Onion Powder

David Shakarakris Fries

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Heroes V Villains, Side, Snack, Street Food, Tapas, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Australian Survivor the Spice Girls were reunited and living it up on the Heroes after Liz accepted the offer to mutiny. She quickly told George that at the tribal council she jumped ship, the Villains had actually wanted to blindside Hayley, unaware that George felt like his best shot at making it to the end was working with her again. At the next challenge, he immediately spilled the beans to Hayley that she was in trouble and that it was specifically Nina that was after her. After the Heroes lost immunity, Flick and Matt were dead men walking with the Spice Girls split on who would be best for their game come merge. George wanted to work with Matt while Shiz thought Flick would be the most helpful. Which led to fireworks as Liz threatened to play her idol to save Flick at tribal council. Ultimately though, they chose peace, agreeing to vote out Stevie instead as a compromise. Breaking the hearts of the nation.

The next day George gave us the first nude scene of the season, which was way more erotic than I expected. With that out of the way, he returned to camp as everyone reflected on the trauma of tribal council and how bad they felt for Stevie. Flick meanwhile was grateful to Shonee for saving her, whispering how come the merge, they have a lot of similar targets and as such, will easily work together moving forward. Gerry meanwhile was absolutely fuming, knowing how dangerous Flick actually is to their alliance. He caught up with George and Matt, with the trio vowing to work together all the way to the end and hoping to figure out a way to get rid of Flick ASAP without upsetting the girls. Oh and unbeknownst to George, he is totally third in this little alliance.

The tribes joined Jonathan and a massive feast in the middle of the jungle, with everyone giddy to clearly have all made it to the merge. Hugging it out before JLP even told them to drop their buffs. Shaun in particular was thrilled to see Flick and Matt still alive in the game, with Gerry and George clearly gritting their teeth about the former. Hayley got emotional talking about how shocked she is to make it this far, while Simon was glad to finally become datable as a juror on his second shot.

Everyone then took their places at the table and devoured everything in sight, before David whispered to Hayley and Shaun about how much of an advantage the OG Heroes have. Though George reminded us that he shines when in trouble and as such, got to work schmoozing with everyone. Hayley admitted was shocked that both she and George made it to merge as Flick and Liz reunited with their former OG Hero allies. And promptly locked in an alliance to take control, as Hayley watched on and asked George whether she should be concerned. And while they weren’t coming for her yet – Simon says, hey! – it spurred George into action, catching up with Liz to reiterate that they are screwed.

The tribe ventured back to the former Heroes camp where Hayley suggested they come up with the new merge tribe name, with George’s crew suggesting Fa’Amolemole while Nina instead wanted Vigilantes. And while she lost out on a vote, she didn’t really care given she and the OG Heroes have the upper hand on the votes that count. As the Spice Girls and Hayley went for a swim, Flick caught up with Shaun to let him know that she had to pledge allegiance to George, Shonee and Liz at the previous tribal council and as such, one of them needs to budge on this first vote. Sadly for Flick though, he had no interest in it being him and as such, told her they will be staying Heroes strong, though trading Gerry out for Simon. And well, given she would be closer to the top of that group, she was happy to go back on her word. 

That night the alliance got together to plot about the upcoming tribal council, unaware that the Spice Girls were sitting back at camp watching them. And Flick girl, you’re in danger, because Shiz will not take it kindly if you’re really flipping on them so soon.

The next day Shiz and Flick went for an early morning walk down by the shore with Flick pretending that Simon is still the Heroes target, but she suggested she told them they need to split the vote. And then pretended it wouldn’t be on one of the Spice Girls. When it totally would. After Flick disappeared, Shonee told Liz that it was all a lie and Flick is out to get them, so pulled George aside to fill him in and tell him he was right. While he didn’t do a told-you-so dance, he got to work planning which two people would be easiest to lock in. And while George didn’t love it – and Liz sure as hell didn’t – he knew Simon was the easiest target given nobody wants to work with him, so if he offers something, surely it is a good thing. 

With that, the Spice Girls and Matt pulled Simon and Hayley aside to float the idea of working together. With George promptly throwing Flick under the bus, letting Simon know that voting him out was what she told them was the priority. Hayley was all in given she knew it was better to be amongst other threats, while Simon was awkward about being the one that everyone talks about being the target. Knowing he needed to work him just a little more, George pulled Simon aside and assured him that them working together would be so unexpected that it just may work for both of them. And once they take control, they can ride it to the end and deal with their feud once their mutual enemies are gone. Essentially.

The tribe reunited with Jonathan for the first individual immunity challenge of the season where they would have to hold their breath under grates in the ocean as the tide rises until only one was left. Or in the case of Survivor 43, as the tide rose and then fell, leaving Jeffrey to hand out immunity to both Owen and Karla. So congratulations Flick or Matt, I guess, given their professions. Everyone was still holding strong at 30 minutes before a surge took out George, Sam and Shonee in a matter of minutes. The next surge cost Liz her spot, followed by a heartbroken Shaun and Simon. Gerry was next to drop, as Shonee and George started to speculate on the sidelines, with Shonee suggesting they propose everyone unites to get rid of Hayley while George suggested Shonee is actually the more likely target for the Heroes. Back to the challenge, Flick was next out, followed by Hayley and David leaving Matt and Nina to face off before Nina tapped out, handing Matt the first individual immunity of the season. As predicted, I may note.

Back at camp everyone congratulated Matt on a hard fought victory, while Sam quickly suggested one of Shiz would be the best target. So yeah, I’m back to hating Sam. Someone I am loving though is Matt, who was thrilled to be trusted by most of the tribe and as such, ready to play both sides, though assured us (or me) that he intended to side with George to take control. Sam, Shaun, David, Flick and Nina caught up by the well with Flick quickly locking in Shonee as the target while David wanted them to split the vote on Liz to also flush her idol. Hayley and Matt joined the group, quietly nodding as they agreed to split between Shiz. Like the OG Villains, they knew they had to get Simon on board to pull it off, so Shaun pulled him aside to let him know the plan. Selling it as his last shot to prove loyalty, which is a mood.

George and Shonee meanwhile were busy figuring out the best alpha to target, with George wanting to get rid of Sam given all he cares about his loyalty and is kind of holding everyone together. Specifically Simon and Matt, who are most likely to flip back to the alphas. And you know Gerry was keen on that one, given Sam was the one that pushed to send him to the Villains originally. And as was Hayley, given he was coming for her with Nina. Poor Simon however was suffering some Villains related trauma and decided to catch up with Hayley to see what she was thinking and while she tried to gently nudge him in the direction of being smart and working with the OG Villains, he admitted that he is still unsure which way to go.

