Street Food

Vegaden Dumplaing

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Ray found himself an epic (dis)advantage at the auction, thinking he was just getting to smash some popcorn. Once again there was chaos amongst all the factions, with nobody really sure they could trust anyone. At the immunity challenge Aileen was a matter of centimetres away from winning, before she drop and gave Kitty the time to overtake and win. Back at camp Kirby wanted to work with Feras, but felt like getting rid of his right hand, Aileen, was the only way to get it done. As such, she approached the Titans to float the idea of weakening a rival pair. Clearly thinking Ri’s continued fails in the voting booth would make them look like less of a duo and more like Ri and her babysitter. At tribal council, despite some misdirects, the blindside came together and Aileen was sent home, thankfully becoming the Queen of the Jury.

The next day the tribe were slowly waking up, solemn and sleepy. Except for Kirby, who was delighted by the fact that everything came together. Ray obviously wasn’t happy to lose an ally, so confronted Kirby about why Aileen was the target, with her calmly assuring him it was because she just wants to work with Feras and sadly Aileen was never going to let that happen. The fact she and Feras were buddying up got people noticing, as Caroline pointed out to Alex that maybe he isn’t as close to some people as he thought. And as such, he started to question his position in the game. Kitty joined them, as Ri, Kirby, Jaden and Feras went to catch up at the well to lock in a final four deal, agreeing that Ray would be a great fifth, with Alex a lovely sixth. Well, if he can learn to trust Kirby. Feras then suggested they all load their votes on Val at the next tribal council, this time to weaken Mark. 

Because if there is one thing this season is going to give, it is taking out the allies rather than the threats.

While the new majority kikied, Caroline, Kitty and Alex went to chat with Valeria and Mark to lock in a potential new alliance, to at least give them a fighting chance. Everyone came together back at the shelter where Kitty was absolutely panicking at camp, knowing they are in a pickle and as such, she needs to put her feelings aside. After getting Caroline to agree that they will still be friends after the game, Kitty caught up with Kirby to talk about joining the new, new majority to blindside her closest ally in the game.

The tribe caught up with JLP for the immunity challenge where they would each have to hang upside down on a rope over the water, moving down intervals over time until only one remained. After seconds, Ray and Jaden dropped out. A minute or two more passed before Feras and Mark fell. Everyone else made it to the next length of rope which cost Caroline, followed by Kirby, Val and Kitty, leaving Alex and Rianna fighting for immunity. After 30 minutes, JLP forced them to go down to a single hand and while they were both on the edge multiple times, they managed to hold on until the one hour mark, where JLP made them go back up a section and hang on with a single hand. Which was all it took to get a result as Alex finally dropped, handing Ri immunity. Once again making it look like those bandages on her hands are rather helpful.

Back at camp the tribe quickly got to scrambling as each faction split off. First, Mark, Alex, Kitty, Caroline and Val disappeared, leaving the others to lock in their plan to get rid of Val, as Kirby straight up suggested that Alex was dead to her. No doubt because Kitty had pledged her loyalty to them. Over at the other crew, Mark was super nervous and while Val wanted to target Feras, Alex assured them that he definitely has an idol, so instead suggested they vote for Jaden. Kitty took that information back to Ri, who assured her that she and Kirby will have her back tomorrow. As Ri looped in Kirby, Jaden stumbled upon them to see what was happening before he was gagged to learn that he is now a target. 

He caught up with Caroline at the fire as she poured coconut in the rice he was cooking and then when he asked her to remove it, she called him lord Jaden. Which is so rich, given she was rude about the rice early in the game and then sleeping near Mark. So yeah, a little hypocritical. Jaden, bless, called her out for being rude, particularly when she was off strategizing while he was cooking. And while it explained his anger, she didn’t seem to buy that as the reason for his frustration. So ran to Kitty and suggested that someone had leaked the plan, going so far as to ask if she had spoken to Kirby. She denied it, but admitted she spoke to Ri. Knowing she is a shit liar, she told Caroline that she is so confused and honestly wouldn’t be shocked if she received the votes and sadly for Caroline, she bought it.

Alex finally approached Feras and Ray to see what they were thinking, admitting that he felt like they had abandoned him and as such, he was hurting. Feras, bless, felt frustrated by the conversation, so straight up walked off. Straight over to Kirby, as she suggested they just get rid of Alex tonight and do Val tomorrow instead. With him wisely opting to stick with the current plan. Back with Ray, Alex was asking if he felt secure as Ray admitted he feels like he is definitely safe with this plan. Though admitted to us that he knows he has been dragged and as such, needs to make a move, ideally with his advantage. Ray wisely asked Alex if he could vote with them without voting for Feras, which is very, very interesting. Particularly given Alex took it straight back to Mark and Valeria.

At tribal council Aileen was vibing as the Queen of the Jury before Kirby spoke about how fluid the gameplay has been all season, with everyone willing to make the most of any and all opportunities. Alex joked about flip-flopping through the tribe, with Valeria admitting it is true, but only because they are desperate to make it through, He agreed that he has had to cut ties multiple times to find a path forward, before Kirby called herself a flexible player, while saying Alex is a floater and suggested that is why she is the better player. Alex then asked what that makes Feras, with him saying he is rather immovable, though he felt he was flexible, in that he doesn’t hold a grudge. Mark suggested that sticking in your rut makes you naive to the game, before he started whispering to Ray that if he wanted to make a move, he should vote for Jaden. As Alex asked him who he should play the idol for, King Ray tragically told the truth, and suggested he play it for Valeria.

They continued to talk through plans with Kirby mouthing to Feras that she thinks Ray told them that Valeria was the target and as such, flipped the vote over to Alex. With that the tribe voted, Alex played his idol for Valeria, as the votes piled up between Jaden and Alex before Jaden was blindsided from the game as Raymond flipped to the Titans and Ri, obviously, voted incorrectly for Valeria. Because if there is one thing Ri is going to do, it is Ri the situation. As Jaden arrived at the Jury Villa, I pulled him in for a massive hug and thanked him for being such a bright light this season. While he didn’t exactly focus on the game, he was entertaining and joyful, and sometimes that is all you need to be rewarded with a piping hot batch of Vegaden Dumplaing.

Gyoza are literally never far from my mind, and these are part of the reason. Warming and altogether light and hearty, they are the perfect little parcel to wash away your disappointment.

Enjoy!

Vegaden Dumplaing
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp minced ginger
6 spring onions, sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups shiitake mushrooms, roughly chopped
1 ½ cups cabbage
1 ½ cups carrot, grated
1 cup garlic chives, finely chopped
½ tsp white pepper
½ tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp sesame oil
3 tbsp Shaoxing wine
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp raw caster sugar
salt, to taste
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Heat the vegetable oil in a large wok over medium-high heat, and cook the ginger for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add the spring onions and garlic, and stir-fry for a further minute. Add the mushrooms and cook for a few minutes, or until the released liquid has cooked off. Next, add the cabbage and carrot, cooking for a further couple of minutes until all the liquid has absorbed. Transfer to a large bowl to cool slightly.

Once it has chilled a little, add the chives, pepper, chilli, sesame oil, shaoxing wine, soy sauce, and sugar, and season with salt to taste.

To assemble, lay the wrappers on a bench and place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each. Dip a finger in water and wet the edges before folding, pleating and mashing them closed – depending on skill level or care for the aesthetic. Repeat the process until they are all gone.

To cook, get a steamer going over high heat and cook the dumplings, 5-10 at a time depending on the size, for about 5-10 minutes, or until the wrapper is gorgeously soft and silky and the filling cooked. Repeat until all dumplings are done, replenishing the water as needed. 

Devour immediately with whatever sauce you fancy, ay!


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Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pizza, Street Food, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Middle Aged Mafia were out to get revenge on Val and Mark, after they had tried (and failed) to get rid of Kitty at the tribal council before. After a hard fought battle, Ri won immunity over the other challenge beast of the season, Aileen, making her feel super smug and confident about her place in the tribe. Despite the fact she has essentially bumbled through despite herself, thus far. Kirby, Val and Mark locked in a vote against Caroline to surprise the opposition, when they would assume Kitty is still their target. While Caroline and Kitty instead tried to woo Feras to get rid of Winna. And given Winna was rude to Feras and Aileen, they gladly joined because the theme of the season is revenge. Alex and Ri were given hinky votes, to ensure a majority, leaving them and Jaden very surprised as Winna went home.

The next day things were still rainy and miserable, unless you were Kitty and Caroline, who were thrilled to have survived and taken control with Feras. We flashed back to the night before where the trio locked in an alliance, vowing not to let anyone else get in their ears and to ride it to the end. Caroline approached Mark to confront him, cussing him out for the fact he keeps gunning for her, assuring him that she has never thrown his name out. When she has, multiple times. In the cold light of day, however, she was more hurt by Valeria’s comments at tribal, as she called her worthless and weak. As Valeria caught up with Ri, Kirby and Aileen to tell them she never said anything mean at tribal, so feels really good. 

Eden and Raymond were busy serving Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, commenting on how rude Valeria was at tribal council and how the tribe is now in chaos. As Alex comforted Caroline in the shelter, Eden decided it was time to wake Jaden up and get him to stop singing and being a delight, and instead, play the game. First step being to reunite the Titans, and play the middle until all the Rebels are gone (which is also the Rebels plan). Leaving Feras as long as possible as a shield, and instead targeting people like Raymond. So apologies Eden, but I have no choice but to cancel my stan card as nobody comes for my King. Next step for Eden’s flop plan was to pull Mark aside and float it, with Mark reiterating that Kitty and Caroline hate him, so it is kind of pointless.

The tribe met up with JLP for the reward challenge where they would compete in stages. In round one they would split into two teams, racing to use water to fill buckets to release a gate. Stage two they would form two smaller teams to use monkey fists to release nine flags to progress, while the final three would race to solve a puzzle. With the winner jagging a car and an Aussie BBQ to celebrate, though tragically being cursed into losing the game. Alex quickly got his eye in for the blue team, getting the rest to fill buckets while he filled the bigger buckets, which proved effective, meaning Mark, Kitty and Valeria, and Eden, Caroline and Alex faced off in round two. Once again Alex and Eden slayed, while Caroline struggled and madly tried to release her flags. Sadly that was all it took for Mark, Valeria and Kitty to overtake and move on to round three. Which Mark absolutely dominated, handing him a car but ruling him out as our winner, I’m afraid.

After sobbing though his victory, he was given the chance to bring someone along to enjoy the reward, locking in Kitty and then Valeria, given they were both in the final round. JLP then let him pick one more, with him opting for Caroline, which immediately spooked all the Rebels into realising something was afoot. While Valeria looked ready to kill him.

Back at camp the losers rallied around, heartbroken to be starving and carless. Ri and Alex lead the tribe in talking about how odd Mark’s choices were, given it clearly pointed out that they were hoping to make some moves at the next tribal council. Though I think Eden was potentially just jealous he wasn’t eating, as the rest of the tribe laughed about Caroline and Valeria’s tension. Speaking of which, we checked in with the world’s most awkward BBQ as Valeria and Caroline refused to even look at each other, and Mark tried to get everyone to see they needed to work together. But first, they had to clear the air. Valeria kicked things off explaining why Caroline is weak, namely her emotions. Given she didn’t apologise, Caroline wasn’t thrilled and rightly pointed out it is the harshest thing anyone has ever said to her. With Valeria eventually, finally, apologising. Before they all agreed to wipe the slate clean and have new beginnings.

As Caroline told us she still doesn’t trust Mark. Ugh.

That night as the tribe slept, Jaden couldn’t sleep, so instead got to working out and vowed to us that he is ready to avenge Winna and take control. Making the most of the fact everyone is underestimating him. As he promised Eden he is going to win the next immunity challenge, he somehow time travelled and manifested JLP for the very thing. Where they would each have to balance an idol on a pole, which they would slowly have to extend over time. Everyone made it through to their fourth length of pole before Caroline dropped. She was quickly followed by Kitty and Aileen. At fifteen minutes, they added their fifth length of pole, causing Raymond and Valeria to drop before Eden’s pole straight up crumbled. Alex and Feras were next to drop as those that had been eliminated marvelled at how strong Ri is at all the challenges. They then added a sixth segment, which saw Mark and Ri drop, followed by a long-suffering Kirby, handing my boy Jaden victory.

