Toast

Smashley Avolan

Bread, Breakfast, Main, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Survivor, the alliance that Ben spent two weeks pretending not to be a part of contemplated getting rid of him for realsies. Thankfully for him though he had an idol in his pocket, some chaos at tribal council and Mike around to throw half of Lauren’s idol in the fire. Ben played his idol while Lauren could not, sending her out of the game with Ben’s sole vote.

Things were rather solemn as Solewa returned to tribal, shocked by the fact that Ben pulled off the ultimate idol play, topping even Wentworth’s brutal slayage of Savage back in Cambodia. Ben then meandered off to get some water – I assume to toast his success – before Chrissy, Ryan and Mike confirmed with Devon that he and Ashley had no idea what was happening. They then locked him in as the next to go, which you know, means that he is safe this episode.

Ben returned from his drink to Devon heckling him about voting out the wrong person as he was going to make sure he doesn’t win immunity, despite the fact Lauren has won more challenges than him.

Early the next morning, Ben woke up to make a fire slash use the alone time to search high and low for his rehidden idol. Sadly for him, Chrissy and Mike woke up while he was gone and realised what he was up to. Though, they didn’t act on it, so who knows? I guess not everyone can be Caramoan Andrea to Malcolm and babysit them until they give up?

My lover Probsty arrived for the reward challenge, where the final six were separated into pairs and required to walk through an obstacle course to untether themselves from a rope before tossing three rings onto big, hard sticks. Given it was for an overnight getaway to a private resort it was, as Jiffy says, worth playing for. Coming as no surprise, Ben and Ashley got out to an early lead, followed closely by Devon and Chrissy while Mike and Ryan languished behind. Chrissy and Devon found a good rhythm, overtaking Ben and Ashley and securing reward. Obviously Jeff gave them the opportunity to pick one person to take on reward with them. They picked their mutual friend Ryan much to the chagrin of Ashley who was ropeable to be left out … and was conveniently left back at camp with the other half of the tribe.

She continued to seethe back at camp where Mike suggested they all take five minutes to rant before moving on. He then used his allotted rant time to paint a target on Ryan and Devon, saying he was concerned that the latter is trying to woo the former back to his side. Ben interrupted his rant to find out who he was targeting at the next tribal, with the silence letting him know that he was his target. Mike then went for a walk, allowing Ben the opportunity to talk to Ashley, clear the air and find an in. That being said, she shut him down pretty firmly and he resigned himself to finding the idol, which Mike assured us wouldn’t happen. So …

Over at the reward, Chrissy, Devon and Ryan got to work feasting before Devon kicked off the scheming, reaffirming that Ben needs to go first while Mike is also too much of a loose cannon to leave around. Chrissy then floated themselves as a potential final three, which the other two jumped at. After locking in their new alliance, Chrissy continued her favourite pastime and painted a target on the last remaining female, Ashley, deeming her to be more of a threat than Ben. Though I’m not sure why, other than the fact that she called her out at tribal. While that makes sense for Chrissy’s game, how is she going to sell that to Devon and Ryan?

Probst returned to the scene for an epic immunity challenge where the castaways were required to run a huge-ass obstacle course before untying sandbags before using said sandbag to toss into their basket and release a ladder. They then had to get another wall, toss it into a forked gap … and release another ladder. It obviously finished off with a big ol’ puzzle. Everyone was kind of neck and neck the entire way, which is kind of surprising given it looked insanely tiring. Given the puzzle was too hard to tell where people were placing, the long story short is that Chrissy took out victory and secured her place in the final five.


Back at camp Ben was feeling sore about losing the immunity challenge, disappearing to search for an idol while the remaining five hung out to re-confirm that they were going to take out Ben. They then moved the conversation to the water, worrying about him finding an idol WHILE HE WAS OPENLY SEARCHING FOR THE IDOL. Ashley then disappeared, allowing Chrissy to throw out the idea of getting rid of Ashley instead of Ben, to flush out Ben’s potential that nobody was guarding against and eliminating her final challenge threat. As expected Ben then found a clue to the idol while all alone, telling him it was hidden on the underside of the shelter. Everyone was casually chatting by the fire while Ben lounged around under the shelter, laying in wait for an opportunity to snatch the idol.