Simon then wisely approached the Spice Girls to find out what the plan was once Sam was gone, with Shonee and George telling him that he can dictate who goes next should they align. Liz and David meanwhile caught up by the well with Liz pretending the Villains were still out to get Simon, while Dave warned her that she is a target and as such, she should play her idol. She was obviously spooked, so went back to the Spice Girls with her spiralling as George and Shonee tried to keep her calm. The latter, however, was also worried about Simon not being with them and instead of fracturing again, George got to work finding another number to guarantee they have eight people to work with.

Being a bold, messy icon, George pulled Shaun aside and straight up suggested he needs to jump early rather than too late, telling him to join with the Villains to get rid of Sam, given he feels like he is running the show. Shaun ran straight to Sam to fill him in and as he scowled into the jungle about being the target, George went back to spill the beans to Shiz who were irate that he gave the plan to their opponents. As such, the girls flipped the vote to Dave to navigate around a potential idol and while the trio were feeling good, it started to spook Matt that they were all over the shop until Gerry tried to calm things down. While Simon continued to question whether he can trust George enough to keep them both around until the end.

And yes, the answer is yes, given the meat heads are more likely to beat you in challenges. And I prefer the Spice Girls.

At tribal council Hayley spoke about how difficult the first post-merge tribal council is, given everyone has built different relationships, across multiple tribes and now has competing agendas. Matt meanwhile was thrilled to be immune and having the power to make a choice that will secure his future in the game without the fear of it burning him. Yet. George mentioned this tribal council is a turning point in the game, with players setting up their shot at the end with a single decision. Oh and he is super confident, which made David scoff. Liz opened up about clearly being on the bottom of the tribe with Shonee agreeing that she feels like she is in danger, specifically concerned about having to rely on new people for her own survival. David spoke about being hopeful he has built enough relationships to come out on top, as Shonee and George started to whisper about whether Liz needs to play her idol.

George cut everyone off, throwing out Survivor is about deals, rather than relationships and if everyone holds firm, someone will be walking out of here and he won’t be coming back. Which made Flick feel super confident, given she is a female. Simon spoke about the power of being on the bottom at the merge, given you’re elevated into the swing vote position and get to choose which side to work with. Well, unless you’re Sarah who was trying to play the middle pre-merge and like Julia before her, who promptly got run over by Michelle and Aubry. With that the tribe voted and Liz played her idol for Shonee as the OG Heroes looked ready to shit their pants. Dave then tried to get in her head, telling her it was a bad move, though she wisely held firm as four votes piled up on Shonee – with her offering a quiet thanks to Flick – before a single one landed on Liz followed by the alliance of seven holding firm and taking control, sending David out of the game and Flick straight to the top of the hit list.

And they looked so angry.

Despite wanting to toss his food on the table and walk out, as David arrived at Loser Lodge there was a part of my heart that felt sorry for his stumble. The stumble being, choosing not to work with Shiz instead of turning on them and trying to take control with the boring Heroes. Thankfully he felt bad for not working with our icons – particularly since it cost him a spot on the jury – so I assured him that despite being the first alpha out, he is one I would have happily seen last longer given I think he would have played things more interestingly in a few rounds. Which seemed to cheer him up. But even if it didn’t, he got a massive bowl of David Shakarakris Fries which sure as hell did the job!

Shaker fries season is my favourite time at McDonald’s, however lately they have been opting for new flavours rather than the OG – though the cheeseburger was stunning, TBH. This little copycat may not be a perfect replica of my beloved shaker fries, though it is bloody delicious. Spicy, sweet and oh so salty, this is the perfect snack while having a cold beer on a summer afternoon (or when hungover the next day).

Enjoy!

David Shakarakris Fries
Serves: 2 dear, athletic besties.

Ingredients
2 cups Jud Beerza Battered Fries
2 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp raw caster sugar
½ tsp beef stock powder
¼ tsp dried oregano
¼ tsp dried parsley
¼ tsp cayenne pepper
¼ tsp black pepper

Method
Cook the fries as per Jud’s recipe, or if going packet because they are just as great, as per their instructions.

Meanwhile combine the rest of the ingredients together in a small bowl and sprinkle a couple of teaspoons over the fries at first, before adjusting to taste. And devouring.

Excess of the mix can be stored in an airtight container in the pantry.


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Ryan Wedgranos

Side, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor 43, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor the tribe was split into two groups as has become tradition – not back to two tribes – for a little double tribal council. Probst then threw down a challenge for reward, with the person that could last the longest in the immunity challenge winning PB&Js for the tribe. And try as Karla might, her stitched up hand proved too much to overcome as she took out immunity but left her group hungry as they headed to the first tribal council. While James quickly locked in everyone against his nemesis Owen, things weren’t so simply as Noelle played him, stealing Owen’s vote and using it to join with Sami – and a reluctant Karla – to blindside James from the game.

But first, let’s take a little step back.

We followed the winning team back to camp where they quickly got to work making their PB&Js and greedily devouring them. With that out of the way, Ryan pulled Gabler aside to quickly lock in the vote against Cassidy. They went to Cody to float the idea and while he pretended to be keen, he immediately went to catch up with Jesse and Cassidy, admitting that he really likes her and as such, wants her to stay. She then went all in, assuring them that they already have a good bond and can trust each other and as such, it makes sense they go to the end together. She then opened up to us about her love for her family and how she is playing in honour of her deceased sister, who she used to watch the show with, and well, if they eliminate her after this beautiful personal content, I will be very very angry.

Cody and Jesse caught up solo to talk through the best move for their game moving forward, unsure whether it was a good idea to keep Ryan around as a meat shield despite the risk that voting out Cassidy could potentially piss off her allies Karla and James. Jesse rightly pointed out that going to tribal council second gives them more options, suggesting that if Owen goes out they keep Cassidy around to keep James and Karla happy, while if James is gone, they could be safe to take a shot. Locking in their options, they approached Gabler to get him on board and well, this could really be interesting!

At tribal council they were positively shocked to see James sitting on the jury, though also a little bit delighted, TBH. Jesse spoke about how James clearly was in a powerful position before the split while Ryan was concerned about what his boot meant for any alliances he was in. Cassidy made Probst very happy, talking about the monster coming to get for them, particularly given they are now back to a small tribe dynamic. Ryan too was concerned, given it only takes three votes to be out of the game. We flipped back to Cassidy who spoke about how difficult it is to handle having conversations and then see the people you just spoke to disappearing to talk to other people.

Cody meanwhile loved being safe, though felt it came with the heavy price of having a little power and feeling like he was in the driver’s seat for the night. Ryan agreed that people spent more time talking to Cody than him, though he had 30 pounds of clams in his bag and well, should they vote him out, he is happy to walk out with them. While Cassidy was just nervous about how the vote will reverberate through the dynamics when the groups come back together. With that the tribe voted and tragically booted zaddy Ryan – and his clams – from the game.