Back at camp the tribe all congratulated Jaden on his victory as he just laughed it up and was an all round delight. Because duh. Eden pulled Raymond, Feras, Alex and Aileen aside to lock in a split vote between Ri and Valeria. Sadly for them, it is their decoy vote, as the Titans planned to take out King Ray. Which again, is a shit idea, as I love Ray. Eden looped in Jaden and Mark, who were delighted by how fun of an idea it is, particularly since Mark wanted the Titans to reunite and slay. Eden then looped in Caroline, with her ropeable at the idea of getting rid of Ray instead of Val. With her rightly pointing out to Eden that crossing Feras means that she will be screwed out of ever working with the Rebels again. She caught up with Kitty, who was equally nervous about crossing Feras, agreeing the timing was just not right. The ladies caught up with Eden to reiterate that this decision to target Ray guarantees the Rebels will turn on them straight after the vote, with him expertly assuring them that it won’t matter, given they will have the numbers anyway. Which makes sense, but also doesn’t, given how splintered everyone is.

Kirby and Ri caught up in the shelter, completely in the dark about what is being planned for tribal council. With Ri suggesting she will ask Eden, given he isn’t a good liar. He straight up told her that the majority were planning to vote for her, with Kirby reiterating that she simply needs to play her idol to keep them safe. Eden then went to chat to Kitty again, which made Feras very nervous that something is afoot. He caught up with Ray before detouring to Caroline to see if she is across what is being planned. He told her that he had heard Ray and Aileen’s names had been thrown around, with her denying it and laying it on thick that she and Kitty were the only ones that haven’t lied to him. He then cross checked with Kitty and while they both denied it, Feras still didn’t feel right. So would be trusting his gut after the vote. And oh god, don’t make this Ray blindside actually work?!

At tribal council Mark spoke about how he simply invited Caroline on reward as they needed time to mend fences or heal wounds, rather than mend wounds. Caroline admitted it was a surprise for her, though she appreciated the chance to clear the air. Talk turned to her feud with Valeria, with them agreeing they were able to talk it out and all is good now. The Rebels all started to grow nervous, whispering amongst themselves to figure out if the Titans were now tight. Ray laughed about how he is buying they are actually kumbaya and as such, he is a little nervous. As Eden and Mark whispered, Feras hoped that tribal council would go as they had planned back at camp. Which clearly stressed out Kitty, talking about how she is struggling with all the lying.

This was all the Rebels needed to know something was afoot and as such, suggested writing Eden’s name instead. Alex then got up to talk to Feras and figure out what is planned, with everyone locking in on Eden. While Alex tried to downplay the whispers as just confirming the alliance were on the same page. With that the tribe voted, Ri played her idol for herself while Feras tragically held onto his, as the Titans held firm and loaded their votes on Ray. Thankfully the Rebels all loaded their votes on Eden, making it a cheeky little tie between the boys. With that, everyone but Eden and Raymond revoted, and thankfully, Jaden flipped, leading to Eden exiting the game as our final pre-juror (I assume) and saving my sweet King Raymond.

As Eden arrived at Loser Lodge he was rightly disappointed, though was glad to go out in such an iconic way. Which honestly is the only silver lining, right? Eden once again gave hope to the superfans, playing a solid, stealth game which tragically ended up leading to his demise, as he truly was the centre of the Titans alliance. I gave him a massive hug and assured him that we will definitely see him again and as such, we got to work planning his second run. Which was the least I could do, honestly, as not only did he not make the jury, he was brought down by the infamous Survivor Pizza Curse. Thankfully, though, he knew that made his exit even more iconic, so we toasted his run with a glorious Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza.

This rustic, earthy pizza is oh so delicious. The roasted potato is sweet and crisp, the mushrooms provide a richness while the oozing burrata to finish adds the level of luxe which makes it hard to hold a grudge.

Enjoy!

Eden Portato & Burrata Pizza
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
½ cup Toni Basil Pesto
2 potatoes, thinly sliced
2 cups small mushrooms, halved or quartered
4 garlic cloves, minced
3 sprigs thyme, leaves removed
1 tsp chilli flakes
2 tsp rosemary leaves, roughly chopped
2 tsp lemon zest
1 cup swiss cheese, grated
250g burrata cheese, at room temperature

Method
Prep the bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions and preheat the oven to 180°C.

Smear the bases with the pesto, potatoes, mushrooms, garlic, thyme, chilli, rosemary and lemon zest, followed by the swiss cheese. Pop it in the oven to bake for 15 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

Remove from the oven and serve piping hot with the cracked burrata on top. Before devouring, like a dateable icon, who sadly missed the jury.


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Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Mark was ready to do revenge against the Middle Aged Mafia for blindsiding Viola. Despite the fact they all felt it would force Mark into being closer with them. After the new Rebels lost yet another immunity, he convinced them that everything was all good and that he was all in on their plan to get rid of OG Rebels. He calmly suggested that they once again split the votes between Rianna and Sarah, given Alex has zero connections. He then went to said OGs and told them to join him in loading up the votes on Caroline to take control of the tribe officially, rather than just being on the bottom of the alliance. Tragically a series of blunders from Sarah and then Rianna screwed the plan, leading to a chaotic tribal where Mark wasted his idol, Ri flipped her vote to Mark and Sarah was shown the door.

The next day the mood was, once again, a little sombre as Mark tried to clear the air with Caroline about the vote. She agreed things were super messy, as he explained that the dynamics of the four are the reason why he had tried to lead the charge against them. He apologised for his actions, with her assuring him that she is happy to move past it and continue to work together. Though she warned him that the only way they can move forward is if he is able to prove trust. Which at this point is just a bit of a lol, you know?

Over at the Titans things were far more jovial as Ray was busy trying to take his undies off without removing his track pants. Accidentally flashing Valeria in the process. He then went for a swim with Feras, yelling to each other about strategising and playing idols as the tribe watched on giggling. Well, the tribe minus Kelli, who was being suspiciously quiet and calm. Which immediately made Feras worry that she found an idol. Feras and Raymond caught up with Kirby, who decided to play into things by admitting that Kelli did have an idol, hoping the spectre of it keeps them safe. Kirby looped in Kelli, who found it super funny that they thought she had an idol and she agreed it would be fun to use it to her advantage. Leveraging her psychology, of course. As such, Raymond, Feras and Garrick decided they needed to lock in the vote against Kirby with the help of the OG Titans.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for the reward challenge where they would race into the water to collect coconuts with letters on them and spell words in a little spelling bee. Best out of 3 scoring an epic Mexican feast. Caroline and Alex faced off against Kelli and Garrick in round one to spell salsa, with the Titans taking out victory despite Kelli struggling to spell the word. Even though she hilariously assured the tribe that she can spell before the round. No joke. Mark and Rianna made things physical with Feras and Winna as they powered ahead to spell chilli, buying them enough time to tie things up for the Rebels. Winna fought hard against Kitty and Alex, as Valeria calmly worked on writing out tortilla, scoring victory for their tribe.

Back at camp the new Titans were positively delighted to discover their Mexican feast awaiting them. Everyone sat down and started smashing all the food, with Winna, Charles and Valeria in particular thrilled to finally have something to eat for the first time in three weeks. After pressing pause on the game for a little, both Feras and Kirby got to work trying to woo the OG Titans. Charles, Winna and Valeria caught up in the water debating the merits, with Charles wisely pointing out that aligning with Kirby, Scott and Kelli makes the most sense, as at least they have an even playing field, rather than going with a four. That night, Charles pulled Kirby and Scott aside to talk through their plans, with them agreeing Feras is so concerned about Kelli having an idol, he isn’t thinking about much else. Wanting to play both sides, Charles and Winna then joined up with Feras and Raymond to hear their plans, with Feras reminding them that whichever way they decide to go, they need to make sure they aren’t picked off afterwards.

Which feels a little ominous, no?

JLP made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would each hold up heavy barrels with the first tribe to drop a single barrel losing and joining Jonathan at tribal council. Things started out pretty zen, with only some minor adjustments to everyone’s hands before Caroline tapped out and handed her barrel to Jaden. After ten minutes, Jaden passed his second barrel over to Alex for a little bit of a break. That took its toll on Alex, trading back after ten minutes before the Titans lost their first person in Valeria. Winna was like a statue as he held onto two barrels before Aileen started to get dangerously close to dropping, forcing her to pass it off to Kirby. She needed a break, so handed her second to Garrick who immediately passed it to Feras. Winna started to get tired, passing one off to Charles and while it looked bad, both tribes were still fighting after 50 minutes. Garrick then dropped out, requiring some shuffling on Titans to save Kirby from dropping, before the tribe admitted defeat and dropped in unison, sending themselves to tribal council.

Back at camp the tribe reconvened around the fire lamenting their loss before splitting up to come up with their plans. After splitting up, Valeria was confident she, Winna and Charles will be able to pick who goes home. Sadly Aileen realised that the Rebels need to stay together for at least one vote, rallying them together and asking Feras and Kirby to put down their guns to assure themselves that OG Rebels have the advantage when they merge. By getting rid of Charles, ideally. And after a little bit of back and forth, they agreed to stick together. Garrick reluctantly, who felt it was the right time to make a break as they already have the numbers. As he simmered in his jocks, he approached Winna to see what the OG Titans were thinking, with him obviously assuring him that they are locked on Kirby. This emboldened him to go back to Feras and Aileen to make one final, hard push for Kirby. With them eventually agreeing. Again, somewhat reluctantly.

Meanwhile Raymond and Kelli were busy talking through the drama, with him telling her there will no doubt be a lot of last minute whispers as rival plans pop up. He then asked her not to play her idol for Kirby, given he wants her to be safe. This made Kelli nervous, so she approached Kirby who then looped in Scott, and just like that, they got to work locking in a rival plan to not take out Feras, but his second in command Garrick. The OG Titans disappeared to talk through their options, with them all agreeing that Kirby is more trustworthy and that is nothing else, they have the power tonight. And once each faction is down to three, they can reassess. They caught up with Kirby who looped them in on the Garrick plan, as they whispered it throughout camp. All the chatter made Feras nervous, who pulled Winna aside to talk about the possibility of Valeria flipping on them. With Winna assuring him that Valeria won’t flip on them, begging the question, which them is he talking about? They then turned their nerves to Kelli and her (non) idol, and how to navigate it. With Kirby assuring us that she will be trying to make everyone paranoid about what exactly Kelli could do. Which will be super easier for Kirby, given the Kelli of it all.

At tribal council Aileen spoke about how the OG Rebels clearly have an advantage, though if the OG Titans stick together, they have so much power. Winna agreed that when there are cracks, they can kind of make the choice, while Charles straight up pointed out that tonight is just about picking a side between the divided Rebels. Kirby pointed out that a true alliance doesn’t need to overdo it and simply have a discussion, and stick to it. Feras spoke about finding the balance between being paranoid and trusting in people. Kirby then called him paranoid, though admitted it is right to be, given he and Aileen pushed to be Rebel strong and then immediately switched. Kirby pointed out they had been duplicitous, leading to Garrick and Feras arguing that she was actually the one that turned on them first and that is why they don’t trust her. Despite her now playing the victim.

Garrick spoke about how disappointed he was in Kirby betraying them and how upset he still is. This led to Kirby denying she did anything wrong, with chaos erupting as Kirby, Feras and Garrick got extremely heated. Kirby tried to take credit for the Peta vote – again, no jury yet, so not relevant – despite not voting for her, which was the sticking point for the boys. Feras put a pin in the fighting as he admitted the divide is so large that there is absolutely no point denying it. Garrick meanwhile was super nervous, feeling like the tribe turned against him, as Feras confirmed with Valeria that the OG Titans were voting with them. And Scott just begged JLP to let them vote so they can finally draw some lines in the damn sand and move on tomorrow.

With that the tribe voted as Aileen begged Feras to play his idol for Garrick, before he held firm and she was proven correct, as the OG Titans joined Kirby’s alliance to blindside Garrick from the game. And let’s just say, he was well and truly pissed. As he arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled him in for a massive hug and assured him all would be ok. Because with such on point reads and a great display (despite going out early), if there is justice, he will make a triumphant return. And between that epic peptalk and piping hot Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas, he was feeling better in no time.

