Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls faced up to Snatch Game. Though not before reading each other for absolute filth after Brooke opened the library. While Icesis took out victory in the reading challenge, she was less successful in her impersonation of La Veneno, despite it being hilarious. Not so hilarious however was poor Suki who struggled to translate her sense of humour to Yoko Ono. Ultimately Synthia slayed as Rachel Zoe and took out a very well-earned victory. On the flipside, Eve’s perfect Bernie Sanders lacked any jokes, landing her in the bottom with Suki who was tragically eliminated from the competition.

Backstage Pythia was heartbroken to lose her fellow Montreal sister while Eve relished her time in front of the mirror, dramatically reading the message and cleaning it away while the rest of her sisters praised Suki for being such a bright spark in the competition. The dolls sat down to kiki and praised Synthia for her very well earned victory, while Kimora was just gagged to not be safe rather than gagged by being in the top. Adriana spoke about how surprised she was to not lip sync, which Eve agreed with given she felt Adriana did far worse than her. Which, TBH, is true, to an extent.

I mean, Bernie was on point. Just not funny, not even in a bad way.

The next day the dolls were living their best lives thanks to the joy of still being in the competition, meaning Kendall thought it would be a good idea to stir some drama and ask Eve if she still thinks she didn’t belong in the bottom. While she still felt she didn’t belong in the bottom two, Traci arrived to distract them with some sexy teacher, sex-education quick drag before we could getting any real drama. After slapping on a coat of paint, Kimora and Icesis were up first looking like the horniest librarians and living for their condoms. Synthia and Gia were demented in a Drop Dead Gorgeous/Banana kinda way which somehow worked. Eve and Kendall looked like they were on different shows, while Pythia and Adriana were charming and amazing. Ultimately Synthia and Gia took out victory, complete with $5K of condoms from Trojan.

But enough about the frangas, Traci then announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge the dolls would be required to form country girl groups and write and record their own lyrics to the TayTay-esque revenge anthem – Bye Flop! For winning the mini challenge, Synthia and Gia were deemed team captains with Synthia opting to form her band with Kendall, Kimora and Eve while Gia, Pythia, Icesis and Adriana made their rivals. With that, the bands split up to get a feel for the song, with Eve suggesting that Team Synthia should be called the Dosey Hoes and assured them that they will easily dominate their rivals. Meanwhile Icesis was also nervous about how their group would go, given Pythia and Adriana were nervous and a little timid.

Traci returned to kiki with the girls with Team Synthia locking in the name Dosey Hoes before Kimora shared that her verse will be about cheating scum. Which is v. TayTay. Eve spoke about her extensive song writing experience and assured Traci that she was ready to shine. We were then reminded that Kendall and Synthia have a history working in a group together and ugh, their confidence will get them, won’t it? Team Gia introduced themselves as the Giddy Girls and while they were all nervous about the song, they seemed ready to come together and make it work. Whatever it may end up being.

The Dosey Hoes were first up to record their verses with the iconic Bif Naked and poor Eve appeared to get in her head from the start and hold back during her performance. Kimora meanwhile was stupid and fun in all the right ways, completely slaying in the process. Kendall gave twang and only twang, while Synthia gave twang and killer vocals. Meanwhile the Giddy Girls knocked it out of the park from the get go. Gia was feeling her oats, Icesis gave rap queen while Adriana was dropping so many languages that while she appeared to struggle, I can see her slaying. And well, Pythia was just the best and I love her. As does Bif, who wanted to join their band.

When it came to choreography, the Dosey Hoes followed Kendall’s lead who gave everyone simple but impactful moves and well, they were really sweet so I love them. Kimora however just wished they had a choreographer because there appeared to be too many cooks in the kitchen. And Eve wasn’t sure she could slay some moves, but annoyed Synthia who just wished she had solutions as well as complaints. As for the Giddy Girls, Gia meanwhile was feeling the pressure of being the team captain as nobody wanted to commit to making a suggestion leaving her to feel solely responsible for whatever ends up happening.

