Previously on Canada’s Drag Race 12 new dolls entered the new and improved wérk room, with less use of the word ‘sissy’ but tragically also missing Lemon as Jojo Siwa. To welcome them to the competition, Brooke and the new judges Brad Goreski and Amanda Brugel tasked them with designing some getting to know you outfits using items left over in their coat check. Aka Haute Check Couture. While Icesis absolutely slayed the challenge and took out a very well-deserved victory, Gia, Eve and Beth were among the worst. While Eve narrowly avoided the bottom, she sobbed her way to safety while Gia and Beth lip synced for their live with sweet Beth tragically exiting first.

The surviving queens returned to the Wérk Room to discover that Beth had smeared an entire lipstick across the mirrors on her way out the door. Despite going home first, Kendall Gender was proud of Beth for showing how talented she is, while Eve was just thrilled that Gia was kinda-sorta knocked down a peg. Talk turned to Icesis’ killer win, though Pythia was struggling to understand how she was just safe given her design skills. Oh and speaking of struggle, Océane just wanted to de-drag and get off her feet.

The next day was rightfully Gia shady about Eve sobbing her way to join the rest of her safe sisters, while Synthia just felt she was doing too much for the moment. Like young Milk before her. The kiki was interrupted by Brad and Queen Traci Melchor to put the girls to the test in a Queen of their Neighbourhood mini, challenge, pageant. Eleganza extravaganza. To the gawds. Brings it to you every ball. Ladies and gentleman, introducing …

Sorry, I started to malfunction. 

In the pageant, Adriana looked like the sluttiest Cinderella, Eve was the hottest of hot messes complete with an eggplant bag. Océane was an icon as poutine, Icesis was straight up royal guard, Gia was a slutty Gen Z, Kimora served a widow to vamp reveal, Kendall was loved up as a heart, Suki was River’s iconic runway, Synthia was a mod mama, Pythia too was channelling River, though had a better look than Suki. Oh and then Stephanie Prince was a sparkly stripper and ugh, I love her so much.

Rightly so, Océane took out victory but before we could process that, Brad and Traci announced that for this week’s Maxi Challenge, the dolls would star in Under the Big Top: The  Rusical. Which would be performed live on the mainstage in front of the panel, just to make it that much more stressful. Which filled Stephanie with terror. Oh and the dolls could all fight for the rolls, rather than have Océane assign the rolls as is oft the reward for a mini challenge  win. Pythia opted for the role of Hennywise, Synthia requested Corset, Gia wanted the small closer of Himbo, Kimora meanwhile was trying to avoid singing while Kendall was just ready to sell it, rather than necessarily nailing any singing. Suki, Icesis and Stephanie meanwhile were fighting for two dance only roles, ultimately vogueing for them leaving Suki with the last role nobody wanted. Which is never great come judging.

With that out of the way, the dolls split up to rehearse with Stephanie and Icesis going method as they sat around reading the dolls for absolute filth.

We then got whiplash as the dolls ventured to the mainstage to work through their vocals, with Pythia giddy to be working with Broadway legend Thom Allison while slaying the comedy of her role. Synthia meanwhile hit every damn note and shit, she can SING. Kendall was getting an A for effort and damn, her struggles to find a key was delightful. The characters of Bing, Bang and Bong were a damn mess, and Bimini and the dawls need to sue their actors ASAP. Gia sounded like Adore in the Season 6 rusical, giving me full You’re Going to Love Me Ts. Eve meanwhile was super confident and well, it was misplaced.

The dolls then got to work on the choreography with Hollywood Jade with Stephanie and Icesis quickly put through their paces, and ugh, I hope their struggles were a fake-out edit because I love them both. Kimora slayed her low-rent Bianca Del Rio character’s moves, before team Bing Bang Bong, bing bang bombed once again.

Elimination Day rolled around with the dolls anxiously beating their mugs, with Adriana sharing how nervous she is to be rapping in English given it is her second language. She bonded with Suki and Stephanie about moving to Canada when they were young and the difficulties of growing up with racism and homophobia. Océane opened up about how she was abandoned as a baby in the forest in Haiti before being adopted by her parents and moving to Canada and shit, that is an intense story and I feel we didn’t even hear the half of it.

The judges were joined by Hollywood Jade for the premiere of the rusical and well damn, it was GOOD. Synthia opened the show with a showstopping bang, Kendall sold the hell out of her role, Suki, Adriana and Océane were charming despite the messiness, Icesis and Stephanie were glamorous albeit not exactly in time, Eve botched her reveals in a charming way but all of that meant nothing because Pythia straight up stole the show. She was wacky and weird, hitting every note and nailing all of the moves. Poor Kimora nailed it but coming after Pythia, she had an uphill battle. Particularly when Gia knocked the Meatloaf-in-Rocky Horror role out of the damn park too.

