Bradley Chilakleiheges

Main, Side, Snack, Street Food, Survivor, Survivor: Ghost Island, TV Recap

Previously on Survivor, the latest iteration of Malolo continued to challenge Ulong for the title of worst tribe ever, much to Jacob’s chagrin I assume. After losing let another immunity challenge, Michael and James found themselves on the bottom of Malolo 3.0 with the babin’ baby turning on his ally James to save himself and sending him from the game, though that firmly left Michael on the bottom of the tribe.

And oh how I’d bottom for Michael.

Malolo awoke to another day of misery on their cursed turf with Michael in desperate need of some comfort after turning on his idol. Instead of turning to me for a cuddle or something, he went searching for another idol to get him further. While Angela tried to keep an eye on him, it seems neither she nor Des learnt anything from Ben last season as they let him continue until he found an idol. Ozzy’s iconic fucking stick to be specific. Can you believe how amazing it must feel to have two of the three most iconic immunity idol (related) things in one season?

Michael then shove the stick in his pants and it instantly made me hope he could do some damage with it. To me.

The tribes reconvened for Malolo’s next loss, this time for reward. Each tribe member would be required to hold a hope to balance a platform on which they’d be required to do a block-puzzle spelling reward. What is at stake? Steak and kebabs for first, kebabs for second and a member of Malolo banished to Ghost Island for losing. Naviti and Yanuya got out to an early lead, until Naviti dropped their entire stack and had to start again. Yanuya then dropped and Malolo for the first time ever, wait no, they dropped to. Naviti once again took the, followed by Yanuya while Malolo bickered amongst themselves. Ultimately Donathan secured victory for Naviti, despite Bradley yelling at him while he balanced the final block. Yanuya, obviously, came in second – I came in first after Chris’ nip slip … I’m thirsty today apparently, sorry – and Naviti decided to send Kellyn back to Ghost Island to maintain the mystery. Much to Kellyn’s pain.

Now making her second trip to Ghost Island, Kellyn was feeling a little bit calmer about the experience and once again had the chance to gamble for a prize. This time Kellyn had a two in three chance in taking out an advantage, so went for it and ultimately secured herself an extra vote in the form of Sarah’s Game Changers vote steal which she used to vote out Michaela ironically, since it was at Michaela’s feet for an entire challenge. While it is only an extra vote this time, that is hopefully enough to take Kellyn to the next level.

Back at Naviti the tribe were thrilled to win another challenge and get to enjoy a barbecue. Well four of them were thrilled, Bradley was busy failing in his attempts to not be a dick and barked and clapped at Donathan to do things. This pissed everyone off, including his ally Chelsea who looked set to blindside Bradley with the other three, if they lose the next challenge. Which I hope doesn’t happen because we haven’t had a delicious villain since Abi-Maria, let’s be honest.

Meanwhile over at Yanuya, the tribe was happy with their second place feast and continued to live in harmony without the oppressive rule of Bradley. They then sung Wendell’s girlfriend happy birthday and settled in for a post-lunch nap, while King Wendell went searching for an idol. He then found a clue directing him to the idol, which he quickly found. And to make the entire situation even better, said idol is the immunity necklace in Micronesia that Erik gave up to Natalie before she, Parvati, Cirie and Amanda voted him straight out. That, my friends, completes the trio of most iconic immunities in Survivor history. I don’t want to oversell the situation, but between this and the fucking stick this is the best episode ever.

Back at Malolo Angela, Des and Michael grew tired of living at the cursed camp, picking through scraps to get a tiny amount of food. Delirious from starvation, Des then led the tribe in burning the tribe flag and anything that mentioned the M word in the hope of reversing the latest cursed.

The tribes reconvened with Kellyn at the latest immunity challenge to inform Probst that they focused on reversing the curse and filled them in on the sacrificial burning. Whether it works though is yet to be seen, given how physical the challenge is. Each tribe member would swim out to a wall one by one, climb over and jump into the water to collect rings which they will use to throw on a hard rod at the end. Yanuya got out to an early lead followed closely by Naviti … until Michael dominated – swoon – Dom and took them into second place. Chris and Wendell were adept at landing rings on their rods and maintained their lead while Donathan took Naviti back into second place … until Michael got involved and caught things up. Yanuya ultimately took out victory while Michael and Donathan battled for second place with Michael finally securing immunity, breaking the curse and sending Bradley and his punching bags to tribal council.

Nobody but Bradley and his mini-mouth seemed all that bothered to be going to tribal council. While Domenick apologised for being responsible for the loss, everyone made quick work of letting him off the hook … except for Bradley who flagged his coffee reason as a potential reason for sucking. Domenick was tempted to keep him around as a goat, but couldn’t figure out whether or not he could justify it. Despite the vibe I was picking up, Bradley was confident an OG Malolo would be going home, selecting Libby as his number one target. Thankfully Chelsea took that information back to Libby and spearheaded the campaign to get rid of Bradley. She then joined Domenick to discuss their options, unsure who is the least trustworthy slash friendly. Here’s an idea, talk to Donathan and Libby and get them to join you in a lie that Bradley was idolled out of the game and hide their alliance from everyone? But anyway.