This meal looks like hard work, but is truly so simple. Prep everything, chuck it on a tray and  you’re good to go. And better yet, it is jam packed with flavour and oh so good. Spicy, creamy and warming.

Enjoy!

Baked Garreek Meatballdman Pitas
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
500g lamb mince
1 onion, grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
½ cup parsley, roughly chopped
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
½ tsp cayenne pepper
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 potatoes, cut into 1cm matchsticks
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
200g Jaida Essence Halloumi, diced
1 capsicum, diced
1 large avocado, halved and seeded
¼ cup greek yoghurt 
½ cup basil
1 jalapeño, trimmed and if you don’t want the heat, seeded
1 tsp smoked paprika
½ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
4 Pita Andre Breads, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 200C and line two baking sheets. 

Combine the mince, onion, garlic, lemon zest, parsley, cumin, oregano and half the cayenne pepper in a large bowl, with a good whack of salt and pepper, and scrunch with your hands to combine. Wet your hands and roll into golf ball sized meatballs, popping on the lined baking sheet. Cover and leave to rest.

Toss the sliced potatoes in olive oil and salt and spread over the second baking sheet. Pop in the oven and cook for 15 minutes, before flipping and cooking for a further 20 minutes. Add the haloumi and capsicum to the meatball tray and pop in the oven when you take the chips out to flip.

While they are cooking, pop the avocado, yoghurt, basil, jalapeno and lemon juice in a blender, and blitz until smooth. Season to taste. 

Combine the paprika, garlic and onion powders and cayenne pepper in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Remove the meatballs, haloumi and chips from the oven, and toss the chips through the spices.

To serve, dollop some avocado onto plates. Followed by the meatballs, fries, halloumi and capsicum, with pitas. And devour however you see fit.


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Mayham & Cheese Pithivller

Breakfast, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World 9 queens from around the globe booked their tickets to the UK for the first franchise-crossing battle. Kinda like the Avengers for the gays or Ultimate Girls Trip for performers. And let’s just say, it started with a bang as Jimbo, Pangina and Janey demolished the first half of the season and put their little franchises on the map. Tragically, however, they went back-to-back-to-back, leaving four of the five Ru girls in the cast to make it to the finale in the form of Juju, Baga, Blu and Mo Heart. And despite Mo being Mo and Blu being Blu, the little doll that could from Northern Ireland won the lip sync for the crown and found herself the inaugural Queen of the Mothertucking World.

Not to be confused with the Queen of the Motherpucking World.

First to make their triumphant return this go around is the icon of UK Season 2, Tia Kofi, who was puzzled by being invited back despite the fact she is a killer confessionalist. She was joined by Down Under’s own Hannah Conda and yeah, she is ready to have some fun this year and I look forward to her kicking it in the dick once more. Arantxa rang in her own arrival from Spain, literally, giving charm, fun and yes, I am here for everything about her. Arantxa quickly opened up about coming out as trans since her OG season before a very hard pivot into talking about the fact she is not actually sure whether Ru exists. Which is relatable. Mayhem Miller was next to arrive, questioning why she opted to come back, even though we know she just wants to bring the party.

Next up, Choriza bought the sausage to represent the UK with a little of her heart left in Spain. Oh and she is vibing for her own glow up and is ready to thrive, giving Nadja from What We Do In The Shadows energy. La Grande Dame gave the most iconic entry of all time, screaming France. And yeah, Ru is going to love her because she is stupid. While also being so damn gorgeous. Marina Summers came in representing the Philippines and given she looks like that, and is ready to chop the colonizers, I am here for everything about her. JB is once again in the house and is still a delusional delight, so werk queen. They were joined by Holland’s own Keta Minaj and hot damn, I forgot how hot she was. Choke me daddy, etc. Scarlet Envy arrived dripping in red, ready to act up a storm, turn tricks and grab a crown. All while being the drama. And then rounding out the cast was the UK’s very own Porkchop, Gothy Kendoll – roar – looking more expensive than 50P.

As the dolls kikied, a surprise 12th queen was unveiled as Raven stomped the runway. Though after she realised Jujubee was missing, she stepped aside and instead introduced RuPaul before going back to her home backstage. For the non Ru girls, they were overwhelmed to finally get in front of the mother of the franchise, as she assured them it would be a fair playing field for all. Despite how last season made it look. After recapping the rules – top two lip sync for the win and eliminate one of the bottom queens – she then gagged them by announcing that for the first time in UK herstory, the winner would bag herself 50,000 pounds. She then added that for their first maxi challenge, they would be performing in the Queens’ Variety Show before disappearing to hang with Raven and Michelle.

The dolls finally made it to the Werk Room where Hannah was gagged by the sheer size of it – obviously – before they grabbed their bags, found a station and began de-dragging. Hannah caught up with Marina, La Grande Dame, Keta and Jonbers, asking if the money changed the way they were planning to play the game. On the other side of the room, Team USA were busy gossiping, with Mayhem not sure about anyone’s name, as Scarlet marvelled at how good Hannah looked. Though admitted everyone looked good. Well, almost everyone, as she looked Mayhem up and down.  Hannah and La Grande Dame were quickly became friends, while Arantxa, Marina and Keta were bonding over being the sole girls of their franchises and hoping to find a way to have fun and give themselves. Team UK quickly locked in an alliance before they realised they only had one challenge win between them. Which is ironic. Even more so, since they found it so funny. Assuming it proves that personality clearly took them far.

Which Gothy giggled at, given she is literally the Porkchop of UK.

Elimination Day arrived with everyone buzzing as they split up to get prepared for the talent show. With Tia continuing to be the most relatable, hoping it isn’t just 11 lip syncs, as that is always boring. Keta and Marina, meanwhile, were looking forward to representing their countries and putting Filipino and Dutch drag on the map. Hannah was excited to do her first talent show, while Mayhem was just hoping to not forget the lyrics to her performance like she did during her first one. She opened up to Hannah about how she has had to pivot her drag style due to long COVID, so the dolls may be surprised by her number. While Hannah assured her she is confident she will kick it in the dick, given she is an icon who essentially runs L.A. That being said, she may be an icon, but the colloquialisms of our fair country seem to have confused her, as she wondered how a kick to the dick could possibly be a good thing. Jonbers and Scarlett meanwhile admitted they were planning to give Ru all the comedy, knowing that is key to making it far.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by honorary gay icon Richard E. Grant as Choriza opened the Queens’ Variety Show with all the energy as she gave a very Spanish lip sync to her original song. Which was kinda like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami, but gayer and more fun. Scarlet meanwhile did a little boudoir song and dance about dishing out bad advice and lies, which was so fun and cute. La Grande Dame’s talent was hard to describe, as she gave weird noises and beats, bad dancing and then a runway and yeah, it was stunning. Like, so demented and so stunning. Gothy meanwhile lip synced to an original song before offering a literal glow up as she danced with and ate fire. Shocking even herself in the process. Marina then brought down the house with a stunning lip sync to her own song. She hit every line, she vogued, she twirled ribbons and the song was a legitimate bop. So yeah, just hand her the win, ok?

Keta gave a demented Alice in Wonderland performance which was trippy perfection before lip syncing, flipping and giving reveal after reveal. And even gymnastics. And it was special, k? Mayhem then gave the polar opposite, giving a comedic guided meditation. That is until she started giggling at the second joke and straight up forgot the rest of her lines. Hannah then gave legit talent, tickling the ivories and singing live and hot damn, when did she become charming? Oh, wait, the piano was a fake out. Though the song and singing were great, so well done. Jonbers then gave a song about fashion, like Milk’s talent, if Milk was funny. Arantxa meanwhile played into the fact nobody can say her name with a dream state orgasm while lying on the pit crew as she called everyone idiots. And yeah, I love it. Tia then sang live too and honestly, it was a bop. I mean, aside from Mayhem, was this just good across the board?

On the Queen and Country runway, Scarlet did an ode to Drop Dead Gorgeous with the Mount Ru-shmore headpiece and yeah, give her a win for that alone, TBH. Keta was perfect as a milk maid who can milk me, right now, please. She then revealed an Indonesian witch and yeah, Holland is always going to give us everything. Jonbers meanwhile served slutty leprechaun, complete with a clover headpiece, Arantxa was a delightfully pink flamenco doll that you sit on the TV, apparently. Tia meanwhile served her first stunning look as she rocked a glamorous gown combining her Nigerian and UK roots.

Marina was perfection in a glamorous rice farmer inspired look, Choriza served Ru Britannia as a knight and Mayhem gave Lady Liberty, serving all the curves. Gothy was then adorable as she served King’s Guard, while also clearly being in awe of the fact she was invited back for a second go. La Grande Dame was perfection in a gown of a frog killed by the Eiffel Tour. Before Hannah gave a Priscilla inspired frill-neck lizard, which showcased first nations artists and called for a treaty. Once again reminding us she has learnt and grown from her past mistakes.

Keta, Jonbers, Arantxa, Tia and Hannah were deemed safe and sent to the back of the stage before the judges read Scarlet for not giving enough in the performance, given the idea was solid. Though they loved the look. Marina received wall to wall praise for literally everything she served; killer looks, high energy performance perfection and even some casual education about how rice grows for Alan. Choriza’s energy was praised for opening the show so strongly and they loved that she gave such a camp, gorgeous look. Mayhem, obviously, was read for flubbing literally all the lines in her talent show, though they lived for her runway. Gothy meanwhile was praised for such a strong glow up, though they felt she still wasn’t confident enough. Particularly not to make fire dancing work. Though they lived for her look. While La Grande Dame received wall to wall praise for being so stupid and so polished and oh so perfect. And that isn’t even taking into account how strong her runway was.

Obviously Marina and La Grande Dame were announced as the top two of the week before Choriza and Scarlet were sent to safety, leaving Mayhem and Gothy up for elimination. As the dolls ventured backstage to untuck, they grabbed their drinks and toasted Marina and Dame for landing on the top. Or kicking it in the dick, if you will. Scarlet meanwhile checked in on Mayhem, who had a good attitude about being in the bottom, realising that laughing at herself straight up cost her. Gothy on the other hand was worried about being in the bottom in the first episode two seasons in a row, before the winner’s asked for one on one time with their bottoms.

Marina caught up with Mayhem, who quickly pointed out her performance wasn’t bad, she just made mistakes. Which I guess is the only argument she really could make, so werk. When Marina didn’t seem open to saving her, however, Mayhem floated the idea of an alliance and vowed to help her make it to the end. Grande Dame meanwhile was checking how Gothy was feeling, with her disappointment for the repeat bottom, as La Grand Dame admitted she actually enjoyed her performance. Despite losing an eyelash to the flame. She then went for the emotion, pointing out that Mayhem has so much experience and should know better, while this is her second episode ever of Drag Race. The safe girls questioned how the top girls were planning to play it, as Mayhem took her alliance proposition over to La Grande Dame and honestly, I feel like neither of the queens are taking it seriously. Gothy meanwhile continued to lean into her heart with Marina, reiterating she knows she needs to give the judges more of herself, but she assured her that she will be able to overcome the nerves and shine.

Marina and La Grande Dame grabbed their lipsticks and headed out the mainstage before doing battle to Dreamer by Livin’ Joy. And as you can imagine, both the dolls absolutely devoured. La Grande Dame served humour and used every inch of her 7 feet to her advantage while Marina was all energy, as she hit every moment of every letter. And as such, Marina rightly took out victory before Mayhem and Gothy took their places on stage and Marina announced that Mayhem would be the Gothy Kendoll of the season. Sparing our sweet underdog and allowing her another chance to shine.

When she arrived backstage, Mayhem was in great spirits, despite her loss, knowing that she straight up lost because she found herself to be too damn funny. Which in itself, is too damn funny. I pulled her in for a massive hug and thanked her for coming back for another iconic run. As they may keep getting shorter, but she always manages to leave a mark with whatever time she has. Obviously Mayhem always manages to bring the party, no matter what the situation, she I toasted her icon status and sent her on her way with a deliciously hot Mayham & Cheese Pithivller.