Elimination Day arrived with Adriana ready to top again before the dolls split up to get ready for their performance. Kimora educated the girls about country music’s roots in the black community. Talk turned to Icesis’ drag family with her admitting that her little brother is her drag daughter and ugh, they are so damn cute and I love them both. Synthia opened up about the fact her dad is gay and that they both came out of the closet at the same time, and how she worries about her dad’s confidence. But ultimately hopes the experience of Drag Race helps him come out of his shell.

Bif Naked joined Brooke, Brad and Traci on the judges panel for the debut performances of Bye Flop! with the Giddy Girls first to drop their single. From the very start they were delightfully country and totally cohesive, and well, they slayed the entire performance, hitting every lyric and making the choreography look amazing despite its simplicity. The Dosey Hoes meanwhile came out fighting, bright and fun, selling the hell out of the performance despite not being as strong as a group.

The dolls followed up their performances by walking the Monochromatica runway, serving futuristic pop princess realness. Adriana was gorgeous in a bright blue Gaga inspired number. Icesis was a golden delight, Pythia was sea-sickening in a lime jellyfish look while Gia was a gorgeous lilac robot. Synthia was a delight in a velvet, mushroom pink gown while Kendall served sexy hip-hop Big Bird, Eve looked perfect in a blue, robot bodysuit while Kimora was gorgeous in a white gown, channelling all of the divas.

Ultimately the Giddy Girls took out victory in this week’s challenge with Gia ultimately taking out the win, after Brooke did a cute little moment pretending that she didn’t. Obviously this led to another pageant speech from Gia before the rest of her band were sent to untuck with her.

Left to face the judges, Synthia admitted that she felt pressure in the challenge being the team leader. While she was praised for slaying the performance, the judges felt she didn’t give enough on the runway. Nor did she help her sisters learn their choreography. Kendall was read for giving current pop star, not futuristic, as was her verse for being basic, despite selling the hell out of it. Eve was praised for looking good on the runway, though her performance was read for just being a mess given she missed all the choreography and appeared bored. And the fact the judges have given her a tonne of feedback and she just doesn’t seem to be getting it. While Kimora received universal praise for just being fun and looking like a treat. Despite showing her panties at the back.

The victors were feeling their oats as they untucked before the losing team arrived to fill them in on the tea. Kimora pointed out her look was praised, though the judges hated her VPL. Kendall said she did well despite them hating her verse while Eve was disappointed to get the same critique from the judges week after week. Leading to Synthia trying to perk her up, which obviously made the situation worse. Synthia meanwhile was nervous that she would be in the bottom simply because she was the team captain.

Ultimately Kimora and Kendall were deemed safe, leaving Synthia to battle Eve to survive on account of her being the team captain. Just as she feared. As Bif Naked’s I Love Myself Today kicked off both of the dolls were ready to fight, though poor Eve just felt a little flat. As Synthia gave it her all, Eve hit every lyric and gave us the moments we needed but you could tell the weeks of tough critiques were still playing on her mind. As such, Synthia was sent to safety while poor Eve found herself exiting the competition.

I followed the sound of the bark crying to find Eve mournfully packing her bags and after scaring her upon slinking in, I pulled her in for a hug and reminded her how damn talented she is. While she was disappointed to not get a truly victorious moment in the competition, I reminded her that she provided countless memorable moments, slayed the rusical and did give a great, thespian style impersonation of Bernie Sanders. And while that didn’t get her the win, it makes her good enough TV for an All Stars redemption, which honestly, is better than winning sometimes. With that, we laughed, we cried and toasted her success with a cool jug of Eve 6000 Island Dressing.

Full disclosure, given I hate seafood I spent most of my life needlessly hating on Thousand Island Dressing. Then I learnt it is similar to Mac Sauce and have essentially been bathing in it every since. Tangy, sweet and gorgeously creamy, it is the perfect accompaniment to fish, chips, burgers and post-boot pain.

Enjoy!

Eve 6000 Island Dressing
Makes: 1 ½ cups.

Ingredients
1 cup Shayonnaise Swain
½ small onion, finely diced
2 tbsp ketchup
2 tbsp gherkin relish
1 tsp champagne vinegar
½ tbsp sweet paprika
¼ tbsp kosher salt
pinch of freshly ground pepper

Method
Place everything in a bowl and mix until well combined.

Transfer to a jar and pop in the fridge for a few hours to let the flavours develop before serving.

Then, devour (within a week).


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