Chilli con Tarane Pittza

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Pizza, Snack, TV Recap

After sending Peter out of the game to become the final juror, our final two awoke on the final day shocked and excited to have made it to the end and potentially hours away from being a hell of a lot richer. They then arrived at treemail to discover the final two breakfast, rather than cookies or lollies.

As they cooked the feast, Jericho shared his childhood growing up poor in the Philippines and spoke about being underestimated the entire game. He then outlined his entire game, using Luke as a meatshield, using the cookies to build alliances and avoided receiving votes until day 52. On the flipside, Tara spoke about her journey being voted out of Samatau – and saved by a twist – and somehow surviving her way through 21 tribal councils. They then packed up the camp and got quite emotional to be leaving the place they’ve called home for eight weeks … before heading off to the final tribal council.

Jonathan gave Jericho and Tara a quick rundown of how final tribal council plays out before they delivered their open statements. Tara spoke about how terrified she was by her competitors on day one and she knew that her social game was the only thing that could save her. She outlined how she spoke to everyone to keep her options open while riding her shield Locky, before slaying him and not taking the easy vote at the final four. Jericho then congratulated everyone on their gameplay before telling everyone he wasn’t as lovable as they assumed, with his usual eloquence. He then referred to his cookies as a shield before I started having horrific Amanda Kimmel final tribal bombing flashbacks.

Queen Michelle kicked off the festivities by congratulating the final two on sitting there – savage – before asking them to each point out their biggest move in the game. Tara singled out the Locky vote as her greatest achievement, orchestrating the boot while allowing her enough time to prove she could survive without him. Jericho’s big move was the cookie alliance. Amanda, can you hear me?

Anneliese was next, giving Jericho the chance to defend himself for riding Luke’s coattails. Once again, he gave a delightful metaphor about riding Luke like Santa in a sleigh, meaning he was whipping Luke to get him to do what he needs. She point blank told Tara that Jericho was currently above her in her mind, and questioned why she chose to save Jericho at the final four. Once again Tara clearly explained that she felt Jericho deserved to be in the finals … and knew that she needed someone strong in the challenges to battle Pete and carry her to final tribal.

Locky – still clothed – then congratulated Tara on getting him out of the game before asking Jericho if their swim in the deep water was truly personal, or just a game. Jericho told him it was his highlight of his time, and Locky deemed it enough. Ziggy then asked each of them to explain why the other deserved to win the game, which highlighted nothing more than the fact both of them aren’t very good at explaining their games but damn can they talk up their pal.

King of the Jury Jarrad arrived to talk smack about his whiny underlings before asking Jericho where his game went wrong, if he loses tonight. Thankfully he said that booting Tessa from the jury was what scares him the most. Finally adding some interest to the affair, Jarrad warned Jericho that like the merge vote, Jarrad would be underlining his vote to send a message to him. May the odds be ever in your favour, mwahahahaha.

Sarah then got involved, telling Jericho he played a skittish, confusing game before reminding Jericho that he let her, as a cat, drown. She then pointed out that he constantly contradicts himself, and asked him to explain himself better. Which he did not. Next up was Luke as the clouds opened up, dumping rain on everyone as he went in to bat for his friend. Kinda. Saying Jericho kinda deserves credit for some of their moves.

Peter arrives, terrifying Tara, before asking her the gentle question of what she did while still hiding under Locky’s wing. Sadly she outlined getting rid of AK, which happened after she was voted out of her tribe. Peter then asked Jericho to give him three words

Henry then fired up and rolled out his crazy eyes before announcing that he wasn’t a yoga instructor. He then asked Tara when she started playing the game, which she stupidly said was day 49. This pissed Henry off, so he cut her off and succinctly outlined her gameplay for the jury. He then tore into Jericho for his wishy-washy decision making, and booting Tessa from the jury despite the fact she said she wouldn’t vote for Tara … and then took Tara to the end. Jericho then seemed to get some fire, and defended his game and spoke about being proud of having Henry’s blood on his hands.

One by one the jury went out to vote before Jonathan dropped the bomb that unlike last year he wouldn’t be reading the votes on the island, instead taking them back to read in Australia VIA BOAT TO SYDNEY HARBOUR. YAS BISH, YAAAAAASSSSSS.

After some brief chit-chat, JLP got down to the business of crowning our winner. The votes rolled in for Jericho, followed by a second Jericho and a trio of Tara’s before a trio of Jericho’s handed him the win and the title of sole survivor. While Tara couldn’t convince the jury she deserved the title, she did play an extremely strong, flexible game and more than earned her place as the runner-up and a big fat, congratulatory Chilli con Tarane Pittza.

 

 

I have such warm memories of being fascinated by the kitsch ‘90s-ness of a Mexican Pizza. I mean, sure, spicy mince, bean and capsicum are delicious. But pile on some sour cream, guacamole and stab it with chips and you’ve got a hilarious pizza party.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chilli con Tarane Pittza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
passata and italian herbs, for the aforementioned bases
½ batch Chilli Con Kim Carnes
½ red capsicum, thinly sliced
1 cup mozzarella cheese
1 avocado, mashed
corn chips, hot sauce and sour cream, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and prepare bases as per Zsa Zsa’s instructions.

Then prepare the Chilli as per Kimmy’s instructions – remember when she started it all? Such an innocent time.

Smear the dough with the passata and italian herbs, heap on chilli, splay with capsicums and cover with cheese. Bake for twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Dollop the mashed avocado in the centre, spear with some corn chips and serve with some hot sauce and sour cream.

Then, obvi, devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

Tony Nachos

Main, Snack, Survivor: Game Changers – Mamanuca Islands, TV Recap

Previously – aka minutes ago in viewing time – on Survivor, Sandra continued to be charming, Michaela continued to have killer facial expressions and poor Ciera found herself becoming the first boot of Survivor: Game Changers without having her mum around to vote out in her place.

We opened up at Mana the next day, where Tony announced how bored he was waiting for everyone to start playing the game. Aubry and Tony then convened at the well to put into place arguably the greatest alliance of all time, consisting of them, Malcolm and Sandra aka all the threats. Tony then approached Sandra who confirmed that winners going to the end together was the only way to win twice … which she would know, given she is the only one with a double crown.

Meanwhile over at Nuku, knowing his chances of ever winning are quite slim Tai continued his scam to swindle money from Sia while Debbie – adding pragmatist to her list of titles (I’m counting it as a job) – confirmed that Tai be damned, those chickens will eventually become her dinner. To which country boy JT obviously agreed.

Back at Mana, Tony continued to overplay and returned to digging his spy bunker under the cover of darkness. Sandra and Troyzan then went for a walk to discuss strategy – or tides and their crates’ proximity to the water – sending Tony into hyperdrive and setting off the beginning of the great Sandra vs. Tony feud.

I mean, it wouldn’t be a Sandra season without her feuding with a loud male.

Things were moderately less stressful over at Nuku where Ozzy and JT were getting friendly, terrifying poor sweet Cirie. She then went for a walk to the well with Sarah where they confirmed their allegiance to each other and set off Sarah’s – could it be – winner edit as she confirmed she will be changing her game this time.

Not one to rest on her laurels, Cirie then pulled Zeke and Debbie aside to try and make even more friends that could one day become lovers, or allies. Debbie then reminded us she is a Captain in the civil Air Force – maybe, I’m honestly starting to lose track of her resume and it is only episode 2 – and that she wasn’t falling for Cirie’s charm.

Debbie then added Veterinarian to her list of professions, I assume, given her ability to detect bull shit. *Boom tish*, thank you!

Over at Mana, Sandra continued to dismantle her alliance with Tony and proceeded to pull together a majority alliance in the space of five minutes. The Queen is a Queen for a reason.

The next day Tony then Aubry aside to build a counter-alliance with Malcolm and Caleb. Tony then approached Malcolm to discuss getting rid of Sandra, as she lurked in the background, before Caleb gave us his surprisingly – sorry Caleb – insightful view on the fact you can’t really trust either Sandra or Tony but that Tony was strong and strength was still important on day five.

Wanting to give us a break from the politicking, Jiffy Pop returned for the second immunity challenge where the tribes had to man-handle a big, long, thick snake through an obstacle course. I got distracted around the time Caleb cried out how tight it was …

Once again, despite Malcolm’s best efforts to catch up – and much to Michaela’s chagrin – Nuku won immunity setting off Malcolm’s Matsing PTSD and sending Mana back to tribal council.

Back at camp Sandra and Tony got to work rallying their troops – after a brief frustrated outburst from Michaela, which isn’t as charming as it was last season.

Sandra went with the fact that once Tony is gone, people will calm down … while Tony scurried around for an idol. Hali then made a play for Courtney Yates 2.0 – aka Sandy’s ride or die bestie – and started to work on Caleb and Malcolm. This spooked Tony who then took time away from his busy idol shopping schedule to pull Caleb aside and start working on Michaela to boot Sandra instead.

Not wanting to let Tony down, Caleb approached Michaela and Varner to talk about getting rid of challenge liabilities like Sandra, neglecting to realise that Varner was the sole reason they lost the last challenge.

Queen Sandra then gave us a final pre-tribal speech to confirm that Tony has only won once and that her legacy will speak for itself tonight. Yas Queen … or horrific foreshadowing of her downfall.

At tribal they got to work debating the merits of keeping the strong players, spooking Sandra for the first time in her Survivor career … before she correctly pointed out the fact that the strong people are the reason they lost the first two challenges and fell behind, not her.

Tony then got annoyed at Troyzan for correctly pointing out that Tony was erratic and paranoid. Sandra was then viciously attacked by a bug, terrifying Michaela. Tony then said that he respects the players as they were all game changers before Varner announced that they would be getting rid of the square peg that didn’t fit into their round hole. Which appeared to terrify Sandra and excite – obviously – me.

Thankfully her fears were unfounded as Tony was revealed as the square peg and found himself out of the game as the second boot. Wanting to one up Michaela’s exit last year, Tony proceeded to warn people about blindly following Sandra.

“That’s what you get for plotting against me. That’s what you get, and the Queen stays Queen. That’s what you get and take yo’ ass home. Bye Tony, say hi to Ciera for me” Sandra Diaz-Twine, iconic.

As glad as I was to see my girl win the war, I’m sad it was at the expense of my dear friend Tony who I met whilst training to be a cop in NJ at the turn of the millennium … before milk was flown in by drones.

Despite being expelled from the force for my illegal dealing, Tony and I stayed in touch and he endeavoured to help me see the light and live an honest life. As such, Tone was delighted to see me doing something decent with my life in Ponderosa and gladly accepted a big old bowl of my Tony Nachos.

 

 

I know what you’re thinking – maybe, sometimes – how does this differ to your Keanachu Reeves jerk? For one, no chipotle and two … this is a more relaxed nachos. Single – well probably double given the size of my bowls – serve, comforting, warm and everything you need to help work through the pain of going from Sole Survivor to slayed by the Queen.

Enjoy!

 

 

Tony Nachos
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
½ batch Chilli Con Kim Carnes
2 avocados
½ lemon, juiced
salt and pepper, to taste
bag of corn chips
handful of grated cheese … are you getting the impression this is a lazy
version of nachos?
sour cream, for slatherin’
Sriracha, for drizzlin’

Method
Cook the chilli as per Kimmy’s instructions. While that is simmerin’, mash the avocados and stir through the lemon juice and a whack of salt and pepper. Cover and chill in the fridge until serving.

Once ready, layer for pasta bowls with some corn chips. Top with some chilli and some cheese.

Place the bowls on a baking sheet and place under a medium grill/broiler for five minutes, or until the cheese is melty and delicious.

Remove, top with sour cream, guacamole and sriracha and devour.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Google+.