Don’t get your hopes up! Despite the name, this isn’t exactly a fancy dish. Essentially just a textured little pie, this pastry melts in your mouth as the ham and cheese serve perfect French brunch. Second only to La Grand Dame, obvi.

Enjoy!

Mayham & Cheese Pithivller
Serves: 2-4.

Ingredients
25g butter
25g flour
1 cup milk
salt and pepper, to taste
⅛ tsp nutmeg, finely grated
200g gruyere cheese, grated
2 sheets puff pastry
12 slices ham
1 egg, whisked

Method
Melt the butter in a pan over low heat and once it is starting to foam, whisk in the flour and cook for a couple of minutes, or until it is cohesive and cooked off. Remove from the heat and whisk in the milk. Return to the heat, crank up to medium and cook, stirring, until it starts to thicken. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and add a pinch of nutmeg. Fold through half the cheese and stir until melted. Decant into a lined shallow baking dish, cover directly with skin and pop in the fridge to chill.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Cut the puff pastry into a 20 and a 21 centimetre circle. Pop the smaller one on a lined baking tray. Layer the base with a third of the ham, leaving a 2cm border around the edge. Top with a layer of chilled bechamel, then a third of the cheese. Repeat the process until you’re out of ham and cheese. Brush the edges with the egg and top with the second disc of pastry, pressing the edges of each disc of pastry together to seal. Trim excess pastry from the edges.

Using a knife, gently scallop for creative flair before brushing with egg wash and popping in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, or until golden. Then carve and devour.


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Viola Soup Jokudumplings

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor after burning his first idol because everyone knew about it, Feras found a second one hidden amongst the trees. Despite not handing the key off to any of the Titans, Mark grew tired of waiting and instead ripped the lid off the treasure chest and grabbed one for himself. As the saboteur, Kelli opted out of the immunity challenge she was meant to sabotage. Though given that also meant she wasn’t running interference at the Rebels, they still managed to win. The Titans planned to get rid of the easy vote in Nathan, until the Vs and Mark floated the idea of getting rid of Caroline instead, given she stares more intensely than Pat Mullins. At tribal council Kelli was sent out for succeeding in the mission she didn’t succeed in before Mark and the Vs decided to keep things calm and booted Nathan.

We checked in with the Rebels the next day where Kelli was presumably thrilled to be back amongst her fam, comfortably sleeping away the morning as the tribe desperately awaited gossip. Eventually they woke her up, with her sharing that she orchestrated Nathan’s departure, gladly wearing his hoodie as a memento. She tried to do damage control for not throwing the immunity challenge, saying she pivoted to get rid of a strong player. As everyone explained that wasn’t the task, she continued to be oblivious to their rage. Except for Alex, obviously, who was so clear in his disdain, that she cussed him out for being rude to her. Sadly though, her read on who went home is correct so while everyone is mocking her behind her back, they will probably decide she is wiser than she has played thus far when the tribes come together. Kelli caught up with Kirby, Ray, Aileen and Rianna to run through the current state of affairs, with Kirby not doing much of a social game, straight up pointing out that Aileen and Ray are not with them. To their face. As Kirby told Kelli she knows she can trust her, Ri, Scott and nobody else.

And let’s just say, what a fall from grace for Kirby’s game.

Over at the Titans, Eden was thrilled to have gotten rid of the last easy vote and ready for the game to get spicy as he, Kitty and Caroline do battle with Mark and the Vs for control of the tribe. Kitty and Eden caught up to run through the best options moving forward, with Eden not really keen on taking out Mark, instead wanting to make a move on someone else. Mark and the Vs meanwhile were planning to loop in Winna and Jaden, and make a move against Caroline, given she is upsetting everyone and it should be an easy way to take control. Middle Aged Mafia be damned.

Given both tribes were ready to fracture in two, they came together with JLP who told them to drop their buffs. Because yes, it is time to make things even messier with a cheeky little tribe swap. New Rebels was made up of Eden, Alex, Sarah, Rianna, Kitty, Caroline, Mark, Viola and Jaden. Ray meanwhile drew no buff, meaning he got to pick which tribe he went to, wisely opting to kick off Titans 2.0, on account of their tarp, where he was joined by Kirby, Charles, Kelli, Garrick, Aileen, Winna, Valeria, Feras and Scott.

We ventured back to the new Titans tribe where Valeria welcomed everyone to their far more lush surroundings. Despite feeling well and truly screwed by the swap, being outnumbered 7 to 3, she immediately went into fight mode. She offered to cook rice and sent Charles and Winna to get firewood, allowing their friends to relax and get to know the new beach, knowing they can’t kill the cook. Any time soon, that is. Scott and Kirby meanwhile were thrilled to luck out on the new tribe, agreeing that it makes sense to stick Titans strong for now. Feras joined them, with Scott asking them to put their issues aside until they get the numbers advantage at merge. And thankfully, they were both sensible enough to agree it is for the best.

Over at the new Rebels camp Alex was feeling uneasy as like Valeria, he, Sarah and Rianna were clearly outnumbered. By a very tight six, with zero cracks. As far as he knew. As the women washed off in the ocean, Alex caught up with Eden and Mark to see if he could get any information. Or at worst, convince them to vote out one of the girls over him. Mark meanwhile was sad to be without Valeria, though happy to have options with V and the Middle Aged Mafia. And glad they didn’t get rid of Caroline at the last tribal council. Sarah meanwhile was bonding with Viola, who admitted to us that she isn’t exactly feeling comfortable with her fellow OG Titans and as such, wanted to use the OG Rebels to make a move against Kitty and Caroline before they make one against her and Mark.

JLP made his triumphant return to preside over the first immunity challenge as new tribes, where they would each hold two ropes tethered to a gutter and manoeuvre a ball from one end on a line-up to the other to land it into a basket first. After Kelli sat out, both tribes tried to practise and get their eye in. The Rebels appeared to figure it out just that little bit quicker as the ball went from Mark to Sarah and Alex. The Titans then overtook as they found their momentum, while Caroline started to get sassy over at the new Rebels as she struggled. The Titans went person to person without dropping until Garrick started to struggle. The Rebels started to close the gap before Ray once again bossed the challenge, who passed it off to Winna and back to Kirby, who scored the point and jagged immunity for her new tribe.

Back at camp Rianna was feeling like she could use a little vom, knowing that she is well and truly on the outs. Kitty caught up with Rianna and Sarah, lamenting that she would prefer someone to be shit to make things easier. After assuring her it was all good, Rianna and Sarah caught up with Viola, Mark and Caroline to give them the lay of the land on the original Rebels to try and sell themselves as an asset moving forward. They caught up with Alex and suggested hunting for idols, despite the fact they all knew splitting wouldn’t even help them. The OG Titans meanwhile were hanging out, hoping to stay a solid six, talking about the fact Rianna has the most relationships and as such, is the biggest threat. While Sarah and Alex are malleable. 

Eden, Mark and Caroline locked in a split vote between Sarah and Rianna, agreeing to loop in Alex before Mark caught up with Viola. Who felt like the safe move wasn’t the best idea and instead, thought it would be a good idea to blindside Caroline with the help of the OG Rebels. Caroline being Caroline, she was busy hanging out in the bushes, staring, and decided (correctly) that Viola was coming for her. She went and filled in Kitty, with the duo suggesting they could blindside Viola instead. Just as Mark had calmed her on making the move against Caroline too soon.

Kitty wandered off to loop in Sarah and Rianna while Caroline ran the plan via Eden, who tried to get them to calm their farm for another tribal or two. While she countered that they can’t risk Mark and V pulling the trigger first. After looping in the girls, Caroline told Sarah she doesn’t need to know who else is voting for Viola which to me, seems like something is going to mess up. Eden meanwhile was starting to spiral, worrying about how Mark will react to him blindsiding Mark’s closest ally outside of the Middle Aged Mafia.

Eden joined Sarah and Caroline in the shelter, before pulling Caroline aside to question what happens if Mark and Jay are upset and flip over to the OG Rebels and take control. Despite feeling like Eden was needlessly worried, Caroline suggested they loop in Jaden to try and neutralise the threat and make him feel like he is part of the plan. As such, Eden approached Jaden, who wisely offered that he would trust him. If that is what he wants. While Mark watched on, worried about them turning on each other too soon. Assuring us that if all the conversations he has seen happening up and down the beach worry him at tribal council, he is willing to play the idol for himself or V.

At tribal council Mark spoke about the Titans being thrilled to be able to show off a little more of their rebellious side, now that they’ve switched things up. Rianna meanwhile opened up about how difficult it has been to try and get any information out of the OG Titans and as such, they’re kind of sitting ducks. Alex joked that he should be kept due to his guns, though pointed out it would actually make sense for the former Titans to use them as numbers to try and take control, rather than just casting them aside. Mark spoke about how that does make sense, wondering whether it had crossed other OG Titans minds, as he and V both spoke about staying Titans strong. Caroline spoke about the fact the Titans are a tight six and for now, they are staying together and taking advantage of the chips falling in their way. Eden and Mark danced around the fear of not making a move soon enough, and finding the balance of stability and advancement. Before he spoke about being confident in his group, rather than the Titans.

Viola admitted that she was trying to think two steps ahead, once the Rebels trio are gone, knowing that if someone doesn’t make a move, they become the sitting ducks. Alex implored them to make a move before their rivals make one on them, before Mark reiterated that is just the game in a nutshell. Caroline then got super awkward, stumbling over her words, which appeared to be the final thing to convince Mark that something was afoot. With that the tribe voted, Mark held on to his idol and Viola was tragically blindsided from the game.

Viola followed my wailing sobs all the way back to Loser Lodge where I crumpled straight into her arms. She held me as I cried uncontrollably for a couple of hours, before assuring me that she is ok and I would be too. And while I still don’t know if I believe her – I mean, what a damn loss – she did promise to hook me up with a puppy on Dog House Australia. And that kinda cures everything. That, and a piping hot batch of Viola Soup Jokudumplings, that is.

While there is an abnormally high chance of burning your tongue, mouth and oesophagus, these delicious dumplings are more than worth it. Warm and hearty, with the right amount of sweetness, there is no better dish to cheer you up.

Enjoy!

Viola Soup Jokudumplings
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
1 ¼ cup chicken stock
3 tbsp light soy sauce 
2cm piece ginger, sliced 
5 cloves garlic, bruised
7g gelatin powder
500g pork mince
2 tbsp shaoxing wine
¾ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp sesame oil
¾ teaspoon raw caster sugar
3 tbsp water
¼ tsp ground white pepper
1 tbsp minced ginger
18-20 gow gee wrappers

Method
Bring the stock, 2 tablespoons of the soy sauce, ginger and garlic to a simmer over medium-high heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until reduced to about 1 cup of liquid. Skim off the ginger and garlic, add in the gelatin and whisk to incorporate. Transfer to a shallow pan and pop in the fridge to set for an hour.

In a food processor, blitz the pork mince for 30 seconds to form a paste. Add in the shaoxing, salt, sesame oil, caster sugar, water, pepper and ginger, and blit for another minute or so, or until it all comes together. Transfer to a large bowl, cover and transfer to the fridge to rest until the soup sets. Once the soup has set, cut it into 1.5cm cubes and fold through the pork mixture and return to the fridge until you’re ready to assemble.

Prepare your steamer, lining it with cheesecloth to make sure the dumplings don’t stick. 

Once you’re ready to assemble, place a tablespoon of filling in the centre of each disc and pleat to form a little pouch, leaving the seam at the top. Making sure it is completely sealed. Repeat the process until done.

To steam, place the dumplings in 5cm apart, making sure not to overload the steamer. Cook for about 8-10 minutes, or until piping hot and cooked through. Remove and repeat the process until they are all done.

Serve immediately with black vinegar and a bit of chilli, being super careful as they are very hot. But obvi, devour gleefully.


