Synthislaw Kiss

Canada’s Drag Race, Canada’s Drag Race 2, Side, Snack, TV, TV Recap, Vegetarian

Previously on Canada’s Drag Race the dolls were tasked with forming two country-pop girl groups in honour of my dear Tay-Tay, complete with a little revenge anthem. Though sadly lacking any reads about stolen scarves. As Team Captain, Gia led the Giddy Girls to the top of the charts and herself, victory. And while Team Synthia still slayed, the Dosey Hoes were not as cohesive which led to Synthia landing in the bottom with Eve, ultimately booting her from the competition.

Backstage Kimora praised Synthia for another knockout lip sync, while Pythia was thrilled to finally get some peace and quiet with Eve out the door. Kendall praised Eve for growing this week and letting her see a new side to her before Gia praised herself for finally taking out a win. Not feeling as joyous was poor Adriana who questioned why she was the last one chosen in the challenge with Gia blaming the rusical, while Synthia pretended she just wanted to take an unexpected route. Talk turned to their track records with Icesis shadily pointing out that only two of the dolls don’t have a win, which immediately made Kimora and Kendall ready to prove why they should be here.

The next day the top seven were feeling their oats until Pythia shaded Icesis for her sole bottom placement and not taking out a second win the week before, while Synthia and Kendall were just wanting to slay again. This little kiki was interrupted by my dear Amanda who tasked the dolls with getting into artist quick drag and painting a twerk of art of their inner saboteur. There was a sea of fringes, spectacles and blunt fringes before Adriana gave a stunning abstract painting I would genuinely put on the wall (FYI, I’ve had some wine). Pythia unveiled herself, commenting on her penchant for fucking up her own life. Gia was trying to give stoned Paris Hilton, Kendall took the comedy route painting douche water, while Kimora was all about dick. Synthia , meanwhile, was British and stunning while Icesis was fire. All fire.

After burning their demons, Icesis took out victory thanks to her madcap delivery. Before we could learn if there was any benefit to her win, Amanda announced that this week they would be throwing the Sinner’s Ball! The first catergory would see them selling rocker in a Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll number, followed by an Ugly as Sin look. And then a Seven Deadly Sins look, made from scraps they pilfer from a tombstone. And since Icesis took out victory, she was given the chance to allocate them, quickly snapping Wrath for herself. Instead of being shady, she opted to go the nice route, mainly because she wanted to beat the dolls when they were at their best. As such she allocated Greed to Synthia, Sloth to Gia, Pride to Kendall, Lust to Adriana, Envy to Kimora and Gluttony to Pythia.

The dolls split up to go through their tombs with Icesis confusing the leather daddy gear for her own wardrobe, while Adriana was ready to really lust it up this week. All of the dolls were living for their hauls, except for Kimora who had bland fake leaves while Kendall was terrified of her sewing skills bringing her down. As such, she planned to build a base garment, accentuating her curves and then glueing on stuff to finish it up. 

Feeling a bit guilty, Icesis approached Kimora to make sure she was ok with her box and offered her support should she need it, as she stuck her leaves together. Adriana meanwhile started to panic about toeing the line between sexy and not making an actual look and getting read for being in underwear. Synthia meanwhile realised she already designed a gold look in the first challenge, so immediately halved the items she could pull from, though was confident in her ability to pull it off. And well, Icesis was just hella confident in taking out another win because she is an icon, frankly.

Gia meanwhile was going to dress like she fell asleep in her make-up, while Pythia was just desperate to prove herself and stand-out over the other fashion queens in Sythia and Icesis. Speaking of which, the duo were talking about how nervous Kimora is about this week’s challenge while praising Gia from pushing through her lack of skills, while they grew nervous about how quickly Pythia was throwing together a look.

Elimination Day rolled around with the Kimora talking about her confusion regarding the growing queer community, wanting to know how everyone identifies so that she isn’t calling them the wrong label or pronoun. Kendall shared that she is a queer male, while Gia and Pythia opened up about being non-binary. The dolls praised Kimora about how she broached the subject and the fact she opened up the dialogue to help others to ask with kindness.

