Celippos

Dessert, Drag Race France, Drag Race France 1, Snack, Sweets, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race France the dolls finally played Snatch Game and well, it was a pretty good show. Grande Damn, Soa, Paloma and Elips all had their characters down and had Nicky in stitches, with nary a rattlesnake noise to be heard. While Lolita clearly struggled, I still found her to be quite solid with only Kam and Bertha struggling. Ultimately La Grande Dame’s slay secured her first win of the season, while Kam and Bertha ended up lip syncing for their lives. Hilariously to stock music, given they didn’t have the rights to the song in Australia. While we couldn’t really tell how either girl went, Bertha fought her way out of the bottom while poor Kam exited the competition.

Backstage the dolls were heartbroken to have lost Kam but delighted to see she has left such a fun, cute message. With Kam going with a win under her belt, the dolls were shaken and well and truly realised that they are rapidly approaching the pointy end of the competition. The next day, however, the dolls were back to feeling their oats and living their best lives as they posed their way back into the Werk Room. Bertha opened up about how sucky it feels when you have to lip sync for your life, though she was glad to survive and ready to rise like a phoenix. While Soa was ready for Grande Dame to lip sync, now that she has a challenge win under her belt. 

Nicky interrupted their kiki to announce that given they have worked so hard, they would each be able to nap for a minute … before ruining their bliss with a Mini Challenge where they would pair up star in a beauty parlour skit where they would be doing each other’s make up. While wearing wacky glasses, assuming nothing got lost in translation. Soa and Grand Dame were silly and wild, as Soa was aggressively put in a baby-hooker mug. Lolita gave Elips the sloppiest mug, though their segment kinda dragged before Paloma and Bertha were just oh so fun, despite Bertha finishing up looking like a granny-hooker. Though obviously it was Grande Dame and Soa who took out victory, since duh, Soa is charismatic as hell.

And given said victory gave them the chance to pick their groups in this week’s girl groups Maxi Challenge, it was the correct one to win. Soa selected Elips and Lolita to join her band, while Grande Dame went with Bertha and was left with Paloma. Who thankfully wasn’t upset, just ready to demolish writing their verses and performing their song Boom Boom live on the mainstage. Oh and they’ll be doing things UK Season 3 style, with one group getting a pop version and with the other ones rocking out.

After Nicky exited, the dolls sat down to listen to each version with the groups conveniently wanting different ones, making it super chill and very much not an All Winners Vivienne or Camden vs Bosco vibe. Soa, Elips and Lolita were ready to rock the rock, confident in Lolita’s ability to kill the choreography. Team Grande Dame meanwhile were going to be popping up consent, which instantly made the returned Nicky nervous about her making things fun. Meanwhile Team Soa announced they would be going by The Nails and were super confident with their plan to focus on their flaws and make fun of them.

Paloma, Grande Dame and Bertha – aka Les Soeurs Jacquettes – were first up to record with Mark Weld and zaddy Thoj. And once everyone got over how hot Thoj was, they made quick work of laying down their vocals. Well Paloma and Bertha did, as Grande Dame struggled to find her intro. Though when she did, it was perfect. While Elips was a little bit apprehensive when The Nails stepped behind the microphone, they all ended up knocking it out of the park as they got into their rock personas.

Jour d’elimination arrived with the dolls quickly splitting up to get ready for their girl band debuts before Soa admitted her dad didn’t know she did drag. Lolita opened up about how acceptance and support varies from family to family and she is lucky to have her family’s support, in drag and as someone living with HIV. She opened up to the girls about her status and how she has had to push through so many labels in her life though was grateful for them and her parents support. And then talk turned about how the gay community are generally more careful about HIV than the straights which is a timely reminder, given they have the highest rates of transmission now. So yeah, everyone needs to be sensible and take precautions, ya hear red cross?!

Nicky, Daphné and Kiddy were joined on the judges panel by Shy’m and Yanis Marshall as Les Soeurs Jacquettes opened the show with their pop version of Boom Boom. And it was so much fun, despite barely being able to hear Paloma’s verse, as the trio looked to have the best time in all their bright glory. And nailing every move. The Nails’ rock version was moody, cohesive and a hell of a good time too, despite Elips feeling slightly out matched by her sisters.

On the La nuit des 1000 Mylène runway, Lolita was a moody, sexy vamp, dripping in blood and spreading the undetectable = untransmittable message. Elip was a chic delight – so chic, Jamie – in a chequered 80s suit, Grande Dame was stunning in a big, geometric gown, revealing a sexy nude illusion dress underneath. Soa brought the drama, looking beautiful in a red gown before revealing a skimpy white skirt and bandeau underneath. Paloma was beautiful in a shimmering golden gown before revealing a flowing, white Tawny Kitaen-esque gown. On and then Bertha closed the show looking gorgeous as an ancient warrior.

The judges felt like Bertha went into cosplay territory on the runway, though loved her performance. Despite Daphné finding her to be too reserved. They loved Paloma’s look too, though found her to be nervous in the performance. Grande Dame meanwhile received universal praise for both the runway – despite not giving Myène – and the performance, though she was reminded to follow direction better. The judges loved every single thing Soa served this week, as they did with Lolita. Particularly for her powerful message on the runway. Elips meanwhile was beloved on the runway, though read for being too reserved and nervous in the performance.

Backstage Bertha toasted everyone for nailing the challenge, though TBH they were all exhausted. Everyone agreed it was Soa’s challenge to lose and it was likely Elips and Paloma would be the two lip syncing. Soa admitted she was trying to make sure everyone shined in her team before Paloma opened up about being so lonely growing up.

We then quickly flipped back to the mainstage where the dolls were proven right, as Soa took out her second, very well deserved victory of the season before Elips and Paloma were told they would be lip syncing as Lolita, Bertha and Grande Dame were sent to safety. And once again, they couldn’t spring for the Australisian rights to the song and so the dolls two-stepped the Wagon Wheel Watusi until Nicky opted to send Elips home. But before we get to that, let’s focus on how much of a bop the royalty free song was. Truly Le-Gend-Aire!

As was Elips’ run on the show, she was super chill and composed as she made her way backstage. I pulled her in for a massive hug and praised her for how magnetic and polished she is as a performer. While she was one of the quieter personalities, there is no denying that Elips is an absolute star. One that is very worthy of being celebrated over a batch of Celippos.

Yes, these little copycats are nothing more than frozen juice. But when they taste like nostalgia and joy, how can you be disappointed? Sweet and fresh, these are the perfect way to fill a summer afternoon.

Enjoy!

Celippos
Serves: 6-8.

Ingredients
3 cups pineapple juice
3 cups raspberry juice

Method
Freeze both juices for about half an hour, or until starting to firm but are by no means solid.

Blitz the first juice in a blender and pour into ice cream moulds (or sandwich bags, if you want to try for the calippo shape). Blitz the second juice in the blender and gently pour it in the mould, to have two distinct colours.

Transfer to the freezer and leave to set for a few hours. Then, devour.


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Schmearus Holmes

Breakfast, Condiment, Snack, Survivor South Africa, Survivor South Africa: Return of the Outcasts, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor South Africa with Tania gone, the target on Pinty’s back was briefly reduced. Though given she continued to upset people on her tribe, it quickly grew back bigger than ever. After Yontau lost another immunity challenge, it looked like the tribe were going to send her from the game. That is until Phil and Dino hatched a plan to blindside Tevin from the game for being too powerful. Oh and to make Pinty feel super loyal to them. They went person to person until they had enough numbers, leaving Seamus, Shona and Killarney on the outs as Tevin exited the game.

The next day Seamus was disappointed to find himself on the outs with his tribe, despite not really caring that his buddy Tevin left. To try and fix things, he approached Dino to clear the air and see why he was left out. Dino admitted to us that he never knew where he stood with Seamus, though he apologised to him and said they can work together moving forward. Phil meanwhile was thrilled by how everything went down, glad to have built trust with a majority AND have Pinty’s undying loyalty. Shona meanwhile was also feeling disappointed, worried that once again her tribe was underestimating her. Though she assured us it would be at their peril. And well, werk Queen Shona.

Over at Masu Dante was busy removing the symbols from the trees as they all anticipated a swap. He then moved over to Toni and assured her that he is always willing to work with her and come swap, he wants her to know he can be trusted.

The tribes met up with Nico for the next reward challenge where they were gagged to remain on their OG tribes. Anyway, one person would sit in a crate and be wheeled and carried through an obstacle course by the rest of the tribe before solving a puzzle at the end. First tribe to finish getting to spin a wheel to decide their reward. Despite a slower start, Dino’s untying – with burnt hands, no less – got Yontau out to an early lead. Finishing in a blow-out, despite a late-breaking burst from Meryl on Masu, as once again they struggled to work as a team. After spinning the wheel Yontau were less than thrilled to discover they won a bag of lentils. They were thrilled, however, to get the chance to invite two people from Masu to join them, who will also get a chance to spin the wheel. And just like that, Toni and Tejan locked in mac and cheese for them. Well Toni, but Tejan got to go for the trip too so let’s give him some credit.

Back at camp Marian, Dante and Steffi worried about how much shit Toni will talk about while on the reward. Palesa meanwhile was busy working her way back in with her tribemates, speculating who was the biggest threat on the other tribe, with Dante identifying Dino and boy was he laser focused on getting him out ASAP! Speaking of Dino, he and the Yontau tribe were joyously smashing their mac and cheese as Toni warned everyone about how threatening Dante is. Particularly for the men. And while she was running her mouth, poor Tejan just looked on, worried about how to navigate her mouth moving forward.

They returned to the Masu camp with Toni feeling the welcome was frosty and therefore chose to hold back sharing most of the information. And sadly for her, everyone knew it. As such, Shane went for a walk with Tejan, where he admitted how much information Toni gave the rival tribe and he was now willing to join the rest of the tribe to vote her out.

The next day Seamus was still busy making new friends to take control over at Yontau, doing some yoga with Killarney. While she wanted to work with Dino, Seamus suggested he was only wanting to protect the strong men to help him come merge. And while she was open to all plans, she ultimately just wanted to stick with the numbers until after the merge. Seamus then tried his luck with Shona where things went far more poorly, as she didn’t buy anything he was saying and as such, was ready to turn on him instead. Over at Masu, Steffi and Marian continued to bond, with Steffi going so far as to share the fact she found the hidden immunity idol.

Zaddy Nico made his triumphant return for the immunity challenge where the tribes would have to solve a puzzle to release a key, unlock a gate and climb through some obstacles before solving another, giant slide puzzle. While Masu generally struggles with the challenges where they have to work together, they managed to get out to an early lead. Well, until Yontau caught up at the final puzzle as Masu struggled to listen to one person. While Yontau started to pull ahead, Masu managed to get things together, overtake them and secure immunity once again.

Back at camp Shona quickly got to work scrambling, approaching Phil to float the idea of getting rid of Seamus before he could turn things on Dino. Killarney soon joined them and the trio locked in the vote, but Killarney was quite confused so it could get cooked like Cara before her. Seamus meanwhile was busy approaching Pinty about getting rid of Dino, worrying that a swap is imminent and not wanting to face off against him during a puzzle challenge. After locking in Pinty, he approached Thoriso to join what he felt was their final number. Thoriso meanwhile was not keen, immediately approaching Pinty about getting rid of Seamus too. Much to her absolute delight.

Unaware everyone else was already down to get rid of Seamus, Shona approached Dino to fill him in on everything that had been going on around camp. And while Dino had wanted to protect Seamus in the game, he was happy to pivot and turn on him instead. With him quickly looping in Felix, as he delighted in everyone working for him and essentially doing his dirty work. Oh and he was going to throw a vote on Killarney JIC Seamus had an idol.

At tribal council Shona spoke about the tribe generally being unified, despite being left out of the loop on the last vote. Phil agreed that while that will happen, the tribe collectively wanted to get as many people to merge and that is unwavering. Thoriso stopped Nico from pulling apart the argument, saying that unity is about sticking together in the face of differences and not a sign of any larger problem. Like a damn boss. Killarney explained how the votes have been based on a number of reasons, while Dino just wanted to play the game without being malicious and always wanted to be fun and friendly. While Seamus said it would be silly to trust everyone, though he was trying not to be paranoid and trust is all about taking a leap of faith. Which Felix agreed with.