After quickly dishing up James his jam, I ran to find Ryan in Ponderosa and pulled him in for a massive hug, assuring him that he played a great game. But more importantly, reminded him that he is such an inspiration and is SUPER hot to boot and as such, if he isn’t invited back to the very next possible All Stars season, I will riot, or something. He obviously thought I was joking about everything, so we laughed and celebrated his success with a big, fat bowl of Ryan Wedgranos.

You know I have a passion for fried potato in all their forms, but there is something super special about wedges. I mean, a little spiced, chunky enough to give you the perfect balance of crunch and fluff, AND their frequent collaboration with sour cream. How could you go wrong?

Enjoy!

Ryan Wedgranos
Serves: 2 dear friends that would make a glorious couple.

Ingredients
1 ½ tsp paprika
1 tsp garlic powder
½ tsp onion powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
1 tsp dried oregano
½ cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 kg potatoes, peeled and cut each into 8 wedges
3 tbsp olive oil
sour cream and sweet chilli, to serve

Method
Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Mix the paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, oregano and parmesan in a bowl. Place the potatoes in a large bowl and drizzle with the oil and sprinkle over the spice mix. Toss until well coated.

Spread the wedges out in a single layer on lined baking sheets, ensuring one of the cut sides are face down. Bake for 30-45 minutes, turning once halfway through to the other cut edge, and bake until browned and crisp.

Then devour them with a vat of sour cream and sweet chilli, which is customary in a pub.


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Cheeseburger Chappies

Main, Side, Snack, Street Food, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa 146 castaways lined up to play across 8 seasons and while their were countless iconic moments – Chappies nude scenes, for instance – and blindsides, only 8 people walked away as winners while 136 exited the game as losers. Well, assuming my maths is correct. Which, TBH, it probably isn’t. In any event, it did lead us here, with zaddy Nico, to welcome back 20 castaways returning for a shot at redemption. Or more likely, to get their torch snuffed once again.

The castaways jetted in on speed boats where we learnt that the Yontau would be made up of pre-merge boots like Shona who was not thrilled to be on a tribe with chaotic players like Tania and Pinty. Thankfully the iconic Tania was ready to learn from her mistakes and take the back seat, while Killarney was thrilled to be a mystery to her fellow castaways given she played so long ago. And trust and believe, she will be using it to her advantage. Over on Masu who all made it to the merge on their first go around, Steffi wasn’t thrilled to be competing with Chappies given he was a dirty little food thief, while Meryl was thrilled to be reunited with her former ally Dante. Despite the fact it clearly makes them both targets. PK was nervous to see Tevin on the rival tribe, given he had already blindsided him once before while Marian and Shane were thrilled to be reunited. And hopeful their season was old enough that they would be considered unknowns. 

And did I mention Queen Palesa is back? Because, work.

The two tribes’ boats docked on the shore and met up with Nico where Seamus was thrilled to be back and glad that he can’t place worse than his first go around, which is a very good point. Thoriso is glad to be a returnee despite not making the merge or playing well, while Tejan was nervous to be back after 11 long years. And Chappies was shitting his pants with excitement to be back after a matter of months, though also knew it was concerning as he is very fresh in people’s minds. Tevin meanwhile was ready for revenge on the two people that voted him out, while Marian pointed out that while she made the merge, nobody made the finale and as such, they all have something to prove. And yes, Queen Marian.

Oh and then Nico dropped the goss that they’d be playing for 2 million rand and well, they were overjoyed. Particularly Chappies, since it makes his loss make more sense, since he was destined for the double prize. Obviously.

Nico then warned them that they would have to earn that increased prize with the most intense season ever. And to prove it, they were put to the test in their first reward challenge for a flint. And said challenge would be a repeat of the Season 7 – and many US and Australian seasons too – classic where in pairs, they would have to race and collect a ring from a pole and get it back to their tribe pole, with the first team to three winning. And if the boys start pulling at each other’s clothes Australian style, we win.

Killarney and Thoriso were first up facing Palesa and Steffi, the latter of whom had an injured ACL and was worried she wouldn’t be able to replicate her dominant performance on her first season. Thankfully for her and Masu, she still made easy work of the challenge and jagged their first point without even breaking a sweat. Chappies and Dante faced off against Felix and Seamus and damn did they put up a fight. While Seamus was first to the ring, Chappies brutally tackled him before they all snuggled in a puddle and while their pants stayed on, I still ship them. Oh and then Dante made a break and scored a second point for Masu. But never forget the cuddle puddle. Tevin and Pinty battled Toni and Tejan to keep them in the game, which they did as Tevin darted out of the fray and scored the first point for Yontau. Meryl and Marian then played for the game against Tania and Shona and while they were confident, Tania and Shona put up a valiant fight, wrestling their rivals until they dragged them to the Masu pole and scored reward for their fellow post-merge returnees.

We followed Yontau back to camp where the tribe were shocked by how minimal their supplies were, while Thoriso was busy focusing on the fact their trees had symbols on them. Hopeful they would lead her to an idol. While Dino was just terrified about how little they had. Meanwhile at Masu, Dante was hoping to learn from his mistakes and keep all his options open and build relationships with everyone. The first apparently being with Chappies as the duo bonded over being strong challenge beasts and honestly, a little bit of fangirling. And since Chappies knows Steffi from outside the game, he was confident they would be a strong trio. Speaking of Steffi, she and Marian were gossiping about PK, Tevin and Toni all having matching tattoos and being close, and as such, decided they should get rid of PK ASAP. Which I assume means Marian is also in the alliance with Steffi, Chappies and Dante, whether she likes it or not. Toni and PK meanwhile pulled Tejan in and were ready to pull in Palesa as their fellow Season 6 player.

Over at Yontau Tania was trying to fight her instincts and stay calm, which meant she immediately approached Thoriso and Pinty to align. Then Killarney. Completely aware that she was sliding back into panicked Tania. Dino and Seamus meanwhile were bonding over how weird it was to be back, with Seamus opening up about how hard he was on himself after being booted first and how it has taken him a long time to heal. Back at camp Shona was suggesting they watch the sunset, though she cautioned they avoid smashing an unripe pineapple as they relaxed, in case it makes their stomachs sore. Which in turn made Pinty slip back into her old ways and get angry, before she went for a walk and calmed down, knowing she needs to keep it in check if she wants to win.

We returned back to Masu where Meryl, Marian and Steffi snuck away to lock in an alliance, with Shane and Dante pulled in with their pairs. And then Chappies became their arbitrary sixth person after Steffi pulled him in. Which made her nervous, given she didn’t want her loyalty outside of the game – since they know each other – to ruin how she plays. Meanwhile Dante was on the hunt for an island wife with PK, as Marian was thrilled to date Dante. We then learnt that she and PK briefly dated a decade ago and while he thinks everything is all good between them, she was more than ready to cut him and get her revenge for being sketchy to her. Which is the kind of drama I live for.