At tribal Ben spoke about being the odd man out before Probsty cut him off to throw some shade at Ashley not being selected for the reward, stoking Chrissy and Ashley’s simmering rage. Ryan and Mike spoke about their final three plans before Chrissy pointed out that making such a deal sends the message to them, that you think they are beatable which is terrible jury management. Ben then spoke about being a lone wolf before Mike appears to have put his foot in it, pointing out that Ben is good at playing the game and he wouldn’t be surprised if he got his way at tribal, making Ashley paranoid as she hasn’t heard of any plan Ben has come up with.

After some back and forth Devon locked in the fact that Ben was going home tonight, leading to him pulling out the idol and saying that that isn’t actually happening. Chrissy didn’t appreciate his gloating, while everyone else was kind of just dumbfounded. Ben then asked Ashley and Devon if they wanted to go back to camp tonight, which Ashley agreed to and was instructed to take out Mike. Devon however wasn’t so sure Ben would play his idol, leading to Ben playing it early and everyone else to panic as they headed off to vote. Despite agreeing to take out Mike, Ben joined with the rest of the tribe to take out Ashley and send her to my loving arms in Ponderosa.

While Ash was weeeeellllll pissed after her blindside, the love of her dear friend slash ex-swim coach was able to bring her back to normal. As you know, I’m a big deal in the swim scene – hey Kat and Lisa! – and became a dear friend of Ash while coaching her and getting her into the lifeguard biz. She may have calmed down after I explained how well she had done, she wasn’t able to come back to normal until she attacked some Smashley Avolan.

 

 

Let’s be honest, there is nothing better than a good smashed avo … and I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet, but this is pretty damn perfect. Though I am a millennial and value avo more than owning a home, so who knows if I’m actually correct. That being said, lemon, chilli and feta – need I say more?

Enjoy!

 

 

Smashley Avolan
Serves: 2 bitter Betty’s on the jury.

Ingredients
4 slices of fresh sourdough
1-2 avocados
1 lemon, cut into wedges
2 tsp chilli flakes
salt and pepper
100g feta (but realistically closer to 200g)

Method
Toast the bread to taste.

Smash the avo with a dash of lemon juice, chilli, and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Generously heap on the toast, crumble with feta and devour, with extra lemon juice as required.

 

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Avi Dukkah-Jones Eggs

Breakfast, Side, Snack, Survivor NZ: Nicaragua, TV Recap

After 39 – or 40 days, depending on whose narration you trust / whether you go off the titles, rather than the final day supers – surviving a rough start on the weaker tribe, gaining some power and allies at the swap and navigating the post-merge with ease – aside from the Sala blindside and never being able to win a challenge – Avi landed in the final three with Tom and Barb.

Thanks to his dominant social game, the final tribal council was a complete Avi love fest – with a Barb roas-t as the supporting act. The jury then all piled their votes on Avi, except for Jak, handing him victory over Tom … and the runner-up prize for the US seasons.

While Avi’s game wasn’t as showy, exciting – or physical – he made extremely strong bonds early in the game, that carried him through to the final tribal council. What is most impressive about this, is that he was able to stay in the game despite everybody knowing they would lose to him in the end.

J.T., meet you kiwi equal.

I mean, as much as Barbs’ game impressed me strategically, the way she was willing to play the game to get Avi to the end and almost give up to guarantee him one vote at final tribal is a testament to his social game. Sure it is boring to watch, but it is no less artful.

Given the fact that I was hardcore fangirling over Tom, I wasn’t as gracious and congratulatory as I could be when we met up post game.

“Hey Ben – are you going to cook something for me like everyone else,” he asked like a victim of my rage.

“Make your own fucking eggs,” I screamed … before breaking down in tears and then laughing maniacally. I mean, what are the odds that I’d make eggs – more specifically Avi Dukkah-Jones Eggs – for the inaugural Sole Survivor of Survivor New Zealand?

 

 

Like Avi, these babies are hard to fault. Perfectly boiled eggs, butter slathered toast and a hearty spoon of dukkah. It isn’t a showy meal, but it feels right for Survivor NZ. I mean, at least it isn’t melted funsized chocolate in a ziplock bag?

Enjoy!

 

 

Avi Dukkah-Jones Eggs
Serves: 2

Ingredients
2 eggs
2 tbsp dukkah
4 slices of bread, toasted and slathered in butter to serve

Method
Heat a saucepan of water over high heat. Once bubbling, add the eggs and boil for five minutes.