On the Circus Berzerkus runway Icesis slayed as the sexiest Harlequin to grace the planet. Gia was a red and white sexier Evil Knievil. Kendall was stunning as a lilac horse, Eve was gorgeous as Lucille Ball in a vampy lion suit. Océane served black and white circus tent realness, Synthia was stunning in technicolour stripes, while Pythia owned the show with TWO DAMN HEADS. Kimora served glamourous circus trash, Suki straight up pulled a puppet out of her hat while Adriana gave us a flaming, alien tightrope walker while Stephanie was a stunning bearded lady.

Ultimately Icesis, Kendall, Suki, Océane, Gia, Pythia and Eve were deemed the tops and bottoms – insert, we’re all bottoms joke – and once the safe girls disappeared, Suki was praised for her killer runway despite the judges feeling her performance was an absolute mess. Gia received universal praise from nailing the performance to her campy runway, the judges lived for Kendall’s commitment, praising her professionalism and ability to put on a show. Icesis meanwhile was read for being stuck in her head during the performance despite looking iconic on the runway. Eve too was praised for nailing the runway, though the judges felt her performance was very flat. Océane was praised for being a joy on stage, despite it being an absolute mess while Pythia received universal praise for literally everything she did.

The tops and bottoms joined the safe queens with Icesis gagged to likely follow her win with a lip sync. Stephanie identified Kendall, Gia and Pythia as the tops, which annoyed Eve, given Stephanie didn’t perceive her as a top. Or she wasn’t a top. Or the fact the judges judged her on her singing but not Kendall’s. Honestly, the reviews were mixed and she gets pressed easier than I do. This annoyed Gia, who read Eve for being bitchy with Eve countering that she was up against a bitchy clique. She followed it up by calling Kendall out for not being as friendly with her in the competition as in the real world and well Eve, please just stop yourself because even if it is true, you aren’t coming across as the victim. Thankfully Stephanie put a stop to the bicker, simply telling Eve that nobody hates her. 

Kendall, Eve and Gia were ultimately deemed safe, handing Pythia a well earned victory. (Side note: how was Synthia just safe)? On the flipside, Suki narrowly avoided the bottom leaving Océane to battle it out against Icesis to Girlicious’ Stupid Shit. And damn, did Icesis get her dance ability back. She was hitting every lyric as she flipped and bounced across the stage while Océane was all comedy, face and charm and I live for the two of them. Sadly, somebody had to go and given Icesis won the week before, my sweet Océane was tragically felled.

Given she is such a sweetheart, Océane took her boot in her stride and pulled me in for a  massive hug when she found me backstage. You see, after hearing her story about being abandoned in the jungle, I travelled back in time to get her advice before my star turn in the hit musical Jungle Fantasy (I was the fantasy, complete with my teen nip hanging out). While I was intending to just drop in for advice and bounce, never to be seen again, Océane’s warmth was contagious and we became the next of friends. Routinely catching up to smash a couple of Pistachiocéane Aqua-Blacones.

Ok, ok – the name is a bit shoehorned in. But when you taste these glorious mini pistachio cones, you won’t give a damn. Sweet and earthy, they are the perfect little treat to perk yourself back up again.

Enjoy!

Pistachiocéane Aqua-Blacone
Serves: 12.

Ingredients
1 cup raw unsalted pistachios
1/4 cup raw caster sugar
380g tin sweetened condensed milk
600ml thickened cream
1 tbsp vanilla extract
24 mini waffle cones, which I obviously bought because I am hella lazy
200g white chocolate
a couple of drops green food colouring

Method
Start by blitzing the pistachios and sugar in a high speed blender until a smooth – or as smooth as one can get – paste is formed.

Combine the condensed milk, cream, vanilla and pistachio paste in a large bowl of a stand mixer and whip on medium speed until the-softer-end-of-firm peaks form.

Transfer to a piping bag and pipe into the cones before transferring to the freezer to set for a couple of hours. If you don’t have something to sit the cones upright in, simply freeze the ice cream first and then fill the cones when it is solid.

While the cones are setting, melt the chocolate in the microwave in 10-second bursts before mixing in as much colouring as needed to give you a beautiful pistachio colour. Aka be gentle, less you want a fluro snot colour.

Dip each ice cream in the chocolate and return to the freezer to set for half an hour. Before devouring  the entire batch.


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