The next day the Masu six were left alone at camp, shocked by their luck to openly strategise against the other four and figure out how to dismantle their bonds and take complete control. Meanwhile Palesa, Toni and PK were down by the beach with Toni feeling nervous about their position in the game and unsure how they will survive should they lose the first challenge. That being said, PK is busy painting the target on his back and that is enough for her to feel a little at ease given he clearly would go first.

We returned back to Yonatu where Tevin was ready to make a name for himself and not get stuck into his perceived trio with Toni and PK. As such, he approached Seamus and quickly locked him in as a number.

Back at Masu Shane was feeling confident in his alliance with Marian, despite the fact they haven’t even spoken. She then pointed out a symbol on a tree next to camp, leaving him to dig around the roots to see if he could find anything, while she darted off to loop in Dante.

The tribes then received treemail directing them to select two people to go on a journey to the Outpost where they would have to negotiate for supplies. Which obviously made everyone super nervous and paranoid. After much deliberation, Yontau selected to send Seamus and Thoriso to go on their behalf while Masu opted for Shane and Steffi. The latter of whom being selected by drawing the short straw. Much to Toni and Palesa’s disappointment.

As the foursome arrived at the Outpost they learnt they would be able to select two supplies for each tribe, with Shane offering for them to go first in the hope they selected flint and he and Steffi could jag what they wanted. Sadly for them Seamus bluffed and immediately selected rice, leaving Masu to get lentils and pap, while Yontau opted for the flint as their second choice. Before being dismissed, they read another note announcing that the four of them would now have to vote for somebody back at camp to receive the Outpost’s idol, the catch being it was only valid for the first tribal council. And should it be a tie, the tied players would draw rocks. And should the owner of the idol win immunity, they would still attend tribal council and play it at the other tribe’s tribal council. Which is quite the power, TBH.

The couples tried to outsmart each other, with Masu willingly pointing out their weakest while Yontau wisely opted to keep things quiet. Despite the fact Thoriso would have liked to keep to give Steffi and Shane something to keep her options open with them moving forward, but Seamus wasn’t interested. Which begged the question, has he learned as much from his first experience as I thought? Steffi and Shane received a heroes welcome as they arrived back at camp with all the food, while Palesa wondered what else they won at the Outpost. While they were tragically honest about the idol vote, proving it is never good to do these things. Back at Yontau, however, everyone believed every word Thoriso and Seamus said, so maybe sometimes you can win.

That night at Masu, Chappies got up to his usual overnight fun and started digging for an idol before he was quickly joined by Steffi. Sadly for the duo, however, Dante woke up and saw them, quickly looping in Palesa. Which you know can only mean trouble. The next morning, Dante pulled the Season 6 crew aside to let them know about Chappies and keep the target on him, as everyone agreed they didn’t want to deal with all that paranoia. Though Toni did admit that if Chappies isn’t being paranoid, someone else probably would be instead. But she is happy to have a target on someone else’s back. Meanwhile at Yontau Tevin, Dino, Pinty and Seamus caught up to see what they would do should they go to tribal council and while nobody was willing to name a name – despite the obvious Tania – they all appeared to be a little frozen by going out early their first time and are trying to hold firm until something big happens.

Speaking of something big, the tribes met up with Nico for the first immunity challenge where we learnt Seamus and Thoriso were way smarter than their post merge counterparts, loading their votes on Tevin while the Masus voted for Tania. Who tragically lost the following rock draw, giving Tevin all the power at the upcoming tribal council whether they win immunity or not. But back to the challenge, where they would have to break through a reed wall, use a monkey fist to release puzzle pieces, build a ladder, unlock or unite other ladders and then maneuvre their way through and over obstacles to light a flame at a tower at the end of the course. 

Yontau got out to the earliest of leads, no doubt with the fire to guarantee one of them doesn’t go out pre-merge again (yet). After Pinty whipped through the knots, PK opted to unlock the ladders which only put them further behind. As Masu desperately tried to close the gap, Yontau slotted the final ladders in and lit their torch and secured themselves immunity. Guaranteeing one of the post-mergers would become a first boot. Just like Seamus in the Philippines.

Back at camp Yontau were living their best lives, with Tania more than happy to shamelessly celebrate the fact their rivals finally get to feel what it is like to truly be an outcast in the game. Seamus put his foot in his mouth again, pointing out that Masu tried to give their weakest player the idol and the strategy backfired anyway, before Phil and Shona stepped to say it was the other tribes perception and that they all love Tania and know she is a powerhouse. Proving to be far more adept than she is given credit for, Tania admitted that she knows she was likely going to be the first boot from their tribe, though is grateful nobody ever made her feel she would be. Which earned a lot of sympathy, and likely change some people’s minds. Assuming she is playing 5D chess like I’m implying. Tevin brought up the idol of it all, asking the tribe what they think he should do and while he appeared open to ideas, he is totally protecting PK, right?

We caught up with Masu where Shane was heartbroken to have lost immunity while Marian was frustrated that the tribe weren’t working together. More specifically, PK’s ego was the thing that got in the way of their victory. She and Meryl knew Tevin would likely be playing his idol for PK and Toni, leading to them joining up with Dante, PK, Toni and Tejan, with Toni and Dante floating getting rid of Chappies and splitting the vote on Shane. Which didn’t make Meryl and Marian feel comfortable, though they kinda felt like there was no other option.

As Dante, Marian and Meryl caught up with Steffi and Chappies to lock in the vote against Shane. Though it was very clear Dante was still ready to cut Chappies. Shane then caught up with Meryl and Steffi to loop then in on how sketchy he feels Dante is – since Shane has been watching him like a hawk – wanting to flip the vote on him instead. And while he assured them this would be the only thing he orchestrates, Meryl now felt he was a little too sketchy. Particularly as he continued to push for Dante. While poor Chappies admitted he was just trying to stay calm and hold firm.

We checked back in with Yontau were the tribe seemed to agree that Tevin should give his idol to Palesa, while Felix put his neck on the line to try and advocate for Dante. Which Tevin admitted was a good idea, given how loyal he is.

At tribal council Shane spoke about how difficult this season is, particularly since everyone is trying to rectify their mistakes from previous games. Shane then admitted that battle lines have been drawn since day two, while Toni wished she realised that had happened. She then spoke about focusing on Survivor 101 and sticking to their word, reminding them that flipping and lying so soon paints a target on your back. Steffi spoke about losing the challenge because they were fractured, while Tejan cautioned them not to give too much away, given they have an audience. Chappies reiterated that Tevin could throw a spanner in the works, while Meryl pointed out he has three Season 6 castaways he would clearly protect with the idol. While Toni and Marian awkwardly whispered before getting caught by Nico.

