, Gia and Kendall are besties. So my future throuple with Kendall and Synthia should be an easy suggestion to make.

Before I could make my proposition, Brooke Lynn Hytes arrived to welcome the dolls to her competition. Before Brad Goreski wheeled himself out along with the iconic Amanda Brugel, the two new judges for the season (along with former Kitty Girl Tracy Melchor, but it was her off week). But enough about introductions because the dolls were immediately put to work in their opening mini challenge – a photoshoot jumping from a balcony into fire. Aka Dant-gay’s Inferno. 

Gia was graceful and sexy, Suki pulled out a killer shot despite a rough landing and Eve just pencil dived like a young Denise Drysdale. Oh and then she got stuck in the foam pit, so I love her. So much. Kimora clucked like a chicken while putting her feathers to use, Pythia SERVED, Stephanie was serious, Synthia was stunning, Beth just went for it while Icesis almost drowned in her fringing, though looked amazing. Kendall put her hair to use, Adriana slayed and Oceane struggled in the funniest way possible. Well except for the fact she heard her knee crack like Victoria and Eureka before her.

The dolls reconvened backstage and got to work dedragging with Pythia’s basement, like mine, well and truly flooded. Before they could couple up however, the judges returned to announce that Suki rightly took out the first victory of the season. Oh and now it was time for their first Maxi Challenge, where they needed to create a premiere party eleganza couture look from items left in a fake coat check. But they couldn’t wear the clothes as is, instead needing to design something that shows who they are. And as is customary, Suki was given an extra 30 seconds to rummage before the dolls joined her. And join her they did, knocking over running rails and pillaging anything they could find.

Well, except for Beth who was too picky and ended up with next to nothing.

As the dolls split up to take stock of their haul and come up with a game plan, we learnt that Oceane wanted to rock a stunning gown, though instead decided it would be best to go the comedy route to work around her busted knee. Beth meanwhile was stressed about designing with unconventional materials and given Pythia was nervous about her plan, maybe she should worry. And poor Stephanie meanwhile was planning to sew some fabric to a corset, which immediately made the dolls nervous given it is a cardinal sin of drag race.

Suki was planning to be draped, flowy, meshy, complete with cut-outs and well, I’m nervous. Not nervous though is Eve 6000, who is confident in her design ability, despite the fact she has never sewed before. Icesis was going to rock ticket stubs while Adriana was going in the pink. Oh and she sees Icesis’ hot nurse partner and raises her a hot doctor as her man. And well, I love this amazing duo.

Elimination Day rolled around as poor Océane hobbled in while the dolls spoke about the importance of selling their looks more so than looking the best. Synthia meanwhile was nervous about losing the first girl, while Icesis was trying to block everything out and focus on beating her mug. Beth and Synthia kikied with the former admitting that Synthia and the Brat Pack girls inspired her to do drag, while Kendall worried that Beth would get stuck in her head and wouldn’t be able to finish her look. Oh and then we were gagged to learn that Kimora has a 17 year old son and damn, she looks good given she has a near adult.

Océane then admitted that she beats her mug without contact lenses or her glasses and ugh, I love her. So much.

The judges were joined by Caitlin Cronenberg on the panel for the debut of the dolls Haute Check Couture looks with Pythia looking like a demented Marge Simpson in a neon figure hugging rouched gown. Kendall served sexy-kitty  Dita Von Teese, Adriana was a charming mess in a pink and orange gown with a huge damn hat. Oceane was completely demented as the last drunk girl to exit the races, Beth was a curvy delight in a black and white number, Suki was STUNNING in a stunning – did I mention that? – green gown, complete with a bunch of awkward stumbles on the hem.

Eve 6000 was a slutty Hollywood glamazon serving horror snatch. Stephanie Prince was gorgeous in an architectural trans flag coloured gown, Gia Metric was kooky and pastel with a gorgeous permed wig. Icesis was avant garde and beautiful in a Westwood suit-dress, ticket gown, Kimora was a quinceanera delight, giving me Anita from West Side Story. Synthia meanwhile wore a golden jumpsuit and while she was stunning, it felt a little basic.