With that the tribe voted and poor Seamus found he lept in the wrong direction, as the tribe banded together to boot him from the game. While Seamus spoke about the trauma of being voted out first in the Philippines, it forced him out of his shell and to address things that were bothering him. And that introspection, led to him being an absolute delight this go around and while I was sad to see him go so soon, I am proud about how he had grown. Which is word-for-word what I told him as we smashed Schmearus Holmes in Loser Lodge.

Yeah yeah, bagels and cream cheese are a match made in heaven. But if you really want to elevate your breakfast experience, a good schmear is where it’s at. And this one is glorious. Salty bacon, sweet shallots and a hint of paprika work together to start your day right.

Enjoy!

Schmearus Holmes
Serves: 1 person with a spoon, TBH.

Ingredients
100g bacon, diced
250g cream cheese, softened 
4 spring onions, finely sliced
1 tsp paprika
salt and pepper, taste

Method
Place a frying pan over medium heat and cook the bacon for a few minutes, or until crisp. Remove and drain on a paper towel until cool.

Once chill, combine everything in a bowl – less salt, more pepper is my advise – or using the paddle attachment in a stand mixer if you’re feeling lazy. Transfer to a serving bowl and leave to chill for half an hour or so before schmearing on a bagel. Or devouring with a spoon. Because it is good.


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Gigantes Swati Goel

Breakfast, Main, Side, Snack, Survivor, Survivor 42, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, mother nature proved quite the spoiler in the immunity challenge and while Taku were able to dominate and quickly earn their immunity, the other tribes weren’t so lucky. Mainly because they didn’t have a Jonathan who absolutely beasted his way through the challenge, keeping his tribe from drowning and single handedly finishing said challenge. After resetting the challenge and skipping over the water section, Vati lost and despite knowing her alliance was already down a vote, Chanelle decided to risk hers at the summit. Which obviously meant she lost hers too, leading to a deadlock vote between Lydia and Jenny, before Daniel’s fear doomed not only his alliance with Chanelle – after throwing her under the bus over and over – but sent the iconic Jenny from the game.

Back at camp Daniel realised how badly he cooked things but instead of immediately apologising, he requested the tribe ignore everything for the moment and instead talk it through in the morning. Chanelle meanwhile did not want to wait, calling him out for completely throwing him under the bus though admitted to us that getting rid of Lydia was totally her idea. She then continued her revenge bus-throwing, telling Mike that Daniel told her he didn’t have a vote because of his idol. While Hai summed it up succinctly explaining that everyone in the tribe blindsided him except for Lydia, who is only here because Daniel stupidly told him that he desperately didn’t want to go to rocks, meaning all Hai had to do was hold firm. Hai then pulled Mike aside and the duo apologised to each other and vowed to work together now that Daniel is persona non-grata. While the same can not be said about Mike and Daniel as Mike parented him by explaining how disappointed in him that he was.

Jeffrey arrived first thing the next day as the tribes lined up for a reward challenge where they would each have to untangle themselves from a rope, hook a sled of balls and then shoot some hoops for a feast of fish. Which they obviously have to clean and cook themselves in this new era of Survivor. Taku got out to an early lead which was obviously only extended, given they have Jonathan on their tribe. Maryanne quickly shot her first basket, followed by Omar on his second try before Jonathan and Lindsay secured reward before anyone else even came close to finishing. Sadly though, Jonathan explained that they keep dominating because they’re such a tight four which obviously painted a target on all their backs. Despite the fact Tori called Jonathan out for carrying his tribe. Which seems like a bad idea for her game too, but whatever.

Taku returned to camp and was delighted by just how massive their fish were before Maryanne and Omar told Jonathan that he shouldn’t have outed how tight they are. Though given he is so indispensable, he doesn’t really have to worry. Jonathan opened up to Lindsay about how he hated Tori calling him out for being so strong, though he did try to look on the bright side about how it now means everyone knows that he is the ultimate shield. He then told us how playing Survivor has always been a dream of his and how he is working so hard so that his tribe knows that he is playing a selfless game to lessen his threat level. Given it is a bad idea to boot someone who is straight up keeping you alive. Well, bad idea to boot them early.

Meanwhile over at Ika, Romeo was busy building a fire while Rocksroy barked orders to him about how best to do things. Which made Romeo more and more annoyed by him. Swati and Tori caught up with Swati floating the idea of getting rid of Drea and her extra vote so that they could take a power position. Sadly though, Tori had no interest in working with Rocksroy and he was essentially their only option to take control. Despite hating him, Tori caught up with Rocksroy to form a bond though given she thinks he is a narcissist, she has no interest and this isn’t going to end well. She continued to push through her reservations, telling Rocksroy about Drea’s extra vote to build trust. Which he immediately broke, going straight to Drea to out her for sharing said information and essentially making everyone turn on her.

The tribe rejoined with Jeff over the water for the latest immunity challenge where after Maryanne once again told her tale of the bunny rabbit eating dinner in the mailbox, they would race out to a tower, climb said tower to release keys before unlocking puzzle pieces. And solving said puzzles. While yeah, yeah Taku got out to an early lead, the most important part of the challenge was who took Monika Radulovic’s mantle as the belly flopping icon with Lydia missing her key multiple times though thankfully she did not crack her gut . As Taku whipped through the puzzle, Ika struggled, allowing Vati to catch up with Chanelle powering along and taking out the second immunity, sending Ika back to tribal council.

Back at camp Rocksroy was growing more and more frustrated by the tribe’s inability to win, though he was very much looking forward to getting rid of Tori. Meanwhile Tori was catching up with Romeo, who told him that Swati told her that everyone but her was aligned and as such, Tori felt she could only work with Swati. This pissed off Romeo who went to Drea to float the idea of getting rid of Swati instead. Particularly since she straight up told everyone that they were her number one. Tori included, who they next caught up with to officially lock in the vote to get rid of her instead. Swati grew nervous and caught up with Romeo and then when he didn’t make her feel any better, she approached Drea to try and clear the air. And while Tori’s story sounded more plausible, Drea felt like neither she nor Swati were really good for her game and as such, she wasn’t sure who to prioritise getting rid of first.

At tribal council Drea wasn’t really sure how to articulate the general vibe of the tribe, while Tori straight up called it a mess but was hopeful that voting out the messy one will help bring them together. Swati tried to talk around in circles and play coy about Tori trying to blindside Drea before Tori jumped in and told her she was projecting and that Swati had been trying to get rid of Drea from the first tribal council. Drea meanwhile was frustrated to always have her name on the block despite wanting to bring everyone together while Swati grew more and more nervous, telling the tribe that getting rid of Tori will fix all of the tribe’s problems. With Romeo agreeing that getting rid of the person the majority wanted to vote out would bring them together. Rocksroy jumped in to praise Swati for putting herself out there despite her insecurities. Which appeared to be the kiss of death as after playing her shot in the dark and not gaining safety, she was booted from the tribe. While her sole remaining ally Rocksroy looked on, enraged.

Sweet Swati was pretty chill and accepting as she entered Loser Lodge, despite her obvious disappointment. While everything seemed to be going well early on in the game, Swati’s multiple deals unravelled everything. Along with Tori taking advantage of it, which was something she and Zach were able to bond over. That and a piping hot bowl of Gigantes Swati Goel.

I know, I know – beans aren’t usually the most exciting of meals, but these are an oh so delicious exception. Smooth, sweet and packing a little bit of spice, these are a perfect mid-week dinner or a delicious winter breakfast. Essentially, get amongst them.

Enjoy!

Gigantes Swati Goel
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 onion, diced
4 rashers streaky bacon, diced
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 carrots, peeled and cut into coins
1 tsp chilli flakes
800g can diced tomatoes
400g can butter beans
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 bay leaves
⅓ cup fresh parsley, roughly chopped
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, to taste
100g feta, crumbled, for serving

Method
Heat a lug of olive oil in a dutch oven over medium heat and cook the onion and bacon together for five minutes. Or until golden and sweet. Add the garlic, carrot and chilli and cook for a further few minutes or until starting to soften.

Stir in the tomatoes, butter beans, tomato paste and bay leaves with half a cup of water. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for fifteen minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in the parsley, red wine vinegar and a good whack of salt and pepper.

Serve immediately with a heaping of feta and devour. Soothingly.


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Janey Ducké Dumplings

Main, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World, RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs the World 1, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: UK vs the World, the top six were finally tasked with playing Snatch Game. Now, in a Family Feud format! While Ru encouraged her to go with the riskier character, Janey missed the opportunity and shrunk away. Pangina meanwhile gave a full Mariah illusion, though wasn’t very funny. Though that be because she was on a panel with Juju giving the most demented Cher ever and Baga who gave an acting masterclass as Kathy Bates in Misery. She ultimately landed in the top with Blu, who gave a hilarious one-two Mike Myers punch before she won her first ever solo challenge after demolishing the lip sync. Then things took a hard pivot as she went full Naomi Smalls, eliminating Pangina who then sobbed with heartache. While Blu was literally shaking with shock based on her actions.

Backstage the dolls were well and truly shell shocked about Pangina’s elimination and her reaction to it, while Blu apologised and admitted even she didn’t think it would go like that. While Blu worried about whether she will have a career ever again, Mo encouraged her that she will and people will move on since it is a game, after all. While Baga meanwhile was focused on wanting some of Pangina’s outfit, with Mo joking she won’t fit into it.

The dolls sat down to kiki and congratulated both the girls on their lip sync before Juju questioned why Blu did what she did, with her admitting that she voted Pangina for being the biggest competition. Since that is what she did with Jimbo, and her now being a winner left her at risk should Pangina win another challenge. Baga then gagged the dolls with the news that she was also going to get rid of Pangina, with her motive being like Scream 2’s Mrs Loomis, good old fashioned revenge. As Mo and Blu caught up, Mo admitted that she would probably have done the same thing if she was in the top. And assured her that she will still be honouring their alliance should she make it to the top this week.

The girls had processed their trauma the next day with Blu proudly reminding the girls it was her first solo win ever. While Juju assured them that while Thailand would have been rooting for Pangina and they will be super disappointed, they still have a sister in Pangina. While Blu admitted that being a little villainous was quite fun and she didn’t really feel bad anymore. Talk turned to whether the final five is what everyone was expecting with Mo admitting that she is not surprised she is there, though is still shocked Janey made it past day one. Oh and promised them that it is finally time for the US girls to shine.

Ru dropped by to announce this week’s Maxi Challenge, where the dolls would rework Ru’s song Living My Life (in London), putting a spin on the verse in honour of their hometowns. And after writing their verses, will join Little Mix’s Jade Thriwall to record their songs. And then choreograph a routine and perform it on the mainstage.

The dolls sat down to talk about their towns with Juju doing Boston while Baga will focus on Soho. And then did a Toni Braxton impersonation, which was a vibe. Mo then suggested that to decide the order of verses, they should go alphabetically meaning Baga goes first, Blu next, followed by Janey, Juju and then Mo. Which Juju correctly identified as a smart move, given it guaranteed Mo could be the closer to the end and leave a lasting impression with the judges. They moved on to writing their lyrics with Mo going the heart route about growing up poor and seeing the world thanks to Ru, while the girls dragged Juju for her lyrics. Which I thought were good?

When it came time to record their verse with Jade Thirwell, Baga was praised for being 100% her and absolutely knocking it out of the park. Blu continued to feel her oats for eliminating Pangina, and was solid in her record while poor Janey admitted she is not the strongest singer. But bless her, she tried. To quote Coco, find a key girl. As Jujubee was busy knocking it out of the park, Janey was whispering with her sisters, worried about how bad she was while sweet Mo just encouraged her to do some sick choreography.

Oh and trust and believe, Mo was also near perfection.