Nico then explained how the idol process would work, with Masu voting before Tevin would go and anonymously vote for who he would give immunity to. Oh and to help make his decision, he was able to ask his own questions of the tribe. He then opted for chaos, asking Steffi and Shane why they told the Yontau duo to vote for Tejan to get immunity. Which made everyone annoyed, asking why that was left out of their post-Outpost recap and why they decided he was on the bottom. Until Marian thankfully calmed them all down and reminded them that Tevin just wanted to create drama and as such, they all need to calm down.

With that the tribe voted before Tevin voted for the immunity and headed back to camp. Nico then collected the votes and announced that Palesa was immune before the votes rolled in between Shane and Chappies with Shane throwing out a single vote for Dante. Which ultimately saved himself from a tie and sent Chappies from the game as the first boot. With not even a single nude season to his name. Tragically.

Chappies was heartbroken as he arrived back at Loser Lodge, though admitted he was still happy to have gotten a second chance to play the game. I reminded him that I still loved him – despite the lack of nudity – and while he is the first boot, it happened because he came in with such a massive target on his back. And well, if it was good enough for Tina Wesson to go from first to worst, it should be good enough for him. Particularly knowing how she dominated on her third go. With that, he was well and truly perked back up and gladly toasted him success over a big bowl of Cheeseburger Chappies.

There is nothing I love more than turning a cheeseburger into another style of food and well these little babies are one of the best you can have. Yeah sure, these lean more towards the side of being a croquette, but who cares when they taste this good? Nobody.

Enjoy!

Cheeseburger Chappies
Serves: 2 dear friends.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
½ cup American Cheese, grated
4 dill pickles, finely chopped
1 tsbp ketchup
1 tbsp American mustard
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp garlic powder
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups flour
1-2 eggs, lightly whisked
2 cups panko breadcrumbs
olive oil for drizzlin’ or olive oil spray

Method
Pop the mince, cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard, onion and garlic powders in a large bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper and scrunch until well combined. Form the mixture into chips and place on a lined baking sheet. Cover and place in the fridge to set for an hour or so.

Preheat the oven to 200C.

Place the flour in a bowl, the eggs in another and the breadcrumbs in a third. Take the chips out of the fridge and working one at a time, dip in the flour, then the egg followed by the panko until well coated. Repeat the process until done.

Once all the chips are gorgeously covered, pop them back on a lined baking sheet, drizzle or spray with oil and transfer to the oven to bake for half an hour, or until golden and crisp on the outside.

Once cooked, served immediately with your fave burger condiments before devouring.


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Haylal Snack Peake

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor 24 castaways were dropped in the outback, far from the tropical islands we’ve grown accustomed to – thanks COVID! One by one they were felled as – yep, doing it – Phil, Janelle, Gavin, Benny, Mitch, Joey, Daini, Shannon, Georgia, Rachel and Simon headed home before the two tribes merged and formed the Fire tribe.

Instead of the Beauty tribe, which will always be a sore point to me.

Kez was the first victim of the new tribe before Chelsea was medevaced, leaving Baden to become the King of the Jury. He was quickly joined by Gerald, Laura, Emmett, Andrew, Dani, Wai and Cara, leaving Flick as the lone Brawn standing against George and Cara.

And by standing, I mean hunching painfully in a brutal final immunity challenge where the trio faced off for over five hours before Hayley took out victory and gave her the power to eliminate the final juror. Which obviously became Flick.

After a hard fought final tribal council where both George and Hayley clearly articulated their games, proving just how good they both were, the jury favoured Hayley’s more well rounded approach and awarded her the title of Sole Survivor. And, you know, the half mill.

As you can imagine, Hayley was buzzing as I sidled on to set to congratulate her, pulling me in for a massive hug. You see, Hayley and I are former colleagues and dear friends – you know how painful I can be, which is an asset to a researcher – so I was so excited to be there to share in her win.

Hayley dominated the game and made massive moves throughout the season, and while she was briefly voted out, she used that to her advantage, expertly adapting her play to make it to the end and rightfully take out the game. The only way I could truly do justice to such an epic, entertaining and at times chaotic run was gifting her a triumphant Haylal Snack Peake.

While I was late to the party when it came to the majesty of the HSP, I have well and truly made up for lost time when it came to the holy grail of food. The chips are crispy, the chicken is packing a punch, a little charred and oh so juicy that by the time you get to the garlicky sauce and gooey cheese, there is no denying this is made for winners.

Enjoy!

Haylal Snack Peake
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
1 cup Greek yoghurt
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp ground coriander
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp paprika
1 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp tsp onion powder
½ tsp black pepper
3 tbsp tomato paste
2 tsp salt
1 lemon, zested and juiced
3 tbsp olive oil
1kg chicken thighs, no skin, no bones (no jokes about me normally loving a bone)
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
2 cups grated cheddar
¼ cup smokey BBQ sauce
¼ cup garlic sauce
¼ cup sriracha
small handful flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Start by mixing up the yoghurt through olive oil together in a large bowl until well combined. Add the chicken and toss with your hands, making sure that every piece is sopping with the marinade. Cover and pop in the fridge for six hours. Overnight is ideal, but like you, I don’t have time for that so six will do, ok?

Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Grab a bunch of metal skewers and a baking dish that they can precariously balance either side on so they are elevated. I’m not the best at explaining, but it will make sense in a bit. Remove the chicken from the fridge and thread on to two parallel skewers, jamming the thighs close together so they look like baby kebab sticks (I obviously couldn’t be bothered to Google it).

Once they’re all on skewers, line the baking dish and balance the ends of the skewers on the sides of the dish so the chicken is elevated from the base. Pop the dish in the oven and bake for half an hour, or until brown and glorious. Remove from the oven, baste with the juices and return to the oven for twenty minutes. Remove from the oven again when it is charred, baste and leave to rest for five minutes.

While you work on the fries, stand the skewers upright and carve the chicken from them like the do at a kebab shop (side note: how hypnotic was watching that, drunk at 2am?) and leave to rest in their juices.

To assemble, pop your chips in a bowl, top with the cheese and follow with a generous helping of the chicken. Drizzle with the sauces, add a bit more cheese and a sprinkle of parsley to feel healthy.

Then devour like you haven’t had a decent meal in 48 days but are also thrilled to be victorious.


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Taco Bellsea Hackips

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Side, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor Brains and Brawns were offish no more, tragically not joining to form the Beauty tribe which would have just been the ultimate chef’s kiss. Emmett won immunity and his confidence expanded to new heights, leading to his super majority planning to target Hayley. Thankfully George grew tired of the status quo and decided that now would be the best time to work with the Brains to ensure Hayley plays her idol correctly. Speaking of idols, Kez found another one in front of George which immediately made her the target in his eyes. With that he told Hayley to play her idol for Laura and poor Kez was idolled out of the game, sneakily – and legally, apparently – passing her idol off to Flick on the way out the door.

Though I’m unsure if anyone actually picked up on that.

