Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race the queens were divded into two teams to praise the diva of their choice on a shevangelical talk show. While the Britney fans werked bitch and proved stronger, team Mariah apparently was composed of queens that don’t like Mariah, or straight up hate her and want to turn her against the gays. Because it was bad. So bad that Ru couldn’t bring herself to class any of them safe, forcing a six-way lip-sync gangbang which was a total gag, except for poor Honey, since it resulted in her elimination.
The queens ruturned to the Werk Room in shock, sure that Ru is not playing and the entire cast is on notice. Everyone spoke about what they thought was going to happen, while poor Shuga broke down because she was totally sure that she was going home as Ru saved the girls one by one. Scarlet encouraged them to all take it as a wake up call, and while Silky agreed she still hoped the ‘hos would go one by one.
The next day the queens were feeling mildly better after last night before Ru arrived to announce that they will be competing in a Rachel Maddow mini-challenge, reading the news in the style of the icon. Mercedes wasn’t sure who Rachel was, though she did share her passion for goats, particularly if they are fainting and TBH, I could watch an entire episode of her talking about goats as she is a total sweetheart. Sadly she struggled through live read as did Vanjie and Ra’Jah, while Nina, Scarlet and Yvie slayed.
Nobody seemed to like pronouncing Colonel though.
Scarlet took out victory which gave her the chance to cast this week’s maxi-challenge, a Grease inspired musical on the Trump administration. And while Trump: The Rusical sounds like it will be terrible, I have hope that roasting Trump is worthy of his rage-tweets. Mercedes offered to play the lead role of Shandi, while literally everyone else knew that she could not. As such, Brooke suggested Ariel, which Scarlet quickly jumped on. Omarosa was given to Ra’Jah, Kellyanne went to fellow crypt keeper Yvie, Mercedes snatched Ivanka – who she doesn’t have a clue who she is – and Silky snatched Oprah the Teen Angel, much to her chagrin. The queens then broke up to rehearse and we learnt that Nina was given Sarah Huckabee Sanders which is perfect, as is Brooke as Ivana.
Ru ruturned to chat to the queens and we learnt that Brooke is a former ballerina, Ariel spoke about her musical theatre background and her ability to pick up choreography, while Scarlet admitted that she is a terrible dancer and is kinda sorta screwed. Vanjie continued to be charming and cuckoo, Silky admitted that she is a registered Republican … to bring down the party from the inside AND SHE IS PLAYING 5D CHESS. Oh and Shuga is playing Hillary, A’Keria snatched Stormy and Vanjie will be taking on Rosie O’Donnell which is really perfect for her. We learnt that Nina grew up in a Republican household while Ru learnt that Mercedes has come for Pearl’s gig, desperately needing to wake the fuck up. Unlike Ra’Jah who is a technically trained dancer and is ready to help out her fellow queens, which Ru pointed out she choked on last week.
The shade, the shade, the SHADE.
The queens arrived to meet dancing Deadpool on the mainstage to get down the choreography, with Scarlet admitted she dances between the sheets, Ra’Jah listed every damn style and Brooke pointed out her en pointe. Much to Ra’Jah’s rage, given she clearly doesn’t have Brooke’s skill or French training. The first group started to prepare with Yvie slaying, while Ra’Jah obviously struggled before having to admit she danced 15 years ago. Brooke and Scarlet slayed their rehearsal, despite the latter having no skill, proving that charm always helps. Silky struggled without having a count before we learnt that Yvie has a connective tissue issue which meant her joints pop out easily and Yanis told her to look after herself and I’m so grateful we don’t have Todrick, because she would be a tyrant about it. Though Yanis did destroy Ra’Jah’s ego and told her she shouldn’t have pretended to be a dancer and I LIVE.
Thankfully for Ra’Jah though, Ariel was also on struggle street and couldn’t get out of her head long enough to get the choreography.
Elimination Day arrived with her feeling slightly more confident after a night of rehearsing. We then learnt that Silky does her brows with a Sharpie and that is a really, really … thing, that we need to know. Nina shared about her college years when she received death threats for running for student government as an openly gay man. It was awful and my heart breaks that people had to go through these traumas because of closed minded, evil people. Like Trump. Mercedes was inspired by Nina’s story and decided to share a little bit about her religion, pulling the girls aside from last week’s issue to explain how the way the public treat Muslim people is why she is so scared of sharing. She reads so much hurtful rhetoric that she doesn’t feel allowed to be proud, so the girls rallied around and encouraged her to be a beacon of hope for young muslims.