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Cottage Topieas Grant

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Pie, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were marooned on the island of Samoa, split into tribes based on their levels of success or application of rules. Honestly, it is still kinda confusing, TBH. Despite the Titans implying strength, they bombed back-to-back-to-almost back immunity challenges, until the Rebels felt it was a good idea to throw number three. You see, the Cuddle Crew – aka the muscled up quartet who are making a play for showmances – felt their strength was enough to carry the tribe and they could afford to lose a challenge and get rid of Kelli. Presumably so they could get some sleep. Back at camp after the challenge, the cool kids thought they were in control, particularly after Peta jagged an idol. Kirby meanwhile wasn’t happy with the plan to get rid of Kelli, so brought the rest of the tribe together to blindside the Cuddle Crew, given 8 is more than 4. At tribal council, though, Kirby  voted with them so they felt they had an ally. Which went off without a hitch as Peta was shown the door with an idol in her pocket.

The next day Kelli was still all energy, no doubt emboldened by the fact she survived tribal council. We finally got to meet Aileen, who opened up about feeling like she would be in charge of the tribe before the game, but thus far, she is overwhelmed by being surrounded by such big personalities. And that is not just Kelli. She opened up about feeling like she has let her family down by not going to an ivy league school, however, was proud to have found success her own way. Which is a lot of getting to know you, meaning she is either out tonight, or is pulling off a big move. So I guess, either way, the Rebels will be back at tribal council tonight.

We checked in with the Titans where things were very zen as everyone had a leisurely morning after their night off. Viola was teaching people how to dance, while Caroline was proud that the Middle Aged Mafia were able to take control and she was able to defy the odds of the older woman archetype. We then learnt a little more about her career as a midwife and how it set her up to know when things could potentially go wrong. Which made her trust her gut when she felt Mark was growing closer to the two Vs, and as such, watched them like a hawk. Sadly she wasn’t stealth about it though, so Valeria instantly clocked it and wondered what the hell her problem was. Valeria found Mark to see if he knew why Caroline was acting weird, warning him that she may need to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Over at the Rebels Alex was fully aware that throwing the challenge was a bad idea, so instead of gloating like he had planned, he was stuck sucking up to everyone and making sure they knew they had a friend in him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Kirby was thrilled that her plan went off without a hitch. Well, almost, as Garrick confronted her about why she voted with the Cuddle Crew. In front of Kelli, no less. He then exited in tears, heartbroken by the betrayal, while Feras was simply annoyed to be played and motivated to see her sneakiness and raise it. He then went for a wander through the jungle where he discovered a locked box, but given he clearly didn’t have the key, he covered it up and vowed to return ASAP, given he knew it had to hold something powerful.

The tribes reunited with Jonathan for a reward challenge where they would face off two at a time, racing to ring a bell, while also grappling sumo at sea style. And given the first tribe to 3 won a massive grazing plate, everyone was ready to fight. First up were Tobias and Feras were quickly felled by Jaden and Nathan, despite Nathan literally almost drowning for a couple of seconds. Caroline and Viola did battle with Kirby and Rianna, with Rianna absolutely demolishing and winning before anyone realised it had started. Eden and Kitty faced Kirby and Garrick, with Kirby proving to be a lucky charm as she jagged another point before Winna and Mark were defeated by Tobias and Scott who scored reward for the Rebels.

They returned to camp and immediately got to smashing the snacks with everyone forgetting the drama of the day before. That is until they noticed three keys sitting on the table and the calm was broken up as everyone speculated what they could be for. Kirby was wise, telling the tribe they should split into three groups to go hunt for whatever the treasure is. Feras sprung into action, pulling Garrick and Raymond aside to go hunt with him, knowing he could trust them. As Ray was running interference, Feras and Garrick unlocked an idol and a key with a note directing them to give it to the other tribe. Tragically as he was reading the note, Alex wandered up and interrupted the celebrations. Which obviously left him stressed, as he tried to figure out a way out of it. As such, he went back to camp and read the note for everyone, hiding the fact he had an idol, offering to empty his bag and pockets to prove it.

While everyone said they believed him, their faces said otherwise. Alex even pulled him aside to double check, as Feras stuck to his story and Alex assured him he believed it, despite both of them knowing it was all lies. Resulting in Feras deciding Alex now needs to be the next one out.

The tribes joined Jonathan on the beach for the latest immunity challenge where Feras asked the Titans if they had found the treasure box which they assumed was a troll, as the Rebels joined in the sledging. But back to the challenge. The tribes would face off in rounds of aquatic dodgeball with the first tribe to three jagging immunity. Kirby, Feras, Raymond and Aileen faced off against Nathan, Viola, Kitty and Mark as Feras looped Mark in on the box as they wrestled before Nathan made quick work of knocking out the Rebels and scoring the first point for the Titans. Tobias, Sarah, Garrick and Rianna made quick work of Caroline, Valeria, Winna and Eden to tie things up, before Kirby won the battle of the AFL players opposite Nathan, giving Rebels the lead. Eden, Winna, Viola and Mark evened things up after Rianna tried to eliminate Eden, who was already eliminated, allowing Winna to single handedly keep them in it. Before Charles, Caroline, Valeria and Jaden owned the court and won immunity for the Titans.

Back at camp the Rebels were gutted to technically lose their first immunity challenge, lamenting how close they came to victory. After pleasantries, everyone split up to start scrambling, with Tobias confident that being strong, popular and a hard worker means he is guaranteed to be safe. Which didn’t bode well for the first three boots, but you do you boo. As he tended to the fire, Aileen decided that cutting the arrogant still needed to be the name of the game, pulling the mega alliance aside to lock in a vote split on Alex and Tobias, forcing Sarah to decide which of her allies go home. As is becoming the pattern, Alex interrupted things though could tell by the silence he should still be worried. Aileen and Kelli went to fill Kirby in, with her happy to go along with it. Sadly, it was that moment that Kelli decided to spiral and worry that maybe, just maybe, she will catch some strays.

The boys and Rianna were still sitting in silence around the well, before Feras opted to suggest that the tribe could unite to get rid of Kelli. And given that is literally his dream, Alex was all in. To Feras’ face, that is, as instead, Alex wanted to try for a sneaky little blindside of one of the power players. Sarah meanwhile was checking in with Kirby and Kelli, with Tobias and Alex quickly joining them to float the idea of blindsiding Feras. After splitting up, Sarah grew paranoid about Feras playing the idol they think he has, though Alex assured her that he would be too proud to play his idol. By the shelter, Feras grew nervous about trusting Kirby and Ri after the move they pulled at the previous tribal council, and despite the fact Aileen and Rianna assured him he doesn’t need to worry, he was still clearly spooked about going home with an idol in his pocket.

At tribal council Feras spoke about his shit stirring at the challenge, hoping that mentioning the chest would be enough to create a little chaos. Aileen agreed that it was enough to sow confusion, with Kelli admitting stirring the pot is literally her passion. Alex spoke about how Kelli reminds him of his mother and like her, they butt heads from time to time. With Kelli laughing about how she isn’t bothered by it, giving she doesn’t get pressed, but he does. On the love to hate scale, both admitted it will be hard to get things to the love end of the spectrum. Talk turned to the previous tribal council, with Alex admitting the blindside hurt and as such, he cautioned everyone to do something if they are nervous. Tobias admitted he is feeling pretty good, given he cooked everyone dinner and allowed the chaos to happen. Sadly for him though, Kelli and Feras felt it was a little arrogant and rude.

Kirby spoke about how quickly things change, while Rianna was just hopeful to be on the right side of the numbers given all the names she heard that afternoon. Feras started to grow nervous about the vote, feeling just a little too easy, which Garrick agreed with, begging everyone to make the choice to unite the tribe. After a sneeze from Kelli, the tribe voted as Feras took off his jumper to show off his idol, before promptly playing it. Sadly it wasn’t necessary, however, as Kirby and Rianna stood with the outcasts and split the vote between Alex and Tobias. Well almost, as Kelli flipped her vote last minute and eliminated Tobias without forcing Sarah to make the choice.

As he arrived at Loser Lodge Tobias was well and truly confused, given he is totally likeable and didn’t bother scrambling pre-tribal council. Which always screams, I am a great option for you to work with down the line! Obviously I unleashed, Tyra-style, given he is a totally zaddy and while he didn’t rock a speedo like our himbo kings, I would have been happy to have more episodes to look at him. But no, he gave Kelli nothing, and she opted she would have better luck with Alex. As I descended into tears, he pulled me in for a massive hug and apologised for relying on that body, and given it was a reference to Drag Race, I instantly flipped, forgave him and toasted his week with a freshly baked Cottage Topieas Grant.

There is nothing quite like a perfectly portioned little cottage pie to make you forget your troubles. Flakey pastry, rich meat and the creamiest of creamy mashes? Before you even add the cheese, it is glorious.

Enjoy!

Cottage Topieas Grant
Serves: 4-8.

Ingredients
1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g lamb mince
¼ cup flour
2 cups chicken stock
400g diced tin tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 ½ tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 zucchini, grated
½ cup diced carrots
2 sheets shortcrust pastry
3-4 cups Gabriel Mash
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated

Method
Preheat the oven to 180C.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onion, stirring occasionally, for 4 minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and cook for a minute, before stirring in the mince, breaking up with a wooden spoon to avoid lumps, for about five minutes, or until cooked through.

Sprinkle the flour over the mince mixture and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Gradually add the stock while stirring constantly. Followed by the tin tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil, reduce to low and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until thickened and reduced. Then and only then, stir in the zucchini and carrots. Remove from the heat

Cut each pastry sheet in quarters and press into individual pie dishes. Prick the bases with a fork, line with some baking sheet and fill with pastry weights and blind bake for 10 minutes before removing the pastry weights and cooking for a further couple of minutes to brown.

Divide the meat between the 8 prepared pastry cases, top with a layer of mash and finish with a sprinkle of cheese. Transfer the dishes to a baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and set. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for five minutes before slathering with some tomato relish and devouring through the pain.


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Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Main, Poultry, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor the Titans finally managed to jag a win at the reward challenge, though given it was kind of an everyone’s a winner situation, it was a given. Sadly for them, that is where it stopped as despite a hefty lead in the immunity challenge, the Rebels pulled a come from behind win and spent another night chilling in harmony. Back at camp, Jess decided she was in charge and as such, opted to target the man who saved her the previous night, Eden. And as her confidence grew, she became a little chaotic, as she performed for a non-existent jury and turned everyone off. Almost forcing them to band together to blindside her.

The next day things were far more harmonious as Viola and Valeria continued to be iconic. Eden, meanwhile, was still annoyed to see his name at the previous tribal council. He approached Mark, Caroline and Kitty to thank them for having his back before they anointed themselves the Middle Aged Mafia and yeah, I live for it TBH. Despite the fact somebody that is younger than me refers to themselves as middle aged. Over at the Rebels, Peta and Scott were taking it easy doing some yoga and manifesting a balance or puzzle challenge. She then disappeared to catch up with her allies – Tobias, Sarah and Alex – as she watched the Kelli and Raymond show, worrying whether she will be able to bite her tongue long term. Peta and Sarah tried to figure out who would be best to join them, and I assume, be dragged to the end at their whim. Since that worked so well on the Titans tribe.

Sadly for her, Queen Kirby was watching like an absolute hawk and clocked that she felt like she was running things. And while Kirby planned to play an under the radar game, she was ready to make some quiet moves to get rid of Peta. Feras pulled her and Garrick aside, clocking her strategy and using it as a way to lock in the natural alliances that have already formed. Though trust, while she is concerned about the Cuddle Crew, she also didn’t want to shut off any options. Right on cue, Peta approached Kirby and warned her that divisions were forming and suggested it would be smart for her to work closely with the stronger crew. And holy hell, how did the strong people on both tribes clearly botch this in the exact same way.

The tribes came together in the shallows with Jonathan – Alex and Nathan thankfully in their speedos – for a physical reward challenge where, in rounds, they would race to have one person exit a cage. First tribe to three jagging an epic food basket. Sarah and Rianna were first to face off against Viola and Kitty, and damn, it was scrappy as hell before Queen V made a break to score the first point for the Titans. Jaden and Nathan faced off against Alex and Tobias and hot damn, we’re losing a speedo tonight. Wait, no, both the speedos ran away with it – on their respective bodies – and tried to escape with Nathan scoring another point for Titans. Valeria and Caroline faced off against Aileen and Kelli, with Aileen eventually making a break and scoring the first point for the Rebels. Winna and Mark then faced off against Feras and Ray, if you could even call it that, as Mark shot out and won the challenge for the Titans without any contact.