The shoulda been Beauty tribe awoke the next morning feeling relatively calm despite the epic tribal council the night before. That calmness was broken by George, who was thrilled about how everything went down perfectly and how he is orchestrating everything perfectly and that he should be the spy. V loudly. He and his number two Cara caught up over breakfast to come up with the next plan, identifying getting rid of another Brain as the priority. And to successfully continue to play the middle, they needed to bring Baden along for the ride to make things happen.

Speaking of Baden, he was happy with his standing in the tribe given he is close to George and while playing in the middle can oft be dangerous – and get you run over, right Jules? – it is keeping Baden safe. For now. Given the Brawn alliance want to take him out immediately after Hayley. Baden therefore wanted to keep a close eye on George, given his protection can only last for so long. And well, he can’t trust George’s plans don’t run much deeper and eventually leave him out in the cold.

Dani meanwhile was doing yoga with Chelsea and Flick by the billabong before Dani questioned whether Hayley was tipped off ahead of tribal council. Which she obviously was. Flick meanwhile feigned confidence in the fact it was just a lucky guess, but Dani just wasn’t ready to let it go. And became really fired up that she needed to fight in the immunity challenge, just to make sure one of the Brains didn’t jag it.

Speaking of the immunity challenge, the tribe caught up with my love Jonathan where the castaways really had a battle ahead of them. But you know, since he was offering up three immunity necklaces it was worth it. Oh and in addition to the immunity, the trio would be the only ones to cast a vote at the next tribal council. Which is huge. First they would barrel roll down a course in honour of FFGCSDT with the first eight moving to the next round where they have to cross a balance beam, untangling a rope and releasing a monkey fist to cross a wall, with the first five up and over moving on to a table maze with the first three to finish jagging immunity.

Hayley got out to an early lead with Emmett and Andrew nipping at her heels before Dani fell off hard in front of Gerald’s barrel. Ultimately Hayley was first across, with Emmett, Baden, Chelsea, Andrew, Laura, Dani and Cara joining her in the next round. Emmett was first through to the table maze, giving him a massive lead in the last stage before he was finally joined by Laura. Eventually Andrew and Dani joined him just as Emmett landed his second of three balls. Baden eventually made it to table maze and given nobody but Emmett was having any real success, it was still anybody’s game. Emmett ultimately snagged the first immunity and to put you out of your misery, he was quickly followed by Andrew and Dani. Giving Brawns a massive advantage at the upcoming tribal council if it is as it appears.

Back at camp George wasn’t worried about the upcoming tribal, given he is good with everyone that is immune. Hayley meanwhile, was terrified given two of them are out for her blood. Speaking of Dani and Emmett, they caught up by the well to quickly lock in the vote for Hayley before Emmett suggested that maybe Baden is a better option, given Cara and George are tight with him and he may be able to swing them back to the OG Brains. Dani admitted that ultimately she doesn’t really care who goes out of the Brains, given she just wants the Brawns to do well. 

And now Dani is more focused on getting a lid on the snitches.

The Brains meanwhile were busy catching up by the billabong, with Andrew feeling helpless given his vote kind of just means nothing. The group admitted that Hayley is pretty much screwed, with her approaching George to see if she can make something work. He obviously told her there is no hope swaying Dani, so instead she made the big play, approaching Dani and straight up outing George as the double agent in the hope of uniting the tribe against him instead.

Despite the fact Dani has been burnt by Hayley and she has been holding a massive grudge, Hayley knew exactly what to say to get through to Dani. Playing into her intelligence, before outing George and Cara and then doubling down on the fact she has been very open about her game the entire time and won’t just stick with tribal lines. And you know, wants the winner of the season to have played a big, risky game like the one Dani has been playing. This was enough to woo Dani, who was happy to work with her and use her as a spy moving forward before Emmett joined and immediately pitched the same thing, knowing that Hayley would feel like she owes them her life should she stay.

Hayley left them to chat and while Emmett was 100% with keeping Hayley, that made Dani nervous about following through with it given she can clearly win people over very quickly. And leaving that in the game is dangerous for everyone.

At tribal council Emmett was still trying to play the role of David and was back to coming off as more arrogant than charming. Dani too was full of confidence, while Andrew was fully just going with the flow given he knows his vote pretty much means nothing. Baden was pretty nervous, given he is one of the four targets for the majority duo, in the trio – confusing no? George was glad to be in the majority, while Hayley was nervous about navigating the vote ahead given she can’t even throw a vote on someone else as a hail Mary to save herself. While Baden was just feeling hopeless, Hayley admitted that she was more than happy to beg and had approached Emmett and Dani. The question being whether it hurt or hindered her case.

Jonathan then dropped another bomb on the group, explaining that while the trio are the only ones with the chance of voting, only one of them actually would. The trio would now compete in a firemaking challenge with the winner going on to cast the sole vote and while Emmett was confident, Andrew is a straight up survivalist and as such, the Brains were full of hope. And Dani appeared to just focus on being a smartass given nobody even considered her taking it out. 

And. I. Live.

With that, the trio got to work with the firemaking challenge and well, the confident look on the faces of the Brains appeared to be misplaced. While Andrew quickly up the base of his fire, he immediately broke his flint. While Emmett and Dani calmly powered on, Emmett lit all of his kindling in a massive flame … which quickly went out. Andrew frantically struck his flint as Dani quietly got a spark and instead of taking the slow and steady approach, loaded up everything on the flame in the hope the massive flame would last long enough to burn through the rope. Which it did, shocking everyone, including herself.

After warning Jonathan that some things in the tribe were heading in a way she didn’t like, this vote was about nipping things in the bud and as such, she was thrilled to have all the power. She then quickly voted, Jonathan grabbed the urn and the tribe were gagged to learn that Baden was the one voted out of the game. However all was not as it seemed, as Baden arrived at a table announcing that he isn’t actually out out of the game and instead he is to head off to a place called Redemption Rock – the love child of redemption island and pride rock, I assume – to await a chance to return to the competition.

We followed Baden over to Redemption Rock where he was gagged to find a bunch of meager supplies, which he quickly put to use making a fire as a kangaroo watched on menacingly.

Menacingly because of night vision, but whatevs.

The next morning Baden was still processing the massive chain of events that led to his boot before taking in his surroundings, which turned out to be a stunning, massive gorge. He made himself at home, perfecting camp before working though his plans for when he returns to the game. Because you best believe he is fired up to return and cause as much damage as humanly possible.

Speaking of fire, Andrew was waking up the tribe as he tended to theirs, no doubt trying to prove his worth as a survival expert after being schooled by Dani the night before. Emmett reminded us that we’ve been sleeping on Dani’s mad skills and was grateful that despite the twist, they still managed to get rid of a Brain. 

