Brie, Fig and Graham Nortoastie

RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1

As you know, I was critical in hand picking the judges for UK’s first transplant season of Drag Race and as such, opted to go with someone that I’ve had hands on experience with, in the form of Graham Norton.

Giving Ru a British version of me and someone that I’ve given myself.

I first met Gray on the set of the Ab Fab ‘Gay’ episode and, as a social climber from wayback, I scaled him like a mountain and quickly got myself swept up in his entourage. And eventually, thankfully, his heart.

While the relationship became a bit of a fizzer after I caused a scene on the set of Another Gay Movie – I thought I was being helpful, in my defence – Graham, the kind hearted soul that he is, knew that while our relationship couldn’t continue, our friendship would always be an important part of his life.

Like Alan, Graham is positively hyped for the world to finally see what the UK queens have to offer.

Though to be fair, I think he was also hyped to see I was serving up his favourite Brie, Fig and Graham Nortoastie for our gossip.

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A little tart, a little salty and positively oozing with cheesy goodness, this toastie has it all. And is more than enough to keep you occupied while you await the premiere.

Enjoy!

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Brie, Fig and Graham Nortoastie
Serves: 2.

Ingredients
4 slices bread
¼ cup butter, softened
2 tbsp fig jam
1 tsp Dijon mustard
200g brie, sliced as best you can
4 slices ham off the bone, yeowww

Method
Heat a skillet or griddle pan over medium heat.

Lay the bread out on a chopping board, butter and smear half with jam and the other half with Dijon mustard.

Top two slices with brie and ham and close the sandwich and butter the top. Transfer the sandwich, buttered side down, into the skillet. Butter the top exposed slice of bread while you fry the sandwich until darkly golden and crisp. Flip the sandwich and cook for a further couple of minutes.

Remove from heat, slice and devour immediately, being cautious of the molten cheese that could burn off your lips.

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Alan Carrbonara alla Saliccia

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 1

With Ru and Michelle venturing across the pond for a UK version of Drag Race – no doubt to find out if anyone can lip sync better than Charlie Hides – they’re packing me up and taking me over to the mother country. And reuniting me with my dear friend Alan Carr, who has found his way onto the judging panel.

I’ve known Al for years, after meeting on the Chorlton-cum-Hardy comedy circuit. While I found the name of the suburb to be nothing more than false advertising – except for this one time down the frog and toad at the rub-a-dub-dub, getting a rub-a-tug-tug – I was grateful to find a kindred spirit in the form of Alan. High energy and a little too much, Alan and I became the fastest of friends despite being so similar.

When Ru and Mish were looking to transplant the series, they personally tasked me with finding the right people to join them on the judges panel – after I turned them down – I knew that Al would be absolutely perfect for the role.

He was thrilled to drop by and help me celebrate the imminent arrival of the Brits and agreed that this season is going to be fire. Particularly with an icon like Divina de Campo in the cast. But I’m saying too much, so instead get thee to a kitchen and whip yourself up some Alan Carrbonara alla Saliccia.

 

 

This Jamie Oliver number is one of my favourite meals, despite Jamie’s blatant false advertising. I mean, when have you ever seen him naked? Thankfully this rich salty carb is packed full of so much sausage it makes me willing to forgive him.

Enjoy!

 

 

Alan Carrbonara alla Saliccia
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
320g dried linguine, cooked to packet instructions
olive oil
4 Italian sausages
200g pancetta, diced
salt and pepper, to taste
4 egg yolks
100ml double cream
½ cup parmesan cheese, freshly grated … plus extra to serve. Emphasis on extra.
1 lemon,  zested
¼ cup flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped

Method
Get a pot of water on the boil and cook the pasta as per packet instructions.

Meanwhile heat a lug of oil in a large skillet over medium heat and squeeze small meatballs worth of sausage filling into the pan, and cook for five minutes or so. Add the pancetta and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until crisp.

Whisk the egg yolk, double cream, parmesan, lemon zest and parsley together in a jug.

When you’re ready to bring everything together, drain the pasta, reserving a cup’s worth of the glorious cooking water. Return the pasta to the pot and toss with the eggy mixture. Add a couple of tablespoons of water and stir until well combined. Add the meatballs and pancetta and give another good stir.

Serve immediately with a generous mound of parmesan on top. And devour.

 

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Rice Chripsy Swans

Dessert, Party Food, Snack, Sweets

After catching up with a post house arrest Richie Hatch, I got to reminiscing about my time locked away in a house with my dear friend Chrissie Swan on this little show known as Big Brother.

Now I don’t want to bore you with the time-travel specifics, but I lost (hopefully a different timeline’s) 2018’s Australian Survivor and humiliated by my loss, decided to go back in time to 2003 and win Big Brother. Sadly my bullying wasn’t a winning formula for a publically voted show, so I decided to pick a fight with Chrissie – with whom I had fallen madly in friend-love with – to make her the triumphant hero to my villain.

To confuse you even further with the timeline, this wasn’t actually my first time connecting with Chrissie. You see, we shared some extremely witty banter on Twitter in 2008-9 and I decided that she we were the dearest of friends.

My proof being that she loved an ode I wrote to Dolly’s hit 9 to 5 AND tried to score me tickets to a tapping to The Circle featuring queen Nigella Lawson because I spammed her about my Nige passion.

That reminds me, I really need to tell you about the time I got drunk and charmed my way into a taping of The View.

Anyway, her kindness is what chose me to go back to 2003 in the pursuit of reality TV glory and why I chose to fall on my sword to confirm her status as a national treasure. And thankfully, we’ve been the best of friends ever since.

Given Chris is hella busy, we haven’t been able to catch-up as often as we’d like in recent years, so it was such a tweettreat to take the time to reconnect and devour a big ol’ batch of my Rice Chrispy Swans.

 

 

Like Chris, these babies are insanely sweet and completely (snap, crackle and) pop. I mean, sure they are unhealthy and super easy … but don’t let that take away from their majesty.

Enjoy!

 

 

Rice Chripsy Swans
Serves: 2, without judgement.

Ingredients
200g white marshmallows, like Megan Marshmallys, for instance
3 tbsp unsalted butter
pinch of salt
4 cups rice bubbles

Method
Place the marshmallows and butter in a large saucepan over low heat and stir until the marshmallows have melted. Once they are completely liquified, add a pinch of salt and fold through the rice bubbles.

When completely combined, press the mixture into a lined 30 x 20cm baking sheet and chill for an hour or two.

Once set, remove from the pan, slice into bars and devour.

 

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Little Brother

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

That’s what my dear, divine Chrissie Swan refers to me as – her little brother. It isn’t some awkward attempt to reference her big break, on Big Brother.

That’s not our style, right?

In any event, while Australia fell in love with Reggie, season 3 belonged – in my heart – to Chris. Which is odd because future me actually travelled back in time to compete on the show against her as Ben (I lose next year’s Australian Survivor and don’t take it gracefully), which is ironic because her beat-down of me and my bullying is what won me over.

Despite the sketchy timeline of our friendship, she has agreed to make a return to the sunshine state to reconnect. What do I make for my dear, sweet friend?

Image source: Channel Ten.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.