With the Motion Pictures covered for this year’s Golden Globe Gold celebrations thanks to Ry, Rich and Di, I’ve turned my attentions back to the TV noms – dutifully kicked off that to Katey – with a man that first snatched my attention 18 years old, Gael Garcia Bernal.
Side note: fuck I am old.
Obviously I first met Gael while he was working on Y Tu Mamá También. Alfonso invited me to set to advise on early noughts homosexual experimentation – very specific job I know – and I instantly fell in love with his piercing green eyes and sexy accent.
I then went down a rabbit hole – his included – learning Spanish and embracing my ethnically ambiguous appearance to make myself more attractive to him. Which worked and lead to a torrid love affair that will flood my basement until the end of time.
While it didn’t work out, we remained friends against all odds and as we parted as lovers and became friends, he vowed to remember me. Me being me, though he said remember you. In any event, that inspired my dear Rob to write the song Coco about our love affair.
Another side note, but Coco will make me sob every damn time I see it. I mean, too much.
As soon as we locked eyes on each other, we ran into the other’s arms and held each other close, remembering the unbridled sexual chemistry we shared, and thankful that its end birthed our beautiful friendship.
I mean, it was powerful. With that moment out of the way, we focused on the task at hand and started running the odds, Gae knowing better than most that my bookies will catch up with me if we don’t do write. We started with his victorious category, agreeing that Michael Douglas is primed to win Actor in a Musical or Comedy despite Bill Hader or Jim Carrey being the most deserving. For Actress, Gael is backing a back-to-back win for Rachel Brosnahan, while I think that Kristen Bell win sneak in to victory as The Good Place – gasp – takes out Best Comedy. If only for the Janet episode. And obviously we both want Henry Winkler to give another adorable speech so back him, despite my boys Alan and Ben facing off against him.
Spirited debate, and loving, platonic support meant we has a gay old time, which obviously was topped off when me smashed … a Gaeltime Garcia Bernal or two.
Gaytimes are literally the greatest ice cream of all time. I mean, they are sold as being gay so that is a win but then you add in toffee – though I went with caramel, FYI – and vanilla ice cream, chocolate and glorious vanilla biscuits? I’m moister than an oyster when Gael visits.
Gaeltime Garcia Bernal
Serves: 1, let’s be honest.
1 cup Vanilla Ice Cream
2 cups Shangelato
100g milk chocolate, melted
2-3 tbsp cream
1 cup Gaytime Crumbs
Get the Vanilla Ice Cream out of the freezer and leave to soften slightly before spreading in a lined slice tin and transferring to the freezer until frozen solid.
Next remove the Shangelato to soften. Once it is spreadable, spread half of it in the base of a lined lamington tray. Remove the vanilla ice cream slab and cut into bars, pressing into the Shangelato at equal spaces before topping with the remaining ice cream until the vanilla has disappeared, though marking the top to ensure you get perfectly coated vanilla blocks. Place it in the freezer to set completely.
When you’re ready melt the chocolate and cream in a microwave, stirring until it is soft and well combined. Remove the ice cream from the freezer and cut into their bars, and place the Gaytime Crumbs in a bowl.
Working quickly, dip the ice cream into the chocolate and crumbs and transfer to a lined baking sheet. Repeat until all coated and return to the freezer to set for an hour or so.
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