Candy Apple Spelling

Carnival Week, Dessert, Sweets

High society folk like us have many ways of making friends – some admittedly more glamorous than others. While I’d love to say Ben and I met our greatest gal-pals during our prep-school education at Chilton, we actually spent our teenage years at 267th best public school in the United States – Beverly Hills High.

It was on these sacred grounds that we first met the delightful Candy Marer, more commonly known as Candy Spelling. We spent our high school days generally sass-mouthing ugly children and behaving like a self-proclaimed mean girl clique. It was glorious, and Candy was our queen.

Fast-forward a few years and Ben and I were the most dazzling bridesmaids ever as Candy Marer became Candy Spelling. Aaron was quite the handsy fellow at the wedding, a handsy-ness we enjoyed and encouraged and would ultimately mark the demise of our great friendship with Candy.

After Aaron’s death in 2006, Candy turned to her closest BFFs for comfort only to find out that we were aggressively pursuing the estate for the contents of the wrapping room. While we obtained the most luxurious gift wrap supply known to man, our relationship with Candy was destroyed.

As it turns out, we really miss Candy and it is time to make amends. What says here is a sweetener to bring you back into our lives?

 

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After all, nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like a piece of impaled fruit covered with jaw-breaking, blood red candy.

 

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Candy Apple Spelling
Serves: 6

Ingredients
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup glucose syrup
1-2 teaspoons red food colouring
6 medium granny smith apple
6 extra thick barbecue skewers

Method
Wash and dry the apples and firmly skewer through the core with a barbecue skewer. Line a tray with non-stick baking paper.

Combine water, sugar and glucose syrup in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat, without stirring for 20 minutes or until a candy thermometer registers 150 degrees celsius (hard crack stage). Add food colouring, tipping the saucepan gently to mix.

Working quickly, dip skewered apples into candy mixture until coated. Set aside on baking paper until firm and cool.

 

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Pizsa Zsa Gabor

Main

Some things never change; Zsas is a spitfire with a heart of gold and we love her for all that she has done in keeping our lives together.

After her driver dropped her off at 5PM for our dinner (this is due to the elderly needing to eat early, and by that I mean Annelie and I need to eat early) she immediately launched into her concerns that I was living in an unsafe neighbourhood (“Grifters and vagrants everywhere, Darling”) and my kitchen was barely that (“This box is a kitchen? Darling, we will call it the Deluded Kitchen until you upgrade”).

Being that Zsa Zsa was like a surrogate mother to us throughout the years, we felt the need to make something homely and loving, so went with a Pizsa Zsa Gabor.

 

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The dough had nothing it needed to prove (classic), being as warm and soft as one of Zsas’ hugs. In turn, the pizza was as spicy as her love life, brought out her exotic edge … and highlighted her hot temper.

She loved it, we love her. Enjoy!

 

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Pizsa Zsa Gabor
Ingredients
Pizza Dough
2 cups warm water
1 ½ tsp dried yeast
½ tsp caster sugar
785g plain flour
1 tbs salt
3 tbs grated parmesan
3 tbs finely chopped herbs (I use oregano, rosemary and sage)

Topping and assembly
½ butternut pumpkin, diced
cinnamon
200g feta, diced
chilli flakes
small bunch of sage
tomato sauce or paste
herbs
cheese to top

Method
Place yeast, sugar and water in a bowl and stir to dissolve. Stand for 5 minutes, or until mixture starts to foam. Sift flour and salt into a bowl, add the yeast mixture, parmesan and herbs and stir until dough starts to come together.

Knead dough on a lightly floured surface for 8 minutes or until smooth and elastic (you could use an electric mixer, but we learnt that kneading was therapeutic in anger management). Move to a large, oiled bowl and cover with cling-wrap; set aside in a warm place to prove for 3 hours or until doubled in size.

Knock back the dough and divide into 6 balls. Place on a large tray and cover with a damp cloth (tea towels work great) for a further 2 hours. If you don’t want to make 6 pizzas (don’t know why you wouldn’t but in case), you can wrap the remaining dough balls in cling-wrap before proving and freeze for 2 months. You can then defrost and prove as usual.

When you’re almost ready to start, pre-heat oven to 180C.

Spread diced pumpkin on a small tray and coat with a dash of oil and some cinnamon (I am pretty heavy handed, but this is discretionary). Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.

While the pumpkin is cooling slightly, flatten the dough out to fit the pizza tray (or whatever you are cooking it on). Full disclosure, I am terrible at flattening out the dough. I would suggest searching YouTube for instructions. It didn’t help me, but I assume it didn’t hurt either.

Cover with a tomato sauce (I just used tomato paste and the remaining herbs), sprinkle with chilli flakes (again, quantity is discretionary) and spread sage leaves, pumpkin and feta over the top.

Bake, serve and then eat.

Dinner, darling?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Annelie and I got the surprise of our lives this morning when Zsa Zsa’s people called to tee-up a dinner date.

Don’t get me wrong, we love Zsa Zsa and think of her like family, we just kind of forgot she was still alive…so thankfully she wanted to catch-up before she…wasn’t (although with our invention of time-travel, that probably wouldn’t matter).

We first connected with Gabor in a Beverly Hills jail; Zsas was accused of slapping a cop, I was charged with causing a scene and assaulting a mannequin that I thought was my nemesis Kim Cattrall in Badgley Mischka (it was a big mistake) and Annelie turned herself in for public indecency and lewd behaviour when the police failed to notice her flashing across the road from Zsa Zsa’s arrest.

What do you make for the elderly woman that noticed your cries for help, took you in and cared for you as her own when rehab failed (I was addicted to caffeine pills and shooting glucose syrup into my eyeballs, Annelie was addicted to Twinkies and snorting icing sugar) and Hollywood turned its back on you?