I am so glad that I’m finally allowed to talk about the upcoming, extremely triumphant – and not to mention sickening – return of RuPaul’s Drag Race in just three weeks!
Off topic, but can we all just take a moment to marvel at my ability to actually keep a secret about the change of night and network? I’m amazing, no?
Anyway I thought it best to prepare for its return by making up for some grievous oversights on my cyber dance card and catching up with some legends of Drag Race … and there is no one more legendary than our dear RuPaul Mama-Ru-mother-fucking Charles.
*Tongue pop loud enough to burst an eardrum*
It is quite shocking that I haven’t documented one of my numerous dates with Ru over the past few years but I guess she is one of the few people that is as busy as me, so it was always hard to take enough time out of our schedules to whip up something adequate enough for her majesty and you – I guess – my adoring public.
I mean, she is the Emmy winning host of the (very close) second-best reality show of all time. And you don’t want to fuck it up!
You may not know this but I’ve been a dear friend of Ru’s since the early nineties when I sang back-up vocals on Supermodel. Our friendship was instantaneous and I quickly became her number one and endeavoured to ride her coattails to fame and fortune.
I know what you’re thinking – yes, I was Michelle before Michelle was Michelle.
Even a physical altercation with Elts while they recorded a duet in ‘94 wasn’t enough to end our friendship. Sadly, I was deported – again – from the US and our friendship had to become more long distance, meaning we couldn’t spend as much time together as we liked.
Fun fact: I introduced Ru and Georges when Ru once came to visit me.
After such a stunning season with All Stars 2 – despite the Alaska meltdown in the finale tarnishing her victory and making me ache for Katya’s triumph even more – thanks in no small part to my culinary commiserations, Ru was extremely eager to have me back on set to help dull the pain of the new sashaying queens.
Ru knew that the only thing she could do to repay my generosity – outside of gifting me her Emmy – was to join me for a pre-party as I countdown to the premiere. Plus, she can not say no to an Almond Crussant.
Like Ru, these babies are super sweet, entirely delightful … and packed full of nuts. As hidden as they may be.
200g butter, softened
100g icing sugar, plus extra to serve
⅓ cup flour
2 cups almond meal
2 tsps almond extract
8 croissants, store bought would do … I guess
⅓ cup flaked almonds
Preheat the oven to 180°C.
Combine the butter, icing sugar, flour, almond meal and essence in a food processor and blitz until thoroughly combined.
Split the croissants, generously smear the bases with ⅔ of the almond paste and replace the top of the croissants.
Smear with the remaining paste, scatter with flaked almonds and bake for 10 minutes, or until golden and glorious.
Dust with icing sugar and devour.