Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Trinity and Eureka’s tension continued whilst the queens created OG fairytale princesses, now with sidekicks, where Trinity slayed the competition. True to her Princess name, Aja was a complete disaster … though not as bad as my girl Kimora Blac who became the second queen to sashay away from the competition.
The queens returned to the werk room where they checked in to see how Aja was doing, after being read for filth by the judges despite seeing herself as a superstar. Given that we are watching this in HD, I am erring on the side of the judges … sorry Aja!
Shea then congratulated Trinity on snatching the crown from Valentina, setting of a shade-storm from Aja – and briefly Alexis – about Valentina not deserving to be in the top three last week and that she is simply the judges’ pet.
The next morning they returned to the werk room where Cynthia acknowledged that third runways are not her thing – if season 8’s shorts are anything to go by, gurl right. Ru sadly entered before we could cut to the hideous shorts to set this week’s challenge, where the queens would be broken up into two teams to host rival breakfast news programs.
Trinity as last week’s champ and Aja, as the chump, were made captains, with Aja selecting her current nemesis Valentina, as well as Shea Coulee, Sasha Velour, Alexis Michelle and Farrah Moan to help host Good Morning Bitches.
Team Trinity got to host Not on Today, which is obviously the superior title.
As the last person selected, Nina was feeling pretty hurt … but we didn’t have time to dwell on that as Eureka stepped in to talk over everyone and create some drama. Mama. Thankfully I was just as easily distracted by Charlie and Cynthia reporting on a Justin Bieber/Maggie Smith sextape, which I truly would pay to see. Sadly though Cynthia hasn’t improved much since her time working at RuCo’s Empire, though that could have something to do with Charlie constantly giving her notes and made her feel like her character – who I assume was Charo’s younger sister – was being stifled.
We finally checked in on the production of Good Morning Bitches, which is clearly not as shady as Not on Today, since they are already filming the damn thing with Ross Mathews. Alexis and Farrah kicked off the with a foot fetishist’s dream before Aja and Valentina joined forces to give a lacklustre entertaintment report. Thankfully – which is clearly on my word of the day calendar, henny – Shea and Sasha came through with an aggressively sexual and hilarious cooking segment.
Rounding out the show Naya Rivera arrived for the celebrity interview where Sasha continued to carry the team, asking insightful questions before the show wrapped.
Not on Today then arrived in studio to film their show, where Trinity really struggled with the autocue. Sadly that was the high point, with Peppermint flubbing her lines, followed by Charlie and Cynthia having zero charisma or life in their entertaintment report.
Despite a valiant effort from Eureka and Nina, there was no saving that show. Particularly when Charlie wrapped up the interview and the show, with no one saying goodbye.
The next day, the queens prepared for the Naughty Nighties runway where Aja was concerned about her lack of chemistry with Valentina, given that she is coming off a stint in the bottom two. Valentina heard this and confronted Aja about how she was treating her, where Aja spoke about being disappointed in herself and apologised for taking it out on Valentina.
Across the werk room Charlie and Cynthia got heavy and spoke about the aids epidemic, with Charlie having lost most of her best friends to the virus in the ‘80s. She then spoke about her survivor’s guilt and broke down … thankfully – there I fucking go again – she could do a smoky eye on the runway, so not all hope was lost.
Valentina then wanted to share with the group and opened up about her disorder, or tried to, before Eureka interrupted and suggested it was an eating one, pissing off Sasha who has a history with eating disorders. The argument went back and forth before Valentina had to add mama to her list of talents, telling the girls they have to stop and focus on the runway.
After also slaying the runway, Shea and Sasha were declared co-winners with their team all declared safe. Living up to their name, Not on Today landed in the bottom where Eureka and Nina were praised as the sole standouts.
Wanting to add to the shade of the episode, Ru asked my favourite question of the season – who does everyone think deserves to go home. Trinity and Peppermint opting for Charlie, Charlie and Cynthia voting Peppermint and Eureka voting for Trinity … before Trinity called shade on her shit. Nina then also voted for Trinity, keeping the voting in the pairs from the show.
Pop on your conspiracy theory tinfoil hats, people!
Despite Trinity and Charlie being praised for their runway looks, the duo landed in the bottom two where Charlie appeared to have given up completely, allowing Trinity to completely mop the floor with her and send the trans-atlantic dame back across the pond.
Heck, Charlie was just counting down until Ru told her to sashay away.
Charlie is one of my oldest – well definitely oldest – and dearest friends, having met in the 30s, when we, along with Stockard Channing, were in our 40s. While Charlie is an extremely talented queen – and we were robbed of Lana Del Rey on snatch game – she never seemed to find her feet in the competition.
Thankfully – fuck, AGAIN?! – I had found my feet in the kitchen and quickly cheered her up with my Charleek Hides Mushroom Omelette.
Despite the mushrooms not being as hidden as the name would suggest, this eggy, Meggy delight is the perfect thing to wake up to (outside of a Maggie Smith/Bieber sextape). The sweet leek, earthy mushroom and sharp feta work together to fill you up – oh gurl, it will fill … you … up – and get your day off to the perfect start.
Oh, and you’ll be shocked to know there is chilli involved – enjoy!
Charleek Hides Mushroom Omelette
4 rashers of streaky bacon, diced
1 leek, washed and thinly sliced
handful of mushrooms, thinly sliced
6 eggs, lightly whisked
salt and pepper
chilli flakes, to taste
knob of butter
150g danish feta, crumbled
toast, to serve
Heat a medium frying pan over medium heat and fry the bacon until crisp. Add the leek and mushrooms and cook for five minutes or so, or until the leek is soft and sweet.
Whisk the eggs in a measuring jug with a good whack of salt and pepper and chilli flakes … if you want, I guess.
Heat an omelette pan over medium heat and add a knob of butter. Once the butter is foamy and glorious, add the eggs and sweep a spatula across the base of the pan to give the eggs some texture. Once the egg is set around the edges, sprinkle over the bacon and leek mixture and feta, and reduce heat to low until just completely set.
Transfer to a plate and devour with toast.