Oh and Kelli made a play to bang Nathan. So while she is super annoying, I also find her fundamentally relatable.

Back at camp the tribe were overjoyed to discover their basket of food. Until they discovered it was made up of unmarked cans, though you know Jaden was pumped for the one identifiable one, spam. Even though Mark opted to take it, no doubt assuming nobody wanted it. After smashing his can of peaches, Jaden went for a swim with Nathan, who was looking forward to a swap where they can align with the alphas at the Rebels. Speaking of them, Alex and Peta were talking about how Nathan was clearly trying to signal them at the challenge. They went for a walk to get some water before parlaying that into an idol hunt and despite calling themselves Barbie and Ken, managed to jag it without a clue. Which only managed to make them more and more confident, as they vowed to keep it between them.

That night the Rebels were marvelling at the stars as Kelli and Raymond continued to run their mouths and destroy the peace. Peta, Alex, Tobias and Sarah sat alone snacking, floating that maybe now would be the right time to throw a challenge and get rid of one of the irritating people. As to quote Alex, “Kelli annoys the shit out of me.” Sadly for them, however, throwing a challenge often backfires and given the narrative of the season appears to be pride coming before the fall, I see one of them exiting soon. Potentially with an idol in her pocket, perchance.

Jonathan returned to oversee the latest immunity challenge where the tribes would have to race load a series of sacks onto a heavy platform and slingshot, and navigate it through a series of obstacles, use a machete to cut open a bag to release sandbags, use said sandbags to knock over blocks and then use the blocks to solve a puzzle. Given three of the stronger people were actively trying to throw the challenge, the Rebels quickly fell out of it as the Titans lined their sled up at the end of the course and got to shooting. Nathan released all the blocks as the Rebels continued to saunter through the course, giving Eden and Charles a massive lead on the puzzle. While Tobias pretended to struggle with the slingshot. Finally Kirby switched in and made quick work of the puzzle pieces, though it wasn’t enough as the Titans jagged their first immunity win. Eventually, despite the fact they had a single piece in the wrong spot but couldn’t see it until the Rebels only had one left too.

As Tobias, Alex and Peta did a really bad job of looking disappointed to have lost.

Back at camp most of the tribe were dejected as Tobias tried to blame the wet ground for his bombing. Before he, Alex, Sarah and Peta peeled off and agreed they were thrilled to go to tribal council and trim the fat in Kelli. They pulled most of the tribe to the well to lock it in, with Raymond offering to go talk to her and ask what she was thinking. As he exited, Peta then suggested they split the vote between Kelli and Raymond, because of course she did. Kirby meanwhile was busy quietly watching everything until the Cuddle Crew dropped by and asked her to split the vote. Though her face was quizzical as hell, which should have been an answer. Tobias then looped in Feras who went to loop Garrick in on the plan, but instead, they clocked that the challenge was thrown. 

After confirming their suspicions together, Feras went to talk to Kirby and Rianna to warn that the challenge was thrown. Kirby then threw out that Peta was way too confident and as such, clearly thinks she is in control, making it the perfect time to blindside her. Kirby then went person to person locking everyone in on this plan before trying to calm Kelli, who grew paranoid she may get idolled out. While Kirby stayed calm and steady, pointing out that the Cuddle Crew are so confident everyone is voting for her that even if they have an idol, they won’t play it. And while Garrick and Kirby worried her acting was going to ruin the plan, I actually think she sold her chaotic nerves.

And meditation.

As she ommed out, the Cuddle Crew looked ready to scream, willing away the hours until they could vote her out. Feras meanwhile was worried she was doing too much, asking her to stop with the theatrics. She then took the fake tears to Aileen, before Aileen was summoned by Peta, asking if she was scrambling. She assured her that Kelli is honestly just crying and not floating plans, and while Peta promised us she will play the idol if she feels nervous, I honestly don’t think she would. Feras, Aileen and Kirby caught up, with the latter reiterating that Peta is so confident, she will not even consider herself at risk. Kirby then realised the tribe is so united against Kelly, that her vote doesn’t even matter and as such, pulled Rianna aside to float them voting with the Cuddle Alliance, so they could continue to play both sides and pretend they were equally as blindsided.

At tribal council the Rebels lit their torches and took their seats as Alex opened up about how not having to come to tribal council for a week gave them plenty of time for relationships to form. Raymond agreed it was nice to understand how everyone ticks and after a week, he likes most of them. Which, lol. Peta admitted she is confident she is on the wrong side of the vote before Kelli continued her acting tour de force, pretending she knows she is going home. Alex then asked if she contributes around camp, with Kelli pointing out she helps with the fire at night, while he and his friends all sleep cuddling by it. This pissed off Alex – and made me not love him anymore, TBH – before Kelli admitted she is sure his allies are all voting for her so it doesn’t matter what she says.

Peta admitted tribal is the place of blindsides and idols, which made Feras smile like a cheshire cat. Which in turn made Kirby look a little nervous, before he took it one step further, saying people need to be made an example of and put in their place. This made the Cuddle Crew appear to be super nervous, given they all felt the vote was rather united. Talk turned to the idols, with Raymond admitting he is in trouble because he was caught looking for one, rather than finding it. Garrick spoke about having suspicions about where an idol may be, before Alex made a not so subtle plea to the tribe that if you’re nervous and have an idol, you should play it. Which appeared to make Peta consider it, leading to Feras expertly suggesting if you’re that nervous at the first tribal council, maybe the game isn’t for you. And if you’ve heard a name, now would be a good time to trust it.

With that the tribe voted, Peta held on to her idol and like Frankie, was crushed to learn that most of the tribe hated her and the buff crew, as she was swiftly booted from the game. And side note, Alex, I am so disappointed in you for your attitude, despite the hot pink speedo. As she arrived at Loser Lodge, I pulled her in for a big hug and despite reading the alphas on both tribes for letting arrogance get in the way, assured her that despite the loss, her exit was iconic and TBH, sometimes that is all you can hope for. As I served up a plate of Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos on her way to the airport.

This nachos is honestly glorious. A copycat of the GYG version, it is fiery and fresh, with a punch of tangy salsa and creamy avocado to have you coming back for more. And dry up even the most shocked tears.

Enjoy!

Peta Habennetto Chicken Nachos
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g chicken breasts
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp habanero sauce, plus extra to serve
2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp salt
½ tsp oregano
¼ tsp black pepper
500g corn chips
2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
400g can black beans
½ cup Pico de Vincent Gallo
1 cup Salsa Struthers
1 cup Lady Gaugamole
sour cream, to taste

Method
Combine the chicken, garlic, lime zest and juice, olive oil, habanero and spices in a large bowl, cover and pop in the fridge to marinate for a couple of hours.

Preheat the oven to 180C.

Once the chicken is saucy, pop it on a lined baking sheet and pop in the oven to bake for 20-30 minutes, or until cooked through and a little charred on the outside. Remove from the oven and leave to cool for about 15 minutes before roughly chopping.

Once ready, layer six bowls with some corn chips and sprinkle with the cheese. Top with black beans, pico de gallo, salsa, chicken and a little more cheese. Place the bowls on a baking sheet and place under a medium grill for five minutes, or until the cheese is melty and delicious.

Remove, top with sour cream, guac and habanero. And then devour.


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Frankie Guascide Double

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Titans V Rebels, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor eight batches of castaways were marooned in the middle of nowhere, ready to face the elements and each other until only one remained. A sole survivor, if you will. Of course there were also a duo of floptina seasons on 9 and 7, but as is oft the case, I’ve digressed. Last year, a batch of Heroes and Villains were pitted against each other and gurl, there was drama. Though once again George proved to lack the skills to jag a win, as Shonee’s bestie Liz stood taller than the rest, avenged her blindside and snatched the win. 

This year, we’re back in Samoa, as 24 castaways were split down tribal lines based on whether they are successes or march to the beat of their own drum. Or as marketing has positioned it, Titans or Rebels. Aka Champions V Contenders 3, with David vs Goliath teas. But that doesn’t matter either, what matters is that JLP’s arms are back on our screen. First we met Titan Viola who is charming, ripped and frankly iconic, and that just isn’t because she could (rightly) crush me like a bug. I mean, she anointed herself Queen V and yeah, it feels correct. Lawyer Charles was less charming, but was also super successful and rocked socks and sandals, so I have a soft spot. Valeria was next up, an iconic model and damn I hope she lasts as that fluffy jacket will struggle in the weather after a month and I need to watch that journey. And then we met Mark the diplomat, who gives off the energy of an early flameout or a strong winner. Likely no in between. Oh and Nathan is ripped, which is sometimes all that matters. But who knows, maybe he will be more.

We pivoted from our rule makers to our rule breakers and what they lacked in Viola and Valeria, they made up for in sheer scrappy energy. Garrick rocked a leather jacket like all good mall cops as he gave big ‘hey, fellow youths’ energy, bar manager Peta looks like Nat Bass covered in tatts, Kelli the psychologist feels better placed on the Titans at first glance based on her career as a psych, but looks wild and ugh, I live for it. Though I would obvs hate it if I was on the beach with her. Oh and Feras is kinda hot, though he loves King George, so I worry about him being way too much. And then there is poor old Ray works in DVDs, so we know he needs a win in this modern era of streaming.

The Rebels stopped looping the Titans boat and taunting them long enough for everyone to disembark and meet Jonathan on the shore for the first challenge of the season. After a little getting to know you, that is. Kelli was first up introducing herself, dancing around and turning me on her quicker than Silky Nutmeg Ganache on her first season. Before we fell in love with her again on All Stars, that is. Raymond from DVDs was self-deprecating before JLP bounced over to the actual Titans, where Viola straight up queened it around. Again. Because, duh. Oh and Jaden is a soft giant hunk of man. Which is not thirst, just a fact.

But, finally, the challenge.

After everyone whacked on their buffs they learnt they would race out to a pontoon to collect fire making gear, bring it back, build a fire to light a massive totem and burn through their flag. With the winners getting fire and flint. Losers, obvi, get nothing. The tribes raced out where I met my current favourite, Alex, who was rocking a hot pink speedo. So swoon, give him the coin. Shut it down, thank you zaddy. The Titans did a little chain, while the Rebels just schlepped it back solo and kinda powered ahead. Though maybe because Tobias is built like an absolute unit. And if he were in a speedo, I presume, he would be my fave. But alas. The Titans realised they were in trouble, so pivoted, to copy the Rebels. Everyone kind of agreed they had enough wood at the same time, so it became a battle to get a flame with Nathan powering for the Titans while Aileen kinda struggled. She traded out with Rianna as Nathan lit the torch and lit the fire. Sadly for the Titans, however, they hadn’t built it up enough and it went out just as quickly. As Alex sauntered back and forth in his speedo, Tobias traded in for Rianna and got fire, lighting the Rebels torch to light  their fire, before they nurtured it long enough to light the totem and flag, handing them the first victory over the Titans.

Proving, once again, that nothing beats a man in speedos. And yes, using that logic, Alex is my winner pick. Viola will have to be our Fourth Place Robbed Goddess, I guess.

We followed the victors back to camp as the tribe made their official introductions with Alex sharing he is a maths teacher, Rianna opting to go by Riri, sweet Scott won my heart simply by working for Mona (again, swoon). Kelli meanwhile is planning to hide being a psychologist, which makes sense but is unlikely to matter in the long run, given she is an easy target if they lose the first challenge. Alex meanwhile cemented himself as my winner pick, ready to use being a teacher to read the tribe and adjust his behaviour accordingly like he does in the school.

Over at the new Titans camp, superfan Eden was vibing and in shock to be on a tribe with a former AFL player, a strong man, a lawyer, diplomat, lecturer and a midwife. Despite Eden potentially nerding people into booting him out, his plan to win hearts and minds by using his passion for film as a cinema manager is wise. I mean, the logic that everyone has a favourite movie tracks and I have high hopes for him. Plus,  he seemed to find a nice pack of nerds to shield him from drama. Nathan, Jaden and Winna, aka the strong guys, all proved to have no idea how to build a shelter or really contribute, which annoyed the shit out of literally everyone. None more so than the women, who watched them stare at Valeria while they worked thatching palm frond roofing.

Frankie and Nathan wandered off to find supplies, cementing a quick little alliance because she felt he was so dumb that she could well and truly control him. She flagged Valeria as a potential risk to her game but wanted to keep strength for the moment. While she formed real alliances with weaker people like Eden and Caroline to take control. And presumably make it to the end together so she can beat them in challenges, which TBH, is shortsighted. But I digress, maybe she will shine.

We returned to the Rebels the next morning where Feras was vibing with the beauty of the location, despite the fact he had zero sleep the night before. Mainly because Kelli refused to shut up as Alex and Peta had a naughty cuddle, as did Tobias and Sarah. Before he could get into the deets, we ventured over to the Titans, where things were decidedly more bleak as the tribe got drenched by the rain as they continued to struggle with forming anything close to resembling a shelter. Valeria, more than anyone, was filled with rage over the situation, hoping for them to figure something else before she ages like she is on the beach from Old due to the sleeping conditions. Valeria and Viola, thankfully, were vibing and ready to lock in a tight alliance, hoping to loop in with Frankie and Mark. Speaking of Mark, he was busy speaking Thai with Winna, while Jessica started to spiral, feeling like she is on the outs. 

After Nathan briefly rocked some speedos like the zaddy he is, he caught up with Jess who made the most of her nerves, pointing out a lot of the strong girls have the same skills – being strong – and as such, suggested Frankie was disposable. Which Nathan obviously took straight back to Frankie and just like that, Jess, you in danger girl!

The tribes came together with Jonathan for the first immunity challenge of the season where they would have to race to lift a crate to uncover a heavy wrecking ball. They would then pull it through a series of obstacles before rolling it down a ramp to knock over pins. First to knock them all down, jagging immunity and saving themselves from joining the Des Quilty first boot club. Given the Titans are ripped, they got out to an early lead until the Rebels overtook them and pulled ahead, giving them a very handy head start. The Rebels powered through the obstacles, until Jaden and Winna double handedly closed the gap. Both tribes took different approaches with getting the ball to the top of the tower, with the Rebels once again playing it smart and taking back the lead as they quickly knocked their first pin. As the Titans struggled to get the ball up, the Rebels got to work prepping for their second go around, knocking another target as the Titans got their first. Despite going for their third roll, the Rebels missed, which left the Titans enough time to make a play to overtake. Sadly, however they tangled their roped, leaving the Rebels to knock the last over and scoring immunity.

Back at camp the Titans were all nervous and anxious as Jessica pulled them together to call them out for not being smart or cohesive, and losing everything. Frankie immediately jumped in and told everyone they tried their best and that is all that should matter. While Jessica kinda continued to stand her ground, despite clearly annoying people. As they split up, Frankie and Nathan quickly locked in their votes for Jessica before splitting up and going person to person to rally the troops. Nathan, thankfully, in speedos. Zaddy Nathan, however, told Kitty and Caroline to stick with him and he will carry them through the game, which makes me nervous. While Frankie, Viola and Valeria spoke about looking forward to getting rid of Jess and sleeping soundly. 

Nathan moved on to Eden, locking in an alliance, telling Eden too that he should stick with him, Jaden and Frankie. And while everyone would love to be carried, Eden clocked the offer for what it is, and as such, decided to rally a counter move. Or at least, the majority in Nathan’s majority. After Eden locked in Kitty and Caroline, he went to Mark to loop him in. Jess arrived at the same time, calling out the strong trio and somehow, stumbled into an alliance as they floated blindsiding one of the brawny peeps. Caroline, Mark and Eden then looped in Charles, debating the merits of getting rid of Jess as an easy vote or switching things up before the trio got a chance to take control. Before deciding on Frankie, given Nathan and his speedo will have no other option than to align with them.

Sadly for them and their plan, Mark decided the Vs were key to their plan and given they have been close with Frankie, I just don’t see it playing out simply. Wina and Jaden meanwhile continued to lock in their plan for Jess, though Winna grew nervous as he saw Jess was smiling and TBF, that is a kind of great read. Despite clearly being an accident. The Vs and Frankie pulled Mark and Charles aside to talk about the Jess plan and despite everyone actively discussing a plan against her, Frankie felt she was pretty safe and could read the tribe if things started to fall apart.

At tribal council Nathan spoke about finishing strong, despite the tribe proving to be an absolute mess. Particularly given he feels the need to take the hero moments of each challenge, and promptly bombing. As JLP read them for filth, the tribe laughed about how brutal his assessment was, before Frankie spoke about all the Titans struggling to get used to losing, given they are high achievers. Caroline called the tribe out for not playing smart, lacking a leader and as such, everyone was wandering aimlessly. Frankie countered they need leadership, not necessarily a leader, while Nathan spoke about being keen to be a leader, given that is what everyone kind of expects. While trying to say everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, it made it sound more like a read about the weaker people.

Jess spoke about needing to find balance between strengths, and not duplicating strengths to make sure the tribe has a diverse range of skills for challenges. As Frankie and Nathan smuggly smiled, feeling like she was digging her hole. Mark then spoke about dichotomy, wiping the smile off Nathan’s face as he wondered what the word meant. Viola meanwhile spoke about building strong friendships, though wisely cautioned that she also picked the right people to rely on. Which is ominous for Frankie, no? Mark admitted he was nervous about his plan coming together, while Frankie spoke about her confidence given it is kind of an easy vote and the game will kick off once they get back to camp.

With that the tribe voted and right on cue, the game kicked off a little earlier than Frankie and Nathan were anticipating, as the Vs locked in with the majority and sent Frankie out of the game the first boot. To her credit, as Frankie arrived at Loser Lodge, she took her blindside on the chin as while she felt it was a bad move to lose strength so early, she understood it was a game. I assured her that while her confidence contributed to her downfall, most of the blame should fall on Nathan’s people-dragging shoulders, given nobody wants to be the bottom of someone elses alliance. Which seemed to do the trick, as we toasted her brief run with a pair of Frankie Guascide Double.

This little Shake Shack copycat of the Roadside Double is so rich and punchy, only someone as strong as Frankie could handle it. The melty cheese, rich beef and a glorious mix of sweet and salty bacon jam are a true power trio.

Enjoy!

Frankie Guascide Double
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
2 Briocher Bünsberg, halved
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
500g beef mince
kosher salt and pepper, to taste
4 slices Swiss cheese
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
½ – 1 cup Sosie Bacon Jam

Method
Heat a griddle of medium heat until warmed. Brush the insides of the buns with some melted butter and place open-side down on the griddle for a couple of minutes to toast. Transfer to a plate.

In a large bowl, scrunch the mince with your hands with a good whack of salt and pepper until just combined. Split into 4 even pucks and pop on a plate to rest.

Increase the heat to medium-high and once scorching, add the pucks and smash with a spatula until they are about 1 cm thick. Cook for about 3 minutes before flipping, topping with a slice of cheese and cooking for a further couple of minutes.

To assemble, divide the mustard between the top of the buns and pile a duo of cheesy patties on the bottoms. Top with a generous helping of bacon jam, close the bun and devour. Like the beautiful, built icon that you are.


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Banh Melinda Bowlga

Canada's Drag Race 4, Canada’s Drag Race, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls starred in the Brooke Lynn Hytes rusical. Which finally brought us the most iconic guest judge of all time, Countess LuAnn De Lesseps. But I’m getting ahead of myself. All the dolls turned a solid performance, given we’re down to the pointy end of the season, but it was Aurora who truly shone. She gave perfect ballet and smutty Brooke, leading to her second win of the season. While Venus continued her stint at the stop, alongside Nearah and Melinda, who gave Brooke by way of Megan. On the flipside, Denim was kinda just there while Kiki was good, but not great, which was enough to land them in the bottom. Where Kiki was tragically felled as a robbed goddess.

Backstage Denim was feeling her oats to have sent Kiki home because she is an icon, though she did argue it was also kind of her time given she had been in the bottom four times. Nearah meanwhile pointed out that Kiki will still look the best at the finale, and that has got to count for something. As they sat down to kiki – not Kiki – Denim was proud to have survived because the judges love her weird energy. Talk turned to Aurora being the frontrunner before Nearah pivoted, pointing out that Venus is the only friendly one left given she doesn’t tuck. Talk thankfully turned to the legendary Melinda, praising her killer, dramatic run over the course of the season. Particularly given everyone expected her to be the first one out based on her entry look. Which, fair.

The next day the dolls were still vibing to have made it to the top five of Season 4. While Nearah joked it was kinda a little crowded for her liking. Brad interrupted the fun looking like Barbie himself, to announce that for this week’s maxi challenge the dolls would be making over their loved ones. Nearah burst into tears as soon as she saw her ripped AF fiance Jakob. Venus sobbed in her mum Joanne’s arms, Aurora’s best friend Trinity is STUNNING and bought a letter from her parents and their friendship is so, so sweet and I ship it hard. Also, crown Aurora now, please. Venus will make a lovely first alternate, I guess. Aurora then read the letter aloud, with them vowing to love and support her forever as Melinda and Denim sobbed either side of her. Denim’s mum Cheryl – not Hole – is absolutely adorable as is Melinda’s partner Scott who looks like he is that really nice manager in the office.

And knowing everything he went through before Melinda left, it is just stunning to see him doing so well.

With zero time to wipe away the tears, Brad announced that for this week’s mini challenge the dolls would be doing a little photoshoot to update their LinkedIn. And their loved ones would be getting them into quick drag. Melinda and Scott laughed their way through the experience as Melinda charmed the hell out of the shoot, with him looking on proudly. Nearah rode Jakob like a drill sergeant, with Nearah selling the photoshoot despite being a total mess. Denim was an 80s clown delight and TBH, her mum slayed. Aurora looked stunning as Trinity is a glorious icon and as such, looked great in her shot. Venus looked like Fran Drescher as her mum shot for Cher. Rightly though Melinda took out the win as Scott honestly did a better job than Melinda usually does.

Before departing Brad announced that the dolls would be making over their loved ones to make their red carpet debut. With them along for the ride as plus ones. Oh, and they have to make the outfits from scratch. They split up to come up with concepts, with Nearah nervous about covering all that meat of her ripped fiance. Venus was relying on that scretch fabric, just wanting to do her mother proud. Despite how stressed the challenge is making her, given it is a week before the finale. Scott was busy telling Melinda to get drawing and slay, while Denim was desperate to take out a victory as her mum gave off less chaotic Katya’s mum energy. So it just may happen. Aurora and Trinity on the other hand continued to vibe and you just know they will slay.

Brad returned with the divine Sarain Fox as Venus told her how much she means to her, grateful to be the first indigenous queen to make it to the top five. Likely four. Probably winner, maybe. As she planned to be the red carpet, while her mum was the award. Nearah and Buffy were going to go glorious in gold, with Nearah excited to redeem herself with the love of her fiance. Denim meanwhile was making a Denim jumpsuit, while her mother – now known as Velvet – will be super stunning in a gown. Aurora and Supernova will be gorgeous in green, though Brad was worried the concept was too basic. While Melinda and Conchita would be in asymmetrical flowy gowns.

After Brad left, Aurora immediately pivoted to purple fabric with zero stretch, hoping to give more galaxy and get the win. Denim meanwhile started to spiral as the needle kept falling out of the sewing machine, with her mum immediately stepping in and calming her down and keeping her on task. Melinda took Scott to the mainstage to practise his walk with Scott absolutely dominating and giving sass and yeah, a star IS born. Venus’ mum wasn’t as energetic as her daughter wanted, while Nearah admitted she has been forcing Buffy to practise walking in heels for months. Denim and her mum were polished as hell, while Trinity is a straight up model. But back in the Werk Room, the dolls madly tried to make final notes before their loved ones departed. After which Venus and Nearah admitted they were very nervous about the looks.

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls splitting up to get their loved ones in drag, with Venus sharing her mum’s drag name would be Uranus. Talk turned to how the lovers met, with Melinda laughing about meeting Scott in a bathhouse. Nearah and Jakob met on Grindr before proposing in a carpark. Jakob opened up about coming out when she met Nearah and how proud she is that Nearah was always so visibly out. Talk turned to the parents and what it is like raising queer children, with Venus’ mum an absolute icon. Living for her two queer kids. Denim’s mum meanwhile spoke about Denim’s bravery and how she took him all over the country to get all the care and support he needed to come into the man he is and ugh, I’m crying, the dolls are crying. Give them the win, this is too beautiful.