Ru, Michelle and Ross were joined by Joel McHale and New York for the premiere of Trump: The Rusical and TBH, it wasn’t bad. I mean, after the scripted parodies from the last few seasons, I assumed we were in for a dumpster fire but all the queens did a good job. Scarlet slayed Betsy DeVos, Yvie was delightfully demented, Brooke slayed and Ariel brought it despite her fears. Shuga did Hillary proud, while Vanjie, Mercedes and Ra’Jah all felt flat and blended into the background. Particularly after Silky arrived as Oprah and stole the whole damn show. Well until Ginger Minj arrived as Trump and damn she was done dirty in All Stars 2 and I love her.
On the Cheeto in Chief inspired Orange Alert runway, Yvie came for Bianco Del Rio and Nina Bo’Nina Brown’s gigs as a circus clown. Plastique was a butterfly bombshell, Ra’Jah looked gorgeous, though I feel like Michelle is going to read the bodysuit. Nina served Hello Dolly realness, Scarlet looked interesting and I liked the movement of the gown while A’Keria was serving body and slayed. Silky looked stunning and soaked up literally everyone moment she could, then a few. Ariel channeled a showgirl, Mercedes too wore a bodysuit and has the wrath of Michelle coming for her, as does Vanjie. Brooke continued to serve Detox-esque drama and I live. Unlike Michelle, who got sick of dealing with Joel’s over excitement. Oh and Shuga served literal Cheeto in Chief and owned the runway.
Scarlet, Nina, Ariel, Plastique, Shuga and A’Keria were all sent to safety, wit Scarlet praised for her casting choices on the way out. The judges loved Yvie’s unexpected runway choices and thought her performance was delightful. Ra’Jah’s look was praised, though Ross felt her performance as Omarosa was forgettable and Michelle found her too likeable. Silky received universal praise for everything she did this week, while Tiffany was thrilled about Mercedes look while everyone else felt she disappeared and was just ok. Vanjie’s look was praised, though Michelle was sick of her pulling out the same look each week and everyone felt her Rosie was lifeless while Brooke was universally beloved and Tiffany loved her bone structure from Norwegia.
Yvie was ultimately declared safe, while Silky snatched the win – thanks to Scarlet, kinda – and Brooke too was deemed safe. On the flipside, Mercedes found herself in the bottom again, while Vanjie narrowly made her way to safety, while Ra’Jah was sent to the bottom. Much to her confusion. Thankfully that confusion didn’t hold her down, as she owned the lip sync from the very first bar. While Mercedes proved a formidable opponent, she lost her headpiece halfway through and she lost her focus, allowing Ra’Jah to take full control and even dance through flicking her wig off. As such, Ra’Jah was ultimately given another chance to compete, while poor Mercedes was sent from the competition and into the arms of her goats. Hopefully on the same farm as Miss Fame and her chickens.
Given Mercedes is literally the sweetest person to ever grace the mainstage this year – #MissCongenialty – she took her loss in her stride and was a total delight to hang out with backstage. We laughed, we spoke about the importance about being vigilant about one’s health – the unofficial theme of the season, cyst – and the healing power of a big sack of nuts. Like my Mercedes Cinnamon Dialmonds.
It should be exceedingly obvious by now that I have a passion about having nuts in and around my mouth, and these little babies are no exception. Sweet and spicy, they’re moorish and so so good.
Mercedes Cinnamon Dialmonds
1 egg white
2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup muscovado sugar
½ cup raw caster sugar
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
pinch of sea salt
2 ½ cups almonds
Preheat oven to 120C.
Beat the egg white and vanilla extract in a large bowl, and combine the sugars, cinnamon and salt in another.
Toss the nuts through the egg and then throw the spiced sugar, until they’re well coated.
Spread out evenly over a lined baking sheet and cook for an hour or so, stirring occasionally, until the coating is dry and crisp.