The group moved on to choreographing their performance with Mo terrified by the very different skill levels amongst her sisters. As such, she took control and told Janey she could do the end and she’d take the start. But while both of the dolls were trying to keep things simple, Baga already looked like she was ready to throw up. Until Blu asked when she would be contributing to the moves, leading to Juju suggesting they invent the Baga Chipz, much betta, move to help out. Poor Juju tried to get Mo and Janey to simplify the choreo, but given they only managed one verse in rehearsal, this is either going to be one big mess or a glorious triumph, and this is all a fake out.

Elimination Day arrived with Baga exhausted after a night working through the choreography before she and Juju caught up, with Baga admitting that Drag Race saved her life because she was an alcoholic before cutting back when on the show. When she admitted to drinking litres of gin a day, Juju noticed a lot of parallels in their journeys. Baga admitted that she can still have a drink but no longer considers herself an alcoholic while Juju opened up about needing to be completely sober. She explained that sobriety changed her entire life, leading to her leaving a 13 year relationship and completely changing her life for the better. And is this the beginning of Juju winner’s edit?

Yeah, yeah – insert the butterfly meme. I’m desperate for her to become Drag Race’s Boston Rob. I mean, she is from Boston after all.

Blu meanwhile was opening up about how much she loves her hometown despite how conservative it is, with Janey opening up about also growing up in a very conservative village and her parents sending her to school in Amsterdam to let her live freely. Because as she said, she was a very, very gay child. Which, relatable. Mo opened up about her very religious upbringing, conversion therapy and even a stint as a Minister. She spoke about how they are all constantly taught to be ashamed, before reminding all of them and us, that we are enough. And ugh, I love them all. 

Ru, Michelle – fresh from Party City, where she belongs – and Graham were joined on the judges panel by Jade Thirwell for the premiere of the Living My Life (In London) rumix. And damn, they were good. Even with Baga’s old lady dancing. The engineer did wonders with Janey’s record, Baga was fun, Blu was feisty but as predicted, this was truly the US girls time to shine. Juju was pitch perfect and looked absolutely stunning while Mo was spitting fire and giving absolute rockstar vibes.

On the Work of Art runway, Baga Chipz looked cute as Vincent Van Gough’s sunflowers but in a plot. Blu was perfection as a Picasso, Janey was Warhol’s Marilyn brought to life, and was stunning from head to toe. Juju looked gorgeous in a nude gown, channelling a stunning Miami art deco building, geddit. While Mo stole the show as a Dali rose and bleeding heart.

Baga received praise for bringing herself to the performance despite her lack of ability and for giving a glammed up version of a Baga look on the runway. Blu was praised for taking the shot at Pangina by Michelle while everyone loved her performance but felt her runway was a bit overwhelming. Ru then questioned Blu’s decision, who doubled down on only doing what Pangina did the week before which Ru congratulated her on. Janey was then read for blending into the background throughout the performance despite looking like a star. Both in the challenge and especially on the runway. Juju was praised for completely arriving, knocking the challenge out of the park and looking like perfection both times. Despite Graham not appreciating the art deco vibes on the runway. And well, the judges all lived for everything Mo did this week because she is a star. And her runway is just beautiful.

Ultimately and very deservedly, Juju and Mo were named the top two queens, meaning the remaining girls were all up for elimination. Backstage the dolls grabbed their drinks and toasted to Mo and Juju finally jagging a win, with Mo opening up about how good it feels to get that well earned praise. She then admitted it feels like a tougher choice than last week, given Mo would have totally cut Pangina if she survived. Baga asked about their judging criteria with neither being sure, making Blu nervous her alliance with Mo won’t stand. And she was worried about skiddies.

Mo pulled Baga aside with the latter telling her how much she loves Mo and wants to compete against her, quickly charming Mo into saving her. Blu meanwhile reminded Juju that she wasn’t the weakest in the challenge and as such she should be saved, using Juju’s criteria for Blu saving her the week before, against her. While she admitted Pangina’s wails are playing on a loop in her head and as such, she was tempted to take out a threat. Janey assured Mo she wants to be here and she feels she has grown throughout the competition and been given the opportunity to succeed. Baga assured Juju she wouldn’t be sending her home if the tables were turned before suggesting Juju should just eliminate her, given everyone did well and deserves to be there. With Juju admitting she knows what Baga is doing by downplaying herself as a threat. But isn’t even mad. Mo assured Blu their alliance stands while Janey and Juju spoke about the fact Janey had pulled her lip stick once but also saved her the time earlier.

Mo and Juju took their places on the mainstage, assuring us we were in for a show and well, a show they did give us. As soon as Toy by Netta kicked off, both of them gave it their all. Juju was cute and demented, Mo was all energy and fierce and well, it was definitely a fight. Ultimately though it was Juju who finally jagged her second win of the franchise, before she tearfully eliminated the iconic Janey Jacké.

Given Janey is just iconic and totally down to earth, she was totally fine with her elimination, accepting that she did the worst in the challenge. That being said, it is easier to feel zen when you know you were one of the three people to dominate the season, none of which are in the final. Meaning she also joined the robbed goddess club! I fell in love with Janey while watching her on Holland, so I was thrilled to be able to catch up with her and finally give her the culinary comfort she deserves, in the form of Janey Ducké Dumplings.

I feel like I’m on a bit of a dumpling kick at the moment and honestly, when they taste this good, I don’t even care. The rich duck is sweetly spiced by a little bit of hoisin to create the easiest, most decadent dump’ you could think of.

Enjoy!

Janey Ducké Dumplings
Serves: 2 dear friends, who I guess could now be lovers. Because as they say, how can we be lovers if we can’t be friends.

Ingredients
300g duck breast, minced
3 spring onions, sliced
1 tsp minced ginger
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp hoisin sauce
½ tsp sriracha
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp white pepper
40 gow gee wrappers

Method
Combine the duck minced, spring onions, garlic, ginger, hoisin, sriracha, salt and pepper and mix until well combined. Cover and pop in the fridge to chill for a good half an hour or so.

When the flavours have come together like the queens from across the globe, place the wrappers on a clean board and cover with a damp cloth. Working one-by-one, spoon a teaspoon of mixture into the centre of your dumpling wrappers and crimp or fold as desired. You know I go for the old easy pleat option to cover my bad joins.

Once they’re all done, heat a lug of oil in a large frying pan with a lid over medium heat. Cooking 6-8 at a time, pop the dumplings in the hot oil to fry on the bottom and cook for a few minutes. Add about ½ a cup of water and immediately pop on the lid, cooking for a further five minutes or until cooked through.

Repeat the process until they are all done – they can be frozen uncooked, but I am greedy – before devouring. With either some Nam Jimbo or extra hoisin. Or sriracha. Pretty much, you do you boo!


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Maddy Mormemphosis Burger

Burgers, Main, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race 14, Snack, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Drag Race the dolls were gagged to discover poor Kornbread had to exit the competition after her ankle went creek. Before they were immediately put the task of making a series of PSAs for the fake Save a Queen Foundation a charity to help the ever growing sea of first boot queens to achieve success. Desperate to have their breakout moment, both Bosco and Camden work their arses off and thankfully starred in the challenge. On the flipside, Jorgeous was trapped in her head and struggled throughout the shoot, while Orion just seemed stoned. Ultimately Bosco took out her first victory of the season while Jorgeous and Orion faced off in the lip sync. And well, I pity the next queen to face off against Jorgeous, as she is a damn star. And as such, Orion was sent home. Again.

Backstage the dolls were well and truly reeling from how epic Jorgeous’ performance was in the lip sync and after a stint in the bottom, she assured them that she is ready to fight. Before dropping a joke about dropping out of school for drag, so she can’t lose. The girls then sat down to kiki, congratulating Bosco and Camden for slaying the challenge while DeJa pointed out that Daya was pressed about not being in the top. With Daya cutting her off and telling her she was not disappointed and simply wanted feedback to know how to elevate and land in the top with them. And well, the dolls are getting more pressed with each passing week. Particularly our queen of safety, Daya.

The next day things were far more zen with Camden ready to keep her momentum going before talk turned to how sickening their spring runways were. Before we could learn anything more Ru dropped by to talk shit about Michelle, sharing she has been under the influence of Glambien and obsessively shopping. And well, now that she is clean and sober, Ru would like them to whip up a runway using her leftover purchases from Glamazon Prime. 

Immediately, the Pit Crew dropped their boxes off before the dolls ripped anything and everything open to find something they could use for their outfits. Camden got skincare, Kerri got school supplies, Daya got oven mitts and Angeria got condoms while Maddy got a blow-up doll. And me thinks this runway could be a big mess. Poor Willow meanwhile couldn’t open the boxes because of her hands and instead focused on just going through the dregs of what was left. Daya meanwhile was desperate to make it to the top this week, going with a mad, pink baby-doll. Willow shared that she too was going to whip up a baby doll idea, leading to Daya calling her over from across the room with the threat that SHE is doing a baby doll and has claimed the concept. No discussions.

Kerri was terrified, given sewing is not her gig and instead focused on why Michelle was allegedly buying all this crap. On the Flipside, Jasmine had all the plans and was very excited to knock it out of the park. Talk turned to the last sewing challenge as the dolls realised Maddy had to lip sync and as such checked in with how she was doing. And to quote Dorinda, she was not well, bitch.

Ru brought Carson along for a walkthrough, first dropping by to praise Jorgeous for slaying her lip sync last week. She opened up and suggested she would love to do something different and dark, and most importantly, make sure it fits. Particularly in the bodice. Kerri was up next and had already pulled together a concept, opening up about how being bullied while growing up has left her so focused on always looking good and fearing rejection. Maddy too had a big gown half done, sharing she was going with a country patchwork story and well, Carson and Ru weren’t buying it. Though she did vow to give the judges what they want from her. Angeria meanwhile was going for a sculptural fashion number, though the judges already were terrified by her choice of fabrics.

Camden too came in with a strong concept and when Ru felt she needed no advice on that, instead suggested she go with a bigger lip as hers disappear on the runway. I shit you not. Jasmine meanwhile was inspired by Sex and the City 2, which is never a good style choice. Willow was up next, delighting the judges with her plan to be a long-armed glamour monster of a child’s nightmares and well, again, I love her. Daya meanwhile was very confident in her concept and skills, gloating to Ru about how she makes most of her outfits. Though did tone it down and asked the judges what they need to see from her, with Carson telling her to stop doing Crystal make-up looks and instead, encouraged her to show them who SHE is.

Oh and then Ru and Carson had a fight which was demented, camp and well, I loved it.

With the judges out of the room, the girls split up to work on their garments with Willow getting stuck in her head, as her hands worked less and less. Kerri meanwhile was teaching Angeria about a step and repeat before Jasmine rubbed salt in Daya’s wounds, asking her whether she was happy with the judges critiques. Daya then spiralled and rambled about not being stuck in Crystal’s shadow, while she struggled to get out of Crystal’s shadow. Kerri meanwhile told us that Daya’s anger was only because she was desperate and encouraged us not to worry. Which does feel strangely soothing.

Gorgeous meanwhile was busy working on a big, fluffy purple gown which shed more and more with every moment, looking like she just trimmed Grimace’s pubes. As such, she decided to give up on the outfit, grabbing some of Angeria’s scraps and starting from scratch.

Elimination Day rolled around with Jorgeous admitting that she pulled her dress together in a matter of hours before she started to beat her mug. Speaking of beating her mug, Camden was ready to give the biggest lip Ru had ever seen while Kerri, Jasmine and Angeria spoke about who they felt was going to be in the bottom. With them tragically thinking Willow will be read for filth. Bosco and Daya meanwhile were praising DeJa for her killer drag shape while Angeria jokingly wondered why no one was praising her.

As Jorgeous straight up started to dance.

Kerri opened up about how she was kicked out of home at 15. Her father used to ask her to leave the room due to her feminine energy and ugh, he sounds like a toxic prick. Thankfully because of the way he treated her, she learnt that he was a horrible person and was ok without her family. Jasmine shared that she was outed by one of her father’s friends, with her father trying to make him stop doing drag. Thankfully, his girlfriend wasn’t a moron and told him to stop being stupid and treat her son like a human.

Maddy then opened up about how she told her dad that she was a drag queen just before she left for the competition, with her admitting he is ok with it and proud of her for following her passions. Talk turned to her mother, who she hasn’t really seen since she was 18 and opened up that she was essentially raised by her grandmother who lived in the next door trailer. Oh and then Camden said she came out while getting dropped off at boarding school. Which Bosco clarified was ballet boarding school, so it was unlikely to be a shock for her father.

Ru, Michelle and Carson were joined by Queen Taraji P. Henson on the judges panel  where Lady Camden was a pastel, fairy delight, complete with a massive lip which truly did transform her face. Jasmine meanwhile truly looked like the fifth doll in the second Sex and the City movie which honestly, is not a compliment. Daya was meanwhile the nightmare version of Kita Mean’s promo image, Maddy was super country cute complete with her boyfriend while Willow was the sexiest monster I’ve ever seen. And again, I love her. Willow is fucking fierce. Bosco was blue and horny and well, looked sexy despite some interesting fit around the hips. DeJa meanwhile improved on Jinkx’s promo look – you know the one – while Angeria was absolutely perfect, serving cocktail realness. And then Jorgeous gave a sexy, slutty mini-dress, looking like Shakira while Kerri was hot despite the fact her outfit had SO much going on.

Daya, Willow, Bosco and Kerri were sent to safety, much to Daya Betty’s absolute disgust. While Kerri too was disappointed to once again be safe, she was at least grateful for another week in the competition. Unlike Daya who scowled and stomped in, quietly sulking on the side. Bosco meanwhile was confused about where the dolls on the mainstage would place. Which led to Daya ranting about how hard she worked this week, while Jasmine just draped fabric around her perfect body. Which is clearly why she is in the bottom. As Bosco told her, reading my mind. Daya admitted that she thought she would be in the top but knew Lady Camden would likely take out a win. 

Oh and then she spoke about hating listening to people bitch and moan as she proceeded to bitch and moan. Again.

Willow on the flipside was thrilled to be safe, given she was so worried she would be in the bottom. She then said she had the best concept on the mainstage, eliciting eye rolls and shadiness from Daya. Bosco opened up about being proud of her look, explaining that she was leaning into the fact the challenge was to make shit without fabric and as such, didn’t do a garment that looked like it was made from fabric.

On the mainstage, Camden was busy receiving universal praise for everything she did, and for looking like an absolute star. With Ru particularly thrilled by her massive lips. Jasmine meanwhile was read for filth, misunderstanding Carson’s request for her to take off the hat as a joke. Maddy and her blow-up doll were deemed confusing, despite it looking cute and exactly on the narrative she was going with. While Taraji loved the comedy, she wished the look was more polished. DeJa’s look was beloved, except for the messy headpiece and fan. Angeria again received universal praise for literally everything she did, charming the judges with her descriptions and is this another win for her? Jorgeous also received universal praise with the judges living for the look despite its simplicity. Being a humble queen, Jorgeous thanked Angeria for sharing her scraps with her and ugh, it is too precious.

That being said, Ru was still tempted to make her lip sync, just because she wants to see her perform.

The tops and bottoms ventured backstage to untuck with Jasmine quickly claiming the fact she was in the bottom. Jorgeous meanwhile proudly spoke about how much the judges lived for her outfit as Daya and Jasmine looked on with simmering rage. Angie too proudly spoke about being in the top before Maddy pretended the judges lived for her before admitting the judges hated it. When she said she thought she’d be lip syncing tonight against Jasmine, and then Jasmine got angry at her for saying that she was ready to fight. Shadilly saying she is not bothered at all. While DeJa non-chalantly announced Maddy is here, she’s not queer and they need to get used to it.

Jasmine continued to rant, telling Maddy she is so much better than her and well, it was not cute. Maddy meanwhile tried to apologise and again, Maddy is kind and sweet and Jasmine does not look good in this moment. But you know who does? Taraji, who dropped in to kiki with the girls, telling them not to be stressed as this is not the last drag show and they are winners for being here and as such, they need to remember they are all stars. Not to be confused with All Stars. And well, it was glorious. I want Taraji to give me a pep talk because she is GOOD.

Ultimately Angeria was deemed only safe – robbed – as was Lady Camden, handing Jorgeous her first victory of the season. Much to her own shock and delight. And Daya Betty’s simmering rage at the back of stage. When it came to the bottoms, DeJa was narrowly sent to safety, leaving Jasmine and Maddy to battle to my girl Beyonce’s Suga Mama. And while I desperately wanted Maddy to own it from start to finish, Jasmine was feeling her oats, giving Queen Bey realness as she flipped and fucked the floor while Maddy dragged her massive gown around the stage as she served perfectly demented comedy. Sadly though, that wasn’t enough and we tragically lost our fierce straight sister Maddy.

For realsies. As she too came up chocolate, with her candy bar.

As Maddy re-entered the Werk Room, she followed the sound of my wailing sobs, assuming it was still Daya crying about being safe. Thankfully she was relieved to see me, her dear friend, instead and pulled me in for a massive hug. I explained that she was such a kind, bright spark this season and after also losing Kornbread but a week earlier, I was struggling with my emotions. Turning the tables, she reminded me that she is a sickening queen and that being eliminated does not change that. Plus, she will have a hell of a run on All Stars. As such, she took me over to the grill and with a laugh, was delighted to see a very Guy Fieri inspired Maddy Mormemphosis Burger awaiting her.

A little bit smokey, with some creamy-tang thrown in by way of the slaw, this burger is the perfect, quick pick-me-up. Add in some bacon and well, I simply don’t know how this one doesn’t leave you with a smile.

Enjoy!

Maddy Mormemphosis Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
500g beef mince
1 small onion, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
½ tsp smoke essence
salt and pepper, to taste
olive oil, for brushin’
8 slices streaky bacon
4 slices American Cheese
4 Briocher Bünsbergs
¼ cup Shayonnaise Swain
¼ cup barbecue sauce
1-2 cups Benjamin Slaw

Method
Place the beef mince, onion, garlic, Worcestershire and smoke essence in a bowl with a good whack of salt and pepper. Scrunch together with your hands until well combined before dividing into four patties. Place on a lined plate, cover with cling and pop in the fridge to chill for an hour or so.

When you’re ready to go, heat a skillet over medium heat and once nice and hot, cook the bacon until golden and crisp. Remove from the pan to drain on some paper towel before adding a lug of oil to just coat the base – you may not need much, given the bacon should be fatty. Add the burgers and cook for a couple of minutes before flipping and cooking for a further couple of minutes. Pop a slice of cheese on each pattie and cook for a further minute or so, or until melted.

To assemble, smear mayo on the base of the buns, followed by a patty, two slices of bacon, barbecue sauce to taste and then a heaping of slaw.

Serve immediately with a side of fries and devour.


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Jaypricot Bruno Jam

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Blood V Water, Condiment, Sauce, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor, Sophie made waves after joining the Water tribe – geddit? I’m here all week – spitting fire about Sam to her husband. At the reward challenge, she doubled down on her rage where she beat up Sam in scenes reminiscent of the ‘stop stop, he’s already dead’ moment in The Simpsons. Nina once again beat up Sandra to win the reward for the Water tribe, which was a cheese player that they had to enjoy at the Blood tribe. In front of the losers. This gave Sophie the opportunity to rage at her former allies and then Sam, for allegedly turning everyone against her. The next day Ben won immunity for the Blood Tribe all by his lonesome sending Water back to tribal council. While Sophie was the obvious target, her sister KJ hatched a plan to blindside Khanh instead while he was distracted. Turns out there was a bigger blindside on the cards however as Alex quit the game due to his injured back.

The next day the Blood tribe were lazing about in the water as Jesse joked about how he isn’t sunburnt but instead was just feeling super rosy. We then got a supercut of Jesse living his best life around camp and absolutely delighting his tribe and ugh, Jesse is my king. Despite also being young enough to be my child in an early-teenage pregnancy situation. I’m not good with maths, but I’m guessing I would have had to have been a father at 12. So unlikely, but possible. In theory.

But I’ve digressed.

We checked in with the Water tribe where Mark was regaling KJ with tales of life in the army or overthinking things at tribal council? I honestly got confused by the trajectory of their conversation. Sophie reminded us that against all odds she is still in the game and is still glad to be reunited with her sister. While Alex quit the game and ruined their plans at the last tribal council, Sophie realised that as Khanh is still one of the biggest threats it may actually be better to team up with him than vote him out. Sadly for her, he had no interest and immediately reported back to Josh and Jordie that Sophie came to him to announce his idol was going to be flushed and he would be voted out immediately after her, should he not join forces with her.

Oh and she reiterated doesn’t want to ruin KJ’s position in the game, despite her chaos.

Over at the Blood tribe, a lizard was wandering around camp and creeping out Sandra before talk turned to what they thought happened at the last tribal council. With everyone hoping Sophie was sent packing for good this time. Sandra regaled us with tales of her previous experiences in the game, talking about how much harder the conditions are in the Australian outback. She also reminded us that the only times she has been voted out have been on Day 16 and as such, the closer it gets to that day the more stressed she becomes.

But using that logic, should she make it to Day 17, she is either winning. Or at the very least, being booted on Day 39. So yay!

Sandra caught up with Sam, Amy and Michelle by the well, talking about who they should vote out one of the boys with Sandra trying to push to get rid of Dave given he wrote her name down before. Sadly for her though, nobody was interested in that. Plus, it was actually Sam who voted for her. Back at camp, Sandra asked Dave why they were enemies before joking about the curse that forces people that write her name down to lose the game and as such, he should regret his previous choices.

Which actually means Sam should regret it. And won’t win. 

Being close with Dave, Amy didn’t want to lose a potential ally and as such, pulled him aside to warn him and float the idea of getting rid of Sandra instead. As they joined up with Jay in the water, Sandra, Sam and Michelle watched on from the hammock and quickly identified the trio as the current biggest threat and suggested they vote them out back-to-back-to-back. Knowing they need numbers to execute that plan, Sandra and Michelle caught up with the alpha males to float the idea of splitting up said power trio and while Croc knew it was a good idea, he also wasn’t confident enough in his position to trust it. We then heard more about Croc, learning he applied to Survivor to get back his sense of purpose after retiring from the NRL and finally secure an individual win, rather than one as part of a team.

Speaking of teams, the tribes caught up with Jonathan for the reward challenge where water filled Blood in on the circumstances surrounding Alex’s exit. As for the challenge, they would work in trios to run down a ramp and into the water to wrestle for a football with the one to get it back up their ramp scoring a point for their tribe. For a club sandwich, which is fitting given our speedo kings of yore. In the first round, Mark, Josh and Jordie faced off against Croc, Jesse and Ben, the two latter looking glorious in their speedos as per usual. The entire round was chaos as everyone wrestled and tossed their ball with Chrissy screaming at Jordie to just get up the ramp and wait, which ended up securing their win.

Round two was Nina, Chrissy and Sophie against Amy, Michelle and Sandra with Nina continuing her winning streak against her mum, scoring the second point for Water despite Amy nearly breaking away with the ball. Jordan, David and Jay were up next against Mark, Khanh and Josh with Jordan and his speedo once again starring as he tackled anyone and everything, allowing Dave to score a point for Blood. Croc, Jesse and Jordan were up next, facing off against Mark, Jordie and Josh and once again my speedo kings were absolutely ferocious, however sadly, they couldn’t land their ball and instead Water took out yet another victory.

Back at camp the tribe were thrilled to discover they had each won a club sandwich, rather than having to split one which is what I assumed was the situation for some reason. Everyone quickly grabbed their snacks and juice while Khanh gave them the foodie description of their sangas. We then got a supercut of everyone near orgasming as they feasted on their sandwiches, with Mark thrilled to finally have time to pause and think through what is next for the tribe. While he still thinks getting rid of Khanh is critical, Sophie’s volatility is more concerning for him and as such he felt she needed to go first. He then flipped a table to check if there was an idol clue under it, sadly not in homage to Teresa Giudice.