At tribal council Jeff was quick to bring up the battle between OG Naviti and Malolo, which Domenick tried to deflect in the most ambiguous way possible. While Donathan and Libby admitting to being nervous, Bradley highlighted just how little self-awareness he had while talking about how cohesive and friendly the tribe are. Donathan wasn’t buying it, bringing up that he and Libby betrayed Domenick and he is concerned that may backfire on them. Libby spoke about it being a decision to be loyal to her alliance while Bradley jumped in to offer a counter-point to her opinion. Probst then asked Chel … no Bradley still wanted to talk about how non-argumentative he is. Domenick and Chelsea then ominously spoke about people being likeable, Libby spoke about wanting the vote to solidify an alliance moving into the merge and Bradley looked as bored as Camilla at the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony.

As the votes rolled in Bradley’s mood went from disinterested to shock and ultimately to gritted-teeth rage thinly veiled as admiration as he became the seventh person booted from the game. While I didn’t want him to succeed at the game, which I told him as he entered Loser Lodge as the final pre-boot player, I truly will miss how complex a villain he made. Plus, I have some of the self-awareness he lacks and can tell that he came across exactly how I would if I ever accepted the begging of LaPaglia and Probst to join a cast.

Anyway, I berated him, then hugged him and then thanked him for bringing some good villainy back to the game, rather than the Hantz-esque trope that keeps getting repeated. We laughed, we cried, we lamented him needing to find a nice girl – like Kellyn, for instance – and then got down to smashing some Bradley Chilakleiheges.

 

 

While chilaquiles aren’t overly fancy, they are insanely delicious. Tortillas cooked until tender in salsa, slathered with cheese. Do you need me to say more? Well I added chicken, so yeah, if you wanted more … you got it.

Enjoy!

 

 

Bradley Chilakleiheges
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
olive oil
1 chicken breast, roughly chopped
1 small onion, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 chipotle chillis in adobo, roughly chopped
800g crushed tomatoes
1 cup chicken stock
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups Tortea Leoni Chips
100g queso fresco
coriander leaves, to garnish

Method
Heat a lug of oil in a large skillet over medium heat and brown the chicken for a couple of minutes. Add the onion and garlic and cook for a further couple of minutes, or until softened.  Stir through the chilli, tomatoes and stock and bring to the boil. Once rollicking, reduce to low and simmer for about fifteen minutes or until thickened. Season to taste.

Stir through the Tortea Leoni Chips and cook for a minute before serving, covered in queso fresco and coriander. And devouring.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.

BBQ Pork & Luscon Pizza

Main, Party Food, Pizza, Snack, Survivor, Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers

Previously on Survivor, the tribes switched but thankfully didn’t break up the lovebirds Cole and Jessica. Well unless you’re Jessica, who spread word about her advantage to block a vote at the upcoming tribal to everyone on new Yawa. Meanwhile Ryan was sitting pretty at new Soko, remaining with ally Ali and united with Chrissy who he bequeathed the OG advantage to in episode one. None of that mattered as Levu lost immunity, leaving Devon as the swing vote between the OG heroes and healers … until Jessica’s advantage stripped him of his vote, followed by Joe successfully playing his idol, saving himself and sending Alan from the game.

Things were suitably awkward back at camp, with Ashley and Devon congratulating Joe on successfully playing the idol. While Ashley wasn’t a huge fan of Alan, she was feeling the pressure since, at best, she is two vs. two if Devon is on her side.

The next day we dropped by Yawa where the crackling fire started to freak out Ben, bringing up bad memories of his time in the Marines. Lauren then went to the beach to see if he was ok, making me realise that the two of them and Chrissy are my dream final three. And given his powerfully personal confessional, I am thinking his chances are pretty good.

Allowing me to use my tissues for another reason, Probst returned for the next reward challenge. Reviving the Millennials vs. Gen X classic, the tribe members arms and legs were bound and required to slither across the sand and push a ball to the end, before shooting said balls – not in my tissues – into a basket … for coffee and treats. Desi dominated, getting Levu out to an early lead, allowing Ashley to get to the second mat before Roark had even gotten to Soko’s first. Levu finished the course before Soko and Yawa had even finished, shooting a basket before Yawa finally joined them shooting and poor Ryan repeatedly struggled to get over the first mound. Levu took out victory as Ryan finally made it over the mound as Cole madly tried shot his final baskets, securing them coffee and Ryan a faceplant on the mat courtesy of JP.