Sadly, a Brawn had also left the game as we learnt that Chelsea was taken away from tribal council by a medic and the tribe were worried about if/when she will return to camp. But I’m going to jump forward a little bit, say 24 hours, and let you know that poor Chelsea was in such a state that she had to be medevaced from the game officially.

I’ve known Chels for years and years, meeting on the MMA circuit before I was banned from the sport for illegal moves. Despite being shamed out of the community, Chelsea stood by me and we became the firmest of friends and as such, when she was down and out – literally – I knew I had to repay the favour and nurse her back to health with my copycat Taco Bellsea Hackips.

While these would have been the perfect accompaniment to Kez’s dish, I would argue they’re still pretty delightful as a solo artist. Crispy chips, heavily spiced with a whack of flavour? I mean, you can’t argue against that.

Enjoy!

Taco Bellsea Hackips
Serves: 2 dear fighter-friends.

Ingredients
1 batch Jud Beerza Battered Fries
2 ½ tbsp paprika
2 tsp salt
¾ tsp garlic powder
¾ tsp onion powder
¾ tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp black pepper
Nachoey Cheese McCann, to serve

Method
Ok, you ready for this? Cook the fries per Jud’s recipe.

Combine the paprika, salt, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne pepper and black pepper in a bowl. Toss the fries in the spices.

Serve and devour, piping hot with some Nachoey Cheese McCann.


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Chicktina Big McDonald

America's Next Top Model, America's Next Top Model 24, Burgers, Main, Snack, Street Food, TV Recap

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra and Co celebrated pride. Well, except for Liberty who was struggling with the culture shock since she is used to the bias against gay people in her community. Christina continued to create drama and Brendi K was overwhelmed by the thought of representing her community. The models posed with Drag Race royalty – Manila, Katya and Valentina – where Khrystyana slayed, and Kyla and Liberty bombed, with Liberty ultimately sent back to her small-minded community. Hopeful to change minds.

The models returned from panel where Erin contemplated slipping Khrystyana a little something to bring her back in line with the other girls. JK, Kimora – Erin is a saint and would never do that. Kyla reflected on the humbling experience of landing in the bottom two before she accidentally bumped into Brendi K, setting off some mild rage before stewing in her sadness. Thankfully Christina was on hand to give some solid advice about Brendi maybe just stopping being poor and not being offended by the judges critiques.

It is hella meaningful, since Christina is so good with human interaction.

Erin, Rio and Jeana took time out by the spa to talk about their lives, their choices and how people view their modelling dreams. Erin then broke down about her ex, who she left while he was dying from cancer … WHICH IS WAY TOO HEAVY FOR A MODELLING SHOW.

Tyra Mail arrived the day announcing that this week, everyone would be getting manicures. Thankfully Tyra arrived to offer some clarity … no, nope, no clarity. She just wanted a manicure and to spill some tea. Once again Christina proved adept with human interaction, sharing that she was trying to open up to the girls and form bonds. Then she shared a sad story about her dad’s heart stopping, being put into an induced coma and the fact he should have died. To reiterate, TOO DAMN HEAVY FOR TOP MODEL. Give me a booty tooch while smizing.

Ty-Ty continued to act as Oprah with Kyla sharing her nerves about being in the bottom, Sandra and Erin spoke about never wanting to be a part of a nude shoot and Khrystyana spoke about being molested. Once again and I know I sound like a broken record, THIS IS WAY TOO HEAVY FOR A MODELLING SHOW. Won’t someone bring Tiffany back to get yelled at? Thankfully for Sandra and Erin, Tyra wasn’t going to make them face their fears instead this week’s raw shoot is actually just make-up free … while being cradled by the hands of the other models.

Christina seemed to be in her head throughout the shoot, Brendi K felt the process was cathartic, Kyla put the judge’s’ advice into action and Khrystyana’s soul was captured by Tyra. While we didn’t really see much, it seemed like literally everyone nailed it.

The next day, the models met Drew and Director X to film videos standing up to bullying with the winning one forming part of a National Crime Prevention Council campaign. The models split into three groups, with Brendi K electing to work with sworn nemesis Christina and Shanice as the referee, while Erin, Rio and Jeana, and Khrystyana, Kyla and Sandra were the less dysfunctional groups. Stacey McKenzie arrived to provide advice to the girls while filming the commercial, with Christina wasting no time to bringing up her experiences being bullied in the house. Obviously without naming names.

We were then treated to a screaming montage while the models filmed their videos, and once again, it was way too emotional to actually throw any shade at. All the videos were powerful, well maybe not Christina, Shanice and Brendi K’s, with Kyla, Sandra and Khrystyana’s ultimately taking out victory.

At panel, Kyla received universal praise, as did Sandra, and Shanice … and Brendi K. Khrystyana shared her experience being molested, and explained it fed her release in the photo which was perfection. Hold up, literally everyone was beautiful and their photos received universal praise. Well except for Erin, whose face was completely covered by her hair and Christina who once again argued with the judges, making Tyra question whether she is in the competition to learn or get attention. For the first time in Top Model history, Brendi K, Jeana, Khrystyana, Kyla, Rio, Sandra and Shanice tied for best photo, really putting salt on the wounds of Erin and Christina who really had it driven home to them, that their photos were balls. Despite arguably having the worst photo – wait no, Tyra said it was definitely worse – Erin was saved, while Christina was eliminated because of her bad attitude and the fact she isn’t willing to learn.


Make no mistake, Christina continued to rail against the judges and her fellow models by the time she met up with me backstage, and despite being a lifelong friend … all I could do to shut her up, was smack a Chicktina Big McDonald into her gob.

 

 

The Chicken Big Mac has been a hallowed thing popping up on Aussie Maccas menus for the last year or so. Essentially, it is our McRib. And this little number is as close as you can get, when they aren’t trying to lure your into stores. Crispy chicken, the tang of mac sauce, pickles, cheese and iceberg? I damn near creamed my shorts just thinking about it.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chicktina Big McDonald
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g chicken mince
1 egg
1 cup water
1 cup plain flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp onion powder
¼ tsp ground black pepper
½ cup mayonnaise
2 tbsp French dressing
1 tbsp sweet gherkin relish
1 onion, finely minced – ½ for the sauce, ½ for the burgers
1 tsp white vinegar
1 tsp sugar
½ tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp garlic powder, plus a pinch for the patties
8 slices American cheese
pickles, thinly sliced
4 sesame seed Kirsten Bunst
iceberg lettuce, chopped

Method
Place the chicken mince in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Divide into eight patties and place in the fridge to set for at least an hour. While you’re refrigerating things, combine the sauce ingredients and refrigerate until needed.

Beat the egg and stir with the water in a large, shallow bowl and combine the flour, salt, pepper, onion powder and a pinch of garlic powder in a second bowl.

Grab the patties out of the fridge and coat each with the flour mixture, remove and dredge each filet in the egg mixture, before coating in the flour mix again. Place in a freezer bag and freeze for an hour.