Meanwhile over at the Blood tribe, they were talking shit about the sandwiches to try and make themselves feel better about their loss. Jordan tried to remind them not to stress and instead focus on winning immunity. Not wanting to wait however, Sandra, Michelle and Sam ventured back to the hammock and continued with their plans to get rid of Dave. While Amy, Dave and Jay went hunting for idols. Right in front of the tribe. Spooked, Sandra got up and joined the hunt with Amy, Michelle and Sam spotting a red pole near a tree at the same time. Yet somehow, Amy managed to spot the idol and knock it off without anyone seeing her. Begging the question, how? Like, HOW?

The tribes joined up with Jonathan for the latest immunity challenge where they would each have to swim out to a cliff, climb up a net, release a ball and then race it back to the start to shoot into a basket with the first team to five winning immunity. Jordie got Water out to the earliest of leads, however Michelle managed to close the gap as she scored the basket quickly at the other end. Add in Ben speeding through the water, he managed to catch up with Josh. While Water continued to have more time shooting their baskets, Blood always managed to close the gap until Khanh tired in the water and allowed Sam to overtake him while Khanh struggled more and more in the water. Sadly, Sandra struggled with the basket allowing KJ to take back the lead for the tribe once Khanh delivered the ball. While Croc started to close the gap again on his swim, he struggled on the netting allowing Shay to extend Water’s lead as Mark joined Croc in the water. Mark then whipped through the course, before  Nina scored the final point and secured immunity for Water.

The medics were then called in to check on Croc as Chrissy went into mummy mode, coaching him through his breathing and making sure he was ok. The NRL great then spoke about how he didn’t want to let his team down with everyone assuring him, they love him and he should be proud of his performance. Because that challenge was brutal.

Back at camp Sam tried to perk everyone back up, reminding them the other tribe are well fed while they are not. After that, things quickly descended into chaos as the hammock crew returned to rocking before locking in their vote for Dave. As such, Sandra then approached Croc to woo back the alpha male alliance, while Sam worked on Jesse and Jordan. And while everyone readily agreed to boot Dave, we also have way too long left of the episode, so something has to give.

Amy meanwhile was already feeling the paranoia that comes with having an idol before approaching Jay to loop him in on her fears that Sandra has turned the tribe against Dave. As such, Amy approached the alpha boys to talk about voting out Sandra instead, particularly because she plays a great under the radar game and the longer she lasts, the more fearsome she gets. Amy, Jay and Dave all split up to lock in the votes for Sandra, though Amy knew that there would be major problems should they try and take a shot at Sandra and miss. Meanwhile Croc, Ben and Jordan were relishing their role as the swing votes, weighing up whether booting Sandra or Dave would be better for the long term games. 

Back at the hammock however, Sandra, Sam and Michelle continued to strategise with the latter confessing that she spotted Amy finding her hidden immunity idol and floated the idea of switching the vote to get rid of her instead. Which Sandra was obviously all in on.

Sandra then approached the alphas again to loop them in on the new information, suggesting they split the vote between Amy and Jay instead to force Amy to flush her idol. While everyone quickly agreed to the plan, Jordan immediately went to Amy to tell her that everyone knows about her idol and as such, told her that she needs to play it tonight otherwise she is going home. While Amy continued to push for Sandra to go, she followed up with Sam, Jesse and Jay to loop them in on the new plan. Ben soon joined them and assured her that he, Jesse and Sam are all with her and will be voting out Sandra tonight.

While Sandra was making jokes about checking how to spell ‘Amy’ before deciding Jonathan will figure it out if she gets it wrong.

At tribal council Jordan spoke about how brutal the challenge was, Ben opened up about being blindsided at last tribal council, though Jordan agreed that getting rid of his ally did create more harmony in camp. Talk turned to the post-challenge scramble with Michelle opening up about how chaotic things were, with Sandra agreeing that everything changes on a dime. She then went in talking about how Amy and Jay who would usually speak to her ignored her all afternoon and as such, she knows she is going to be getting votes. She reminded them it was a better idea to keep people happy and thinking they were safe because otherwise, you can’t pull off a blindside.

Sam spoke about tribal council always being complicated, though looked at Sandra and assured her that she would be doing what she said. Amy tried to defend not talking to Sandra before the latter pushed her to admit that she had an idol. While Croc reminded her not to ever tell anyone when they have an idol, Amy admitted she didn’t tell anyone, as her allies looked on in shock. Jay tried to get everyone to focus on making a vote to keep things unified, while Sam felt there would finally be a line in the sand while Croc was just hoping to build some trust. Oh and Jay was confident there would be another blindside.

With that, the tribe voted and Amy (needlessly) played her idol for herself, negating the three votes against her while three piled up on Sandra before the rest all landed on Jay and sent him out of the game. With a different blindside to the one he was expecting.

Like Sam Schoers before him, Jay didn’t have a lot to say on the TV side of things but off the show, he is an absolute delight. And was playing such a strong game. As soon as he walked into Loser Lodge, I scooped him up in my arms and then realised I have zero upper body strength to lift him. Instead, I gave him a hug and then tried to sweeten his post-boot pain with some Jaypricot Bruno Jam.

Yeah, yeah, jam is jam. But you truly haven’t lived until you’ve made it at home, complete with the freshest produce. Sticky and sweet, the lemon is the super power, cutting through to give you a glorious mouthful of flavour.

Enjoy!

Jaypricot Bruno Jam
Makes: 4-6 cups.

Ingredients
1kg ripe apricots
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 cup water
4 cups raw caster sugar

Method
Halve apricots and remove stones before popping them in a saucepan with the lemon zest and juice, and water. Bring to the boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes, or until tender.

Take off the lid and stir in the sugar until dissolved. Again, bring to a boil and cook, uncovered, for half an hour, or until thick and jammy. But not too thick, given it will firm up as it comes to temperature.

Remove from the heat and leave to rest for five minutes before pouring into hot, sterilised jars to cool. Seal when cold. Or devour all at once, though that would be too much for even me.


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Charribiata Kaseta

Main, Pasta, RuPaul's Drag Race UK, RuPaul's Drag Race UK 3, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Drag Race UK, poor Victoria was withdrawn from the competition due to a dodgy knee like Eureka before her. The dolls had no time to process the tragedy as they were tasked with going to camp on the runway. Sweet Veronica coached everyone to get their looks over the line, sadly cutting her nose off to spite her face with a sloppy, unfinished look. While Scarlett slayed and took out victory, Vanity once again landed in the bottom, this time opposite Veronica who fought valiantly, but was ultimately felled by the lip sync assassin.

The dolls were shell shocked as they returned to the Werk Room, heartbroken that Veronica’s kindness proved her undoing. Despite this, the dolls were proud of Vanity’s lip sync and praised her for being just as talented as Veronica. Charity led the girls in congratulating Scarlett on her win, though Scarlett was disappointed that her win was partly because Veronica helped her make her look. Choriza spoke about the disappointment of seeing Veronica go home so soon, while Vanity wished it had been Choriza in the bottom in Veronica’s place.

The next day Scarlett was thrilled to join the victorious badged twink army, with the dolls just happy that she is finally open to receiving praise. Vanity asked River how she plans to stand out, with the girls questioning her passion for the competition and ugh, I hate to see my faves Scarlett and River fight. Kitty and Choriza meanwhile were looking forward to join the badge club while Vanity was just gagging to top once in the competition.

Ru arrived to announce that this week the dolls will be forming two girl groups for the ultimate UK challenge. Scarlet as the winner and Vanity of the victorious survivor were tasked as team captains, with Scarlett, Kitty, Charity and Krystal forming one girl group while Vanity, Ella, River and Choriza were their rivals. Each group would perform different remixes of the new hit song, BDE – Big Drag Energy – with one group going up tempo, while the others got the power bottom remix. As the winner of the previous challenge, Scarlett was the one that got to listen to both remixes and pick which one she wanted for her team. Oh and the dolls would be judged by Queen, Icon, Legend – Baby Bunton!

As the dolls split up, Scarlett listened to the remixes and quickly selected the up tempo number for her team. She then rallied her crew and quickly explained that  she chose them to offer a range of diversity, while team Vanity were just desperate to prove everyone wrong and I love it. While the up tempo dolls lived for their Spice Girls-esque number, they were laughing about how shit the power bottom version is while Ella, Vanity, River and Choriza were living their best life, ready to take the win. And with the name Pick’n’Mix, how can they go wrong?

The other dolls locked in the name Slice Girls before the dolls were gagged by the arrival of freakin’ STEPS. On the Steps. They then announced that they were tasked with helping the dolls record their songs and learning their choreo for their debut performance. And ugh, UK, hun indeed.

The Slice Girls were up first recording their song with Kitty slaying from start to finish while Scarlett, girl, she struggled. Bad. Then Krystal, well, she couldn’t find a key. Not a one, before Charity jumped in and was demented and creepy and so damn charming, in an evil witch from Snow White kinda way. Pick’n’Mix didn’t do much better as Ella’s nerves took her out of her West End star roots, Vanity though slayed a damn rap about race – QUEEN – while River was cute and sweet, with old zaddy Steps talking about how much her lyrics will change lives. River then spoke about how H was that for her, breaking down and ugh, I love her so much. Ditto twofold Choriza, who served the most demented rap and I love it.

On to the choreography with Slice Girls as Kitty took the lead and while she tried to keep it simple yet impactful, Charity encouraged her to make it more impressive. Despite not being able to walk in time. Again Pick’n’Mix slayed the rehearsal, wait, no, they had no idea what they were doing, expecting Steps to give them their, well, steps. That being said, I am hoping it is a fake out given Vanity and Ella really hit their stride, bouncing off each other while River and Choriza were living their best lives. Particularly when River suggested they lean into the camp of a good old power ballad.

Elimination Day arrived with Pick’n’Mix quickly getting to work getting a consistent look, while Slice Girls were just happy to serve a touch of metallic. Ella and River caught up about their lyrics, sharing how much it means to them to get their stories out with River reliving her mother’s death from COVID and ugh, again, I love River so damn much. 

As Ru, Michelle, Alan and Baby Bunton took their places on the judges panel, the Slice Girls took the stage and well, they slayed. Krystal hit every move, Charity was demented and high-energy, Scarlett though started to miss her lyrics and damn, it makes me worry for my favourite twink. Though given how amazing Kitty was, maybe she won’t have to worry? Vanity meanwhile was just confused by everything they did as they sat backstage. And well, given how damn GOOD Pick’n’Mix were, I understand the shade. Ella hit all of the notes, Vanity was perfection, River served all the emotion and well Choriza was Choriza which is the ultimate compliment. I mean, Ella’s facial expressions and the cheesy choreo was totally Choriza. Aka perfection.

On the Night of 1000 Spice Girls runway, Krystal slayed as a baby blue Baby Spice and ugh, she is good. Charity gave sexy Scary Spice by way of Nina Bonina Brown, Kitty gave a glamorous, angelic reunion tour Baby Bunton. Scarlett was total Scary in a lime mini, Ella was a sequined delight as wannabe Sporty Spice. River slayed as an all red Ginger, complete with Stop routine. Vanity too rocked Scary, but made it CEO while Ginger was stunning in Union Jack realness.

Rightly Pick’n’Mix took out victory and were sent to untuck before the Sliceys got their critiques. Krystal received her usual universal praise, while Michelle wished she could have given more in the lyrics. Charity was read for wearing blue when everyone else was silver and white, though Alan loved that she was the rebel of the group. Her lyrics were deemed challenging at times, though her runway was praised for killing the game despite not being Mel B. At all. Kitty received universal praise; from the lyrics to the energy to her looks, the judges ate everything up. And ugh, poor Scarlett was read for filth and she knew it before it even happened. Though Michelle did try and encourage her, reminding her to stay confident and stay focused on the task at hand.

