Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, the remaining queens performed a VH1 Divas live to RuPaul where Shangel(l)a slayed, Kennedy and Thorgy missed the mark and Milk broke down over only being classed as safe. Once again Ben won the challenge, this time with Shangie who skipped her way to victory and ultimately sent Thorgy Thor from the competition. Ugh, gross.
Back in the werkroom the queens were disgusted and/or aroused to see Thorgy’s farewell boner. While Milk came to her fellow clown queen’s defense, Kennedy was well pissed and felt it was inappropriate. Before wigs started flying, the queens sat down to discover that BenDeLa would have also sent Thorgy home. She then danced around her logic, pissing Shangie off for dancing around. Thankfully that discussion kicked off more drama between Shangie and Milk, the latter of which would have sent home Kennedy … needlessly angering a killer lip syncer, which is kind of a stupid move, no?
The next day the queens returned to the werkroom where Ben and ChiChi hugged in a way that misted my basements, before Ru arrived to announce this week’s challenge. The queens would be paired up to improv their way through hit reality show The Bitchleor. Aja and Kennedy were paired up as the needy and party girls, Trixie was cast as the fake bitch with Milk tagging along as a stalker. DeLa got to play a cougar opposite BeBe’s virgin, with Shangie and ChiChi cast as a polyamorous couple.
BeBe was confident in her African Princess character, while DeLa was kind of nervous about the entire thing. Aja planned to channel Farrah Moan, which made Kennedy nervous as she wasn’t sure Aja knew what the word needy meant. My girl Milk was living for her stalker role, as that is how both she and I secured our mans. And well, ChiChi was on a street of struggle and started to go back to her insecure season 8 roots.
Ru and Michelle arrived on set with the bitchelor himself, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, to meet the queens. BeBe was far funnier than BenDeLa expected, BenDeLa was the creepiest cougar to ever grace the planet, Trixie was perfection, Milk was intense, Aja truly was Farrah, Kennedy brought literally all, of, IT, Shangie was a sexual dominatrix and ChiChi seemed to be missing the point of her character. Or maybe that was her character?
On the two-on-one dates, DeLa continued to dominate by deepthroating bananas and feed Jeffrey like Alicia Silverstone does her kids. BeBe on the flipside, was kind of just there. Milk continued to be super intense, while Trixie was super hilarious … whenever she had a chance to talk, given Milk just wouldn’t stop. Farrah and Kennedy got Jeffrey shirtless – praise – before Kennedy pulled liquor out of her boobs and undies, and Kennedy continued to steal the show while Aja tried desperately to stop herself from laughing. Miss Milk needs to hope she isn’t in the bottom, otherwise Kennedy is going to take her out because she CAN NOT lose. Shangie and Cheech wrapped up the dates with a spa bath where Shangie floated and ChiChi was lucky not to drown.
This week’s runway was inspired by Roxxxy Andrews – no, it wasn’t a waiting for the bus runway … it was a wig reveal runway! ChiChi was feeling out of her depth as she prepared, knowing she bombed the challenge. Trixie was desperate to get her first win and finally have a star moment on the show. Ben, Milk and Shangela started to bring the shade, discussing who deserved to be in the bottom three. Ben thought Aja, ChiChi and BeBe would round out the bottom, while Shangie told them she agreed on two and thought that Aja or Milk would be the third. To Milk, who was still wearing Jinx’s delusion and felt she would win. I love you, but safe maybe, but not the top girl.
On the other side of the room, Kennedy, Chi Chi and Aja were talking about the previous days drama with Kennedy talking about how rude Milk was. Which yeah, ain’t looking good for the Big and Milky.
Kennedy, Trixie and Aja owned the runway, Milk went back to her clown roots, ChiChi was a beautiful Cher, DeLa channeled Michelle and Shangela followed the journey of the ultimate cinema snack, popcorn. Shangela and BeBe ended up being safe before DeLa – once again – received universal praise, Trixie finally got glowing reviews, despite being smothered by Milk. Speaking of whom, got praise for her look despite the cup holding the hair being visible and was torn to shreds for her domineering performance. Aja’s killer look was beloved, before being read for not understanding the character … though she didn’t know the definition of needy, so I will let it slide. Kennedy received far and away the best praise, rightfully so, before ChiChi was praised for her runway performance, despite her horrid performance.
Once again BenDeLa won the challenge, this time with the on-point Kennedy, while Milk, Aja and Chi x 2 landed in the bottom. Backstage Trixie was disappointed to not get a win, though decided to avoid crying about it. Milk on the other hand, was once again in tears to land in the bottom three before Kennedy announced that she would not require one on ones to decide who to eliminate. Ben praised Aja’s performance in the competition thus far, ChiChi was questioning whether she was even an All Star and Milk was heartbroken but felt DeLa would reward her track record, while the other girls spoke about how she ruined Trixie’s shot at getting her first win. She then finished her conversation with Ben by saying the judges wanted her here, which came off a bit threatening.
Both DeLa and Kennedy played the lip sync seriously, though once Kennedy removed her coat to reveal a sequined gown … before yet another wig reveal, there was no question Kennedy was winning the lip sync. And much to only Milk’s shock, that meant my dear friend Milk found herself out of the competition.
While she was heartbroken to have found herself out of the competition, Milk was thrilled to see her best friend waiting in the wings to provide her culinary comfort. And begged me to stay with her as long as needed … thus last year’s masterful date to throw you off the scent of her casting. Given she had soured, I thought it best to steer clear of a Choccy Milk, and instead made her some sweet Milk Duds to dull her post-boot pain.
Super sweet with an awesome mouth feel – aka texture – this is the Milk I know and love. And I’m going to keep drowning myself in delusion and pretend the drama was all a ploy to stay longer, since it work for G-G-Gia in her OG season.
1 ½ cup raw caster sugar
pinch of kosher salt
¾ cup double cream
200g milk chocolate
Combine the sugar and salt with half a cup of water in a saucepan over medium heat, whisking until dissolved. Once boiling, stop stirring – well if you can, you know I can’t – reduce heat and simmer until it is a dark honey colour. About five to ten minutes. Add the cream while whisking – be careful, it will spit – and continue cooking until it comes to 130°C on a candy thermometer. Pour into a lined slice dish, cover and allow to set for a couple of hours.
Once set, cut the caramel into candy sized pieces … completely ignoring the shape a milk dud should be. Melt the chocolate in a microwave, dip the caramels in the chocolate and place on a lined baking sheet to set.
Devour, through your non-safe tears.
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