Brooke, Brad and Amanda were joined by the iconic Gigi Gorgeous Getty on the judges panel as the dolls unveiled their Sex Drugs and Rock’n’Roll runway with Pythia serving ‘00s punk rock queen with purple hair. Kendall was a metal stoner, Gia had them gagged as a literal guitar, while Adriana looked like a goth singer from the Matrix while Icesis was a technicolour delight in honour of Gem. Synthia meanwhile was Madonna does rock before Kimora kinda looked like an extra on Dancing with the Stars in her ode to Tina Turner.

On the Ugly as Sin Runway, Pythia looked a stunning mess in a crochet gown while Kendall’s pussy vommed all over her coat before she coughed up a hairball. Which was confusing but made me love her for such an odd concept. Gia was gorgeous in a gown made of chewing gum, Adriana was demented as a peasant woman while Icesis slayed as a toilet paper doll. While Synthia was stunning as a lolly, though clearly missing the point of the assignment while Kimora was amazing in calling out slavery and damn, that hit me and all the judges in the feels.

Kendall’s Seven Deadly Sins look was a bit oddly constructed in the front, but cute otherwise. Pythia was stunning in a candy stripe dress while vomming candy, Gia looked amazing just out of bed while Adriana was gorgeous in a pink boudoir number complete with tits, which would delight Ru, TBH. Icesis meanwhile was a demonic, BDSM delight and poor Synthia was a mood in mis-matching patterns while Kimora served awkward anaconda.

The judges lived for everything Pythia did with each look while Gigi loved her make-up even more than her looks. Kendall meanwhile was praised for her clear messaging in the designed look though was read for her confusing cat lady. Gia received universal praise for all that she did while Adriana was praised for the comedy she gave the second look and showing diversity. Next up Icesis was beloved for giving non-stop couture, while Synthia was read for not really hitting the mark in any of the categories. Kimora was thanked for her beautiful slavery runway before the judges gave a hard pivot and praised her other looks for being so joyous.

Backstage the queens praised Kimora on her beautiful moment before talk turned to their critiques. Adriana was annoyed that the judges didn’t respect how hard she worked on her final look while Icesis was thrilled by her universal praise. And you know, likely second win. Gia suggested Synthia would once again be in the bottom before the girls rallied around to remind her how fierce she is. Because this is Canada, after all.

Ultimately Icesis took out victory before Kimora and Gia were sent to safety. On the flipside, Synthia was deemed one of the bottoms before pivoting again as Pythia was sent to safety for being amazing. Ultimately Adriana was also announced as safe leaving Kendall gagged to find herself in the bottom … against her damn bestie. As soon as DJ Sammy’s Heaven kicked off the dolls were ready to fight, ripping their legs free of their garment before moving around the stage, hitting her lyric and feeling all the emotions. While Synthia put up a good fight, Kendall was here to slay and proved why she deserves her place in the competition, she was flipping and fighting and totally dominated. Tragically at the cost of sweet Synthia’s place in the competition.

As soon as I saw sweet Synthia in the Werk Room, I started to sob before following the judges lead and pivoting hard, asking if I looked like a dove. While she was confused, she gave a half chuckle when I explained that my tears must be what it sounds like, when doves cry completely unaware that was a genuine thought that came into my head rather than a joke.

But that is the kind of friend Synthia is.

While she was disappointed to be leaving the competition, she is so kind and upbeat, that she couldn’t stop talking about how grateful she was for the experience. Win or lose. With that, I didn’t need to really cheer her up, so instead I toasted her success with a fresh and bitey Synthislaw Kiss.

Yeah, yeah – how many slaws can one make before they’ve exhausted their options? Well let me tell you, there is no limit to my passion for slaw. This Asian inspired number combines delicate wombok with a hit of sharp flavours to leave you wanting more. If only I had something to serve it with  …

Enjoy!

Synthislaw Kiss
Serves: 4-6.

Ingredients
2 cups wombok, finely shredded
1 carrot, peeled and julienned
1 red onion, thinly sliced
1 red chilli, sliced
45g peanuts, toasted, coarsely chopped
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 tbsp sesame oil
½ cup coriander, roughly chopped

Method
Ok, prepare yourself for a tough one!

Pop everything in a bowl and toss.

Then devour, obvi.


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