Backstage the winners were gloriously toasting their success before they realised that all the past winners had landed in the bottom this week. Choriza read Scarlett for picking the cool, girls, given they managed to bring more diverse flavour. The Slice Girls arrived backstage with Scarlett and Charity sure that they would be lip syncing tonight, with the latter heartbroken that her vibe isn’t coming through with the judges. River encouraged her to focus on her talent and not get bothered, while Kitty was just giddy to have spoken to Baby Spice despite being in the bottom. Choriza then threw some shade at Scarlett for not picking her, with Krystal admitting that she sees her as a massive threat. While Scarlett apologised repeatedly for landing her team in the bottom.

Ultimately Krystal and Kittty were sent to safety, leaving Charity and Scarlett to battle it out to the Spice Girls’ iconic anthem, Who Do You Think You Are. And holy shit balls, was it amazing. Both the dolls had every lyric down, Charity was totally demented, Scarlett had the camp and well, it was a show and I was here for every damn minute. So I was thrilled to learn that both of the dolls were safe and would live to fight another day.

Backstage the dolls were gagged by the double shantay with Scarlett thrilled to still be there, while Charity was glad to show what she does best after a string of being safe. She spoke about struggling with the negative critiques but assured them that she was here to fight, while Scarlett felt like her stint in the bottom lit a fire in her belly. Oh and Kitty was ready to finally get a badge, hopeful that an acting or comedy challenge was coming up so that she could finally prove herself

The next day Scarlett was feeling nice and spicy, ready for a rebirth while the rest of the girls were dragging her about staying at the back of the pack. She was given a reprieve by the return of RuPaul who tasked the dolls with doing it doggy style by pairing up with their best bitch to prove they are best in show. With one half getting into doggy quick drag and the other coming as their handler. Choriza and River were up first in RuPaul’s Dog Race with Choriza hilariously aggressive, Kitty was bouncing boobs and all charm as she walked Charity through the course, Krystal wanted to speak to the manager while putting Scarlett through her paces, while Ella confused her sit and shit commands from Vanity.

Scarlett and Krystal took out victory, making them team captains as the dolls filmed commercials to promote Ru’s in-home personal assistant, Draglexa. Team Scarlett featured Kitty, Choriza and Ella while Krystal was joined by River, Vanity and Charity. With that, Ru disappeared and the teams quickly split up and got to work. Scarlett opted to take the lead to redeem herself until she learned that Choriza’s degree was in advertising, which made her happily hand the reins to her. Over at Team Krystal, Charity felt nobody was taking the lead in the challenge so started throwing out concepts and project managed the entire thing, and I’m so proud of her. While back with Team Choriza, she was disappointed by Scarlett’s ideas but was willing to listen to everyone before making aggressive cuts. Which isn’t relevant, but is hilarious.

Oh and Krystal and Charity threw down over how funny the latter’s ideas are and ugh, I worry for my love Charity.

Ru made a ru-turn, first catching up with Team Krystal where Charity shared that she was shocked to be so stuck in her head in the competition. But after a quick pep-talk from Ru, she was ready for her badge. Ru had the dolls, well herself, laughing about how she has never done her own make-up. We then swapped teams with the dolls coming prepared with a storyboard before they made Ru nervous about their choice to have multiple different Draglexa voices. Oh and Choriza’s memoir will be called Bumpy Padding, Dirty Tights AND has a meaty tuck on account of her UGE penis. Which again, is important.

After RuPaul left Team Krystal started to fall apart as they tried to get ready, while Charity was stuck writing the script on her lonesome.

Team Scarlett were first to film with Michelle with Kitty charming, even while taking a shit and despite the commercial not making a lick of sense. Sadly though, the broader situation appeared to be an absolute mess. Which either means it will be hilarious or the group are all lip syncing. Charity was feeling very anxious as Team Krystal tapped out to film and well, it didn’t go much better as Charity took over to try and give them direction which only upset the rest of her team.

Elimination Day rolled around with Kitty and Scarlett bonding as the latter opened up about being raised by a sick mother and how their relationship was stressed by the fact they also had no money. She admitted that she and her mum are now close and she is supportive of her, though her mum has COPD which is at the point that it will kill her. And now she is suffering under the regret of wasting time fighting. And ugh, watching her cry breaks my damn heart.

Ru, Michelle and Alan were joined by Leigh-Anne Pinnock from Little Mix as the dolls showed off their Expenny-Henny Runways with Ella going Tony Award chique and looking an absolute delight. Scarlett was full frosty CEO, Kitty was STUNNING in a coin draped nude allusion and Choriza was a big shot at the casino n the most delgihtfully, demented Western Cowgirl way. Krystal was glittering, coated from head to toe in crystals – LIKE HER NAME – before River stole the damn show in a gorgeous red and gold South East Asian inspired gown. Charity meanwhile looked like the richest museum gargoyle, while Vanity too was dropping Krystals. 

When it came to the commercials, Team Scarlett were up first and while it wasn’t a mess, it also wasn’t very funny. Despite how hard they tried, particularly Ella. As Kitty laughed at the end of their commercial, the judges were silent if it gives you any idea. Team Krystal didn’t fare any better with River being the only one to have any charm.

This obviously infuriated Ru, who read all the dolls for filth, calling them out for being bland and beige, announcing that for the first time in Drag Race herstory, there will be no winner but assured them that there will still be a bottom two with a doll going home. Team Scarlett’s commercial was read for filth, though Ella was praised for trying her best and giving a killer look on the runway. Despite Michelle hating her wig. Scarlett was read for being predictable and bland, and the judges felt her outfit was just there. Kitty meanwhile was praised for delivering her lines well and looking great on the runway, as was Choriza but again she was praised for her charm rather than anything in particular.

AND THEN MICHELLE outlined a far better commercial in a matter of seconds.

When it came to Team Krystal, their captain was praised for going all in despite a complete lack of jokes. Both of River’s outfits received universal praise but the judges wished they saw more of her in the ad. Charity was praised for continually bringing killer looks, while Michelle desperately wanted her to show some diversity. While Vanity was praised for her commitment in the challenge and being an absolute babe, despite the fact the judges have no idea who she is.

Ru then decided to rub salt in the collective wounds, asking the girls to identify who should go home this week with Ella wanting to boot Charity for her negative mood despite receiving compliments. Scarlett too wanted Charity gone for her attitude, while Kitty was ready to get rid of Vanity due to her track record. The rest of the dolls then piled up on Scarlett, which led to Scarlett throwing out her jokes that didn’t make it into the commercial. Krystal felt Scarlett didn’t fight hard enough in the last lip sync while the rest were just annoyed by her attitude.

Backstage things got dramatic as the dolls tried to talk it out with Scarlett who looked ready to cut a bitch, refusing to acknowledge them. Ella apologised to Charity with the latter pointing out that pointing out that she is down on herself isn’t exactly motivating or a compliment. As everyone tried to say that they all had to pick someone and it was all ok, leading to Scarlett pointing out that the vast majority want her gone. And then as everyone tried to explain themselves, she stormed off, completely over it. While Choriza understood that she was angry, she also felt that storming off wouldn’t change anything. Scarlett returned and shared that she has struggled to build relationships throughout her life and while everyone tried to assure her that they love her and want to be her friend, it was not happening as they split up to learn the lip sync.

Ultimately Ella, Kitty, Chorizo, Krystal and River were deemed safe, with Vanity joining them after Ru implored her to step her pussy up. That meant we were blessed with the exact same bottom two as the week before, this time featuring the dolls lip syncing to the ICONIC Big Spender. Charity served Disney villain realness in the absolute best way possible, while Scarlett went balls to the wall with a full Broadway serving of CAMP. And ugh, why does UK serve such killer songs for their lip syncs?! While they both fought valiantly, it was Scarlett who lived to fight another day as the supremely talented Charity Kase was shown the door. Complete with a Wicked Witch melt on her way out.

Barely having time to recover from her death-shrieks, I grabbed Charity on the way and pulled her in for a massive hug. While I agree – don’t kill me Ru – that the judges slept on her talents throughout the season, I am not one of them and heaped praise on all that she brought to the season. And that isn’t even due to her penchant for flashing her buns on the runway. So after the requisite laughing, crying and bonding, I whipped up a big batch of Charribiata Kaseta.

Yeah, yeah – this is one of the most basic pasta sauces, pulled together with a bunch of leftover pasta. But I mean, how can you even go wrong with chilli and tomato. Despite its simplicity, this baby packs a bunch and is guaranteed to turn your mood around.

Enjoy!

Charribiata Kaseta
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
5 garlic cloves, minced
3 small red chillies, finely chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
800g canned diced tomatoes
2 tsp raw caster sugar
salt and pepper, to taste
500g mixed dried pasta, cooked
½ cup grated parmesan cheese, plus extra to serve

Method
While the pasta water is coming to the boil, heat he oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and saute the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add the chillies and tomato paste and cook for a further couple of minutes. Add the tomatoes and sugar, stir and simmer for fifteen minutes, or until starting to thicken.

Once the sauce is cooked, season and fold through the parmesan.

Serve, cover with more parmesan and devour. Giddily.


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Mitchroom Shawiss Burger

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn, Burgers, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor poor George was still left right out despite a string of hero moments in the last couple of immunity challenges. Though thankfully for him, he did manage to find a hidden immunity idol despite Baden finding the clue hidden away at camp. At the immunity challenge Benny became the bane of everyone’s existence due to moving letters – which were incorrect anyway, as an aside – and as such, Simon quickly turned everyone against him. After Big D flipped to the other side in the first round, Shannon and Queen Kez joined their rivals to boot Benny from the game.

We kicked things off at the Brawn tribe where the group were living their best lives as Gerald served his sexiest model poses. All while Simon looked on, heartbroken that he is no longer the zaddy of the tribe. While Gerald was feeling irritated that Shannon flipped the night before, he assured us that he was still loyal to his majority alliance and as such, just wanted Simon to chill out with the grumps and keep things as jovial as possible. That being said, Gerald was also committed to keeping an eye on Simon, given he is clearly on the hunt for an idol and as such, the majority can’t afford to let him get it. Sadly for Simon, as soon as he spotted the idol he was under the watchful eyes of Flick and Kez, so he couldn’t make a grab for it yet. 

Though mere moments later, fate clearly intervened as they left and he returned to the tree where it was hidden, grabbed it and was buoyed by hope.

Over at camp Brains, Joey was thrilled to hit double digits though was desperate to score a reward for their tribe given he is so overwhelmed by hunger. That being said, he is sitting pretty in the tribe and doesn’t have to worry about getting the boot and as such, he assured us that he can persevere. We then learnt he works in finance, but that means nothing because he planned to go to the next challenge in drag, wearing his buff as a top and as such, my basement is flooded and I’m questioning everything I know.

The tribes met up with my love Jonathan for the reward challenge which would see them log-roll for a bountiful feast of toasties. Which immediately had the Brains dripping, but hopefully that translates to dripping back at camp as they jaff things up. First to face off were Flick and Hayley with the latter once again defeating a professional athlete in a challenge to give the Brains a lead. Sadly that was it for Brains domination as Emmett destroyed Andrew – who ended up cracking his nads on the log on the way out before Simon straight up challenged Joey to the next round and quickly destroyed him. That left Dani to defeat Cara for the win, which she did though not because she tried to scare her off the log Scooby Doo style.

Back at the Brawns camp the tribe were thrilled to see their newest loot and giddy to get down to whipping up their sandie jays. None were happier than Simon though, given he was sitting pretty with an idol AND then found a second one in their reward as he collected hessian sacks that he could use for fishing. He was confident nobody saw him and returned to camp to smugly eat the sandwich as King Gerald shared with us that he saw the entire thing play out. The rest of the tribe meanwhile fried up their toasties while Daini worried whether he should feel bad for the Brains, rather than protesting a lockdown and making the COVID situation worse.