Drain and run under cold water to stop cooking.

Peel the eggs, slice in half and generously sprinkle with butter before devouring.

 

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Scrambled Flick Eggintons

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2016), Breakfast, Main, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, the time had finally come for Matt, Flick and Kristie to split El and Lee and coast to the final three … so obviously the girls actually stuck with Lee and El as they made Matt the Magician disappear.

Seriously, I’m at the end of my tether and starting to lose faith in Kristie.

We opened up straight after tribal where Lee bemoaned the fact that Flick had tried to blindside the lovers again, despite the fact she literally told them that she was planning on booting El. Kristie then said something cryptic and wandered back into the woods, while you beaut El pulled Flick aside and tried to make her feel guilty. Ironically, she is the only one with nothing to feel guilty for, as she is the only one left making it interesting.

By the time day 52 rolled around, Flick realised that the OG Aganoans were in an alliance and that she is well and truly screwed. Not to be outdone, Kristie then ran us through her options which are rapidly becoming win final immunity or lose the game, since booting Matt last tribal.

Kristie then started a circle jerk – not literally guys, Sam has gone so Lee is riding solo in that regard – where each castaway had to say something they are proud of from their time in the game. Obviously El’s proudest moment is Lee – she needs to back off my (very soon to be ex) man.

Wanting to cut my grass, the producers then laid out enough ingredients to cook a feast, however Flick – being the only contestant left with a brain – used the opportunity to learn how to make fire in the hope that she could force a tie. So I guess Ten’s slight wasn’t a complete bust.

El and Flick started to have a babe off over the aforementioned fire while Kristie tried to emulate Queen Sandra Diaz-Twine by hiding in the rocks and eavesdropping. Lee then dropped by to talk about how horribly Flick is manipulating Kristie, despite it being his entire game, before El – hopefully – foreshadowed Kristie’s final immunity victory while creeping on her as she ate. Obviously in a hella patronising way, as El is known to do.

Despite having pushed me into a corner for the last half an hour, Kristie then started to work her way back into my heart by running off in the middle of the night to practice making fire. She may not have worked hard for the win, but it would be hilarious if she pulls it off … and kind of perfect for a completely bizarre season that always seem to head towards greatness, before choking and fizzling out with an eh.

Finally we arrived at the immunity challenge, an old favourite comprised of different stages from previous challenges. Given the fact that they’ve been pretty useless in challenges all season, it was no real shock that neither Kristie or Flick had any hope of victory while El, the deadset cobber that she is, was able to take out the victory.

More importantly, Lee got caught up in the ropes before working on getting his pole nice and big and hard enough to have a crack at penetrating my (key)hole.

With El wearing the necklace, we arrived back at camp, where the tribe commenced their scrambling … which pretty much meant Lee and El chilled while Flick worked overtime to try and convince Kristie and then El and even Lee to vote with her. And Kristie looked on, panicked from the shore.

Despite a strong performance at tribal council calling out literally everything, poor Flick’s work was all for naught as she found herself out of the game and into my arms. Obviously I was a mess to see my closest friend of the cast – we started as Meter Maids together in 2012 – booted from the game. After disgracing myself with the leftover Mattrioskas and a rancid Desmopolitan, Flick nursed me back to health the next morning until I was well enough to whip were up a big batch of my Scrambled Flick Eggintons.

 

scrambled-flick-eggintons-1

 

While they may not be the most difficult or elegant dish, there is something perfect about something as simple as scrambled eggs. Lightly whisked and folded through foaming butter, scrambled eggs can cure anything … even watching a season of your favourite show take a pretty hard nosedive.

Enjoy!

 

scrambled-flick-eggintons-2

 

Scrambled Flick Eggintons
Serves: 1.

Ingredients
3 large eggs
salt and pepper
1 tbsp butter, plus more for toast
a couple of slices of sourdough

Method
Crack the eggs into a bowl, season with a pinch of salt and pepper and give a hearty whisk.

Slowly melt the butter in a small frying pan over low heat and cook until frothy. Pour the beaten eggs into the pan and slowly stir with a spatula, dragging the spatula around the edges of the pan and dragging towards the centre, creating light, delicate folds.

When they have formed delicate, wet curds, remove from the heat and butter your toast – you need to make toast at some point in this process, FYI. In that time, the eggs will have finished cooking. Spoon over the toast, season with a good whack of pepper and devour.

 

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