Pythia, Kendall, Adriana, Océane, Kimora and Synthia were sent to safety to untuck before the judges praised Beth for her bodice, along with her creativity. Though felt her dress was unfinished and she was trapped in her head on the runway. Though Brad surprisingly gave her a sweet peptalk and maybe I do love him? Suki was praised for looking stunning, though read for not putting many unconventional materials in her look. Eve was read for being unfinished, despite the judges living for her concept. Stephanie was praised for her polish and killer concept, particularly how well she designed for her body. Gia was praised for her confidence on the runway, though her look was read as a bit of a mess that misunderstood the assignment. And then Icesis received universal praise for everything she did, from her head to her toes.

Though Brooke wished her dress was shorter.

Backstage the tops and bottoms caught the dolls up with Gia and Eve battling for their place in the bottom two, while Beth stayed silent. Icesis spoke about her surprise at all the praise she received, given she has so much self-doubt. The dolls praised Océane for how well she sold the look, while Beth admitted that she is not confident. She then started to break down, leading to Kimora having to give her a pep talk. 

Ultimately Icesis rightly took out the first victory over Suki and Stephanie, while Eve 600 narrowly avoided the bottom, leaving Beth and Gia to battle it out to my girl Nelly Furtado’s Maneater. Well after Eve sobbed to snatch a moment for five minutes. But when they got the chance to battle, boy did they battle. Beth was humping the stage, Gia was hitting every corner and stripping off. Which appeared to give her the edge as Gia was saved, again with the tears, while poor Beth became the porkchop of the season. Or Juice Boxx 2.0.

As soon as I saw how disappointed poor Beth was, I pulled her in for a massive hug and got to work doing my best drunk-person-you-met-in-the-bathroom. Through gritted teeth I madly explained how talented and perfect she is and to not let her departure get her down. I’m not sure if it was the fact my intensity made her nervous or whether she was truly feeling better, but she assured me that she would bounce back, knows she is a star and to not worry about her. Which was exactly the right thing to say to get me to relax enough to serve a big ol’ batch of Herb Breadth.

I know, I know – garlic bread is the best. Particularly when you add so much garlic it burns – thanks Karl! But I will fight to the death in defense of the majesty that is herb bread. The delicate combination of herbs work together to pack a punch, melting away in your mouth and taking all your troubles with it.

Enjoy!

Herb Breadth
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
2 baguettes
100g butter, at room temperature
¼ cup parmesan
¼ cup fresh parsley, roughly chopped
2 tbsp fresh thyme leaves
2 tbsp fresh sage, roughly chopped
2 tbsp fresh oregano, roughly chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Method
Preheat the oven to 180°C.

Combine the butter, parmesan and herbs in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper, and stir to combine. You could also add a pinch of chilli flakes if you want, but no pressure.

Cut the baguettes into 2cm slices, leaving joined at the bottom. Spread the herb butter generously between the cuts and wrap each baguette in foil.

Place the herb bread in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, or until golden, crisp and glorious. Devour immediately.


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Ho Canada!

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Once again, the gay Gods are keeping us fed as yet another franchise returns to our screens in the form of Canada’s Drag Race.

Remember those quaint early years when there was such a thing as an off season?

While we’re tragically losing Queen Stacey McKenzie and zaddy Jeffrey from the panel, I have faith that Brooke will still be able to serve us another season of the meatiest Canadian bacon ever.

So strap in or on, whatever you’d prefer, and get ready to be dazzled by the lights of the north. Hopefully with even more denim, Celine, poutine and the Pit Crew most likely to flood my basement and leave me dripping.

Check back next week as we’re joined by the first queen to get the boot.

Image source: Crave.


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