Speaking of the Brains, George and Cara were bonding over their upbeat vibes while Baden grew tired of being hungry. And you know, the fact that he couldn’t find the idol he has a clue for since he is currently riding solo just like George. If only the duo put their differences aside, aligned and got to work taking over the game. And reading my mind, George decided now was the time to check in with Baden and as such, caught up with him by the billabong to see how he was feeling. As they cracked it out doing yoga, George shared that he had found the idol without a clue and while Baden was glad to be put out of his misery, he was more grateful that George shared intel with him and as such, he too has hope in the game.

My beloved Jonathan met up with the tribes once again where this time they had to race to release a series of balls, catch them, play skee ball, carry it through a mud pit and then land it in a suspended pyramid. And Brains, there is no puzzle, so I worry you’re in danger. That being said, Brains got out to a 5-2 advantage in the ball section of the challenge, so maybe I’m wrong again. Wait, nope. While they were first to get to the skee ball section, Brawn took the lead as George struggled to land his ball. While they eventually got to the final apparatus, they were no match for Brawn who finally snagged their second immunity challenge win with minimal competition.

Back at camp the Brains were heartbroken to have another immunity loss and while George was feeling the heat since he single handedly lost the challenge,  he has the idol so was completely unbothered by things. And since the rest of the tribe are focused on taking him and only him out, this isn’t ending well for someone else. Joey meanwhile was confident in his numbers and well, Joey girl, you in danger I guess. He caught up with his allies by the water and quickly locked in the vote for George, while George decided to get politicking, quickly pulling a counter alliance together against Andrew, Joey, Georgia and Laura.

As the rest of the tribe bonded by the fire, George disappeared to go get water and then returned to camp wearing his immunity idol in an iconic, bold move. As everyone started to shit their pants. While everyone tried to act confident that he may not play the idol, he lay in the sun waiting for someone to come and talk to him. While they sat in camp mocking his move. With that, George instead pulled Cara and Wai aside to talk about voting for Joey or Laura. Cara opted to go and try woo Rachael and Hayley, while the cool kids suggested Mitch was a good option to vote out instead. Given he is so focused on being the leader, which is something they don’t want to deal with.

The four then approached Rachel to woo her on side and while Rach was keen, she was also listed as fifth at best before they got to her and that feels obvious. She then caught up with George, who quickly got the politician hat on, assuring her that this is the time to prove loyalty to each other and to show trust. While Rachel was just thrilled to be the swing vote with Hayley, as they appeared to prefer to get the vote off Laura and instead on to someone else. But I’m often wrong, so prepare for Laura to be savagely booted despite us never getting to know her.

At tribal council George was still rocking the idol with an open shirt look and was almost selling it, while Joey was still cranking up the energy to an 11 just like Kate Ceberano in a radio interview (another story for another time). He did admit that things started to get nervous at camp, while Rachel agreed that coming to tribal is a chance to see where everyone stands. Laura admitted there are personality clashes in the tribe, while Cara countered by saying the relationships are fluid and that people continue to evolve. Joey disagreed and said that there are definitely firm names assigned to the alliances, with Rach agreeing things were happening while Mitch felt that his relationships are post-alliance. Which is never a great thing to think in Survivor.

Rachel admitted that the length of time between their first vote and now has complicated things while George charmingly pretended that he didn’t have an idol before reminding everyone that the vote is about drawing a line in the sand and as such, they need to trust who they trust and just embrace it. Mitch reiterated that George is pretty much off the table, while Joey suggested that he doesn’t care about George wanting to make another tribal council about him despite feeling nervous about the power of the idol. Joey then got savage talking about how George saved five people at the first tribal but somehow ended up with no allies and as such, he wasn’t concerned about anything George tries to pull off.

Though George gave zero Fs, given he is playing the game differently to other people and therefore doesn’t care about Joey’s shade. Wai questioned whether the idol would get played while Rachel didn’t worry whether George would play his idol. While George just wanted Jonathan to acknowledge his body-ody-ody. Before Hayley reiterated that trust is all that anyone cares about and as such, that is what it is about tonight. And Andrew just wanted everyone to get along.

With that, the tribe voted, George played his idol – needlessly, might I add – as four votes landed on Laura and the rest on Dr Mitch, sending him from the game. Much to his confusion, shock and the shady commentary about the brutal blindside from Geroge. As Mitch cussed him out as he exited tribal council, unaware that George had nothing to do with the vote.

By the time Mitch arrived in my arms at loser lodge he was a little less angry, I assume because he got to see me, his dear Brisbane friend. You see, I was pretending to lecture as medical school when Mitch was training and while I was swiftly fired in shame, Mitch saw me as the broken person that I am and as such, tried to look out for me. Which eventually developed into a friendship. Aka a tale as old as time. Anyway, I knew that Mitch would be fanging for some comfort after his brutal blindside and as such, whipped up a big batch of our traditional Mitchroom Shawiss Burgers.

I had never thought of popping a mushie on a burger – unless it was the vego star of the dish, obvi – until I experienced the magic, beauty of Five Guys. A glorious place where bags are topped with fries and you get to decide every single element you can add on a burger. And lets just say, mushies, swiss and some onions are a near perfect trio to elevate a burg.

Enjoy!

Mitchroom Shawiss Burger
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, sliced
1 cup button mushrooms, roughly chopped
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
4 Briocher Bünsberg
⅓ cup Shayonnaise Swain
4-8 slices swiss cheese

Method
In a small saucepan, heat a lug of olive oil over medium heat. Once hot, add the onions and sweat for about ten minutes, or until soft, sweet and caramelised. Reduce heat to low and keep warm, adding dashes of water if they start to catch.

Meanwhile, heat another lug of olive oil in another saucepan or frying pan and once hot, add the mushrooms. Cook for a couple of minutes, or until the mushrooms release all their liquid and suck it back up again.

When you’re almost ready to eat, scrunch the mince in your hands and then form into 4 hockey pucks. Brush the remaining oil in a large frying pan over high heat. Once scorching, sprinkle salt and pepper on the tops of the patties and add seasoned side down in the pan. Immediately flatten with a metal spatula until 1cm thickness and immediately season the other side of the patties. After a couple of minutes, flip the patties, top with swiss cheese and cook for another minute or so until they’re the desired doneness.

To assemble, toast the inside of the buns, spread each side with some mayo, top with the cheesy patty, some onion and the mushroom.

Then devour, greedily.


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Etcetera Etceteraspberry Crumble Ice Cream

Dessert, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under 1, Sweets, TV, TV Recap

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, Art made a semi-triumphant return to the competition by way of a literal heap of trash. Which coincided with the fact that this week’s Maxi Challenge, the queens were tasked with rummaging through the trash and assembling a glamorous look. More importantly, Elektra grew tired of Scarlet’s arrogance and general shadiness, though tragically the confidence wasn’t misplaced as she secured her second victory. At the other end of the pack, Karen was read for bringing a costume and sweet Anita for being sloppy. Then tragedy struck, as the iconic and delightful Anita exited the competition. Erroneously, in my not humble opinion.

Backstage the remaining queens joined me in sobbing over the loss of Anita, with Karen rightly pointing out that she is so damn nice that, no doubt, she is more proud of the rest of the girls for surviving rather than focusing on the disappointment. Karen shared how emotional it feels to send someone home before checking in with Anita’s bestie Kita to make sure she was ok. Kita assured her that she is fine and ready to send everyone home, particularly since all the Aussie queens think they only made the cast when filming pivoted to NZ last minute (I take this as proof that we shouldn’t be hating on the set, since the studio was thrown together at short notice due to COVID). And given how shady my love Etcetera was about Kita probably feeling guilty to have beaten her friend despite not doing as well, those Kiwi girls are right to want to bring us all down and prove them Au-ssies wrong.

And damn, this is a storyline that is peaking my interest.

The next day the group were far more cohesive and ready to slay, with Kita disappointed Anita didn’t take her up on the offer to ride her coattails when they arrived. Etcetera praised Art for surviving her second week, before Elektra checked in with Etcetera to see why she was pressed like a panini for getting negative critiques. As her defence, she continued to read Kita’s outfit, before Kita countered that while her outfit seemingly has so many flaws, it is still better than hers. Burn.

The dolls were interrupted by Ru who dropped by to open the library for the first Down Under reading challenge. And damn, please let it be as sweet as the Pit Crew’s cakes because they are fine. Etcetera was first and made no sense, but I love her anyway. Karen gloriously read Kita for filth and quoted House Of Drag in the process. Kita followed and was a delight from start to finish as she destroyed each and every girl. Maxi said Scarlet only has something between her head when sucking cock, which is all you need to know as it was glorious. Art meanwhile stole the damn show with hilarious jokes from start to finish, complete with topical COVID reads about Elektra’s lack of taste. Scarlet meanwhile bombed as did Elektra, until Scarlet read herself for being bald and loose.

Obviously Art took out victory, much to Kita’s disappointment. But before we could delve deeper into it, Ru tasked the girls with creating and marketing their very own yeast spread for this week’s Maxi Challenge. Complete with commercials filmed with Michelle and infomercial queen, Suzanne Paul. You know, Suzanne Paul of THE Thin Lizzy. Immediately Karen was ready to go, thrilled to finally get a challenge that is right up her alley. She and Maxi were going very on brand for them, which is bawdy, annoying Etcetera who wanted them to show something different.

Kita congratulated Art on her victory, with Art admitting that she felt Kita was better than her. Though she was obviously thrilled to win. Talk returned to their yeast spread with Elektra focusing on getting Topped – a worthy focus – which made Etcetera nervous for her, given she is the least polished queen. She then pointed out to Karen that she should have this one in the bag, given she is the corporate queen amongst them.

With that Karen went straight to set to film her commercial with Suzanne and Michelle, with Suzanne immediately hating everything about it because the spread was called Discharge. Scarlet meanwhile had the duo chuckling with her smutty, filthy jokes. Art went with a spread to keep Americans away, and went deep into her head. Kita was wacky and delightful, mimicking Divine. Etcetera put the Pit Crew to the ultimate use, writhing across set and flooding my basement. Though sadly, that was the thing that made the most sense. Elektra arrived and was in full producer mode, hitting every mark and making sure she got everything she needed and damn, she was so charming in her element. Maxi was next and tragically riddled with nerves, despite looking absolutely stunning and immediately she bombed. Hard.

Elimination Day rolled around with Scarlet admitting that she was disappointed to have dropped from the top. While Maxi too knew that she didn’t do very well. They split up to get ready with Art asking if anyone has any regrets about their past performances with Elektra offering the first three runways before Scarlet opened about her many racism scandals. She shared how disgusted she is to have done blackface and saying horribly racist things, though Etcetera stepped in to totally school her on casual racism and explain why she needs to do more than atone and actually learn, grow and support the communities that she has hurt. And then Elektra rightly praised Etcetera for being such a beautiful, bright spark and admitted she gave her hope in future generations.

Ru, Michelle and Rhys were joined by Rena Owen on the panel for the Finest Sheila in the Bush runway, with Elektra serving sexy-glamour, in sheer black with a painted bald head. Kita was gorgeous in a bright butterfly number where NONE were even killed. Maxi was cute while surviving a picnic at Hanging Rock. Karen channeled Tina Burner before Art shut down the runway as Kath Day-Knight in a cork-covered Billy Porter reveal hat. Etcetera was a technicolour delight before revealing a gorgeous  post-fire black-stump inspired bodysuit. And then Scarlet slayed again in a Priscilla inspired lamé number.

When it came to the ads, Elektra gave Trixie as Ru before completely slaying her commercial and receiving universal praise for her performance and looking beautiful on the runway. Kita was polished and ridiculous in her commercial, with the judges living for everything she did and the fact that she is always giving them something new. Maxi was ridiculous and charming, though was read for struggling throughout filming and not going full horn bag. Ru admitted that she thought she would do better, before they all ignored her outfit. Karen meanwhile was read for not being big enough and just there, before winning Ru over after explaining her outfit as an acknowledgement of the community fire fighters and how government inaction on climate change is resting on their shoulders. 