Remove and repeat the flour and dredging process again and leave to rest for about ten minutes.

Heat a generous lug of oil in a large frying pan, I mean crazy generous but not enough to technically consider it shallow frying as you know it scares me. Cook the patties for about 5-6 minutes per side, or until light brown and crispy.

Combine the mayo, French dressing, sweet gherkin relish, half the onion, white vinegar, sugar, smoked paprika and garlic powder in a small bowl with a good season, stir and place in the fridge to chill.

To assemble, cut each bun in three and place the base on a plate. Smear generously with special sauce, top with a pinch of the reserved chopped onion, add the lettuce, top with a slice of cheese and a chicken pattie, followed by the middle of the bun. Then smear with more sauce, top with onion, lettuce, a few pickle slices, cheese – because I believe it needs two slices – a chicken pattie and the top of the bun.

Smoosh as thinly as you can and devour, greedily.

 

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Cheece Taylor Burger

Main, Party Food, Snack, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, Taylor continued to get jiggy wit Figgy while the Gen Xers continued to lose immunity challenges. While the majority tried to get rid of Jessica – I assume to help with her eye probs – Ken wanted to save her, so pulled her aside to warn her. She obviously then ran to the majority, pissing dear Kengel off. Despite her misstep, David saved her and idoled out Lucy.

Who? Exactly. Shhh.

The olds arrived back at camp where David was super paranoid for the big move, he theatrically made. While Jessica got her head back in the game and worked to win Ken back over, telling him about the mysterious/ominous legacy advantage, promising it to him in the process.

After last night’s excitement, the olds awoke the next day and immediately commenced a good old fashioned idol search party where once again, David was lucky enough to find the idol. Though to be honest, now that they are hidden in plain site with a tribe symbol on them, once you’ve found one, others should be easy.

Anyway, the tribes then reconvened for a reward challenge – the millennials of course asked who, when Jeff said Lucy was voted out at tribal – where they … wait a minute, this is a damn switch up!

Waiting to recreate the success of Second Chances, Jiffy Pop opted to switch them into three tribes, royally pissing off Michaela who was swap-fucked – let’s be honest, the only person I want to be swap fucked by, is Ken – and ended up with Hannah, Will, Jay, Bret and Sunday as the new Ikabula tribe starting from scratch. Sadly she didn’t flip him off, though positively we can do away with most of the shitty generational references.

We arrived at Ikabula where Bret immediately shot my hope in the foot – does that even make sense, throwing those phrases together … am I Andrew? – talking about gen x, followed by Jay throwing in the requisite millennial reference.

Over on Kengel’s island, Figgy and Taylor were thrilled to still be together, while poor Adam tried to pretend to enjoy the role of third wheel before Kengel took him under his wing, immediately gave Adam a bit of cred and hopefully gave Ken some power.

Well, outside of his powerful beauty.

Meanwhile at Vanua, the tribe were connecting over sunrise except for Michelle who was feeling down about being the only tribe with a millennial disadvantage. Her other youngen Zeke, however, was in his element, connecting with Chris over being Oklahoma boys.

For keeping score, this is the second gay male that Chris has aligned with making him the greatest ally to the LGBT community in the game.

Outside of Kengel’s tight underwear, obvs.

Back with Ikabula, Queen Michaela continued to dominate the confessional game and life in general, building fire for the tribe and sharing her story of determination. Can you feel that? Yep, it is the #WinnersEdit.

And if I’m wrong, I obviously mean winner of my heart edit.

Finally Jiffy returned for the first threeway of the season, where the tribes all had to go down for some buoys, then try and score by tossing their balls into some holes. Despite Sunday getting them off to a horrible start, Ikabula took out the victory thanks to – almost single handedly – Michaela Jordan, with sweet Kengel also getting new Takali over the line.

But given CeCe’s dismal performance – again – and David’s laughable display, which lead to Zeke wondering if he was trying to throw the challenge, was there ever going to be a different outcome?

Back at camp, new Vanua got to scrambling after their manure performance. The Gen Xers hoped to take advantage of their numbers advantage, while Chris was hoping to turn it on CeCe and hopefully make the tribe stronger, pulling in David, Zeke and Michelle. Michelle was still scared though, so tried to work on CeCe … who gave absolutely zero fucks. CeCe then told David that Michelle was trying to get him out, who then considering playing his idol on CeCe to save her.

So yep, the editors succeeded in confusing me by the time they arrived at tribal. Thankfully he was a lot more straightforward than that, with yet another minority female getting the boot as CeCe went to loser lodge for some culinary comfort. I mean sure, she had almost single handedly lost two immunity challenges and deserved the boot … but the fear that Michaela will be the next one voted out due to unintentional racism, simply for being a woman of colour is too much.

Thankfully she is a boss.

So obviously I have been friends with CeCe for years, meeting at the Debbie Allen Dance Academy where I taught her daughter. While we initially clashed, due to her role as stage mom and mine as the vicious teacher with a cold heart, she grew to respect my style and a bond formed. After being booted from the one swap tribe with a Gen X majority, CeCe was pretty upset. However she saw me and a plate of my famed Cheece Taylor Burgers – which we’d eat after dance class in front of her famished daughter as part of my out-of-academy discipline lesson – her mood quickly turned around.

 

cheece-taylor-burger-1

 

So yes, this is a blatant copy of a McDonald’s cheeseburger but they are insanely delicious – I’m going for a sponsorship gig with Mindy Kaling – so why not?

(If In’n’Out wanted me as a spokesperson though, Maccas would be as dead to me as someone that crossed Abi-Maria).

But honestly, between the cheese, onion, fresh patties, soft bun, ketchup, mustard and most importantly, pickles – how could you really go wrong? Enjoy.

 

cheece-taylor-burger-2

 

Cheece Taylor Burger
Serves: 6.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
¼ tsp onion powder
¼ tsp garlic powder
6 hamburger buns
6 slices American cheese
dill pickles, sliced
1 finely diced onion, soaked in ice cold water and drained just before serving
mustard
ketchup

Method
Place the meat in a large bowl and combine with the salt, pepper and onion and garlic powders. Divide the mixture into six, form into thin patties, wrap in cling and place in the freezer for two hours.

Heat a large frying pan over high heat, remove the patties from the freezer and allow to come to temperature for a couple of minutes. While that is happening, split the rolls and fry the open sides for about twenty seconds, or until browned.

Now this is where is gets specific and it is important to follow this, ok? Place the patties in the pan, season generously and allow to fry for thirty seconds. Press down heavily on the patties for a couple of seconds, before immediately flipping and cooking for a further thirty seconds.

Remove to the bottom of the fried buns and top each with a slice of cheese, top with some ketchup, mustard, a few slices of pickle and some onion.

Close and devour.

 

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