Everyone was happy at Levu as they returned with trays of food and coffee, uniting the tribe after the previous tribal. That being said, the 6m torsoed Devon still wasn’t trusting Joe and pledged his allegiance to Ashley as Joe and Desi went for a pow-wow on the beach. While two vs. two isn’t helpful, they are confident that they’ll be able to sway Desi if the other option is rocks.

Meanwhile Ryan was busy apologising to everyone at Soko for his dismal performance in the challenge, cracking jokes and trying to make the most of his social game. We then heard from Roark for the second time in two episodes, where we learnt she was thrilled to be the swing vote in the swap … though I’m getting the vibes, she will get Julia’d by Ryan’s Aubry if they end up at tribal. Wanting to further her own game, Ali went for a walk with Roark to see what numbers they each have and whether they can work together. They decided to target the heroes, making Ryan nervous as he is closely aligned with their first target Chrissy.

Over at Yawa, Cole was eating their minimal food directly out of the containers, much to the chagrin of Lauren and Ben. Wanting to keep the healer majority, Jessica took Mike to get water and form a closer bond given Cole was fast becoming public enemy number one. Since Cole had obviously been unable to keep the whereabouts of Joe’s idol secret, Mike knew where to look and found the Yawa idol. Sadly while Jessica was present, forcing them into an alliance whether he wanted it or not.

Jiffy Pop returned for immunity where the tribes were required to swim out to a boat to collect three bags of rice before pushing them through a wall, walking them across a balance beam and tearing them open to find balls … which they then had to maneuver up a wall before landing them in a hole. With Ryan sitting out, Yawa got out to an early lead followed closely by Soko, while Levu struggled to get through the wall. They then hit the balance beams, allowing Levu to not only catch up but overtake and get a decisive lead, with Yawa following closely behind with JP singlehandedly tried to keep Soko in the challenge. Ben made quick work of sticking the first ball in, giving Yawa the lead with Devon close behind and Soko falling out of it. Jessica and Cole also made quick work of the wall, handing Yawa immunity while Chrissy bombed the wall … allowing Desi to secure the other immunity for Levu.

Back at camp Chrissy was feeling anxious after bombing the challenge, making her vow to play big. Identifying Roark as the biggest player in the game, she pulled her aside with the view to forming an all women alliance. While Roark said she was interested, she most definitely was not and Chrissy knew it. She then approached JP – who’s chest hair is really growing out quite nicely – and Ryan about taking out the girl in the middle – so Chrissy is Aubry? This put Ryan in a hella awkward position, as Ali was firmly in the Roark camp and his other ally wanted her out. Totes awkies, as they say.

At tribal council Ali quickly started throwing shade at Chrissy for bombing the challenge, which didn’t set well with Queen Chrissy who immediately jumped in to defend herself. Ryan gave a non answer, giving no hint as to which way he was leaning. Roark got extremely sassy about Chrissy not approaching her until they lost the challenge, Ryan and JP were allegedly concerned about Roark and Chrissy’s chat by the beach despite the fact they’re clearly voting for each other. Ali made a subtle pitch to Ryan, about trust being earned at tribal council … which clearly didn’t work as he joined JP and Chrissy to send Roark from the game.

I first connected with Roark while she attended Vanderbilt University. My ex Anderson Cooper begged me to act as a life coach slash mentor at his great-great-grandfather’s university and my friendship with Roark makes me grateful for not being able to say no to that silverfox. As a superfan, she was gutted to go pre-merge but the pain quickly disappeared when she saw my BBQ Pork & Luscon Pizza.

 

 

While we barely heard from Roark pre-swap, I can attest that she is worthy of this majestic pizza. Now I know pineapple is a contentious ingredient on a pizza, it more than earns its place here – the sweet fruit perfectly cuts through the hot chilli and tart olives to leave you wanting more. Kinda like how you feel about Roark’s edit, you know?

Enjoy!

 

 

BBQ Pork & Luscon Pizza
Serves: 4.

Ingredients
2 bases as per Pizsa Zsa Gabor
passata and italian herbs, for the aforementioned bases
3-4 pork & fennel sausages, casings removed and fried into meatballs
3-4 rashers bacon, cut into strips and fried until crisp
⅓ cup diced pineapple
1 red onion, thinly sliced
⅓ cup black olives, pitted and sliced
pickled jalapenos, to taste
¼ cup BBQ sauce
1 cup mozzarella cheese

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C and prepare bases as per Zsa Zsa’s method.

Smear the dough with the passata and italian herbs, top with the sausage balls and bacon, sprinkle over the pineapple, onion, olive and jalapenos, artistically pour over the sauce and cover with cheese. Bake for twenty minutes, or until golden and crisp.

Then devour, regretting your place on the jury.

 

As you can probably tell, we are very social but the fun isn’t only limited to celebrities! You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr.