Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were cast in slasher film, Screech! Eve finally got to have the moment she has been craving, slaying the narrator role (that she refused to let anyone else even consider playing. Gia and Adriana also both slayed the game, while poor Synthia Kiss bombed and sweet Stephanie was one note. And as the Sidney Prescott inspired Final Girl, that got old very quickly. As such, she and Gia had to lip sync for their lives, with my love Stephanie cut from the competition. Ironically. Maybe? Right, Alanis?
Backstage the dolls toasted to sweet Stephanie’s run before Synthia shared how galvanized she is to have survived a lip sync and warned her sisters that she is now ready for every challenge that could be thrown at her. We also learnt she flung a necklace during the lip sync and almost slashed Stephanie which is a timely reminder that drag is not a contact sport. After congratulating Adriana on her success, the dolls got out of drag while Suki was just thrilled to have one less person to battle.
The next day Kendall was serving granny realness with her jokes before Eve threatened the girls that this will be the week she finally takes out victory. Gia meanwhile was proud to be in the top two weeks in a row and vowed, like Eve, that she is ready for the win and well, one of them is winning the week and the other is going home, right?
Before I go too crazy with predictions, Brooke interrupted proceedings to open the library and get the dolls to read each other for filth. Kimora was first and destroyed Eve as badly as her hole, Gia meanwhile joined the Eve pile on calling out the bark-cry. Adriana read Gia for being low-rent Gia Goode and Kimora’s flappy lashes, Eve went for Gia’s track record, Pythia just called Suki a bitch, Suki called out Kimora talking shit, Kendall tried to read Icesis’ looks before she turned it around and destroyed her instead. She then got her time to shine and totally eviscerated her competition. And then Synthia read Brooke and Kendall’s grey titties. But obviously victory went to Icesis because she was far and away the best.
But enough about reading, because the dolls learnt that for this week’s Maxi Challenge they will be playing the Snatch Game. And with that news, Eve was thrilled as they split up to get into character, reiterating how prepared she is for her first victory. Suki, Kendall and Pythia were meanwhile terrified about the challenge ahead, though Kendall gave them all a pep talk to not worry about getting the character and instead just focus on being funny.
Brooke returned to kiki with the dolls where we learnt that Icesis would be playing La Veneno, ready to slay the icon and make her trans drag mother proud. Pythia meanwhile was going to be playing Grimes which scares me, because Grimes is scary. Adriana is going with fellow Columbian Sofia Vergara while Suki is going to be doing Yoko Ono which will either slay or completely bomb, and I hope it is the former. KImora will be playing Leslie Jones, Gia is going with Anna Faris in Housebunny or Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura, Kendall is playing her spiritual mother Kris Jenner while Synthia was going with judge Brad’s nemesis Rachel Zoe while Eve was debating between Jennifer Coolidge and Bernie Sanders. And given how confident she is, I feel she is ready for a fall.
When it came to Snatch Game – featuring Brad and Boman Martinez-Reid as contestants – Pythia started out slow and a little cerebral while Kimora had all the energy of Leslie Jones. Icesis meanwhile read herself from the start while Kendall had no Kris but was charming. Suki was not bringing the funny, Gia was an energetic Jim Carrey while Eve was too focused on the characterisation rather than the funny. Adriana was a little flat, though when she was sitting next to a pitch-perfect Rachel from Synthia, it was hard to shine. Synthia bounced off everyone and made sure she had only killer moments. Oh and Icesis’s No Veneno was hilarious and I live for her.
Elimination Day arrived with the dolls quickly splitting up to get ready while Eve was frustrated that she just floated through Snatch Game without any moments. Suki tried to check in and make sure that she was ok which led to Eve cussing her out for daring to ask. Ugh. Suki meanwhile shared that a lack of representation makes her feel like a filler queen in the cast because a lot of the time, she is expected to lean into stereotypes. Pythia agreed how challenging that can be, though reminded Suki that they should be proud that they are able to be the representation they lacked, for other people. And of course, Eve jumped in for a hug to make sure she is part of yet another moment.
Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Connor Jessup as the dolls served looks on the Made in Canada Runway where they were tasked with paying homage to a Canadian scene stealer. Kimora went Josephine Baker by way of Deborah Cox in a stunning, yellow Showgirl look. Synthia was gorgeous in a yellow Gale Weathers suit in honour of Jeanie Becker. Suki was perfection in a gorgeous mod look in honour of Sandra Oh, Adriana’s outfit was a bit of a mess as a biker Sandra Dee aka Vanessa Morgan. Gia meanwhile was the sexiest Austin Powers known to man, Kendall did Stacey McKenzie proud in a gorgeous red gown. Eve was sexy in a black latex Matrix-inspired look while Icesis was a minty delight in honour of Sandra Oh’s Grey’s roots while Pythia was hilarious as Catherine O’Hara as Moira Rose as Dr Clara Mandrake, mid-crow-ening.
Kimora, Synthia, Adriana, Suki, Eve and Pythia were deemed the tops and bottoms of the week. As the rest of the queens went to untuck, the judges praised Kimora for being funny despite giving one note. That being said, everyone rightly lived for her runway. Synthia received universal praise for her Snatch Game and runway, Adriana was read for giving nothing in Snatch Game, despite the judges loving her runway. Suki knew that her sense of humour didn’t lend itself to the character of Yoko Ono, though her runway received glowing praise. Eve was praised for her characterisation of Bernie, though everything else was read for being a mess. Thankfully, they lived for her runway too. Pythia received universal praise for Snatch Game and her runway, which means that maybe I was too harsh because Grimes scares me.
Backstage the safe queens quickly checked in on the tops and bottoms, with Adriana feeling like she would be lip syncing while Eve was angry that Connor didn’t like her hair. Suki meanwhile was ok with the fact she is clearly in the bottom with the girls proud of her attitude to just pick herself up and keep positive. Something I assume they all think Eve could do a little more of, given Icesis is well and truly ready for her to go.
Ultimately Synthia took out a very well deserved victory meaning Pythia and Kimora were sent to safety, while at the other end of the pack, Adriana managed to narrowly avoid lip syncing leaving Suki and Eve to battle for safety. As soon as Happiness by KAPRI started, Eve vowed to fight. Out of the gate, she served camp and sexy, while Suki worked the runway and looked like the icon she is. Tragically though, it was not enough, as Eve lived to cry another day as my love Suki exited the competition.
Suki eventually found me backstage, following the sound of my Eve-esque bark-sobs to a pile of her iconic costumes. As I held them, willing her back into the competition, she gently grabbed my hand, pulled me up and assured me that everything will be ok. She will be ok. And with that, we got to work kiki-ing and reconnecting before toasting to her success in the competition with a gorgeous Buttermilki Doll Pie.
Yeah, yeah – this may be a little old fashioned, but that also means it is a classic. And classics are classic for a reason (which reminds me, I guess the dolls are the dolls). Velvety smooth custard, held in the warm embrace of the shortest of shortcrusts with a dash of sugar and spice. Sign. Me. Up.
Buttermilki Doll Pie
250g plain flour, plus more for dusting
½ tsp cinnamon
50g icing sugar
125g unsalted butter, cubed
iced water, as needed
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
½ cup butter, melted and cooled
1 cup buttermilk
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp kosher salt
Chuck the flour, cinnamon and icing sugar in a food processor and quickly blitz to remove any lumps. Add the unsalted butter and blitz until it just starts to come together. Add an egg and blitz again. If it isn’t coming together, add ice cold water a tablespoon at a time, blitzing after each addition. Once formed, shape into a disc, cover in cling film and place in the fridge to chill for half an hour or so.
Preheat the oven to 180C.
Dust a clean bench and a rolling-pin with flour and roll out the pastry until it is 3-4mm thick. Place into a pie dish, trim off any excess dough and prick the base with a fork. Line and add baking weights before transfering to the oven and blind-baking for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly golden and cooked through. Remove to a cooling rack until completely cooled.
As things get chill, whisk the remaining eggs and the raw caster sugar until fully combined and a little foamy. Add three tablespoons of flour, the butter, buttermilk, lemon zest and juice, vanilla and kosher salt, and whisk until it is a beautiful, smooth, creamy liquid.
Pour into the pie crust and pop it in the oven to bake for ten minutes before reducing the heat to 160C and baking for a further 40 minutes, or until golden and just set. Remove from the oven to rest for an hour before devouring, just warm, with a dusting of icing sugar.
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