Brooke, Brad and Traci were joined by Sarain on the judges panel as the dolls and their loved ones stomped the A Star Is Born runway. With Venus and Uranus absolutely dominating, as Uranus gave va-va-voom and ugh, she’s the best. Nearah and Buffy looked stunning as a goddess and curtain, with Buffy’s arms alone a win. Melinda and Conchita gave drama and were so hilariously camp and stunning. While Denim emphatically screamed I am getting my win, given she and her mum legit looked like twins. And their looks were glorious. While Aurora and Supernova were shimmering and stunning.

The judges lived for Venus’ concept and how well executed everything was. Particularly how proud Uranus was as she was watching her daughter slay. Nearah was read for being a little basic with the design and not finishing the looks. But TBH, it was hard given Buffy, again, is ripped. Though Brooke wanted her to play with the proportions which makes so much sense. Melinda was read for having too much of a story, with everyone just wishing they leaned into the simple elegance of their love. Denim received wall to wall praise, particularly how she let her mum completely shine. While the judges lived for Aurora’s elegance, though wished she gave something a little bigger. Given Trinity still looked like a glorious woman, rather than making it drag.

Backstage Aurora felt horrible to have stumbled at the last hurdle, while they praised Venus for how great her mum was. Denim rightly got her flowers from her sisters, given she is clearly taking the win. Aurora shared how disappointed she was to be in the bottom, before Nearah sobbed about how much it hurts to have bombed this close to the end. While Melinda was just happy to see Scott so excited by the entire process, grateful to be able to give that to her loved one.

Ultimately Denim took out her first win of the season and as such, was the first finalist of Season 4. She was joined by Venus and Aurora as Nearah and Melinda had to lip sync for the final slot. And given Nearah is Nearah, we knew the tragedy was coming before it happened as she can turn a show. As expected, she absolutely demolished Carly Rae Jepson’s I Didn’t Just Come Here to Dance and while Melinda was solid and served sex, you couldn’t take your eyes off Nearah as she was rightly sent through to the finale as the iconic Melinda became the other robbed goddess of the season.

As she arrived backstage, I pulled mother Melinda in for an epic hug and immediately burst into tears, heartbroken about the fact we won’t get to follow her story all the way to the end. She patted me on the back and assured me it was fine, given she earned her mother card week after week and as such, is the most memorable part of the season. Which is better than a win. As is a piping hot bowl of Banh Melinda Bowlga.

If there is one thing I love above anything else – well, almost anything – it is turning something into a bowl meal. And this is perfection. Fresh and creamy cucumbers pair perfectly with the sing of meat and a zing of pickle to deliver nothing but flavour.

Enjoy!

Banh Melinda Bowlga
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
½ cup rice vinegar
⅓ cup maple syrup
5 tbsp toasted sesame oil
1 tsp kosher salt
4 carrots, thinly sliced lengthways
2 lebanese cucumbers, halved, seeded and quarters
1 jalapeño, seeded and sliced
¼ cup mint, finely chopped
1 avocado, cubed
2 limes, zested and juiced
500g pork mince
3 shallots, trimmed and sliced
6 garlic cloves, minced
½ cup tamari
2 tbsp fish sauce
2 tbsp chilli paste
3 cups Coconut Richa
½ cup sriracha mayo
¼ cup mixed sesame seeds
¼ cup peanuts, roughly chopped

Method
First, Pop the rice vinegar, a quarter of a cup of maple syrup and a tablespoon of toasted sesame oil with the salt in a small saucepan over medium heat and bring to almost a boil. Immediately remove from the heat, stir and allow to cool for five minutes before adding the carrots. Leave to pickle for an hour or so.

Next, combine the cucumber, jalapeño, mint, avocado, 2 tbsp sesame oil, lime zest and juice in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper.

Heat the final lug of sesame oil in a large skillet and brown the meat, shallots and garlic over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until golden. Add the tamari, fish sauce, chilli and remaining maple with half a cup of water and cook for a further ten minutes or so. Or until sticky and crisp.

To serve, spoon some rice in the bowl and divide the mince between them. Drain the carrots and divide amongst the bowls, followed by the cucumber salad. Drizzle with mayo and sprinkle with the sesame seeds and peanuts. Then, finally, devour.


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Christmas Burgera Melle

Burgers, Main, Poultry, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race UK the dolls, finally, played the Snatch Game. And while the UK always delivers a better than average game, there is always quite a range in the performances. For every Ginger, for instance, there is a Sugar’s Miley. As hinted at Ginger slayed, yet again, delivering a masterclass on her way to securing her third win in a row. Kate meanwhile broke through and dominated. While Tomara Tomaraed, and obviously had Ru cackling as Cara surprised with a fun turn. At the other end of the pack, Vicki was one note and in her head while DeDe was just there. Sadly for Vicki, when it came to the lip sync, DeDe was more than just there, turning a show and slaying the game, sending Vicki back to Cornish. Presumably to have a pasty.

Backstage DeDe was gagged to have sent another badge holder home, before everyone was gagged to discover said badge holder had left a shady, shady mirror message. Michael then suggested that maybe DeDe was busy taking souls and growing in power, while Ginger just wished she brought the fire and comedy in the challenges instead and was able to realise her powers. Kate meanwhile was primed and ready for a win, given she is now in the top three and just needs to take another step. Oh and as they split up to de-drag, DeDe pointed out that Vicki probs doesn’t like Cara for being loud. Which is iconic of DeDe.

The top six returned the next day with everyone very jealous to see Ginger pulling away with a third badge on her chest, while Michael reminded us that the race is a marathon and she is still backing herself. Cara opened up about feuding with her inner saboteur before Kate tried to bring things back to memorialising Vicki, though all Michael cared about was getting her next badge.

Ru dropped by for a little mini challenge with puppets, because why? Everybody loves puppets, that’s why! First up to the gloryhole was Cara who pulled out Ginger, Michael grabbed Cara, Tomara jagged Michael, Kate got DeDe and DeDe got Tomara leaving Ginger to roast Kate. After they dragged up their felted friends, the dolls’ got to work reading with Cara so very, very bad it was iconic. Michael thankfully read Cara for filth and had a ball, Tomara gave manic energy and at least had herself giggling, while Kate too, was a bomb. Though at least she pissed off DeDe. DeDe in turn was having a ball as she bombed before Ginger, thankfully, made Michael feel less alone by reading Kate the house down boots. And ugh, crown her now, she is perfection.

Rightfully Ginger took out yet another victory, before Ru announced that for this week’s maxi challenge, the girls would be paired up and starring in screen tests Footballers Wags, Holedark or Femmerdale. All where two women vie for the attention of a hunk. And for winning the mini, Ginger was in charge of the pairings, jagging Kate for herself and cursing Michael with Cara and leaving DeDe and Tomara to have fun. And you know that was strategic and again, crown Ginger, she is a damn icon.

After Ru departed the dolls sat down to read through the scripts and fight over the shows. Cara was desperate to play one of the WAGs, which is coincidentally the one Kate and Ginger wanted. Though given Cara stepped aside from her dream role in the rusical, Ginger kindly stepped aside and took Holedark for her duo. So, I guess Kate and Ginger are winning and Cara is gone, right? Tomara meanwhile was nervous about being paired with DeDe, given she is becoming a power bottom. Cara and Michael on the other hand were vibing, and maybe I have read this all wrong. The one thing I know is that Tomara and DeDe are safe, because Ru will love them being unable to do the accents.

Michael and Cara were first up to film with Michelle and Zaddy Jacob from the Pit Crew, and while Cara was full Cara, Michael was a charming, wild cougar. Particularly since she did her own sound effects. The dolls from Holedark slayed from start to finish, chewing up the scenery, the Pit Crew and the set, TBH. Tomara and DeDe, however, were wild, unhinged and so much bloody fun, whether they could nail an accent or not. Or remember any damn lines at all. 

Elimination Day arrived with the dolls thriving and vibing, as they split up to beat their mugs for the runway. Ginger opened up about somehow swallowing a trio of sewing needles once, leading to a bunch of injuries. This got the girls opening up, with Cara talking about cracking her skull, and Michael busted her knee and hole.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by the one and only Joel Dommett – he is hot and hosts Survivor, so I will stan – as Michael opened up the Pajamarama Runway looking an absolutely stunning, fucked-up mess, Cara meanwhile was a sexy, sleeping beauty and Kate Butch gave black and white glamazonian. Who died on the runway, looking beautiful in the process. I mean, she was flawless. Ginger gave Dolly Parton playgirl for John Waters, DeDe gave full plushie before Tomara closed the show doing the sluttier, Barbarella version of DeDe’s look.

When it came to the scenes Cara and Michael were a solid, salacious duo, though TBH, the scene was just boring. Michael received wall to wall praise for the scene and the runway, while Cara was read for being at 100 the entire time, despite doing really well. And showing diversity on the runway. Kate and Ginger’s scene was absolute perfection as the duo squeezed every laugh out of all the moments. Kate was completely beloved for everything she gave in the scene and for turning it out on the runway. Even giving a glorious mug. Ginger too got top marks for everything she did, begging the question, is she about to get her fourth badge in a damn row? DeDe and Tomara’s scene was surprisingly hilarious, given they were stupid and silly in every moment. DeDe was read for being on the struggle bus during the shoot, but her runway was deemed cute. Tomara on the other hand was beloved for being wild, and they were delighted by the runway.

Before Ru ominously praised the dolls for all doing well, making it a difficult choice ahead.

Backstage the dolls quickly grabbed their drinks and toasted each other for having the best time and turning it out. Tomara meanwhile was proud of herself and ready to silence her self-doubt, while Kate was very hopeful about taking out her first win of the season. And just as hopeful she wouldn’t have to share with Ginger. Michael meanwhile was a little confused, thrilled to receive praise though feeling like she will still be in the bottom. While Cara was just outright nervous, given how the rest of the dolls’ critiques went.

Ginger was sent to safety before Kate, rightly, jagged her first badge of the season. Ru then announced that it was a difficult decision to figure out the bottom two, though sadly it was Michael and Cara, as DeDe and Tomara were sent to safety. Despite being gutted, the dolls slayed Touch Me (I Want Your Body) by the one and only Samantha Fox. And well, their looks were perfect for the song, both the dolls were fired up and in the pocket from start to finish. Despite both of them slaying, however, there have already been too many non-eliminations and as such, through tears, Michael was sent to safety before Cara was shown the door.

As Cara arrived backstage, I pulled her in for a massive hug and reminded her to hold her head up high. I mean, it is always a little easier to be eliminated in an episode where everyone does well, particularly since it lends itself to being seen as a robbed goddess. And that was all she needed to hear to cheer her up. Though, honestly, how could you be annoyed while smashing a Christmas Burgera Melle.

Yeah, yeah, it is only November, but it is the festive season, damnit, and I will not hear it. I’ve been hearing it for months now! Plus, when a burger tastes this good, don’t complain and just be happy. Spiced, rich and warm, once you try it, you will never worry about getting festive too soon.

Enjoy!

Christmas Burgera Melle
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
250g turkey mince
½ tsp chilli
½ tsp ground sage
¼ tsp cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste
200g brie, sliced
½ cup Shayonnaise Swain
1 tsp cranberry sauce
2 milk buns
1 cup Nick Ciabatta Stuffing
1 cup Gabriel Mash
½ cup Howie Doriesling Gravy

Method
Combine the turkey mince, chilli, sage and cinnamon in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch to combine and form into two balls. Pop a skillet over medium heat and when hot, pop the patty in the pan and press with a spatula to flatten to about 1cm thick. Cook for a few minutes before flipping, topping with the brie and cooking for a further few minutes or until cooked through.

Combine the mayo and the cranberry sauce in a bowl.

To assemble, split the buns, smear the base with the cranberry mayo, add a dollop of mash, a lug of gravy, then the patty and brie followed by the stuffing. Then closing and devouring, like a festive icon.


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