Art was demented and smart, with the judges universally living for her Kath on the runway. And Etcetera had the Pit Crew presenting which was all I needed, despite the judges not loving her Piss offering. Scarlet meanwhile relied on American accents and the judges didn’t live for it, though loved everything about her Priscilla runway. What Ru didn’t love was Scarlet’s use of blackface, offering her the chance to address the photos going around on the line. She apologised and while most of us were likely wishing for Ru to cancel her – which she acknowledged – Ru shared that she would prefer for Scarlet to instead grow and better herself.

We then forwent Untucked as Scarlet and Kita were sent to safety, handing Elektra her first win of the season, much to her absolute delight. On the flipside, Maxi landed in the bottom before Art and Karen were sent to safety, leaving her to battle for safety against Etcetera. More importantly, said battle was to the icon herself, Vanessa Amorossi’s smash-hit Absolutely Everybody. Somehow Maxi manifested a sequin microphone and had everyone in stitches while Etcetera gave perfection in a more traditional lip sync. But let’s be honest, slaying the game and hitting every lyric can’t compete with turning Absolutely Everybody into a diva’s power ballad. Did I mention the sequined microphone? As killer as Etcertera was, Maxi well and truly turned it our and Etcetera was tragically felled from the competition.

As Maxi literally took her bow like a damn icon.

Given I lost my two faves back-to-back, it goes without saying that I was shaking with rage before Etcetera got to me. She held me in her arms, slowed my breathing and reminded me that everything will be alright. Through tears, I told her all the ways I planned to get the other girls disqualified, as she quietly listened and tried to cheer me up. 

Sixteen hours after commencing my rant, she pointed out that the surviving queens needed the set back for the next episode and as such, she’d love to have a bowl of Etcetera Etceteraspberry Crumble Ice Cream and ready herself for her inevitable run on All Stars. Right. Riiiiiiight?

Like Etcetera, this ice cream is sweet, layered and oh so comforting. With that little bit of tartiness to add some drama. It is, dear I say it, near perfection.

And super easy, thanks to its churn free nature.

Enjoy!

Etcetera Etceteraspberry Crumble Ice Cream
Serves: 1 eliminated contestant and their comfort eating friend.

Ingredients
395g can sweetened condensed milk
600ml thickened cream
3 tbsp honey
250g raspberries, frozen
1 ½ cups Malt O Milk biscuits, roughly crushed
100g honeycomb, roughly chopped

Method
Combine the condensed milk, cream and honey in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat on medium until soft peaks form. 

Fold through the raspberries, 1 cup of the biscuits and half the honeycomb, and transfer to a container and freeze until solid.

To serve, dollop out some of the ice cream and top with the remaining biscuit and honeycomb.

Then, you know the drill, devour.


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Henry Gorenicholson

Australian Survivor, Australian Survivor (2017), Australian Survivor: All Stars, Main, Street Food, TV, TV Recap

Previously on Australian Survivor physical battles dominated the game, leading to a focus on strength on each tribe. After going on a losing streak, Vakama were determined not to return to tribal council and came to both challenges fired up. After scoring a fish and chip reward – kinda – Mat found an idol in front of the entire tribe, much to Locky’s dismay who finally wanted to be the person to snag an idol. At the immunity challenge – which was again super physical – Michelle quickly dropped out, putting her tribe on the back foot from the start, which tragically led to their loss. Also Shonee sat out on a bench which featured a clue to the hidden immunity idol which see didn’t see, which is just as tragic as you could imagine. Back at camp Henry pushed to get rid of Sharn, which made Nick decide it was Henry’s time to go. While Abbey and the Athletes – who sound like the world’s shittiest band – opted to focus on strength and sent Queen Michelle out of the game.

The next day Mokuta was feeling mighty miserable, which obviously led to John welcoming Lee into the Australian Survivor nudity club. The self-annointed Dumb Dumb Club frolicked, flipped and showed off their gloriously pasty buns and hot damn, I’m drippin’ more than the Fijian skies.

Meanwhile over at Vakama the mood was just as low, though tragically far more clothed as Locky worked his arse off to keep the tribe afloat in the torrential ran. Add to that the fact he is sitting pretty in the majority alliance AND is falling for Brooke, and you could say that Locky is on cloud nine. Wait, scrap that, he is fixated on the fact that Mat has an idol and as such, he decided to start wearing it around camp to taunt poor love struck Locky. As Mat desperately wants to make him look as silly as possible.

We returned to Mokuta where the rain had stopped, the clothes were tragically back on and the tribe were doing some home improvements like a less chic version of Brad and Monica Culpepper. Well except for Henry, who was busy doing his best Coach impersonation while Nick worried about how to deal with him after spooking him at the last tribal council. With that Nick started to do damage control as Henry ranted and raved about how to save himself and play like he has no other option, while Nick sat in the shelter looking like he is about to shit himself. Based on the conversation Nick decided that Henry’s next target is going to be Shonee, so instead of trying to manage him, approaches the rest of the tribe to warn them how dangerous Henry is, so that everyone manages the situation on his behalf.

Speaking of Henry, he was reflecting on his first time in the game and remembering his mother, who passed away just before he went out. Not one to be down for count, Henry channelled his grief and as Nick feared, started working his way round the tribe to show how strong he is and play up how weak our icon Shonee is.

My love Jonathan arrived for the reward challenge – sadly clothed – where each tribe would face off one-or-one to knock an idol of the other’s handle with the first to four scoring victory. For a huge pack of cones, so you know Harry is excited. Mat and Henry were first to face off, with Henry chasing him down like prey and quickly snagging the point. Abbey made quick work of Moana, Queen Shonee was felled by Phoebe, Zach destroyed AK before Henry’s tricky juggling skills scored Mokuta the victory over David. Before the tribe headed out to smash their ice cream, Locky and Phoebe interrupted the proceedings and told Jonathan that they would like to use their previous reward and join then at the ice cream shop. Thankfully Jonathan is a messy icon, and asked them which two people they would like to send, outing their lie that it had to be used by them to the rest of their tribe.

At reward Harry was well and truly in his element, making ice creams and running around like a delirious child. Speaking of deliriousness, Henry was thrilled to show off his strength, so was working overtime to make as many friends as possible while they were all sugared up. Meanwhile Locky and Phoebe were filling everyone in on how much better the Mokuta camp is before Locky split up to gather intel from his rivals. While the tribe, smartly, stayed quiet. Making it super awkward, and honestly, painted a target on his back. Meanwhile my queen Shonee was loving the sugar but more importantly, loved finding a hidden immunity idol clue under a log. Redeeming herself for the day before. She bided her time until the tribe cleared out to wash their hands before she learnt that the idol was hidden under the well. She went for a wander into the jungle to find the well and got to work lifting it out of the way, grabbing the idol and then returning the well to its place.

Oh and she was wandering around in a jumpsuit and slides.

Terrified about being caught, she panicked about whether the well looked weird before her best friend Nick stumbled upon her. After confirming that the well looked normal, she looped her ally in on the intel and honestly, their happy dancing was too pure for this world and I ship the hell out of them.

The delicious Jonathan returned for the immunity challenge where the tribes were required to build a staircase out of heavy logs before collecting a hammer, pounding in some stakes, releasing a tunnel, climbing through a mud pit and some obstacles before shooting some baskets from a deck using a catapult. Mokuta got out to an early lead on the log stairs while Vakama struggled to grip their logs, given they were wet and slippery. I mean, I’m sad I have to use Jono’s smutty puns, but they also make me so proud of him. While I was welling up with pride, Vakama started to close the gap when it came to shooting baskets, thanks to Lee’s extremely steep learning curve. With both tribes even on nothing, Henry swapped in for Mokuta while Locky started to score basket after basket. Ultimately scoring a huge come from being immunity for Vakama while Henry narrowly avoided a nudie run, scoring one basket for the tribe.

Back at camp Nick quickly made it his priority to rally the troops against Henry, however was banging his head against a brick wall given all of the athletes are so passionate about keeping the strength. Thankfully Lee surprised me and was receptive to the idea of getting rid of Henry, and the plan quickly evolved to splitting the votes between him and Zach and getting rid of Zan Hen. Sadly for them however Abbey and Lydia weren’t feeling the plan, and Henry was busy winning over John by the fire. With Zaddy John, tragically agreeing to join him to vote out Shonee. They quickly pulled in Zach before taking the athletes aside to rope them into the plan, unaware that Harry – who invited himself along – is actually aligned with Shonee.

Harry took this information back to his fellow rascals, with Shonee quickly letting him know that she found an idol and as such, she will use it if she gets even a hint of danger. Wanting to keep the idol for a rainy day however, they split up to change the tide of the vote and continue to highlight Henry as the biggest threat. While they started to make inroads, Lydia warned Henry that people are nervous about his erratic gameplay and it would be wise to play an idol should he have one. With that, he decided to quickly throw together an idol and then plant and find it in front of everyone at tribal council. Which hopefully would be enough to force Shonee to play her real one. And given she is the CEO of the tribe, why wouldn’t she?

At tribal council Nick admitted that the tribe is still not really cohesive but hopefully after tonight, they actually will be. He used it as a rallying cry against Henry, highlighting the importance of predictability to the game. Abbey spoke about playing emotionally, Lee said that try as they might, they can’t separate their hearts from the game. Jonathan asked Lydia if they were strictly targeting the weakest, which she tried to dance around and said that she is solely focussed on doing what the majority want. Obviously Zach was all in on keeping the tribe strong before Shonee reminded everyone that they have actually won the same amount of the challenges and as such, they shouldn’t be so focussed on losing two immunity challenges in a row. John lied and said literally anyone could go tonight before Henry weighed in and said that that is a lie and in fact he or Shonee would be going tonight. Though he at least can add some strength to the tribe.

Shonee countered that she has something far more important and that is loyalty and doing what she says. Henry tried to counter it, challenging people to give him a chance. Nick tried to bring things back to making a logical decision and getting rid of the erratic players, while Henry’s eyes darted around looking for his fake idol amongst the trees. Shonee appeared to grow more and more nervous and as they were about to vote, Henry showed off his erratic behaviour, making a huge deal about finding his fake immunity idol. Shonee and Nick were unconvinced about his display and tried to calm the tribe, but they were all extremely nervous as they headed out to vote. Given she was too stressed to be blessed, Shonee played her idol and challenged Henry to play his, should it be real. Which it wasn’t so he didn’t, and as such, he found himself voted out of the game after Queen Shonee negated the majority of votes that were cast against her.

Whether it was in his best interests or not, Henry played his heart out and that is something I will always love about him. Plus, he is a total babe, despite not getting in on the nudity action. I took him in my arms as he arrived at Loser Lodge before sitting him down and berating him like Tyra did Tiffany for daring to try and target the one true Queen of Australian Survivor, my Shonee.


Emotionally spent, the only thing I could do was apologise for being not mad, disappointed in him and serving him a piping hot bowl of you-should-have-aligned-with-Shonee Henry Gorenicholson.

 

 

With as much fire as Henry had right out of the gate, this quick throw together meal appears anything but. Rich, tasty and packing a punch, you can’t be sad with this on your plate. Even if you don’t make the jury and are unlovable.

Enjoy!

 

 

Henry Gorenicholson
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 tsp peanut oil
2 shallots, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, minced
500g beef mince
salt and pepper, to taste
2 bunches bok choy, trimmed and halved
1 red capsicum, thinly sliced
1 bunch broccolini, trimmed and cut into 2cm lengths
2 tbsp kecap manis
1 tbsp sriracha sauce
1 lime, zested and juiced
200g thin egg noodles, cooked as per packet instructions

Method
Heat the oil in a wok over high heat and once scorching, add the shallot and garlic and cook for a minute. Add the mince and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, for a couple of minutes, or until nice and browned. Season with a good whack of salt and pepper, and reduce heat to medium.

Stir through the bok choy, capsicum and broccolini, and cook for a further minute or so. Add the kecap manis, sriracha, lime zest and juice, and stir until sticky and starting to thicken.

Remove from heat and toss through the noodles. Adjust the seasoning and serve immediately.

And devour. Always devour.

 

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